A Thief's Tale.

by bronywithakeyblade

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy, Random, Adventure, Sex, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Other, Romance, Original Character
Length: 9045

A story about a young thief who faces many challenges in day to day life.

70 years after the events of mlp fim the changelings invade Equestria. Although technology has become more advanced many ponies live in poverty. The war has taken it's tole on civilization and with out the princesses or elements of harmony all hope seems lost, there are those who joined the resistance and decided to fight back. One pony by the name of Mist would soon join these ranks, but as for now he is a thief. Running from the law, the mafia, and an ancient cult of thief hunters.

Published 2013-08-04 16:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-08-04 16:50:02 UTC

Chapter 1: Humble Beginings

DISCLAIMER: I don’t own shit. MLP is the property of Hasbro. Most of the fallowing characters were created for the purpose of a fan based project. This is not canon with the show hence the term fan-fiction. Please support the original show and the upcoming fan made project The Wings of Equestria.

70 years after the Royal Wedding of Princess Cadence and Shining Armor the Changeling Queen Chrysalis has taken over Equestria. Technology has seen a rise as planes, cars, guns and many other advancements have been created. The Changeling used this tech and some of there own in the take over, The leading Princesses are now were to be found and a presumed to be dead. The Elments of Harmony haven’t been seen or used for years. Some cities remain strong and fight the Changlings, however the economy is unstable, many ponies have resorted to crime. A pegasus by the name of Dark Star has assembled a rag-tag team known as the Wings of Equestria to fight the Changelings and free Equestria. This is the story of one of those ponies. Before he was a soldier he was a thief, living life on the edge and stealing to survive in a harsh world.

Chapter One

Humble Beginnings

Hello my name is Mist and I am a thief. If you haven’t already seen my wanted poster I am a young male earth pony, black fur, purplish blue mane, and a knife with a lock pick crossing over it as my mark. Of course you probably won’t see that because it will be covered by my signature purple over coat. Now I may appear earth pony but I was born a pegasus.

You see I was born into a farming family as a pegasus. I was the first born. Then a year later my brother was born, every pony thought he was older than me because he was bigger and stronger. We lived a simple life and over time our family grew, but one day a tyrant unicorn came and enslaved us. He used some dark magic spell to remove the my wings, and the rest of my family’s wings. This way we couldn’t fly away. We were moved to some were along the Equestria borders. The large cities chose not to help with the slavery matter, according to them they needed to focus on the Changelings, I say there selfish bastards. We were aloud to mingle in our slave community and there fore we could reproduce, thus my family grew, of course they were forced to work as well. Almost every night the guards would get drunk and burn our crops then get mad at us for not having enough crops. They would also rape the mares.
One night the captain of their guard, a unicorn by the name of Dark Suppression who also happened to be the slave master’s son tried to have his way with my mother. My father defended her and as a result he was taken away, before he left he gave me his knife. He said “Son take this knife, and do what you must.” I never saw my father again. That night I talked to the second oldest son and my closest brother. I told him I was going to kill the master, I told him to get the slaves and run, I told him to watch after the family.

That night I took the knife and slit the masters throat in his sleep, I stole the masters stash of money and freed the slaves, I gave them the money and ran in a separate direction, I knew they would hunt me. Dark Suppression vowed to kill me and thus we became mortal enemies, he took my father from me and I took his father from him. I ran away to a nearby city, there I took up thieving. Being a slave you don’t really get time to find yourself so a month later I received my mark. I learned I was gifted in thieving and stealth. I was only 15, that’s right I killed my first stallion at age 15. I did what I must and I still have the knife to prove it.
So now I am on the run. Living in the shadows. I have been at this game for so long now. When I’m not stealing I’m getting drunk or having a one night stand with some mare I met at the bar. But just because I am a thief doesn’t mean I’m bad. I don’t steel from the poor, weak or ill. I don’t mug, murder, or rape. I only steal from the wealthy, the greedy, and the corrupt.

As you may have imagined I have many enemies, let me name a few. The mafia, Dark Suppression, assassins, bounty hunters, guards, gang members, an ancient cult of thief hunters, and the occasional crazy ex-mare friend. The Changeling war really hasn’t hurt me and I have no interest in fighting, after all those bastard Equestrian soldiers never did shit for me. My only friends are my contacts, myself, my revolver, my knife and of course Night Shadow. For those of you who don’t know Night Shadow was the first thief, and considered the king of thieves. His teachings tell us to never steal from the poor, ill, or weak and instead steal from the rich, corrupt and greedy. He was actually considered royalty and he was an alicorn. According to historical documents he was supposed to be wed to Princess Luna, however there was an attempt on Luna’s life and he died protecting her. Us true thieves respect the teachings of Night Shadow and the Night created by Luna. Sadly only a few thieves fallow the code these days. Despite what you may have heard us thieves do have honor. Those who have honor are respected. Some were given shrines that were soon lost to the ages. Temples for thieves to hide are scattered across the land, sadly most are now rumble. Today us thieves hide in safe houses created by an underground organization known as The Snake Way, it is a collection of safe houses were thieves can rest, drink, and trade. Being a thief is not easy. Unless you know how to do it.

“Get Him!” Yelled a guard.
“Oh shit.” I say to myself. I run as the guards chase me through several abandoned building. I ran to the roof top of one of the buildings with the guards hot on my tail. I reached the edge and jumped to the roof of another building. This did not shake the guards. I did this a few more times and still didn’t shake the guards. The next gap was too large to jump. The guards stopped behind me.
“Okay we got you now scum.” Said a guard as he pointed his gun at me.
“Oh do you now?” I reply with a smile as I jump off the building. My body falls into a open dumpster below. Unfortunately the ground was at a vertical slant and me landing on the dumpster caused the wheels to star moving. It wasn’t so bad until I rolled into the friggen street going downhill. I moved my body to control the dumpster’s movements just avoiding oncoming cars.
“Ass hole” Yelled one of the drivers. I go downhill some more and I gain speed as I approach some train tracks. This would not be so bad if the train wasn’t coming. I had no choice, I either speed up and hope I live, or jump out going at high speeds and hope I live. It was a split second decision. I focused all my wait on the front of the dumpster and I gain speed. I smash through the gate and make just before the train passed through. I continued to go down when I notice a road block set up by the guards. I was heading towards the docks. I made another quick decision by leaning to the right forcing the dumpster to head towards a service ramp. The dumpster goes up the ramp and I catch air flying over the road block. I could’ve sworn I heard some of the guards whisper the word “Damn.” I fly into the bay falling out my noble dumpster and landing safely in the water.

I swim to an area away from the docks on a secluded beach. I get out of the water and see a three hooded ponies with guns pointed at me. I simply stare at them blankly.
“You know” said one of them as he removed the hood to reveal himself as a yellow blue mane earth pony. “we really shouldn’t let you swim in the ocean, you might pollute the water.”
“Shut up Sand Trotter.” I reply.
“So how are you enjoying Mareami?”
“Nice place, love the beach, the locals are so friendly, one even bothered to call me asshole, hey do you know where I can…”
“Get a drink?
“You read my mind.”
We hopped in a van and drove to one of the safe houses. After a few minutes of driving we arrived at the safe house. We walked up to the door and Sand Trotter knocked.
“What’s the password?” Asked the Pony behind the door.
“Yo Mama.” Replied Sand Trotter.
“Enjoy your stay.”
The door opened and we went inside, I made my way to the bar with Sand Trotter. Sand Trotter is one of my contacts, he is the stallion you talk to if you want to smuggle something along the cost.
“So do you have it?” He asked
“ Yup.” I reply as I hand him a small bag. He opened the bag and pulled out a golden gun cartridge, inside were golden bullets, I believe about 15 were in there.
“Only one cartridge?”
“ Well its’ not exactly easy stealing from a rich pony who carries a gun with him, your lucky I didn’t just bring one bullet but be my guest, go over there and steal it yourself.”
“ Okay fine” Sand Trotter gave me a bag of bits.
“ Thank you.”
“Just shut up and drink.”
I reach in and pull to bits out of the bag and place them on the counter.
“One Pegasus Feather beer f24.”
A moment later my drink arrives in a glass bottle. Pegasus Feather Beer is one of the strongest and best tasting beer in Equestria. I am only drinking formula 24 a weak version that pretty much anypony can handle. Not to say I can’t handle tough drinks. I just feel like relaxing, for now anyways. Pegasus Feather actually created a drink so strong it was made illegal in most of Equestria. They called it Formula 0. The strongest legal one is called Formula 55. The numbers are random have nothing to do with how strong they are, or example Formula 4 is stronger than Formula 17 but weaker than Formula 12. My personal Favorite is a tie between Pegasus Feather Classic aka Formula 1 because of its flavor and simplicity and Formula 25 because it is strong and has incredible taste.
The T.V was turned on and a commercial began to play. Images of soldiers preparing for battle were shown, and then a male announcer began to speak.

“Equestria plunged into turmoil, the changelings have taken over. They continue to take city after city in there conquest. Lead by their queen they will stop at nothing to take over. But fear not, brave stallions and mares are signing up to join the fight for freedom. They will never rest until Equestria is free of the bug menace. You can be one of these heroes. You can be a freedom fighter. So enlist today and help make Equestria a better place.”
“ Are you thinking about joining up” Asked the bar tender
“ Fuck that shit.” I reply.
“ What’s your problem with freedom?”
“ I don’t have a problem with freedom I have a problem with the military, if you can even call the a military.”
“ Why is that?”
“Because.” I said as I stood up. “I was a for the majority of fucking my child hood, and the fucking military didn’t do shit to free us, they just let us stay there. We have had soldiers visit our slave villages on their way to missions or to bang some military nurses, all they said was they were sorry we had to go through this but the war makes it hard. The fucking bugs weren’t even a big threat back then. they could’ve done something but they just didn’t fucking care.”
“ You can’t be mad at them, if anything it’s the Changeling’s fault for starting this war. The soldiers are just doing their job protecting Equestria.”
I then grab him by his mane and pull him down. “ Well they are doing a pretty fucking shitty job if you ask me.” I let him go and pushed him away. “ I need another fucking drink.”
Sand Trotter put his hoof on my shoulder.
“ The war has been hard on all of us” he said. “Security has doubled and it has been harder to smuggle goods along the cost.”
“The war has been hard” I reply. “ To some more than others.”

After a few more drinks I was shown to a room and I went to sleep. I did not sleep well that night as I had nightmares of my slave life. This isn’t new. I feel like I’m cursed to relive these damn memories. Memories of blood, terror, and death. I see ponies being forced to work. I see them being beaten by the overseers, and I see the slave masters body lying dead thanks to me. I feel so lost and so confused. Why do these damn memories keep coming back, I feel I’m missing something. Then I remember , I remember the face of Dark Suppression. I remember that he wants me dead, and I remember that I feel the same way towards him, almost every night I am plagued by these dreams.
The next take I awake bright and early at exactly 11:00 A.M sharp. I go down into the main room. I see Sand Trotter sitting at a table. I sit next to him and we engage in a conversation about mares. This went on for about ten minutes. Later there was a knock at the door.
“ What’s the Password?” Asked the door pony.
Suddenly the door exploded and knocked the door pony back killing him in the process. Several ponies in orange cloaks and hood came in firing guns.
“ Oh shit!” Yelled Sand Trooter. “ Guardians of Order!”
This is not good. The Guardians of Order are an ancient colt of thief hunters dating back to Night Shadow’s time. They will stop at nothing to kill thieves even if it means killing civilians. Us thieves and many others including guards refer to them as The False Guard. There first leader was the one who killed Night Shadow. A powerful unicorn named Black Shield. He attempted to kill Luna when she refused to tell him where her soon to be husband was. Night Shadow showed up knowing that Black Shield wants him. The two battled and Night Shadow was killed. Luna and Celestia over powered him and captured him. Normally Celestia would banish him, but she hated to see Luna heart broken and he was guilty for the murder of a royal. His punishment was the extremely rare execution. However he had many followers and thus the False Guard continues to live on hunting thieves no matter who is harmed.

I pull out my revolver and fire back flipping over a table to protect Sand Trotter and I. We exchanged fire for a while.
“ How the fuck did they find us?” I ask in a panic.
“ How the fuck should I know?” Replied Sand Trooter.
The bar tender grabbed a shotgun and killed several cultist. However he was overwhelmed and gunned down.

“ Over here boys!” Yelled a muscular male earth pony with brown fur and a greyish white mane.
We ran to his location and he took us down some stairs. In the basement he lead us to a large barrel, he removed the lid to reveal a ladder going down to the sewers.
“Go!” He yelled.
“ Who are you?” I asked
“ I’m Slippery Shank, I run, I mean ran this safe house, now go ill find another way out.”
“Okay.”
“ Fallow Sand Trotter, we will meet up on the cost line, be careful the cultist are all over the city, we must escape, good luck and may Night Shadow be with you.
And with that we entered the sewers.
Sand Trotter and I walked for a while in the sewers. We didn’t mind the smell as we were used to it. Sewer rats scurried as we walked through the dark sewers.
“ So where are we going.” I ask
“ These sewers lead to the beach, there we will walk along the cost until we reach a hidden port located in a cave, we will take a cargo ship out of here and head to Fillydelphia.” Replied Sand Trotter.
“Okay, wait a cargo ship?”
“Yeah we bought one of some pony who sells used ships, we fixed her up and now she is ours”
“Awesome.”
“Yup the SS Jerk.”
“SS Jerk”
“Yeah the pony we bought it from was a bit of a dick so we named it after him.”
“I guess that makes sense.”
After about twenty minutes of walking we arrived at a drainage system dumping out into the beach, there we met up with Slippery Shank and a few others who made it.
“This way” said Slippery Sank.
We walked for a while until we arrived at a large cliff. Slipper Shank knocked on a rock and a small section of the cliff moved revealing a hidden entrance. We all walked in to see a large cargo ship. It had the word SS Jerk written on its side. Despite having a few pieces of scrap metal she was still a beautiful vessel. He pulled a lever and a large section of the cave opened up, big enough to fit the ship through. We climbed aboard and set sail. The proud ship moved through the water slowly but surely.
We have been sailing for a while and it has gotten dark. The ship is slow and old and she has a hard time turning. Do to intense waves some of the ponies aboard have become sea sick. The ship maybe slow but the oncoming waves do no damage. The hull is strong but I don’t think it would stand a chance against a few torpedoes in it’s side.
I stood on the front deck of the ship.
“ You are still awake.” Claimed Sand Trotter as he approached me.
“Yeah.” I reply.
“So how long do you think it will be until we make it to Fillydelphia?”
“The fuck if I know. I just hope we don’t run out of food.”
“I’m feeling really uneasy man.”
“Why is that.”
“Well if memory serves correctly these are pirate waters.”
“Lovely.”
“Mist.”
“Yeah man.”
“Do you ever think of settling down, quitting thieving, meeting a mice mare and raising a family?”
“No.”
“Me neither!”
We both broke out into laughter. After a while of talking we left the deck and went to bed. I slept well. The rocking motion of the ship put me to sleep fast. Wish I could say the same for others who were vomiting excessively.

The next morning a awake to the sound of commotion on the decks. I heard some yelling. To be safe I grabbed my knife and revolver and hid them in my over coat. I looked through a small crack in the side of the ship to see several small boats and a larger boat. The boats had some rope heading to the top of our ship. I felt a presence behind me. I quickly turned around knocked the pony to the ground and pointed my gun at him.
“Wait.” He pleaded.

It was one of the other thieves aboard.
“What’s going on?” I ask as I help him up.
“Pirates have boarded us, they took Slippery Shank and most of the crew captive.”
“Is Sand Trotter Alright?”
“He is in hiding in the boiler room with the rest of the crew, he sent me to go get you.”
“Hey have we checked down here?” Said a voice.
“No, but we should.” Replied a second voice.
“ Oh shit the pirates are coming for us.” Said the thief in a panic.
“Shit, okay go to the boiler room, tell Sand Trotter I am fine, I will take care of these guys.”
The pony nodded and ran to the boiler room. I took cover behind a wall. The two pirates walked in, one was an earth the other was a unicorn.
“Nopony is here.” Said the earth pony.
“Keep looking there bound to be here somewhere.” Barked the unicorn.
“ Over here dick bags” I call out as I jump from the shadows firing a bullet and killing the earth pony.
“ Oh Fuck!” Screamed the unicorn as he charged me with a knife. I redirected his blow and forced him to a wall. He gets up and pulls out his gun firing a few shots at me but they all missed as I quickly dodged them. One of the stray bullets hit a steam valve that lead to the boiler room. Steam filled the room and we lost sight of each other. The unicorn used a spell to clear the steam away. He was pointing his gun in random directions trying to find me. I snuck up behind him with my knife and stabbed him in the spine paralyzing him, and then I snapped his neck and let his body fall to the floor. I then stare at the bodies.
“I’ll clean it up later.” I say to myself as I run to the boiler room.

I run to the boiler room but to my own horror when I get there I see pirates have taken control. I surrendered along with the rest of the crew I was forced to the top deck. We joined the rest of the hostages there. We also met the leader of the pirate gang. The sea foam green pegasus with a black mane and what appeared to be an image of a bird’s talon.
“Captain Blood Bird, here are the others.” Said one of the pirates.
“Good job.” Replied Blood Bird.
“What shall we do with them?”
“Leave them here. Let me talk to them, and who is this?” Blood Bird walked towards me. “Well I’ll be dammed it’s Mist, the greatest thief in Equestria, and I captured him.”
“I’ve been captured before, and I have escaped. I don’t see what makes you any different.” I reply.
“Mist because of you two of my colts are dead, I wanna return the favor and execute two ponies here or perhaps all of them, I tell you what if I get two volunteers I will make the rest of you slaves. So any takers?”
“I volunteer.” Said Slippery Shank. “This is my fault, I should never have gone into pirate waters.”
“So be it!” Two pirates forced Slippery Shank to the ground, another one came from behind him with a pistol.
“Remember this is all thanks to Mist!” screamed Blood Bird. “Any Last words?”
Slippery Shank hesitated and then spoke. “Suck my fucking dick you peace of shit.”
The pirate shot and the bullet pierced the back of his head leaving and exit hole in the front. His body fell to the ground.
“Bastards!” Screamed Sand Trotter as he tried to rush but was held back by some pirates.
“Who’s next?” Inquired Blood Bird.
“ Well well well, the noble Mist wishes to redeem himself. I think I wanna kill you my self.”
Two pirates tried to escort me but I shook them off.
“I can walk to my own death thank you very much.”
I walk to Blood Bird and stand face to face.
“Ready to die?” He asks.
“Fuck you.” I say as I spit in his eye, buck his lower stomach and take his gun causing him to fall to the ground. The other pirates point their guns at me. I put the gun down and Blood Bird picks it up. He forces me down.
“Normally I would ask if you have any last words but now I am just to pissed.”
“Just fucking get on with it.”
He positions the gun. Holds me down and prepares to shoot. He pulls the trigger….
But nothing happened.
“What the fuck?” I then kick back nailing him in his crotch, get up and pull out my gun that the pirates were too stupid to take from me.
“Looking for these?” I ask as I pull out several bullets from my cloak.
“But how the fuck did you?”
“When I took your gun I didn’t intend to shoot you I just wanted to steal your ammo, why didn’t you see me? One I was fast, two you had spit in your eye, three your colts were to focused on were the gun was pointing and not what was being done to the gun, and finally four….I the best damn thief in Equestria.”
“Well now you will be dead!” He got up and charged me with a knife, I tripped him then picked him up putting my gun to his throat.
“Nopony move or I kill him!”
“Ha, you think you have won. Fool! I have explosives in you engine and boiler rooms, it will either sink your ship or leave it stranded.” He used his wings to turn on his portable radio. “Blow it up fellas!”
The ship rocked as two loud booms erupted one after another. A few seconds later we could feel the ship starting to sink.
“Abandon Ship!” Yelled Sand Trotter.
I took Blood Bird and jumped onto one of the pirate boats, the main one in fact, Sand Trotter and a few other thieves joined me on the boat. The rest of the thieves jumped on another boat. The pirates divided themselves amongst three of their boats.
The pirates began to follow us. One of the boats came close to ours. Blood Bird bucked by stomach knocking the wind out of me. He spread his wings and began to fly towards the closet pirate boat. Within a moment’s notice Sand Trotter grabbed a long ranged rifle that was left on the boat, took aim and fired. The shot hit Blood Bird dead on in the back of the skull. His lifeless body spiraled towards the ocean and crashed into the water.
“That was for Slippery Shank!” Yelled Sand Trotter.
Our smaller boat formed up on us as the pirates closed in. They opened fire on us. I hit the deck for safety. I was in the middle of getting up when something caught my eye. It was an rpg and an ammo crate. I picked it up and attached the explosive.

I stood and fired at one of their boats destroying it instantly. Sand Trotter used the rifle to pick of the individual survivors. I reloaded and fired at the second boat, once again Sand Trotter picked of the survivors, and we did the same thing for the final boat.

All the pirates were dead and we were on our way.

“What next?” Asked Sand Trotter.

“Tell the other boat to match our course and speed, we are still going to Fillydelphia.” I reply.

“We have enough fuel but the food aboard will only last us about two days.”

“Then we best get going then.”

“Okay”

“Full speed ahead!”

I always wanted to say that.

To be continued……….

Author's Note

This is my first fic so go easy on me, but I will take constructive criticism.

Chapter 2: Mare Trouble

Chapter 2

Mare Trouble

Disclaimer: I still don’t own shit. Please support Wings of Equestria and like my youtube page under the same name. I mean the youtube page is my name bronywithakeyblade, Wings of Equestria is just the project.

We arrived in Fillydelphia with in a day of the pirate attack. We docked at a secret location and we were greeted by several ponies. One of them stepped forward, he was a young light blue pegasus with white hair and on his flank was a knife with white wings coming out of it.

“Greetings I am Wind Strider, I am a look out for the Fillydelphia Snake Way. We are one of the largest Snake Ways in Equestria. Say I thought there would be more of you, and I thought there would be a bigger ship, where is Slippery Shank?”

“There was a pirate attack.” I reply. “We were the only survivors.”

“I am sorry to hear that, come with me you fellas look like you can use a drink.”

Sand Trotter and I fallowed him closely. Sand Trotter was still holding on to that rifle from earlier.

“You really like that gun don’t you man?” I say to him.

“This is the gun that killed Blood Bird, the pirate who killed Slippery Shank, I take a liking to it.” He replies.

“Keep it, it looks good on you.”

We walked down the streets and a young mare approached us, well she approached me.

“Mist is that you?” She ask.

“Yes.” I reply reluctantly. She then proceeds to slap me with her hoof and trot away.

“What the fuck what that all about?” asked Wind Stider

“Lets just say me and some of the Mares of Fillydelphia have had some interesting times together.”

“How many mares?”

“Dude too much to count.”

“Shit man.”

“Yeah well you know me”.

Suddenly another mare came up and slapped me.

“Um didn’t that one just hit you?” Asked Wind Strider.

“Well um you see.” I try to explain

“What.”

“They are twins.”

“Shit you did her sister after you did her?”

“No”

“You cheated on both of them?”

“No, but I was seeing them at the same time.”

“Son of a bitch man two at once, how drunk were they?”

“They only had a few drinks, I didn’t need them to be drunk though.”

“Why?”

“A little something I call the Mist charm.”

“So they clearly did it with you because they wanted to.”

“Like all mares I meat.”

“Then why do they hate you?”

“Well imagine somepony shows you the best night you ever had and then leaves the next morning without saying good by.”

“Shit man.”

“You are a good looking stallion I’m sure you get plenty of mares.”

“No not really, I kinda just want one.”

“Anypony in particular?”

“Well I have my eyes on this one mare at the safe house, but she is out of my league.”

“Say no more man, I’ll be glad to help you with her.”

“Thanks man, but what’s the catch?”
“Buy me a drink.”

“It’s a deal.”

We reached the safe house and entered. Wind Strider took us to the bar where he bought us drinks.

“So where is she?” I ask.

“There.” He said as he pointed a hoof towards a pink pegasus, her main was a light blue with some blonde detail, her mark was a knife with a rose crossed over it.

“What’s her name?”

“Thorn Dancer, but most call her Thorn.”

“You have a good eye my friend, okay here is what we do…”

I whispered my plan into his ear and then we got up.

“Okay let’s do this.” I exclaim.

“Thanks man.” He replies.

“No problem.”

I walk up to Thorn stumbling and pretending to be drunk.

“Hey baby.” I say with a slur. “You know I am amazing at picking locks.”

“Are you know?” she replies.

“Yeah, the secret is huge picks. Wanna see them?”

“No thanks I’m good.”

“Oh come on. Come with me and I can pick your lock all night.”

“Piss off!”

“Hey!” Scolds Wind Strider. “Is this ass giving you trouble”

“No trouble here man, I’m just looking through the pickings.”

“Leave her alone. You have had too much to drink.”

“Yeah what the fuck you going to do about?” I push him away.

“Okay you know what fuck you man, I didn’t wanna have to do this but you made me pissed.”
“Okay stop it you idots.” Interrupts Thorn.

“No babe your mine.” I snap.

“I know what you are trying to do, you are really friends and you are pretending to be a jerk so your friend can pretend to fight you so he can defend me and impress me.”

“Now where do you get that idea ya crazy bitch?”

“Mist give it a rest man, face it your brilliant plan didn’t work.” Said Wind Stider.

“Fuck.”

“I can’t believe you actually staged an entire show just so Wind Strider can get with.”

“Yes” the two of us said with shame.

“This is perhaps the most complicated, and over thought out plan that anypony has used to get with me. And I think that’s pretty damn cool.”

“What?” Asked Wind Stider.

“Well by going with this hair brained due to fail scheme.”

“Hey!” I interrupt. “That plan was fucking genius!”

“Sure it was.” She replies sarcastically. “Anyways going along with this stupid plan shows you are willing to do anything to get with me and I find that amazing. I like determination in a stallion.”

“Cool. Hey how about I buy you a drink?” Asks Wind Strider.

“Okay sure a drink sounds nice.”

The two walked to the bar and began to talk. Sand Trotter approaches me as I watch them.

“Nice plan idiot.” Joked Sand Trotter.

“It was supposed to fail.” I explain.

“What do you mean.”

“I knew she would see through our little performance.”

“How?”

“Look at her, she stands ready looks like a pony who doesn’t let shit get by, she also looks like she can hold her and therefore she wants a stallion who can do the same. Now this fool is no tough guy he is far too nice. But I was able to force him into a position where he seems determined to do anything to get with her even if he makes a fool out of himself.”
“So he is desperate?”

“That’s one way to put it, but I say he is determined.”

“What’s the difference”

“If he were desperate he would go in himself without help, without thinking. Being involved in a plan shows he is willing to ask for help and it shows that he knows his place. He knows his flaws and seeks to improve them by asking for help. She sees this as a sign of determination and will to do what ever it takes to be perfect for her.”

“Dude you should quit thieving a make a book on picking up mares.”

“Nah, I think I will just stick to thieving.

“Ha okay then.”

We sat down at the bar and ordered some food drinks. A Large unicorn walked up behind us.

“Hello boys how are you enjoying your stay.” He said

“It’s great” We reply.

“Good, oh now where are my manors, I am Vault Cracker. I run this safe house.”

We turn to see a grey unicorn with a red mane and a black key with a skull on the end for his mark.

“Nice establishment you got here.” Claims Sand Trotter.

“Thanks I try my best.” Replied Vault Cracker. “ And I am sorry about Slippery Shank, he was a great stallion.”

“Don’t worry, I put an end to that bastard pirate.”

“And I take it that’s the rifle you used ?”

“What makes you say that?”

“The way you look at it, when you look at it you have a look of revenge in your eyes.”

“I guess I do, this is in fact the gun that killed Blood Bird, I named her Pirate Popper because I used her to pop a hole in a pirate’s skull.”

“So Mist word is you helped Thorn and Wind Strider hook up?”

“That’s true.” I say after taking a bite of my food.

“You did good, I was worrying about that boy and Thorn needs somepony in her life.”
“Why is that?”

“Well Wind Strider has always had trouble making friend and he I just now starting to come out of his shell, as for Thorn well she has had a very ruff past. She needs somepony to be with to help her forget the stuff that happened to her.”

“Rough past hey? I know a thing or two about those.”

“Perhaps you need somepony?”

“I get plenty of mares.”

“I don’t mean one night stands I mean somepony you can actually be with long term.”

“I don’t need a mare to help me forget my troubles, that’s what beer is for.”

“Mist when was the last time you were hugged?”

“What the fuck kinda question is that?”

“You know hugged, a physical display of affection, and no your one night stands don’t count.”

“In that case I guess the last time was with my mother, when we were slaves I would get scared as a foal and she would hug me.”

A small tear formed on my cheek.

“Are you crying man?” Asked Sand Trooter.

“Nah man this food is just very spicy.”

We looked over at Wind Strider and Thorn who have had a few drink. The two got close to each other and began to grope each other.

“Get a fucking room!” Yelled Sand Trotter.

“Okay we will!” Yelled Thorn. The two got up and walked out of the bar in the direction of the bedrooms.

“Wind Strider you dog you!” I scream out.
Sand Trotter and I were now very drunk and we decide to have a little drinking contest. Sand trotter had four more bottles before passing out. I was able to down six more and I passed out as well.

The next morning I awoke with a hangover, no nightmares I was to drunk. Empty bottles lined the floor. It only took me a moment to realize I was still at the bar with Sand Trotter.

“Man my head fucking hurts, how much did we drink last night” I ask Sand Trotter. Sand Trotter doesn’t reply. Instead he lets out a faint moan.

“Morning ass holes, sleep well?” Said Vault Cracker.

“We were fine” I reply. “ I wanna know how Wind Strider slept.” Just then Wind Strider came out from a door.

“Sup.” He said with a smile.

“So how was it?” I asked.

“How was what” He replies.

“You know.”

“No I don’t.”

“Oh come on didn’t you and Thorn, well you know.”

“No man we just talked and slept together.”

“Booooooo!”

“Just kidding dude we totally did it and it was amazing.”

“Where is she now?”

“Still asleep, she is tired. I gave her one heck of a night.”

“Ha nice.”

We spent the next few hours cleaning up our mess and talking. It took us a while to clean all the broken glass but it was done. Vault Cracker approached us.

“I see you idiots have cleaned up your mess.”

“Happy to help” I reply jokingly.

“Anyway Mist I got a job if you want it.”

“What’ the job?”

“The Fillydelphia mafia has been hard on thieves lately, brake into one of their hide outs and steal anything of value, what you take is yours. The mob needs to be reminded that us thieves are not to be messed with.”

“Okay I’ll do it.”
“Good, you start tonight.”

“Ok”

“And Mist, if you feel like killing some mobsters be my guest.”

“You know it.”

Later that night I began the job. I toke a motor cycle to the hide out. I was able to get in through a back entrance. A guard stood at the end of a hall way facing away from me, I snuck behind him and slit his throat. I made my way underground to the safe. It was a large safe and would be hard to open. I got it open in under a minute.

The door swung open and a large room full of many valuables was revealed to me. I got to work immediately grabbing what I can. Gold, bits, gems, and many other expensive items were there for the picking. My joy was cut short however when a guard came in the vault.

“Freeze thief and drop what you have stolen!” he said pointing his machine gun at me.

“No thank you.” I reply as I quickly grab my revolver and shoot killing him instantly.

“Over here!” yelled a voice. Shit more guards were coming. I ran out of the vault shooting when I can. I eventually made it to my motor cycle and drove. I looked behind me to see to mob cars fallowing me, each with a drive and a passenger holding a machine gun. I drove through several back ally ways in an attempt to lose them but they were still on me firing like crazy. I drive out onto a main street, it seemed to be empty. The cars still followed but that was the least of my worries, I look up to see a helicopter flying over me. It was owned by the mob. The helicopter opened fire and I began to swerve to avoid the bullets.

I found my way to a parking garage where I drove to the top level with the mob hot on my tail. Once at the top level I sped towards the ledge of the structure. Before I got there the helicopter cut me off hovering by the ledge. I knew and wanted this to happen. The helicopter opened fire. I quickly turned my motor cycle avoiding in. The mob car behind me has hit by a barrage a machine gun fire killing both the driver and passenger. I then drive back down into the streets still with the chopper and one car behind me. The chase lasted about ten more minutes. I had to stop as my tires were blown out from machine gun fire. I abandoned the bike and ran into an abandoned building. The helicopter waited outside and the mobsters got out of the car and fallowed. I ran up the stairs all the way to the top floor. I was about to make the jump to another building when the helicopter cut me off. The two other mobsters came up behind me with their guns raised.

The helicopter landed and a black unicorn with a green mane stepped out with two others. On his flank was an image of a bag with a money symbol on it.

“Ah the legendary Mist” he said, “I have heard of you and you have probably heard of me.”
“No I haven’t.” I reply. “Let me guess I owe you money or something.”

“No you idiot, I am Unbalanced Check. I am in control of this division of the Fillydelphia Mob.”

“Still doesn’t ring a bell.”

“Dammit, okay you know what just fucking shoot him.”

The mobsters aimed at me and prepared to fire. I had no way out. No tricks up my sleeve. This was it.

“On my mark.” He yelled. “One, two, three……”

Suddenly the sound of a gun shot interrupted him as a bullet went through the head of one of the mobsters and into the head of another. I look in surprise to see a mare holding a gun. She was a Pegasus with near lavender fur and a beautiful black mane. On her flank was a cloud with a knife going through it. She charged the mob avoiding their fire and jumping in the helicopter, she killed the pilot with a knife and through his dead body out.

“Get in!” she yells in a loud but soothing voice. I run to the helicopter hopping in as she take off.

“You can fly this thing?” I ask.

“Of course, if not we would both be dead!” She flies us away from the building in the direction of the safe house.

“Thank you whoever you are.” I say to her

“The names Cloud Walker.” She replies.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, my name is…”

“Mist, yeah I know. I’ve heard about you.”

“Anyways thanks for saving my ass back there, I thought I was a goner.”

“Well I was running a job in this area of town and I saw you getting chased so I figured you needed help.”

We landed at a disclosed location and made our way to the safe house from there. We sat at the bar.

“So Cloud Walker what do you like to drink?” I ask her.

“Just some rum will be fine.” She replies.

“Hey bartender one rum and one Pegasus Feather f22.” I put down a few bits and moment later we receive our drinks.

“You didn’t have to buy me a drink.”

“You saved my life, it is the least I can do.”

“Ha, ok then” We drank I talked for most of the night. We got to know each other and told a few jokes that weren’t really funny, but we were drunk so you can’t blame us. Soon one thing lead to the other and we found ourselves in a bedroom together.

“Are you sure you wanna do this?” I ask her.

“Yes.” She replies. We only had a few drinks and we weren’t totally wasted, we both actually wanted this and the drinks had nothing to do with it. I go and lock the door as she lies on the bed waiting. Then I go to her and we begin. That night we did it, and whole time I couldn’t break eye contact with her. Her amazing purple eyes were a sight to behold.

The next morning I awake next to her. Usually this would be the point I leave like with most mares, but this one was different. I didn’t feel the urge to leave I felt the urge to stay. What was it about this mare that made me wanna stay. No it wasn’t the sex, it was something else but what? I choose to ignore it and wrap my hooves around her. I soon feel back asleep.

I wake up later to see she is no longer next to me. I panic but I don’t know why. Has she left me like I have left many other mares? Is this what I get for doing that? I was soon calmed when she approached me.

“Hey there lazy bum!” She says to me.

“Good morning to you to.” I reply getting out of bed.

“Last night was amazing.”

“I know I was.”

“Oh haha.” She leans over and kisses me on the cheek.

We walk into the main room where we are greeted by Vault Cracker.

“Ah if it isn’t the new couple” He said jokingly.

“Hi Vault Cracker.” I reply

“You two both have amazing skill, I think you would make great partners.”

“I guess we would.”

“Anyway I got a job for you guys.”

“What is it?”

“That heist last night really pissed of the mob but now it is time to tie up the loose ends.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Unbalanced Check, he needs to die.”

“We are thieves not hit ponies.”
“You won’t be doing this alone, I’m teaming you up with Wind Strider, Thorn, and Sand Trotter. You will find him, kill him, and get out. Mist you will lead the team.”

“Okay.”

“The team is prepping in the basement, you move out tonight.”

“Okay.”

We go down stairs to see the team talking about the plan. We discussed how he was hiding in a beach house along the cost, we made a plan to infiltrate, waited till night fall and set off.

We drove in a jeep for most of the way but stopped and hid the vehicle behind some rocks, we continued on hoof. After a while we got sight of the house, it was 3 stories but it had a basement entrance as well, two guards stood on the 2nd level balcony.

“Sand Trotter.” I whisper “Stay here and provide sniper cover if needed, ill buzz you if you are.”

“Okay.” He replies.

“The rest of you are on me. We enter through the basement.”

We snuck over to the basement entrance and I picked the lock. We made our way into the basement to see several crates and boxes stacked up. It was a large basement but only four guards were stationed there. We used the boxes for cover an pulled out our guns, each one of us picked a target.

“Silencers on” I say. “Fire on my mark, 3, 2, 1. Fire.” Simultaneously we fired our guns. The four shots sounded like one muffled shot hitting each target at the exact same time, penetrating their skulls. They all fell dead.

We made haste to move up to the first floor. Three guards stood in this area and a fourth at the first floor entrance. We were unable to get clear site on them all. We ended up doing a run and gun. They were all killed and no alarm was raised.

We went to the second floor to see three guards inside, and the two guards from outside on the balcony. I turn on the radio.

“Now Sand Trotter”

“Roger” He replies over the radio. About 3 seconds later a gunshot is heard and a bullet goes through the skull of one of the balcony guards and into the other killing them both. The three guards ran out onto the balcony searching for Sand Trotter. Thorn, Wind Strider, and I stood from cover and shot them in the back of their heads. No doubt these gun shots were heard.

Two guards come running down the stairs from the third story. We quickly dispatched of them. Cloud Walker gave one a bullet to the head and I gave the other two to the chest. We ran up the stairs and kicked down the door engaging in a firefight with Blank Check and his remaining guards. Using various furniture as cover we killed the reaming guards. One of them was shot in the chest and struggling to get up. I put him out of his misery. We walked towards an injured Blank Check who had taken a bullet to his left shoulder. We aim our guns at him.

“Come on, we can work this out. I can give you good money if you let me live” He said in a panic.
“Already stolen it” I reply

“I can make your troubles with the mob disappear”

“The mob has rejected you, you failed them”

“Well perhaps I could tell you some secrets.”

“What secrets do you have to offer?”

“Well I know off a secret stash by a cemetery”

“Found that one last week” States Cloud Walker.

“Well what about the one in the old factory by the..”

“Lake.” Interrupts Thorn.

“Well I can always, no that was stolen by a hobo.”

“Enough, you talk too much!”

“Well there is one more thing.”

“What?”

“Will you let me live out of the kindness in your heart.”

“Shut up.” I fire my gun and the bullet flies between his eyes and out the back of his head. His body flips and crashes to the ground. It lay stiff, life less, and bleeding.

As we exit to the first floor I turn to Cloud Walker.

“Do you have the bottle?”

“Yes” she replies.

She reaches into her saddle bag and pulls out a bottle full of various chemicals. She lights a fuse sticking out of the bottle a tosses it towards the house as we walk away. The bottle breaks and explodes. The house catches on fire and burns slowly to the ground as we walk into the night.

When we got back to the safe house we were praised and drinks were given all around. I sat next to Cloud Walker drinking and chatting with her.

“You really kicked ass back there” she says to me.

“You weren’t so bad yourself” I reply

“Not so bad, is that all I was?”

“Okay fine you were awesome, not as awesome as me though”

“Shut up.”

“Make me.”
She leans over and kisses me on the lips

“How’s that”

“Okay, that will work”

Vault Cracker walks up next to us.

“Hey there.” He says.

“Hello” I reply.

“I just want to say job well done, the death of Blank Check is going to make things a lot easier. The five of you make quite a team.”

“Thanks”

“That’s why I’m thinking you should work together in the future, your team demonstrated great skill and you showed amazing leader ship abilities.”

“Well, you know me.”

“Anyways if you form this team into a full time team you will be given harder and more rewarding jobs.”

“Like what?”

“Large scale heist, prison breaks, smash and grabs, and assassination missions.”

“Sounds interesting”

“Are you in, the rest of the team is willing.”

“I don’t know, Cloud Walker what do you think?”

“I’m in if you’re in.” She replies

“In that case I’m in.”

“Ha excellent!” Exclaims Vault Cracker.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“I just know you’re gonna kick ass.”

Later that night we retired to our rooms, Cloud Walker and I shared a room again but we were both too tired to do anything. I still can’t put my hoof on what’s so special about her.

To be continued…

Author's Note

well this one took a while, no i will not be turning this into a clop fic, there will moments where characters do that kind of thing but i will not go into any detail what so ever, trying to keep it pg-13. or somer where between pg-13 and R. is that a thing, like pg-13.5, yeah lets call it that, this fic is pg-13.5