An Azure Future: Moving On

Chapters

Getting Out There
Checking In: Fifty Shades of Grey Crusader
The Treachery Of Speed Dating
Yosemite pt. 1
Yosemite pt. 2
A fork in the road
Happy April Fools Day Azure!
Why are you still here?
April Fools Day: Azure's Revenge.

Getting Out There

Chapter 1
Getting Out There

“Hey, Azure, wanna play a game?!” It was Saturday in the penthouse John and his son Azure lived in. It had been a month and a half since John drank the ponification serum. He had yet to come up with a proper pony name.

"What kind of game?" Azure asked.

John beamed, "The best kind of course! Hide and seek!"

"Hide and seek? Why would we play that with only the two of us?"

"Oh, we won't be hiding and seeking each other. Don't be silly." John gave Azure a dismissive wave with his hoof.

"Then who would be hiding?" John's knack for illogical antics seemed boundless at times.

"Not WHO, Azure, but WHAT." John now wore a devious grin.

"Okay. I give. What the hay are we doing." His son conceded.

"We're gonna play 'Find Daddy's Cigarettes'!" There was a bright smile upon his mahogany muzzle.

Blue hoof met blue face. "First off, that doesn’t even sound like a game. It sounds boring and stupid. Second, why in Luna's name are we trying to find your cigarettes? You became a pony and cured your addiction. You don’t need to smoke.”

“Oh, I’m not going to SMOKE them, we’re going to throw them out!”

“But... why?”

“Because I said so.” John stated.

“No, why find them at all if you aren’t going to smoke ‘em?”

It was bartering time. “I’ll give you ten bits a pack.”

“Fifteen.” Azure was game.

“Nine.”

“Thirteen.”

“Seven a piece or I half your allowance this week.” John issued his ultimatum.

There was no winning a barter against John. Azure was just his newest victim. “Fine.” He conceded, defeated.

“Great! Now I hit up all the usual spots, but have only about eighty percent accounted for. Thats about five cartons. They are probably up high.” John briefed.

The search began. Azure was taking the first floor and John the second. Drawers were thrown open, boxes were tossed about, and various knick-knacks were shuffled through. It was Azure that had the first and second success. “Got two here!” He exclaimed when he moved the cereal boxes revealing the red and white boxes. John found the third box under the foot of his mattress, partially crushed. The fourth one was also found by John under some bits in the vault. The race was on for the final carton.

Azure was the one who celebrated finding the last box. He was rummaging through the library when he was trying to move one book and five more came along. Opening the cover of one of the end books revealed a carton. “Got the last one!” He bellowed. John grasped the two cartons he found and placed them in a bag with the other twenty. Trotting downstairs, he tossed the bag into the middle of the floor. Azure placed his three into the bag, which was now overflowing despite its large size.

“Now to get rid of these foul things.” John grabbed the bag, flew over to the nearest window and tossed them out of it.

Moments later there a scream from below, “My leg!”

“Sorry!” He called down, apologizing. “So you found three cartons that’s thirty packs which comes to two hundred and ten bits.” I should secure another business venture. He thought as he led Azure to his prize. Eh, If I don’t find one, Azure or his foals will. He opened the vault with the voice command and retrieved the two hundred and ten bits. “Hey, I got an idea!”

“Whats that dad?”

“How about we go to Grindah’s bakery to celebrate?” He offered.

Azure considered it for a moment, “Sounds good.”

*********************************************

The two pegasi walked into the bakery. They were immediately greeted by John’s cream coated earth pony friend. “Hey John! Whats up?!”

“Not much. Just thought I’d stop by for a bite.” He shrugged.

“So what’ll it be?” Grindah asked.

“I’ll take a cherrychonga.” John ordered.

“Its called a chimicherry.” The baker corrected.

“Whatever. Just get me one.” John rolled his eyes.

“I’ll have a chocolate twist please!” Azure exclaimed, placing his order. Cream Baker, better known to John as Grindah, retrieved the pastries ordered.

“That’ll be eleven bits!” He ringed them out. John retrieved the proper amount from a coin bag under wing. The coin bag had a string to go around his neck for when he was flying, it was just much more accessible under his wing.

“Hey John, remember that one thing you promised me that one time back when I got converted and you were half drunk?" The baker asked wearing a mischievous smile.

“No.” John paused before taking a bite of his chimicherry. Just what promise could he have made?

Grindah looked like he just moved a pawn into position for a checkmate. “It was when you were drinking heavy because Catherine left. I came over. Said I’d help you find another. Ring any bells? To which YOU said ‘If I become a pony, you can hook me up.’ Then you went to bathroom and never came out.”

John was in stunned silence. He finally managed a “What.”

“Well ya did. I sure hope you’re ready, I got ya set up for a date innn...” He searched around for clock, once he located one he continued, “About an hour and a half. At six o’ clock.”

“What.” Was all John could say. Azure was too busy choking on his donut to laugh.

“You’ll like her, she’s a good mare. Anyways, its here at six o’ clock, don’t be late. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to attend to the kitchen.” The earth pony turned and trotted through a door behind the counter.

“What.”

Azure finally managed to get the chunk of pastry down his throat. “Oh my Luna.” He laughed, still coughing. He hit his chest with his hoof a few times to restart his heart which had given out from all hilarity of the situation.

“What.”

Azure shook his head. “C’mon dad, lets get you ready.”

“What.” Apparently his father was broken and in need of towing back home for proper repairs.

Azure sighed, then bit John’s tail and started the arduous process of dragging his father home.

***********************************************

“What.” Azure’s dad was still broken. How did one fix things that were broken? He had seen John do it with a peculiar application of a wrench before. That should work.

Azure trotted to kitchen and retrieved the monkey wrench from underneath the sink. Now just position it right and... Azure dealt John a blow to the back of the head, sending John sprawling.

“What the hell?!” Was his first sentence in a good long while.

“Welcome back.”
“Why the fuck did you hit me with a WRENCH?!”

Azure wore a confused look, “That’s how I saw you fix the toaster two days ago. I thought it was just how you fixed things.”

John looked as if he was suffering an aneurysm for a split second. He managed to regain control, “Whatever. So what happened?”

“You have a date at the bakery innn...” Azure located a clock, “thirty two minutes.”

“Wait, what? Since when?” John desperately tried to piece together how he had a date, and more importantly, how he had forgotten.

“Since now.” Azure answered.

“But-”

“No buts! You are going on a date, and that’s FINAL!” Azure stomped a hoof for emphasis.

“But-”

“Butts are for pooping.”

“Fine. Whatever.” John dismissed. “I just haven’t been on a date in almost nine years, what could go wrong?”

“Do you need some dating advice?” Azure smirked.

“What would you know about dating?” The way John said it, it sounded closer to an accusation than a query.

“I do have a fillyfriend.” Check. John’s move.

“Ha! She made all the moves, you did nothing!” Checkmate. John won.

“I... I helped!” Azure tried pathetically.

“You know?” John chuckled. “Entertain me.”

“Well you need to be nice to her no matter what. Remember to make eye contact at all times. Compliment her too. Never talk about yourself. Uhhh... That’s all I got.”

“Well... I’ll be going then.” John slung the bits around his neck for travel and flew out the nearest exit. It was a short flight, and John arrived about fifteen minutes early at the bakery. He removed the bag and tucked it back under his wing. Might as well wait inside...

“Hey buddy, I’m almost surprised you showed!” Grindah beamed. “Take a seat, anywhere is okay, business is slow today.” He turned and trotted back into the kitchen.

“So who am I meeting?”

“Mare I knew from college, Strawberry Jam.” Grindah called from the kitchen.

That name seemed really familiar to John, though he couldn’t quite place his hoof on it. He chose a booth in the corner and sat down. John just looked around and waited. What else was there to do?

After a few minutes, John heard the door swing open. It was Strawberry Jam, it had to be. Her coat was a deep red and her mane a shade of purple John was finding very lovely for a pony. His coin bag dropped. Too lovely. Shit. John prayed she wouldn’t notice.

“Well, you seem excited to see me.” She giggled.

Well fuck. “Uhhh, yeah I guess.” He shied, blushing deeply.

She sat across from him. “So, my name is Strawberry Jam, whats yours?”

“John Norris.” He answered. This seemed to be the wrong answer as it caused her to frown.

“A human name?” She seemed to spit the word human.

“I’ve... been recently converted. I haven’t come up with one yet.” Something seemed to click in the mare.

“Wait! Are you... the Grand Knight who helped with the IHSA on the east coast?” She whispered across the table.

John suddenly seemed to remember where he heard of Strawberry Jam. She was the one who was in charge of keeping PER’s image clean. She approved the propaganda, the posters, the flyers, and was the pony in charge of the doorknockers. She was one of the nine. Oh fuck.

“You are, aren’t you?” She leered.

“Uhhh... yeah. I guess.” John shifted uncomfortably. Where is she going with this?

“Well, it sure is a pleasure to meet you! We wouldn’t have been able to perform our final crusade for a long time without you.” She beamed brightly, then leaned in close wearing a serous look. “You know, you’re something of a hero amongst our ranks.”

She’s very... animated. “All I did was drive a truck.” John was confused.

“And that service shaved weeks we didn’t have off! Celestia was, and is, getting very close. But now that we’re pretty much done and through, its going to be quite difficult to find us higher ranking ponies eh?” Her face flew flawlessly from one emotion to the next. This mare has ISSUES.

“Heh, so I guess we already know what each other does for living eh?” John put on a smile, hoping to change the subject with a joke.

“Heehee, yeah I guess so.” She smiled. “You’re pretty cute ya know? You have very... strong colors. Quite stallionly if you ask me.”

“Uh... thanks? It’s not like I chose them...” He saw his friend sneak up behind Strawberry. He was mouthing something, but John couldn’t decipher it. “Ya need something bro?” He quickly ducked off to attend to some new customers with convenient timing. “That was weird.”

“Oh, never mind him.” She shot a glare at the bakery owner. She turned back to John. “So whats you’re favorite color?”

“Uhhh...” The question caught John off balance. “Slate Grey?” It came off more as he were asking the question, or he were a participant in an old game show.

The conversation seemed to die. Strawberry, however, still seemed intent to make eye contact. It was quite the unnerving situation. John desperately scrambled for something to break her soul stealing stare. Paying her a compliment couldn’t hurt. “Uhhh...” He searched for something. “You have lovely fetlocks.”

“You think my fetlocks... are lovely?” She puzzled.

Why did I say fetlocks?! I could have complimented her coat, or her eyes, or her taught body... John’s wings sprung up again at the thought of getting that nice shapely mare alone. Well fuck. It didn’t help that his predicament seemed to be funny, as she started giggling, holding a hoof to her muzzle. “Well, if you insist.”

Then John’s savior came in the form Cream Baker. “So what can I get you both?”

“I’ll take a Dandelion Croissants.” She ordered immediately.

“Excellent. How about you John?” Grindah asked, pulling out his pen and paper form his apron.

“Just bring me a blueberry muffin.”

The baker scribbled John’s order down. “I’ll have that right back out in about three minutes.” John managed to regain control of his wings and folded them back at his side.

“Sorry about that, I’m still pretty new to the whole hooves and oats thing.” He apologized.

“Oh, its quite alright, I know it takes a while to gain total control.” She waved dismissively with a hoof. “Especially when it comes to... newfound attractions.” She flowed flawlessly into a sultry tone. John fought to keep his wings at his side. “Heehee.” She giggled, taking notice at John’s struggle.

“So, how do you know Grindah?” John asked, after managing to subdue his wings.

“We were friends in middle school and elementary. We just managed to keep in contact.” She shrugged.

“Huh. So, any family?”

“Yes, my mom, dad, and little sister are all in Equestria.”

“Huh, so-” John started before she cut him off.

“Please. You should know why I stayed behind.” Strawberry deadpanned.

“Afight, ges ya food ‘ere!” Cream Baker said around the tray in his mouth. He sat the tray down on the table and removed the two dishes from it. One had a rather large muffin, the other had a half dozen sizable Croissants. “Anything else?” He asked.

“No, I’m good.” John replied.

“No thank you.” Confirmed Strawberry.

“Well, holler if you need something.” The baker said before turning away to return to his kitchen.

“So when will you be moving to Equestria then?” She asked John as he took a bite from his muffin.

John chewed on the question and his muffin. He hadn’t given it much thought. The question had come up a time or two when he was still with Catherine, though he had merely given dismissive answers. “I... I don’t know. Whenever I suppose.”

This did not seem to be the answer that his date was looking for, made obvious by her expression. “Uhhh, I guess whenever I have to?” He offered, then continued, elaborating on his answer. “I may be a pony now but this is my home. I intend on staying here as long as possible.”

She rolled her eyes ever so slightly, “I can understand that.” Fortunately, it was a movement John missed, as he had started on his muffin again. The subtle annoyance in her tone was also lost on John.

John packed the muffin away with haste, making quite a spectacle, or it would have been if there was more ponies around. He wiped the crumbs off his muzzle, “Sorry about that, I’m still not entirely used to how good some things taste now. Sometimes I have trouble with that.” He apologized, a bit sheepish.

Strawberry’s expression softened, “You missed a spot dear.” She motioned to a spot on her muzzle. John curiously swiped the area on his own muzzle, removing the last crumb. He also noticed Strawberry’s food was also gone. “Well I hate to eat and run, but I’m afraid I have to go now. I have some business to attend to.” She moved away from the table and walked out. John managed to keep his wings at his side this time, though it was no small feat.

After a brief moment of confusion at the abrupt ending, John was approached by his friend. “Huh. That was weird.” Baker commented.

“Yes. Yes it was.” John paid his friend, and flew home.

*******************************

Man, this is so much better than stairs. John thought as he landed on the balcony. He trotted into the penthouse and was immediately assaulted. “How’d-it-go? Did-ya-kiss? Are-you-going-on-a-second-date?” The words attacked John with brute force.

“Calm down boy-o. It was just a first date, don’t be expecting a baby sister or brother anytime soon.” John defused the situation best he could. A hyper colt was never a good thing.

“So what did happen?” Azure asked.

“We had dinner.” John shrugged.

“That all?” Azure seemed disappointed.

John shifted nervously, “I, uh, got a wingboner twice...” Azure burst out laughing. “Hey now, I ain't been with a mare in nine years!”

“Its still funny.” Azure giggled.

“Heh, I guess it kinda is.” John admitted. “Hey, how about we watch Lion King again?” John offered.

Azure smiled. “I’d like that.”

________________________________AUTHORS NOTES:

Took longer than I’d care to admit, But its finally up.

So tell me what ya think then eh?

Checking In: Fifty Shades of Grey Crusader

An Azure Future: Moving On: Checking In: Fifty Shades of Grey Crusader

Meanwhile, In another all too close reality...

Aero Spike woke up feeling groggy and rolled off the couch and onto the floor. She had one hell of a night last night, not that she could remember much of it. Something with kidnapping, dressclubs and a fire or something. "What time is it?" she absently asked ceiling.

"It is twelve fifty three in the afternoon." A melodious mechanical male voice responded.

"Wait, twelve fifty three?!" She shot up, fully alert. "Is Azure still here?"

"Azure left upon seeing he could not wake you from your drunken stupor."

"Oh. Well then. Iii guess I got the rest of the day off."

"It would appear so, if I may, I would suggest you actually leave the household today. It has been over a week since you've last done so. I can pull up studies on the negative effects of staying indoors too long."

She remembered why she turned the thing off in the first place. "Fiiine, I guess I'll go... places. Or something. I'll figure it out on the way." Aero turned to face the window and jumped out. She landed gracefully, flapping her wings once to break her fall inches from the the ground.

Areo looked at her familiar surroundings and began trotting down the street. Eventually she came across a small shop, curiosity piqued and she went in. Immediately, she saw the one pony that she only ever hoped to see just so she could kick his ass. "Greeeey!" she cried at the very surpised unicorn before proceeding to buck him into the wall, breaking a shelf and several large snowglobes. The shop owner looked up from his newspaper with a quizzical expression.

"What was that for?!" Grey shouted while nursing his muzzle.

"You know damn well what that's for!" Aero bellowed as hard she could.

"Is that..." Grey trailed off, examining Aero intensively. "John, is that you?"

"YES IT'S ME!" She belted, growing even more infuriated by the second.

"Why are you a mare?" He asked shrinking away from the mare that was looming over him.

"What do you mean 'why am I a mare?'! You gave me the potion!"

"Wait, that was r-63 serum? I grabbed it from the standard pile. Somepony must have accidentally misplaced it there." Grey puzzled, appearing to be in deep thought for a moment. The shopkeeper gave another glance to the pair, before turning the page of his newspaper and reimersing himself in it. "Well could of been worse," He shrugged "it might have been orange potion."

"Grey! Don't even JOKE about that." Aero gapsed.

"Yeah, that was kinda tasteless, sorry." Grey apologized. "Look, I'm sorry about the whole turn-you-into a mare Jo- Aero." He corrected, "How about we go get lunch to make up for it?"

Aero felt... something... stir within her. Probably hunger. "Sure, but first, you should pay for the damages you caused to this nice pony's shop." She glared, causing Grey to balk. Grey begrudgingly removed a sack of bits from his saddle bags and hoofed over a sizable amount, almost emptying the bag. "Great!" She beamed, "Now c'mon, I know this excellent little resturant just down the way..."

-_-_-_-

"So," Aero swallowed a mouthful of her salad, "Keepin' busy since team rocket disbanded Mr. Giovanni?" The resturant boasted thrity one flavors of lettuce. It was an exquisite eatery despite being rather low key.

"What?" Grey puzzled the reference lost on him.

"Now that your... Organization is disbanded," She rephrased, "What are you doing?"

"Oh, that. Well, there's still a few..." Grey waved his hoof in a circle motion as he searched for the right word, "stragglers, left about. Buisness isnt quite over."

"Issat so?" Aero Spike grumbled through a mouthful of food. The portrait of mareness.

"It is so." Grey responded. A moment or two passed in silence before either of them spoke again. "So," Grey started, reviving the conversation, "What was your conversion dream like?"

Aero's expression turned sour. "Oh. That. Well..."

-_-_-_-_-

John floated in the nothingness as time untold passed. Suddenly there was a loud pop sound announcing the arrival of a pink alicorn that John had never seen before.

"Let's see what we have here..." she murmured, materializing a clipboard with a spread sheet. "Brutalized buisness competition... Excessive Swearing... Yelled at homeless man for looking at you... Pretty full list of atrocities here girl." She read aloud, flipping through the pages.

"Wait a second," She blurted upon reaching the last page. Quickly she flipped to the front and then back again.

Then she started laughing. "Hold on. I'll be RIGHT back." The alicorn teleported away and John was alone once more.

Time passed unkept once more when there was three very loud and distinct pops as Celestia, Luna and Cadence all appeared.

"What's the issue Cadence?"

"Thee hast disturbed our bubble bath!" Luna added, slightly soapy.

"Sorry Auntie Loon, but I needed to show you this" Cadence apologized, then magicked the clipboard over to Luna and Celestia, giggling softly. The other two alicorns slowly read through the content.

"So, this is the one responsible for the heavy influx two weeks ago..." Celestia murmured.

"Thee hast taken the cherry formula?" Luna asked aloud, to none in particular.

"It would appear that good ol' Grey mixed up the potions..." Celestia giggled. "I think that punishment enough. What do you think sister?"

"'Tis plenty." Luna chortled.

"Oh yes, lets see how long he lasts..." Cadence beamed, failing to contain herself.

The laughter grew riotous and the dream ended.

-_-_-_-_-

"Well. That sounds... different." Grey noted.

"You aren't wondering their mention of you?" Aero puzzled. It isn't everyday somepony is in somepony's else conversion dream.

"Ha, it isnt the first time they mentioned me. Probably wont be the last either." Grey chuckled brazenly.

After a glance that went maybe a bit too long, Aero gave the clock a casually glance and siezed up when she saw the time. "Thanks-for-the-food-gotta-run-bye!" She blurted before bolting back home.

-_-_-_-_-

Touching down on the patio Aero slid the door open and trotted inside. She flapped up into the living room to land on the couch. "Welcome home ma'am." Albert greeted.

"Call me sir." She grumbled shifting, her position to be more comfortable.

"Yes ma'am."

Aero snorted then continued tossing about for a minute before settling on a comfortable position. Just as she began to doze off, the door slammed open. Standing in the entrance way was Azure.

"Hey dad." Azure tossed the old backpack off and onto the ground.

Aero groaned and sat up. "Hey son whats up. Get to school okay?"

"Yeah." He answered. "Oh! I got a permission slip for a field trip!" Azure started digging through the old backpack and pulled out a single sheet of paper with equestrian writing on it. Here!" He hoofed the permission slip over.

Aero stared at it for a long moment before speaking. "Azure."

"Yes dad?" He piqued, oblivious as to what was the issue.

"You know I can’t read Equestrian right?" Aero raised an eyebrow in question. Despite practicing the alien script for the past two weeks, she had yet to master it. Sighing, he asked, "So where is this trip to, when is it, and am I allowed to tag along?"

"Its next Friday and I'm sure you can come if you want! We're going to the Yellowstone National Forest. The teacher said it’s important to see the natural wonders of the world before equestria swallows it." Azure beamed. Aero could see that he wanted to go.

"Alright then." Aero grabbed a pen off one of the lower shelves of the bookcase and signed it. "Here ya go," She hoofed the slip over to Azure who promptly put it in the old backpack. "Now come help me with dinner, we're having casserole. Alfred! Fire up the stove!" Aero walked towards the kitchen, Azure following close behind.

-_-_-_-_-AUTHOR'S NOTES-_-_-_-_-

Yes this is a thing and it will continue to be a thing. Dont worry, It'll only be 3-4 chapters of material whereas I have a large number planned for the main body.

I've slowly been writing more and more each day. It's still a slow process but it IS happening.

Comments below mate.

Krass McWriter:
Lol penis

The Treachery Of Speed Dating

Moving On

The Treachery of Speed Dating.

The phone rang, echoing in the spacious living room. "Dad! Phone!" Azure shouted from the couch. His cartoons were on and damn if was getting up to answer. The phone rang again, its shrill cry filling the estate. "Dad!"

"I'ma comin', I'ma comin'!" The older pegasus answered. "Hold your horses, geez." He continued as he clip-clopped down the staircase.

John's choice of words made Azure giggle, "You'll go native yet dad." He said in between snickers.

"Oh hush, you." John stuck his tongue out at Azure as the phone rang once more. "And you can be quite too!" He glared at the phone before turning to face the ceiling and belting, "Al, phone!" The AI acknowledged the command and put the caller on the penthouse's speaker system.

"Heyyy, buddy!" A familiar voice, albeit with a slight metallic tinge to it, came through.

"Heya Cream. What th' hell do ya want?" John demanded as he flitted up to the cabinets and began to rifle through them.

"I signed ya up for a thing, so be at the Whinnying Winery and Restaurant in an hour and a half." Cream stated. Suddenly there was a rustling sound and a clatter of metal on metal then something that sounded a bit like the fwoosh a small gas explosion. "Uhhh... Hold on a tick." John heard the distinct sound of his friend running towards what had to be his kitchen, followed by some indistinct murmuring. Then came the yelling. "You did what?! I told you to stay out of the kitchen! Well this is the third time in two months this has happened! Just because-" His friend then shifted his tone to a much calmer one, dropping both sides of the conversation out of John's hearing.

A few moments later, he heard the sound of hooves approaching as Cream Baker returned. "Sorry 'bout that, kids y'know. Anyways, the Whinnying Winery in an hour aaand... twenty two minutes. I'll know if ya skip." And with that there was a click as the phone call ended.

"Well then, that was something." John was bit flabbergasted. "Al, see if'n you could find out exactly when and where this thing is."

"Right away sir." Albert responded with a brief pause before continuing. "It would seem to be an hour's flight from here sir. We suggest you leave promptly."

John flicked his ears and ruffled his wings a bit in annoyance. "What about car travel time mister computer?" He snided. John rolled from his seated position to hanging off the couch, belly up and head on the floor.

"Streets are showing congested foot traffic, I believe any ground based vehicle would be severely encumbered. And the name is Albert sir."

John grimaced at the retort, "Whatever, the roads 're built for cars. They will move or they shall become acquainted with the grill of my truck. Snarky machine."

Azure spoke up, breaking his silence. "I guess you can relapse into vehicular ponyslaughter too. Thats cool."

"It’s not murder if I have the right of way!" He argued. "Open the big glass door Al," he belted the old reference, rolling onto the floor. Standing up he cracked his neck left, then right. He stretched out his wings, curling and unfurling them a few times. Then he snapped his wings and bolted out the now open patio sliding door.

Azure rolled his eyes at his dad's departure, "This isn't going to end well..."

-_-_-_-_-

John's truck roared as it came around the corner, the pegasus inside hanging half out. He was yelling at pedestrians to get out of the way and that "The roads are still roads!" and other such things. After narrowly avoiding a collision with three foals wearing what seemed to be capes, the truck came to a stop in no less than three parking stalls. The door opened and John jumped to asphalt. Alright. Lets do this speed dating thing, he thought to himself before heading inside.

"Hi!" An extraordinarily over excited mare bounced next to him. "My name is Coalescence and I'll be helping you today! You're here for the speed dating right?"

"How did you know I was here for the speed dating?" John asked, curious as to how she was so accurate in her assumption.

"Oh, nothing really, you just have that slightly desperate and partly exasperated look that more than a few of the stallions who come here do. I can also tell that this isn't your idea either." Upon sensing his reaction she added, "I've been doing this for a while."

She led John to a spacious dining room, within which there were ten numbered tables were set up. "You're at table five," she pointed at the corresponding table with a hoof. "You're number is on the table, protip, it’s also five. When the bell tolls, that means rotate. You rotate to the next higher number." Coalescence sighed before continuing, "When you get to ten, you move to one. And yes, we've had issues with that." She glanced at the wall clock "We start in five." With that, she turned and cantered back to the front desk.

John looked around the surroundings as he moved to his table. Red velvet walls and diamond pattern wall paper on the ceiling. The carpet was low profile, yet it maintained a certain plushness. John thought it was weird how he could feel through the hooves, but he just dismissed it as overthinking it.

John pulled out the chair and sat at the table, there was lanyard with a number five on it and a card with other names on it. John placed the lanyard around his neck. He looked at the card, it had ten numbered section, an "interested" box to mark and a large blank space next to it. He quickly flipped it over just to make sure the other side didn't have anything on it then righted it.

John looked about again, waiting for the event to start. He saw Coalescence walk back from the desk with two more stallions and a mare in tow. "Alright, everypony's here, so we're going to begin now." She announced from the center of the room as the ponies who just came in took their respective seats.

A friendly looking mare with a white coat and black mane sat across from John. He was just barely able to catch sight of her cutie mark, the Tragedy and Comedy masks. "Hi, my name is Final Curtain! My special talent is acting! What's your name?" She beamed, John found her smile to have the same effect as the morning sun in his eyes after waking up.

"Uh, m' name’s John." He said half heartedly and partially murmuring.

"'John'?" Final Curtain cocked her head slightly in minor confusion. "Why don't you have a pony name?" She queried.

"Well, I guess I'm just sort of..." John paused to search for the correct word. "waiting? For my cutie mark that is."

"You mean you don't have a cutie mark? How long ago did you convert?" Final Curtain pressed, adjusting her body to lean forward across the table ever so slightly.

"A month and about a half now I guess." John answered, after doing some calculations in his head. Has it really been that long? Feels much longer. John pondered.

This seemed to perturb the mare. "A month and a half?" She repeated. "Were you like, HLF or something?" She whispered, leaning as much across the table as possible.

"Uhhh... no. Arent we entering, like, second date territory?" He defended, eyes shifting nervously.

"Well, why would you wait so long?" She pressed once more, making John rather uncomfortable. The first date and already a disaster.

"Well, thats personal, and to be fair you are being quite pushy." John decided to snip this in the bud and just end it. "I think we both know whether or not we're going to take this to a real date hm?" John smirked.

The expression Final Curtain wore was some queer mix between confusion, shock and anger. Her acting background only proved to over exaggerate this making look almost comical. "I see..." See murmured, just barely above a whisper.

John glanced at the wall clock, two minutes left. They seconds ticked by, a dry cough from John breaking their mutual silence with just under forty seconds left.

"Sorry." Final Curtain burst. "About being pushy, that is. I'm a terrible gossip by nature." She clarified.

"It's fine." John waved a hoof in dismissal. "Just, ya know, try not to drill personal matters. Its speed date, ya talk about your favorite color and coffee or tea, not whether you killed ponies or forced people to become them."

"Well I would still like t-" The bell tolled, signalling for a rotation.

"Well, it was interesting Miss Curtain." John got out of the chair and moved over to table six. He sized up the mare as he approached, She's pretty cute. Doesn't look crazy like the last one.

John sat across from the mare with a "6" around her neck. She had a deep purple coat. Her mane was a cross between peach and faded pink, the tips of which were an ashen grey. "Hi my name's John!" He beamed, extending a hoof.

"M' names' Napalm." She responded as she shook John's hoof. Her voice carried just the lightest of twangs. "Human name huh?"

"Uh, yeah. I'm waitin' for my cutie mark." John answered, his smile unwavering. "You're names Napalm?"

"Yeah, ah invented it Equestria side before E-Day. It's a lot harder coming up with a name for something with no basis, so ah just hacked the two chemical compound's names together." She explained.

"Well that's pretty cool." John nodded. "So tell me about yourself." John motioned towards Napalm with a hoof.

"A'ight." Napalm shrugged. "Born and raised on a potato farm on the outskirts of Idahorse. Ah grew up with two older sisters who constantly pulled pranks on me and a little brother who was in arms with me against them. Mah ma and pa owned a three hundred and thirty three acre farm. Pa always claimed that potatoes liked the number three." She summarized her childhood home and family.

John giggled a little at the final bit, "So what do you do anyways?" He queried, leaning slightly over the table.

"Well, lets hear about your childhood first." Napalm teased.

"Heh, where to start?" John puzzled aloud. "I was born 2020. My mother died in childbirth. My father was an Afghanistan veteran. He was a drinking man and not the kindest of people. I did well in school, had a small group of friends. No brothers or sisters, I was an only child." John stopped thinking over if he missed anything. "Well, yeah. Thats about it." He shrugged. "So, what do you do?"

Napalm gave John a sly look, questioning his bland story. She answered regardless, "I do what is called 'Controlled Hazard Burning' in the various wild forests throughout Equestria. Make sure any forest fires that start don't get too big as well as making sure they don't grow and what lives there, stays there." Napalm paused before continuing, "Trust me, you do not want what lives there running amok."

"That sounds... Incredibly dangerous." John furrowed his brow.

"Someponies gotta do it. 'Sides, its seasonal work and year round pay." She shrugged in response, then added, "Good pay to boot. Your turn then, what do you do for a living?"

"Well," John sighed, "I used to be businessman. Made an obscene amount of money. So Im kinda just be retired and collect on a debt owed."

"A debt owed?" Napalm inquired. "Who owes you that you were able to collect through the end of the world?"

"Celestia." He stated.

Had she been eating or drinking, she'd have choked. "Hee!" She squealed, drawing the attention of everyone else in the dining hall. "No WAY!" She excited like a schoolfilly, drawing her hooves to her barrel. "Tell me EVERYTHING." She demanded, slamming her hooves down on the table.

"What?" John asked, dumbfounded at the mare's excitement.

"Its a bit of a long story..." She trailed, "But the short version is we have a thing." She waved dismissively.

"Uh, well, we kinda did a business deal." John scratched behind his ear nervously. "You see, when Celestia got here, she needed some earth based cash, the bit to USD exchange rate didn’t exist quite yet. So while everybody was running about tryin' to figure out what to do about the new universe off the east coast-" The bell tolled for the second time, calling for rotation, "Well, I guess I'll give you a call later." John smiled as he left Napalm's table and headed for table seven.

"Talk to you later!" Napalm called.

There was a pegasus with teal coat and a deep red mane, the complimentary colors causing his eyes a bit of strain. "Hi, my name is John." He greeted as he sat down on the available chair.

“Hi, my name is Ocean Breeze,” the teal mare smiled, “Did a friend put ya up to this toooo?”

"Uh," John scratched behind his ear, caught unaware by the mare's accusation. Is it really that obvious this wasn’t my idea, he pondered, just a little self conscious. "Yeah, I guess so."

She giggled, “So, John, why don’t ya have a pony name?”

"I am three for three on that question," John rolled his eyes to the side in an expression of mock exasperation. "I think I'm gearing for a perfect score. I'm just waiting 'til I get my cutie mark to change my name is all." He continued smiling lightly.

“What do ya like to do? Surely that’ll help ya get your cutie mark, I know it helped me,” she stated, slightly grinning.

"Well, I used to be something of a businessman, but that was more of a means to an end. I just kinda look after my son now and hang out with somepony that is sorta becoming my best friend. You may have even heard of him, the PER leader.”

“The PER? I can’t stand those meanies. They make me angry! A-Anyways, before I go on any... undesired tangents, you said you had a son?” Ocean quickly covers up her stutter, a bit angry already.

John grew slightly worried at the mare's reaction. If she ever caught wind of what he'd done, it wouldn't be good. "Yeah, he probably saved my life. He's the reason I became a pony in the first." John chuckled a bit at the memories of his misadventure during those two and a half months. "It’s kind of a long story..." John trailed.

“Aw, he sounds sweet. How old is he?” She smiled, intent on hearing John’s answer.

"He just turned eight years old not too long ago." John replied with a slight shrug.

“Wow, eight years and already saving his father? Sounds like he’s gonna be famous when that colt’s older.” Ocean smiled, her red mane going in front of an eye. She blew it out of the way, awaiting an answer patiently.

"Well, it was more like he saved me from myself. I didn’t even know I had a son until he showed up at my doorstep." John reminisced, growing slightly distant as he lost himself in memories.

“I wish a foal would show up at my doorste--” The teal pegasus was cut off as the bell rung for the next table.

"Well, uh, it was nice meeting you." John said as he stood up from his seat. John considered checking interested but decided against it. She was nice, but not quite my type.

“You too, John.” She smiled, getting ready for the next stallion to come and sit at the table.

The next mare was quite a peculiar one indeed. She was a unicorn had a coat of various colors, and all in blotches. The coloration was also mismatched, giving her the look of a rag doll or a child attempting to dress themselves. Even her horn was multicolored, purple yellow and green. John also noticed that her card was both on the table and had every box already checked. The very moment John was anywhere near what could be called close to the table the mare beamed at John and bosteriously introduced herself, "Hi! My name is Patchwork, but my friends call me Patches!" The look on her face was deadly serious, though her tone was jovial.

"Uh, hi?" John offered, unsure as he took his seat. She seems even more mentally unstable then the last one...

"Or, well, they would call me Patches if I had any!" Patchwork beamed, completely ignoring John.

"Riiight. So, what is it that you do?" John decided to let it slide, and move on in the conversation.

"Oh, I'm a tailor." Patchwork answered, focused on her '8' badge and playing with it. John noticed that the lamination job had teeth marks, as if she had been chewing on it. There was a long moment of silence that lasted a few beats. "Wait!" Patchwork blurted suddenly, losing interest in her badge. "YOU never told me YOUR name!" She accused pointedly, jabbing both of her forehooves towards him.

“Um, M’names John.” He answered, growing a tad worried for the remaining four minutes.

"John?" She puzzle, looking quite perplexed. "But that's a human name!" she gasped. "Were you human?!"

“Uhm, yes. Are you a native equestrian?” John inquired.

“Oh, no, I’m human too,” She waved dismissively. “Or was at least. Some expired potion spilt on me and I ended up like this.” She motioned to herself. “Kinda mixed me up up here too though.” She continued, tapping her head with a hoof.

“Huh.” John said inquisitively. Potion is a fickle mistress. He noted, pondering upon this mare’s fate and those of the human remnants that had been forcibly converted. A silent moment passed before Patchwork spoke and revived the conversation.

“So, what do you like to do anyways?” She offered, grinning slightly nervously.

“Oh I love flying and reading a good book, going to my friends bakery, he makes killer muffins, hanging out with my son, and, uhm, I guess thats about it really.” John shrugged, making it a point to come up with a better answer for the future.

“Oh, thats neat. I like watching a good movie or making a quilt. I also love playing shuffleboard at the community center.” Patchwork beamed, pleased now that the conversation had started up again.

“Shuffleboard? Whats that?” John asked, cocking his head ever so slightly.

Patchwork immediately lit up, “Oh! Its a great game, theres this pyramid thing and you push a puck towards it with a stick thingy.”

“A stick thingy?” John inquired.

“Well, it does have a name, I don’t know what it is though. But yeah, you and your opponent take turns and you add up your points depending on where your pucks are. Its loads of fun.” She smiled, obviously happy that she could talk about her interests with someone for once.

“Sounds interesting.” John replied. He never had taken an overt interest in sports.

“Oh yeah, you have to try it some time.” Patchwork paused, “So you have a foal? Where’s his mother?”

John winced a little on the inside at the mention of Catherine. He opened his muzzle to reply and just then the bell tolled, signifying rotation. “Uhm, well, it was nice talking to you Miss Patchwork.”

“You too John!” Patchwork called, already absentmindedly chewing on her plastic badge.

Well, she was interesting. John thought as he moved to the next table. Approaching, he eyed the next mare. She had a dark pink coat, big blue eyes and a pale blond mane with pink highlights throughout it. John found her a bit attractive, and his attraction a bit odd. He sat at the available seat and introduced himself, “Hi, my name is John.”

“Hi John, my name is Strawberry Frosting.” She replied. “You still have your human name?” She asked before correcting herself, “Sorry, you probably get that alot.”

“Yeah, everypony has asked me that.” John shrugged, failing to catch his ponyism.

“Its just that it’s really uncommon to see that nowadays, not that I’m much of one to bash on someone’s human pride.” She adjusted in her seat a little. John had found it odd that the event utilized made-for-human chairs in place of Equestrian chairs or even traditional cushions. Not that there was much to do about it anyway.

“Well, its more of me waiting to get a cutie mark and base it off that than human pride, and do tell?” John asked, interested in what she had to say.

“Oh, well, I um, kinda used to be a guy in the HLF...” Strawberry trailed, obviously a bit embarrassed by this fact.

The gears in John’s head ground to a halt. “What?”

“Uhm, yeeeah...” There was a long silence, “That got awkward quick, didn’t it?” She smiled n weakly.

“Sure did.” John answered. The conversation stood dead in the water for what seemed like eons to the pair. The time ticked on slowly, painfully. One minutes passed, then two and then three ‘till John’s lungs itched and he let out a cough.

“So, um, it was nice meeting you I guess.” She offered.

“It was interesting all right.” John replied, the conversation dying once more. Finally, the bell tolled. “Oh thank Celestia.” John murmured as he got up and left. That was the worst five minutes of my week. John thought to himself as he moved to the tenth table.

John took his seat opposite the unicorn mare. She had a light green coat and a grey mane that was long even for mare. “Hi, I’m John.”

“Oh, a human name huh? You know I saw a human once, or at least I think I did, it may or may not have been that ‘Bigfoot’ creature I’ve heard about.” She motioned the parentheses around “Bigfoot”. “It was really hairy and grunted a lot. Oh! I’ve got a picture!” She started searching through her saddlebags with magic and pulled out an old polaroid picture. “Newfoals usually just change the subject or laugh, so its cool if you don’t know what it is.” She levitated the picture over to John.

John look at the picture and almost bust up laughing. It was a picture of Ron Jeremy. How she saw him in the woods was beyond him, but there it was. “Heh, I uh, think it’s best if that one remains unsolved.” John lightly giggled, “So, you’re a native then?”

“Oh yeah, I came to earth last month, wanted show all the newfoals and humans a proper equestrian magic show.” She beamed. “Buuut, of course I get here and then BAM, no more humans. Still plenty of newfoals though I guess. Still, I just wish I could've met a human when they were still human y’know?“

“Well, there are a few remnants, the Equestrian government says there’s about a thousand or so left.” John added.

“Well, yeah, but thats not really much of an audience. Also, I doubt I could even get any of them to go to my show, let alone pay for it.” She shrugged.

“Hmmm.” John nodded. “You know, I don’t think I caught your name.”

“Oh, silly me, I get carried away sometimes. My name is Coin Trick.” She extended her hoof, which John shook.

“Pleased to meet you Coin Trick. So you’re a magician?” John smiled. She’s a bit talky, but not in a bad way.

“Why, I’m one of the best!” She gave a look that John couldn’t decide whether it was ‘sultry’ or ‘sly’. “‘The Illustrious Coin Trick’! I’m pretty well known throughout Equestria, I even performed on Canterlot’s Trotway last year. It’s about equivalent to your Broadway in New York from what I hear. Only the greatest and up and coming magicians get to perform there!” Coin Trick beamed, stars in her eyes.

“Well that sounds like quite the experience.” There was a brief pause in the conversation, eager to keep it going John continued, “So what else do you do besides magic?”

“Oh a bit of this and that. I like drawing the landscapes and skylines of places I visit. It helps pass the time and is a great way to practice magical dexterity.” She

“Oh? I’d like to see those, you seem to travel a lot.” John stoked the conversation.

“Oh you have no idea, I’ve been from Tacksworn to Canterlot to Appleloosa and everywhere inbetween. Even did a performance for the guards stationed at Leota forest. I’ve even seen the field where the battle of order and chaos took place. That was some crazy horseapples.” Her eye’s glazed over a bit as she lost herself in the memories. She blinked several times, before continuing again. “Sorry, I really love the road. Its usually the only quiet time I have. Between setting up, rehearsals, the show itself and fans, I don’t have much time to just be on my own.”

“Well, you seem-” The bell tolled, signifying a rotation. “Um, Well, It was nice talking to you Coin Trick.” He said as he got up and moved all the way back to the first table.

“You too John!” She called as walked away.

As John sat down he noticed the mare across from him. She was a pegasus, pure white with wispy blue hair, her eyes a stunning hazel. She was dressed in a John felt his wings go stiff and he barely managed to contain them at his sides. “Hello darling.” She purred. The small bit of control John had was lost and his wings pomfed outwards. “Well, thats a bit uncouth don’t you think?” she frowned in disgust. “Sir, I ask that you remove yourself from my presence at once!”

“But-” John started, only to be immediately cut off.

“Immediately!” She reaffirmed, turning her nose up and effectively snubbing John. He winced slightly at the intensity with which it was said and the attention it drew. Slowly he removed himself from the seat and headed to the lobby.

Well, you’d think a pony’d be more understanding. I still trip once in a while when I forget how to walk. John pouted, grumpy that the last two dates in a row were a bust. Just my luck, first an ex-HLF trans and then a prude. John made himself comfortable on a couch. After a dull minute of just laying down (and getting his wings to calm down), he decided to turn his attention to the dining room and see how the other dates were going.

The prude who had insisted John had a mirror in one hoof and was brushing her coat with the other. John scoffed a bit at the sight and decided to see how Napalm was doing. She was across from an impressively large stallion, just a bit smaller than Celestia herself. He couldn’t make out what he was talking about but John figured it was how much he was lifting at the gym that morning from how bored Napalm looked and how he flexed when he talked.

Deciding that none of the others really piqued his interest, he decided to see the few mares that remained. A chocolate colored earth pony mare sat at table two. A pegasus with teal coat and vanilla mane who looked rather unkempt was at table three. She was facing away from him however and he couldn’t quite make out her face. The mare at table four almost looked familiar. I know I’ve seen you before. Her beach colors haunting at John’s memories. John resolved to just bring it up when he got to her. He searched for the nearest wall clock and figured there was only about a minute left. He rolled off the couch and stretched his legs, waiting for the bell to toll.

Once it did, John went to table two sat across from the chocolate colored mare. “Hello, my name is John Norris!”

“My name is Hazel Cocoa!” She smiled.

“Huh, you know, you’re the first one not to point out my name.” John noted.

“Really now? Most of the ponies here are newfoals. Odd that they’d call you out on it.” Hazel shrugged.

“I guess one of the first things most newfoals do is get a new ‘proper equestrian’ name. Its right up there with first meal as a pony and learn to walk. So are you a newfoal?” John asked.

“Oh yes.” She beamed adorably. “I got converted something about eight years ago. I work at the coffee shop on Gilbert and Euclid, The Night Owl. My friend owns it.”

“Really now? I used to run a business myself.” John adjusted a bit in his seat.

“Oh? What did you do?”

“Eh, its in the past now...” John dodged, he was a bit infatuated and didn’t want to ruin the moment.

“Oh. Well, thats okay. The way I see it, ponification is a second chance: second chances tend not to work if you keep bringing up the past.” Sweet Luna, she’s almost too forgiving. “You know, its funny, I wouldn’t even be here if my friends hadn’t forced me to come. they’re all ‘You need to get out more’ and ‘I’ve never even seen you with another pony.’ ; ‘All you do is work work work, your not a changeling or a bee or anything like that.’.” She made mocking faces when impersonating her friends in way that John could only call cute.

“Heh, my friend dragged me into this too. Drunken bets and all, you know how it goes.” John chuckled.

“Oh yeah, there’s nothing like a cold glass of whiskey.” Hazel giggled.

“You drink whiskey?” John gawked, dumbfounded.

“Occasionally, but my favorite is Buffalo Trace. Its a bit thick but sweet ponyfeathers is it good. Sweet Apple Acres makes a great cider, Equestrian side.” Hazel said warmly.

“Well, I’m going to have to try that sometime. I’ve had Buffalo Trace before though, delicious.” John rubbed his belly in the universal sign of deliciousness, then shifted about in his chair. “Do you think it’d kill them to bust out cushions or get proper chairs? Its not like they can expect a human to stop by anytime soon.”

Hazel giggled, “Hee, yeah, not many of them left. Oh Luna, you think you’ve got a problem, at least you get to move about a little, my rumps been here for almost forty minutes. My flank’s all sorts of numb.” She wiggled it about for emphasis. “See?”

John could feel himself blushing from his muzzle to his fetlocks. “Uh, yes.”

“Hee, I like you. You’re funny. So, what do you like to do for fun?” Hazel asked. “I like reading and trying out new drink combos. Sleeps good too.”

“I read or go flying mostly. I love cardio. Playing with my son too, I guess. A good movie or cartoon is always great.”

“You have a son?” Hazel queried, curious.

“Yeah, he’s just turned nine years old. Actually, when the Wonderbolts were in town about a month ago, it was for his party”

“No way!” Hazel spoke in disbelief. “How long have you been an pony? You must have been first in line!”

“Huh, I thought you’d be more interested in how I managed to get the Wonderbolts to do a private show, but, uh, okay.” John idly scratched his head behind his ear as a sign of confusion. “I’ve actually only been a pony for a month and a his mother got converted when he was in the womb. Don’t know why she didn’t tell me she was getting converted or that she was pregnant, she just up and disappeared. Never saw her again. Eight years later, a little pegasus colt shows up at my door with paperwork saying he’s my son. I love the little tyke.” John subconsciously wiped away the tears that were forming.

Hazel put a mocha hoof around John, scootin’ closer. “Awww, its okay sweetie. Sometimes things happen.”

“Yeah, I guess. So-” The Bell tolled, cutting John off once again. “As I was saying, It was nice talking to you, definitely would want to see sometime sooner than later.”

“Oh definitely.” Hazel nodded.

John got out of the chair and took his place at table number three. He could now see that the pegasus was wearing thick glasses. “Hi, I’m Skylla!” She extended a hoof, “It’s greek. One of Posieden’s immortal chariot drawing horses.”

John took her hoof and shook it. “My name is John.”

“Hebrew name, meaning ‘God is great’.” She spat. “You know I heard that the christian god is actually part of a larger pantheon. Its him, Bol, and a sister whose name they lost. Some paleotheologists, or whatever the term is, tracked it all the way back to its origins. Supposedly, when the hebrews left, they took Yahweh with them and left the other two to die in obscurity. Truly fascinating stuff if you ask me. In fact, this is supported in the jewish religious scriptures with the first few lines or so. I forget exactly which ones but it’s something to the effect that there are other gods, but he is the god of gods. Like I said, its really fascinating stuff.” Skylla jabbered, making John’s mind reel.

“Yes, fascinating.” John murmured, rubbing his temples. This is going to be the suck. How much more time do I got? John looked at the clock, the time was already almost halfway up. Wow, that mare sure knows how to talk for bit. Might as well kill it. “So you study mythology huh?” John asked, his mind shutting down far before he finished.

“Oh yeah, my mom used to read them-” By then John had gone into a full mental recession, his eyes glazing over as she went on to describe how myths were still an oral tradition in her family and how she got a scholarship for her paper on them and was amongst the first to convert so she could learn equestrian mythology. John, of course, nodded and agreed or disagreed where appropriate. When the bell finally tolled, she was prattling off about her theories on the Nightmare Moon myth.

“Oh thank Celestia.” John sighed under his breath.

“What?” Skylla asked, with a partly confused; partly curious look on her face.

“Oh, nothing.” John lied, stretching. “I’d love to hear more, but its time to move on.” He gave a false smile as he got out of the chair and made his way to the final table. He sat at the table and introduced himself. “Hello, I’m John!”

“Hi John, I’m Candy Shores! You have a human name, I like that.” She bubbled.

“You know, you look pretty familiar, have we met before?”

“Oh, well, I work as a dancer at the Hoiseried Hoof, maybe you’ve seen me on the floor?” She a gave that was definitely seductive, John managing to keep his wings at his side.

“Uh, nope, uh I don’t think I ever visited that place, heh heh.” John laughed nervously, suddenly realizing who the mare across from him was and why she looked so familiar.

“Oh c’mon darling, we get all sorts. Besides, its good pay and my oh my are there some stories to tell. Like about two months ago, right? So we get a human, this was before they up and pretty much disappeared, and he’s pretty drunk. He tips me a good thousand bits, so I take him in the back room to give him the VIP treatment and he flips out! Tosses me off the bed and runs through the tinted glass wall without his pants!” She animated with her hooves, acting out the story.

John winced, “Ooo, I bet he regretted that.” He remembered spending a lot of time pulling glass from a lot of areas glass should never be.

“Yeah, I bet. But anyways, my point is, as long as you’re not that guy, there’s no real need to be so shy.” She cooed.

“Heh heh, yeah. So, change of subject, what do you like to do?” John was doing everything he can to not bolt out on her a second time, as well as dealing with a newfound regret for not going through with it that night. Damn you pony brain! I am so killing you with liquor.

But John you need me!

Fuck you I don’t!

I’m not going anywhere.

Fiiiine.

“Ooo, that a good question!” She tapped her hooves to her chest then to the chair. “Well I like dancing. I’ve been dancing since I was a foal. Well, A kid I mean. I love painting, although its been really hard to try to get that off the ground. Its a tough market you know? Also, I just love making stuff with clay. Pots, cups, bowls; anything really. So, what about yourself?”

“Oh y’know, reading, flying, watching a good flick. I like getting active in general from time to time. mountain climbing, hiking, sports, the whole nine yards.” John sighed, he had been here over an hour and it was already starting to wear on him.

“Oh really?” Candy gasped, “Thats so neat! My friend is really into tennis, she does the tournaments and everything.”

“Don’t think I ever really played tennis before.” John said, just as the bell tolled twice, signifying the conclusion of the event.

“Alright everypony, that brings this months event to close.” The hostess clopped her two forehooves together. “I would like to thank you all for coming out, and don’t forget to check the boxes of the ones you found interesting! If both parties check it, the contact information will show up in the blank area!” She reminded before ushering everypony out of the building.

John sat outside the building a little confused for a moment with the other nineteen ponies before they slowly started to disperse. Eventually, John got to his truck and drove off home.

-_-_-_-_-

John grabbed his dating ticket, shut the door to his vehicle, flew up to his balcony and walked inside. Scanning the living room, he noted it was empty. He’s probably in his room. John thought as he trotted up the stairs. As he passed by, he noticed Azure’s room was a bit unkempt as rooms belonging to colts his age were, and that Azure was missing. Huh, guess not. John continued to his room and flopped onto his bed. He fumbled through his nightstand for a moment before obtaining a sharpie.

Lets see... John placed the ticket in front of him, numbers and names listed. Hazel, Napalm, Ocean Breeze aaand Coin Trick. He checked off. Instantly, Napalm and Hazel’s contact information appeared. Huh, guess the other two haven’t got around to it yet. John looked at the phone numbers, I think I’ll call them tomorrow, don’t wanna look too eager. “But for now, a nap.” He announced to ceiling, before climbing into his sheets and dozing off.

-_-_-_-_-AUTHOR'S NOTES-_-_-_-_-

Ocean Breeze written by Ocean Breeze
Strawberry Frosting used with permission. Sorta.
I'm proud of the whole "magic ticket" punch card thing. Took a bit to think a way out of the contact information issue.
I timed each and every date to be five actual minutes (as if it were acted, not straight read)
Using the last bit, if acted out (The whole chapter, not just the dating that is) I’d have a made for tv movie here. Somewhere in the neighborhood of 83min. Or blah. Lets go with blah.

Yosemite pt. 1

An Azure Future:

Moving On

Yosemite

Part 1

“You sure you got everything?” John asked Azure, reading a long list of crossed out words. It was an exhaustive list of the items they'd need for the camping trip. From unexpected cold fronts to disasters he had made sure he was covered.

Azure looked over the three duffel bags and tent that were laying in an orderly row in the living room. "Uhhh, I think so, but we better make sure."

"Well, you should always double check your lists when going places son. Open up the first bag, and lets see what we got." John directed.

Azure obliged, unzipping the duffle bag and sorting through its contents. "We got a sleeping bag, three towels, a can of bug spray, two pillows and some clothes if it gets too cold." He listed, holding up each item as he called it out. John put a check next to each item on list.

"Seems good so far." John murmured around the pen in his mouth. "Next bag." John ordered.

Azure obliged, zipping up the duffle bag he had been going through and moving to the second one, unzipping it. "Lets see..." Azure trailed as he started rummaging through the bag. "We have another sleeping bag, both of our hiking boots, camera, both our saddlebags, a survival kit and a first aid kit."

"Alright, got it. Next one." John fiddled with the pen, rolling it around in his mouth.

Azure zipped the bag and moved to the last duffle. "We have raingear, rain boots, and the stakes, mallet, and poles for the tent." Azure shook the bag and the contents made a metallic clinking and a wooden clunking as they contacted each other. "Got a good bit of room still." He noted.

John flipped the pen around in his mouth with a flick of his tongue and tapped it against the pad of paper. "Hmmm... Something is missing..." John mumbled, thinking about what they could possibly be lacking. After several moments that lasted longer than John would care to admit, it struck him. "Food! We are missing snacks for the ride there and emergency rations!" John set off to the kitchen and began to rummage through the canned food.

"Uh... dad?" Azure attempted to interject his father's tangent, following him into the kitchen and leaving the bag open.

John, however, paid Azure no mind and continued to look through his cabinets until he found his prize -three cans of chili- "Here we go! Chili! Now all we need is a can open-" John turned about to a very confused looking Azure. "What?"

"We can't eat chili dad, it has meat in it." Azure replied.

John rotated the can he had on hoof to look at the ingredients, the second one proclaiming "Meat Products: Beef and Pork." "Well, would ya look at that." John huffed. "So you've never had chili?" John asked as he put the cans back.

"Uh, I had vegetarian chili once." Azure scratched his mane as he tried to think of any other instances.

This, however, made John realize all the meat related things that Azure would miss out on. Fishing, hunting, learning how to skin a buck, making traps, grilling, tuna sandwiches, how to make a thanksgiving turkey and many more. "Well, uh, why don't you go grab two vegetarian MRE's then."

"Dad, we don't exactly need emergency rations. We'll be in a forest, if push comes to shove, we'll eat the local foliage." Azure corrected his father once again. It had been less and less often recently, but sometimes John needed a reminder or two of his current species.

"Right, right... Well I guess grab some snacks for the trip there." John shrugged, still occupied on all the things his son would be missing out on. "Camping without fishing, or hunting, or hot dogs..." John whispered.

"Well, there is going to be plenty of s'mores." Azure scoffed as he gathered a bag of pretzels and a tub of red vines.

Didn't say it quietly enough it seemed. John mentally scolded himself.

"I don't need to do the same things you did when you were my age to have a good childhood. I am allowed different experiences y'know." Azure added, taking a stab at the source of the troubles.

"Yeah, I guess you're right Azure." John sighed. Almost two months and I'm not entirely used to being a pony.

Azure put the snacks in the duffle bag and zipped it up. "Aaand I think thats it." Azure declared the packing done.

"Well alright then!" John clopped his forehooves together in excitement. "Al! Lock the patio behind us!"

"Yes sir." The AI droned as John grabbed a duffle bag in each foreleg and the tent bag in his mouth, leaving Azure the lightest of the bags.

"Les gr!" John beamed from around the strap that was pinning his tongue down and cutting into his cheeks slightly. It was uncomfortable, but the flight was short. John took off and Azure followed behind him, each struggling slightly with their load.

It was more of a controlled fall than true flight as they glided over to the truck. Touching down, they dropped the bags in the bed as the passed over it. John commanded the truck to open and start. Once the course to the departure point had been plotted the pair relaxed, and shared plans for the trip ahead.

-_-_-_-_-

John's truck pulled to a stop about twenty meters away from the bus. "We're here buddy." He announced needlessly, as Azure was already hopping out.

"C'mon dad, we're almost late!" Azure urged, trying to move the two heavier bags by himself and utterly failing to do more than budge them as he strained himself.

"We have, like, ten minutes to go about twenty five meters. Calm down." John yawned as he exited the truck with a push of his wings and soared into the open. Relieving Azure of the bags and taking the tent bag in his right foreleg this time, he flew over to the waiting area where there was already nine foals and about three other parents chaperoning. The teacher stood in front of the entrance for the school bus holding a clipboard.

John noted that the amount of luggage he had was about average. Most of the foals had two bags each and a tent, with an adult having an additional bag or two.

He noted that Cream's twins, Sugar Dew and Sweetie Cane, were there. They seemed to be playing patty cake or some other such game. John also recognized The three colts that had attended his birthday party. He did however, note that Forest Mint was absent. There were several foals that John couldn't place names on off the top of his head. John shrugged, I'll learn them soon enough. He figured.

Azure dropped the bag he was carrying next to John's haphazardly, and rushed over to his friends. "Hey Rapids! Star and Clay, you made it!!"

"Hay yeah we did!" Beamed Clay, adjusting his slightly oversized stetson.

"I was able to fake my dad's signature, he thinks I'm at home while he's off visiting Equestria on a business trip." Blazing Star smiled slyly.

John felt a warm smile come across his face. Its nice to see Azure get along with foals his age. John thought to himself, then caught that he used the word foal. Geez, these ponyisms are brutal. I hardly notice when I do them anymore. Azure's right, I'm going native. John was about mid way through coming to terms with this when a tap on his shoulder interrupted his thoughts.

"Mister Norris?" A mare's voice queried.

"Huh?" John turned around to see yellow earth pony with a light green and peach mane that he recognized as Azure's teacher. "Oh yeah, thats me."

"Okay, just making sure." She put a check next to his name in the Chaperone list on the clipboard that hung around her neck. "Thanks for coming Mister Norris, we were short a pegasus chaperone when Mister Blitz cancelled and its so nice that we have a local on the trip!"

"Wait, so I'm the only newfoal?" John puzzled, tilting his head slightly.

"Oh, no, I meant the only one from California." She clarified. "You grew up here right?"

"Uhhh, yeah. Lived here my whole life." John nodded.

"So have you been to the National Park yet?" She asked, sizing him up; attempting to gauge just how helpful he was going to be.

"Uhhh, a few times before. Its been years." John stretched and cracked his neck, sometimes he got cramped up from being in his car.

Shale Quarry nodded and turned away, writing something on the clipboard. John felt his eye twitch, nothing he hated more than people talking about him behind his back, at least to his knowledge.

John turned his attention to the other two adults. He recognized one of them. Sweet Roll, Cream Baker's wife and mother of his twin. The other one was an Earth Pony with an orange coat and stoney mane.

"Alright everypony!" Shale Quarry clopped her forehooves together, calling the group to attention. The class formed into a three even ranks in front of her and sat attentive."Can I get the chaperones up front?" John, and Blitz made their way from their bags and Sweet Roll from her twins. "Thank you, now as you all know, we are gathered to go on a field trip to the Yosemite National Forest." She paused, a habit she had as a teacher to allow the information to sink in, whatever it may be.

"These," she motioned towards John and the others with her right foreleg. "Are your chaperones. They'll be helping me keep things running smoothly and you lot safe. This is mister Norris." She put a hoof on John's shoulder. "He is Azure Wind's father." Shale Quarry moved away from John and placed her hoof on the earth pony next to him. "This is Stonebreaker, he is Lace Agate's father." She put her hoof on the Unicorn, "And this is Sweet Roll, She's Sugar and Sweetie's mother."

"Now, we have a long trip ahead of us. The sooner we get on the bus, the sooner we can go. Form a single file line, Chaperones at the front." She signaled for the bus driver to open the doors and stepped inside.

John was nearest to the door and climbed into the bus, taking the window seat in front of the stairs. Stonebreaker followed, sitting next to John, The gargantuan earth pony slightly squishing him against the side. Sweet Roll sat herself down in the bench adjacent. She smiled and giggled at John, who was now writhing against the wall of flesh and pony and the wall of glass and steel in a futile effort to decompress his organs.

The bus loaded up, one by one. His son taking up the inside seat two rows behind him. The bus driver shut the door, started the engine, and they headed off.

-_-_-_-_-

The bus ride was long and very uncomfortable for John, though he did manage to finally doze off. His limbs had painfully fallen asleep long ago, and the sensation grew into an odd comfort allowing him to get his sleep. Azure however, discussed various plans with his trio of friends, each one more improbable than the last. Everything from telling spooky stories and s’mores to fighting the ghosts of Glacier Point and finding bandit’s lost treasure was talked about as they worked themselves into a frenzy of excitement.

Shale Quarry hopped out of her seat as the bus approached the campsite for the weekend. “Alright everypony, wake up! We’ll be reaching the campsite soon!”

The sudden increase in commotion made John stir. Groggily he tried to look around yet was rendered immobile between the pony on his left and the window and his right.

“We’ll be staying at the North Pine campground.” She continued, “Tonight we will be breaking camp and have Ranger West give us a safety briefing. You are free to explore the immediate area as long as you do so in a group of four or more, but not until we make camp.” She stretched, the long ride having taken its toll on her. “Tomorrow, we will be hiking to Glacier Peak, Half Dome, Mirror Lake and Yosemite Falls. The day after we’ll be breaking camp and heading to the Ansel Adams Photo Gallery, then we’ll start heading out of the park, stopping by Tunnel view and finally Mariposa Grove.” She finished, before turning to the bus driver and discussing the driving schedule.

Thankfully for John, Stonebreaker stood out of his seat into the walkway as soon as the vehicle had started to grind to a stop. However, spending the last six hours cramped had its side effects and John flopped about trying to get his legs to work. He eventually found his hooves and wobbled weakly out of the bus and fell down the steps. John quickly righted himself and hoped no one noticed the slip up.

One by one the group unloaded out of bus in roughly the same order they loaded in. John took his place in between the other two chaperones as Shale Quarry ushered them into a pseudo formation. John took a moment to appreciate the scenery, it was an open grove, redwoods two hundred feet tall or more, with almost no other vegetation. The ground made of dry pines and dirt,

“C’mon ponies, if we hurry we can get the fire going before sunset.” She belted. “Hurry up! Alright, when I call your name, say ‘present’.”

“Blazing Star.”

“Here!” A tragically pink and yellow little colt called out. It took John a minute to recognize that he wasn't filly and he recalled that he was one of Azure’s friends.

“Clay.”

“Eeyup.” Another of his friends, the colt fidgeted with his hat trying to block out the setting
sun with the brim of his hat, yet keep Shale in sight.

“Jet Blaze.”

“Present.” The black pegasus puffed out his chest.

“Lace Agate.”

“Present Missus Quarry.” She raised her hoof to make sure the teacher saw despite being in the front.

“Morning Rose.”

“Yeh, yeh, Ah’m ‘ere.” She cracked her neck and spat out the toothpick she had been chewing on, the end severely splintered.

“Sugar and Sweetie?”

“Present!” One started, stepping forward and beaming.

“And accounted for!” The other finished, moving to stand beside her twin.

“Sunburst.” Shale called, after a silent pause she called out again. “Sunburst!”

“Oh? Huh?” A distracted young filly tore her gaze away from the natural splendor around them. “Uh, yeah, I’m here. Kinda.”

Shale Quarry shook her head and murmured something John couldn't quite catch. “And WInd Rapids.”

“Present.” He stated lazily, yawning.

“Alright, thats everypony.” She smiled as she checked off the last name. She turned towards the chaperones. “Mister Norris and Mister Stonebreaker, if you would unload the bus?”

John nodded, opened the the undercarriage and started unloaded as Stonebreaker just grunted in approval and ponderously made his way over to help John. In short time, all the tents, camping supplies, and various other items paranoid parents thought necessary for their foals.

“Alright, We’ll be camping in this general vicinity,” She paused, allowing everyone to asses the area and plot where they’d pitch their tent. “The firepit is over there,” She pointed lazily at the large dug out pit encircled with large stones. “And the restrooms are over there.” She pointed the other direction towards a large brown building a small distance down the road. “Ok, Chaperones, Sweet Roll, you volunteered to do all the meals, we’ve already discussed your duties. Stonebreaker, you’ve got helping all the foals with setting up their tents.”

Stonebreaker nodded and set off to help Blazing Star who looked like he would have a very promising future in abstract expressive sculpture.

“Mr. Norris, you're responsible for collecting firewood and getting the fire started.” Quarry then went back to perusing her clipboard for other tasks that needed done.

John, looked about and saw that there was plenty of dry twigs branches and few large logs laying about and set out collecting them. He would pick one up with his muzzle, lay it across his back with his wings raised up in order to keep them from sliding off. After the load started to get a bit too uncomfortable, he’d drop them in a spot near the fire-pit. It was a slow process, but eventually, John had built up a sizable pile.

John took some light tinder, placed it on top of heavier tinder and selected two thin pieces of wood. He set the flatter of the two pieces at the bottom of the firepit and split it with a blow from his hoof. He set the tinder at the end of the long narrow crack and broke the other twig at an angle. John examined his handiwork with a grin, “Alright, lets get cracking.” John grinned as he began to rub the sticks together.

After about two or three minutes of stroking his wood, The tinder caught and John hurriedly lowered down to it blow gently and was rewarded with a small flame. He quickly jumped out of the pit to gather some of the small twigs he had saved for the occasion. Carefully placing them over the flame, he watched in hope. After a few agonizingly long moments, they too caught fire and the fire was stabilized. “Fires going!” He bellowed, grinning like a madpony as he relished in the rush of having created fire from nothing. He placed a pyramid formation around the growing flame to feed it as it needed.

By the time John had nursed it to its full strength, dinner was served. The plate consisted of sweet bread and carrots. John chewed thoughtfully and looked about trying to find his son, spotting him with his friends near one of the largest trees in their area. The group was laughing between mouthfuls of food about something, and it brought a smile to his face to see that Azure was having a good time. The food would have been pretty bland had he still been human, but he found it quite enjoyable and filling as a pony.

“Alright everypony!” Shale Quarry announced as a tan stallion in a park ranger outfit approached. “Ranger West is here! He’s going to give a speech on staying safe in the park so gather around!” Everypony slowly gathered up their meals and moved into a semi circle formation around the teacher.

“Thank you m’am.” He spoke in a smoky deep voice, “I’m Ranger West, and I’m going to be telling you about some of the dangers in the forest and how to avoid them. First and foremost, the wildlife. There are feral bears, cougars, coyotes and rattlesnakes. Now usually, they’re gentle and will leave you alone. However, if you are approached by any of these with the exception of the rattlesnake, make yourself look as big as possible. As a general rule, if you don’t mess with that, it most likely won’t mess with you. Also, you’ll want to put any food items in a tree away from the camp. If you get injured, we have capable medical staff in main ranger building back by the visitor parking.” Ranger West looked around at the vacant faces and sighed inaudibly, “Any Questions?”

“Are there any dragons? Or timber wolves?” Clay asked curiously, a tinge of worry in his voice.

Ranger West chuckled, “No, nothing from Equestria lives here.” He tapped his hoof to his muzzle as an exception came to mind. “Well, except for that crazy old gryphon, but he lives just out of the valley. Anypony else?” Silence answered him. “Well Missus Quarry, you know how to contact me.”

“Of course- How about a big round of applause for Ranger West?” Shale beamed and clopped her hooves together, everypony soon joining her as Ranger West turned and left. “Alright everypony, its time to clean up!” Shale exclaimed.

-_-_-_-_-

All the foals were gathered around the campfire which was now kept as small flames licking hot embers. John had volunteered to stay up and make sure all the foals got to bed. “Ooo, I know! Let’s tell scary stories!” Sunburst smirked. “I’ll go first!”

Scary stories huh? “I got next.” John grinned wickedly. This is going to be good.

“Okay!” Sunburst agreed, before darkening her tone. “It was a clear moonlit night, just like this one, in a forest just like this one. There was two ponies walking through this forest, a mare and a stallion. The ranger told them that there was, like, a killer on the loose.” Sunburst paused for dramatic effect. “So they were walking through the forest and they heard a loud crunch. They looked around and saw nothing but just the trees. They kept on walking through the forest and heard another loud crunch, closer this time.

“The mare got nervous, and asked the stallion if they could teleport away. He said it was probably just a deer or something and they continued walking. Then they heard another crunch, even louder! The mare begged the stallion to teleport them back home and stallion obliged. Just before his spell went off, there was another loud crunch, it was right behind them! He released his spell and they were at the ranger station. They looked behind them instinctively and there, on the ground...” She turned to her right and picked something off the ground. “WASABLOODYHOOK!” She belted, jumping up on the log with a prop pirate hook on her hoof.

John manage to stifle his chuckling as this elicited a scream from the twins and Lace. “That was pretty good,” John yawned and cracked his neck, “But now here’s one my father told me the first night I ever went camping...” John grinned maliciously, This is going to be good...

-_-_-_-_-

“... And the last thing she heard before she slipped into the void, never to wake again, was ‘as you wish.’” John looked up, he had been giving his best thousand yard stare to the fire in an attempt to add a bit of creepiness to the story. Not that it needed extra, but storytelling is largely in the delivery after all. All the foals were huddled together, mortal fear in their eyes. “Welp! It’s late, time to get to bed.” He stood up.

“D-did they ever catch him?” Sunburst managed, her voice wavering and on the verge of tears.

“Nope!” He beamed, trying not to laugh, “Now off to bed!” He ushered all the foals to their respective tents. Most were paralyzed by fear and had to be actually carried to their tents before they regained any control over their movements. After ushering off all the foals, John retired to his own tent, where he found Azure in a sleeping bag trying desperately to fall asleep. “Hey there little buddy, you doing alright?” John asked, concerned. Memories of just how terrifying the story was the first time he heard flooded back with a bit of guilt.

“Y-yeah, just fine.” He mumbled, his voice weak.

“The story scared ya didn’t it?” John asked. Between the ponification and his memory when he spent the night he had heard it sleepless as his father just called him a pussy for being scared, he felt terrible. Partially for not thinking of how the foals would take it, but mostly for not caring even though it was briefly.

“N-no...” Azure stuttered.

John hugged his son who shivered against him. “Look, it’s okay.” He said as he nuzzled him. An equestrian form of comforting one another. “My father, he was, well, a very special man. He told me that story when I was your age and I hardly slept the rest of trip. When I told him that I was scared, he kinda just called me a pussy and told me to ‘man up’.”

“Uhhh...” Azure squirmed a bit to face John, a hint of confusion on why such a thing was relevant just barely able to be made out in the darkness of the tent.

“Like I said, he was... special.” John shrugged, “One second, he’d be the crassest most base person on the planet, but there was a good in him too. But that’s not the point, the point is I want to be there for you more than my father was for me. I’m sorry the story scared you.”

“It’s... okay. I think I’m okay now..” Azure yawned.

“We should get to sleep, big day tomorrow.” John reciprocated the yawn grabbed his own sleeping bag.

Azure nodded and the duo set off to Luna’s realm together.

-_-_-_-_-

John’s head hurt. A lot. Must’ve slept on my brain funny... John’s sluggish mind managed to chug out as the gears in his mind ground back to life. A loud screeching was assaulting his ears, making him feel hungover, despite not having drunk since he ponified. Th’ hay is that?!He winced, folding his ears flat against his skull.

“...That you apologize to them all this second and tell them that it was a fictitious story!” Shale Quarry, the teacher, was berating John.

“What?” John blinked and stood up, the world seemingly wobbled under him as he tried to force his brain to work.

“Mr. Norris, you were supposed to look OUT for the children, not mentally scar them! Now you get up and apologize to them this instant!” She steamed, storming off.

John hesitated for a few moments as his brain caught up to current events. Oh shit, the kids.

Azure stirred, “Mornin’ already?” He stretched and yawned. “I’mma go get some breakfast.” He stated, as he trotted off.

John head out of the tent and towards where the food was set up. The other two chaperones cast him scornful looks as he approached. John sighed, Best just get this over with... “Ahem,” He cleared his throat. John made sure he had everypony’s attention before beginning, “Everypony, I’d like to... apologize for my behaviour last night. I was just sharing a story my dad used to tell me when I was a foal- er, kid. I forgot how scary it was the first time I had heard it. It isn’t real.” Everypony seemed to silently accept this and move on. He said sorry, meant it, and it was all in the past anyways, no reason for a grudge.

“Thank you John, now make sure not to do that.” Shale warned, before heading off to do some checks on various things.

Breakfast was a quiet affair after that. John put an apple, some oatmeal and a snagged a cup of orange juice from the table. He ate slowly, considering and appreciating the taste of each item. The apple was quite fine and more than likely imported from Equestria and the oatmeal had a hint of cinnamon that made it very pleasing to the palate. It was a modest offering, not very filling, but meant to stave off hunger for a long period of time.

“Alright everypony!” Shale cheered, clopping her hooves together. “Finish up, we got a busy day ahead of us! Today, we will be hiking to Glacier Peak, Half Dome, Mirror Lake and Yosemite Falls!” She reiterated the plans for the day for the sake of the forgetful. “So hurry up, the faster we get to the trail, the longer we can stay there!” She urged as Sweet Roll packed up the food and Stonebreaker helped clean up the camp.

John took the trash and flew it to the trash bins back at the entrance of the campgrounds. Upon his return, he put the extra food back in the tree as Shale finished taking the head count.

“Alright, everypony is here. Load onto the bus!” The foals went in first, filing from the back. John made sure Stonebreaker went in first this time. No compressed organs THIS time. After everypony had loaded up, they set off.

-_-_-_-_-

The drive had an air of drowsiness lent to it by the the barely lit morning sky, the faintest hints of the sun detectable as the bus arrived at its destination. It’s slow halt stirring the group, as they wiped remnants of sleep out of their eyes. Shale Quarry had them unload and made sure everypony had a water source before they headed off. “Alright, make sure to stay on the trail and keep up with the group. Stonebreaker, you bring up the back, John, you get the middle and Sweet Roll, you’re with me.” She declared before heading off, leaving the group to organize itself.

The trail was packed dirt, hardened by the increased heat and rainfall of the spring, with tall redwoods on either side. “Now, Yosemite has been a national park since nineteen sixteen, when the National Park Service was founded, but it has been protected federally since eighteen sixty four when President Abraham Lincoln signed a bill setting the land aside for preservation and was a state park in eighteen sixty two.” Shale Quarry recited, giving the educational part of the trip. She had waited until they were well on the trail to allow everypony to wake up properly. “But it has been receiving visitors since eighteen fifty five. Now, Yosemite was the first nationally protected park, but can anyone tell me what first official national park was?”

There was a pregnant pause before an answer came, “Uhm, Yellowstone?”

“Correct!” Shale beamed. “Yellowstone was first protected in eighteen seventy two, but was the first park to be declared a national park and Yosemite was declared a National park shortly after. More recently, preservationists persuaded Congress to declare a large portion of the park the Yosemite Wilderness, increasing the protection on those areas.” The rest of the short hike passed quickly, the only noise that of the morning forest.

They arrived at the cliff view of Glacier Point. Before them lay an awe-inspiring view of the valley, a deep dramatic cut into the earth. The mountains on either side were steep and dotted with a few trees. The valley snaked out of sight, the vastness of the scene and the rising sun casting long shadows and orange light across it. The wind howled softly through the valley. It was something straight out of an old epic.

The scenery elicited a few softly spoken words of bewilderment from a majority of the foals, but awe-shocked looks from all. They dispersed and the pegasus foals played over the drop off as the others looked upon the view. Wow, I forgot how scenic this place is...

John decided to join the foals over the ridge, he was supposed to watch them, besides, it looked like fun. The view over the ridge was even better, above the cliff he could see the whole picture. It was a masterpiece that seldom few would ever observe. The earth bound colts however, seemed to have engaged in a game of seeing how could get closest to the edge. John flew closer, making sure to keep an eye on them. Eventually, Blazing Star went all the way to the edge, peered off it, and turned to stick his tongue out at Clay. Clay just shook his head and conceded defeat. Blazing Star went back to his friend and the danger passed.

After about twenty minutes or so Shale Quarry called everypony back in and did a headcount. “Alright, everypony is here. Same order as before, lets head back down.” She ordered, and they group hiked down the trail in file.

-_-_-_-_-

“So where are we going next?” Sunburst asked Morning Rose, the bus bounced jarringly on the dusty trail.

“Uhf, what did I tells yeh about being so upptiy in the mornin’?” She groaned in response.

“Well, gee, sure seems like Morning ROSE on the wrong side of the bed!” She giggled furiously at her own joke as Morning Rose just groaned again.

“Yer jokes’re almost as bad as yer taste in friends.” She smiled slightly.

“Ugh, I KNOW” Sunburst exaggeratedly flipped her hoof limply and adopted a lisp into her speech, “There’s tith won gurl, and, like, yaaah.” She crossed her eyes mockingly causing both of them to giggle profusely.

“We’re going to Half-Dome next.” Azure interjected.

“No one asked YOU, blank flank.” Jet Blaze spat, having waited a good deal of time already to pick on somepony.

“I’m not a blank flank Jet, I got my cutie mark two months ago!” Azure defended, slightly confused by obvious mistake.

“You may not be, but your dad is!” He sneered.

“At least I have a dad!” Azure decided to skip the semantics and go straight for the trump card. It was all John could do to not laugh.

“That’s quite enough, colts!” Shale Quarry frowned, intensely disappointed. “I’ll let you off with a warning this time, but if it happens again, you’ll be helping Sweet Roll clean the dishes.” Both of the colts murmured affirmations to themselves.

The bus bounced along for a while more before stopping at a clearing and unloading. “Alright class, we will be eating here. After, we will hike to the dome. We will not climb Half Dome, but we will approach the base.” Shale pointed at the cutaway mountain before them, ”Missus Roll, if you would.”

Sweet Roll beamed and pulled out a dozen sandwiches, peanut butter and banana, a dozen puddings cup and passed them out. “Eat up!” She cheered, taking a bite of her own sandwich. The twins somehow managing to eat, chew, and swallow their sandwich in unison caught John’s attention for a while until his ears caught the conversation Azure and his friends were having.

“So Azure, how’s Forest doing?” Blazing asked, mouth full of approximately half the sandwich, the other half trying to join it.

“Good. We hangout every now and then. Not as much as we used to, but I think we’re trying to figure out how much space we need.” He nodded.

“Thats good. My own ‘project’ is coming along nicely he he he...” He chuckled.

Clay rolled his eyes, “Ya haven’t so much as talked to Sugar or Sweetie the last few months.”

“H-hey, I’m just a few weeks away from real, audible, contact...” Blazing trailed.

“Well, I’m sure your master plan will work out fine, whatever it is. Just go a little light on the flash and boom, eh?” Azure comforted his friend.

“Pffft, like I was going to use any.” He scoffed.

“Alright Class!” Shale clopped her hooves together to call attention. “Lets head out, plenty more to do before the sun sets.“ She rushed about, cleaning up all the pudding cups and depositing them in the trash bin near the trail.

The trail was a bit looser than Glacier Points trail, and a sizable river ran on the right side of it. The pleasant warmth seeping through the pines of the redwoods and the cool breeze of the river made it almost heavenly. “Alright class, the trail isn't very long, so I thought’d I’d begin sooner. Most of the valleys were created about two to three million years ago by glaciers. The ice would grind against the earth in a highly erosive process. Erosion is kind of like sandpaper, no one brush does it, but hundreds of thousands of millions and even billions of years and you get beautiful scenery such as this. Land is created and destroyed by the planet itself. This is a sharp contrast to Equestria, where everything was created as-is or influenced by some sort of magic to be changed to what it is. Does anypony know the three types of erosion we went over in class?

“Oh, Oh! Ummm...” Sunburst called.

“Now now, lets let somepony else get one, hm?” Shale passed.

“Wind, water and ice.” Wind Rapids stated lazily.

“That is correct! Does anypony know which one is the most erosive?” She posed another question, seeing that they still had a bit of distance.

“Ice?” Lace Agate asked.

“Yep, it has tiny crystals which grind against the stone!” She nodded, then announced, “We’re here!” The large rounded rock that was the center of the view back on Glacier Point was even more astounding up close.

It was over four hundred feet tall, and the way the sun caught the shimmering particles trapped within gave it an enchanted look. The redwoods only ran a small portion of the way up it. The next fifteen minutes or so, John kept an eye on the pegasi, making sure they didn’t do anything stupid like knock rocks off the cliff face onto their classmates below.

Thankfully, no disaster had occurred by the time it came to leave. John did however, have to keep a Jet Blaze from slamming into the side of the wall when he wasn’t really paying attention. The foal just grunted at him and wriggled out of his grasp, acting as though it had never occurred. What’s that kid’s problem? Little punk.

The class headed back with little commotion. However, a quick headcount showed that somepony was missing. “Where’s Jet Blaze?” Shale asked, looking around.

“He was wit’ us when we left. Musta slipped away when I wasn’t looking.” Stonebreaker spoke in his slow southern drawl.

“Mr. Norris, Stonebreaker, you two go search for him. Missus Roll and I shall watch the children. If you can’t find him or don’t return within the hour, I’ll contact Ranger West. “ Shale urged, opening the sliding doors.

John exited the bus and took to the air, flying along the path and scanning the the river. It was unlikely he fell in, being a pegasus, but not impossible. John kept scanning and eventually reached Half Dome. Maybe... John flew up to the top the dome and sure enough, the firey maned, coal black foal was there.

“Hey! I found him!” John belted as loud as he could, hoping his fellow chaperone that was searching the woods could hear him. “Why’d you disappear like that kid? You got everyone worried.” John drilled, but his question went unanswered. “Uhhh, you alright.”

“The scenery is nice, isn’t it?” Jet Blaze asked, staring past John.

John figured that whatever was going on, it was going to take a while and landed next to the kid.A commanding view of the area lay before them. The mountains were laid out, like the waves of an ocean frozen in stone. “I guess so.” John paused before continuing, “You wanna tell me why you ditched the group?”

The colt looked at John, the scenery, the sun, and back to John before hanging his head. “C-can you keep a secret?” He sniffled.

“Sure, what is it?” John replied, How bad could it be?

“I... I think I have a crush.” He hesitated.

“Filly troubles huh? I had lots of crushes when I was younger, it’ll pass.” John puzzled at how such a trivial thing could cause the kid any sort of real trouble.

“It’s not a filly.” He stated, aiming for a deadpan but the cracks in his voice

“Oh? Oh! Wait youre a fa-”John managed to stop himself. “I mean, well, uh, who is it?”

Jet Blaze squirmed a bit before speaking a voice barely above a whisper. “A-Azure.”

“What? Didn’t quite catch that?” John grimaced, knowing it was probably a hard thing to do.

Jet took a deep breath, “... It’s Azure.”

-_-_-_-_-Author's Notes-_-_-_-_-

CLIFFHANGER!

NOT REALLY!

But man, is John a dick.

Yosemite pt. 2

An Azure Future:

Moving On

Yosemite

Part 2

“Huh.” There was a moment of silence before he spoke again, “So, uh, I assume that this, uh, ‘crush’ didn’t develop overnight. Why now?”

The colt started sobbing, “I’ve just had enough! My mom died giving birth to me, my dad didn’t survive the PER attack and then I had to move halfway away the country to live with my Uncle who’s never there!” Jet broke down into full on sobbing.

John considered several options over the next few moments. He laid down and wrapped a wing around him. “Look, I don’t have the answers you are looking for. My own dad wasn't very there for me either and half of the times he was I wished he wasn't. So I do understand what you’re going through.”*

“T-thanks...” He sniffled, wiping his eyes.

John looked at the sun, trying to gauge how long it had been since he left. “We should probably head back now. You okay?” He asked, looking at the foal.

“Yeah, I’m okay now...” Jet Blaze hovered into the air. John launched into the air himself, leading the colt back to the bus. They touched down and went inside the bus where the rest of the group was waiting.

“What took you so long?” Sweet Roll asked, they had been gone for a majority of their allotted time and they were starting to wonder if John had gotten them both lost shortly after finding him. Jet Blaze looked at John expectantly, hope and fear mixing in his eyes as the moment as truth came.

“Eh, the kid and I just had a little talk. Nothing to worry about.” John shrugged. Jet gave John a thankful look before returning to his seat. The bus sputtered to life and they set off on a short trip down to the their last trailhead.

-_-_-_-_-

The left path would take them to Yosemite Falls, the right, to Mirror Lake. The plan was head to Mirror Lake, double back, head to the falls and then back to the camp. The path to mirror lake was a short one, only about a mile, so Shale Quarry reserved from making any statements until arrival. It was also quite a bit more open, and the trees were younger on the shoreline of the river. There was a river that the path moved along with some fifty meters off of it.

Then they saw the lake. It was a modest lake in it’s size, but the clear pristine blueness reflecting the mountaintops before it was simply breathtaking. There was no doubt in John’s mind that Mirror Lake was both deserving of its name and yet did not quite do it the justice it deserved.

“Alright class!” Shale clopped her hooves together, “Mirror Lake is a seasonal lake for the spring and early summer, formed by runoff from the mountains. It formed from the remnants of a glacier that used to occupy most of yosemite, but is actually slowly disappearing due to the sediment deposits in the runoff. Now, we can't actually jump in this water as it’s protected now. But there is a section just a bit further up that it is allowed in the shallows.” She directed the group to a much smaller and not as placid part of the Lake, where there seemed to be another group already playing on its far end.

John however decided to skirt the rules and soar over the restricted parts of the lake a very low altitude. His reflection in the lake was still alien to him. It still took an extra second or two for it to click that the pony in the mirror was indeed him. He was however, overall glad he converted. Sure there were times he missed meat, video games, driving himself and over things but those didn’t quite compare to flight and being with his son. He cast a gaze towards the foals as he banked right. They were splashing about, playing, laughing and having a generally good time.

“Alright everypony!” Shale clopped her hooves together, “It’s time for us to head out, we got one last stop!”

“Awww.” Sugar and Sweetie moped in unison.

“But we just started a game of Guards and Timber Wolves!” Blazing Star complained.

“And we were getting to the good part!” Azure added.

“Yeh, we were ‘bout ta win!” Morning Rose jeered.

“Were not!” Blazing brilliantly retorted.

“Children!” Shale Quarry stomped her hoof down and the bickering ceased. “I know we are having fun here, but I promise you, this last stop is supposed to be the best one! But we won’t be able to stay long if you don’t simmer down so we can leave.” The foals stopped what they were doing and meandered into a group. “Okay then, let’s go!” She cheered as she turned and lead the way.

“Yosemite is best known for its numerous and scenic waterfalls. Yosemite Falls is the highest measured waterfall in North America and the sixth largest it the world, dropping almost half a mile. It’s initial plunge alone is in the top twenty.” Shale yawned, the day was getting long in the hours. “It should be just past this grove...” John had been able to hear the roaring water for almost the last entire mile, but sure enough, as he stepped just beyond that treeline, he was confronted a waterfall of epic proportions, the setting sun catching the mist just so as a rainbow danced about in the twilight. John felt his very essence pause at the glory before him, so enchanted he didn’t dare move, lest he break the illusion.

“Dad, move!” Azure shoved against John, snapping John out of it.

“Huh? Oh, sorry.” John apologized, moving forward allowing everyone else to come into the clearing. The group all gawked at the sight.

The area wasn't very crowded, something John found surprising. Outside of the waterfall, there was a visitors info building and a few tree’s scattered the area. There were signs pointing to trails leading to the second tier of the waterfall and a warning that the path to the top of the fall is recommended for experienced He heard a faint snapping of a dry twig of in the woods and his ears flicked instinctively towards it. Nothing. Probably just a squirrel. John figured.

He turned his attention back to waterfall. Venturing closely to the rocky riverbed, he experimentally dipped a hoof in the cool shallows. John could dully feel the cold wetness of the river through his hoof, but also got a gauge for just how swift the current was. It’d be some real trouble to fall in here.

Looking up from the water, his heart sank as he saw Lace, Rose and Sunburst hopping across rocks in the middle of the river. Before he could react, Sweet Roll had already grabbed the three foals with her magic “It’s dangerous to be climbing on slippery rock,” She scolded, yet keeping her composure, “Especially over rapids.”

“Yes Mrs. Sweet Roll...” They answered in unison, their ears folded flat against their skulls as they grew aware of their egregious errors.

“Now would you three be little dearies and try not to kill yourselves again anytime soon.” She continued.

They nodded, disjointedly this time.

“Well, run along now and try to stay out of trouble.” Sweet ushered. The three fillies set off to play elsewhere, and Sweet approached John. “Foals,” She exasperated, “More than a hoofful of trouble.”

“Yeah,” John agreed. “But its worth it.”

Sweet seemed to consider the reply, rolling it about in her head before agreeing. “Yes, I guess so. Though you really ought to see what the twins get up to.”

“Heh, luckily Azure doesn’t give me much trouble.” John nodded, looking past her to see his son flying about.

“Oh, yes, he’s quite precocious.” She agreed. “If you excuse me, Sugar and Sweetie are out of my direct line of sight.” She looked around nervously.

“Of course.” She turned and left to search for her foals.

John resumed watching the waterfall, while he felt like he could stay there and watch the waterfall forever the setting sun had a different plan. “Alright!” Shale clopped her hooves together, “Lets hurry on back, before it gets dark.” She urged, and the weary foals headed back out onto the trail.

After walking a distance back down the trail, a low snarl announced the presence of four sullen, starved coyotes emerging from the tree line. Time seemed to slow, as the pack made it’s way toward the group. Something deep inside John snapped. Something at the very core of his being flared as he thought to himself I am about to do something very, VERY, stupid.

John bellowed for everypony to run, but it didn’t feel like he was the one talking. He then tackled the coyote closest to him into a tree. John got off of it as quickly as he could, but it snapped at him, catching his foreleg and drawing blood. John galloped, wincing with pain from the effort and his wound. The sound of paws heavily padding against the pine covered floor were right behind him.

John had but two objectives, lead the pack away from the children and survive. The coyotes were catching up to John, slowed down by his injury. It wasn’t long before one was running alongside John. John grew rapidly desperate, thoughts of what Azure would do if he died here flew by his mind. It didn’t help that this had happened after a long arduous day of hiking and flying. The coyote on his left jumped on John, sending them both tumbling.

The coyote managed to get on top and bit at John’s neck and face, though he managed to just barely raise his hooves in defense. The coyote pawed at his crossed forelegs, raking him in the eye. John spread his wings and used them to surge forward, out from under the coyote. The pine needles below him giving him a severe friction burn and embedding into his coat. John flipped around, and tried to take off. One of the coyote’s, not content to let their prey escape, leapt. Luckily for John, it only snagged his tail, ripping out a few strands causing him to yelp in pain.

John flapped as hard as he could, brushing against one of the higher branches. Once free of the forest, he assessed his situation. He couldn’t see the trail, and judging from the size of the waterfall, he had put on at least two or three miles. He was bleeding good bit, nothing arterial thankfully, but there was a constant rapid dripping. He looked around for signs of civilization. The setting sun had darkened the sky just enough for him to see the lights of where the ranger and visitor station were.

John headed towards the lights with a sense of urgency. He was feeling light headed which he remembered as one of the early symptoms of severe blood loss. His wings burned with every movement and felt as though they were filling with lead. He managed to make it to the ranger station, collapsing from the air onto the welcome mat as he blacked out from blood loss and exertion.

-_-_-_-_-

John awoke with a start. He was in a nurse’s office, and Ranger West was sitting before him. “You gave us a scare there Mr. Norris, luckily you got here just before the nurse went home and she was able to patch you up just fine.” He spoke, in his low rumbling voice. “Though she said you’d best take it easy for a day or two.”

“My son- the foals-!” John started before being cut off.

“Perfectly fine.” John calmed down a bit at the answer. “Well, you seem well enough. You can head back to your group when you're ready.” John examined himself, sure enough he felt fine, a bit shaken but okay for the most part. “Oh, and good stuff saving those foals. You’re alright in my book.” He added as John left.

John took his bearing and heading towards the camp. He managed to approach the camp largely unnoticed. “Hey, has anyone seen my son?” He called out to them. The resulting commotion overwhelmed John as everyone seemed to speak at once..

“Oh my goodness are you alright?”

“Did you have to kill the wolves?”

“They weren’t wolves they were coyotes!”

“Are you OK?”

“That was so AWESOME! Thewayyoutackledthewolfand-”

“Everypony!” Shale called the rowdy group to order, clopping her forehooves together. “John, thank you. I’m sure you’re very tired, and your son is in your tent with his friend.” She motioned.

“Thank you.” He nodded as he moved towards the tent. Sure enough, inside was Azure and Wind Rapids who had his wing draped over Azure. They two had fallen asleep, and Wind Rapids was gently snoring. “Hey there kiddo.” John nudged Azure, waking him up.

“Dad?” Azure asked wearily, then perked up upon realizing it was infact his father, “Dad!” he stood up and hugged his father.

Pain spiked, I guess I’m still all bruised up. “Hey there little man, that;s a bit tender.” John noogied Azure as he let go.

“Sorry!” He apologized, backing off. “Dad... your flank.”

“What about it?” He asked, as he turned to see if he could discern what had transpired. There on his flank was a silver shield. His cutie mark. “Huh.” was all he could manage, dumbfounded. It was at this time Azure’s friend stirred.

“Oh hey mister Norris.” He welcomed groggily, “Huh, you got your cutie mark.” He looked around, and decided that his presence was now intrusive. “Well, I ought to uh, go, uh, my thing is stuffing and I should go check it.” He excused himself.

“Heh, your friend's weird.” John yawned, “Well I’m pretty tired...” he accentuated by flopping onto his sleeping bag and passing out.

-_-_-_-_-

John woke up in pain. It hurt to, well, be. I guess there was some sort of anesthetic spell involved... John poked his head out of tent, everypony seemed to be gone. His whole body ached, but his stomach ached more. Looking down, he saw a note, half covered in pine bristles and held down by a rock. He unzipped the tent and picked up the note, much to his chagrin, it was in Equestrian but he was able to glean that they’d be back around ten. Judging from the sun, he figured it was about nine to nine thirty.

He decided the it would be best to just lay down and wait for somepony to come by. A task that proved more difficult than he assumed. His bones thrummed with pain but he managed to lay on his side.

Time passed by slowly, and John found he couldn’t rest. His mind turned to his cutie mark, Hmmm, protection talent huh? Neat. I guess I oughta choose a name now... He let his mind drift through possibilities. Wind Guardian? Nah, too many pegasi use Wind and Breeze... Shining Armor? Nah, too silly. Aegis? Nah. Crowd Control? I’m not trying to join the Guard... Hurricane Shield? Hmmm, guard... Brown Sentinel? Silver Sentinel? Iron Stallion? Now I’m on super hero... BATSTALLION AND THE COLT WONDER! John burst out giggling at the last one. Huh, this is harder than I thought... Barricade? Warden? hmmm, Silver Warden sounds good... But I can do better methinks. John returned to letting his mind drift until he was interrupted by the tent being unzipped the rest of the way.

“Hey dad, feeling better?” Azure asked, beaming.

“Quite the opposite,” He groaned, rolling over. “Where’d you lot go?”

“Oh,” Azure’s mood dimmed, “Well, you wouldn't wake up and we thought it’d be good for you to rest anyways. We went to the gallery. It was alright, just photo’s of where we’ve been.” There was a moment of silence before Azure added, “Oh, we’re packing up now. It seems the tunnel view has been closed temporarily so we’ll only be stopping by the Sequoia’s.”

“Oh, okay.” John reluctantly stood on his hooves. The pain had receded slightly, but he wasn’t going to be flying today. “Well, I’ll get the bags, you grab the tent.” He bent down and grabbed each bag and tossed it out, grimacing slightly. He stepped out of tent, sure enough the camp was in commotion, about half the tents were in various stages of being packed. Azure set about breaking down the tent and John ferried the bags over to the bus, packing them in.

Eventually, the camp had been removed, a trash sweep had been conducted and now everypony stood in front of the bus. Shale did a quick headcount, “Alright before we get on the bus, we should all thank Mister Norris for risking his life to save us. Unless its something different now...?” John shook his head slightly. “Well, then, a big thank you for Mister Norris!” She cheered, stomping her hooves in applause. The foals joined in her applause, and some whooped. “Alright, now as you heard, the trip to Tunnel View has been cancelled, so everypony on the bus and we’ll head to our last destination!” She ushered everyone on board.

The ride was long and bumpy, at least it felt so to John. They unloaded and John noted that trees here were even larger and farther apart than before. The path was short, just under a mile to the largest trees. “Sequoia trees are the largest and longest lived life form on earth. Reaching well over three hundred feet tall and three thousand years old! They have spurs from which new trees can be born in their trunks, so the actually naturally grow in straight line.” Shale Quarry informed one they had reached the grove.

The grove itself was fairly impressive, the trees stretched into the sky seemingly forever and one could not make out the top without standing a fair distance away. John longed to take to the air and explore the trees more thoroughly, but the short walk there had nearly killed him and he dreaded the return. Instead, he just examined the impressive trees. Some of them had been around since before humans had found them and now they had out survived them for the most part.

Though John was happy to get back home when they decided to return to the bus, he wished he had more time to recuperate. He managed to pull through, though he had ended up panting and sweating bullets near the end. Shale Quarry did one last head count, and they loaded up on the bus one last time.

-_-_-_-_-

The bus ride was filled with dull chatter about the various sights they had seen and what they were going to do with their mondays and tuesdays off. Finally, the bus stopped. “Alright everypony! Don’t forget your stuff!” Shale yawned. The trip had taken its toll on everyone, and all were desperate to get home. Everypony unloaded themselves and their gear and began setting off.

As John threw a bag in the bed of his truck, a voice spoke up behind him, “That was mighty brave of you.” John turned to see Stonebreaker there, giving him a look that made John feel quite uncomfortable. The stallion had hardly spoke the whole trip, instead maintaining order with well practiced glares.

“Uh, no problem. I just did what I had to.” John deflected.

The stallion stepped closer to John, who looked at Azure for assistance. Azure just shrugged, having no idea what was occurring either. The stallion was now violating John’s personal space quite fiercely. “No sir, that was above and beyond.”

“Uhh, look you’re really in my person-” John was cut off as Stonebreaker pressed his lips to John’s. John froze up and Stonebreaker broke the kiss, trotting off without another word. A few long moments dragged by before John gained control of himself once more. “Azure.”

Uhhh, yeah dad?” The colt replied.

“What the fuck just happened.”

“I have no idea, but I do know that I’m tired” Azure yawned. “Lets go home.”

-_-_-_-_-

The door opened and a weary John collapsed on the floor, still very sore, as Azure flopped on the couch. They had opted to leave the camping materials in the car for now. “Hey dad.” Azure asked, staring absently at the ceiling as he sunk deeper into the couch.

John grunted an affirmation in response.

“Ya gonna change your name?” He rolled to face John, who was laid out on the floor.

John thought about it, there was a name that he had come up with near the end that he was fond of. “Yeah.”

“Did ya have one in mind?” Azure pressed.

“Yeah.” John moaned.

“what was it?”

“Call me Silver Shield.” Silver Shield rolled onto his back, “Hey Al, feed me.”

“Right away sir.” The AI responded, as it started Delicious_Sandwhich.exe and warmed up Foodcanon Loaction:livingroom. "Please ready your bodies."

-_-_-_-_-Author's Notes-_-_-_-_-

Brought to you despite the best efforts of job searching and college.

There is a Dr Horrible reference in here. Find it.

* and then he shoved him off a cliff for being a prick and attracted to his son

Guards and Timber Wolves, its like Cops and robbers if the robbers were also a fucking mechaziod from power rangers.

So I was thinking about AAF, and realized, It is very lacking in the gay. Like a lot. So I fixed it.

I'm really worried about this chapter. I feel like I may have tried too much or something.

A fork in the road

An Azure Future: Moving On
A fork in the Road
By
Krass McWriter

A knock came to the door. "I got it!" Silver Shield called out. He was in the kitchen for a snack and Azure was in his room playing with his toys. Trotting over to the door and opening it he found a light blue pegasus with an extraordinary silky white mane and glimmering turquoise eyes carrying a decently sized poster tube.

"Hello sir, I'm Windy Echo, I got yourrr..." He trailed as he searched for the appropriate package, "...Wonderbolts pin up here." He hefted the poster tube.

"Oh, hold on, thats my son's." He explained, before shutting the door slightly and turning to shout, "Azure! Door!â" He returned the door to its previous open state, "He'll be right down." Silver beamed, he couldn't explain it but ever since he got back from Yosemite he just felt happier, "So how's being a mailpony treating you?"

Windy Echo's gaze shifted about, "Uhhh, I have more packages to deliver sooo..." he trailed once more, this time lacking even more confidence than before.

Azure came tromping down the stairs, "Geeze dad, leave the poor mail pony alone, you'll give them a heart attack." Azure pushed his dad aside and signed for the parcel.

"Oh c'mon Azure, the one time I'm being hospitable..." Silver rolled his eyes as Azure pushed past him to collect his mail. Windy Echo took the opportunity to make himself scarce not wanting to be caught up when there were still deliveries to make.

Azure tucked the poster tube underneath his wing and gave his dad a quizzical look, "Don't you have somewhere to be soon?"

Silver paused and thought hard for a minute, "Oh, the date!" He quickly snapped his head around to look at the clock hanging on the wall, "Oh no, wait, I still have almost hour." Silver let out a sigh of relief. "Then again it is on the other side of town, by the time I get there it'd only be about fifteen minute." Silver rolled his head to the side as he considered his options. He could wait and just fly over there, but then he might be a little sweaty or he could leave now and walk. As Silver pondered on this dilemma, Azure snuck away to enjoy his new poster. "Hey Azure, Should I wa-" Breaking out of his concentration Silver noticed Azure had disappeared. Walking it was then.

Silver took a shortcut by hopping out of window and gently gliding down to the street. It was another lovely Californian day, then again the weather had very recently switched over to manual now the pegasus population was high enough. Silver figured there wouldn't be much except lovely days for the rest of his life.

Silver's mind turned to his date, Napalm seemed a little... unhinged. Anyone that lives alone in the forest and starts fires for living is a little questionable at the least. She was nice though and she wasn't hurting anyone as far as he knew, Silver guessed he was being a little judgmental.

The rest of the trip was fairly uneventful and Silver arrived the designated cafe. It was a small building with more flowers arranged on it than he would've thought were possible. The scent of coffee and chocolate wafted out of the door into the street where the mixed with scent of the flowers.

Silver looked around for the nearest clock and was unable to locate one. He wandered inside and took around. Significantly less flowers than the exterior but there were still plenty of vases around. There was no barista in sight but a clock behind the counter told Silver there was about three minutes until his date. With nothing else to do he took a seat.

Three minutes passed, then another minute and another until it was ten past the time there was no sign of Napalm. Silver poked his head outside and ran headlong into Napalm, their skulls meeting with a solid thunk.

"Hey, watch it!" Naplam snapped, rubbing the spot where their heads collided. She looked up to see who she was about to berate further, “Oh, hey, its you! Sorry I’m late."

Silver’s vision was spinning, the skull of the earth pony was much harder than his own. “Y-yeah"
Napalm looked at Silver quizzically, “Hey, uh, are you alright?"

Silver shook his head to clear his vision, “I’m good," He winced and the pain started to subside, “Yeah I’m good. I was just about to look outside for you."

“Oh well I got caught up with a..." Napalm made a motion with her hoof, “last second job. But I’m here now!"

“Oh so did you wanna go inside?" Silver asked.

Napalm stretched, “You know I’m actually pretty hungry now, how about we walk somewhere and grab a bite to eat."

Silver shrugged, “I could eat."

"Great! I know just the place, this way!" Napalm started trotting down the street, Silver followed shortly after.

Several long moments passed before either of them spoke but Silver broke the silence, “So, uh, what was the job?"

Napalm’s ears twitched going flat for a moment, “Oh! Uhm, it was local job not really a whole lot to say. The client paid really well or else I wouldn’t have ever taken the job when I had plans. Still I was hoping I could finish it much faster than I did."

Silver made a minor mental note Napalm didn’t say what the job was, but didn’t press the issue. “So what’s new with you John? Looks like you got your cutie mark." She noted.

Oh shit. “It’s uh, Silver now. Silver Shield."

Napalm smirked, “Well now that sounds like a story. I’d love to hear it."

Silver thought about the best way to summarize such an eventful trip, “Well my son and I ended up going to Yosemite very recently. I was along as a chaperone and to make a long story short we were attacked by a pack of wolves and much to the surprise of everyone, including myself, I lead them away."

Napalm chuckled giddily, “Holy shit.”

“Yeah it was something alright.” Silver averted his gaze.

“You really fought a bunch of wolves?” Napalm tried to stifle her laughs.

A smile tugged upon the corners of Silver‘s face, “That’s nothing, one time back when I was human I assaulted a HLF building practically unarmed. Luckily it was recently abandoned.”

“You did WHAT?!” Napalm stopped in her tracks, disbelief apparent on her face. “Wasn’t it rigged to the brim with traps?”

The slight smile faded, “Uh there were a few, but luckily it was using my company’s AI to manage it. Part of the source code is built over an override I have.”

Napalm rolled her eyes, “Man you get up to the most unbelievable stuff,” She continued leading the way, “If I hadn’t seen your place I’d think you were lying.” Before Silver could ask when exactly she had seen his place Napalm spoke again, “Hey we’re here!”

Silver found himself standing in front of a very new looking building, it’s design looked similar to the pictures of native Equestrian construction he had seen. There were three tables arranged outside, low enough to allow a pony to sit at them without a chair. Napalm ducked inside, “They have the BEST Daisy sandwiches.”

Silver followed her in, the inside was also fairly typical for Equestrian structure. In fact if Silver didn’t know any better he’d say he was in Equestria right now. Napalm turned towards Silver, already at the counter, “Hey what did you want?”

The sheer amount of words on the board blurred together and overwhelmed Silver immediately. It didn’t help that it was all in Equestrian; Silver had only lightly studied the language. “Uhhh, I guess one of those daisy sandwiches would be great.”

“Great!” Napalm peered over the counter, trying to locate the help.

Almost as if Napalm had tripped a magic alarm, a small light brown mare with a snow white mane appeared out of thin air. “Can I help you?” She drooled, her eyes half lidded and dull.

“Hey Autumn Blossom, two of those fantastic daisy sandwiches.” Napalm beamed. Autumn grunted and turned away, disappearing into the back. “She’ll be right out with those, lets grab a seat outside.”

Man she’s really energetic. Silver accompanied Napalm and sat down at a table just outside the door with a clear view of the counter. “Do you come here often?”

“Oh yeah, I come here almost everyday when I’m in the area. They have the best Daisy sandwiches, including Equestria. Autumn Blossom might be quiet and moody but she is good.” Napalm looked towards the counter inside, trying to see if Autumn was coming yet.

“Really? Better than the ones in Equestria?” Silver puzzled.

Napalm shrugged, “Yeah I know how it sounds, but you’ll see.”

“So you told me that you do mostly back burning in Equestria but what sort of jobs do you on Earth?” Silver asked, he almost immediately regretted it as Napalm’s face soured.

Napalm sighed, “Same thing as I do in Equestria.” Silver puzzled over the the words for a moment when it suddenly dawned on him. Silver‘s shock was plain. Napalm frowned, “Yeah I thought you might react like that. It’s not as bad as you think though!”

“Oh?” Silver’s interest was piqued, maybe it was above board work after all?

“I didn’t take just any jobs,” Napalm sat upright, “I never actually worked for the HLF or PER despite what the royal guard might think.” Autumn came out and placed the two sandwiches in front of each of them.

“Wait what?” Silver blinked.

Napalm took a bite of her sandwich, “Oh yeah,” She spoke through a full mouth, “Captain Ebony Dawn has been trying to get me on a slip up for years.’ She swallowed, “Celestia that’s good, but she’s never found anything and seeing as she doesn’t have jurisdiction outside of Equestria it’ll be a good while before she could.”

Silver took a bite to buy time so he could think it over, it was without a doubt one of the best things had ever eaten in his life. Almost good enough to make Silver forget the many worrying things he’d just been told. Silver gathered himself, “I’m, uh, getting the feeling that your work isn’t exactly always legal.”

Napalm shrugged, “I mean it’s not morally reprehensible, nothing worse than insurance fraud.” She perked up again and lilted, “My hooves remain clean.” Napalm wriggled them for emphasis.

He quickly shoved another bite into his mouth to buy time. Silver honestly didn’t know what to make of this information, suffice to say this date had not developed as hoped. Silver decided the best course of action was a change of topic, “Anyways, you said you grew up on a farm?”

Napalm swallowed another bite, “Oh yeah, we grew potatoes in one of the more rural areas of Equestria.” She rolled her eyes, “Honestly one of the most boring things I’ve ever done. Potatoes don’t exactly need a whole lot of attention but I suppose it could’ve been worse. Could’ve grown up on a rock farm.”

Silver mentally let out a sigh of relief, “Oh, growing up in the country sounds fun.”

Napalm raised an eyebrow, “How does walking three hours just to get some groceries sound? Or two hours to the nearest restaurant just so you don’t have to make your own meal?”

Silver was taken back, “I... never thought about that.”

Napalm shrugged, “I mean a lot of people visit or pass through the countryside and go ‘Oh this is pretty and it’s nice and quiet’ but don’t really stop and think that it’s been forever since they’ve seen anything.” She seemed to get lost in thought as she continued, “They don’t think about living in that quiet everyday for years. No one to talk to except family.”

“That sounds pretty lonely.” Silver took another bite sheepishly as Napalm shoved the small remainder of her own into her mouth.

“It was whatever.” Napalm shrugged before standing up and stretching. Silver quickly followed suite and finished his own sandwich. “Y’know this wasn’t the worst date, do you wanna do this again? I won’t be offended if you say no.”

Silver thought about pursuing a relationship with Napalm for a few long moments. “You know I kinda like you and I do want to hang out again but...” He paused, gathering his strength, “I don’t know if I’d want that to be a date?”

Napalm hummed dissatisfactory, “That’s fair I guess. I wouldn’t mind if you wanted to just hang out though.”

“Oh, uh, great. I guess I’ll see you around?” Silver shriveled up inside at the awkwardness. He didn’t remember this being so odd with Catherine. Then again he did end up having a child with her.

“Yeah...” Napalm glanced back down the street behind her, “Yeah alright. I think I’ll go now, see you around?”

“Well alright then.” Silver hesitantly left, heading back towards his apartment. Napalm headed the other direction. Silver reflected upon the date, she was nice but he just didn’t know about starting a relationship with her. In fact the more he thought about it the more he realized he didn’t feel like starting a relationship at all.

The thought clicked in his head, Silver didn’t want to do this. He didn’t want to go on dates or find a new significant other. Catherine was enough and he had Azure to raise, there wasn’t really any need to bring in someone to his small budding family. Then again Cadence herself had come to him, “I don't have to play nice you know.” Silver’s heart sunk at the predicament he had found himself in.

Silver let his mind wander to possible solutions. Simply put he could either keep seeking a relationship despite his heart not being in it or cease dating. He hummed disapprovingly, if only it was that simple. More realistically he could either keep failing at finding an emotionally engaging relationship or go to... wherever it was they sent arrested PER members. A thought crossed his mind, what if he appealed to her? Surely she could see that in the time since then he’d grown.

Silve found himself nearing his apartment, he stopped to dedicate more energy to figuring out his situation. The issue was how to contact her-- he could send a letter by dragon’s breath, it was the quickest option. However tracking down a dragon capable and willing to do such would likely end up taking longer than just using the post.

Silver supposed he could just... not tell her. Whether the princesses were actually divine beings was a heated topic of debate amongst humans and new foals but from his limited dealings with her it didn’t seem like much escaped them nor that they took kindly to those attempting the feat. No, the letter would be the way to go.

Silver leapt into the sky, relishing in feeling of the temperate afternoon wind rushing under his wings. A letter seemed too impersonal for something like breaking a contract, even one made under duress. Surely he was important enough to ask for a personal audience. Silver touched down on his balcony and opened the sliding door, walking inside.

Azure was coming down the spiral staircase as he came inside, “Oh hey, how’d the date go?”

Silver grimaced and sucked in air through his teeth reactively, he forgot his son’d want to know all about it. “It was, uh...” He searched desperately for the right words, his previous train of thought clogged up his thinking process making it far more difficult than normal.

“Yikes, that bad?” Azure asked, giving a little jump to skip thee last few steps.

“No she was nice, it’s just that I don’t think a lot of what she does is legal and its definitely morally questionable.” Silver made a so-so motion with his hoof, “Also she is definitely an arsonist.” Azure silently raised an eyebrow. “Yeah it was definitely an experience. What were you up to the last few hours?”

Azure shrugged, “Oh not much, just reorganized some of my Wonderbolts collection.” His face lit up suddenly, a giant smile upon it as his whole body perked up, “Hey since your date didn’t go well how about we watch a bunch of movies together! We could have a sickening amount of popcorn and candy until you feel better.”

Silver felt pretty fine about the whole thing, it wasn’t the first bad date he’d been on, but how could he say no to something that meant that much to Azure? “Alright, you pick the movies and I’ll grab the snacks.”

--__--__--

The light of the sizable TV offered the barest traces of light as the credits rolled on the fourth film. The outline of popcorn bowls and discarded wrappers were barely visible in the darkness. Silver squinted at the clock, unable to make out the time. It was late for sure. He looked down at his son, “Hey.” He whispered. Azure had been silent for the last half hour and Silver didn’t want to disturb him if he was indeed napping.

The Credits ended and the TV snapped back to the main menu instantly lighting up the room, Azure was indeed asleep on him. Silver watched the foal’s chest rise and fall, the light of the TV dancing across his fur as it played the menu sequence. His mind turned to the letter he’d have to write tomorrow, he doubted Cadence would take a foal away from their only parent but the thought caused his heart to sink.

Carefully putting the idea out of his mind and reaching for the remote, Silver turned off the TV. The darkness enveloped him as did his exhaustion from a long day. He adjusted his position so Azure wouldn’t roll on the floor, sighed and dozed off.

Silver found himself at a crossroads, both roads looking awfully dark and unappealing with no end in sight. He looked around for a signpost and found none. A soft voice came from everywhere at once, “Well isn’t this a predicament?”

Silver scanned the area again, this time for the source of the voice, his efforts bearing no fruit. He called out, “Hello?”

The light faded briefly before condensing in an orb of darkness in front of him. It quickly took shape and standing before him was Princess Luna, “Apologies Silver Shield, I forget that most new foals do not know I preside over their dreams now.” A playful smirk crept upon her muzzle, “Planning on disobeying my niece? A bold gamble, for sure.”

“If I could just talk to her-” Silver started.

“I’m sure she would be open to an alternative, Cadence is far more mercrucial than she likes to let on.” Luna paused for moment, the emotion on her face was unplacable, “However, if she demanded a price be paid, a price will be paid. My niece may be lenient does not forgive debts. If this is still what you wish, I can bring her here.”

Silver hesitated to gather his convictions before nodding. Luna‘s face regained her grim demeanor, “Very well. I shall send her here but first I must take my leave.” She disappeared much as she came, her form dissolving into a formless darkness and dissipating.

It wasn’t long before a brilliant flash blinded him, melting away the forest, the road and the rest of the dream. Once Silver’s eyes adjusted he found himself standing in a white void, in front of him was Cadence. “My Aunt said you wanted to speak with me.” She looked him up and down, “I get the feeling you haven’t done as I asked.”

Silver cocked his head ever so slightly, “You aren’t just gonna read my mind?”

Cadence laughed, “Forgive Luna, she cannot help it. When she enters a dream she gleans all the thoughts that created it.”

“Well... it’s about our agreement...” Silver swallowed, his heart beating hard in his chest. Cadence remained silent. “I can’t do it.”

“And why is that?" Cadence’s face betrayed nothing.

He sighed, trying his best to separate himself from his emotions to avoid breaking down, “I’m just not ready to be emotionally available and it’s not fair to me, my potential mate or my son even.”

Silver didn’t have time to enjoy his success. “Truly? Surely I do not have to remind you of your crime. I feel that I was more than generous in letting you off without even so much as a record.”

He felt as though he had been kicked in the guts, “W-well I-”

Cadence interjected, “I’m honestly not that convinced you are indeed sincere about what you are saying. You’ve always had a keen foresight and a knack for scheming from what I know about how you acquired your wealth.”

Silver choked on his words as tears began to stream down his cheeks, “I-I can’t... I can’t give that much myself right now. My son needs that part me...” He feebly attempted to wipe the tears and snot from his face, they were quickly replaced.

Several moments passed, finally Cadence sighed, “I believe you Silver Shield. I wouldn’t take your son away from his only parent.” A wave of relief washed over him, “However, you cannot go unpunished.” Silver’s short lived relief vanished. Cadence hummed for a moment, until a sudden smirk pulled up the corners of her muzzle, “Silver Shield, you will stand trial and be punished for your crimes against Earth and Equestria.”

“Wait I thou-” He started to object.

“Please wait until I am finished.” Cadence huffed, “As I was saying, you will stand trial and be punished... in about twenty five years.”

“Twenty five years?” Silver asked, baffled.

Cadence smiled smugly, “Oh yes, I imagine finding time to track down evidence and hold trials for every PER member, conspirator and accomplices. Unfortunately by that time the case against you would be weak, especially if you were an upstanding member of society.”

Silver was stunned, “I... I don’t know what to say...”

“Well lets see how thankful you are then, until then I’ll be watching you. Oh, I may not be Luna but,” Cadence leaned in close, “I believe it’s time for you to wake up.”
Silver bolted upright waking up Azure in the process. The foal twisted to face him, “What’s wrong dad?”

The early morning sun came in through the balcony window, the sounds of birds and the pegasus weather team could be heard. For the first time in a long time Silver felt at peace. He looked at his son and said what he now knew to be the truth, “Yeah, everything’s going to be alright.”

Author's Note

It's been a great six year journey with all of you, thank you for reading

Happy April Fools Day Azure!

An Azure Future: Moving On
Happy April Fools Day Azure!

John looked around at the set up, pleased. He had stayed up all night to assure it was set in place.

Two giant elastic bands wrapped around his son's matress. A simple catch with an electrionic release hooked into the alarm bedside. It was set to go off when the alarm stopped.

The alarm was due to go off in ten seconds. John took the small moment to appreciate his work. The alarm went off.

"Uuuhhh..." Azure rolled over and hit the snooze, it was the weekend after all. There was a loud twang as the bands went taught. Unfortanatly, John had made a miscalculation, as the entire bed frame, matress, and pony went out the window. He had calculated for the matress, but the frame was bulky and too large for the window shattering it.

"Well fuck." John swore at the prospect of replacing it.

"What the flying hay dad?!" >Oh right, Azure.<

"Yeah?" He cocked his as if confused.

"What was that about?!"

"Heh. Happy April Fools Day Azure."

"Sometimes Dad..."

Why are you still here?

An Azure Future: Moving On
Why Are You Still Here?

John rolled off the couch onto the floor. It was a hell of a time last night, not that he could he remember it. He was pretty sure it rocked though. "Hey, what time is it?" He asked the ceiling from the floor, John had recently reactivated the penthouse's AI, which he dubbed Alfred. He had deactivated because he liked doing things on his own. Now that he lacked hands he needed the program as much as he hated to admit it.

"It is currently twelve thirty on a Friday afternoon. The temperature is seventy eight degrees with a nice refreshing breeze, perfect for a nice jog. Record shows you haven't done a run in nine years four months and thirteen days." A man's voice with a metallic tinge stated. Has it really been that long?

"Wait, twelve thirty in the afternoon?!" John jumped to his hooves panicking, he was Azure's ride to school and he slept in.

"He flew to school upon seeing he could not wake you from your unconscious state." The disembodied voice answered.

"Oh, um, what about lunch?"

"He made a peanut butter and tulip sandwich with a box of juice."

John felt odd. It was a feeling he never experienced before. His son got up and ready and even went to school by himself. Azure was growing up. It was apparent. I guess it’s true that ponies mature faster, but he's still a colt for now.

"Hm. Well then. I guess I got the rest of the day free then." John tapped a hoof to his muzzle, pondering. "I think I will... go places. Or something. I'll figure it out." John turned and headed out the door, grabbing the small sack of bits on his way. "If I'm not back before Azure is, assure him I don’t care." He called from the doorway before kicking it shut and trotting down the stairs to the top floor.

John surveyed the hallway. It was empty, everypony else at work to pay the absurd rent. He continued down the hallway to the main body of stairs. He looked down the center of the spiraling stairs, gauging it. Then he did an aerial somersault to the center, folded his wings and dead dropped towards the ground floor, flaring his wings at the last possible second for a gentle landing. So much better than an elevator.

"Sir, we don’t allow flying in the building." Cherry Pop, the receptionist called from behind her desk.

"Well thats a stupid rule and I want it gone." John responded as he trotted into the lobby.

"O-oh, Mr. Norris sir! I'm sorry, I-I didn’t know it was you!" She stammered, taken aback. "I'll amend the rules right away!" The peach colored earth pony began frantically sorting through a large binder kept on her side of the marble desk.

"Chill out Cherry, it doesn’t have to happen this second, just get to it whenever. In fact, go take a break. Hell, take tomorrow off. You work too damn hard." John tried, calming the mare down.

"Really sir?" She smiled, hopefully.

"Yeah sure, if your manager has a problem, have him talk to me." John jabbed a hoof at his chest for emphasis.

"Thank you sir!" She called as John exited the building, his hooves making a decidedly happy sound against the marble floor. Her smile grew until she was beaming. Hers was a thankless job and quite stressful. Time off was just what she needed.

The day was bright and cheery, and the streets had much less traffic then when John was usually out and about. Most of the time he just took a nap while Azure was at school. Okay, plan is... there is no plan! Alright, lets do it!

John looked up and down the street, flipped a mental coin and headed right. He half bounced and half trotted down the street. He had the only working active car left, so the street was used as an extended walkway. Though most stuck to the sidewalks out of pure habit.

John wandered aimlessly through the city he lived in almost his whole life. It wasn’t always this big, there was a time, however long ago, it was just a quaint little city. Nothing fancy in the slightest. Then he decided to make the town-city headquarters for Intelligent Designs. With the breakthrough in earthquake proof and automated construction technology that came with the AIs developed there, high rises were erected almost overnight. In a mere matter of months, his hometown surpassed LA as the hub of commerce on the west coast. It could be said that his 'improvements' were what showed the world how useless the working man was and murdered the employment rate, which went from a comfortable 8.4% to 47.8% in a week and kept climbing higher.

John dwelled on his rise to power and effect on the globe. If they teach human history in Equestria, I wonder how my role would be cast? Villain or Savior? John psychically shrugged at his own metaphysical question and carried on down the road.

He hadn’t gone too much further down the road when a small shop he'd never seen before, or at least never took notice of, caught his eye. It had various knick knacks in the window and the promise of more inside. It was the kind of store where one could drop any number of bits they pleased but more importantly it was the exact thing John didn't know he was looking for. Naturally, he headed inside.

The bell tinkled cheerfully as he trotted inside. Inside was various toys, telescopes, instruments, antiques, and much more. The layout was truly impressive. What was more impressive however, was the other shopper. "There is no way thats you because that'd be crazy stupid." John said pointedly at the offending pony.

"Nice to see you too John, how’s Azure?" The pony responded.

"Still dating your daughter." John returned the harmless question with a sharp jest.

"Okay, I’m probably going to regret this but... why are you still here? Celestia is out to make your ass grass. I have to hear the reason. Are there like, underground societies of people that need to be ponified?” John racked his brain to figure out exactly why such a wanted stallion would stay in a spot of such recent activities.

Grey shrugged, "Actually, Forest seems to be quite attached to this place. We've had to move many times due to my work, now that it’s pretty much 'watch and shoot' with the remnants of the human race we can stay. Is it my best idea? Probably not, but she's my little angel and she deserves a stable home for at least a few years." He shrugged as he finished.

"So... wanna grab a bite and catch up?" John offered.

"Sure, why not?"

**************

They found their way to a salad joint that boasted 31 flavors of lettuce. a place dedicated entirely to salad, what an idea. They already had their food in front of them. "So how have you been keeping busy since PER pretty much disbanded?

"Laying low mostly, I have enough bits to hide until the earth's rebirth as equestria, thanks to you." Grey stated while poking his salad with a fork gripped in his magic. "So what have you been up to?"

"Well, being a dad mostly. Taught Azure to fly. Drive him to school. Took him to see a magic show put on by some second rate equestrian show pony two weeks ago. Launched him out a window with his bed. Usual." John shrugged, the past always seemed boring compared to what the future could hold.

"Oh!" Grey perked up, remembering a question he desperately wanted an answer to. "What was your conversion dream like?"

John smiled a little at the faint memory, "Well..."

**********

John was standing, or maybe floating, he couldn’t tell. He was just kinda... there, formless in an empty void, as infinite as it was white. So... this is a conversion dream huh? I don’t see what the big deal is, it’s kinda boring. And lame. And stupid, really stupid. Shouldn’t I be getting life changing, belief shattering experiences right now?

Time ticked on, what seemed like hours passed by. Finally a voice came from the nothing, "Ooo, I'm SO sorry! I wasn’t expecting anyone right now, and I was helping Shining Armor with the boxes, we just got a new place and-" The voice apologized before John cut it off.

"Wait, where are you? Who are you?"

"Oh shoot, I forgot to manifest. Stupid dream world." In front of John the white nothing seemed to shimmer, slowly and surely an alicorn came into existence in front of him. She was a shade of pink with a multi-hued mane. What she wasn’t was Celestia or Luna. "Sorry about that, I'm Princess Cadence, nice to meet you!" The alicorn, Cadence, beamed.

"Wait, I thought Luna and Celestia were the only princesses. Also, that they did these... thingies." John did a waving motion with his nothing.

Cadence looked around at the nothing. "Yeah, they usually do do these things. Auntie Celestia told me I need to do more official government wise. So today I'm covering down for them." The princess shrugged and continued, "To be honest, I have no idea what I'm doing."

"Just my luck then." John rolled the nothing that was his eyes.

"Well, lets see what we have." A scroll appeared in front of the royal pony. "Hmmm, you ruined the earths economy and most of the biosphere almost single handedly. You helped the PER carry out a massive attack on the last vestiges of humanity. The list goes on, but it seems kinda pale in comparison to those offences. Hmmm, also says you wish to teach your son, who is a pegasus, how to fly but your slated for being a unicorn. Well that’s not going to fly, I'll just change that." Her horn glowed for a second and the nothing shifted.

Cadence threw the scroll behind her, where it ceased to exist. "Now as for the laundry list of offences, I'll cut you a deal. Celestia raises the sun, Luna does the moon and night, and I do love. So here’s what I'll do, you are currently single. You will fix that."

"Why?"

Cadence wore a smile more evil than a pony has a right to wear, "I don't have to play nice you know. I know a few nice stallions looking for a special somepony. Then again, I can also have you thrown in jail."

"Uhhh... WELL THEN! I guess I'll get right on that!" Silence permeated the area for a minute. "So... are we do-" The nothing sunk away, the world taking its place.

**********

"Really?" Grey Crusader managed between fits of laughter.

John shrugged, "Yeah, I didn’t even get a real princess. Just some second rate alicorn wannabe. But its not like you drink the juice for enlightenment."

"Well that’s a helluva story." Grey chuckled, his riotous laughter dying down with the end of the story. "We should do this more often, it was fun." Grey sighed. John had been relating the story for the better part of an hour, with plenty of breaks to nibble on the assortment in front of him.

"Well, you know where to find me." John smiled. "Now if you excuse me, Azure is due home any moment and I would do well to be there before him." He stood up and stretched his wings, groaning.

"Yeah, I should probably go pick up Forest. I'll see you around John." The unicorn cracked his neck, then lit his horn. Grey wore a severe look of concentration and vanished suddenly with a pop, teleporting away.

"Yeah, I think I'ma just wait at home..." He muttered to himself before exiting the building and taking off.

**********

John came down to a gentle landing on his balcony. He had left it unlocked ever since he learned how to fly, it was a useful entry and exit point. "Welcome back sir."

"Did Azure come back Al?" John asked as he stepped inside.

"Sorry, but your son has yet to arrive." The melodious synthetic voice rang through the penthouse. There was a slight pause, "Sir, your son has been detected and will be here momentarily."

"Cool, I guess I'm back just in time." John jumped and flipped onto the couch.

"Hey dad, I'm home." Azure called.

"Welcome home Azure." Alfred greeted.

"Hey, so how was school?" John asked, curious.

"Oh! I have something to for you to sign! For a field trip!" The young colt shrugged off his modified backpack and started digging through it. After a few moments he retrieved the sought document. "Here!" He hoofed the permission slip over.

John stared at it for a long moment. "Azure."

"Yeah dad?" He piqued, curious as to what his dad wanted.

"You know I can’t read Equestrian right?" John raised an eyebrow in question. He had been practicing the alien script for the past two weeks, but had yet to master it. "So where is this trip to, when is it, and do they need chaperones?"

"Alright then." John grabbed a pen off one of the lower shelves of the bookcase and signed it. "Here ya go," John hoofed the slip over to Azure who promptly put it in the old backpack. "Now come help me with dinner, we're having casserole. Alfred! Fire up the stove!" John walked towards the kitchen, Azure followed close behind.

__________Notes:

I thought this was going to be a weak boring filler chapter, but then I had a few good ideas and I made it work.

So I had the idea of Cadence doing a conversion dream and thought it’d be hilarious, the more I thought about the better it got. Shes like the goddess of love so that’d make the plot sensible!

Also:

I wrote this in under 50h, a new record! This must be what it’s like to be Chay and pump out a chapter almost erryday.

April Fools Day: Azure's Revenge.

It was a late spring day in california, april fools to be exact. A certain peeved pegaus perfected his pernicious plot. A plan to dye his dad with shade most dastardly. Azure had been around town all day to find enough of the offensive color, filling two buckets poised upon the door frame. Barely held by a delicate balancing act the slightest twicth would send them, and their contents, to the victim below.

Azure had been scheming since his impromptu wake up call sent him hurtling out the window. Flying was fun, but flying to not die and dodging large chunks of very sharp glass was quite another. Shortly after breakfast his father headed out, saying he'd be back "eventually whenever when I feel like it." Without a second to waste, he headed out and formulated his own counter attack.

John hovered silently outside of the window, watch Azure study the door. He'd known his son would try to get him back, after all he was HIS son. There would have to be revenge lessons. This was a pathetic attempt. A whole day and the best he could come up with was dye him when he came through rhe door? He even did the balancing act instead of a trip wire rig.

John sighed and slide the patio door open soundlessly and snuck up, inch by inch, to his son. John paused for a moment, then sprung his trap.

"Boo!" He shouted, making Azure jump and the buckets fall, turning his son pink.

"What the hay dad!" Azure blurted, flabbergasted.

"Father two, Son zero. Better luck next year boy-o."

-_-_-_-_-Author's Notes-_-_-_-_-

Not on hiatus.

Also, realer update soonish.

Then a real real update.

Also, Fuchsia Wind best pony.