Don't Eat The Parasprites!

Chewy, crunchy, ain’t got no clue just what this could be. Might be an orange that just isn’t ready yet, though hopefully this’ll teach the fool who thought to throw his produce into my garden. I work hard to keep these here fresh white onions as good as I can, and some blasted youngster or inconsiderate jerk tosses a perfectly good fruit into my garden, especially on the day before the princess arrives. What in the hay is wrong with some ponies when they think that just because I have onions they’ll taste all the same? I can imagine it now. “Oh, it’ll just compost and be good for the soil.” Fools! It takes a precise study to measure the proper levels of looseness, composition, and decomposed materials to effectively grow onions, or else they simply won’t develop as effectively or taste as well. You can’t just plant a few seeds or sprouts in the ground and expect them to grow all willy nilly, and who knows what the juices from the orange would’ve done to the onion!

Great, now I’m getting all worked up again. I suppose I aughta figure on the best of the situation, might help. I don’t see any more aphids, that’s something to be glad about. Those little critters been raising all sorts of havoc on the onions, and I’d be a whole lot less miffed if they’d at least pay for the ones they bite into. But, them little critters just be too dang dumb to figure it out, and I’d sure be impressed to see one carry around even one bit on themselves. Them little bugs ain’t nothing but grief in disguise, and I’ve already lost enough of my plants on them. Might’ve been the orange that scared them away, aint’ ever heard of that before though. Suppose the garden’s looking presentable enough for the princess’ arrival though, so I guess my work is done, no thanks to that litterbug.

Welp, I suppose it wouldn’t do me any good to go shopping today, on account of everybody getting all bothered with the princess’s arrival, folks will be too busy to serve the common pony. My garden may not be as all dollied up or pretty as everyone else’s, but it ain’t got no need for that fancy paper and paint, it’s beautiful as it is. It ain’t just a bunch of veggies, it’s an entire statement that represents that goodness that life has to offer despite those disrespectful jerks and selfish punks who’d just trot through it to save a few seconds while walking or toss their garbage with not a concern about disrupting the ground or bruising the vegetables under the soil, not a care at all.

The hay am I doing? Getting all worked up just because some miserable dirt bag tosses his junk in my garden? Better snap out of it. Suppose if I got done with my work, I may as well find something or other to do. Welp, off I go, into town. May as well get a good look at everything, not much use to it though since I ain’t got no appreciation for all the banners and paint and the like.

Though it’d be just my luck that the moment I go into town, not much reason but to get an eyeful of the decorations, my stomach starts acting up. Guess I got myself some butterflies in my stomach; don’t know why quite frankly since all I had today was an onion and cucumber sandwich today, which never upset me before. Must be that orange from earlier. I guess I may as well head back home and sleep it off.

I’m in my house, or rather my tiny one bedroom shack with most of the property space dedicated to my most spectacular garden. Ain’t much but it’s enough for me. In the bed I go, ugh, this dang indigestion is only getting worse by the moment. Suppose it’ll have to get worse before it gets better though, so after this bout of whatever the hay this is I’ll feel just dandy.