Flaming Saddles

by TwoBestBroniez

Rating: mature
Tags: Random, Comedy, Romance
Length: 1445

Read in wonderous awe as good intentioned friendship and the magic between best friend implodes into a lustful karmal explosion of random lude acts to satisfy the curiosity of Celestia

What would you do if you were offered one million bits to have sex with you best friends? Disclaimer: this story is not to be taken taken seriously guest appearances by Dirge of Souls and Live and Learn Written by TBB DawnBlaze and brainstormed by TBB Symphonia TBB Animal and TBB NovaSwift. Contains sex Disclaimer no one featured in this story is gay.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-07-02 03:10:01 UTC

Friends with Benefits

Twilight was sitting in her library waiting for her four guests to arrive she had invited DawnBlaze, Forest Hunt, NovaSwift, and Symphonia to the library she wondered why it was taking them so long.

" Hurry up guys were gonna be late to see Twilight." said Forest connecting the other three with his telepathy.

" We're on our way calm down." Replied Dawn.

" I wonder why she called us to her library?" Nova wondered.

" I hope she gives out cookies." added Symphonia while jumping that could rival Pinkie Pie. " By the way does somepony wanna walk on my back."

" Dude, stop complaining about your back you hurt that thing like a year ago. I even prescribed you meds man." argued DawnBlaze.

Twilight was starting to worry if something bad happened they only live a short walk away. DawnBlaze should be here since he is an assistant doctor in Ponyville. The urgent care clinic is relatively close. She heard a knock at the door and said "Oh that must be them." she opened the door to find DawnBlaze had arrived.

"Hey Twilight sorry I'm late, is anypony else here yet?" Observed DawnBlaze looking around the room.

"Yes, Symphonia is in the kitchen baking cookies for some reason." Indicated Twilight.

"Well the others should be here soon we all left around the same time. Also I have your book on modern pony Psychology."

Twilight heard another knock but this time it was on the second story balcony. "Who could that be?" She wondered. She couldn't ask spike to get it because he was away on royal business. She went up the stairs and opened the balcony door to see NovaSwift.

"Hi." she said.

"Hey Twilight anypony else here?" Nova acknowledged. "Sorry I'm late the fly from cloudsdale took a while."

"Yeah Dawn, and Symphonia are downstairs make yourself at home." answered Twilight.

NovaSwift made his way downstairs to find Symphonia making cookies and DawnBlaze reading. "Wait Symphonia why are you baking cookies?" Asked Nova.

"My back hurts. I heard it is a home remedy, but she also didn't have any cookies and I wanted some." Decided Symphonia.

"Well what kind are they?" asked NovaSwift.

"They're Oatmeal with Saltine Crumbs." said Symphonia.

"Okay then, have fun with that." Noted Nova.

Twilight heard another knock at the door this time it was Forest Hunt. "Hello Forest." she spoke.

"Hey Twilight am I the last one to arrive?" Mentioned Forest.

"Yeah everypony else is already here." Answered Twilight.

"Yeah I'm sorry i'm late, long walk." Described Forest.

"Well come in and make yourself comfortable." Twilight commented.

Twilight called them all to the main room they all were excited to hear what twilight had to say "Okay I want you guys to try out these new muffins that Pinkie Pie made." said Twilight.

" Okay, couldn't hurt." Forest declared.

As they all started eating the muffins everypony started to feel weird. "Twilight what's in these muffins." Announced Dawn.

" Well there is blueberries, batter, and Viagra." admitted Twilight with an innocent look on her face.

" Why did you put Viagra in these Muffins?" Asked Dawn.

" Well I don't know how to say this but I need you all to have a Orgy." Said Twilight

" Why might I ask?" Questioned Symphonia.

" I will be recording it and Celestia is paying you for this. You will get 1 million bits each." Twilight responded

" You only need to pay 5 bits for this footlong." said Symphonia

" Nice Symphonia." Dawn laughed while hoof bumping Symphonia. " Twilight I'm in for it I need to buy new equipment." Thought Dawn.

" Nova and I are in to." Forest decided.

" Then we're are all the mares that we are doing this with?" stated Nova.

" Well that's just it this film is going to be a gay porno." said Twilight nervously.

" Woo woo why would you want us to be in a gay porno?" Questioned Dawn.

" Celestia wanted me to pay you to do this to be able to put in the Archives. There has never been a recorded gay porno in history. So she wanted to make history." Explained Twilight.

" Why us?"  Dawn emphasized by making a circular motion with his hoof.

" Celestia seemed to like you guys the most." Twilight said bluntly.

" I never thought about being in a gay porno,... but fuck it." Mentioned Symphonia.

"You can stop with the jokes now." Dawn said

" I need money so I'll do it." Notified Dawn.

" Thank Celestia i'm bi." said Forest.

" Guys why are you not shocked about this, Symphonia what would Octavia say if she saw her brother in gay porn?" Nova exclaimed

" So, she's probably done stuff I haven't seen with that other mare Vinyl." Noted Symphonia.

" Yeah, besides Nova one million bits is a lot of money." advised DawnBlaze

" But guys she is probably gonna make us... you know nevermind I ain't gonna win this argument." admitted Nova

" Ok then here's the thing Celestia doesn't want this to look planned so I will have to explain this to you." said Twilight.

After twenty minutes of explaining what's going to happen they began filming the movie. DawnBlaze sat in the house reading a book. When he heard a knock at the door he went over to it and opened it. He saw three ponies standing outside.

Symphonia stated. " I'm here to clean your pipes."

" Okay come on in" ordered DawnBlaze

The second pony Forest Hunt noted. " I'm here to deliver the pizza with sausage."

" Okay come in." repeated DawnBlaze

The last Novaswift said bluntly. " I'm here for the porn video."

" CUT." said Twilight " We are supposed to make this look natural.".

" Fine." said NovaSwift.

So she kept the footage up till NovaSwift came in and he said he was a mailman here to deliver a special package.

So when they all got in they all sat down and Twilight signaled that she wanted DawnBlaze to go to Symphonia, and Nova to go to Forest.

When Symphonia went over to DawnBlaze he said "Come butter me up Marshmallow" Twilight with the camera started laughing hysterically because DawnBlaze is white colored with orange hair.

At the other side of the room with Nova and Forest. Forest said " I've never had a black pony before."

Nova replied " Once you go black you never go back."

DawnBlaze noticed Symphonia still had his apron and he said " That apron looks very becoming on you of course if I was on you I'd be cumming too."

Symphonia responded " Legs is the word of the day lets go spread the word."

So they started to get right to it, but then a red pony fell through the roof they recognized him his name was Dirge. " Oh sorry, if I'm interrupting something I'll just be going." Dirge Laughed nervously as he tried to run for the door.

Symphonia yelled. " Oh no you don't." and got out a rope to lasso dirge and tied him up.

Forest asked where he got the rope and he replied. "From Applejack."

"But she's not here." Objected Dawn.

"Exactly." Said Symphonia as he force fed Dirge the viagra muffin and told him what we were doing. He said he would be in it for the money.

They heard a knock at the door and saw a blue pony called Live we explained the plan and he agreed now they started again.

Forest looked at Nova's nutsack and said. "Wow those look saltier than my saltines."

They saw the CMC walk in and all of them say in unison. "Twilight can we borrow a-" They cut mid sentence and immediately walked away from the scene with blank stares on their faces.

Dawn could see Twilight in the back clopping to this and he asked. "You like what you see?" She nodded in reply.

The movie was over a few minutes later and they all received pay and Nova said "Yeah let's never talk about this again." They all agreed and started to leave.

On his way home DawnBlaze noticed the CMC and they walked up to him and said. " Mister why did you do those things with those other guys."

Dawn just kept walking and replied. " For money I did it for the money."

Twilight seemed to have learned a lesson of friendship from all this somehow, and wrote Celestia a friendship lesson letter while also sending a copy of the video to her.

The End