Testicle letters are from ponies

by sputnikpony

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Slice of Life
Length: 1210

Nurse Healthyheart gives men educational health advice (for your health)

Nurse Healthyheart gives men educational health advice (for your health)

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-07-02 02:21:13 UTC

appropriate interaction with stallions

Nurse Healthyhearts has seen a lot on the job. Big battle field and trauma scarred her pony mind, she’s seen things. She takes a swig of the vodka and turns to her advice column.

Stumpydick writes:

Lately I've been having this strange feeling in my right testicle. It's sort of a slight pain yet numbing/tingling feeling. I went to the doctor and he felt around and said he couldn't find anything. After hearing this, I'm still having this feeling that something is wrong, and now a couple of days after wards, I can't really get and keep an erection. So my first question is, could this be from some malfunction with my testicles or the stress of worrying about what MIGHT be wrong?

Also, when I was checking myself, on the right testicle it felt like it was disconnected (for lack of a better word) from the veins or arteries that are supposed to be attached. It felt like the vein was looser than it is on the left one, like it was coming apart. I (gentle) tap on both testicles regularly to make sure I still have feeling in both (which I do). I haven't had an MRI or X-Ray done yet to know for sure, but my second question is, if my testicle was "disconnected" what would be the symptoms?

Her pencil is shit, pencillin not much better. Healthyhearts writes down a reply:

Your testicles can't simple disconnect...If you had a serious issue with a ruptured vein or artery, you scrotum would be black and blue, huge, and you would be in SO much pain. If you are not comfortable with your doc's general diagnosis, then I suggest you make an appointment with a Urologist to ease your mind. :0) I'm sure you're okay and your lack of ability to get an erection is simply stress related... Try to relax as much as you can and get your mind onto other things. IF this persists for a few days, or you are having difficultly peeing (weak stream, broken stream)...then that would be an indication that something might be off.

Stumpyhooves writes: Am I growing properly? Alright all weirdness aside.. But I'm asking about my Penis.. I'm currently 13 and I have a 7 1/2 "Penis.. I'm not trolling I am asking a legitimate question. Am I" small"?

Healthyhearts frowns and replies: Dude just stop trolling. You’re not 7 1/2. Your prob about 4 to 4 1/2. Don't worry about penis size anyway it really doesn't matter. Anything above 5 in is average or above average.

Caramel Hooves writes:

Hi guys, I am a bisexual and I am in nearly 21 and i have got this really embarrassing problem. When i am with any male partners I get an erection but its not that hard and I loose it before i even ejaculate, if i am with any female partners then I get an erection but sometimes its just not too hard and if i take my mind somewhere else i loose the erection really fast

First time I had this problem was when I was having sex with a girl and I just was changing positions and my penis was soft after that it won't get up. before going to the doctor i wanted to check if this is just a phase and will go away or should i visit a doctor ?

Also I pee like a lot if I drink a glass of water i would pee 2-3 times in the next hour and if i drink water before I sleep even if half a glass I would have to wake up 3-4 times to pee which is really annoying.

Healthyhearts is pleased to announce:

Make some lifestyle changes. No smoking - no beer/ale - no booze - no drugs. ANY of these can interrupt blood flow to your penis resulting in diminished libido & cause erectile dysfunction or impotence.

For Young Stallions suffer from a low sex drive, sexual performance problems, and an overall lack of male virility. These problems can negatively impact a man's self-esteem, sense of self-worth, and the quality of his romantic relationships. However, problems with male virility and sexual functioning can be, in most cases, remedied. What follows is a list of lifestyle, health, and dietary factors that promote strong male virility and improved sexual function and performance.

Step 1 - GET ADEQUATE SLEEP

Your body needs adequate amounts of sleep in order to maximize sexual performance and sexual virility. A lack of sleep is a major cause of low sex drive and/or sexual problems. Strive to get at least 7-9 hours of sleep each night to increase and maintain sexual virility. Take afternoon rests or naps when possible.

Step 2 - DE-STRESS REGULARLY

Chronic stress is toxic to the body and can negatively impact sexual virility and sexual function. Strive to keep stress levels as low as possible in order to maximize not only your health and well-being, but to increase your sexual virility and sex drive. Meditate on a regular basis; do yoga moves in addition to deep breathing exercises to help unwind and de-stress.

Step 3 - EXERCISE REGULARLY

In addition to improving mental and physical health, regular exercise promotes healthy sexual function and helps to improve sexual virility. Aim to exercise at least 4-5 times per week, incorporating moderate cardiovascular exercise in addition to strength training. Regular exercise promotes healthy blood circulation and increases testosterone and growth hormone levels, all of which promote increased sexual virility and sexual function.

Step 4 - ELIMINATE JUNK FOOD

Eating a healthy diet promotes physical and emotional health as well as healthy sexual function and virility. A poor diet, one lacking in adequate nutrients and antioxidants, can result in a low sex drive and sexual performance problems, including impotence. Eat a diet heavy in fruits and vegetables, whole grains, lean cuts of meat and fish, and low-fat dairy to increase sexual virility and improve sexual function.

Step 5 - ADD GARLIC TO YOUR DIET

Garlic is rich in allicin, which can improve blood flow to the sexual organs, which in turn promotes healthy sexual function and strong, hard erections. Cut up some garlic and sprinkle it on your favorite foods. Or take a garlic supplement. Garlic is a sexual super food that can increase your sexual virility.

Step 6 - ADD AVOCADO TO YOUR DIET

Avocados are rich in folic acid and high in vitamin B6, both of which help to regulate sexual hormone function, which in turn helps to optimize sexual health and sexual virility. Add some avocado slices to your salad or on your sandwich.

Step 7 - EAT A BANANA DAILY

Bananas are another sexual super food that can help improve sexual function and increase sexual virility. Bananas are high in bromelain and b vitamins, both of which are potent sexual hormone regulators that can help improve sexual function, sexual desire, and sexual virility. Add a banana to your daily diet.

Nurse Healthyheart puts down the pen and gives a satisfied sigh. Another day helping the young and stupid stallions of Equestr. Her career will go places and in the future she will be a rich prominent lawyer. Men’s health. Thanks a lot.