The Ponies, The Echidnas, and the Downright Dumb Plumbers.

by MetroPone

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random, Crossover, Human
Length: 4050

A human, a pony, a echidna, and a dumb plumber go to a hotel. What could go wrong?

This story is canceled due to the hatred that everyone's giving this story. I thought I did well on this though…

Chapters 0-3 are introductions, and Chapter 4+ will have actual storylines to them.

This is just a story about me moving into a hotel room to stay for a few months, which happens to be in Equestria. The hotel has a policy saying that if the hotel is filled, they will have to let people into your room (if you want them to that is)
So 3 people come to my room. I let them all in. Here’s the list:
1. Rainbow Dash (The Pony)
2. Knuckles (The Echidna)
3. Mario (The Downright Dumb Plumber)
What could possibly go wrong?

Please keep in mind that the Mario that is not the mario you grew up with, rather, he's more…dumb as the title implies.

The first two chapters are released first day. I shall try to get the other chapters out bi-daily whenever I can.

Please note that this version is going to be different from the DeviantArt journal post version that I did, which that one is the exact opposite as this, they all got to my dimension via dimension traveling (a long time ago), and in this version, we all go to Equestria instead. I do this to abide by the rules, and to give myself a little challenge. I don't want to write a story and post it the same way twice on two sites, so yeah.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-07-05 04:38:01 UTC

Chapter #1: Laptops, Spaghetti, and the Really Old Towers.

So after they settled in and started unpacking, I asked Rainbow Dash how she was doing, because she got to my dimension via some portal herself.

“I haven’t seen you in a long time Rainbow Dash! How’ve you been?” I asked.

“I’m doing great! You?” Rainbow said.

“Oh just the usual. I got here by finally completing that inter-dimensional portal device that I was working on! Why are here guys?”

“Well, I got here because I tripped down a hole, don't laugh at me, but anyways when I woke up, I found myself here.” Knuckles said.

“Toad told me that there was spaghetti here. Where is it?” Mario said.

As you can see, Mario here is like how he acts from those videos made by Supermarioglitchy4, anyone hear of him?

“Uhh...is that really why you're here? Did you check the restaurant at the bottom floor?” I asked.

“I’ll check there! I know the fast way down!” Mario said.

Then Mario jumped out the window. He landed with a loud thud on the concrete. He got up like nothing happened and re-entered the door.

“Uhh...what the heck?” Rainbow Dash said confusingly.

“Yeah, heard of this guy named Supermarioglitchy4?” I said.

“I see what’s going on now” RD said.

So the others (besides mario, who’s still looking for spaghetti) were still unpacking, and Knuckles got out his laptop at the same time RD got out her laptop. I became curious of their stats...

“Hey guys, what’s your laptop stats?” I said

“Mine is a Intel Core i5,” says Rainbow Dash “with a GeForce GTX 690 GPU”

“Interesting, mine is a Intel Core i7 with a cruddy Intel HD Graphics 4000. How about you Knuckles?”

“Ohh...crap I brought my work laptop. My gaming laptop at home has a Intel i7 just like yours with a GeForce GTX 690 likes yours Rainbow. My work laptop has a Intel Duo Core 2 and Intel HD Graphics 2000” Knuckles said while being a tad bit embarrassed.

Me and Dash chuckled quite a bit at that. Anyways, we got everything set up, then finally Mario comes back upstairs.

“Oh hey guys, did you hear that explosion earlier?”

“What explosion?” We said.

“Oh good, you didn’t hear it-oh, erm...”

We all had the face of total shock. I took a heavy sigh.

“What did you do this time Mario?” I say as I bury my face in my hand.

“I blew up the restaurant because they didn’t give me any more spaghetti.”

We were even more shocked. You can really tell why I called mario the Downright Dumb now. So I laid down, and got my gaming laptop out, and launched The Ship.

“What game is this? Can I play?” Mario asked

“Don’t you have your own laptop Mario?” I asked.

He looked at me with a derpy face.

“I do...” he says as he walks slowly to his bag.

He pulls out an old tower computer. He has not yet failed to make us put on our shocked face everytime he does something dumb.

“Seriously Mario? That’s your...*ahem* LAPTOP?” Knuckles said.

“My computer has a Pentium II, so suck it down!” Mario replied.

“Do you think we should kick him?” Rainbow whispered into my ear.

“Until he does something really dumb, no” I whispered back.

“Yeah, but what if that really dumb thing is setting the hotel on fire?”

“Good point...but still, let’s keep him here for the sake of it.”

“Look...Mario...there’s not even enough room in this...room to put your computer! Why did you bring that piece of junk anyways?” Knuckles exclaimed.

“Guys, guys! Can’t we just settle this by having mario put back his computer, and giving him your laptop while I go get your gaming laptop?” Rainbow Dash said.

“How are you supposed to get it?” He asked.

“By flying, duh!”

"Well there's a dimension you have to go through just to get to it" he replied.

"She can borrow my dimension traveling device for now"

“Well it'd better be snappy, and Mario, if you so much as delete a file on here, you'll find out the reason why they call me Knuckles. Anyways, here have the address” Knuckles says as he gives her his home address.

So Rainbow Dash went off to get the laptop. Knuckles got an account set up for mario, and the second he got the account logged in, Rainbow Dash was back with his gaming laptop. Knuckles thanked her, and we were all happy. We played until late that night, when we all fell asleep.

Chapter #2: Dawn of Second Day- 48 hours not remaining

So I wake up to find Rainbow Dash sleeping on my belly. I wanted to get out of bed, but I didn’t want to wake up her. I looked around the room and I noticed that Mario wasn’t there. I had a good thought on why he wasn’t in here. Rainbow Dash woke up minutes later anyways.

I looked at the clock, and realized it was 4PM. Dang timezones...anyways, we snuck out of bed, trying not to disturb Knuckles and grab something to eat. The vending machines almost didn’t give us what we wanted, but after a light kick it gave us food. While we were going back to our room, Mario happened to cross by us.

“Where were you at Mario?” Rainbow asked.

“I was trying to see if the vending machines had spaghetti in them. None of them did.”

We walked away like we didn’t even know he was there at that point.

“So, why are you here Rainbow?”

“Oh, I just wanted to hang by somewhere, so I found this hotel that I conveniently floated over by. Probably because of you I’m going to be staying here longer than expected.”

We both gave each other light hugs, and smiled at each other. We got to our room, and saw Knuckles was awake.

“Oh hey there guys. Mornin’.” Knuckles said, yawning.

“Good morning” We both said.

“Well, we’re off to an early start, it’s 4:02 PM.”

“Eeyup” I said.

“Well we’re going outside to see the sunrise” Rainbow says as she nudges me in the side.

“Ok, catch ya later.” Knuckles says as he pulls out his gaming laptop.

We set outside and found a field not too far away from us, it’s like what, a few blocks away? Anyways, we watched the sunrise. It was beautiful from this angle, and from where I lived, it was just the sun rising reaaaaaaaaaaal slowly. Here, it just rises and almost blinds you. No really, my eyes were seeing funny things the second the sun rose. Ever had that feeling?

“Wow, that was...just...I can’t describe it!” Rainbow Dash said while in awe.

“I know...” I replied.

Eventually we got up and gone to get something to eat for breakfast. After that, we went back to the hotel, only to find Mario...dancing around naked? Outside the hotel?

“Dude, wh-wha-WHAT? Mario, put some clothes on!” Rainbow Dash said whilst being shocked...again

“But this guy on the internet said I could get money this way” Mario replied.

We just ran inside the hotel.

“You know that guy?” Someone said to us.

“Uhh...no, we thought he was someone else...” I said.

We walked to the elevator and waited for it to come down, went in, and gone back to our room. Knuckles wasn’t in there, so we sat down and played some games. Sorry, I lied, we dashed to the elevator, embarrassed.

So after a good couple of rounds in Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed, Mario came back yet again, while we were on our 3rd race.

“I saw Luigi around here somewhere, now I don’t know where he went.”

“Good for you.” Dash said, trying to focus on the game.

“I’ll just grab my shotgun.” Mario said, calmly I might add.

“Whatever” we both said at the same time.

After the 4th race was done and over with, we just realized what he actually said. It was right then Mario came back once again.

“I took care of Luigi alright. So, what were you guys doing?”

Luigi just runs behind him and punches him in the back.

“Why did you do that?” Luigi retaliated

“I’ve got a good question too. Why are you still alive?” Mario said surprisingly.

“I’ve got a even better question. Why can’t you two leave?” I said.

The both of them looked at eachother, then slowly backed away...

“Mario’s starting to really get on my nerves.” Rainbow Dash said.

“Mine too.” I replied.

Chapter #4: Those who are evil live thrice

We got back into the hotel and let Twilight settle down in the hotel, and we found Knuckles was back.

“Hey guys, I got some Cola here, anyone want one?”

“Sure!” we all announced.

So he passed us (rather, threw) us all a bottle, it was then he noticed Twilight was there.

“So, who are you?” Knuckles asked Twilight.

“I’m Twilight Sparkle, I recently became a princess! You?” Twilight told him

“I’m Knuckles the Echidna, I somehow got here through a portal.” He replied.

By this point, I’m hoping Knuckles has kept a robotic dog on Angel Island...well wait a minute, he did last time I remember.

“Say, anypony seen Mario around here?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“I could have sworn I saw him enter some cave earlier after you guys left.” Knuckles said.

“That can’t be good...” I said.

Right then, mario finally came back.

“HI GUYS!” Mario exclaimed.

“Hi Mario...” I said annoyed.

“What are you up to this time mario?” Asked Knuckles, who was also annoyed.

“I just peeved off this thing that has multiple body parts from different animals!”

“Wait what?” Knuckles said confusingly.

Me, Rainbow Dash, and Twilight Sparkle were silent, for we knew exactly who he was talking about.

“Do you realize what you have done Mario?” Twilight said.

“No I haven’t, you weird talking pony. For that matter, how can any of you but him talk?” He said as he pointed at me.

“Don’t question the logic, you fight a fat, giant turtle who named himself King Bowser, whom kidnapped a princess who rules over an entire land filled with people that wear mushrooms with caps and they are all known as Toad. And to top it all off, mushrooms make you 10 feet tall, and fire flowers make you throw fire out of your hands. Do I need to go on?” I said.

“...But anyways, we need to get out of here before something bad happens.” Twilight Sparkle said.

“I think it’s too late for that” Rainbow Dash said, looking out the window.

We all looked out the window too. We saw the streets made out of butter and soap, we saw the street lights become a source of rain, we saw it raining chocolate from cotton candy clouds...you get the point don't you?

To confirm our suspicions, we heard a evil laughter that sounded like...Discord.

“I thought we neutralized him!” said Rainbow Dash.

“We reformed him, and it looks like he changed back...” said Twilight Sparkle.

“Whoever he is, I think I want to give him a piece of my mind” Knuckles said.

“And I want to steal his spaghetti! ALL OF IT.” Mario said.

Little did we know, Discord was behind us the entire time. So we turned around, and obviously got surprised.

“Hahahaha! You fools think you can take out me?” Discord said.

Mario then pointed a gun at him.

“I WANT TO BE THE SPAGHETTI KING.”

“You what now?”

“I WANT TO BE SPAGHETTI KING NAO”

Discord turned his gun into a water gun, which mario proceeded to use. Then he made mario disappear altogether.

“Now then, you really think you can destroy me?”

“Discord, we’ve used the element of harmony on you once, threatened you another time, and you’re saying we can’t beat you?” Twilight Sparkle said.

Also, I lied again, Mario didn’t disappear, he just teleported somewhere else in the hotel.

“SURPRISE SON!” Mario said pointing a machine gun at him.

It was that opportunity that he got distracted that Twilight used her magic and turned him back into stone, while wearing her crown. But the rest of the Elements of Harmony weren’t used.

“See Rainbow Dash, I told you we should have kept Mario.” I said.

“What did you just say?” Mario said.

“Nothing...” I said.

"Now, where's my spaghetti?" Mario asked.

Chapter #5: Normality, be No More!

After that “intense” battle with Discord, we decided to kick back and play some more games. It’s all we do, we’re pretty much gaming addicts. Even Twilight is a gaming addict. Since we already had 4 players, Mario was pretty much left out.

“Okay screw you guys, I’m going to do something much more fun than play games with a homo teen, a random echidna, and 2 ponies who are used in rule 34...things!” Mario said.

We all sighed.

Meanwhile, Mario was lurking around town, trying to cause mayhem, but instead of causing mayhem around him, he was causing mayhem to himself. He didn’t care anyways.

Then he somehow ended up in the clouds (and could somehow stand on them, despite his weight being 100K tons). He found a pyramid crystal, and what did he do with it? He threw it out. The second it hit land...

“What the? My controller just flown across the room!” I said.

“My hair is all messed up!” Twilight said.

“I CAN’T STOP PUNCHING MYSELF OWOWOWOWOWOWOW” Knuckles said...while punching himself.

“I can’t stop flying into things!” Rainbow Dash said while...flying all over the room.

Mario then landed into our hotel room, breaking the roof while at it. Pieces of the pyramid crystal were scattered in the room when the hole was created, and Twilight happened to know what it was.

“MARIO!” Twilight exclaimed.

“What do you want this time you pony form of Barney?”

“You broke the Pyramid Crystal of Normality!”

The rest of us said “Wait WHAT?!”

“Well excuuuuuuuse me princess!” Mario said.

“Well since he-OW...” Knuckles pulled away his...knuckles from his face.

“As I was saying, since he was the one who destroyed it, why not let Mario find another one to replace it?” he continued.

“I agree.” Rainbow Dash said while tightening the rope around her wings to prevent herself from flying all over the place.

“Yeah, let’s do th-STOP CHASING ME CONTROLLER!” I got interrupted by the controller, being chased around by.

“Why am I the one that has to do everything?” Mario said.

“Because nobody likes you. Now get out and do what we said.” Knuckles said as he pushes Mario out and closes the door.

“Always telling me what to do...” Mario said to himself.

“What was that?” Rainbow Dash said.

“Nothing...I’m going on my way...” Mario said, then grumbling to himself.

“Now...where to find one...” Mario said to himself...again.

“I know! THE DUMPSTER!”

If I was his dad...no wait I wouldn’t be his dad because nobody likes him.

After searching the dumpster, all he found was an bag of spaghetti that was already eaten.

“Okay...now then...let’s go see if that guy across the street has it” He says to himself as he walks toward a magic shop.

“Welcome!” The cashier says as Mario enters.

“Do you have a weird floating pyramid crystal thing that can balance normality? Because this dog on my is starting to annoy me.”

“I do! It’s on sale for 1 coin.”

“Let’s see here...nope I don’t have a coin.”

A momentary pause was going on...

Then Mario just took it and somehow flew up to the clouds, all while saying “SUCKER!”

“Okay...now, how do I do this...I shall use chanting words!”

Then Mario used chanting words. Which didn’t work.

“WORK YOU PIECE OF AFHSOFUGSUHUIG”

He threw the pyramid toward a base meant for the pyramid, which then it started to float and rotate.

Meanwhile, back at the hotel, the controller stopped chasing me.

“BAD CONTROLLER. BAD.” I said.

“I guess Mario restored normality” Twilight said.

“He did, but that won’t help the fact I have a black eye now” Knuckles said.

Mario then lands through the roof of the hotel, again.

“HI GUYS!” Mario exclaimed.

“Hi Mario...” I said annoyed.

“Didn’t we do this already?” Knuckles said.

“I just fixed that pyramid triangle. I stole it from this guy who was selling it for a coin!” Mario said.

“What, you couldn’t afford something that costed a coin?” Rainbow Dash said while laughing.

“What do I look like, a bank?” Mario said.

The room gone silent.

Chapter #6: Mario's DooM

“I got my hair redone by Rarity, do you guys think it looks nice?” Twilight says as she enters.

“It looks better than before, that’s for sure.” Knuckles says.

“And look here, mario’s gone again...” I say.

Everyone takes a heavy sigh.

We could barely hear Mario in the hotel right then.

“Hey Luigi!” Mario said.

“WHAT IS IT?” Luigi exclaimed.

“It’sa time for you to die!” Mario said.

“Let go of me Mario!” Luigi said.

“OKAY” Mario said.

We assume he dropped Luigi off of the hotel for we heard a loud thud. But since their Mario & Luigi, we knew he was going to be okay...I mean, Mario’s jumped off the hotel once and it looked like he hopped an inch instead of going down 20 stories (check chapter 1 for proof).

We didn’t see Mario come back in the room though. Me and Twilight ended up getting bored and grabbed a book to read, while Rainbow Dash and Knuckles were playing Super Street Fighter IV.

We should have stopped Mario from going on and about, but we didn’t because we really didn’t feel like it.

Now let’s go to Mario.

“Psst.” Someone said from a corner.

“Who was that? Is there free spaghetti from where you’re from?” Mario said.

“Yeah yeah we have spaghetti alright...” He says and then smickers.

“What’s so funny, I like spaghetti?” Mario says.

“Oh nothing...just come on over here.”

“Alright, where’s my spaghetti?” Mario says.

“I’ll give you the spaghetti, but you got to do something first.” The stranger says.

“I have to cook it?” Mario says.

“No, all you have to do is place your hand when I place my hoof on this here.” He shows him a mysterious device, cleverly named “DooMsday”

“Okay...” Mario says as he puts his hand in there.

“Perfect...now here’s your spaghetti” He says as he runs away.

“At least I got what I wanted” He says as he eats it.

“Wait a minute...that device was named DooMsday...THIS CAN MEAN ONLY ONE THING!” He says to himself.

“MOAR SPAGHETTI!” He says as he punches it, causing destructive forces to rise from the ground.

Back at the hotel...

“It feels like we’re having an earthquake!” Twilight Sparkle says.

“Or maybe it’s mario being a idiot like per usual” I said.

Right then, a demon entered our room.

“Anyone want to bet Mario was behind this?” Rainbow Dash said.

“I’ll put all my money on that bet.” Knuckles says as he punches the demon right in the jaws.

“Well I’m going to see where Mario is right now so we can figure out what’s causing all of this.” Rainbow Dash says.

So she dashes off (ooh, a [bad] pun) to find Mario, while we defend our self.

“WHERE’S MAH SPAGHETTI?” Mario’s not happy that the DooMsday device isn’t giving him spaghetti. Eventually it breaks, and it so happens that Rainbow Dash found him right as he broke it.

“Mario, I’m betting you’re behind this.” She says as she shows her the demons that have been unleashed.

Mario pushes her to the side, while screaming “SPAGHETTI DEMONS. GIVE ME YOUR SPAGHETTI!”

“Oh for pete sakes...” Rainbow Dash says to herself.

Meanwhile, we’re still trying to defend ourselves with everything we can.

So after about 10 centuries (felt time), it seemed that they have stopped coming.

“I can barely feel my hands” Knuckles said.

“My head hurts real bad” Twilight said.

“Let’s just call it a day and kick mario out guys...” I said right when Rainbow Dash entered.

“I agree...” Rainbow Dash said.

Chapter 0: Prologue

After all my hard work, it was finally done. A alternate dimension traveling device! It took me 10 years to make, not including jobs and stuff, so actually 15 years. Man it took a long time. So anyways, I tested it out. I set the destination to Equestria, because what other place could I go to? And I set the date of having to come back here to 3 months.

So when I got there, I ended up going to this hotel. This isn't going to be a creepy story, stay here. Anyways, this hotel was named...Hotel. Straight down to the point. I checked in, and put my bags in my room. That’s when I got my card of rules. Thankfully it was English on the back, albeit broken English (because they do speak english, they just can't write in regular english, don't try to comprehend that).

I read it all through, but there was one rule, near the middle, that stated the following:

“If hotel is full, guests can fill into your room if with consent.”

Lemme translate that to normal english:

“If this hotel is filled with guests, then new guests can go live with you in your room, under your consent”

So yeah, a little bit crazy, but okay. It was about a couple days in and the hotel was filled! Thankfully I got there in time, huh? A little later that day, some guests entered. 3 of them were chosen to come to my room and see if I would let them in. I let them in, and I'll tell you why just by showing you the names of them: Rainbow Dash, Knuckles, and Mario. You can see where I got the title for this story from.

And now, let us begin!

Chapter #3: Legend of Zelda - Almost Twilight Princess

So, we woke up early in the morning (again), with rainbow dash sleeping on me (again), and we get food from a vending machine (again). However, knuckles and mario left the bed before us. So we went to see where they went. We found knuckles, pretty much when we started searching.

“Oh hey knuckles” I said.

“Hey! I was just chilling here” Knuckles replied.

“Ok, have you seen mario?”

“Nope.”

“Darn.”

We walked away, not knowing where mario was. For all we knew, he could be burning the hotel right now and we wouldn’t know it until it was far too late. Or maybe jumping off of buildings just to get spaghetti. Or attempting to be spiderman and try to climb up a wall. This list can go on.

After giving up hope for finding Mario (and making sure he wasn’t being an dummy again), we decided to go out to grab something to eat, because you know, mario bombed the restaurant? Why is this place still open when the restaurants destroyed anyways? And why isn’t Mario arrested?

We’re getting off topic...anyways, we went off and found that they had...GameStop?

“Hey, they brought GameStop over here! Sweet!” Rainbow Dash said as she...dashed toward it.

“Wait a minute!” I said trying to catch up with her.

We eventually bought some games, one in particular being LoZ: Twilight Princess, a game I never got to play. We got the Wii version.

“So, you say you’ve never played this? But this is like, the best Legend of Zelda game ever!” Rainbow Dash started saying.

“Meh, I cou-”

Twilight Sparkle bumped into us.

“Ow...” we all pretty much said.

“Sorry, we didn’t see you there...wait a minute, Twilight Sparkle!” I exclaimed happily

“Hey, it’s you! I haven’t seen you in forever!” She said.

We’ve actually know each other since she was a filly, I don't want to get into too much major detail, but she somehow ended up on Earth, I raised her, and a portal came and grabbed her back later on.

“Well, this was quite unexpected” I said.

“Yeah, can we go ahead and go back to the hotel?” Rainbow Dash said.

“Oh, you guys are staying at a hotel? Can I come?” Twilight asked.

“Sure!” Rainbow said.