Author's Note

What happens when a cheap joke in an earlier chapter becomes foreshadowing? The next and final chapter is coming soon...ish!

Chapter 8

They say that when somepony’s life is at its lowest point, when the sorest of humiliations is about the strike and there’s nothing the pony in question can do to avoid it, nopony to help him, time stops or at least the brain perceives it as stopping. Maybe because it was a natural reaction to find a solution in those dilated instants or just find as much as solace as possible one could’ve found before tragedy struck him down.

When Rainbow Dash opened her eyes she realized time did stop for everypony else! Sweet Apple Acres was immersed in a grainy, grayish filter as her friends, her parents and even Pinkie’s dad were motionless statues, frozen in the actions they were performing at the time the unknown event happened, with only the pegasus still moving and breathing, unaffected by that mysterious magic.

Twilight and Applejack brought a hoof to their mouth in shock. Twilight’s expression was absolutely shocked, bloodshot eyes and all. The moment he opened that mouth, her intelligence allowed her to put two plus two together and Dash’s lie...Pinkie and Dash’s lie would fall apart. Her world would fall apart. Funny how the same problems always turned up to bite her in the tail.

If she were a stronger pony, she would tell the truth to the friend that not only allowed her to have a foal as well, but immediately agreed to help her raise them...such a friend didn’t deserve such a thing. More than anypony else she didn't’ deserve to know it that way.

Not now. Not like this.

Pinkie Pie still clung desperately at her filly friend, her eyes closed in a saddened grimace. Dash gave her a caress on the cheek as delicately as possible, afraid to hurt her in any way, and slipped out of her still locked forelegs.

Fluttershy toppled a tower of cupcakes (which Pinkie still had to explain her when the hay she baked them) and stood immobile, scattered in the air like stars in a constellation. Rarity was serving herself a glass of punch, still telekinetically lifted and about to be brought to her lips.

Firefly struck her forehead with a hoof, gesture that could’ve been used as a front page for the whole day they arrived in Ponyville, obviously. Her poor mom...she hated herself for having let her know this way. A mare so gentle, patient and understanding enough to not be driven mad by Pinkie Pie antics didn’t deserve to know such a thing in that rude way.

Then, there was him. Now there was somepony Firefly didn’t deserve...

The drink he spilled didn't’ even hit the ground before he opened his stupid cake hole and ruined her life. To add insult to injury the punch was only inches to land on Rarity’s mane. He was one word, one word, to spill her secret in front of her friends and Pinkie’s dad before the unknown intervention!

Where did Pinkie’s dad came from by the way?

Such awesome stupidity had to be admired. She wondered if she could still punch him in that stupid face before time reprised its course. In fact, she raised her trembling hoof towards his face, took a deep breath, struggling to get a punch right on his stupid nose and…

She couldn’t do it.

At all.

He was her dad. He taught her to fly, he always told her that she mattered, that she was awesome and loved her dearly even if she...wasn’t fully a she. He may have made a joke once, true, and broke her heart in tiny pieces but he always loved her, no matter what. He wasn’t perfect and certainly couldn’t hold his tongue...but she loved him!

Then she turned her mind towards the most immediate problem and the immobile atmosphere surrounding the place. “What the hay happened?!

“I’m quite sure kids these days put it as ‘I saved your sorry hide’, my dear Rainbow Dash,” a suave, familiar tone of voice came from one of the cupcakes. Said cupcake had a goatee, a pair of evil, intelligent eyes and a small fang sticking out of the cupcake winked and Dash jumped back in the air.

“Aaargh! What the hay?”

“I get the worst reactions for my presence.” The cupcake gurgled and spit out a long, sinuous figure with mismatched paws and horns, a long, red dragon tail and a mischievous smirk from which stuck out a perky fang. A smirk that once made Equestria tremble and now its owner lived in one of her best friend’s cottage. Most of the time. “How’s your day going, Rainbow Dash?”

“Discord!” she launched herself in the air and lunged after the Spirit of Chaos, passing through him like he was made of air. In fact, with a snap of his fingers and a sigh he turned himself into a goatee sporting cloud.

“Is that a joke?” Rainbow rolled her eyes, upset for the umpteenth failed attempt to vent her frustrations on a face she didn’t particularly like.

“No, that wasn’t a joke. This is a joke: why did the pegasus crossed the street? Because—”

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m helping a dear friend of my friend, wasn’t that obvious?” Discord chuckled. “Dear Fluttershy told me everything about you and Pinkie Pie and looks like I came just in the nick of time. By the way, congratulations!” he offered his paw to Rainbow Dash, but she quickly scoffed at the Spirit of Chaos.

“Helping me? Why?”

“Because if the last couple of months skimmed right past your pretty multicolored head I’m a force of good now.” He drew a small halo around his head with a finger and lit it with a snap of his fingers. “A friend of my friend is my friend and I took pity for you. That’s why.”

“Sooo...what? Have you been spying on me or something?"

“I just happened to pass by in your time of need. Granted, you screamed so loud this morning that you managed to wake me up and now I’ve got a headache!” he rubbed the sides of his head, steam coming out of his ears. “An impressive feat for sure. Who wouldn’t be at least a little curious? I heard from Fluttershy about yours and Pinkie’s little bundles of joy and I happened to...sneak into the party for your parents. To be honest, I hoped to just get a cupcake.”

Rainbow looked at the still unmoving cupcakes and shuddered, fearing that she would’ve never look at pastries in the same way. Not even if Pinkie Pie made them.

“Did...Did you hear everything? I mean about that thing Dad was about to yell?” Her secret really started to lose huge chunks of its secretness that day. What, was Mayor Mare going to be the next one? Or Miss Cherilee? Braeburn all the way to Appleloosa? Friggin’ papers being launched from the sky?

“I already knew and I don’t care. In fact, I figured out the first time we met. And look how much I cared about it!” He materialized a tray with a half circle lid and opened it, revealing...absolutely nothing. That nearly forced a chuckle out of her. Nearly. “I’m a lot older than you will ever be and I met more ponies like you than the stars in the sky. Who knows? Maybe I’m responsible for some of them!”

Rainbow shuddered, imagining the Spirit of Chaos wearing a dark armor and proclaiming with a wheezing, metallic voice, to be her father while the pegasus was hanging from a metal edge in the heart of a space station. While missing a hoof. “Since when can you stop time?”

Discord sighed. “Of all the questions you could’ve asked, you choose that? You have the chance of receiving the help of a walking, talking, deus ex machina and you ask me such a trivial question? I’m sorta tempted to be a cupcake again.”

“Point taken. Just one question...How come you never used this power before? If you have it, of course.”

“I find your lack of trust...disturbing. The things is...I could have used it for myself. Maybe go back to the time the Princesses turned me into stone. Maybe even stop you girls from turning me into a garden ornament a second time, but if I did? I would’ve never known the magic of Friendship! And besides it would make sense.”

“Yeah, yeah and there’s no fun in making sense.” Which paradoxically made sense for Discord. Rainbow didn’t comment on the issue, though. “But how are you planning to help me, exactly? Not that I’m interested or something...” She totally was, but Rainbow was desperate enough to at least listen to his offer. Dash kept her cool, placing a foreleg over the other in a nonchalant way while refusing to look in Discord’s eyes.

“I’ll give you more time to fix this little...inconvenience.” Discord chuckled. “Sure, let’s call it like that.”

“More time? What, are you going to turn back the clock?”

Discord snapped his fingers and in a puff of smoke a pendulum clock appeared, that started ticking loudly. “More likely than you think. I’ll send you back in time, let’s say...to this morning maybe. Before your parents’ arriving and well before Pinkie’s family is here.”

“Family?” Rainbow cocked an eyebrow, curious.

“Oh, yes! The whole family. Mostly. In fact, I have it on film.” From out of nowhere Discord whipped out a projector screen and a projector of his own, appearing from yet another puff of smoke. On the screen it showed Sugarcube Corner and its owners that very same morning in a grainy, black and white filter.

“They invented colors, you know.”

“It’s called vintage. It’s something you really can’t appreciate.”

Rainbow rolled her eyes.

Rainbow Dash saw Pinkie’s father in the bakery, spazzing out and crushing his hat in his hooves. He moved his lips but no sound came from them. Instead, only a cheesy piano music was heard. Discord wore a bowler hat, a ragged black suit and a black, toothbrush mustache.

***

“She’s what?!”

The words appeared in an elegant white font on a black background. The action returned to Mrs. Cake, trying to reach him and calm him down.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Pie! We thought you already knew!”

A mare passed him a new hat, her hooves visibly shaking.

The action moved to a couple of young mares, looking completely flabbergasted and staring blankly at the void. Rainbow remembered to having already seen them in Pinkie’s family photos and recognized them as Pinkie’s sisters. Well, two of them.

“Holy crap, I’m going to be an auntie.”

“Holy crap, both of us are going to be aunties!”

“All three of us, Inkie!”

“Right...Always forget Maude for some reason.”

“But...But who is the father?”

Clyde climbed upon the counter and started shaking Mr. Cake from his apron.

“Who is the rapscallion that laid his filthy hooves on my little girl?! Who, in his awesome stupidity, did that?!”

“Well...she’s called Rainbow Dash…”

Mr. Cake sheepishly added, scratching the back of his head and giving a nervous grin.

“And she isn’t that bad for a rapscallion…”

Mrs. Cake added with a smile, one intended to ease the tension but ended up being very inappropriate.

You said ‘she’, isn’t it?”

“Well, it’s a long story, you see…”

Clyde Pie froze in place, his new hat falling on the ground crumpled like an old accordion just like the other. His wife passed him a new one from her saddlebag but it slipped from her hooves when she passed out on the floor. The music went for a dramatic turn in a rapid spin of notes.

“Mom!”

The two girls yelled while Mr. Cake came to her side with a glass of water. Clyde was still frozen like a statue. She took a sip and regained her senses before her pupils widened again with a small pop.

“No, still not enough!”

Pinkie’s mom said and passed out again.

***

The projector stopped and Rainbow Dash kinda felt a little guilty. While nopony could have predicted Pinkie’s family arrival, she could’ve at least thought about writing a letter or something. Even if he popped out of nowhere and smashed the mood into tiny pieces, that was still the reaction of a concerned father. Being a future parent herself, there was a tiny part of her that could understand him...and a gut feel that, one day, one hypothetical and terrible day, she may react the same way!

“Well…” Discord said, munching on popcorn. “The editing could use some work but the actors’ performances were strong enough to carry the whole thing. Especially the father’s!”

“Yeah...He’s certainly not the problem…” Dash sighed and tried not to focus on a certain rainbow maned stallion and his big mouth.

“And speaking of fathers, what exactly did happen with your folks, by the way?” Discord poofed out the way and materialized near Rainbow Blitz. He grabbed a nearby glass and collected the floating punch with it. He then drunk the glass.

“Well...It’s a long story, you see. Surely I’m not telling you. It’s not that someone like you would understan—”

“Wait a second, I should have it somewhere…” Discord snapped his fingers and materialized a chest full of film reels. One of them was labeled “Humiliation and love in Cloudsdale!!!” with three exclamation marks. “I just knew this one would turn out to be useful.”

“You have movies of everything that happened?!”

“I had to do something while I was trapped in stone, don’t you think?”

Rainbow rolled her eyes and felt naked and vulnerable. She hoped he didn’t have reels of her first time with Pinkie Pie, of all the times she wet herself when she was a foal, the time she tried to do a sexy Daring Do cosplay but the paint melted under the rain…

The projector started again. “Hey! I didn’t give you my permission to see it!”

"Well, try to stop me then!” Discord chuckled before Rainbow went to the projector, trying to find a button or something to turn it off. Turns out it didn’t have one. It would have made sense, after all

***

An adorable, Rainbow maned filly was in her house, fidgeting nervously on her hooves. Her father took a fleeting glance at her from behind his newspaper. Her mother fllew all the way to greet her with a tight hug at the tune of a soothing, simple piano piece.

“Aaaaw!” said Discord, which weirdly echoed like a whole studio audience did that.

Great. Embarrassed in front of the spirit of Chaos. Beyond the frontier of time.

“Welcome back, Dashie! How was your day?”

Firefly said while pinching the filly’s cheeks. Rainbow Dash just put on a pout in a misguided attempt to look badass and not showing how much she liked when her mom did that.

“Good...Good…”

“Is there something bothering you?”

Blitz said, getting up from the chair and floating to Dash’s side.

“Did something happen at Flight’s School?

“No, Dad.”

A ferocious blush painted the filly’s cheeks, visible even under that grainy, old time filter.

“No, because if somepony made fun of you…” He snorted and punched his hooves together. “They are going to face my wrath!”

“Yes, I am sure the little foals are worthy opponents for you.”

Firefly rolled her eyes and smacked her husband lightly, while Dashie’s eyes were fixed on the floor.

“Well, you know how they bite. Not to mention the horrible colds they can infect you with!”

“Did something happen, dear?”

Firefly placed a pink hoof on Dash’s forehead to check her temperature.

“No, no, it’s not like that, Dad. But I still apprec...approach...I like it!”

Dash stepped up and gave a hug to her old man, snuggling her cheek on the coat on his broad chest.

“No problem. It’s my dad job to make your day a little more awesome.”

He ruffled her mane playfully and the adult Rainbow cringed at that sentence. If that were true she wouldn’t have needed to literally stop time to stop his foolishness.

“Mom...Dad…” The filly eyed the door, nervously. “The thing is...There is a colt…”

A colt?!” Firefly jumped for the joy, making a little twirl in the air. “There is a colt?

“Yeah...I met him in flight’s school, he seemed nice and he asked me to be his fillyfriend.”

“It was that easy? Either he is a master seductor or you have really low standards.”

“I asked him if he wanted to stay for lunch. It’s that okay with you guys?”

Dash waggled her tail and put on the best ‘pleading puppy’ eyes she could muster. Not that she needed it.

“Well, no problem.” Firefly said, patting gently Rainbow’s head. “You can let him come in if you like.

Rainbow turned towards the door with a huge smile after giving a huge sigh of relief..

“You heard her! Come in, Thunderlane!”

Discord spit his drink, or rather, his glass, which flew out of his mouth like mercury to recreate a normal glass like a movie being played in reverse. “Thunderlane?! You had a crush on Thunderlane?!”

“We were young...and he was really nice. He had a holographic Wonderbolt Card, which, when you are a kid in Cloudsdale, is the equivalent of a diamond encrusted engagement ring. And how the hay do you know Thunderlane?”

“I have a social life, you know! Do you think I’m staying all the time at Fluttershy’s cottage, mooching off her place, watching movies and eating her cookies?”

“Yes.”

“Only on weekends.”

A little black colt on the screen opened the door slowly, hesitating whether to enter or not before little Rainbow rolled her eyes and just dragged him inside by his mohawk. He waved nervously at the pair while trying to hide behind Rainbow Dash. Firefly giggled at his adorable awkwardness and it brought a smile to Rainbow’s face, too. That was a day that had a great start...for about a minute.

“Hello, Mrs. Firefly and Mr. Blitz.”

“Hello, dear! I hear you are Dashie’s special friend.”

Firefly approached the timid colt with a warm smile.

“Well, she kinda dragged me here. She is a bit scary. I mean, sometimes!”

Both young and adult Dash threw him a dangerous glare. How come colts this day confuse assertiveness for intimidation? Was the Fluttershy school of thought that popular? Strong, confident mares shouldn’t always be the norm?

“Well, take care. Little Dashie can be more of a colt than you! Hope you two didn’t try doing a pissing contest!”

“DAD!”

The piano keys crashed violently, producing a grave, brash sound that turned into a melody of pure sorrow. Dash wanted to close her eyes but couldn’t, still wondering if what happened there was real.

“Blitz!”

Firefly shouted. The notes cascaded in a shriller tone only to sink back to the slower, somber motive of before.

“Oh, I’m sorry I meant ‘wee-weeing’ cont—Crud…”

Dash gulped. She wanted to be there and change things. Be there and tell that filly to at least play that out as a joke and move on. To tell her to not suffer so much as she did. That life went on and she would find somepony else that loved her for herself. Things that she needed to hear and she had a lifetime to tell herself so.

As the music, took a shocking, melodramatic tone shift, little Rainbow Dash ran away in tears, leaving a little colt confused and creeped out. That filly never explained to him what happened. Never told him why she was so sensitive about that issue, why that phrasing that seemed so innocent hurt her that much. But Blitz knew. Oh, if he knew! The very thing he always said to his little girl to never worry about. Doesn’t mean she couldn’t feel fear. Or shame. One wrong word, one drop too much and the damage was done. The heart of a filly is a delicate thing.

Captured by Discord’s magic Rainbow could finally see her father’s face in that instant...and saw regret. A small tear rolled down his cheek that he quickly hid with a hoof when he met his wife’s scowl. She slapped him and he accepted it. He even nodded to say he wanted some more, that he deserved it.

Again, Rainbow didn’t feel anger but pity. Not much of it, but a glimmer was better than nothing.

Her father was just a pony, after all. Ponies made mistakes. Ponies could be incredibly dumb and have terrible flaws. Rainbow had her hotheadedness and Blitz his stupid mouth. If she believed even for just one second that her flaw never hurt herself or anypony else then she was a fool. Ponies wanted a second chance when that happened.

Ponies seldom had a second chance...Unless they had the Spirit of Chaos backing them up.

For her.

For Pinkie.

For their families.

The film ended and the screen turned back to silver white. The projector poofed out of existence and even Discord stood silent, drumming his fingers against the beach chair. Not even a snarky comment to follow.

“If I asked you to come back at this moment, could you do it?” Dash sighed.

“Would you accept it?”

“No. That’s too far back. I would change too much of what I am. Just to this morning. Before Mom and Dad came to my place. Just this morning and I can wrap things up.”

“Suit yourself.” Discord snapped his fingers and the clock reappeared. Its hands started running backwards at such a fast pace to be mesmerizing. Unscheduled thunderbolts roared in the distance and the world turned into a blur. No turning back. A swirl of pure, pink light rose from the ground and started to spiral around Rainbow Dash, faster and faster, enveloping the cyan pegasus like a cocoon. She glanced at Discord through one last, small opening.

“Just tell me! Are there any side effects?” Rainbow shouted to make herself heard inside the roaring.

“Don’t step on butterflies! It’s rude!”

“I guess I should…” Words flat out refused to come out of Rainbow’s mouth. “...thank you!” Dash immediately after had the urge to drink some mouthwash.

“Thank Fluttershy for being such a good friend to both of us!” He shouted via an out of nowhere megaphone. “ Lousy pair of earplugs, though. Nopony’s perfect.”

“WHAT?!”

“Nevermind…”

She closed her eyes and silence followed, broken only by her frantic breath. Her wings flapped around, but a weird cold, slithering through her feathers. A bitter, metallic taste invaded her mouth when the ground literally disappeared from under her hooves. She struggled to keep her eyes shut, knowing from her favorite stories that the unraveling of the timestream was something that ponies weren’t intended to see. Of course, she had the gnawing feel in the back of her brain that Discord was playing her as a fool, so keeping her eyes closed in front of that dangerous troll wasn’t the best choice.

“I wonder if I should’ve told her of the real side effects…”

She opened her mouth and tried to cuss at Discord, but dared not to move as the roaring of the magic light reprised for just a second but still enough to make her think twice about it. Her wings kept thrashing around against her will, her survival instinct going berserk at the sensation of drifting in nothing.

Fortunately, it was just a mere instant.

Her sense of direction returned, there was a world around her again and she found herself lying on the side of a soft, almost cloudy, surface. Fresh sheets were wrapping her body and her hooves were grasping the most delightful weight, sharing its warmth with the pony of her dreams.

When she opened her eyes, Pinkie Pie was at her side and a smile lit up her face. Just like that morning. It was that morning and Rainbow took a sigh of relief.

The pink pony was there, in Rainbow’s bed and at her side like a few hours ago and she never looked that beautiful, so calm and with a small smile on her lips. Rainbow pulled her close into a hug, struggling not to wake her up from that blissful sleep. The smell of candy and of her mane filled her nostrils and her heart soared. This time, Rainbow was the one holding her like the last safe spot of the universe.

“I’ll fix everything. I’ll fix everything with your dad…” Even though she would’ve loved to just hold her a little more, the first rays of Celestia’s Sun were going past her window. Soon both of their families would be there and time was dangerously close to being her enemy again.

“Pinkie Pie! Wake up!” she poked at her with her snout.

“Nuuh…” Pinkie slowly moved and smacked her lips together, struggling to open eyelids heavier than lead. “Am I still dreaming or am I really in your bedroom?” Dash rolled her eyes and had a deja vù.

“Nope. I’m the real deal and you’re at my place and I love you but we’ve got a problem!"

“Problem?!” Pinkie threw the sheets out of her and stood with all fours on the bed. “What problem? Do you feel your tummy aching? Is it the foal?!”

“I...uh...Hem…” Suddenly, Rainbow’s brain reminded itself that yes, she was back in time and yes, with no plan whatsoever. Story of her life, really. “No, it’s not the foal, of course! Aaaand it’s not that bad as it seems.”

“Then what is it?”

“I have...cravings! Yes, I’ve got cravings and they are terrible!” She fell on her back and started rubbing her tummy, her wings thrashing around and scattering little blobs of cloud matter around. “I want to eat things that I never considered before. I’m so hungry and I need it. Badly!”

“Which things, Dashie? Is it...a precious flower of the jungle? The feathers of a rare bird that lives in some province of Neighpon? Because if it’s something like that I’ll start an expedition in no time! Just let me gather a cadre of tough ponies with a troubled past and with nothing to lose!”

“Craving for...cupcakes!"

Pinkie blinked. “Dashie...you ate cupcakes. Lots of cupcakes. It’s not a thing you never considered before. I baked you lots of cupcakes.”

“So...Uhm...Could you bake me some cupcakes?”

“Well, I’ll have to go to Sugarcube Corner and I wanted to spend at least one day with you, not going to work. Even though it’s also the place where I normally live but once we’ll be married I don’t know if—”

“Pretty please? With Sugar on top?” Dash clasped her hooves in a praying pose and closed her eyes, keeping one slightly opened to see Pinkie’s reaction.

“Oh, that adorable face! I can’t resist it’s, like, hypnotic or something.” Pinkie smooshed Dash’s face between her hooves before jumping out of the bed. “Alright, I’ll go all the way to Sugarcube Corner and bake you some cupcakes. You are lucky I can’t resist your rugged good looks.”

“Rugged?” For some reasons the remark confused Rainbow, who tried to fix the loose locks of her mane in a respectable manner, before offering her rump to Pinkie Pie. The pink pony jumped on her back and the two of them took from Rainbow’s mansion the way down to Ponyville, the morning air ruffling Rainbow’s feathers and the wind messing up her mane. Apparently Fate favored the rugged look as well.

Pinkie Pie started to giggle quietly with her snout buried in Rainbow’s coat and mane, her forelegs locked around Rainbow’s neck in a showing of trust and intimacy. Again, Rainbow couldn’t enjoy the time the two had, the little gestures that made life a little sweeter, because of the fastidious, yet necessary, knowledge of the future.

Soon, Pinkie’s family would’ve been at the bakery and Rainbow reasoned that it was better for them that they knew the big news from pinkie than from the Cakes. They would’ve had the time to accept it, the time of giving her the blessing one little, pregnant pink pony would need from her parents. They would’ve had the time to digest the news and not freak out in front of their daughter’s best friends and the family of her fiancè, at least!

Pinkie deserved that. More than anypony else. That scared, pink mare clinging at her deserved a second chance to be face to face with her father and not be afraid.

Sure, Rainbow’s hide happened to be saved as well in the process but that was beside the point. The thing of doing something for the good of both meant doing something good for themselves, too.

“Whoa! I just close my eyes a minute and we’re here already!”

Rainbow blinked and found herself indeed at few meters from Sugarcube Corner. Dash realized that, apparently, she was a lot faster than usual when musing on the plan of action to adopt after time travelling. She saw as a privilege the fact she often said and thought sentences that the average pony wouldn’t even dream.

“What, are you getting faster, Dashie?” Pinkie giggled and gave a congratulatory snuggle of Rainbow’s head.

“Well, maybe...Probably. Yeah, I’m definitely faster, who are we kidding?

Pinkie planted a kiss on her cheek. “I just love when you boast!”

That was when Rainbow Dash saw a cart parked near the gingerbread shaped building. The kind of cart a farmer with his wife and daughters would bring for a family trip to a nearest little village where his other daughter lived. With horror she realized they were already here. The family freakout must’ve happened when Rainbow was there chatting with her parents at her place.

Rainbow bit her lip to calm her nerves and keep her frantic breath in place when she landed slowly, allowing Pinkie to hop away from her back and onto the ground. Rainbow took a deep breath and said to herself Let’s do it, She totally didn’t want to waste that precious, second chance.

“Oh, that really slipped out of my mind.” Pinkie stopped, her hoof hovering before the door.

“W-what is it?” Rainbow nearly gasped, fearing her carefully (not really) laid plan going in pieces like glass.

“I don’t need to bake them myself! The shop has just opened and maybe they already have some freshly baked cupcakes! You don’t mind if I don’t bake them myself, do you?”

“I’ll live.” When Pinkie turned, Dash wiped a huge drop of sweat from her forehead.

“Well, now that’s settled let’s go and have some break—Whaaat?!” Pinkie Pie opened the door and found the live version of her family portrait taking place in her workplace/home. Her surprise was soon matched by the whole Pie family minus one.

PleaseI’mstilltimePleaseI’mstilltimePleaseI’mstilltimePleaseI’mstilltimePleaseI’mstilltime...

“Pinkie!” the four ponies hurried at her like a stampeding herd and squeezed together the pink pony into a massive group hug, lifting her from the ground like a pink and snuggly trophy.

Dash took a sigh of relief. No shocked faces and destroyed hats. Still in time. Even the Cakes behind the counter were quite surprised to see the two of them.

“Oh my gosh, Mommy and Daddy and Inkie and Blinkie! All my family is here, this is the best surprise ever!” Pinkie pulled close her parents with both forelegs while her sisters were still struggling to hold her lower body, their hind legs wobbling like jelly.

“Told ya she would say that.” Clyde said with a smirk while Sue simply gave an annoyed grunt.

“What happened? What brings you to Ponyville?” The four put her down to the great relief of the two Pie sisters but not before Pinkie exchanged one more hug with her mom. “Not that I’m complaining!”

“Your father got bored and nostalgic and dragged the whole family with him. Oh, who am I kidding?” Sue giggled. “We all wanted to see you again.Just because.”

“We just couldn’t stay without our favourite sister” The young, grey mare hopped around Pinkie Pie like an awestruck puppy, copying Pinkie’s hopping style to the P.

“I thought I was your favorite sister!” The other intervened with an annoyed pout, sticking out her lower lip.

“Well...there is favorite…” She patted the head of her sister in a condescending manner. “... and favorite…” Inkie pointed towards Pinkie, who looked at her back to be sure she wasn’t pointing to somepony else. “...and Pinkie is more of the latter kind.”

“Yeah? And what’s the difference?” Blinkie stepped towards her sister and poked her snout with her own.

“Inkie, Blinkie! You know the rule!” Pinkie giggled and clapped her hooves to get her sister’s attention. “Nopony ever said that you can’t have more than one favorite thing, right? For example, cupcakes are my favourites, but Corn Cakes are my favorite too! And what about muffins? They would feel left out. Would you want to make muffins feel bad?”

The two bickering sisters stopped being so and shrugged. “Makes sense.” Blinkie said, confirming that unfathomable thing rattling in Pinkie’s family tree left its mark.

“Phew...You saved me, sis.”

“Yup. You really lucked out, sis.” Blinkie rolled her eyes.

All of this happened in front of the Cakes that started to feel a little overlooked. “Well...Looks like a little family reunion is taking place.” Mr. Cake said.

“And totally unexpected, too!” Pinkie hopped on place a few times. “I mean, nopony could’ve predicted it!”

Rainbow rolled her eyes, trying to hide her smirk. Mrs. Cake walked beside Pinkie and whispered in her ear. “Thank Celestia you are here. They were going to ask how you were doing and...you know?”

“Noooo…?” Pinkie tilted her head.

“You know what!” Mrs. Cake sternly pointed at her belly and Pinkie’s erratic mind joined the dots together with a bright pink marker.

Her pupils shrank with a loud pop and the pink pony nodded, uttering in a creepy, mechanical monotone: “Yes. I got that...But since we are all here, even though we just came for breakfast, there is a thing that I have to say to you! Something very important!” Pinkie’s enthusiasm snapped her out of that trance and Rainbow’s cue arrived right on time. She stepped outside from behind Pinkie Pie and greeted the Pie clan with a nod.

“Mom, Dad, Inkie, Blinkie...I have a very important announcement to make!” Pinkie’s foreleg reached Rainbow and pulled her close, her soft coat meeting hers. “This is Rainbow Dash, my best friend and she is my very, special somepony!”

“R-really?” Clyde stepped forward, narrowing his eyes and giving a long hard look to Rainbow Dash. She felt like she was standing in the corner at school while wearing a dunce hat. Or about to strike her silly, maybe. He had a stern, authoritarian look in his eyes and his posture that only somepony’s dad could have. Given his sudden appearance out of nowhere just a few minutes ago (or few minutes from now? Lousy time travel pronouns…) it was safe to say that Rainbow really felt nervous around him.

“Your special somepony?” He tilted his head in confusion. “Isn’t she...Well, a she?”

“It’s a big city thing, dad! Everypony does that!” Blinkie said with a smile and a playful poke to her father’s shoulder.

“Does Ponyville seem a big city to you? I mean, it’s reasonably bigger than the average village but it’s not a big city and...and…I don’t get it.” Clyde sulked, taking a few steps backwards and grumbling lightly with an unknowable expression on his brown brow. Rainbow Dash scratched the back of her head, disappointed. She surely hadn’t crossed the timestream to make such a lousy first impression!

“Oh my...She is...You are beautiful!” Inkie’s eyes glowed with amazement, staring at Rainbow like one would with a two stories high chocolate parfait. “I mean...look at that mane! Is it for real? Do you mind if I touch that?” Inkie’s hoof trembled when approaching Dash’s mane. The pegasus simply nodded with a smile.

She hasn’t ever been vain but she wasn’t used to getting compliments for her looks, either. Nor being accepted by anypony else of the Pie clan, for that matter. “Sure, go ahead, um…”

“Inkie.” Pinkie whispered in her ear.

“Inkie! Yeah, of course it’s real.” Pinkie’s sister giggled while caressing with the utmost care. “All natural Dash.”

“Actually, my name is Limestone. We figured that Pinkie here wasn’t the only one that could choose her nickname, right, sis?”

“Yeah, but she was a Pinkie before it went popular…” Blinkie’s eyes widened with terror. “Unless we are...hipsters?”

A collective shudder filled the room.

“Let’s not say things we can’t prove.” Sue, of all ponies, said. The evils that are hipsters were known even among rock farmers.

“Well, since we all here…You could say the other thing, Pinkie.”

“What other thing...Oh!” Pinkie’s mouth remained open when she glanced at Dashie holding up her hoof to show her makeshift ring. Dash cracked a warm smile at the sight of it, relieved herself of not having lost it in some freaky time travel thing. “Oh, Dashie…”

“It’s true, sir. Ma’am. Girls. Before you freak out or something, yes, we are engaged.” Rainbow pulled Pinkie in a hug with one foreleg, her heart hammering on her ribs. “In fact, we are super engaged. I know it’s sudden—”

“Damn well it is!” Clyde shouted, then reprimanded himself. “You know, perhaps this isn't the best place to discuss these matters.” Clyde turned to see Mr. Cake munching on some out of nowhere popcorn. He hid them behind his back with a sheepish grin.

“Oh, please don’t mind us…”

Clyde rolled his eyes.

“I know it’s sudden, but I love your daughter. I really do. Capital A love, too. When I am with her I feel...complete. “ Pinkie’s family gathered closer towards as her filly friend snuggled hardly against her chest. “When I am with her her the world looks so amazing. because it’s her smile that brightens it! I feel that everything I do matters, if I see her down on the heart, smiling at me. If something I do makes her happy, no matter how small, then I’m overjoyed. But I know it’s not just about me. Your daughter is a pony that deserves all the love in the world and if I’m the one she chose, I will give it to her until the end of time.”

Silence filled the room. Small tear crossed Rainbow’s cheek while Pinkie’s parents stood in stunned silence. Pinkie’s sisters loudly blowed their noses, sobbing like the deeply moved fillies they were. “That was...That was the cutest thing I ever heard.” Blinkie said, wiping the tears from her eyes.

“P-Pinkie?” Clyde finally snapped out of that worrying silence and approached his daughter, caressing her cheek with a hoof.

“Yes, Daddy?” she hopped towards him, a smile on her face.

“Does she...Does she make you happy? I mean...your special somepony?”

“Yes, Daddy. Every day of my life.” Dash stepped forward and nodded solemnly.

“Does she care about you?” Sue asked it, this time, landing a caress on her own on her daughter’s cheek.

“Yes, Mommy. I don’t want anything else when I’m with her.” Pinkie’s hoof slipped beside Dash, who held it strongly.

“Does she like your cooking?” Inkie asked, drawing confused and annoyed looks at her from basically everypony in the shop. “Sorry. Heat of the moment.”

“Well, yeah. Who doesn’t?” Rainbow chuckled, drawing a smile from the embarrassed Inkie.

“Do you love her?” Both Sue and Clyde asked her, in perfect unison.

“I do. Everything that Dashie said...is the same for me!” she clinged at Rainbow tightly, her forelegs shaking around her neck. “That and more. I love this pony with all my heart and soul and part of my liver! My best friend, the pony whose smile I value more than anything. And also she is…” Pinkie Pie stopped, choking on the words. “She is…” The simplest of truths dawn. Dash felt that all the responsibilities of the news would be hers to shoulder. She grasped her hoof with her own and the two felt as one, like it always should be.

“She is what, sis?” Inkie nudged her very gently, her eyes having only love in them.

“It’s okay, Pinkie...I will tell them.”

Pinkie nodded solemnly.

“Sir, Ma’am, Girls…” Dash gulped and closed her eyes. Time stopped again and reprised its course after a long, preparatory breath. A moment was all she needed. Directly from hers or Pinkie’s lips. “We’re pregnant..”

“Holy crap!” A familiar, dreadful, completely unexpected and totally out of place voice shouted, belonging to a familiar rainbow maned stallion who had just entered the shop, his jaw hanging from the sides of his mouth and threatening to drop on the floor. “Did you really use your dick this time!”

With that, Rainbow started to scream internally.

“Uhm...Hello, Dashie?” Firefly at his side and clearly embarrassed, gave a polite wave to everypony in the room before shooting a glare to her husband. She then raised a hoof, aimed right to his face and…

“Hi, mom.” Dash answered with eerie calm.

“Mom?” Pinkie said. “Dashie’s mom?! But how...what?!”

“Mom?” Blinkie said, confused.

“Mom?” Inkie said, even more confused.

“Did he really said what I think he said or I’m finally gone crazy?” Clyde said clutching his chest and his voice squeaking lightly.

“What brings you here to Ponyville?” Rainbow’s eyes were cold and unblinking, focused on a stallion that should’ve really minded his words.

“Well, huh...We didn’t find you at home and your mom wanted a cupcake and—”

“You were the one that wanted a cupcake!” Firefly yelled it like she was try to yell murder threats.

“To answer your question...Dad…” Rainbow spat out the last word but still managed to stay calm, not wanting to screw up even a word of this. “Yes! With my magic dick!”

“W-what?!”

“The magic dick that my dear friend Twilight, the most powerful unicorn I know, grew on me! And that Pinkie used, too!” Rainbow blinked unseen from everypony else but her father and for all his faults, at least he caught up quickly.

“W-what…? Ohhhhh…” Blitz’s pupils shrank with realization. “Yes. Exactly what I meant…” He winked back with a smile, only for it to be shot down by Rainbow’s pout. “At least I guessed!”

“What, when you said ‘we’re pregnant’...” Sue trembled from head to hooves. “It wasn’t just an annoying things couple say when they expect a foal. You are both…You are both…!”

“Yes, we are.” Rainbow turned towards Pinkie’s mother. “Sorry if you had to know it this way. I had figured out a gentler way...but somepony really doesn’t know how to handle things tactfully! I mean, come on! Even in front of complete strangers? No offense.”

“None taken.” Blinkie said.

“I mean...Really pregnant? Both of them? With magic?” Pinkie’s mother expression was something halfway from being on the verge of tears and a crazed grin. Her husband and the Cakes came to her side to tend at her.

“She kinda does have a point…” Firefly rolled her eyes.

“I’m not proud of what I do in my personal life but...It’s my personal life.” She poked at his chest the way one would buck a tree. ”I expected better from you! I don’t see you since...Since forever and you make this entrance and the first thing you say is for embarrassing me!” Rainbow wiped a small tear from her cheek before anything or anypony could see it.[

“I...I…” Blitz stammered.

“Do you...Do you have any idea how your daughter could feel? I’m going to be a mother and I don’t even have the time to settle down and think about it. And when I do, I have to put up with embarrassing moment after embarrassing moment or I just find out that I’m...scared…”

“D-Dashie…” Firefly stepped forward and caressed Rainbow’s cheek with a hoof.

“I don’t know anything about raising kids. What if they don’t like me? What if I don’t know how to say no or to comfort them after a bad day? What if I end up being some kind of nasty drill sergeant even with them? I hoped to have you two to ask, because you are my family and the moment this guy knows...He makes a joke!”

Blitz looked away, ashamed of himself. He fidgeted on his hooves and tried to say something, only to realize that silence was the only sensible choice.

“I thought you had changed! I got this far from nothing! I even travelled through tim—Time and time again only to find you in the same place. Just...what is your problem? Why do you feel the need to be some kind of joker, always out to make me look bad? Why can’t you just be...The dad that just wanted to make my day a little more awesome? Why can’t you just be that?”

“Because I’m a complete twat…” He finally said.

“Dear…” Firefly said, running to his side.[

“No, it’s true. You even said that a few times.”

“As a joke!”

“This time it’s true. I like to say the silliest things and I’m too immature to stop when I go too far. I’m immature with you because when I am with you...I feel happy! I want to joke and laugh and damn the consequences.” He grabbed Rainbow into a tight embrace, compressing her ribs in the unwanted hold. Dash, being used to Pinkie’s crushing embraces, wasn’t bothered much. In fact, it felt...kinda nice?

“It reminds of all the time I made my little filly laugh. Of all the times she came back home covered in mud because she crashed on the ground one time too many.”

Dash chuckled weakly. “Yeah, I remember that. But you were there to make me laugh. To make me see that it wasn’t that bad. To remind me there was another day I could try and succeed.”

“But I’m weak and immature. I push the joke too far and I end up hurting your feelings because I fail to see how much you’ve grown. I can only see the little filly without a care in the world that laughs at her dad’s silliness. Not caring for what happens next. Completely misguided, too."

“Yeah, you did. Do you think just admitting it is enough?” Dash’s voice trembled and tears screamed at her to come out. As much as she wanted to forgive him, years of resentment gnawed at the back of her mind.

“No. That’s too easy. The only thing I can do is...at least try to be better. I’m sorry for everything.” He hugged his daughter even harder than before, drawing at least one small squeak from her. “Could we...Could we start again?”

“Which means…?”

“Maybe I could just exit the shop and, I dunno, re enter it and say something less stupid.”

“Nah. I’m liking this hug. Let’s just start from here” Rainbow hugged him back and she felt a burden lifted from her chest. “Well, I guess now you know, too. Everypony does.”

“I do...Oh my gosh...Now is hitting me...You’re pregnant!” he chuckled and let go of Rainbow Dash. He cried some small tears of joy and tried to hide them with a hoof. “I’m a grandfather!”

Firefly rolled her eyes and then hugged her daughter as well.[

“Oh my gosh! Mommy and Daddy Dash! Everypony is here!” Pinkie squealed of joy and jumped up and down. “What a crazy coincidence! Why don’t you introduce me?”

“Mom, Dad...She is Pinkie Pie.” Clyde coughed, that imperscrutable look still etched on his eyes. “Oh, and with family. You know, just for making this far more awkward.”

“Ouch. I feel more of a jerk than ever…” Blitz said while Pinkie Pie was pulling the two into a powerful hug. “Hope you’re not angry with me, too…”

“Nope, Mr. Daddy Dash. I’m just so happy of finally meeting you.”

“You can call me Blitz…”

“Well, now you have to meet my family as well, so I got to meet my parents in law and you get to meet Dashie’s! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh!” Pinkie let go of the two and jumped her way around, to the surprise of Firefly.

“Is she always like this?” Firefly asked with a smile.

“Only on special occasions.”

With everypony acting out in a most deserved family portrait, Dash could finally realize to have won. Completely and utterly won. She went to impossible lengths to keep her secret in the most acceptable way, extorted favors from the spirit of Chaos and Disharmony, got a wonderful mare at her side and made peace with her father and herself. Sure, maybe a little less epic than she hoped it would’ve turned out but it was nothing that couldn’t be a little spiced up in her memories.

She had finally the time to breath and to stop being afraid. A moment to think of her foals and her life together with Pinkie Pie. A smile lit up her face at the thought of it and life was good. She thought about her words about having to live with her. Maybe there wasn’t a need to live up there, with constant need of Cloudwalking spells. Maybe she could just sell her old house and by another one on the land. Maybe keep the bed because mattresses were terrible for her back and—

“Rainbow Dash?” Clyde approached from behind. “May we have a word or two?”

“Well, of course, sir.”

“You have a strange family.”

“And you got a strange daughter.” She glanced at Pinkie Pie, dispensing hugs left and right without a care in the world, her laugh so vibrant and mirthful. “A strange, wonderful daughter.”

“I guess you are really serious about her. I’m not an easily moved stallion, but...Your words were sincere. I can feel that. In here.” He passed a hoof on his chest in circles.

“They were. All of them. “

“I’m glad of that.” He took a deep breath and placed a hoof on her shoulders. “You know, I first thought you were some kind of Cloudsdale Floozy.”

“Hey!”

“I do hope you really want to go through with marrying my daughter before the foals are born.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that. I am going through it! We will need some time to organize it, of course. Find a place to hold the ceremony, find some dresses not too fancy but still something tasteful and the catering and the rings and a house to live and————

A weird static noise followed by a roar filled Dash’s ears. Everything was covered in blinding light so she closed her eyes shut to get rid of it. An awful sense of dread filled her heart when she couldn’t feel anything under her hooves for the second time.

“I now pronounce mare and wife!” Rainbow Dash heard Princess Celestia’s voice right next to her once the roaring quelled. When she opened her eyes she found herself to her enormous surprise in Canterlot’s gardens!

With the Princess right next to her, together with Luna and Cadence under an ark made of white flowers! Her family and Pinkie’s sitting in the first row of plastic chairs, cheering and stomping their hooves on the ground in joy while Luna’s Milky Moon shone upon them. Twilight and the others were alternatively cheering and crying tears of joy. Spike in a tux stood and started clapping his hands.

A bright flash of pink in a white, poofy dress lunged at her in a kiss, causing even a louder cheer from the crowd. Pinkie Pie lunged her lips with Dash’s in a moment that seemed to last an eternity and sweeter than ever.

“Bloody Discord!” Rainbow thought and, for some reason, in a Trotthingham accent!