Oh, I've got one of those, too!

by Damocles23

Rating: mature
Tags: Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Sex, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Main 6, Romance
Length: 46247

Futa Rainbow Dash ahoy! Pinkie Pie is involved and everypony wins.

Can Rainbow Dash forever keep her male parts a secret from her friends and respectable society? Or will she finally succumb because of a certain pink pony's wonderful and bouncy booty that she can't help but shove it right on her face? In all the meanings of the word?

Beware, it contains futa and questionable humor. Unless this is your kind of thing. If so, come forth, ladies and gentlemen! This has futa!

Thanks to the amazing and lovely SerenityViewer and Invisible Blade for the editing.

Cover art by kits, who is too awesome for words or even sign language.

Inspired by an art piece by Atryl. May he always be awesome and cool, like the song goes.

Approved by The Black-light's Library

Staff edit: Image removed

Published 2013-07-02 18:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2014-10-10 14:34:07 UTC

Chapter 3

Chapter Three

By Damocles23

“So, um, looks like there’s a Rainbow flavored Pie in the oven, right?” Pinkie pointed with a hoof to her belly and snorted a forced, tortured laugh. Her blue fillyfriend didn’t even move to face her, still absentmindedly floating a few inches off the ground with steady wing flaps.

“How about this? Maybe now there’s a whole lot of Pinkie in your rainbow!” Pinkie giggled again, but the laughs stopped dead just when the columbia colored pegasus did the same.

“Are you angry with me? I know. I know it's not the time to make jokes.” She kicked a little bit of dust on the ground and she held her belly again, feeling her heartbeat going crazy at the mere thought of...how to call it? The little ‘Pinkie or Dashie’ growing inside her?

The thought made her want to laugh or cry or scream her heart out, but that was a silly thing that only the carefree Pinkie Pie could do, not the Pinkie Pie responsible for her foal. Even if it was smaller than the tiniest tip of the tiniest tip of her hoof and for the sake of it, the freaking out part had to be delayed.

“I’m not angry with you.” Dash finally said, but still without turning. “I’m just not angry. Period.”

“You’re angry with the period? I know, that feeling...The question mark is much nicer, but it never gives you a clear answer.”

“I just need to talk with Twilight, that’s all. I’m not even angry with her.” Finally she turned toward the pink pony, sporting a warm smile, and caressed her on the cheek, “If anything, you should be angry with me!”

“Uh? Why?”

“I mean, I-I got you...” a ferocious red tinged her cheeks, “I knocked you up...Without magic, I mean.” she blurted out. Pinkie lunged at the blue pegasus, but somehow tried not to squeeze the adorableness out of her. The element of Loyalty...had thought first of the pink pony with not even a word about herself.

“No, Dashie, no! I wanted it, wanted it so bad. I didn’t know that it would happen and I still went through it, despite the risk. You have to blame me! I’m the one that insisted on using that fake, but still working, thingy. I didn’t even ask Twilight if she was really, really sure! Blame me, instead. I got you knocked up.With magic!”

Dash’s hooves rose up and flattened her bushy mane against her blue chest, stroking and caressing Pinkie’s face and mane in the process.

“How could I blame you? You just wanted to make me feel good, make me feel loved, even willing to be like me... I waited my whole life for somepony like you.” Dash’s lips met Pinkie’s for a fleeting second, sending the pink pony spinning to the realm of true happiness.

“R-really?”

“Yes. You weren’t scared or disgusted by me. You just saw me as...me. Nothing more, nothing less.”

“Except your thingy. That’s more than a mare can have," she chortled out. Sometimes, she hated being this immature, but when that pegasus was with her, she didn’t want anything else than to laugh, joke and be happy forever.

“Except that. For better or worse, I want this. It may seem so soon, but I want your foal and I’m responsible for the one inside you as well.” Dash rolled her eyes, “Boy, that is complicated—”

“It’s not that complicated, Dashie. They’ve got the same Mommy and Daddy after all: they just swapped places! Same recipe and everything.” Pinkie’s tearful smile returned to light, “But seriously...you want this? A family with me? Silly, old Pinkie Pie?”

“Silly, old Pinkie Pie and silly, brash Rainbow Dash. And our totally awesome foals. I couldn’t ask for better.”

Before she could have realized, Pinkies chubby pink body threw itself again into Rainbow’s embrace and buried her snout into the pegasus’s warm fur, like it was the safest and most beautiful place of the world. Which it was. “It doesn’t seem too bad, right?”

“The opposite of bad...The bestest thing that could’ve happened to me. After you of course!” she giggled. “I thought I was a bother before all this...”

“You never were. Besides, If you think I’m going to leave you alone in this, you’re wrong! I’m tagging along in whatever crazy adventures you’re going through.”

“The coolest and bravest pegasus of Equestria at my side...I couldn’t have wished for better.” She snuggled on Dash’s neck and received a small caress for the effort.

“Also, I don’t want you to get over your head. If you were the only one with foal you would have probably gone loco in a few weeks.”

Pinkie nodded, although Dash’s prediction would have come true in even less time.

“Having somepony else at your side in the same situation, well, If it makes you feel safer, well—”

”Of course it does! And I’ll be at your side with yours! I mean mine, I mean our foal! Both of them. We are going to be the best parents ever!” She hopped in place a few times as Rainbow Dash watched her with, simply put, pride. Wearing a soft smile, the pegasus didn’t roll her eyes nor told her to calm down, and she certainly didn't brush aside her manic behavior with a snarky retort.

Something had changed and even Rainbow Dash found herself enjoying Pinkie’s smile even more than before.

“I guess we will have to think of their names,” Pinkie continued, trying to restrain her tears of joy, “And what about my folks? And your folks, too? Oh my gosh, our mommies are becoming grannies, how could we tell them? And what about the girls? What if they—”

Pinkie’s head spun as the pleasant taste of a rainy day and spices invaded her mouth. She half opened an eye to see Dash pressing her soft lips against hers. Suddenly, the world never seemed such a awful place. “I-I love you, Dashie. Did I tell you already?”

“It never hurts to say that again.”

With just her warm, comforting smile, Pinkie’s fears faded away and the pony of her dreams was by her side. “So, before we start being sappy again, not that I’m complaining mind you, let’s go to Twilight. I wanted to warn her if she doesn’t know. And If she knows, well...”

“Do you think she did it on purpose?”

Rainbow arched an eyebrow when she said the word ‘purpose.'

“I would rule that out, but come on! We know that for all her ‘magical genius,’ she's had her fair share of screw ups. More than the average pony, actually.”

Pinkie followed the statement with an extremely hurt look as her lower lip quivered. “Y-You’re saying that our foals are screwed up?”

“No-nonono! I mean the fact she didn't see this coming is the screw up, not the foals themselves!”

“Oh, that makes it better then. Let’s go!” She hopped her way toward Ponyville’s library, leaving behind a puzzled pegasus. A few moments later, Rainbow followed her, but not before stealing a small peck on her cheek.

“I love you, too, Pinkie,” Dash whispered, making the party pony blush. “I think we will make this work.”

“If I am with you, I’m sure it will.”

To some ponies, maybe even Dashie, that change of attitude may have looked jarring...which it was. But if she wasn't the one to keep her smile no matter what, the one silly and unstoppable constant that reminded Dashie that there was nothing to be scared, who would? Without further ado, they hopped and floated towards Twilight’s tree and knocked at the door.

Spike opened the door. “Rainbow? Pinkie? What are you doing here?” the young dragon said through the half opened door with a smile.

“Hi, Spike. Is Twi’ home?” Dash asked, to which Spike shook his head while munching on a gem.

“Well, where is she, then? It’s something really important!”

“Funny, she said she had something important to do as well at Sweet Apple Acres. She ran out the door without telling me anything before. And what was the deal with that brown bag? She almost knocked me over with that thing.” He massaged the back of his head with a groan.

“What bag?” Dash asked, without stifling a little laugh.

“She just said something about ‘a special gift for Applejack’ or something,” he said, making little air quotes with his free hand.

“You don’t think that...?” Dash’s eyes colored themselves of a light that was both stupefied and terrified, while a nervous grin slowly appeared on her blue lips.

“Yes, that is exactly what I’m thinking!” The pegasus’ worries leaped onto the pink pony's face like a rabid flea. “Dashie! We have to hurry!" Pinkie hopped immediately on her pegasus fillyfriend as her wings were already unraveled and kicking, ready to send them in the air as fast as the future Wonderbolt could.

Spike flailed his arms about. “Hey! Where are you going! Is there something wrong? Is Twilight in danger?!”

“Well, no. But if we don’t hurry, you might get a new brother or sister! A pony brother or sister!” Pinkie giggled.

The young dragon almost choked on his ruby as he watched with incredulous eyes his two friends disappear into the skies above.

“I thought of a name!” Dash said, a wide smile blessing her face and the hair currents messing up her mane. “For your foal, I mean.”

“Huh?”

“What if I choose the name of yours and you choose mine? Wouldn’t that be fun?”

“I would love that! What name did you choose?”

“Surprise..If it’s a filly, Surprise would be nice.” Rainbow sighed, “But if it’s a colt, well, I'll have to think about it.”

“Such a wonderful ‘Surprise’...” Pinkie caressed her tummy and abandoned herself in the softness of Dash’s mane.

***

“I, uh, I’ve never done something like this before, actually.” The librarian removed a lock of her mane from her eyes as her gaze wandered along every single thread of hay decorating the ceiling.

“Well, ah guess that makes two of us, sugarcube.” The farmpony’s golden brown hooves rustled along her purple coat to caress her cheeks and plant a firm, sensual kiss on her inexperienced lips as a throaty whimper escaped from them. “If it makes ya feel better, ah feel mighty flattered fer trusting me on...Whatever we have to call it.”

“I would call it an experiment, but then it would sound so ‘cold’...I don’t want to be like that with you.” She bit her lip as shivers of pleasure ran down her neck, just where the farmpony’s lips danced on the surface of her coat. “Maybe a favor, but it still feels empty.”

“How about ‘fun’? Fun jus’ feels right. Ah’d love to have ‘fun’ with ya.”

Twilight’s pouted a little as Applejack started to delicately bite and suckle at her neck. “Heh, you made me think of Pinkie. She gave me quite a scare the other day.”

“Why’s that?”

“I almost thought that she knew about that ‘special thing’.” She chuckled as the farm pony lips hovered from the coat over to her purple chest. Her hips bucked forward on their own as a pair of orange hooves firmly grasped at her hips. “I mean...Ah...” a moan escaped her as she tried to continue, “Now she knows because, well, she asked me so kindly and...I wanted her to be happy. With Dash, I mean. If I can use my magic to make you girls happy, then it’s all worth it.”

“Twi...” AJ’s brilliant green eyes locked themselves with the unicorn’s own as profound admiration was etched in them, “Ah think you’re, well, amazing...” crimson slowly appeared between her freckles, “...but...”

“I knew there was a ‘but’.” She chuckled and rolled her eyes.

“Does she know about us?”

She flashed a devilish grin. “Nopony knows yet. I just want to do this and then we can come out. You know, with Pinkie’s business and her relationship with Dash...those two could know everything about our special thing.”

“About that...Why me? Ah mean, not sayin’ that ah don’t want to...It’s jus’ that a pony like you, well, Princess’ favourite student, Element of Magic and—”

“You’re saying that you think I’m out of your league? Is that it?”

“Basically, ye—” The farmpony’s words were stuffed back into her mouth by a sloppy, inexperienced pair of purple lips. What Twilight lacked in experience, she made up for with fervent charm, the kind that said she was totally into it, that she cared with all her heart.

“Does this spell out ‘out of my league’, Miss Element of Honesty?”

Applejack’s crimson cheeks seeped their heat all across her orange coat and the purple librarian could feel it, desire unlike anything else. Her lips wandered between her freckles and filled with licks and nips the farmpony’s visage.

Applejack answered with glee, locking her lips with her own over and over again. She concentrated on the tip of her horn and a glowing, purple hue enveloped her lover like a blanket, rolling Applejack to her back as she pinned her hooves on the ground.

Even with her magic, moving that pile of firm, powerful muscles made her tired. And quite horny, but mostly tired. “C’mere here, sugarcube...” she whispered into twitchy ears.

“That’s mah line...” Applejack said with a hint of silliness and outrage as she bit and suckled on Twilight’s neck while the unicorn matched her blow by blow on her orange coat.

A purple hoof slid down between a pair of well built thighs and could feel the tingling heat from …

She shuddered at the thought, but not even in her wildest dreams had she dared to think of Applejack’s hidden treasure, even if it was within her grasp. She steeled herself and rode the wave of adrenaline as she spread the farmpony’s legs with that little courage she held in her hooves.

The lavender unicorn had no words: those swollen, inviting labia of the juiciest pink were waiting for her to come, blinking at her virgin eyes. Countless books of questionable educational value had finally proved their value in the face of Applejack's dripping arousal. “By the beard of Starswirl...” she whispered in total awe.

“Jus’ get on with it, Twi! My apple pie is ready for some cream filling.” Applejack giggled like a mad mare as she tried to hide her ferocious blush with her pair of hooves.

“Now you really sound like Pinkie...”

Note to self: sex makes ponies dumb. Delightfully so, but still kind of weird. I wonder if that explains Pinkie...

“She must have some really dirty talk with Rainbow.”

Twilight had to agree on that. Hay, Pinkie had picked up the bad habit of saying disturbing things even in the company of other ponies.

“If you want some of it, dirty talk I mean, well, I haven’t researched it yet, but if maybe I can improvise something or maybe—”

“Twi!” AJ yelled, stopping the rant and pushing the librarian’s self esteem up a few inches.

A wisp of magic later and the artificial stallionhood was delicately removed from the bag. With a series of mechanical, almost detached movements, lost in her thoughts as not to make the tiniest mistake, until she strapped it to her crotch. The plastic member dangled dangerously close to Applejack, shuddering with anticipation.

Twilight smiled. “Ready?”

The orange mare nodded, shivering in anticipation.

Twilight closed her eyes as the magical warmth enveloped her privates, letting her analytic mind savor every change her body experienced— it was worth it, remembering her first time in all the meanings of the senses. It felt cozy, almost relaxing even as she felt the cold plastic turn inch by inch, molecule by molecule into pulsating flesh and blood. Her corpus weaved itself together, built by magical brick, tingling on her coat as it did.

The glans popped out and bulged as her tip formed a gracious curve that felt the air glazing its newly formed surface. An electric current sent a shiver rising along her spine, glistened by the rays of Celestia’s Sun, a mere glimmer of them making their way trough the barn door. She bit her lip and steeled on as blood flowed inside her new accessory. She could feel herself heavier around her crotch, but not enough to make her slip and lose her balance. A chuckle escaped as her mind, for whatever reason, went back to Lyra Heartstrings and her silly fixation on using only her hindlegs...and Twilight Sparkle’s equilibrium lessons by that same green unicorn.

It flopped and stiffened further as her purple obelisk pointed right at Applejack’s hole. New and primal instincts crawled their way into her purple head; a small drop of her seed hit the hay covered floor. Instincts dictated that she should not let up nor slow down. Her legs wobbled and she fell upon on the farmpony, the tip of her stallionhood searching the much desired hole.

The mere contact was electric, explosive even, although it was short lived as her tip slid off the pink surface and wobbled weakly away from it. She bit her lip and grabbed the flailing, viscid member and firmly grasped it with a hoof. She gulped and locked her gaze with Applejack's, who nodded with the kindest smile. Her lower lips parted slowly, her smooth orange skin caressing her pulsating organ.

Twilight thrust her hips forward and the magic began. Applejack’s strong hindlegs grasped Twilight’s back as she sank into her marehood, and only now did she notice that the orange mare possessed that same strength in all the muscles of her body. All of them.

She groaned and bucked again, pleasure surpassed by the choking sensation that enveloped the tip of her cock and great part of its length. Applejack’s tightness enveloped her, granting her no hope of escape. Nor did she wish to.

She grunted again and thrust herself in and out. Her lover's moist walls caused a sweet friction no different than from fucking a hole too tight. She bit her lip and reminded herself to find new comparisons, just for completeness’ sake.

“Is everythin’ okay, Twi?” AJ asked, her green eyes reflecting concern.

“Just fine. Give me a sec...” She closed her eyes and jerked her hips, trying for a narrower angle. She knew she made the right choice when she fell inside the farmpony and AJ let out something far from a squeal, but still not of a much different sound.

“Whoa, Nelly,” Applejack drooled out with a line of saliva.

Twilight struggled around AJ’s grip and her purple loins started to work its very unique spell. She darted forward and filled Applejack with her wide corpus as the delicate net of veins on the surface of her length brushed inside Applejack’s folds. Pleasure struck her like a shiver. The purple pony’s brain and her virgin, ingenious mind, collapse and melted, but it was not enough for her to not notice her lover biting her lip and making a slight grunt of pain.

“I’m not hurting you, right?” Twilight said, panting out words of concern. If anything, Twilight was the one who had to worry, trapped in the farmpony’s voracious maw.

“Don’ worry, sugarcube.” She kissed Twilight’s forehead, “You’re doin’ great.”

A wild hitching like sensation possessed her nethers and she had to scratch it. The only form of relief was pounding harder and faster inside her lover, grabbing her by the shoulders and drilling with her dick. Every shudder, every twitch that came from Applejack sent her dizzy with ecstasy.

In fact, the unicorn could feel her boiling load being conjured in some unknown dimension in that very second and begging, mauling on the metaphorical door to enter the world and splash inside the orange mare. Given how good, how delightful it felt, she couldn’t wait to comply.

The mare Twilight was fucking didn’t waste any time; Applejack scattered across the surface of her face a cascade of delicate, sloppy kisses, even touching with her lips the second most sensitive part of Twilight: her horn. Every brush wad like an electric current to her brain, a spark of wild ecstasy that translated into a magic impulse...that fueled her brain the most mischievous of ideas.

The tip of her horn accumulated magic and a simple push of her will projected it around her penis. Applejack shivered and Twilight matched the spasm of her body as she penetrated the circle of energy, and Applejack with it. Magic, raw magic to be precise, simply felt...cold. Not the kind of cold that bit the skin and hurt but the kind of cold one could feel after tasting fresh water after living in the desert a few weeks. The kind of cold a pony could forget, but would always feel familiar.

The magical circle allowed her to slide in and out at a much faster pace and still feel the softness of AJ’s folds. She overcame the terrible tightness and focused her mind on raw fucking. She plunged her cock deep into her juicy hole, so fast that it made both sizzling and slurping sounds as the sensitive tip slammed against Applejack’s most inner spots, crashing inside with ferocious need. The more she rammed it inside her lover, the more she wanted it... a sentiment matched by Applejack.

The farmer grabbed the unicorn’s head and shoved her tongue into her mouth, sharing her lustful moans with her as her wet appendage locked with Twilight's.

“Twi...” AJ moaned as her precious liquid was spilled by Twilight’s love muscle’s frantic spasms. Spams that she didn’t want to stop, wishing for the build up, for every kiss and playful nib, for this very moment to last forever and to be always joined in their lovemaking.

“Ah’m...Nahh, ah think ah’m coming...” Applejack’s gracious face contorted into a brief mask of carnal madness that lasted less than the blink of an eye.

“Just give me a moment here,” The unicorn said as she drilled deeper, her spell losing effectiveness and her stallionhood getting crushed, once more, in those merciless, strong lower lips.

This time, however, the pain wasn’t a bother, no, this time felt good. The kind of pain that was screaming that this was real, raw, natural and completely right for it to happen. But there was no time for sense or logic or other silly things as that, nor for analyzing it like a cold, scientific fact.

It was the time for the truth, the same words that gnawed at the back of her purple brain, to come out from the hidden corners of her mind.

Coat against coat, with Applejack’s tongue out of her mouth and enveloping her horn, sucking it dry and aching like crazy, it was the time to say it.

“AJ...I-I lov-love—”

The words were slammed back into her mouth by another thrust of those same orange lips she would never have enough of kissing. The powerful bulk that she had dreamed of for days to hold in her forelegs rolled on top of her.

She could see Applejack mounting her rod, her tongue lolling out of her mouth, her face overcome by pleasure as pearls of sweat crossed her panting brow. She bucked and bucked and bucked without mercy, and Twilight’s cock enlarged in response. Stiff and rigid, she was ready to shoot and pump all of her boiling seed, ready to make those words made real...

...Until a shriek, an impossibly sweet voice, came from behind the farmpony. Something pink and fuzzy smashed open the barn door, and the sudden splash of sunlight stung her eyes. Her heart stopped, the magical moment turned to ash: “YOUR BABY JELLY REALLY WORKS!”

Twilight screamed at the top of her lungs and gave a totally unintended magic push to the farmpony, sliding her out of her dick and making her tumble on the floor, legs still spread, and shot all of her seed in a long arc that splashed forward on Applejack’s chest and stopped a mere inches from the cause of her scare, creating a puddle of pearly white cum really close to a pair of pink hooves that tiptoed back.

Silence fell like an anvil on the four ponies in the barn.

Pinkie Pie looked on with abject horror the scene that had unveiled before her very eyes. Rainbow Dash shook her head and pinched the bridge of her nose, releasing a long, exasperated sigh. Applejack blinked and looked around her in utter confusion, going cross eyed at the sight of the two uninvited guests. Twilight babbled something, but her jaw trembled so much that real words were still not an option.

She didn’t know whether to be enraged, confused, embarrassed or something in between. She ran the complete gamut of all her emotions, working on some abstract plan to resolve the situation in a way that didn’t end up in a slaughter.

“Your baby jelly really works?!” Dash slapped her forehead. “Really?”

“Well, I think it got the point across...” Pinkie Pie shrugged and stuck out her tongue, trying not to cross Twilight’s gaze; her guilt levels were off the scale. “I think I warned her...”

“You owe me an explanation.” Twilight said. But before anger obfuscated her judgement, she realized the meaning behind Pinkie’s words.

Her eyes settled on Pinkie's stomach, and then drifted over to Applejack.

I think I really screwed up this time.

***

Twilight Sparkle knew what making a mistake felt like.

Making a tremendous mistake, though...that’s something she could write a book about it. Her latest one could be a chapter of its own. She came out of the barn, keeping her head as close to the ground as possible, trying to not look her friends in the eyes, who, as far as her fears told her, demanded an explanation.

Please, stop smiling, Pinkie... she thought, watching her pink friend still flashing the tender, kind smile she always had for the unicorn.

“I don’t deserve it.” she muttered.

Applejack, though, slid a caring hoof onto her shoulders and pulled her closer to her coat, nuzzling her neck in the process. Her green eyes shot a look that basically said: 'Ah know that you’re blaming yourself for this: Stop it, sugarcube. Right now, ah mean it.'

That’s all it took for the two to fully understand each other: a look.

If there is was a thing she didn't regret in this moment, it’s her wonderful, hardworking and honest Applejack. A mare that she risked to hurt in more ways than one.

“Girls, I...I’m sorry,” she said. She didn’t know if she had prepared that speech or if her words were sincere. “I really didn’t expect this to happen. I don’t know if I miscalculated something or I just used the wrong spell or something completely different that...I-I—”

Rainbow raised a hoof. "Just calm down, Twi. Take a breath and explain yourself.”

“Like this.” Pinkie sucked the air from her nostrils and blew it out her mouth; she sounded more like a pony drowning into jelly than breathing.

“So, you two are...” the words almost made her choke and gasp, as if not telling them would make it less true.

“Yeah, Nurse Redheart confirmed it and everything this morning.” Rainbow said while Pinkie nodded rapidly. “It goes without saying that you’re probably the most qualified to tell us what the hay happened.”

“Well, it makes babies, Dashie,” Pinkie intervened, raising a hoof. “It doesn’t take a genius to say that, but...Why, Twilight? How come you couldn't predict it?” she asked with the most innocent pair of blue eyes.

Those same blue eyes wreaked all the more havoc on the purple unicorn's conscience, biting at the back of her head the need to make amends.

“What takes me more by surprise is the fact that you used it on each other.” Twilight squeezed the bridge of her nose with a hoof, feeling a headache coming, showing up at the worst possible moment. “I’m not judging or anything, but it complicates the issue!”

“Well, actually—” Pinkie tried to say something, but Rainbow shoved a blue hoof into her mouth, stopping whatever she was about to say.

“Yes. On each other. That’s right,” the pegasus repeated in a creepy monotone voice while winking worryingly at the pink pony.

Of course, Twilight Sparkle didn’t scoff at details so easily, but she knew that answer had to wait. One problem at time, she thought. She continued her explanation and kept talking.

“Well, when I projected the item, I thought it simply fused with a mare and gives her a magically created penis, but as far as you’ve told me it turns that mare into a fully functional hermaphrodite, potency of the semen included! I went for the authenticity but it looks like, I’ve—”

“Screwed up?” Rainbow said, making Twilight silently thank her for finally being a pony that said it right to her face.

“Did a mistake-y?” Pinkie added with her usual chirpy voice.

“Overdid it, maybe?” Applejack threw in her two bits into the conversation, along with her compassionate eyes and getting closer to the truth.

“Yeah, that’s right!” She pointed at the farmpony with a hoof, “But I could be here all day explaining the ‘ifs’ and the ‘buts’, without changing anything. The only thing I can do is—”

“Be our friend,” Pinkie beamed, putting a hoof on her purple shoulder, “Our wonderful, smarty friend, even if a bit eccentric.”

“A friend that allowed us to have not one, but two awesome foals.” Rainbow put a blue hoof on her other shoulder. “Our friend and that won’t change.”

“I promise, no, Pinkie Promise you girls that you can count on me.” The unicorn’s voice’s cracked as a tearful gratitude began to get its hold on her. Applejack looked on with pride as she continued, “Anything, if you need help or advice or a friendly hoof, even if the hormones make you lose your head and you want to insult me just to unwind, I’ll be there for you.”

“And if you do that, our foals will know how awesome their ‘Auntie Twilight’ really is and always will be!” Pinkie signed her thoughtful words with a freakishly big and sincere grin, making Twilight Sparkle simply lose it.

“I’mgonnacheckonthemagicalthinghy!” She ran again inside the barn, trying to hide her stream of tender tears, slamming the door behind her in the process. She could still hear the girlish giggle of the three mares.

As she searched for the magical surrogate, she could feel her conscience easing her grip on her, the magic of friendship lighting up a day that promised to be so bleak...and also the promise of very difficult days of taking care of the foals of her two most energetic friends.

But that’s the least she could do for them. It's the least they deserve and for the love she holds for those friends, for the responsibility she has towards them...she is going to be the best Auntie Equestria has ever seen.

She lit the room with a magical glow from the tip of her horn and searched for the plastic, black dildo, lost among the hay covered floor. She blinked and saw the item hiding in a corner, allowing the mare a small sigh of relief...quickly interrupted by the rustling of hooves on the floor.

“Girls, I think I’ve found i—”

She turned her back, expecting a friendly face, only to feel a sharp blow on her forehead. Something white exploded behind the eyes and pain cloaked with darkness her world.

It felt like years before she saw Applejack shaking the unicorn to awake her. “Twi! Answer me, Twi! How many hooves do ya see?” She raised a hoof.

“Three?”

“Eh, close enough...What happened, sugarcube?”

“I don’t know...Somepony broke in, I think and—” She locked her gaze toward that spot where she expected to see the cause of all her troubles, only to find a cruel void in its place. “It’s gone! The dildo is gone!"

The three mares gasped in shock and all three silently agreed that the day suddenly felt longer...

Pinkie Pie gasped again and looked at Applejack and Rainbow Dash. “Do you realize what this means? We’re smack dab in a SUBPLOT!”

Twilight hit her forehead with a hoof, leaving a red mark, while every possible disastrous outcome started to materialize in her mind...

Author's Note

So, the two weirdest sentence I ever wrote, Fourth Wall shattering AND a small fling with Cerebus Syndrome. What will be next?

Chapter 4

“Well, ah guess ah should congratulate you two. Oh, Horseapples! Of course I haf’ to!” The farmpony pulled Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash into a firm, quick hug before turning her gaze to Twilight, deeply lost in her thoughts in the corner. With all that occurred in the space of very few minutes, she had finally the time to understand two of her best friends were pregnant. Some things just can’t be unnoticed.

“Aaaaw, thank you, Applejack! You’re always a sweetheart.” Pinkie chirped, returning the hug.

“It’s not that big of a deal, AJ.” Rainbow flushed her cheeks, still sticking to her tough pony look.

“Yeah, give or t’ke a few months and you are going to get big, sugarcube.”

The pegasus rolled her eyes and Pinkie Pie giggled her flanks off. “Don’t worry, Dashie.” The pink pony wiped a tear from her eye from too much laughter. “You will always be the prettiest pegasus for me.” She ran a hoof to her cheek which Rainbow grabbed without a second thought, exchanging a warm smile with Pinkie.

“Look who’s talking! You’re going to be so round that Twilight’s balloon will get jealous.” Dash chuckled like crazy.

“Don’t be so mean. Do you want to be a bad influence? Do you want our foals to think that their Mommy slash Daddy is a meanie that makes mean jokes?”

“You didn’t let me finish! I wanted to say that Twilight’s balloon will get jealous because it’s not as funny, cute and awesome as you.” Rainbow winked at Applejack who just shook her head, keeping a smarmy grin on her lips.

Pinkie stuck out her lower lip, putting on a pout that could’ve won the World Championship of pouts. “You got lucky this time. Next time your legendary cuteness won’t be enough.”

“Hope you girls know what you’re doing...Don’t want to sound insensitive but—” She chuckled “Ah guess you two helped me and Twi dodge a bullet.” While holding a very forced grin, Applejack noticed to have said probably the most insensitive thing in the history of ever.

Thankfully, her friends didn’t seem all that shocked, as Dash stifled a little laugh. “Well, for our friends we would do anything, help them dodge every bullet in the world. Right, Pinkie?”

Pinkie Pie nodded.

“But, you know, AJ...” Rainbow nonchalantly raised a hoof and examined it with half closed eyes. “If you want to repay the favour, there may be days that Pinkie and I may want to spend some time with each other. Alone, I mean. Aaand we may need a good friend, the most responsible pony we know to look after our babies sometimes—”

“Ah get it.” Applejack groaned. Lo and behold those two just found out to be pregnant and just got two foalsitters in the same day. It takes some talent for that. An evil talent but a talent nonetheless. “No need to act so smug about it.”

“Oh, don’t worry, Applejack.” Pinkie patted her back with a comforting smile. “You don’t have to worry for now. It will take months before they pop out. You will have plenty of time to learn! Maybe you can ask Granny Smith something or maybe Twilight will lend you some books about foalsitting. Or maybe even Cadence can give you some tips, but I don’t think going all the way to the Crystal Empire just for this is worth it and she’s a Princess, you know, so I don’t think—” Pinkie hopped and rambled on until she saw Dash snickering.

“At least we won’t have to work out for a while, right?” Dash winked and Pinkie Pie exploded in a roaring laughter, abandoning herself in the strong forelegs of the pegasus. A small laugh escaped AJ’s lips as she finally caught up to the loving pair and the joke. It’s funny how the spark love between two ponies could come out of such simple things.

Applejack always appreciated simple things, and such a simple gesture told more about what the two felt for each other than a thousand fancy words could. In the corners of her mind still ringed a few words of concern for their delicate situation, but at the end of the day, she knew those ponies, her friends, were indeed strong enough to live with their love.

Speaking of love, Applejack trotted toward the moping unicorn in the angle, ready to give her a hoof. Even all fours if she asked. She knew that the unicorn would blame herself for, well, everything that has transpired that day and it was her duty to not let this happen.

“Twi? Are you alright, sugarcube? Does it still hurt?”

“Yeah, I’m alright...I was just thinking...Who could it be?”

“Who?”

“Exactly! Who knew about my device? Who could possibly be deranged enough to assault me and steal that from me? For what purpose? And besides, how could I not predict that? How couldn’t I see it coming?!”

“Well, you can’t see the future.”

“Yet.” The implications of that words scared even Applejack. She wasn’t one to bring up the past, but Twilight had her share of messing up with the natural order of things...The two lovebirds just behind her included.

“One problem at time, sugarcube. Ah guess that once you find the magical thingy you’ll find the culprit and why he or she did it. And if he or she doesn’t want to spill the beans, well...” She stomped the ground, imagining it to be the butt of a very deserving pony. “Ah got an itch to scratch with somepony hurting you:”

“Oh, my hero!” Twilight threw herself at Applejack, a girlish blush appearing among her freckles.

“But first, don’t be too hard on yourself, sugarcube.” Applejack grasped Twilight’s squishy cheeks and gazed hard in her adorable purple eyes. “Ah’m serious.”

Twilight’s gaze wandered on the ground, those few words already analyzed. “I have to. I’ve taken the choice from them.” She moved her eyes toward the young couple still happily playing with each other, Rainbow Dash almost forced to the ground by a pair of merciless, tickling hooves. “I mean, they are happy and of course they will have me, you, Fluttershy and Rarity by their side in this ordeal, but still, they didn’t have a choice!” Her voice broke, turning halfway into a scream of rage.

“Well, they have chosen to use it, but—”

“But nopony knew it could really work! Not even me that I created the damn thing!”

“And so what? Did ya think that Pinkie and Rainbow will hate ya for this? Ah don’t think so. It was a mistake, fine, but—”

“A mistake?!” Twilight roared, causing Rainbow Dash to froze in place while Pinkie Pie stood abashed on top of her, gnawing on her wing. “A mistake is when I don’t check an item from my lists or I put a book on the wrong shelf. This is a catastro—”

“It’s a mistake, sugarcube. Those two forgave you, you promised to be at their side and there’s nothing else you can do but being a good friend and ‘Auntie’. It’s like ya feel the need to paint yourself as a monster just because there was somethin’ you couldn’t predict… and ah won’t let you.” Applejack felt warm tears riling up her cheeks and the unicorn ran to her side, nuzzling her neck.

“Ah don’t want to tell you how to live your life, but now that you have me ah won’t accept that. You’re not some kind of villain: you’re Twilight Sparkle! The mos’ wonderful pony ah ever met.”

Twilight blinked, her ears flattened as her lower lip stuck out, trembling. She quickly slipped a small kiss on Applejack’s cheek. “The next time you say you’re out of my league, you’re never, ever going to top.”

“Well, it’s not that ya ever let m—”

“But first we have something else to do before I start to snuggle you really hard: find some traces!”

“Rainbow Dash!” Twilight pointed a hoof toward the puzzled pegasus. “Fly in circles around the perimeter. Don’t let anything escape your sight!” Dash quickly composed herself and spread her wings, ready for action preceded by a military salute. “Pinkie Pie: follow Rainbow on the ground and tell me if your Pinkie Sense catches something.” The pink pony saluted Twilight and scrunched out the best serious, military face she could muster, hopping on her way. “ Applejack, I want you to—

“Ah found a feather.” Twilight somehow...deflated. Applejack hated to be such a killjoy for the eloquent, over analyzing unicorn, but just like she always thought, simple things are the best and a feather in plain sight is worth more than any complex team strategy.

It was a grey feather, and as all the ponies present were concerned, it only could have belonged to the least likely culprit in the history of everything.

***

Derpy Hooves was the villain.

The dark, looming presence that threatened peace and happiness. The unending threat to everypony and their loved ones. The dark force that corrupted the land and turned joy into sorrow and victory to despair. The great enemy, the devourer of worlds…

The Evil Sorceress with the Fancy Hat!

“You will never win, Brave Hero Dinky! Muahahahaha!” Derpy Hooves flaunted her black cape and feather hat as she let out an enthusiastically evil laugh. The little filly in front of her waved a wooden sword, trying very, very hard to not let her heroic expression ruined by laugh.

“Good will always triumph, Evil Sorceress with a fancy hat! And you want to know why?”

“Because Good always has a balanced breakfast?”

“That too. And the fact that I know your weakness!” Dinky Hooves jumped and striked true with her sword, knocking out the fancy hat to the ground.

“Noooo!” Derpy cried out and collapsed to the ground, wriggling like a giant worm inside her black robe. “I’m melting! I’m melting! Oh, what a world, what a wooorld…” She continued to flail her legs about under the dark cape for a while until she suddenly stopped and laid there, unmoving. Dinky gave a timid poke to the black blob on the floor.

“Mom? You haven’t melted for real? Again? Should I call the doc—”

“Boo!” Derpy jumped out from the cloth, sending the poor filly screaming down the hallway. She leaned her head just a few inches out of the living room’s door.

“N-nice one, Mom!”

“I didn’t scare you much, right muffin?” She walked over her daughter, leaving the dark cape behind and wearing instead a kind smile.

“Of course not, Mom!” Dinky pouted. “I’m a grown mare now. I was just getting in character. That’s all.”

“Sure the brave, grown mare that runs away because of her mom…” Derpy muttered aside, hiding her mouth with a hoof.

“What?!”

“What?”

They both shrugged before the filly tackled her mom with a hug. “Thanks for finally finding some time to play with me, mom.

“No problem, muffin.” She ruffled her daughter’s mane and pinched her cheek.

“I almost thought that you weren’t going to make it today. You know, because of work. What, the letters you’ve got to deliver just reproduce overnight?”

“Well…” she blushed, wondering where in the hay she picked up that word. Or that meaning of the word. “It’s not like that. I just had something really important to do. You know, Mommy business. Besides, you don’t even know where letters come from!”

“Well, what about foals? You never told me where foals come from. All I know is that you need a long snak—”

“Oh! Look at the time! I think you should go to bed right now.” Derpy jumped in the air and floated her way as she tried to push her daughter out of the room, who scrunched up her face and sighed.

“Seriously, Mom...Thanks again for playing with me. I missed that.”

Derpy stopped and watched the gloominess in her daughter's eyes. Her Mother’s heart felt like clutched by a steel claw. “I’m always there for you. Always.” she pulled the little filly in the tightest embrace.

“I know that, Mom. It's just that...I don’t know. There are some days when I feel so lonely.”

“Didn’t you have friends at school? There’s Applebloom and her two friends and Berry’s sister and there was, what’s his name, that nice colt, Rumble, that you still think he has a crush on you—”

“That’s not the point!” Dinky screamed while her cheeks were turning so red to radiate the same amount of heat of a white dwarf. “The point is I miss—I miss somepony else to greet me when i return from School.

“You can always invite your friends over. I won’t get mad, you know. Also, sometimes I can return early and—”

“I miss Dad.”

The room turned so eerily quiet that the all sucking void of space would have sounded like a rock concert in comparison. Derpy wanted to scream, to yell until she lost her voice, to trash her house and punch walls so hard to disintegrate them. Basically, throwing away years of keeping her sorrow hidden for the sake of the filly she loved more than life itself. Soiling the memory of the stallion she loved with a foalish, useless outburst. She kept caressing her filly’s mane with an absent look.

“I know I didn’t know him very well, but I remember him. I always will. He was the first to call me ‘muffin’.

“You still remember that?” she sniffled, trying to be unheard by her daughter.

“Always. I just miss being a family again. Is that wrong?”

"No!” Derpy firmly said, with such resolve and conviction that her googly eyes for a split second looked...normal was a word too strong for it, but at least they seemed to be perfectly aligned. This hurt quite a bit and Derpy steeled herself to never let it happen again. “It’s not wrong. It’s what everypony deserves or takes it for granted, but it’s the best thing in the world. But…” she bit her lip. “Am I not enough for you?”

Dinky stood on her hindhooves and landed a kiss on Derpy’s forehead. “You’re the best mom in the world...and I’m just dumb filly that talks too much.” She beamed to her mom and trotted her way to her bedroom. “Night Night!”

Derpy waved silently at her, completely smitten by the most affectionate and loving filly in the world. “D-Dinky!” She called her like she was at one mile away.

“What is it, Mom?”

“Would you mind if, one day, we’re gonna be three again? Or more?”

Dinky just smiled in return. “It would be nice.”

The filly ran up the stairs and into her room. Just to see her smile, everything was worth it. Even hiding some of the truth from her.

Derpy turned back and tripped over the black cape and almost face first on the sofa. “That’s what happens to the bad guys.” She whispered, sneering at the cloth and massaging her ankle. She tiptoed with catlike tread all the way to her bedroom and unseen to everything and everypony, she pulled out from under the bed a brown saddlebag.

Her blood froze and she even didn’t have the force to open it once she saw Twilight Sparkle’s cutie mark embroidered on it.

“What have you done, Derpy?” she muttered in the measly hope that somepony else would give her an answer.

She picked up the fruit of her crime and walked away, praying to everything and everywhere that her daughter won’t wake up in an empty house. She slipped out and close the door, feeling like Stars and Moon were accusatory eyes, each and every one of them pointed at her.

She ran away from them, as fast as she could. Every bad thought flowing in her brain was turned into fuel for her legs and wings, just to hurry up and give a sense to this night. Dark alley after dark alley she zipped, making barely a whisper with the soaring of the winds across her feathers.

When she saw the shadowy silhouette making a nod, Derpy gulped and approached it, softly landing at few inches from it.

Perfectly punctual as usual. Not even the need of a grand entrance to make her presence known. The figure just raised a hoof, asking the permission to talk, but Derpy shushed her with her own dramatic gesture: she threw the incriminated bag at the figure’s hoof.

“Stop.” she raised a hoof in front of the figure. “Just let me talk. Just let me explain, because it’s a long story. I know what I did. I’ve took this from Twilight and yes: I feel horrible about it, don’t even ask. Twilight was— is my friend. A good friend. She never, ever raised her voice against me. Never even commented on my eyes or made some stupid joke. Not even as some kind of friendly retort. Even you made some, but don’t worry, I’m not angry for that.” This drew a nervous laughter from the pegasus mare. “She is intelligent enough to not look at this thing and treat me with kindness and respect. And you know why I did this to her? For us.”

She saw the figure still being uncharacteristically silent. Silent judgement is the worst.

“There’s a little filly that wishes to have a family again. Who am I to deny it to her? The moment you told me about it, the moment I knew Twilight was working on this thing I knew what I had to do. I couldn’t ask her because—How could I have explained it? What she would have thought of me? No. What she gave to me was already too much...I want to stay with you. I want to get old and grey with you. I want a foal with you and that thing here is the only thing that can let us! But not at this price…Sweet Celestia, what have I done?” she slumped down on her rump and started to weep softly.

The figure stepped out of the shadows, covering her eyes with her large magician hat. “The Great and Powerful Trixie thinks we have really screwed up.”

“We? You haven’t done anything.”

“The Humble and Apologetic Trixie feels responsible anyways. It was Trixie that told you about this thingy. I just happened to know that she was working—”

“You spied on her!” Derpy pointed out. “Also, are you Powerful or Apologetic right now? I can’t keep track of all these changes!” Derpy pouted, stomping with a hoof on the grass.

“It’s the force of habit, dear. But seriously, what are we going to do? Also, I swear it just happened. The whole spying part, I mean.”

“If you say so. I was thinking of—I don’t know, put it back where I found it—”

“Stole it.” Trixie intervened.

“Yeah. Or maybe put it back at Twilight’s place.”

“Won’t she get a little...suspicious if she found it back at her place? What, were you thinking about leaving a little apology card?

“How did you kno—Never mind. After I clonked her on the head it’s going to be a bit difficult.” This drew another sheepish grin before Trixie’s astonished gaze. The kind of smile that said ‘Please Celestia, kill me now.’

“What?!”

“What?”

Trixie slammed a hoof on her forehead. “Right...One problem at time.” Trixie vigorously rubbed the bridge of her nose with a hoof with so much force to nearly turn her face into blue putty. “Wait! I have something in mind. Something that can save us both. A cunning plan, even!”

“Really?” Derpy giggled. “I knew I could count on you. You’re the smart one. I can just make a mess.” Derpy buried her gaze on the ground, until she felt a pair of tender lips landing on her cheek. “I don’t want you dragged into this mess. I-I don’t to be a burden in your apologetic thing...I don’t want Ponyville to see you as the villain again.”

Trixie pulled her in a tight hug. “If I can’t help the mare I love, I’ll always be a villain in my own eyes.”

“Trix…” she whispered as the dark blue mare was pulling her lips close to her own. She could feel her breath tingling on her grey snout, her heartbeat loosening and the fears dissipating as she approached her inch by inch. If she had that bombastic and totally adorable mare at her side, she knew there was a way to solve things.

That was when a bright, gigantic flash of purple light dissolved the darkness of the alley, coming from the horn of a purple unicorn like a beacon. The couple frozen in the act watched four very confused and shocked mares.

“D-Derpy!” Twilight said, her right eye twitching slightly.

“Twilight!” Derpy screamed, putting her hooves in front of her as a pathetic effort of a barrier.

“Trixie?” Applejack said, confused.

“Twilight!” Trixie bit her lip.

“Trixie!” roared Rainbow Dash.

"Pinkie!” Pinkie chirped.

“Run!” Trixie shouted, popping out a smoke pellet and grabbing Derpy by the foreleg, ready to run and disappear into the night. “So much for the cunning plan!"

Author's Note

Sorry for the late update but you know how it goes: one tiny, little author thinks he got everything together and life just blindsides him! Who would have thought the identity of the dildo thief? And more importantly her reasons? Well, me since I wrote the damn thing.

Chapter 5

“So, uuum, what are you doing here, exactly?” Derpy Hooves saw many, many weird things in her life, but not often she saw a disgruntled unicorn lodged headfirst in a cloud.

“The Humble and Apologetic Trixie tried to do the daily cloud clean up. Wasn’t that obvious?” If her head wasn’t so buried in the cloudy surface she would have probably seen that her claim was dubious at least.

“You know, the weather team already deals with that. I have this friend who can do it all by herself, even! Ten seconds flat, as she likes to say.”

“Yes. Trixie is aware of that, but Trixie really, really wanted to be helpful and, well, I seem to make poor decisions as of lately. Many poor decisions.” The rump stopped talking. “It seems I’m stuck here.”

“I can help, if you’d like.”

“The Great and Power—Erm, Humble and Apologetic Trixie can do this alone, thank you.” The blue unicorn wiggled her flanks wildly and flailed her hindlegs around, stopping at mere inches from Derpy’s googly eyes. She sidestepped very quickly, not wanting to risk having a hoofmark right on her face.

“You need something?”

“An energy drink!” Trixie’s rump shouted before falling limp and silent. “You know what? A little push won’t hurt…”

Derpy smiled and grabbed the magician’s hindlegs, instead pulling as hard as she could. Trixie popped out of the cloud, landing rump first in Derpy’s lap. She felt cold, moist even, in her hooves but still had that elegant nonchalance that permeated all of her actions, not even bothering to look in her eyes.

“You’re welcome, by the way.” Derpy snickered.

“Uh? Oh, yes. Thank you. You know, I never catched your name, by the way…”

“I’m Derpy...You prefer Great and Powerful or the other one?”

“I guess everypony still remembers me, right?” a deep sadness was etched in her eyes. The kind of sadness a pony could carry alone and only alone. The kind of sadness Derpy couldn’t stand. “And not in a good way. If you want to throw me at the ground for some past misdeeds I’ll accept it with grace.”

“No, actually I won’t.”

“Y-you won’t?” the unicorn tilted her head in total, unadulterated disbelief. “But...but I have enslaved ponies for my amusement, warped the land with eldritch magic, tilted every painting I came across to give headaches to the townsfolks!

“I don’t have any painting at my place so I guess you’re not that bad. Not in my eyes at least.”

Speaking of eyes, Trixie just couldn’t stop staring at Derpy’s uneven eyes. Unless the googly eyed pegasus had just developed some kind of hypnotic power, she had already an answer. “Yes, they are always like that. You get a free joke.”

“I’m not, um...Sorry. Your eyes are cute. One eye, that’s it. I swear wasn’t going to say the other one stopped looking at it.”

Derpy stifled a little laugh. “Never heard that one before. I mean it! You’re funny. “

Trixie chuckled, a small wave of relief engulfed her heart when she didn’t see a hoof landing on her face. There was another pony willing to give her a second chance. Willing to see Trixie behind villainous actions and boastful, bombastic titles.

“Just Trixie.”

“Huh?”

“You can call me just Trixie.”

“Alright… Just Trixie.” Derpy Hooves kindly, causing Trixie to join in, snuggling on the pegasus’ grey coat. Finally at peace, even for a few moments, in the company of somepony she had just met, but felt so close to her own heart already. It felt almost like a cheap romance novel where the tormented heroine finds herself somepony that cares for her in the darkest hour and at the end they—

Derpy coughed. “You don’t want to get down, won’t you?”

“It feels so nice in here…”

“Alright…” the pegasus rolled her uneven eyes. “Just a few minutes.”

***

“Do you think we lost them?” Derpy Hooves whispered, clutching deeply the unicorn magician, her cheek glued unto Trixie’s, squeezed together in a cardboard box. Why you always bring that thing with you? Derpy once asked. Now she knew and Trixie felt awesome.

“I hope so! Maybe they’ll leave us alone now. We left behind the magical dildo so Twilight and the girls should be content for now.” Trixie blinked. “That is one of the weirdest things I ever said.”

“Well, we said that before: just giving it back won’t work. They still have to catch the thief.” Derpy paused, her googly eyes wandering around, searching for an answer that Trixie couldn’t provide. Just minutes ago she said the only thing the magician wanted was to help her beloved, and now her mind was more useless than a horizontal wheel.

“I should give in.” Derpy sighed. “Yeah, I’ll tell her that it was all my idea and that’s it.”

“Are you crazy?! What if she tells it to the Royal Guards and the Princess Herself knows it? What would your daughter think about you?”

“That her mother isn’t a liar or a coward.”

"Yeah! And that she won’t be on this planet anymore. I hope the Moon is nice in this season…” Trixie, of course, didn’t have the time to tell her how proud she was of the mailmare and couldn’t tell her the extent of her admiration. “I suppose it’s out of the question If I take all the blame.”

“You’ve never been the Moon type, anyway.” she quietly giggled.

“Trixie had to try that.”

“Didn’t you have a cunning plan?”

“Yeah, before they saw us. But if we make a few adjustments to the plan…” The wheels and cranks of her showmare mind started to turn again, recreating and modifying the first crazy idea from the back of her mind. “I suppose you don’t have a 400 pound tub of jelly?”

Derpy glared at her.

“All right, then we have to settle for the B plan.” She whipped out of her hat a black, plastic trinket and put it around her neck. “Just trust me and play along, alright?” she winked, leaving Derpy quite confused. Before she could even think to ask, Trixie jumped out of their hiding place, her cape billowing in the wind. Derpy made a mental note to ask her if she really wears it all the time.

Would that cape still billow on the Moon?

“Twilight Sparkle! Here I am! Come and get me!” she shouted, prompting Derpy to slap her forehead silly and mouth What the hay are you doing, you inconceivable pony! but no sound came from her mouth.

“I have the Alicorn Amulet in my hooves! Yes, that’s right. Another one! Bigger and better! And I’m not afraid to use it, Sparkle. I also have a thrall now! Thralls are cool!” She turned towards Derpy’s corner of night. “Isn’t that right, thrall?”

Derpy was slow to learn, she barely complete the Sunday Saddloku on the newspaper, but damn it if she couldn’t understand that plan B! “Oh, yeah! I be doing your bidding, my dark mistress! I’m totally yours, body and soul! Ravaaaage me with thy will, make me yours and yours alone, make me dance like a puppet of—”

“That’s enough, thrall.” she deadpanned. Derpy stopped as the sad realization reared its ugly head.

“Stupid Trixie…” she muttered. “I told you I was going to handle it.” She saw her favourite unicorn turned towards her with a bittersweet smile on her face.

A faint purple light approached and in the darkness they heard the sound of approaching hoofsteps. Lightened by the the purple light, she saw the four familiar faces. Twilight Sparkle looked at her determined, her analytical mind carefully planning a way around Trixie’s (not really) dangerous artifact, while the other girl were simply ready to jump at the magician at her next move.

Even Pinkie Pie, the epitome of friendliness and cheerful attitude, looked strangely intimidating. Even with a pair of glasses and fake moustache. That is one question that is in no need to be answered now.

“It’s over, Trixie! Drop the Amulet, release Derpy and nopony will get hurt.”

“You’ll have to take it from my cold, dead hooves if you want it Sparkle..” She twirled it in her hooves with a smug grin, a huge drop of nervous sweat crossing her brow. Derpy still thought to scream What the hay are you doing and be done with it.

“Just tell me why!” the purple unicorn cried out.

“Why what?”

“Why me? Why Derpy? Why the mystical surrogate? Why being such a jerk again? Why...Everything?!”

“Is that what it’s called?” Pinkie giggled. “I mean, it’s like the title of a bad comic book!”

“Yeah, in my head I always called it the magic co—”

“Epistemology is not the problem right now, Rainbow!” Twilight blinked. “And I never thought I’d have to say that. Again in the same day!”

“I still think my name is better.” Rainbow grumbled. Pinkie patted her back to comfort her.

“Because...Isn’t that obvious?” Trixie then realized to not have fully prepared her plan. “Because It’s what I do.” she quickly turned towards Derpy for a suggestion, any suggestion. Derpy shrugged.

“Ya needed an Alicorn Amulet. An Alicorn Amulet, by the way, we still have no idea where it came from?” Sometimes, a mare’s job was to point out glaring flaws so obvious to still be hidden at a first glance on a problem. Applejack was that mare.

“And to steal magical dicks now?” Rainbow chuckled. “Boy, you’ve really sunk low.”

“Yeah, it’s not Trixie’s finest hour…” Which was the understatement of the bucking millennia. “I just...couldn’t stand idle while my greatest rival made groundbreaking discoveries in the field of magic!”

“And ya needed poor Derpy here?” Applejack stepped in, pointing a hoof toward the gray pegasus, still in mesmerized thrall mode, waving her forelegs back and forth like a drone.

“The simplest thralls are best thralls. No offense.”

“None taken, huh, mistress.”

“But it doesn’t matter, now! I have the second Alicorn Amulet so I’m invincible now!”

“Do something, then.” Twilight smirked.

“What?” Trixie’s heart skipped a beat and she could feel a huge anvil hovering on her head.

“Throw me out of Ponyville for example, rearrange my body parts or turn me into a puppet or bubbles. I’m sure you can do that with your newly established Artifact of doom.” she raised an eyebrow. “Can you?”

The worst part of any trick are some wise guys always around that know it’s a fake and won’t hesitate to babble about it. In that case, every showmare knew what to do: Bluff.

Bluff like no tomorrow. The wilder the bluff, the better.

“Are you willing to risk it?”

“You would have already zapped me or something before we even came out of the alley so where’s the risk. Unless you can’t do it for some reason and you’re just buying some time for—”

“Will somepony do something for Pete’s sake?!” Pinkie Pie cried out of nowhere and like a pink flash of lightning snatched the amulet out of Trixie’s neck, to the mare’s befuddlement, stomping it in tiny pieces on the ground with all fours, jumping up and down to grind the plastic in dust.

Six Ponies. All speechless. Trixie tried to babble something, but the gears in her mind just stopped and cracked.

Aaaand Checkmate...Trixie thought and the anvil fell.

Pinkie Pie stood there looking at her work, panting and nearly grinding her teeth into dust. Trixie even thought that the same fate of the trinket would fall on herself! Rainbow Dash took a step toward her. A very slow, careful step.

“Pinkie? Are you okay?”

The moment she saw the pegasus, she calmed down instantly and threw herself at her in a gripping hug. “It was so...so inconsequential! I had to do something! It was like one of those movies with cowponies where they stare at each other before shooting and the music grows and grows and you wonder who’s going to shoot first...except nopony was going to do anything! It was so boring!” she sobbed, burying her face in the pegasus’ blue chest.

“There, there...But never do that again without warning! I mean, you’re with foal! What if you shake it up a little too much?”

“You are?” Trixie gasped.

“I am?” Pinkie asked. “Oh, yeah, right! Well, you too!”

“Was it a statement or a not really working joke?”

“Both.” Pinkie grinned.

“Trixie…” Twilight cleared her voice,showing no doubt some palpable embarrassment in her tone of voice. “I think it’s over.”

“It was worth a try.”

Derpy Hooves quickly walked to the showmare’s side and lightly slapped her face.

“Ouch! What was that for?”

“That was for taking the blame without telling me.” Then, without warning, pulled her into a hot, desperate, savage kiss, causing the showmare’s cheek to erupt in a ferocious blush. “And that’s just because.”

“So...wow, you two are…?” Twilight alternately pointed between the ditzy pegasus and her (not really) rival.

“No. I am. I’m not a thrall or anything. I-I’m the one you search.” Derpy said solemnly, her uneven eyes trying to escape Twilight’s gaze. “I’m the thief. Trix is completely innocent.”

“But why? I mean, how did you know that I was working on the magic co—Mystical surrogate?”

“Well, Trixie told me because she just overheard you one day. I was showing her how pegasi work with the clouds and everything—”

“Overheard, huh?” Twilight glared at Trixie and her three friends followed shortly, causing Trixie to give a sheepish grin and a nervous, tortured laugh.

“I was just curious, that is all…”

“It was me following you at Sweet Apple Acres and when I heard Pinkie and Rainbow’s foals, well, I couldn’t think straight anymore. I know that we aren’t as close as friends like you are with Dash and the others and I-I was scared. I acted on an impulse and everything turned to crap...I’m sorry!” she sobbed, clinging on Twilight Sparkle while the librarian hugged her back and caressed her mane.

“I guess you needed that with Trixie, right?”

“I just wanted to have a family again. I mean, I have Dinky, but I wanted somepony else at my side. Have a foal with that special somepony like anypony else deserves. Is that so wrong?”

“No, it’s not wrong...But why you didn’t ask me?”

“I was so embarrassed. I mean, I knew that was a private experiment of yours, things that only a special somepony should know…”

Applejack blushed and pulled her hat on her eyes. She could still hear Rainbow’s snicker.

“Oh, Derpy…” both unicorns sighed and hugged the grey pegasus in the same moment. One didn’t notice the other until Derpy gave a very polite cough of warning, squeezed between the two.

“If you want to take me to the guards I won’t object. If you want to strike me in the head in return I won’t object either.”

“No, I won’t.”

“What?!” Trixie jumped between Twilight and Derpy. “The guards or the head?”

“Yes!”

“Oooohh….Mathematician Answer. You clever little Sparkle, you.” Trixie didn’t notice, but on her lips appeared a smile so wide her face could’ve split in two.

“W-what? You aren’t angry?”

“A little for the whole sneaking in the barn and hitting me on the head, but what the hay! Nopony’s perfect. You were just confused, Derpy. I know you didn’t mean no harm and even if you really could’ve found a better way to deal with it, I forgive you. No harm done.” she offered her hoof as tears of joy were riling up Derpy’s cheek. “Friends?”

Derpy bumped her hoof with Twilight’s and everything was fine.

“I’m sorry, Twilight…” Derpy sobbed and Trixie handed her a handkerchief with a magic whisp. “I hope you got the mystical thing back.”

“What? I thought you still had it!” She turned towards the other girls who all shook their heads.

The farmpony sighed and knocked out Trixie’s hat to the ground, causing a black cylinder to pop out from it. “Really?” she said, rolling her eyes until the were on the back of her head. “Ah mean, really?”

“Trixie!” Derpy yelled, astonished.

“Well, It was just laying there and nopony noticed and—and I’m an idiot. You know, if something went wrong I could still take the blame...”

Twilight chuckled. “Like I said, nopony’s perfect. Now, I guess you have to be back to your daughter, right Derpy?”

“Oh, right! What if she wakes up in the middle of the night for a glass of water or a bad dream and she doesn’t find me? We should hurry up! And by we I mean you and me!” she circled Trixie's shoulders with a foreleg, causing the showmare’s heart to skip a beat.

“W-what? Me?”

“Well, I guess I should tell my daughter that I’m seeing the Great and Powerful Trixie, right?”

Trixie felt a warm, fuzzy sensation in her chest. She could feel the mailmare’s embrace and everything felt...right. Just right. She was already seeing herself or Derpy on the cold surface of the Moon, but instead found out and hoped and prayed to have many years on the Earth...with her by her side. “I would love that.”

“Well!” Pinkie Pie patted her hooves together. “I’m glad this subplot went so smoothly!”

“Subplot? The Great and Powerful Trixie it’s not a subplot! Trixie deserves at least twelve, no, fifteen volumes to tell the story of her life! For the abridged version!”

“Don’t ask me.” Rainbow rolled her eyes. “I’m her fillyfriend and I don’t get half of her stuff.” She blinked and glanced towards her belly. “Hope it’s not genetic…” she muttered.

“Well, from what she said of her family, ah think she’s the one kooky apple in the orchard, but that’s what you fancy, isn’t it?” Applejack winked and gave a little nudge with her elbow to her friend.

“We should throw a party, right?” Rainbow pulled close to her her fillyfriend. “No scratch that, we’ve got to have a party. The partiest of parties!”

“You know...You should rest, Pinkie Pie. You shouldn't get so worked up. What if I’m the one to throw a party for once?” Twilight beamed at her.

“You would? Ohmygosh, it’s a great idea! The smartest pony ever is throwing a party for us, Dashie!” she jumped up and down on the spot, prompting Rainbow to protectively drag to the ground without a word.

“And we are telling Rarity and Fluttershy and the Cakes and anypony else you want.” Rainbow landed a small kiss on Pinkie’s cheek.

“Of course! And you two are invited.” she pointed Derpy and Trixie, who looked at each other in disbelief.

“Yep, I just said that. If Twilight thinks you are her friends then you are my friends, too. After all, you just wanted a foal so bad and maybe if Twily here drinks enough cider, eats a lot of chocolate and you ask reaaaal nicely maybe she will—”

“I want to earn that.” Derpy interrupted the bouncing pink mare. “Twilight, even if you are so kind to let me one day use the dildo and Trix is okay with that—”

“Woof!” the showmare wiggled her eyebrows and gave a little nudge of her own to Derpy.

“I want to be worthy of it. I’m just not ready yet. Not in my eyes. I want to see myself as your friend again and not just a thief in the night.”

Twilight just nodded and gave a smile of profound admiration to the pegasus.

Trixie saw her beloved pegasus shudder a little and placed her cape on her shoulders. Her smile was worth more than a thousand words and Trixie felt at home. She finally belonged somewhere and no trick in the world ever achieved that.

Pinkie Pie kept rambling about parties and names, still undecided about the foal’s own, but each and every one and them sounded like a variation of ‘Rainbow Pie’. She nuzzled Rainbow’s neck along the way, who unfurled one of her wings to cover her back, releasing a dreamy giggle from the party pony.

Applejack still felt a little confused by the events, but when Twilight mirrored Pinkie’s gesture and brushed her purple cheek against Applejack’s own, she knew there was nothing to worry about anymore. She always knew that her friend and lover, had a bigger heart than anypony could ever know and even that day she didn’t fail to demonstrate it. There were many fancy words that could have explained what she felt, but none of them was worthy of Twilight.

The six happily chatted along the way, feeling content for a night that went so peacefully, against every expectation.

***

Clyde Pie was sitting on the porch of his farm, as he watched the workers carrying back and forth the finest igneous rocks the land had to offer, while his wife Sue sat beside him, lazily turning the pages of a book. His daughters were just upstairs, quietly playing with each other and just goof off in that lazy afternoon.

It was quiet day. Perhaps too quiet. Maybe it was one the signs of the old age, but he found himself dwelling on the past. A past where no afternoons, or morning, or evenings for that matter were quiet. Not when his youngest daughter used to live with them and fill their days with pink colored chaos.

He turned towards the mare and sighed. “I miss Pinkie!” They both said and gave a quiet giggle for it.

“Oh my, were you thinking about her as well?” Sue chuckled again, adjusting her glasses.

“I’m turning so predictable?”

“Well, it’s a thing that Fathers do. I would be surprised of the contrary.”

“Yes. It’s just that...I miss the random parties, streamers popping out of purposefully emptied rocks scattered all around and laughter. Oh, how I miss the laughter!” he smiled but he quickly composed himself, nervously coughing.

“Well, why don’t we go and visit her?”

“All the way to Ponyville? Shouldn’t we, dunno, write her a letter to tell her we’re coming?”

“It will be a surprise. You know how she loves surprises.”

“Yes and she will probably say…” he cleared his voice. “Oh my gosh, Mommy and Daddy and Inkiei and Blinkie! All my family is here, this is the best surprise ever!” His Pinkie impression was decent, but that surely took its toll on Clyde’s vocal chords. He promised to himself to never do that again between coughs.

“I’ll go tell the girls then.” Sue hopped from the chair and went back inside. Clyde heard his daughters cheering at the news and it brought a smile to his lips.

***

Rainbow Blitz landed back on the front of his home at Cloudsdale and shook his wings, loudly yawning. He was just coming from his usual after lunch flights and he only wanted to see his bed, fearing it would feel a little neglected for using it only at night. Wife always insisted, though. Always telling him to worry about his health and get in shape, lest he would become a lazy, fat slob.

She was kinda of right. After telling the same thing everyday to their daughter he wouldn’t look so good, wouldn’t he?

A small, pink pegasus with a bright blue mane came out of the door and kissed his neck as she let one of his wings cover her back. She was aiming to nibble his ear but she always was one head shorter than him. “Welcome back, dear. Enjoyed the flight?”

“As always.” He kissed her cheek. “But the best part is coming home to find you.”

“Aaaww, you flatterer, you! But before you go in Dream Land I’ve got to tell you something.”

“I knew that: there is another stallion!” He put a dramatic hoof on his forehead and started sobbing. “Oh, spare me the cruel truth! I’ll just quietly disappear in the night—”

Firefly sighed and shook her head. In time, she became downright immune to her husband’s bullshit. “I thought we should drop by at Dash’s.”

“Why is that?” Blitz quickly returned being the reasonably respectable stallion and quit the charade in the bat of an eye.

“Why not? That girl is probably forgetting she has parents. Sometimes I think she must be embarrassed of us. Well, mostly of you.”

“You wound me, you cruel, beautiful mare.”

“You’re a big guy, you can take it. But seriously, what do you think about it?”

“Dunno...When do you think we should go?”

“Tomorrow.” She stated nonchalantly.

“Tomorrow?! Without warning or anything?”

“Why not? What’s the worst she could do?”

“Well, she could yell, stomp her hooves and say something along the line of ‘Ugh, that is uncoool! How am I supposed to become a Wonderbolt with you around? You break my awesome concentration.’ Am I right?”

Firefly blinked. Never before she heard such a good Dash impression. “I think you are right? What’s the worst that can happen?”

Author's Note

Until they release a canon name, Rainbow Dad will always be Rainbow Blitz for me. He looks a lot like Rule 63 Dash after all. Strong Family Resemblance? Possibly. Also, don't worry: Dixie will come back. The subplot isn't over yet!

Chapter 6

If there was something positive to say about Twilight Sparkle is that she keeps her promises and keeps her good.

Rainbow Dash seldom saw Ponyville’s library adorned with banners, streamers and colored balloons as far as the eye can see. Actually, she never saw a real party being held in there.

Applejack’s barn saw more parties than that place!

But, lo and behold, Twilight was the cool friend she always was and every festive detail was in there. Even though there was something terribly off in it.

Sure, Rainbow wasn’t the kind of pony to refuse a free party with free food and drink, especially those fried pickles that were in grave danger of running out before their time, and Twilight was a good friend that did her best but the way that each balloon and papercut pony hanging around was placed there as if some mathematical equation pre ordered it to be so.

The fact that Twilight was continually adjusting a centrepiece like it was a matter of life and death didn’t help. Nor her mutters of ‘according to my calculation...’ and such. Not to mention the pegasus caught a quick glimpse of some schematics laying on the floor that Twilight pushed away with a hoof, discreet as an elephant...

Strange thing to notice when another friend is doing everything in her power to embarrass one’s future child and its future’s mother.

“Aren’t you the mosth adorable, little, thing in the world?” Rarity cooed and made faces at Rainbow Dash’s belly with her lips puckered and waiting to shower the unborn foal of kisses, whose mother really, really, really wanted to be elsewhere. “Yesh, you are!”

The pegasus’ eyeballs rolled up only to fall on the large banner that said in brightly colored letters: “We’re-having-babies-party-Whooohoo!”

The only input that Pinkie provided and Twilight did her best to imitate the calligraphy.

Rainbow insisted on a more original name for it, but in the end, she couldn’t think of a catchier, more accurate name than that. The ‘Whoooohoo’ was a nice touch she had to admit. Besides, deep in her heart, those were totally the words she would say.

At least the entertainment was good. Trixie of all ponies was providing for it. “Watch as the Great and Powerful Trixie pulls from her hat…” she sunk her foreleg in it and grabbed a grey pegasus from her mane, who looked slightly confused but still happy. “...a beautiful assistant!

Everypony cheered at the trick, the room resounding at the sound of their hooves.

“Oh my, I never thought you would really come!” Twilight said as she poured two glasses of punch for the two guest.

“The Great and Powerful Trixie never says no to a party.”

“Diiii-tto!” the mailmare clinked her glass together with Trixie’s. “I’m so happy we are friends again.”

“We never stopped being so.” Twilight patted Derpy’s back who blushed like crazy.

“Just a shame Spike isn't there.”

“Same reason I didn’t bring Dinky. We had this party with so little notice while she planned that sleepover with all the foals she knew. Plus, Spike.”

“Well, it was three months of notice versus two days.” Trixie downed her glass. “Still, it’s nice she knows somepony and dragons of her age.”

“Well, she said she felt lonely. “ Derpy caught with the tail of her hair a curtain of a pink mane approaching from above.

“Um, I don’t want to interrupt but what exactly happened between you three?” Fluttershy floated beside Twilight, Derpy and Trixie and tilted her in confusion.

“I hit Twilight in the head but we are friends now.” Derpy flashed a silly smile while Twilight and Trixie thwacked their foreheads.

Fluttershy blinked. “Of course.”

Rainbow coughed to signal somepony, anypony, to save her from the baby crazy monster formerly known as Rarity. “I don’t think he or she can hear you yet. I don’t know if it’s a he or she yet. It's a bit too early to tell. Am I right, Twi?”

“Yes, Rainbow.” Twilight nodded. “Their biological sex needs a few more months to be defined. Or their ears for that matter. Or their central nervous syst—”

“This doesn’t lessens my statement, darling.” Rarity playfully pinched one of Rainbow’s cheek.
“To me, they already are the most adorable, little thing in the world. And once they’re born I’ll make the littlest, most adorable adorable outfits that I can make. I could have knitted something in advance if I knew it earlier.”

“Hey, no problem. We have known for what, a couple of days?”

Pinkie Pie giggled from the other side of the room, as Fluttershy was hugging her deeply, holding onto her like she was afraid to lose the pink pony to the vacuum of space. “Aww, thank you, Rarity! Our foals will love them. I’m sure of that.”

“I really, really hope you two know what you’re doing.” Fluttershy cried out as she disengaged from Pinkie’s embrace before jumping few inches in front of Rainbow Dash. “In fact, let me know if there’s anything you need—"

“Aaand that’s four…” Applejack dryly commented, rolling her eyes. “Got all of us. How’s that even work?!” she whispered to Twilight, who nodded with a relaxed smile on her face.

“You decided already on their names, haven’t you?” Fluttershy blinked. “Uhm, not that I’m pressuring you or something…”

“Well, Dashie and I decided that she would choose the name of mine and I’m deciding hers. So far we have Surprise if she’s a filly.” Pinkie put a hoof under her chin, lost in her thoughts. “But no colt names, nor anything for Dashie…”

“Well, luckily I’ve brought this for you!” Twilight opened her saddlebag and magically pulled out a small book. “It’s a foal’s names book. Maybe there’s something you’ll like.”

“I think it lacks the personal touch this way, darling.” Rarity put a hoof on the purple unicorn’s shoulder. “I think it’s something every parent has to choose for themselves. I don’t think your parents choose your name from a book, right?”

“Well, no...Even though my mom named me after herself and they named her after her grandma...”

“Names are kind of a tradition in the Apple family, too. Granny’s great grandma was called Applejack, too. And ah think there’s a Big Macintosh in my Pa’s family tree. It’s so common.”

“Rainbow’s mother has a nice name. What was it again...” Fluttershy rubbed her temples to stimulate her neurons. “It started with a F…”

“Forsooth?” Pinkie suggested to Rarity’s confusion.

“No, something else. It’s an animal name…”

“Philamena?”

“No! That’s Princess Celestia’s pet phoenix. Also, I don’t think it was a bird name.”

“And technically it starts with a P.” Twilight coughed out.

“Fell Dragon?”

“Now you’re just saying random things for random’s sake for randomness!” Fluttershy’s legendary accommodating nature slightly cracked. but the pegasus quickly composed herself. “I’m sorry If I raised my voice.”

“It’s Firefly.” Rainbow threw her forelegs in the air in frustration. “I always thought it was so easy to remember. I mean, everypony knows fireflies!”

Fluttershy rubbed the bridge of her nose with a hoof. “Of course!”

“I like it!” Pinkie chirped, jumping up and down on the spot. “It’s short, right to the point, sounds cute and it’s the name of best pegasus’ ever’s mommy! Firefly Pie is it! It sounds so cool already!”

“If it’s a filly!” Rainbow immediately added. “We are doing this only if it’s a filly. What if he’s a colt? Poor guy might be stuck with a girl’s name just because his mommies couldn’t find better names. Twi! Find some names in that book of yours!”

“What’s your Daddy’s called then?” Pinkie tilted her head while Twilight nervously browsed through her book’s pages, completely oblivious.

“What?” Something struck Rainbow Dash right in the chest, a cold clutch of panic grabbing her without mercy.

“Your Daddy’s name. If it’s a colt I’ll call it like that.”

“There are a lot of cute names around. Why do you have use that?”

“Because only one belongs to your daddy! Unless he has several names, in which case I’ll have to use only one but that still belongs to him.”

“But why do you have to use that name?”

“Because you said I could choose any name I wanted for your foal and I want to use your daddy’s!” Pinkie stomped and nearly threw herself headfirst at Dash. “What’s wrong with your daddy?”

“M-my daddy? What’s wrong with my daddy? Why can’t we use yours, then?” Rainbow lunged forward and poked Pinkie’s snout with her own, visibly annoyed, even enraged, and firing from her nostrils.

A palpable air of hostility filled the room, hostility so unlike the other girls ever saw, so unlike Rainbow and Pinkie. Just a minute ago the two were getting perfectly along and now they were nearly at each other’s throats! Pinkie wasn’t as angry as she seemed, though. She felt a deep sadness that was barely visible in those deep blue eyes. Sadness of knowing that there was something that saddened Dash as well and forced her to be so grumpy and scared.

Before the things spiraled out of control Pinkie just kissed her on the nose and Rainbow Dash’s little outburst just deflated. Nopony had to be sad on her watch, least of all her Dashie.

“You’re cute when you’re angry.” Pinkie giggled and the other girls gave a small sigh of relief. Fluttershy was hiding under the table the moment Rainbow raised her voice an octave too much.

Rainbow ran a hoof through her mane and tried her best to avoid Pinkie’s gaze. “It’s Blitz...It’s Rainbow Blitz...Sorry.”

“No problem, Dashie. You know, there is still time for that. Like Twilight said we don’t know if they are even a he or a she, right?” she landed a small kiss on Rainbow’s cheek. “If you don’t want to talk about it yet we can wait.”

Dash chuckled, embarrassed. She hated herself for that outburst, hated herself for losing her temper with the pony she loved the most. But when she heard somepony else talking about him...Dash couldn’t see right but that wasn’t an excuse.

There was a knock on the door and Twilight silently thanked the unknown’s pony timing at defusing such an awkward situation. “I’m going.” Twilight trotted away and opened it with a magic touch.

“Why, hello Twilight!” Mr. Cake sported a wide smile, adjusting his mane and straightening his tie.”Is everypony here already?”

“Yes, they are. Pinkie worried that you two wouldn’t show up. What took you so long?”

“Well, we just got the good news and my wife didn’t think it was so goo—”

“Where is she?” A bright blue flash barged in and nearly trampled Mr. Cake as it made its way in the library, loose papers flying around in her wake. “Where is that adorable, irresponsible Pinkie Pie?” Mrs. Cake cried out and threw frantic glances among the guests. Fluttershy sighed in defeat and crawled back under the table.

Pinkie Pie gulped loudly and took a nervous step closer to Dash. She quickly patted her with a wing as if to say ‘good luck, honey.’ Well, Pinkie had strongly hoped the honey part.

“Hi, Mrs. Cake. Welcome to the party...I guess?” she flashed a nervous grin and a huge drop of sweat crossed her brow.

The older mare lunged at Pinkie in a crushing hug, causing the party pony to squeak a little. “How could have this happened?!” she bawled. “My little filly it’s not a filly anymore! How could you get baked so soon?”

Pinkie Pie steeled herself and unleashed all of her composure, her rationality and her self control to not burst out in the most potent laughter Equestria has heard. All the girls must have been doing the same since, well, even a party animal can understand when somepony’s else is genuine and would be downright mean to laugh, even if the joke is so good.

“Well, I guess you know that story with the birds and the bees. It just happened.”

“No, I mean...Who’s the father? Who is that even more irresponsible stallion that knocked you up? Who could have touched my little girl?!”

Rainbow took a step forward and saw her life passing before her eyes. It was a good life she lived, after all. Shame it had to end so soon. “I am that irresponsible, ma’am. “

Mrs. Cake turned and squinted her eyes, circling around Rainbow to examine every nook and cranny of the pegasus. “Very funny.” the older mare sneered. “Now where is he?”

“It really is me.” Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Yeah, feel free to think it’s weird.”

Mrs. Cake glanced at Pinkie who nodded. She turned again towards Rainbow and, very calmly, poured herself a glass of punch. Rainbow closed her eyes and prepared to have the drink spat on her coat. Instead, Mrs. Cake simply swallowed it and, still eerily calm, asked: “Pinkie, do you respect my intelligence?”

“No, Mrs. Cake! I mean, I do respect you, but this is the truth. Dashie is the father of my foal. And the other way around!.”

“W-what?” Mrs. Cake’s eye twitched weakly. “How’s that even...you too?” She jammed a hoof on Rainbow’s chest. “But how? How’s that—”

“Magic.” All the girls said at the same time as Mr. Cake tried to shake his wife out of her amazement.

“Well, that kinda makes sense.” Carrot Cake forcibly chuckled as his wife shook her head and her rightful anger seeped again in her eyes.

Well, at least half of it it’s magic, Rainbow thought, her secret still being kept.

“This means I have to blame you, too!” Twilight gulped in fear and quickly eyed under the table, still hoping that Fluttershy wasn’t already down there but in vain. Pinkie and Dash saluted her as the pink pony played a quick snippet of a funeral march from an out of nowhere flugelhorn.

“Twilight!” The librarian nearly expected a punch in the face, but instead the older mare grasped her hoof between her own. “You’re a level headed, intelligent pony. How could you’ve let them do...whatever they did because I certainly don’t want to know?”

Twilight sighed heavily. She didn’t want to blame Mrs. Cake, but it seemed to her that the whole universe was blaming her in return...until she saw Applejack’s green eyes and her warm smile, her words of encouragement and forgiveness echoing in her mind. “I made a mistake. I won’t sugarcoat it. I didn’t predict that…” She bit her lip, thinking on how to excise the most embarrassing details. “That it was virile.”

Mrs. Cake still winced. Could have been worse.

“But I know that I care about my friends as much as you. They decided to keep their foals, after all and I’ll do my best to help them be proper parents. And the same goes for all of us!”

Rarity, AJ and Fluttershy nodded, the pegasus finally having crawled out of the table. Trixie acted a little nonchalant until Derpy nudged her a little. The unicorn rolled her eyes and nodded as well.

Mrs. Cake cried a single tear of joy. “My little girl has grown.” She turned to hug both the blue pegasus and the party mare. Mr. Cake shrugged and just joined in the hug to the collective ‘Aaaaawww’ of the group.

“Know that we will be here for you.”

“I know. You are my second mommy and daddy and I love you so much. I hope I won’t be too much of a bother when they are born.”

“You won’t be. We’ll be keeping all the toddler’s stuff the twins don’t use and I think we have a second cradle around here.” Mr. Cake stopped to give a quick sniffle. “And I’ll teach you to change their diapers and everything. Oh, they grow up so fast!”

“We will give everything you need until you and Dash settled down properly. We just want the best for you.” Mrs. Cake brushed Pinkie’s mane who cooed gently.

“Settled down?” Rainbow blinked. “What do you mean by that?”

“It means you’ll have to give her a real home and stay always by her side and your foals and make her a honest mare!

“A honest mar—” Rainbow’s gears broke. Her eye started to twitch slightly. “I mean, shouldI marry her?”

“Well, duh!” the married couple shouted. Dash took a few steps backward as her head spun in confusion. It wasn’t against the idea of marrying Pinkie per say, but the whole idea of settling down, losing a tiny sliver of her freedom even if she had responsibility, a huge responsibility toward Pinkie Pie, it was mostly equine to react this way.

“Wait a minute!” Rainbow shouted in return. “Since she knocked me up as well...shouldn’t she be the one to marry me? Equal opportunities and all?”

“It’s true!” Pinkie hopped in place a few times. “In fact, let me think about it…” she ran near Twilight's door and turned inside out her saddlebag from which came out a mask of a Fluttershy’s costume, a rubber chicken, a jeweled cup radiating a holy light, a punk rock vinyl, a Vinyl scratch plushie, a jar containing a galaxy...but no rings. “Shoot!”

Pinkie Pie went to the refreshments table and ripped some aluminum paper Twilight used to cover the pineapple appetizers. She twisted and turned the paper until it was turned into a crude and incredibly light imitation of a ring.

“Oh my!” Rarity held a hoof to her forehead and nearly fell on the floor, only to Fluttershy and Twilight to catch her with a wing and a foreleg respectively.

“Dashie…” Pinkie Pie fell on her knees and presented the ring to Rainbow, whose jaw along with everypony else was laying on the floor. “Even though it’s not a real ring...Will you marry me?”

Rainbow Dash was really a softie after all. Just the biggest, uncoolest, most adorable softie in the world. Before she knew that totally uncool thing was already wrapped around her hoof, shortly followed by her forelegs around that chubby pink pony. “I’m totally going to marry you!”

The couple kissed followed by loud cheers and tears of joy. In the end, Twilight’s library had the best party of all.

***

“I love you, you know that?”

“Yup.” Rainbow caressed Pinkie’s cheek and planted a soft kiss on her forehead.”And I love you.”

Pinkie Pie giggled as the pegasus’ light blue wings wrapped around her, letting their warmth seep through her coat. Sleeping on a cloud felt even comfier when done beside one’s fiancee. She giggled like a maniac at the mere thought of calling Dashie like that.

“Wasn’t it faster to just go to my place?” Pinkie tugged Rainbow’s wings like a blanket.

“Nah. Don’t get me wrong but it would be a little awkward sleeping under the same roof with my sorta in-laws. Especially for what I got in mind…” Dash purred.

“Mnhh...Do you think it’s safe? For the foals, I mean?”

“Luckily, your awesome fillyfriend talked to Twilight and she lent me a book about intimacy.”

“She has some?”

“Not as many as I always thought, but yes. Very tasteful stuff, even. There’s nothing to worry about. In fact, it’s totally normal for couples to celebrate their baby with, you guessed it, sex!”

“But won’t you...bump into the baby or something?”

“Nope, It couldn’t be safer and I'll go really, really soft. It’s sealed off by some muscles and mucus so nothing will harm it, unless I have a porn star sized cock.” Dash sighed. “Which I don’t have, but it’s still bigger than the norm! A lot bigger!”

“And I can testify! Wow, Dashie: you really know a lot of things!”

She pounded proudly on her chest with a hoof. “I read.”

“Let’s do it then…” she whispered seductively in Dash’s ear before locking her pink lips with a pair of blue ones. Pinkie’s breath always made her tickle, like her very cells felt the need to spread joy and laughter. Those soft, pink hooves pressed her chest and rolled her to her back as her wings gently spread beneath her.

Pinkie’s voracious lips flew all over her face to deliver kisses and nibbles along Dash’s cheek, jaw line and her neck. Rainbow giggled and pulled the pink pony closer with a hug while she felt her gentle kisses go lower and lower only to land on her belly. Pinkie was crazy for that belly, waiting their night together to rub it and kiss it. Now that it contained their foal it was even more adorable to her eyes.

Rainbow just stood there to enjoy that delightful tickling sensation until a quick pain reached her crotch. She half opened an eye to see those mischievous hoof slowly peeling away the band aid hiding her pride.

“Already going for that, huh?”

“If you got a lollipop you got to enjoy it…” Rainbow’s member was already savoring the air of the night, tingling slightly against its skin, as it grew and grew, filled by her boiling blood and her burning desire. Its musky scent invaded the room and filled the party pony‘s nostrils, a small drop of precum slowly falling from the black monolith.

Without wasting any time, Pinkie locked her gaze with Dashie and started to gently stroke the appendage, her sensual touch fueling the flames of the athlete’s lust. She never broke eye contact with Dash as her hooves moved up and down her length, caressing the pulsing veins of her throbbing organ, small spurts of precum coming from the wonderful appendage.

Dash licked her lips greedily and Pinkie smiled in return before landing her lips on her cock, covering it with licks and nips, dragging her tongue along the lower part to cover every inch of her corpus, then finally on its tip, enveloping with a weird slurping sound.

Dash moaned in the pleasant shock and closed her eyes, concentrating only in the wonderful pressure building in her organ and the incredibly erotic noise of Pinkie’s slurping. When she felt Pinkie’s lips wrapped around her cock, going up and down her whole length, pounced on again and again by a bobbing pink head, who kept sucking as hard as possible.

Rainbow’s foreleg shook a bit, her breath went frantic and a shiver rolled up and down her groin as the pegasus’ eyes rolled into the back of her head. The moist, warm pleasure of her fillyfriend’s mouth enrapturing her mind. She automatically started bucking her hips in a savage frenzy to further immerse herself in the pleasure of that candy mouth, as a swelling sensation galloped all the way up from the base of her cock.

She reached the edge with a few final pumps and released her spooge in Pinkie’s mouth and all over her face, her hot stream hitting in an arc of hotter cum. Male and female orgasms showing up at her door but not as strong as she would have reached, until the next part of their night.

Pinkie Pie cleaned her face of the cum with one long swipe. “Mmmm...tasty, creamy goodness coming right from the source.” She poked Rainbow’s still erect appendage which wobbled weakly left and right. “You know what’s the best thing about you?” She kissed the tip sending another shiver of pleasure up Dash’s spine. “You’re a neverending source of...of…”

“Cum?

“Cum, awesomeness, it’s the same thing really.” They both chuckled and exchanged a warm smile as they switched position, Dash pinning Pinkie on the ground and giving her full view of her pulsating wings.

“You don’t mind if I top, right?”

“No, I like it when you’re top. Dashie is best topping!”

Without further ado Rainbow grabbed her dick with a hoof and slowly placed it near Pinkie Pie’s inviting folds, playing with a labia or two as it gained distance to further tantalize her lover. That wonderful warmth radiating from her most sacred spot filled her mind with the lustful of thoughts and yet a feeling of peace. Rainbow felt happy, happier than she’s ever been, because like she predicted few weeks ago she wouldn’t have to sleep alone anymore.

She slid inside and let the delicious pressure swallow her dick. It felt even tighter, actually. Layers and layers of thickness piled up around her, her lover’s anatomy concerned about protecting the new life inside her.

“Nnn..” she started moving back and forth, rocking her hips as slowly as possible as the pulsing heat of the steel like inner walls nurtured her desire. “If you squeeze like that I’ll be coming soon.”

“I’m not squeezing anything. It’s doing it on her own...Maaahh…”

Eventually, Rainbow persisted and found her pace, Pinkie’s hips grinding in the direction of her shaft, slickness abundant and easing her course. She didn’t want to go all out like she did every other time, for the sake of their foals. She may have read everything necessary but that primal instinct, that paternal need of protection was hardwired in her. Besides, she still found Pinkie’s exuberance, the warmth of her cavern, the sensual cooing and the sweet nothings whispered beneath the sea of lustful bubbling, incredibly hot.

At each stroke she became buried inside of her, balls deep, and began to feel the build-up to her climax poking at the back of her mind, not wanting to end that magical moment so early, to leave the embrace of the flesh. Alas, she could already feel the impending release growing hotter and more intense as she mindlessly pursued the last inches of pleasure that her lover, her best friend, her world was giving her.

“P-Pinkie Pie...Aaaah…” Dash released her essence inside her fillyfriend, filling as much as she could of her canal with her pegasus seed, violently trembling as the full force of her dual orgasm was squashing her senses. She collapsed in the forelegs of Pinkie Pie who used the final ounces of her strength to cover in kisses as her hot liquid spread a cozy sensation of warmness in her belly. Just like she felt it that first time with Dashie…

“I want to make it permanent…” Pinkie mumbled.

“What?”

“The cloud walking thingy. I want to live with you, I want to be part of your world...And when you’ll be a wonderful Wonderbolt at Cloudsdale I’ll be with you forever. Without having to bug Twilight.”

“We’ll find a way, Pinks.” she kissed her forehead and removed her member from Pinkie with a wet schluurp. “We’ll find it.” She snuggled at her side and fell asleep in her embrace.

***

Rainbow Dash woke with her snout buried in a pink bush.

That familiar scent of sugar, sweat and unfathomable enthusiasm filled her nostrils and she couldn’t be happier. She rubbed her eye with a hof and saw the also familiar surroundings of her bedroom and its guest in her tight embrace.

She couldn’t have a better wake up than this.

She tried to move and dragged her weight forward, but her belly bumped into Pinkie’s back a little earlier than she expected. That was she looked down and saw Dash Jr. poking from under the sheets.

“Nnhh...Dashie?”

“‘Morning, Pinkie Pie.” she leaned forward and landed a small kiss on Pinkie’s cheek, steeling her hindquarters to keep her girth away from her lover. She felt a little embarrassed by all of this.

“Am I still dreaming or am I really in your bedroom?”

Dash chuckled. After weeks of being together and sharing each other’s beds she always asked the same question. “It’s a dream. Then you’ll wake up and you’ll see me beside you anyways.” she grogged out rolling to Dash’s side and leaning her head on the pegasus blue chest, her eyes still closed.

“Uuuun...I like it. But since you are a dream, the real Dashie won’t know how much I love her…”

“I’m sure she knows and she loves you, too. She also thinks you are best pony.” she brought closer the pink pony to her, sharing her fuzzy body warmth.

Pinkie Pie giggled again and slowly opened her eyes, a smile quickly appearing on the lips that Rainbow wanted to spend the day kissing. “Morning, Dashie. You know, I was just dreaming about you!”

“Really? Was I cute in it?” she chuckled.

“As always. Also the hormones are making me go cuckoo, so I still feel a little tired.”

“You can still rest a little bit.” Rainbow kissed her pink cheek. “I’ll give you a lift when you’ve got to go to work.”

She cooed sweetly as if to say yes.

“I’ll make some breakfast first, how about that?”

Pinkie let a dreamy giggle as Dash covered her again with the sheet, allowing Dash to take a moment to admire the pink goddess on her bed, sleeping a well deserved few minutes of sleep.

There was a knock at the door and the magic moment was ruined.

“Must be Derpy with the letters or something.” she grogged out as she trudged towards the entrance.

When she opened that door, all of her blood froze and her face contorted in a horrified grimace of fear.

The light of the Sun did nothing to diminish the sheer horror, horror, of that moment and all of her courage failed to show up in that dire moment. She felt small, useless, vulnerable.

A little filly again before that terrible presence, but steeled herself for the sake of her foals and her loved one. She blinked and took another glance at the horrifying figures, the gears in her brain grinding together to form a plan and escape that moment before one of them opened its maw.

“Hello, Rainbow Dash!” Firefly chirped, her hoof waving at her daughter.

“Y-you...you…” Dash was still paralyzed at the sight of that polychromatic mane and that squared jaw of doom.

“Yes. Me!” Blitz chuckled. “You thought you had killed me, right? But instead, I came for my revenge! Muahahahahahaha!” Some thunder could be heard in the distance after the sinister laugh. Or in Rainbow’s head.

The cyan filly screamed at the top of her lungs waking up Pinkie Pie and probably everypony in the range of 1200 yards.

Firefly screamed in response.

Rainbow Blitz joined his wife and daughter before having the door slammed shut on his face. Rainbow gave her back to it and blocked it with the full weight of her body. She could hear several other knocks at her back.

“Dashie! Open the door!” Her mother shouted, understandably worried. “I’m sorry for your father, but he still has that condition: he’s a complete twat!”

“I take pills for that!”

“And they’re not enough! Dashie, please! Is everything alright?”

Rainbow’s teeth started chattering, her breath was short and Pinkie Pie was still sleeping. No plan in sight and nopony to help.

What to do?!

***

Discord woke up startled by the unholy scream on his liquorice hammock and removed the lower and upper part of Fluttershy he was using as ear plugs. Not that they did any help. He reassembled the still oblivious sleeping pegasus on her bed and patted her head.

“To think the day seemed so marvelous…”

Chapter 7

Pinkie Pie woke up, she felt a hammering sensation in her head. She rubbed her still sleepy eyes to see that not only there wasn’t a hammer or some kind of blunt object around, but there wasn’t a Rainbow Dash, either!

“D-Dashie?” she searched for her lover between the sheets only to find a few blue feathers scattered among the cloudy bed and still that pounding feeling in her skull.

That was when she saw her fiance blocking--or at least trying to--the door with all of her weight. She was sweating profusely and muttering something under her breath as the pounding on the door increased.

“Um...What are you doing? Is there something wrong with the door?” Pinkie inquired.

“More like what’s on the other side of the door. Something very wrong!”

“I heard you, you know!” a female voice shouted, legitimately indignated. Or at least Pinkie thought it was legitimate. It sounded like the kind of anger that only somepony’s mom would show.

“Come on, Dashie…” a groan followed. This time by a male voice. “I was just joking, open up!”

“Dashie? Who is it exactly that you are trying to keep out?”

Rainbow hung her head over her chest, followed by a loud, frustrated sigh. “My folks.”

“Oh, my gosh!” she jumped a few times, hopping all over Dash’s room, on the furniture, on the bed, on the scaffolds holding the limited edition Daring Do novels that Dash was starting to see as a distant memory…

”Your folks! Mommy and Daddy Dash! This is so great!” she pulled her pegasus fillyfriend in a crushing hug, her forelegs still trying and failing to desperately keep the door shut. “I’ve got to meet them!”

“No, nonononono!” Rainbow grabbed Pinkie’s shoulders and lifted her away from the door. “I don’t think it’s a good idea!”

“Why? What’s wrong with your folks?”

“Everything! Now be a good Pinkie and let’s go and hide until they’re gone. Manehattan! No wait, how’s Appleloosa in this season? Maybe Braeburn can give us Sanctuary! Or what about…?” Before she realized, Pinkie Pie was gone from her grasp and the pink pony lodged herself face first in the cloudy wall. Dash loudly gulped.

“HELLO MOMMY AND DADDY DASH!” A screaming head of a pink pony poked right through the cloudy wall, leaving a very puzzled pair of pegasi.

“Ummm...Hello?” said Firefly, before turning to her husband who shook his head in disbelief.

Pinkie Pie jumped and with her heart slamming on her ribcage, greeted the pair with a giant hug. “Ohmygosh, I’m so, so happy to finally meet you!”

“Urr...Likewise?” Firefly knew that in the most confusing situations, politeness was the only right answer, “Though we’ve never had the pleasure before…” Firefly squeaked.

“Mom… Dad…” Dash spat out the words frustratedly while she sighed and came out of the door, and tore her parents from her hug-obsessed fillyfriend’s bone crushing embrace before she could reduce them to a fine paste, “This is Pinkie Pie.”

“Pinkie Pie….? Oh , yes!” Rainbow Blitz smashed his hoof against the other, “I remember her! I mean, she talked about you in her letters to us,” the rainbow-maned stallion said.

“I’m Firefly. And this is my husband—” the pinkish mare with an electric blue mane was swiftly cut off by Pinkie’s exuberance.

“Rainbow Blitz, I know! Dashie told me just yesterday.” Pinkie shot a quick glance at the stallion. “He really is your dad! I mean, look at that mane,” Pinkie squealed.

“Letter, darling.” Firefly poked at her husband’s ribs, “Dashie here writes just a letter a year, apparently thinking it’s enough.”

“What? I’m a busy mare. Right, Pinkie?” The pink pony nodded with a huge smile on her face.

“I’m sure she didn’t mean to be mean to you, Mr. and Mrs. Dash. Dashie can be such an adorable featherhead!” she playfully ruffled Rainbow’s polychromatic mane. “And she is busy, what with being an adorable Wonderbolt trainee, and an adorable friend all around, and did I mention she is adorable?”

“Well, at least we agree on this point.” Before the ‘adorable trainee’ could fix her mane, Firefly pinched on Rainbow’s cheek and the cyan mare realized there was no escape from their combined cuteness.

“Um, by the way...I don’t want to offend you, but what was she doing with you, in your room, this early in the morning?” Finally, Blitz had called out the big elephant in the room, or on the cloud at least.

“Errrr…” Rainbow Dash bit her lip, her eyes shifting between her mother, her father and her fillyfriend. “Yeah, about that…” she reached Pinkie Pie with a hoof, only to find Pinkie’s own already wrapped around her shoulders.

“We are freshly engaged! E-n-g-a-g-g-e-d!” Pinkie chirped as she nuzzled the cyan mare, seemingly without a care in the world.

Dash was kind of disappointed at not being the one to give the good news. Or rub it in her dad’s face, at least. She would have used one ‘g’ less, too.

“What? Really?” Blitz’s eyes shone with a bright light, his smile nearly splitting his face. ”I mean, I would have accepted if she was just a one night stand, too!”

“Dad!” Dash blushed, the burning going all the way up to her ears. Firefly’s hoof met her forehead, silently wondering if it should have landed on her husband’s face.

“But you actually made her a honest mare? Or is the other way around?” Rainbow Blitz asked with a curious grin.

“What?!” Firefly held a hoof over her chest, “My question is why you didn’t tell us sooner?”

“It happened just yesterday! Besides, with Ponyville’s postal system we’d be lucky if you got the letter in what, a couple of weeks, maybe?” Rainbow didn’t hate Derpy, quite the opposite, actually, she counts Derpy as one of her closest friends, but that doesn’t change the fact that she can be a bit… clutzy with the mail...

******

“What’s wrong, mom?” Dinky Hooves stopped doodling in her coloring book and gave a long, hard look to her mother’s uneven, unblinking eyes.

“Nothing,” Derpy said, shaking her head, “I just feel that, somewhere, my professionalism has been put in doubt!”

“Ah! Tell me about it!” Trixie levitated a couple of stuffed rabbits, trying to decide which to choose to stuff in her hat, “I have that feeling nearly every day!”

******

“And how long have you been dating, then?” Firefly cocked an eyebrow, curious.

“Five weeks or so. Which is exactly the amount of time of o—” the cyan pegasus was interrupted by her mother.

“Aren’t you rushing things a little too much? I mean, just five weeks—” Dash’s mother was interrupted, herself, by a pink hoof pointing upwards.

“Aaaand years of good friendship. Years and years of good friendship, even if the canon timeline is a bit fuzzy on that. That kinda balances it out, Mrs. Firefly, doesn’t it?” Pinkie jumped in with her usual goofy grin.

“Uhm…” Firefly put a hoof under her chin and cocked an eyebrow, immersed in thought, “Well, your father and I married after, what? One year of dating?” she chuckled, “Who am I to judge, after all?”

“Well, you were already expecting Dashie, here, and I had to do the honorable thing. No, no…” he waved his hoof, “Don’t think of me as an hero.” He swelled his chest with pride, his mane billowing in a fortuitous gust of wind.

“Nopony will, don’t worry…” Mother and daughter giggled as the jab went unnoticed while Pinkie Pie watched in amazement.

“Dashie, you never told me that! It’s exactly like u—” Pinkie’s mouth was stopped by a light blue hoof being roughly shoved into it.

“Yeah, I know. I’m just waiting for the right moment for telling them,” Dash whispered through her teeth.

“Which would be?”

“Not now.”

“You know what? I’m happy for you two!” Blitz said, pulling his daughter and the pink earth pony in a tight hug. Very tight. Dash could see even Pinkie Pie gasping for breath, trapped in those strong forelegs of his. “So, were you the one who proposed to her, Dash?”

“I wanted to, but she beat me to the punch.” She extracted herself from her father’s embrace, “She even had the ring, well, kind of,” Rainbow held up the makeshift ring, still around her hoof, “I mean, it’s the thought that counts, right?”

Firefly sniffed. “Does that smell of pineapples?”

"Yes, indeed-y, Mrs. Firefly! You got a good nose,” Pinkie nodded, “I had to make do, but I hope you two won’t think bad of me! I didn’t have the time to ask my Mommy and Daddy about Granny’s ring that I’m totally going to give to Dashie when I can get down to the old rock farm and ask them for it. But it’s a total secret, so don’t tell Dashie,” Pinkie spouted, her voice dropping down to a whisper at the last part.

“I’m right here, you know!” Dash complained while Firefly covered her mouth with a hoof to hide a delighted snicker, “I heard that!”

“I said it’s a secret!” she stood on her hooves, gaining a few inches over Dash and hissed from above, nearly forcing the pegasus on the ground.

“Alright, alright…” Dash rolled her eyes, not wanting to continue. She’d just have to act very surprised when that happens.

“No, don’t worry,” Firefly chuckled and gave the makeshift ring a better look, “It’s kinda...fun.”

“That’s right, Mrs. Firefly. Fun is my sixth or seventh name. I kinda lost count on those."

“How did you two met? Oh, I can’t wait to hear the details! Why don’t we go inside?” Blitz wrapped his arms around both girls’ shoulders and started making his way into the rest of the house, sounding downright giddy. The polar opposite of his daughter, the reasons for which, Pinkie really couldn’t grasp. Maybe she was just tired. Tired and surprised, even though surprises were always nice!

“It’s kind of a long story,” Dash rolled her eyes, “How can you even hope to summarize years and years of adventures, silliness, emotions and— “ Rainbow Dash was quickly cut off by a sharp intake of breath from her bride-to-be.

“Well, we saved Equestria together, became the best of best friends, saved Equestra again, I became a babysitter, she entered the Wonderbolt Academy, we helped save the Crystal Empire from an evil king made of smoke, I made multiple copies of me, she learned that books are cool and then I noticed that my friend was more than a friend to me and I waited for the right moment to tell her, because she’s so cute and she was totally OK with me liking her!” Pinkie zipped around the stallion to her fillyfriend’s side to snuggle on her coat like it was the world’s best blanket. Only warmer and more feathery.

Dash blinked. Turns out Pinkie Pie had really good synopsis skills. “Yeah, one day she had this silly excuse of needing yours truly for helping in her workout. You!” Rainbow pointed a hoof to her father and shot him a piercing glare, “Don’t you even try to make that joke about some other kinds of workouts!”

“Well, I never...I’d never dare to…” The joke was already in Blitz’s head, screaming from its cage to be told for everypony to hear. It decided to keep quiet the moment Blitz’s daughter and wife threw him that look together. The look that not only said he was totally going to joke about it, but also that they knew about it and grave repercussions would be upon him if he dared to utter the fateful words! “I won’t…” he shrugged.

“And I finally told her that I liked her, liked her! Which is different from just liking a pony! I won’t lie to you: I had to work up the courage for so long!”

“Tell me about it! I had a crush on Dashie’s mother since the first time I saw her in Flight School!”

“But I still had the common sense of not falling to his hooves instantly. But if we had to choose between love and common sense…” she climbed atop Blitz and planted a small kiss on his cheek. “Everything would be just so sad.” He giggled and kissed her back.

Pinkie Pie d’awwed. Rainbow Dash ewwwwed,“Moooom...Don’t get sappy in front of my mare.”

“Oh, grow up!” Firefly quipped, “She doesn’t seem to mind.”

In fact, Pinkie Pie was standing there with an ear-to-ear grin, tightening her grip around Rainbow Dash with her hug-hungry forelegs, “That was so adorable, Mrs. Firefly.”

“Just call me Firefly, dear.”

“You know what this calls for?”

“A part—” Blitz raised his hoof but his voice was drowned out and swept under a rug of pure, pink exuberance.

“A PARTY!” Pinkie Pie shouted. She jumped in the air, and at the same time, dozens of multi colored streamers blew down from the ceiling. Dash didn’t dare to question it. “Just give me sixty minutes and I’m gonna throw the best ‘Meet my adorable in-laws of my adorable fillyfriend’ party that you ever saw!”

“Are you sure of that? Last one I went to was pretty awesome. They had a dragon!”

“We have one, too!” Pinkie shared a laugh with Dash’s father and went her merry way, bouncing and chatting with Firefly as she went to the other room to get a chest of party supplies the pink pony snuck in the night before. Dash didn’t complain carrying it all the way to her house, especially after the promise of totally awesome sex. The day was going smoothly, but there was one little detail. Actually a big detail with spiky, multicolored mane.

Who wasn’t Dash, for once.

“You!” she poked at her father’s ribs and pointed a hoof at him, glaring with eyes that would’ve sent an army flying up the hills for the sheer terror, “Behave.” Her command would have made even the Princesses, themselves, cow in fear. To put it bluntly, Dash could be very scary when she wants to be.

A profound sadness became etched in Blitz’s eyes and his heart as well. “You are still angry.” Not a question, but a bitter statement.

“Yeah. Just...behave. No more stupid jokes than necessary and treat Pinkie well. Can you do this for me? At least this much?”

He sighed. “I’ll do it. For you. And for Pinkie Pie. She seems nice. I like her. Does she know about your—”

“Yes,” Rainbow Dash stated simply. With that, she trotted away to Pinkie’s side.

“I’m glad you found a special somepony,” he sighed.

“Thanks.” A faint smile appeared on her lips and the memory of better days flashed before her eyes. Memories where she could smile at him, a true, sincere smile, and not be afraid.

She hated herself for being so cold with her dad, but after that happened…

That awful, horrible, terribly embarrassing day happened… Something in her heart couldn’t accept the fact that the loving father that taught her to fly and always believed in her would be the same pony who humiliated her so. Still, she would give him another chance. She wanted to see if he had changed. She desperately needed to know he had changed.

“Need any help, Pinkie?”

“I hope you know we are telling them,” Even wearing her fake glasses with mustache, Pinkie Pie sounded absolutely calm and authoritarian.

“What?!”

“You know what I’m talking about. We are having the party, and I’m telling the Cakes and our friends to not tell them about the foals until I have prepared them for it. It’s a ‘preparing-for-good-news-party.’ I already had some, so don’t worry.”

“Are you sure? I mean, isn’t that too early? I mean they just came and—”

“More reason for telling them. You know how I feel about secrets,” she pouted. “Especially this one! In fact...I would have told them right before I did about the engagement!”

“Well, it is going to be a little awkward and maybe my dad, that doofus, is going to let slip that ‘little-but-not-really secret of mine in front of the girls and—” a pink hoof brushed her lips and a pair of sky blue eyes stared back at her magenta orbs.

“Dashie…” she removed the party accessory and still spoke in that unusually calm tone. “They are not just your foals. They are our foals and I want to tell them because there are some things that just can’t be hidden forever, especially when those ponies are your parents. Blitz and Firefly are their family as well and I want them to know their grandparents when they are born.”

“Well, we’d never come to that! I mean...um…I’m not excluding my dad from my life!"

"Then smile or turn that frown upside down!” she quickly kissed Dash on the cheek, “We’re going to have a party!”

******

“Excuse me, young lady, Could you point us the way to Sugarcube Corner?” Clyde Pie was drawing the carriage, carrying his wife and two daughters. Limestone and Marble were loudly yawning, their forelegs idly hanging from outside the carriage.

“Sure, Mister!” Derpy Hooves pointed toward the village in the distance. “It just over there, the big, marzipan shaped building. You can’t miss it!” she said, cheerily.

“Why, thank you. Have a good day.” He tipped his hat and started moving again while the pegasus floated to the opposite way, reaching the unicorn wearing a starry cape.

“Ugh! Finally!” Limestone dropped her back on the wooden surface. “You know, I was actually getting kinda tired of asking ‘are we there yet’?”

“It wasn’t funny the first, second or three hundredth time, either,” Marble muttered.

“You didn’t even want to play I Spy, Inkie!”

“We did, but everything you spied were just blades of grass or some clouds.”

“Well, they were the only things on the way to Ponyville!”

“Still better than at the farm. You just spied rocks over and over and over again!”

Sue Pie was simply staring at the landscape with a pristine smile on her face, her daughters’ squabble not passing through the ear plugs firmly squashed in her ears.

“What’s that, Trixie?” Derpy asked her fillyfriend, who suddenly stopped on her tracks.

“Trixie has the nagging feeling that she has already seen those ponies before...” she turned towards the carriage and squinted, “Something about a very embarrassing time of her life, but she just can’t wrap her mind around it.”

“Oh, I’m sure it will. You could’ve just asked them.”

Trixie shrugged. “True. Perhaps we will meet them again. Did he say Sugarcube Corner, right?”

“Yup.”

“I think I know that pony…” Clyde rubbed the side of his head with a hoof.

“Who? The pegasus with weird eyes?”

“Marble!” Sue poked at her daughter, having recently taken out her ear plugs, “It’s not polite to point it out.”

“Ouch! Now you decide to take off the earplugs?”

“No, the one with her. The one with the stupid hat. I think I saw her somewhere, some time ago.”

“Wasn’t she…” Limestone blinked. “Wasn’t she the one that used to talk with rocks? She was a real weirdo.”

“You talk with rocks, too,” Marble replied.

“Yes, but they answer me! I’m not a weirdo if they can answer me!”

“What if only she can hear them, too?” Marble snickered, drawing an angry glare from her sister, “It’s the same excuse!”

“Well, it’s a small village. Perhaps we’ll meet them again,” Clyde shrugged and continued pulling the carriage as Sue offered him a pair of earplugs as well, leaving his daughters to their bickering, behind him.

******

The piquant, pleasant smell of apple orchards filled Pinkie’s nostrils and calmed her nerves. Not that she was nervous to begin with but it was always nice to take a breath of fresh air, immersed in the nature and with friends that she loved, and especially with the one she loved above everypony else.

She hopped near Applejack as her friend was setting up a bowl of punch to a nearby table. “Thank you so, sooo much for letting us have the party at Sweet Apple Acres, AJ.”

“Heh, no problem, sugarcube. Anything for you and Rainbow. “

Pinkie giggled. “I would’ve liked to have this party at Sugarcube Corner, as well, but well, the Cakes need to work in the morning.” That must have been the reason why she couldn’t find them yet at the bakery. Maybe they were still sleeping or taking care or the twins or buying ingredients.

She would have liked to invite them to the preparation party so they could meet Rainbow’s folks and maybe even tell them to keep the surprise about the foals! She shrugged, reasoning there was nothing to worry about it.

“Even though Ah still haven’t recovered from yesterday's party,” The farmpony’s belly grumbled a little, “Jus’... what the hay was in those eggrolls?”

“Maybe I used too much chili last time… but that’s not important now! I can count on you, right, AJ?” Pinkie winked at her.

Applejack didn’t quite catch on until she saw Rainbow’s dad laughing and chatting with Fluttershy and Rarity out of the corner of her eye, “Oh, yeah...The ‘preparation party’ thing. Of course ah knew.”

Rainbow fluttered beside, loudly yawning. “Can’t believe you had everything ready so fast.”

“It’s me. Remember?” Pinkie giggled.

“Yup.” She landed near the pink pony and gave her a nice, big hug. Applejack blushed lightly at that sight.

“Rainbow!” a little, scaly thing shouted her name and latched onto her chest.

“Oh! Hi, Spike.” She patted his spiky head. “Guess you made it.”

“Of course I had to make it! Twilight told me everything about you and Pinkie and your…” he watched left and right and lowered his voice. “...Condition and keeping it secret for now.”

“Did she use a graph for that?” Rainbow let out a quiet snicker.

“No. A Venn Diagram.”

“A real shame you didn’t come last night, Spikey.” Pinkie Pie snatched the young dragon and squeezed him to her chest in a tight hug, throttling him around like a doll. He let out a small squeal of pain.

“Well…” he flapped his arms about, searching for an escape. “I had that sleepover planned and the Crusaders are my friends, too. Even if it was kinda awkward.”

“Why’s that?” Rainbow asked.

“Take some notes, it’s gonna be long.” He took a deep breath while Pinkie whipped out a notepad. “Derpy’s daughter has a crush on this Rumble kid, Rumble has a crush on Scootaloo, Scootaloo has a crush on Applebloom and Applebloom has a crush on me!”

Applejack, Rainbow and Pinkie blinked, speechless. “Now that’s a doozy…” Applejack took out her hat and used it to gave herself some air, while Pinkie scribbled down a large diagram.

“Sorry if I can’t expand on that, yet.”

“Oh, there’s time, Spikey.” Pinkie put a hoof under her chin. “Maybe for a spin-off.”

“Spin-off?” Rainbow shook her head. “Pinkie, life doesn’t have spin-offs!”

“Tell that to the author that can’t ever decide what to wr—”

“Ya know, girls…” the farmpony put a hoof on Rainbow’s shoulder, “Rainbow, there is a thing I gotta ask you. What’s the problem with your father?”

Rainbow’s wings deflated. “So you did tell her, too,” she frowned, “I guess you kinda had to...” Rainbow felt hurt. She knew that most of her secrets and feelings were still safe, even if laid bare in front of her closest friends. The key word was ‘most’...

“I got really worried, not because you were trying to turn yourself in a pony door stopper, but when you told Blitz to behave,” Pinkie tilted her head, “Usually it’s the daddy that tells a filly that, not the other way around! Unless…”

“I don’t understand, Rainbow,” Twilight walked in and touched Rainbow’s shoulder as well, “Your parents are exquisite ponies, especially your father...What just happened between you two?”

“Don’t get me wrong, Dashie!” Pinkie looked at her with guilty eyes, “I didn’t want to meddle in your family’s affairs…” she fidgeted on her hooves, “Maybe I’m just worrying too much. Maybe you just had a fight about the last cupcake, or a flugelhorn concert, or even because he didn’t bought you a doll and—”

“You are right. You did the right thing. Something bad happened between us,” Rainbow hung her head and let out a long, exasperated sigh, “You know that he likes to joke…”

Fluttershy, Rarity and Blitz’s laugh was heard immediately after Rainbow said that. The other girls nodded.

“The problem is he doesn’t know when to stop! Sooner or later he will make one joke, that joke, the one that will embarrass you forever in front of your peers, so humiliating for everypony involved, so… simply… awful that you’ll not want to believe that the guy who did that held you in his forelegs when you were little, that told you you were beautiful and you were capable of anything was also the one that made you feel like that!” her voice cracked until it nearly snapped like a twig, small tears forming at the corners of her eyes that were quickly wiped by a handkerchief swiftly produced by Pinkie.

“It happened already, right Rainbow?” Twilight stated the truth, using not even one tenth of her brilliant intellect to arrive to this conclusion.

“Yes, it did.” Firefly landed near the group, unheard but for a faint flutter of wings.

“You could’ve yelled at him when that happened,” Rainbow sniffled, averting her gaze from her mother, afraid to show her tears like they were horrific scars.

“I did. Oh, if I did! He understood that what he did was wrong and even if he doesn’t show it, the thought still eats him up at night.”

“That’s it?” Rainbow sniffed.

“He’s my husband, your father, and I love him. And he loves you. I hope you’ll give him another chance. He won’t disappoint you!” Firefly pleaded and offered her hooves to her daughter. Rainbow grasped them with her own. A collective d’awwww was about to hit the air, coming from the mouth of three d’awwww-worthy mares.

“Mom...I will—”

“Pinkamena Diane Pie!”A bearded, hat wearing earth pony stallion pierced the very atmosphere with his scream, a good part of the apple orchard was sent wobbling at the sheer force of that scream, making huge drops of cold sweat cross poor Applejack’s brow, birds were sent flying and crying for help, and a meteor was summoned by his sheer rage, ready to collide with a far away planet in the Horse Head Nebula and reducing it into smithereens!

"Daddy!” Pinkie yelled, jumping in Rainbow’s forelegs.

“Daddy?” Dash cocked an eyebrow, before turning in an expression of pure astonishment.

“Daddy?” Firefly joined in, confused.

“How could you get yourself knocked up by some Cloudsdale floozy?!” The gray stallion seemed flustered to find the final word or his inquiry.

“Floozy?!” Rainbow was appalled and incensed with annoyance… until she registered the important part of what Clyde Pie was saying. “Crud…” she muttered and loudly gulped.

Pinkie was shifting her eyes left and right, hoping to find an abandoned balloon to take off and fly away. “Err… Surprise…?”

“Knocked up?!” Blitz spit out his drink. “You mean that you really used your—————————”

Time slowed to a halt. History was repeating itself and fear and rage still made their ugly way in Rainbow’s mind, while she felt vulnerable and naked and his words didn’t even fully hit the air to do it.

Guess this time he didn’t need a joke to ruin her life. Again.

Author's Note

Special Guest Proofreader and editor: TheMorningEspeon!
And yes. The spin off is in the making but it will totally be not clop. I wonder if I should add this to this story as a special bonus chapter or making it its own story.
Before anyone asks, yes, Blitz was going to say the D word. To quote Rainbow: Crud.

Chapter 8

Author's Note

What happens when a cheap joke in an earlier chapter becomes foreshadowing? The next and final chapter is coming soon...ish!

Chapter 8

They say that when somepony’s life is at its lowest point, when the sorest of humiliations is about the strike and there’s nothing the pony in question can do to avoid it, nopony to help him, time stops or at least the brain perceives it as stopping. Maybe because it was a natural reaction to find a solution in those dilated instants or just find as much as solace as possible one could’ve found before tragedy struck him down.

When Rainbow Dash opened her eyes she realized time did stop for everypony else! Sweet Apple Acres was immersed in a grainy, grayish filter as her friends, her parents and even Pinkie’s dad were motionless statues, frozen in the actions they were performing at the time the unknown event happened, with only the pegasus still moving and breathing, unaffected by that mysterious magic.

Twilight and Applejack brought a hoof to their mouth in shock. Twilight’s expression was absolutely shocked, bloodshot eyes and all. The moment he opened that mouth, her intelligence allowed her to put two plus two together and Dash’s lie...Pinkie and Dash’s lie would fall apart. Her world would fall apart. Funny how the same problems always turned up to bite her in the tail.

If she were a stronger pony, she would tell the truth to the friend that not only allowed her to have a foal as well, but immediately agreed to help her raise them...such a friend didn’t deserve such a thing. More than anypony else she didn't’ deserve to know it that way.

Not now. Not like this.

Pinkie Pie still clung desperately at her filly friend, her eyes closed in a saddened grimace. Dash gave her a caress on the cheek as delicately as possible, afraid to hurt her in any way, and slipped out of her still locked forelegs.

Fluttershy toppled a tower of cupcakes (which Pinkie still had to explain her when the hay she baked them) and stood immobile, scattered in the air like stars in a constellation. Rarity was serving herself a glass of punch, still telekinetically lifted and about to be brought to her lips.

Firefly struck her forehead with a hoof, gesture that could’ve been used as a front page for the whole day they arrived in Ponyville, obviously. Her poor mom...she hated herself for having let her know this way. A mare so gentle, patient and understanding enough to not be driven mad by Pinkie Pie antics didn’t deserve to know such a thing in that rude way.

Then, there was him. Now there was somepony Firefly didn’t deserve...

The drink he spilled didn't’ even hit the ground before he opened his stupid cake hole and ruined her life. To add insult to injury the punch was only inches to land on Rarity’s mane. He was one word, one word, to spill her secret in front of her friends and Pinkie’s dad before the unknown intervention!

Where did Pinkie’s dad came from by the way?

Such awesome stupidity had to be admired. She wondered if she could still punch him in that stupid face before time reprised its course. In fact, she raised her trembling hoof towards his face, took a deep breath, struggling to get a punch right on his stupid nose and…

She couldn’t do it.

At all.

He was her dad. He taught her to fly, he always told her that she mattered, that she was awesome and loved her dearly even if she...wasn’t fully a she. He may have made a joke once, true, and broke her heart in tiny pieces but he always loved her, no matter what. He wasn’t perfect and certainly couldn’t hold his tongue...but she loved him!

Then she turned her mind towards the most immediate problem and the immobile atmosphere surrounding the place. “What the hay happened?!

“I’m quite sure kids these days put it as ‘I saved your sorry hide’, my dear Rainbow Dash,” a suave, familiar tone of voice came from one of the cupcakes. Said cupcake had a goatee, a pair of evil, intelligent eyes and a small fang sticking out of the cupcake winked and Dash jumped back in the air.

“Aaargh! What the hay?”

“I get the worst reactions for my presence.” The cupcake gurgled and spit out a long, sinuous figure with mismatched paws and horns, a long, red dragon tail and a mischievous smirk from which stuck out a perky fang. A smirk that once made Equestria tremble and now its owner lived in one of her best friend’s cottage. Most of the time. “How’s your day going, Rainbow Dash?”

“Discord!” she launched herself in the air and lunged after the Spirit of Chaos, passing through him like he was made of air. In fact, with a snap of his fingers and a sigh he turned himself into a goatee sporting cloud.

“Is that a joke?” Rainbow rolled her eyes, upset for the umpteenth failed attempt to vent her frustrations on a face she didn’t particularly like.

“No, that wasn’t a joke. This is a joke: why did the pegasus crossed the street? Because—”

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m helping a dear friend of my friend, wasn’t that obvious?” Discord chuckled. “Dear Fluttershy told me everything about you and Pinkie Pie and looks like I came just in the nick of time. By the way, congratulations!” he offered his paw to Rainbow Dash, but she quickly scoffed at the Spirit of Chaos.

“Helping me? Why?”

“Because if the last couple of months skimmed right past your pretty multicolored head I’m a force of good now.” He drew a small halo around his head with a finger and lit it with a snap of his fingers. “A friend of my friend is my friend and I took pity for you. That’s why.”

“Sooo...what? Have you been spying on me or something?"

“I just happened to pass by in your time of need. Granted, you screamed so loud this morning that you managed to wake me up and now I’ve got a headache!” he rubbed the sides of his head, steam coming out of his ears. “An impressive feat for sure. Who wouldn’t be at least a little curious? I heard from Fluttershy about yours and Pinkie’s little bundles of joy and I happened to...sneak into the party for your parents. To be honest, I hoped to just get a cupcake.”

Rainbow looked at the still unmoving cupcakes and shuddered, fearing that she would’ve never look at pastries in the same way. Not even if Pinkie Pie made them.

“Did...Did you hear everything? I mean about that thing Dad was about to yell?” Her secret really started to lose huge chunks of its secretness that day. What, was Mayor Mare going to be the next one? Or Miss Cherilee? Braeburn all the way to Appleloosa? Friggin’ papers being launched from the sky?

“I already knew and I don’t care. In fact, I figured out the first time we met. And look how much I cared about it!” He materialized a tray with a half circle lid and opened it, revealing...absolutely nothing. That nearly forced a chuckle out of her. Nearly. “I’m a lot older than you will ever be and I met more ponies like you than the stars in the sky. Who knows? Maybe I’m responsible for some of them!”

Rainbow shuddered, imagining the Spirit of Chaos wearing a dark armor and proclaiming with a wheezing, metallic voice, to be her father while the pegasus was hanging from a metal edge in the heart of a space station. While missing a hoof. “Since when can you stop time?”

Discord sighed. “Of all the questions you could’ve asked, you choose that? You have the chance of receiving the help of a walking, talking, deus ex machina and you ask me such a trivial question? I’m sorta tempted to be a cupcake again.”

“Point taken. Just one question...How come you never used this power before? If you have it, of course.”

“I find your lack of trust...disturbing. The things is...I could have used it for myself. Maybe go back to the time the Princesses turned me into stone. Maybe even stop you girls from turning me into a garden ornament a second time, but if I did? I would’ve never known the magic of Friendship! And besides it would make sense.”

“Yeah, yeah and there’s no fun in making sense.” Which paradoxically made sense for Discord. Rainbow didn’t comment on the issue, though. “But how are you planning to help me, exactly? Not that I’m interested or something...” She totally was, but Rainbow was desperate enough to at least listen to his offer. Dash kept her cool, placing a foreleg over the other in a nonchalant way while refusing to look in Discord’s eyes.

“I’ll give you more time to fix this little...inconvenience.” Discord chuckled. “Sure, let’s call it like that.”

“More time? What, are you going to turn back the clock?”

Discord snapped his fingers and in a puff of smoke a pendulum clock appeared, that started ticking loudly. “More likely than you think. I’ll send you back in time, let’s say...to this morning maybe. Before your parents’ arriving and well before Pinkie’s family is here.”

“Family?” Rainbow cocked an eyebrow, curious.

“Oh, yes! The whole family. Mostly. In fact, I have it on film.” From out of nowhere Discord whipped out a projector screen and a projector of his own, appearing from yet another puff of smoke. On the screen it showed Sugarcube Corner and its owners that very same morning in a grainy, black and white filter.

“They invented colors, you know.”

“It’s called vintage. It’s something you really can’t appreciate.”

Rainbow rolled her eyes.

Rainbow Dash saw Pinkie’s father in the bakery, spazzing out and crushing his hat in his hooves. He moved his lips but no sound came from them. Instead, only a cheesy piano music was heard. Discord wore a bowler hat, a ragged black suit and a black, toothbrush mustache.

***

“She’s what?!”

The words appeared in an elegant white font on a black background. The action returned to Mrs. Cake, trying to reach him and calm him down.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Pie! We thought you already knew!”

A mare passed him a new hat, her hooves visibly shaking.

The action moved to a couple of young mares, looking completely flabbergasted and staring blankly at the void. Rainbow remembered to having already seen them in Pinkie’s family photos and recognized them as Pinkie’s sisters. Well, two of them.

“Holy crap, I’m going to be an auntie.”

“Holy crap, both of us are going to be aunties!”

“All three of us, Inkie!”

“Right...Always forget Maude for some reason.”

“But...But who is the father?”

Clyde climbed upon the counter and started shaking Mr. Cake from his apron.

“Who is the rapscallion that laid his filthy hooves on my little girl?! Who, in his awesome stupidity, did that?!”

“Well...she’s called Rainbow Dash…”

Mr. Cake sheepishly added, scratching the back of his head and giving a nervous grin.

“And she isn’t that bad for a rapscallion…”

Mrs. Cake added with a smile, one intended to ease the tension but ended up being very inappropriate.

You said ‘she’, isn’t it?”

“Well, it’s a long story, you see…”

Clyde Pie froze in place, his new hat falling on the ground crumpled like an old accordion just like the other. His wife passed him a new one from her saddlebag but it slipped from her hooves when she passed out on the floor. The music went for a dramatic turn in a rapid spin of notes.

“Mom!”

The two girls yelled while Mr. Cake came to her side with a glass of water. Clyde was still frozen like a statue. She took a sip and regained her senses before her pupils widened again with a small pop.

“No, still not enough!”

Pinkie’s mom said and passed out again.

***

The projector stopped and Rainbow Dash kinda felt a little guilty. While nopony could have predicted Pinkie’s family arrival, she could’ve at least thought about writing a letter or something. Even if he popped out of nowhere and smashed the mood into tiny pieces, that was still the reaction of a concerned father. Being a future parent herself, there was a tiny part of her that could understand him...and a gut feel that, one day, one hypothetical and terrible day, she may react the same way!

“Well…” Discord said, munching on popcorn. “The editing could use some work but the actors’ performances were strong enough to carry the whole thing. Especially the father’s!”

“Yeah...He’s certainly not the problem…” Dash sighed and tried not to focus on a certain rainbow maned stallion and his big mouth.

“And speaking of fathers, what exactly did happen with your folks, by the way?” Discord poofed out the way and materialized near Rainbow Blitz. He grabbed a nearby glass and collected the floating punch with it. He then drunk the glass.

“Well...It’s a long story, you see. Surely I’m not telling you. It’s not that someone like you would understan—”

“Wait a second, I should have it somewhere…” Discord snapped his fingers and materialized a chest full of film reels. One of them was labeled “Humiliation and love in Cloudsdale!!!” with three exclamation marks. “I just knew this one would turn out to be useful.”

“You have movies of everything that happened?!”

“I had to do something while I was trapped in stone, don’t you think?”

Rainbow rolled her eyes and felt naked and vulnerable. She hoped he didn’t have reels of her first time with Pinkie Pie, of all the times she wet herself when she was a foal, the time she tried to do a sexy Daring Do cosplay but the paint melted under the rain…

The projector started again. “Hey! I didn’t give you my permission to see it!”

"Well, try to stop me then!” Discord chuckled before Rainbow went to the projector, trying to find a button or something to turn it off. Turns out it didn’t have one. It would have made sense, after all

***

An adorable, Rainbow maned filly was in her house, fidgeting nervously on her hooves. Her father took a fleeting glance at her from behind his newspaper. Her mother fllew all the way to greet her with a tight hug at the tune of a soothing, simple piano piece.

“Aaaaw!” said Discord, which weirdly echoed like a whole studio audience did that.

Great. Embarrassed in front of the spirit of Chaos. Beyond the frontier of time.

“Welcome back, Dashie! How was your day?”

Firefly said while pinching the filly’s cheeks. Rainbow Dash just put on a pout in a misguided attempt to look badass and not showing how much she liked when her mom did that.

“Good...Good…”

“Is there something bothering you?”

Blitz said, getting up from the chair and floating to Dash’s side.

“Did something happen at Flight’s School?

“No, Dad.”

A ferocious blush painted the filly’s cheeks, visible even under that grainy, old time filter.

“No, because if somepony made fun of you…” He snorted and punched his hooves together. “They are going to face my wrath!”

“Yes, I am sure the little foals are worthy opponents for you.”

Firefly rolled her eyes and smacked her husband lightly, while Dashie’s eyes were fixed on the floor.

“Well, you know how they bite. Not to mention the horrible colds they can infect you with!”

“Did something happen, dear?”

Firefly placed a pink hoof on Dash’s forehead to check her temperature.

“No, no, it’s not like that, Dad. But I still apprec...approach...I like it!”

Dash stepped up and gave a hug to her old man, snuggling her cheek on the coat on his broad chest.

“No problem. It’s my dad job to make your day a little more awesome.”

He ruffled her mane playfully and the adult Rainbow cringed at that sentence. If that were true she wouldn’t have needed to literally stop time to stop his foolishness.

“Mom...Dad…” The filly eyed the door, nervously. “The thing is...There is a colt…”

A colt?!” Firefly jumped for the joy, making a little twirl in the air. “There is a colt?

“Yeah...I met him in flight’s school, he seemed nice and he asked me to be his fillyfriend.”

“It was that easy? Either he is a master seductor or you have really low standards.”

“I asked him if he wanted to stay for lunch. It’s that okay with you guys?”

Dash waggled her tail and put on the best ‘pleading puppy’ eyes she could muster. Not that she needed it.

“Well, no problem.” Firefly said, patting gently Rainbow’s head. “You can let him come in if you like.

Rainbow turned towards the door with a huge smile after giving a huge sigh of relief..

“You heard her! Come in, Thunderlane!”

Discord spit his drink, or rather, his glass, which flew out of his mouth like mercury to recreate a normal glass like a movie being played in reverse. “Thunderlane?! You had a crush on Thunderlane?!”

“We were young...and he was really nice. He had a holographic Wonderbolt Card, which, when you are a kid in Cloudsdale, is the equivalent of a diamond encrusted engagement ring. And how the hay do you know Thunderlane?”

“I have a social life, you know! Do you think I’m staying all the time at Fluttershy’s cottage, mooching off her place, watching movies and eating her cookies?”

“Yes.”

“Only on weekends.”

A little black colt on the screen opened the door slowly, hesitating whether to enter or not before little Rainbow rolled her eyes and just dragged him inside by his mohawk. He waved nervously at the pair while trying to hide behind Rainbow Dash. Firefly giggled at his adorable awkwardness and it brought a smile to Rainbow’s face, too. That was a day that had a great start...for about a minute.

“Hello, Mrs. Firefly and Mr. Blitz.”

“Hello, dear! I hear you are Dashie’s special friend.”

Firefly approached the timid colt with a warm smile.

“Well, she kinda dragged me here. She is a bit scary. I mean, sometimes!”

Both young and adult Dash threw him a dangerous glare. How come colts this day confuse assertiveness for intimidation? Was the Fluttershy school of thought that popular? Strong, confident mares shouldn’t always be the norm?

“Well, take care. Little Dashie can be more of a colt than you! Hope you two didn’t try doing a pissing contest!”

“DAD!”

The piano keys crashed violently, producing a grave, brash sound that turned into a melody of pure sorrow. Dash wanted to close her eyes but couldn’t, still wondering if what happened there was real.

“Blitz!”

Firefly shouted. The notes cascaded in a shriller tone only to sink back to the slower, somber motive of before.

“Oh, I’m sorry I meant ‘wee-weeing’ cont—Crud…”

Dash gulped. She wanted to be there and change things. Be there and tell that filly to at least play that out as a joke and move on. To tell her to not suffer so much as she did. That life went on and she would find somepony else that loved her for herself. Things that she needed to hear and she had a lifetime to tell herself so.

As the music, took a shocking, melodramatic tone shift, little Rainbow Dash ran away in tears, leaving a little colt confused and creeped out. That filly never explained to him what happened. Never told him why she was so sensitive about that issue, why that phrasing that seemed so innocent hurt her that much. But Blitz knew. Oh, if he knew! The very thing he always said to his little girl to never worry about. Doesn’t mean she couldn’t feel fear. Or shame. One wrong word, one drop too much and the damage was done. The heart of a filly is a delicate thing.

Captured by Discord’s magic Rainbow could finally see her father’s face in that instant...and saw regret. A small tear rolled down his cheek that he quickly hid with a hoof when he met his wife’s scowl. She slapped him and he accepted it. He even nodded to say he wanted some more, that he deserved it.

Again, Rainbow didn’t feel anger but pity. Not much of it, but a glimmer was better than nothing.

Her father was just a pony, after all. Ponies made mistakes. Ponies could be incredibly dumb and have terrible flaws. Rainbow had her hotheadedness and Blitz his stupid mouth. If she believed even for just one second that her flaw never hurt herself or anypony else then she was a fool. Ponies wanted a second chance when that happened.

Ponies seldom had a second chance...Unless they had the Spirit of Chaos backing them up.

For her.

For Pinkie.

For their families.

The film ended and the screen turned back to silver white. The projector poofed out of existence and even Discord stood silent, drumming his fingers against the beach chair. Not even a snarky comment to follow.

“If I asked you to come back at this moment, could you do it?” Dash sighed.

“Would you accept it?”

“No. That’s too far back. I would change too much of what I am. Just to this morning. Before Mom and Dad came to my place. Just this morning and I can wrap things up.”

“Suit yourself.” Discord snapped his fingers and the clock reappeared. Its hands started running backwards at such a fast pace to be mesmerizing. Unscheduled thunderbolts roared in the distance and the world turned into a blur. No turning back. A swirl of pure, pink light rose from the ground and started to spiral around Rainbow Dash, faster and faster, enveloping the cyan pegasus like a cocoon. She glanced at Discord through one last, small opening.

“Just tell me! Are there any side effects?” Rainbow shouted to make herself heard inside the roaring.

“Don’t step on butterflies! It’s rude!”

“I guess I should…” Words flat out refused to come out of Rainbow’s mouth. “...thank you!” Dash immediately after had the urge to drink some mouthwash.

“Thank Fluttershy for being such a good friend to both of us!” He shouted via an out of nowhere megaphone. “ Lousy pair of earplugs, though. Nopony’s perfect.”

“WHAT?!”

“Nevermind…”

She closed her eyes and silence followed, broken only by her frantic breath. Her wings flapped around, but a weird cold, slithering through her feathers. A bitter, metallic taste invaded her mouth when the ground literally disappeared from under her hooves. She struggled to keep her eyes shut, knowing from her favorite stories that the unraveling of the timestream was something that ponies weren’t intended to see. Of course, she had the gnawing feel in the back of her brain that Discord was playing her as a fool, so keeping her eyes closed in front of that dangerous troll wasn’t the best choice.

“I wonder if I should’ve told her of the real side effects…”

She opened her mouth and tried to cuss at Discord, but dared not to move as the roaring of the magic light reprised for just a second but still enough to make her think twice about it. Her wings kept thrashing around against her will, her survival instinct going berserk at the sensation of drifting in nothing.

Fortunately, it was just a mere instant.

Her sense of direction returned, there was a world around her again and she found herself lying on the side of a soft, almost cloudy, surface. Fresh sheets were wrapping her body and her hooves were grasping the most delightful weight, sharing its warmth with the pony of her dreams.

When she opened her eyes, Pinkie Pie was at her side and a smile lit up her face. Just like that morning. It was that morning and Rainbow took a sigh of relief.

The pink pony was there, in Rainbow’s bed and at her side like a few hours ago and she never looked that beautiful, so calm and with a small smile on her lips. Rainbow pulled her close into a hug, struggling not to wake her up from that blissful sleep. The smell of candy and of her mane filled her nostrils and her heart soared. This time, Rainbow was the one holding her like the last safe spot of the universe.

“I’ll fix everything. I’ll fix everything with your dad…” Even though she would’ve loved to just hold her a little more, the first rays of Celestia’s Sun were going past her window. Soon both of their families would be there and time was dangerously close to being her enemy again.

“Pinkie Pie! Wake up!” she poked at her with her snout.

“Nuuh…” Pinkie slowly moved and smacked her lips together, struggling to open eyelids heavier than lead. “Am I still dreaming or am I really in your bedroom?” Dash rolled her eyes and had a deja vù.

“Nope. I’m the real deal and you’re at my place and I love you but we’ve got a problem!"

“Problem?!” Pinkie threw the sheets out of her and stood with all fours on the bed. “What problem? Do you feel your tummy aching? Is it the foal?!”

“I...uh...Hem…” Suddenly, Rainbow’s brain reminded itself that yes, she was back in time and yes, with no plan whatsoever. Story of her life, really. “No, it’s not the foal, of course! Aaaand it’s not that bad as it seems.”

“Then what is it?”

“I have...cravings! Yes, I’ve got cravings and they are terrible!” She fell on her back and started rubbing her tummy, her wings thrashing around and scattering little blobs of cloud matter around. “I want to eat things that I never considered before. I’m so hungry and I need it. Badly!”

“Which things, Dashie? Is it...a precious flower of the jungle? The feathers of a rare bird that lives in some province of Neighpon? Because if it’s something like that I’ll start an expedition in no time! Just let me gather a cadre of tough ponies with a troubled past and with nothing to lose!”

“Craving for...cupcakes!"

Pinkie blinked. “Dashie...you ate cupcakes. Lots of cupcakes. It’s not a thing you never considered before. I baked you lots of cupcakes.”

“So...Uhm...Could you bake me some cupcakes?”

“Well, I’ll have to go to Sugarcube Corner and I wanted to spend at least one day with you, not going to work. Even though it’s also the place where I normally live but once we’ll be married I don’t know if—”

“Pretty please? With Sugar on top?” Dash clasped her hooves in a praying pose and closed her eyes, keeping one slightly opened to see Pinkie’s reaction.

“Oh, that adorable face! I can’t resist it’s, like, hypnotic or something.” Pinkie smooshed Dash’s face between her hooves before jumping out of the bed. “Alright, I’ll go all the way to Sugarcube Corner and bake you some cupcakes. You are lucky I can’t resist your rugged good looks.”

“Rugged?” For some reasons the remark confused Rainbow, who tried to fix the loose locks of her mane in a respectable manner, before offering her rump to Pinkie Pie. The pink pony jumped on her back and the two of them took from Rainbow’s mansion the way down to Ponyville, the morning air ruffling Rainbow’s feathers and the wind messing up her mane. Apparently Fate favored the rugged look as well.

Pinkie Pie started to giggle quietly with her snout buried in Rainbow’s coat and mane, her forelegs locked around Rainbow’s neck in a showing of trust and intimacy. Again, Rainbow couldn’t enjoy the time the two had, the little gestures that made life a little sweeter, because of the fastidious, yet necessary, knowledge of the future.

Soon, Pinkie’s family would’ve been at the bakery and Rainbow reasoned that it was better for them that they knew the big news from pinkie than from the Cakes. They would’ve had the time to accept it, the time of giving her the blessing one little, pregnant pink pony would need from her parents. They would’ve had the time to digest the news and not freak out in front of their daughter’s best friends and the family of her fiancè, at least!

Pinkie deserved that. More than anypony else. That scared, pink mare clinging at her deserved a second chance to be face to face with her father and not be afraid.

Sure, Rainbow’s hide happened to be saved as well in the process but that was beside the point. The thing of doing something for the good of both meant doing something good for themselves, too.

“Whoa! I just close my eyes a minute and we’re here already!”

Rainbow blinked and found herself indeed at few meters from Sugarcube Corner. Dash realized that, apparently, she was a lot faster than usual when musing on the plan of action to adopt after time travelling. She saw as a privilege the fact she often said and thought sentences that the average pony wouldn’t even dream.

“What, are you getting faster, Dashie?” Pinkie giggled and gave a congratulatory snuggle of Rainbow’s head.

“Well, maybe...Probably. Yeah, I’m definitely faster, who are we kidding?

Pinkie planted a kiss on her cheek. “I just love when you boast!”

That was when Rainbow Dash saw a cart parked near the gingerbread shaped building. The kind of cart a farmer with his wife and daughters would bring for a family trip to a nearest little village where his other daughter lived. With horror she realized they were already here. The family freakout must’ve happened when Rainbow was there chatting with her parents at her place.

Rainbow bit her lip to calm her nerves and keep her frantic breath in place when she landed slowly, allowing Pinkie to hop away from her back and onto the ground. Rainbow took a deep breath and said to herself Let’s do it, She totally didn’t want to waste that precious, second chance.

“Oh, that really slipped out of my mind.” Pinkie stopped, her hoof hovering before the door.

“W-what is it?” Rainbow nearly gasped, fearing her carefully (not really) laid plan going in pieces like glass.

“I don’t need to bake them myself! The shop has just opened and maybe they already have some freshly baked cupcakes! You don’t mind if I don’t bake them myself, do you?”

“I’ll live.” When Pinkie turned, Dash wiped a huge drop of sweat from her forehead.

“Well, now that’s settled let’s go and have some break—Whaaat?!” Pinkie Pie opened the door and found the live version of her family portrait taking place in her workplace/home. Her surprise was soon matched by the whole Pie family minus one.

PleaseI’mstilltimePleaseI’mstilltimePleaseI’mstilltimePleaseI’mstilltimePleaseI’mstilltime...

“Pinkie!” the four ponies hurried at her like a stampeding herd and squeezed together the pink pony into a massive group hug, lifting her from the ground like a pink and snuggly trophy.

Dash took a sigh of relief. No shocked faces and destroyed hats. Still in time. Even the Cakes behind the counter were quite surprised to see the two of them.

“Oh my gosh, Mommy and Daddy and Inkie and Blinkie! All my family is here, this is the best surprise ever!” Pinkie pulled close her parents with both forelegs while her sisters were still struggling to hold her lower body, their hind legs wobbling like jelly.

“Told ya she would say that.” Clyde said with a smirk while Sue simply gave an annoyed grunt.

“What happened? What brings you to Ponyville?” The four put her down to the great relief of the two Pie sisters but not before Pinkie exchanged one more hug with her mom. “Not that I’m complaining!”

“Your father got bored and nostalgic and dragged the whole family with him. Oh, who am I kidding?” Sue giggled. “We all wanted to see you again.Just because.”

“We just couldn’t stay without our favourite sister” The young, grey mare hopped around Pinkie Pie like an awestruck puppy, copying Pinkie’s hopping style to the P.

“I thought I was your favorite sister!” The other intervened with an annoyed pout, sticking out her lower lip.

“Well...there is favorite…” She patted the head of her sister in a condescending manner. “... and favorite…” Inkie pointed towards Pinkie, who looked at her back to be sure she wasn’t pointing to somepony else. “...and Pinkie is more of the latter kind.”

“Yeah? And what’s the difference?” Blinkie stepped towards her sister and poked her snout with her own.

“Inkie, Blinkie! You know the rule!” Pinkie giggled and clapped her hooves to get her sister’s attention. “Nopony ever said that you can’t have more than one favorite thing, right? For example, cupcakes are my favourites, but Corn Cakes are my favorite too! And what about muffins? They would feel left out. Would you want to make muffins feel bad?”

The two bickering sisters stopped being so and shrugged. “Makes sense.” Blinkie said, confirming that unfathomable thing rattling in Pinkie’s family tree left its mark.

“Phew...You saved me, sis.”

“Yup. You really lucked out, sis.” Blinkie rolled her eyes.

All of this happened in front of the Cakes that started to feel a little overlooked. “Well...Looks like a little family reunion is taking place.” Mr. Cake said.

“And totally unexpected, too!” Pinkie hopped on place a few times. “I mean, nopony could’ve predicted it!”

Rainbow rolled her eyes, trying to hide her smirk. Mrs. Cake walked beside Pinkie and whispered in her ear. “Thank Celestia you are here. They were going to ask how you were doing and...you know?”

“Noooo…?” Pinkie tilted her head.

“You know what!” Mrs. Cake sternly pointed at her belly and Pinkie’s erratic mind joined the dots together with a bright pink marker.

Her pupils shrank with a loud pop and the pink pony nodded, uttering in a creepy, mechanical monotone: “Yes. I got that...But since we are all here, even though we just came for breakfast, there is a thing that I have to say to you! Something very important!” Pinkie’s enthusiasm snapped her out of that trance and Rainbow’s cue arrived right on time. She stepped outside from behind Pinkie Pie and greeted the Pie clan with a nod.

“Mom, Dad, Inkie, Blinkie...I have a very important announcement to make!” Pinkie’s foreleg reached Rainbow and pulled her close, her soft coat meeting hers. “This is Rainbow Dash, my best friend and she is my very, special somepony!”

“R-really?” Clyde stepped forward, narrowing his eyes and giving a long hard look to Rainbow Dash. She felt like she was standing in the corner at school while wearing a dunce hat. Or about to strike her silly, maybe. He had a stern, authoritarian look in his eyes and his posture that only somepony’s dad could have. Given his sudden appearance out of nowhere just a few minutes ago (or few minutes from now? Lousy time travel pronouns…) it was safe to say that Rainbow really felt nervous around him.

“Your special somepony?” He tilted his head in confusion. “Isn’t she...Well, a she?”

“It’s a big city thing, dad! Everypony does that!” Blinkie said with a smile and a playful poke to her father’s shoulder.

“Does Ponyville seem a big city to you? I mean, it’s reasonably bigger than the average village but it’s not a big city and...and…I don’t get it.” Clyde sulked, taking a few steps backwards and grumbling lightly with an unknowable expression on his brown brow. Rainbow Dash scratched the back of her head, disappointed. She surely hadn’t crossed the timestream to make such a lousy first impression!

“Oh my...She is...You are beautiful!” Inkie’s eyes glowed with amazement, staring at Rainbow like one would with a two stories high chocolate parfait. “I mean...look at that mane! Is it for real? Do you mind if I touch that?” Inkie’s hoof trembled when approaching Dash’s mane. The pegasus simply nodded with a smile.

She hasn’t ever been vain but she wasn’t used to getting compliments for her looks, either. Nor being accepted by anypony else of the Pie clan, for that matter. “Sure, go ahead, um…”

“Inkie.” Pinkie whispered in her ear.

“Inkie! Yeah, of course it’s real.” Pinkie’s sister giggled while caressing with the utmost care. “All natural Dash.”

“Actually, my name is Limestone. We figured that Pinkie here wasn’t the only one that could choose her nickname, right, sis?”

“Yeah, but she was a Pinkie before it went popular…” Blinkie’s eyes widened with terror. “Unless we are...hipsters?”

A collective shudder filled the room.

“Let’s not say things we can’t prove.” Sue, of all ponies, said. The evils that are hipsters were known even among rock farmers.

“Well, since we all here…You could say the other thing, Pinkie.”

“What other thing...Oh!” Pinkie’s mouth remained open when she glanced at Dashie holding up her hoof to show her makeshift ring. Dash cracked a warm smile at the sight of it, relieved herself of not having lost it in some freaky time travel thing. “Oh, Dashie…”

“It’s true, sir. Ma’am. Girls. Before you freak out or something, yes, we are engaged.” Rainbow pulled Pinkie in a hug with one foreleg, her heart hammering on her ribs. “In fact, we are super engaged. I know it’s sudden—”

“Damn well it is!” Clyde shouted, then reprimanded himself. “You know, perhaps this isn't the best place to discuss these matters.” Clyde turned to see Mr. Cake munching on some out of nowhere popcorn. He hid them behind his back with a sheepish grin.

“Oh, please don’t mind us…”

Clyde rolled his eyes.

“I know it’s sudden, but I love your daughter. I really do. Capital A love, too. When I am with her I feel...complete. “ Pinkie’s family gathered closer towards as her filly friend snuggled hardly against her chest. “When I am with her her the world looks so amazing. because it’s her smile that brightens it! I feel that everything I do matters, if I see her down on the heart, smiling at me. If something I do makes her happy, no matter how small, then I’m overjoyed. But I know it’s not just about me. Your daughter is a pony that deserves all the love in the world and if I’m the one she chose, I will give it to her until the end of time.”

Silence filled the room. Small tear crossed Rainbow’s cheek while Pinkie’s parents stood in stunned silence. Pinkie’s sisters loudly blowed their noses, sobbing like the deeply moved fillies they were. “That was...That was the cutest thing I ever heard.” Blinkie said, wiping the tears from her eyes.

“P-Pinkie?” Clyde finally snapped out of that worrying silence and approached his daughter, caressing her cheek with a hoof.

“Yes, Daddy?” she hopped towards him, a smile on her face.

“Does she...Does she make you happy? I mean...your special somepony?”

“Yes, Daddy. Every day of my life.” Dash stepped forward and nodded solemnly.

“Does she care about you?” Sue asked it, this time, landing a caress on her own on her daughter’s cheek.

“Yes, Mommy. I don’t want anything else when I’m with her.” Pinkie’s hoof slipped beside Dash, who held it strongly.

“Does she like your cooking?” Inkie asked, drawing confused and annoyed looks at her from basically everypony in the shop. “Sorry. Heat of the moment.”

“Well, yeah. Who doesn’t?” Rainbow chuckled, drawing a smile from the embarrassed Inkie.

“Do you love her?” Both Sue and Clyde asked her, in perfect unison.

“I do. Everything that Dashie said...is the same for me!” she clinged at Rainbow tightly, her forelegs shaking around her neck. “That and more. I love this pony with all my heart and soul and part of my liver! My best friend, the pony whose smile I value more than anything. And also she is…” Pinkie Pie stopped, choking on the words. “She is…” The simplest of truths dawn. Dash felt that all the responsibilities of the news would be hers to shoulder. She grasped her hoof with her own and the two felt as one, like it always should be.

“She is what, sis?” Inkie nudged her very gently, her eyes having only love in them.

“It’s okay, Pinkie...I will tell them.”

Pinkie nodded solemnly.

“Sir, Ma’am, Girls…” Dash gulped and closed her eyes. Time stopped again and reprised its course after a long, preparatory breath. A moment was all she needed. Directly from hers or Pinkie’s lips. “We’re pregnant..”

“Holy crap!” A familiar, dreadful, completely unexpected and totally out of place voice shouted, belonging to a familiar rainbow maned stallion who had just entered the shop, his jaw hanging from the sides of his mouth and threatening to drop on the floor. “Did you really use your dick this time!”

With that, Rainbow started to scream internally.

“Uhm...Hello, Dashie?” Firefly at his side and clearly embarrassed, gave a polite wave to everypony in the room before shooting a glare to her husband. She then raised a hoof, aimed right to his face and…

“Hi, mom.” Dash answered with eerie calm.

“Mom?” Pinkie said. “Dashie’s mom?! But how...what?!”

“Mom?” Blinkie said, confused.

“Mom?” Inkie said, even more confused.

“Did he really said what I think he said or I’m finally gone crazy?” Clyde said clutching his chest and his voice squeaking lightly.

“What brings you here to Ponyville?” Rainbow’s eyes were cold and unblinking, focused on a stallion that should’ve really minded his words.

“Well, huh...We didn’t find you at home and your mom wanted a cupcake and—”

“You were the one that wanted a cupcake!” Firefly yelled it like she was try to yell murder threats.

“To answer your question...Dad…” Rainbow spat out the last word but still managed to stay calm, not wanting to screw up even a word of this. “Yes! With my magic dick!”

“W-what?!”

“The magic dick that my dear friend Twilight, the most powerful unicorn I know, grew on me! And that Pinkie used, too!” Rainbow blinked unseen from everypony else but her father and for all his faults, at least he caught up quickly.

“W-what…? Ohhhhh…” Blitz’s pupils shrank with realization. “Yes. Exactly what I meant…” He winked back with a smile, only for it to be shot down by Rainbow’s pout. “At least I guessed!”

“What, when you said ‘we’re pregnant’...” Sue trembled from head to hooves. “It wasn’t just an annoying things couple say when they expect a foal. You are both…You are both…!”

“Yes, we are.” Rainbow turned towards Pinkie’s mother. “Sorry if you had to know it this way. I had figured out a gentler way...but somepony really doesn’t know how to handle things tactfully! I mean, come on! Even in front of complete strangers? No offense.”

“None taken.” Blinkie said.

“I mean...Really pregnant? Both of them? With magic?” Pinkie’s mother expression was something halfway from being on the verge of tears and a crazed grin. Her husband and the Cakes came to her side to tend at her.

“She kinda does have a point…” Firefly rolled her eyes.

“I’m not proud of what I do in my personal life but...It’s my personal life.” She poked at his chest the way one would buck a tree. ”I expected better from you! I don’t see you since...Since forever and you make this entrance and the first thing you say is for embarrassing me!” Rainbow wiped a small tear from her cheek before anything or anypony could see it.[

“I...I…” Blitz stammered.

“Do you...Do you have any idea how your daughter could feel? I’m going to be a mother and I don’t even have the time to settle down and think about it. And when I do, I have to put up with embarrassing moment after embarrassing moment or I just find out that I’m...scared…”

“D-Dashie…” Firefly stepped forward and caressed Rainbow’s cheek with a hoof.

“I don’t know anything about raising kids. What if they don’t like me? What if I don’t know how to say no or to comfort them after a bad day? What if I end up being some kind of nasty drill sergeant even with them? I hoped to have you two to ask, because you are my family and the moment this guy knows...He makes a joke!”

Blitz looked away, ashamed of himself. He fidgeted on his hooves and tried to say something, only to realize that silence was the only sensible choice.

“I thought you had changed! I got this far from nothing! I even travelled through tim—Time and time again only to find you in the same place. Just...what is your problem? Why do you feel the need to be some kind of joker, always out to make me look bad? Why can’t you just be...The dad that just wanted to make my day a little more awesome? Why can’t you just be that?”

“Because I’m a complete twat…” He finally said.

“Dear…” Firefly said, running to his side.[

“No, it’s true. You even said that a few times.”

“As a joke!”

“This time it’s true. I like to say the silliest things and I’m too immature to stop when I go too far. I’m immature with you because when I am with you...I feel happy! I want to joke and laugh and damn the consequences.” He grabbed Rainbow into a tight embrace, compressing her ribs in the unwanted hold. Dash, being used to Pinkie’s crushing embraces, wasn’t bothered much. In fact, it felt...kinda nice?

“It reminds of all the time I made my little filly laugh. Of all the times she came back home covered in mud because she crashed on the ground one time too many.”

Dash chuckled weakly. “Yeah, I remember that. But you were there to make me laugh. To make me see that it wasn’t that bad. To remind me there was another day I could try and succeed.”

“But I’m weak and immature. I push the joke too far and I end up hurting your feelings because I fail to see how much you’ve grown. I can only see the little filly without a care in the world that laughs at her dad’s silliness. Not caring for what happens next. Completely misguided, too."

“Yeah, you did. Do you think just admitting it is enough?” Dash’s voice trembled and tears screamed at her to come out. As much as she wanted to forgive him, years of resentment gnawed at the back of her mind.

“No. That’s too easy. The only thing I can do is...at least try to be better. I’m sorry for everything.” He hugged his daughter even harder than before, drawing at least one small squeak from her. “Could we...Could we start again?”

“Which means…?”

“Maybe I could just exit the shop and, I dunno, re enter it and say something less stupid.”

“Nah. I’m liking this hug. Let’s just start from here” Rainbow hugged him back and she felt a burden lifted from her chest. “Well, I guess now you know, too. Everypony does.”

“I do...Oh my gosh...Now is hitting me...You’re pregnant!” he chuckled and let go of Rainbow Dash. He cried some small tears of joy and tried to hide them with a hoof. “I’m a grandfather!”

Firefly rolled her eyes and then hugged her daughter as well.[

“Oh my gosh! Mommy and Daddy Dash! Everypony is here!” Pinkie squealed of joy and jumped up and down. “What a crazy coincidence! Why don’t you introduce me?”

“Mom, Dad...She is Pinkie Pie.” Clyde coughed, that imperscrutable look still etched on his eyes. “Oh, and with family. You know, just for making this far more awkward.”

“Ouch. I feel more of a jerk than ever…” Blitz said while Pinkie Pie was pulling the two into a powerful hug. “Hope you’re not angry with me, too…”

“Nope, Mr. Daddy Dash. I’m just so happy of finally meeting you.”

“You can call me Blitz…”

“Well, now you have to meet my family as well, so I got to meet my parents in law and you get to meet Dashie’s! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh!” Pinkie let go of the two and jumped her way around, to the surprise of Firefly.

“Is she always like this?” Firefly asked with a smile.

“Only on special occasions.”

With everypony acting out in a most deserved family portrait, Dash could finally realize to have won. Completely and utterly won. She went to impossible lengths to keep her secret in the most acceptable way, extorted favors from the spirit of Chaos and Disharmony, got a wonderful mare at her side and made peace with her father and herself. Sure, maybe a little less epic than she hoped it would’ve turned out but it was nothing that couldn’t be a little spiced up in her memories.

She had finally the time to breath and to stop being afraid. A moment to think of her foals and her life together with Pinkie Pie. A smile lit up her face at the thought of it and life was good. She thought about her words about having to live with her. Maybe there wasn’t a need to live up there, with constant need of Cloudwalking spells. Maybe she could just sell her old house and by another one on the land. Maybe keep the bed because mattresses were terrible for her back and—

“Rainbow Dash?” Clyde approached from behind. “May we have a word or two?”

“Well, of course, sir.”

“You have a strange family.”

“And you got a strange daughter.” She glanced at Pinkie Pie, dispensing hugs left and right without a care in the world, her laugh so vibrant and mirthful. “A strange, wonderful daughter.”

“I guess you are really serious about her. I’m not an easily moved stallion, but...Your words were sincere. I can feel that. In here.” He passed a hoof on his chest in circles.

“They were. All of them. “

“I’m glad of that.” He took a deep breath and placed a hoof on her shoulders. “You know, I first thought you were some kind of Cloudsdale Floozy.”

“Hey!”

“I do hope you really want to go through with marrying my daughter before the foals are born.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that. I am going through it! We will need some time to organize it, of course. Find a place to hold the ceremony, find some dresses not too fancy but still something tasteful and the catering and the rings and a house to live and————

A weird static noise followed by a roar filled Dash’s ears. Everything was covered in blinding light so she closed her eyes shut to get rid of it. An awful sense of dread filled her heart when she couldn’t feel anything under her hooves for the second time.

“I now pronounce mare and wife!” Rainbow Dash heard Princess Celestia’s voice right next to her once the roaring quelled. When she opened her eyes she found herself to her enormous surprise in Canterlot’s gardens!

With the Princess right next to her, together with Luna and Cadence under an ark made of white flowers! Her family and Pinkie’s sitting in the first row of plastic chairs, cheering and stomping their hooves on the ground in joy while Luna’s Milky Moon shone upon them. Twilight and the others were alternatively cheering and crying tears of joy. Spike in a tux stood and started clapping his hands.

A bright flash of pink in a white, poofy dress lunged at her in a kiss, causing even a louder cheer from the crowd. Pinkie Pie lunged her lips with Dash’s in a moment that seemed to last an eternity and sweeter than ever.

“Bloody Discord!” Rainbow thought and, for some reason, in a Trotthingham accent!

Chapter 9

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 1

Chapter One

by Damocles23

Some mares really got to have secrets.

In the sea of streamers, laughter and jaunty pop tunes dancing out of the old, but still functional, gramophone, the only pony whose smile started to uncharacteristically and suddenly falter was Rainbow Dash’s.

It was mostly because the secret of the mare in question was going to pop out from between her legs, right in front of her closest friends and a few pets. A secret in the form of an obscene, pulsating erect dick.

It wasn’t the first time she’s gotten that stiff in public, but it never happened when she was with her friends, especially during such a simple occasion, like a Pinkie Pie party.

She could only hope to keep the raging meat between her hindlegs in check for the rest of the evening and have a cold shower or two, praying that nopony noticed. The party pony waggling her delicious looking rump in front of her wasn’t helping. At all.

“What do you think about it, Dashie? Do you think that I have too much booty?” Those delicious round flanks danced in front of Rainbow Dash’s astonished gaze, and the half erected member darted forward between her thighs, rubbing against her cerulean belly and pulsating with carnal glee. She steeled her hindlegs and crossed them over her shame and followed with a fake giggle.

“It’s not that bad, Pinkie Pie. It kind of looks the same to me and—” Rainbow’s words were shoved right back into her mouth thanks to an enormous pink butt. She clenched her thighs further, before her huge mark of infamy fully escaped from her blue sheat, while a mere whimper of fear was muffled by the mounds of pink flesh.

“That’s not what Rarity said, is it?” A shifty eyed look was quickly hidden behind a glass of punch, belonging to a white unicorn that really wished to be somewhere else.

“Well, dear, I just said your figure was getting kind of more plump than usual. I’m not saying that—”

“I’m not fat, am I?” the pink pony gasped, while the blue pegasus still struggled for air while buried between the party pony’s buttcheeks. “I mean, I know I’m getting a little more roundy, but F-A-T?”

“Well, smothering Dash isn’t going to help,” said Twilight with an impish smile and proceeded to separate the two with a magical purple hue.

Dash took a deep breath and Pinkie landed softly a few inches away from her on all fours.

“Thanks, Twi,” she panted out, her mind wandering around the most unsexy thoughts possible. Everything to forget the enticing aroma of the pink pony’s nether regions, praying for a cold shower that would have arrived too late.

“I was just making a friendly consideration, darling. I’m sorry if I offended you.” Rarity immediately approached Pinkie with a contrite look.

“No problem, Rarity,“ Pinkie chirped, “I know you mean well and you just want me and everypony to look good.” The pink pony stopped with a vacant stare and wore her usual puppy smile while Rarity happily finished her glass, relieved. “But wait a minute, Dashie!”

“Uh? What is it?” The pegasus threw a quick look to the door, still concerned by her wild genitals rubbing with ferocious need against her inner thighs. Rainbow gulped and groped for those unsexy thoughts. Her mind summoned Snowflake in a skimpy thong, shaking dangerously close his hairy, greasy buttocks near her face...

Yes, that did the trick.

“You didn’t finish. I’d like to hear your opinion at least, since you’re athlete and everything. How do you manage to look so good?” the pink pony asked with an innocent and inquisitive look, wagging her tail.

Rainbow mentally sighed in relief while her eyes wandered very far from that inviting pink cushion. That delicious, completely hot rear behind managed to, even if was getting a little more plump than usual, maintain a fine, perfectly round contour without an ounce more of bodily fat than necessary. Her cheeks flushed red for her remark, too. It was always nice to be complimented on her looks.

“Well, let’s start by saying you’re not out of shape. It’s not like you do anything but eat sweets and work at the shop. I mean you certainly worked today to set up this party.” She glanced at the decorations around her. “And for the one the other day and the day before that—”

“Don’t forget that one you set up for Mayor Mare’s nephew last week,” Fluttershy pointed out while floating and dancing to the happy tune of the gramophone.

“And that one for mah little sis’ birthday. That was a really good party,” Applejack intervened, munching on a pastry.

“Like I was trying to say”, Rainbow continued, “You just need a more proper set of exercises and you’ll be alright in keeping in check those wild flanks of yours.”

“A more organized training regime is the answer for everything!” Twilight’s eyes shone and quivered with an enthusiastic light, “I agree with Dash.”

Rainbow rolled her eyes and chuckled, “Yeah, I’m sure you do. Well, I think we have the ‘Egghead seal of approval there’, so I guess we’re good, right?”

Twilight stuck out her lower lip and pouted while still managing a strained grin. Rainbow knew she wasn’t really offended by the remark, of course, and the grin slowly turned into a restrained chortle which Pinkie and Fluttershy joined.

“But I do train! The twins require an absolutely perfect performance. First class entertainment that requires occasional—”

“Exactly. That occasional has to go!” Dash ran to the pink pony and poked her in the chest with a hoof. “Do you want to be ‘plump’ forever?”

“You mean FUR-EEE-VHEEER?” Pinkie’s voice boomed and distorted itself. The sound of thunder cracked in the distance...on an otherwise clear day. Nopony commented on the issue, for good reason.

“Yeah! But plump is just the start. The start of a downward spiral of eternal chubbiness!” The white unicorn extended a hoof in disbelief towards the two while her half opened mouth contorted in a way that was basically saying: “ I can’t believe we have just come to this.” Something twitched against Dash’s belly and, suddenly, the word come stopped being appropriate.

The party pony gasped and bit her hooves while the white unicorn pouted with guilt. “I just made a friendly remark...” she mumbled. Fluttershy couldn’t help but try to contain an impossibly educated giggle.

“Yes, Pinkie! And you would be forever known as—”

“Don’t say it!” Terror clutched the pink pony’s heart while Twilight hit her forehead with a hoof in complete embarrassment. Applejack covered her eyes with her hat, still stifling a little laugh.

“Yes! Plumpy Mc Plump-Pony! Search your feelings. You know it to be true.”

Pinkie fell on her rump and shaked her hooves at sky in denial and absolute terror, screaming as if she could tear the skies apart, “NEEEEEEIIIIGHHH!” To her side came both Twilight and Fluttershy, comforting the party pony in a hurry.

“Maybe you didn’t need to go that far,” said the purple mare while patting Pinkie’s back, biting her lower lip in deepest concern. The rose mare with her rose colored mane shot a look of burning disapproval. Dangerously close to The Stare, even.

A twinge of guilt bit the back of Dash’s brain, but her taste for the dramatic could be the salvation for the both of them. “But don't worry, Pinks. There’s somepony that can still help you.”

The party mare jumped on her fours and stared deeply into the blue pegasus’ eyes, poking her nose with her own. “Who is it, Dashie? Who? Who?”

“Well, the coolest mare in Equestria, of course.” Dash’s ego began to inflate, swelling with glee. “A pony smart, cool, awesome and not so hard on the eyes.” All of the mares in the room rolled their eyes and let out a long, frustrated sigh, while the pink mare wildly stared in front of her in breathless admiration. “Not to mention the fastest flyer in Equestria, if not the world!”

“Not to mention modest.” , Applejack mumbled with the driest and most deadpan look in her arsenal. Rarity nodded with her usual composure.

“You have any idea who that could be?” Rainbow swelled her chest with pride and closed her eyes, waiting for the pink mare to satisfy her ego, basking in the pure admiration her friend had for her...

“Of course! Derpy!” Rainbow’s wings deflated just like her ego, her self esteem, her hopes, dreams, her self image and, for some reason, her stallionhood. She had just discovered that Pinkie Pie also has the awesome power of killing an erection with mere words.

Even Twilight looked embarrassed for her. “I, um, I think Dash was talking about herself.” Fluttershy was ready for another comforting hug, this time directed to the blue pegasus.

“Oh.” Pinkie’s pupils widened with a comical pop. “I’m sorry, Dashie.” She scratched the back of her head, avoiding the disgruntled athlete’s gaze. “You know...you’re much cooler than Derpy. I mean, you’re so fast and funny and everything you just said...PleaseDashieIwasjustjokingforgivemememememe!”

The pink pony latched herself on the pegasus in a powerful hug, squeezing her tender ribs.

Rainbow rolled her eyes and resigned herself to the crushing embrace, shaked mercilessly by the pink pony’s powerful forelegs. “Don’t worry, Pinkie. We’re cool.”

“No. You’re cool! Totally, impossibly cool. The coolest pony in the world that I hope will still help me get in shape and—”

“Of course I will help you.” The shaking suddenly stopped and a tearful look of gratitude from a pair of crushed blue eyes followed. Her lower lip stuck out and trembled until a high pitched cry escaped from the pink pony.

“Oh my gosh, thank you!” Rainbow’s ribs almost popped and threatened to escape that blue and squishy prison subjected to numerous and too often tortures. ”I promise I will make you proud of me.”

Dash chuckled nervously, trying not to think of the pain, focusing instead on other things, like Pinkie’s enthusiasm and cheerfulness that, while a bit painful, was also appreciated. “Oh, don’t worry about that. You’re my friend, remember?”

“And you’re mine. My besty-bestest friend.” Pinkie buried her face deeper in Rainbow Dash’s coat, snuggling on her with all the subtlety of an annoyed bear. A pink, squeeing, totally adorable bear. A few broken ribs were worth it for being held in such a high regard. Higher than even the pegasus could hope to be, up there, in the clouds. “So, how about tomorrow? Maybe tomorrow morning?”

“Uh? Of course. Tomorrow is Sunday and the shop is closed on Sunday so I guess we could.”

“That’s my girl.” Rainbow patted Pinkie on her curly head and she went hopping on her merry way like nothing ever happened.

“See you tomorrow, workout buddy!” she replied with a freakishly wide grin before diving face first into a chocolate cake that looked like it was placed there for that same purpose. Knowing Pinkie, it probably was.

Rainbow glanced in the direction of Rarity, shaking her head left and right while the cream colored mare tended to her. “Promise me, dear: the next time I say anything, stop me.”

“Well, we know you didn’t do that on purpose. Even though... I don’t know. Pinkie seemed strange.”

“Oh, now you noticed.” Rarity rolled her eyes before bursting into a laughter that all the girls, Pinkie included, joined. The perfect, fitting conclusion for an evening that could have turned in a disaster very quickly. But for this very reason, that laugh still felt bitter in Dash’s mouth.

The metaphorical bullet was dodged, but for how long?

***

She slammed her door even though the cumulus forged walls barely made a sound. She needed to hit something, anything, whenever she felt so nervous—no doubt aided by the basest of instincts gnawing at the back of her mind. Basically, she needed to jerk off really badly, lest the world suffer the destruction of reality itself! Or passing the rest of the night in an awful mood, same thing, really.

How could she explain this secret to her closest friend? How would the girls look at her? Like some kind of freak, a half-breed...a monster, maybe?

No. Not from them. Never from them. She would have compassion, understanding and caring...and never be seen under the same light. That same light she cared for, far more than being fully understood. The strict laws of ‘coolness’ didn’t have place for that luxury.

That secret had to be brought to her grave and not even those wonderful friends could know, sadly.

A special somepony, a pony that would be understanding and loving, a pony that would be so kind to accept Dash for what she is and not for what’s between her legs would be a blessing. Rainbow was never the kind to lose hope this easily: in the wide world of the Equestria, there must be a pony like that.

Her outright refusal of anything she deemed sappy, though, interrupted that brief romantic moment, so she could finally focus on more mundane affairs, i.e. her throbbing penis finally allowed to breathe the air of the night.

Curved to a rakish angle, it was blessed much more of girth than length, even though it was long enough to put a lot of dicks to utter shame. Not that she saw many of them. In the flesh, of course. The tip bulged outwardly as her medial ring glistened in the pale moonlight in a pure, old fashioned, mare-plumbing way. Below it stood her normal mare parts, her clitoris perfectly aligned with the massive bulgy vein on the center of her blue cock.

She saw her pride twitching and spasming while a tip of precum slowly fell to the cloudy floor. Her marehood started to burn of lust and, she admitted it, narcissistic joy. She knew it was time to clear her head of these thoughts...and of some semen along the way, of course.

With almost detached fashion she gingerly moved a hoof toward her penis and brushed lightly against the smooth skin. The mere touch of just a centimeter made her tremble and shiver, sending a wave of cruel titillation across her spine, along with electric jolts of carnal madness.

Rainbow Dash never backed down from a challenge and rubbed further along the lower part, pleasure already wrecking her mind as her male part stiffened and extended itself, forming a perfect curve with her belly. Her other hoof moved of its own will and grabbed, firmly, her penis. The lustful massage began, and she could feel her semen begging to burst out, before its burning need poisoned her rationality further. Its piercing, musky scent filling her nostrils wasn’t doing anything but help this proposition come true.

The strokes went frantic, fueling her massive arousal at a steady pace. Her extremely sensitive appendage pulsed and shivered at every flick of her hooves, at every rough stroke, and thoughts of her glorious and lustful goal of spraying her cream all over the cloud bank filled her mind like white noise, her voice cracking and coming out in sticky globs. Her wings tanned and fluttered frantically, losing a few feathers to the violent spasms of her body, each curve flailing wildly in the air as her stallion-meat throbbed and shook.

Thus it continued until the unexpected happened: drowned in the pleasure of the moment, two beautifully round pink orbs appeared before her. She could see them shaking in front of her, begging to be taken, sharing their exquisite warmth on the tip of her cock, searching for its prey, until a gentle guiding hoof drove them below, just enough, to a wet, wonderful prize and the impossibly sweet voice that owned it squealed of delight when that dripping marehood was pierced...

Oh, Dashie...

She floated in the air as her massive girth exploded, sending fast spurts of cum all over the house. Pleasure, forged in the heavens themselves, surged across her shaft and to her very soul while her hips thrusted in and out, lost in the imaginary pussy.

The first one jettisoned its way so hard that it pierced her cloudy floor, sending the white projectile down on Ponyville. Another spurt came out weaker but shot fast enough to disappear in the opposite direction of the first one and into the aether and beyond. Or probably it went through the ceiling and stuck on the roof.

The third one came out much stronger than the previous one, so much to make a good kind of pain ripple across her shaft, followed by a howl of pleasure. She glanced nervously at her window and saw it fortunately closed, so the sound of her lustful fun would remain private.

Other shots of jizz came out at a drastically reduced force, reducing in time to a mere trickle of semen and then just a few, slow drops. Her shaft went flaccid as the athlete could see the results of her works in the form of small lakes of semen gleaming like a pearl necklace on the cirrus, slowly absorbed by the cloud and disappearing from sight, leaving just it’s pungent scent.

Along with the frustrated pants and sighs coming from her orgasm wrecked body, her mind was clear enough to feel something else among the satisfaction: guilt.

Guilt for seeing her friend as an object, for letting her basic need fantasize about her in such a squalid way and for having enjoyed it. Most of all, she felt the horrible feeling that this will happen again because Rainbow Dash was a growing pony with needs...and with a friend with a really sexy butt....

Dash waved her hoof at the ridiculous thought and prepared for a nice, long night of sleep before meeting again the pink pony. Her friend. A friendly meeting with the least amount of sexy butt as possible.

She hoped, but not too much.

***

Sometimes the simplest of solutions is the right one. The band aid placed above her stallionhood itched and pressed uncomfortably against her skin, but it was sufficient for its purpose. Hay, she even found one the same color of her coat! Columbia blue is not a color that common, especially to find in a pharmacy.

Rainbow adjusted her mane and knocked at the door of Sugarcube Corner. Immediately the door opened to reveal the party pony in full training regalia: dark blue short shorts, a white shirt and a green sash on her head that squeezed her poofy mane like a cotton candy accident.

“How do you do that, Dashie?”

Rainbow turned toward her friend and noticed something missing. That fervor, that energy of Pinkie was somehow...gone. Well, almost gone. It was as if the bubbly and hyper-energetic pink pony had shed that otherworldly enthusiasm and came back to earth, to reality, for a fleeting moment.

“Uh?” Of course, the mare was taken abash by this instant change. ”Do what? Being awesome? It’s kinda my thing—”

“Putting up with me,” Pinkie blurted out and sighed, interrupting the boastful act of her friend as she hopped on the stairs and up to her room. She gazed at the wooden pavement of Pinkie's domain, her eyes wandering among a collection of small cushions scattered on the floor.

“W-What do you mean?” The pegasus cocked an eyebrow, confused. Dash reached out a tending hoof toward her friend and felt something warm growing in her chest. Pinkie’s sudden seriousness breached her heart and screamed at the pegasus that right there, right now, Pinkie needed her. The Element of Loyalty answered without further ado. “Putting up with you? You are my friend.”

“Remember at the party? I called you Derpy and latched onto you like some kind of sea thingy that attaches itself to rocks. You didn’t even get mad.” The pink pony landed belly and chin first on her bed, giving a full view of her generous butt to the pegasus...again.

This time, she noticed her blue shorts were way too tight, almost squeezing her generous curves to a ridiculous degree. With a weak pomf her wings shot themselves behind her back, the pink pony still blissfully unaware and burying her face in a faded magenta pillow. Rainbow shook her head of these thoughts and closed her wings with her hooves, floating to the bed, next to her friend.

“Well, it was a joke. At least that’s what you said. I told you I wasn’t mad about it.”Her smile was sincere and comforting, but it fell on blind eyes. That curly pink head still stared at her headstand.

“You know, Dashie...” she began drawing a circle with her hoof on the sheet, “I really wanted an excuse.”

“Uh? For what? If you think we are going to skip out on your workout just because of that cute little face—”

“I know I’m getting more plump and all. Rarity coming out with that line was just dumb luck. I just wanted to spend some time with you.”

Dash’s acts were being taken apart one by one, until only the true, loyal friend of Pinkie Pie was needed.

“Well, you could have just asked. I like staying with you. Maybe I can stay for a sleepover. How about that? Watch a movie, eat pies, the usual stuff.”

“Yeah, but sometimes I feel like I...tire you girls. I care so much at making you happy that, I dunno, maybe I’m overdoing it or something.”

“That’s bullward,” Rainbow said bluntly, but still without raising her voice, “You're not a bother. You’re cute and funny and totally awesome. You make me and all the girls laugh and feel fantastic—W-Why are we even having this conversation?”

Pinkie sighed again, not moved one inch by Dash’s heartfelt confession. Normally the pegasus would be bothered of having shown such private feelings without even noticing, but her friend’s well being was more important than, well, anything for her. The laws of coolness could be disregarded for a good friend’s sake. Which was, strangely, one of the rules themselves.

“What do I have to do to make you mad at me?”

“You can’t. You’re too pink and snuggly for that.” This cannot continue, Rainbow said to herself and the Element of Loyalty had to take the pink pony’s shtick and make her smile again. A true, genuine, contagious smile so the world may be a better place. “Buuut since I’m not that good with words...”

The party pony lifted the lock of the mane in front of her eyes and briefly caught a flash of the purest blue lunge at her and throw her on the floor. Pinkie Pie squealed and threw her hindlegs upward as Dash’s hooves moved up and down her sides.

“S-Stop it, Dashie. Now it really tickles,” she chortled, dissolving into wild, vibrant laughter and flaying around her limbs.

“Not until you become funny again!”The pegasus worked her tickling lower and lower, focusing her intent on Pinkie PIe’s plump flanks while trying not to get herself kicked by the still laughing pink pony. Pinkie’s laughter grew louder and dreamier with every passing second before her hind legs flashed forward and tightly locked themselves around the daredevil’s waist.

“Oh, you’re paying for this, D-Dashie!” She grabbed Rainbow by the withers and buried her snout in the pegasus’ shoulder.

“I’m a few bits shorts right now.” Rainbow’s laughter grew nervous as her magenta gaze locked with Pinkie’s charming blue eyes. The smile she desperately tried to make true again was mere inches from her face, matching her own.

“What about paying in kind...” Pinkie whispered in her ear and the world simply stopped.

The pegasus closed her eyes and she felt a pleasant heat floating on her lips along with an impossibly sweet taste of taffy being left over her tongue. Rainbow’s heart beat faster and faster and her cheeks flushed a burning red. When she fluttered open her eyelids and saw the pink earth pony with her lips puckered, she closed her eyes and held her breath.

“P-Pinks...”

She liked it. The pegasus stood frozen, licking her lips to savor to the last once again that sweet, incredible aroma of taffy that still lingered on her. She needed some time to register what happened, being kissed by her best friend and all, but the only thought that was violently making its way into her mind was how much she liked it.

Before the pink pony’s mouth moved to say words of concern, or worse, of guilt, her lips were pressed against a pair of eager blue ones. Soft, simple and plain, more like a brush of lips against lips than a kiss. Dash’s trademark grin completed the picture, throwing the gauntlet at the pink pony.

The piqued party pony darted her tongue forward and pierced her lover’s complacent grin, forcing a dreamy moan from Rainbow Dash, sharing the sound of her delight in their kiss. Pinkie deliberately worked her way in her friend’s maw, sending Dash’s mind into a country of pure, acute bliss. The pink pony rolled the pegasus daredevil on her wings, stiffened with glee, causing her to let out a small squeak of pain, swiftly drowned in the excitement of the moment.

“I like you, Rainbow Dash!” she said softly as tears were crossed a smile that reached ear from ear. “And not in the way you like barley flavored milk or corn-cakes, but like like! Always did and always will!”

“R-Really?” Dash wasn’t scared even though her voice and her wings trembled. Surprised, yet delighted, from these turn of events, she felt that it was more than she could or should have have felt. Or maybe it was exactly what she needed. “Why did you tell me about that tiring thing?”

“Because, well, I wanted to know if my favourite pony in the world thought so too.” A bittersweet sentiment was etched in the pink pony’s eyes, until Rainbow’s caressed her cheek and added some much needed sugar. “When I’m with you I feel happier, awesomer, crazier than I’ve ever been. The world tastes sweeter when I am with you.”

She leaned down and kissed Dash on the bridge of her nose, giving a small lick on the cheek. Pinkie’s tongue danced down Rainbow’s neck before starting to coat it in small kisses that rapidly moved along her mane, her cheeks, and for a tauntingly brief moment on her mouth, until all of the rainbow maned daredevil’s head was covered in kiss marks. “That’s why I wanted this: just you and me and, oh my gosh, I’m so happy you like me back...Right?”

Dash answered by giving a quick, chaste peck on her pink cheek. The last chaste thing that will happen that day.

“And you want to know the best part?” Pinkie cooed before she started to bite and suckle on the columbia colored mare.

“Better than this?” she said, still dazzled by contentment and the intensity of their lip wrestling. Mostly contentment, actually. Pinkie Pie, though, tasted just so sweet.

“We’ve got the whoooole day!” Pinkie’s tongue slid again into the blue mare’s mouth and enveloped Dash’s own in its warm, wet embrace. Their tongues glided and circled each other sloppily, making the most uncouth slurping noises as Rainbow’s heart raced faster and faster and time lost any meaning, but the thought of pleasuring this mare, loving this pink mare with everything she had...

Until she felt a tight member around her crotch being pulled out and the fresh air sting against flesh that hasn’t felt it in a while. Flesh that flew halfway upward out her and poked the pink plush tummy of the mare above her. Rainbow abruptly broke the kiss, leaving a tiny strand of saliva strewn between their lips. She flew away from Pinkie, hiding in a corner of the bed.

“Dashie, what’s wrong?” Pinkie crawled on her knees to Dash side and placed a hoof on her shoulder. “Did I do something wrong?”

No answer from the horrified pegasus, save for a whimper at the sight of her tip poking right under her belly. She started ventilating as her wings pulsated frantically, trying to shield her sex as well as her face.

“Oh my gosh, I knew it was too soon. Stupid Pinkie Pie didn’t even know if you even liked other mares and I—”

“I do like mares. And stallions, too.” Not that it matters now, she thought. “Never saw much of a difference.”

“Oh. So you don't really like me. I understand.”

If her rock hard penis wasn’t enough, Dash could feel in her heart she didn’t want the pink pony to feel sad. Not even for a second.

Pinkie sat up. “I mean, I’m cute, but you’ll probably want somepony even cuter, or not just cute. Maybe a bombshell like Fluttershy or Spitfire or even Rarit—”

“That’s not true. I mean, I wouldn’t have kissed you back if I didn’t like you. I really like you.” Why are you saying this, Dash? Even if it’s true, which it is, but what should I say? Should I say no and break her heart? But if she wants to do this...and I want this too.

“Then what’s the problem, Dashie? I mean, if you don’t want this I-I can understand.” She spun her hooves, one around the other, oozing out the words in a half-hearted tone.

The pegasus strained out a throaty, copper tasting sigh from her mouth, gulped loudly, and mentally steeled herself to say something that will undoubtedly, absolutely, change everything. “I, well, I don’t know if you’ll still like me so much after this.”

A pair of pink hooves gripped her cheeks and a pair of blue eyes appeared out of nowhere, squeezing against her forehead. “Whatever you do, whatever you say, it won’t change the way I see my beautiful Dashie!”

There it was: that smile. The smile that only Dash could see and was reserved only for her.

The same smile that graced the pink pony whenever she offered her the last mug of cider or whenever she told her about inventing a new stunt.

The sweet, understated understanding smile that she could accept in only a million years and that as long she could see it, the blue pegasus would never be afraid.

“Just promise you won’t scream or gag or jump through the window.”

Pinkie nodded and stifled a little laugh. “If i do the last thing would you be there to catch me?”

Dash relinquished a nervous laugh and, without further hesitation, gulped and opened her legs, letting her stallion pride see light and Pinkie Pie’s freakishly large, full toothed smile. She averted the party pony’s gaze while her penis grew to full size while the halfway detached band-aid finally flew away in the wind to let her hardened pride free, complete with an elegant strand of cum sticked to her belly. The air frizzled against its surface and it twitched inelegantly just as Rainbow’s ears, bracing for a scream of terror and disgust...that never came.

“Wow.” Pinkie’s lips formed a perfect ‘o’ while she stood in silent amazement. The pink pony stood unblinking and unmoving while eyeing Dash’s still growing member. It looked almost like it never had a fixed length, but just decided it on its own, depending on the occasion. And the occasion demanded a couple inches more, just to further impress her friend.

“Well, I guess now you know.”

“Wow.” Pinkie repeated before a wheezing laughter. “But how did you...? I mean, wow! How did it...?”

“Well, it’s kind of boring. You see—” Dash’s words were choked back in her mouth by a squishy pink hoof.

“Waitwaitwait! Let me guess: a magic mishap! I knew Twilight was good, but using you for something like that—Is there something between you two?” She bit her hooves in horrified hurry.

“No, it’s not Twilight’s fault.” Rainbow removed her friend’s hooves from her mouth. “At least this time.”

“Was it Discord? I knew he was still running around and messing with everypony, but why didn’t you say anything?! Oh, Fluttershy is going to be so mad! She will totally not let him become her boyfrie—”

“It wasn’t Discord either.” The mare was getting a little annoyed. Maybe if Pinkie got a little closer to the much simpler truth...

“Dimensional traveling! During our time in the Crystal Empire, because of that meany King you got stuck between our universe and a universe where everypony who is a mare is a stallion and every stallion is a mare and you got fused with your counterpart except in your privates and that’s why—”

“For Celestia’s holy buttocks, I was born this way! Happy now?” Rainbow screamed, almost knocking out the pink pony off the sheets, and pouted, raising her grumpy mood to a level never seen before. She also started thinking the same way Pinkie Pie talks, which wasn’t a good sign.

“Sorry, Dashie. But, well, I’m sorry, but you were right, it is kinda boring.” She hid behind a hoof to hide her barely constrained laugh, and her eyes wandered between Dash’s pout and her shiny black dick. Mostly falling on her dick. “You know, I could have never imagined—”

“Just the way I liked it.”

“I mean, your Mommy and Daddy surely know.”

“And Nurse Redheart. You know, being cool doesn’t mean you don’t get sick sometimes. And I guess we can add you to the list.”

“But were they cool? WIth it, I mean? Your parents and your thingy?” Pinkie scratched the back of her head, her eyes still drawn to Dash’s crotch and barely trying to conceal it.

A tear almost escaped her, yet she isn’t sure why. She sucked it back almost instantly, never letting a much more painful truth come out to hurt the pink pony.

“I’m so glad.” Pinkie pounced Rainbow Dash and squeezed her forelegs around the pegasus’s shoulder, still keeping the lower part of her pink body as far as possible from Dash’s stick, awkwardly shifting her balance across her pink pudgy mass.

“You know, if it makes you uncomfortable you can say that.”

“No, it doesn’t. It was just unexpected to say the least. And it’s friggin huge! Sorry.” Pinkie fidgeted, barely constraining her limbs so as to not flail and jump all over the room and right on top of Rainbow Dash. Not that the pegasus would have complained.“Well, you know...Let’s just come out with it straight: you still want to do it with me?”

“Yes, please. Absolutely. I so want to do it with you that it hurts!” She pressed her hooves to her mouth, but it was too late. The sexually-frustrated pegasus, or better, her male parts had spoken the truth. Pinkie Pie crawled her way on the soft linen and pushed her lips against the pegasus’ own.

There was nothing in their way, nothing to be ashamed of.

Nothing to hide for just one day. Not to her.

A much gentler kiss ensued, the kind of kiss that didn’t necessarily mean lust or just a key to rile up one pony body to mere fucking. It was the kiss of a concerned lover, that only meant comfort and admiration. It oozed of all the kindness and enthusiasm for the pink pony that Rainbow praised so much, all reserved for the rainbow maned daredevil that she accepted with greed.

Her scintillating blue eyes opened themselves to stare and plead at the athlete while those pink hooves that held and caressed her until now, slowly slithered down her her blue sides, ready to reach themselves and cross over her nether regions.

Rainbow nodded and Pinkie gave her a quick peck on the lips followed by a melodious giggle as her tongue darted out and ran over Dash’s belly.

Dash’s fur stood up, glowing of electrical glee. Her loins fueled by desire as the pink tongue ran down and down, she could sense Pinkie’s taunting hot breath on her nether lips. “Wow, you got both things and they look so...”

“Awesome?”

“Nah, not awesome. We keep using that word. Maybe, uuummmm, how about...”

“Radical?”

“Not awesome enough.”

Dash rolled her eyes in frustration. “Cool?”

“Deliciously humptastic!”

She drove her tongue against her exposed pink flesh and Rainbow screamed as a small drop of precum from her shaft trickled weakly onto the sheets. Pinkie’s wonderful, hot breath teased her slit cruelly as her tongue landed delicate brush-like strokes on her marehood, daunting and delicate enough to form a masterpiece of crude arousal.

Adding the occasional suckling and brushing of her delicate lips and snout into the pegasus mare privates, the party mare hammered on her senses, beaten to a pulp and overloaded with raw pleasure.

Between bouts of almost drunken haze, she could see the pink pony pony laughing and bopping her nose on her engorged tip that sprayed the smallest drop of precum on the party pony at each touch. Between her innocent amusement and Dash being titillated on a very sensible spot, it was no wonder that the room became filled by their dreamy giggles.

“You’re so cute, Dashie! But now we’re getting serious...”

It was with a look of mixed terror and anticipation that she watched the pink pony lick her lips and wrap her swollen flare in her warm, soft lips.

In that moment, Rainbow Dash’s hot shaft knew how it felt to be one of Pinkie’s beloved candy sticks. Maybe it was just the mere, accepting touch of another pony or maybe it was that Pinkie Pie was really good at sucking things, but her cock in Pinkie’s tight mouth felt like it was in the place where dreams come to be and some of the greatest magic come true.

“Whoah, Pinks...This is...” Better. Better than anything... than anypony could me make me feel!

Her lips running up and down her shining black dick was far more enticing than the mere touch of a hoof, of anything she could believe. When the party pony’s warm tongue came into the picture, Dash’s lips poured incoherent moans and declarations of carnal madness that spread as a daguerreotype throughput her solid, tense muscles before pouring into her web of nerves and fur, drowning her senses in sea of slobbering saliva.

Pinkie’s gulping went faster and faster as she penetrated her own maw with the blue pegasus’s length while Rainbow grabbed her curly mane and started shoving it into that absolutely fuckable mouth with all the sweetness and subtlety of a train wreck. Of oral sex.

The pink pony gagged and squealed, but was undeterred in her obscene goal and gulped down what her friend offered her with the aid of her hips. Just to demonstrate how awesome Pinkie was, she immediately remembered her pussy and started rubbing her hoof onto her friend’s clitoris. Now the pink pony finally showed her mastery of fuckery and the wave slammed into her and turned the once, kind-of-rational pegasus into a quivering mound of horny blue jelly.

Already brought to the brink by that moist, slippery mouth of her best fiend, her facefucking went out of control until the muscles at the back of her penis somehow untied themselves and the roaring pressure sucked out all of her white jelly from her internal balls, which gurgled lewdly from inside her belly. It came close, so close, she could almost feel her baby batter swirling inside her balls, feeling its cozy warmth simmer within until her cock throbbed and released its boiling content.

Her muscles hardened and enlarged as she came, harder than she ever had before, or dreamed of. An ocean of cum barged from outside her cock as a battering ram of the purest white and filled the pink pony’s mouth. The blue athlete sobbed and laughed as the cumsplosion made her way from inside her to her friend’s cheeks that enlarged slowly like a pink balloon, shooting even some of her precious white ambrosia from her nostrils, before a huge, final slurping came from her flare as the pink orb deflated and Pinkie Pie swallowed her friend’s cream. From those voracious pink lips seeped some of Rainbow’s seed, dribbling back on the surface of her black shaft.

One last stroke of the tongue and the blue mare’s stallionhood , now starting to shrink, escaped from that hungry, soft mouth with a small pop. Spent, exhausted and so completely done, the pegasus could only see a black veil envelope her senses as the curtain finally fell on Pinkie's adorable smile, thick smears of cum playing at the dimples.

“P-Pinkie..” the future Wonderbolt grogged out before being taken by a much deserved slumber, “Am I really your favourite pony?”

“Until the end of the world,” she chirped while caressing Dash’s cheeks with both her hooves and planting a small kiss on her nose. “Forever and ever, Dashie. ”

True happiness filled her heart as she was taken in the world of dreams as the pink pony embraced her and rested her curly head on her chest, instinctively wrapping a loving and protective wing around her.

***

Sometimes, Twilight Sparkle worried about her fellow citizens. Mostly because, to a lack of a kinder terms, she had the pleasure to meet most of the ‘simplest’ ponies she had ever met in her young life. She never thought the worst of the googly-eyed mailmare, but the words of concern gnawing at the back of her purple head told her it was her right, neigh, her duty as an upstanding citizen of Equestria and an example for her fellow ponies to inform her in any way possible, even at the cost to hurt her sensibility.

“You know, Derpy. Your mane looks, um...” She scratched her head, trying to come up for some words that weren’t a synonymous of ‘spikey mess’. Those terrifyingly, stiff blonde spires standing at the top of her head just further fed that suggestion. “Different?”

“How different? You like it?” she beamed, placing a book with the trust of her wing into her saddlebag.

“Well...” She averted her gaze from how shiny her mane looked and shut down every unsavory suggestion her, surprisingly malicious, mind was forging by the second. “It’s some kind of new gel?”

“I don’t know! Last night I was just taking a stroll, you know, I think near Rainbow Dash's place, and a I felt something warm and sticky falling on my head. When I get home I see my mane looking really cool and that’s about it. Glad you like it!” The pegasus waved affectionately at the librarian and flew towards the door. She opened it and the door revealed her two friends, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash, landing just in front of her doorstep. Well, just Dash landed while the pink pony hung onto her back for the ride.

Derpy kept the door open for the pink baker while she exchanged a brief, sloppy kiss with the blue pegasus. Pinkie hopped her way inside the library and chirped a salute. “Hi, Twilight!”

“Hello Pinkie. What brings you here?”

“Oh, nothing. Dashie was giving me a lift and I had the awesome idea to go to your place for a while. I just need a favor.” Pinkie blushed and stifled a small smile. The unicorn’s brilliant mind wound down its musings and arrived to an obvious, and quite sweet, conclusion.

“Let me guess. It’s about you and Dash,” she giggled.

“Oh, yes! You may have noticed that Dashie and I, well, are a lot more friendly as of late.”

“You don’t say. The kiss spoke about a thousand words.”

“Ten thousand! Three Hundred Thousand! Six Hundred hundreds of hundred of thousand!” Pinkie skimmed in circles around the purple librarian, a grin plastered on her face, as she looked at her with a mixture of happiness and awe. “But there’s a little problem.” Pinkie stopped in mid air and slowly landed on the wooden floor.

“Huh? Why is that? Is that the reason you came to me?”

“Well, yes. But if you can help, and I’m sure that you can...Nothing can leave these walls. It’s a secret!”

“Yeah, sure. I Pinkie Promise to you to keep the secret. Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” Twilight quickly repeated the well known mantra and followed with the thoroughly tested series of gestures, punctuated by a slight poke on her eye.

“You know, Twilight, when somepony promises something really, really good to you and you just want to repay the favor because you like that pony and you want her to be happy just as she makes you? And you would do anything for that to happen?”

Twilight nodded.

“I want you to help me grow a dick.”

With that, all the blood fled from the purple unicorn’s face, her left eye weakly twitching in horror and disbelief. Now she was really worried for her fellow citizens and friends...

Continue...?

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

by Damocles23

There was something new in the air. The citizens of Ponyville couldn’t guess in a million years what it was, but they felt something different on one of Celestia’s sunny afternoons. A trail of a six-colored light swept their blue skies in a single blow, without any pegasus in sight or needed for the daily clean-up.

That’s because only the owner of those brilliant colours was needed up there: a new, enlightened Rainbow Dash, accepting of herself like never before—better, stronger and faster than ever. A new sense of pride guided her wings, jousting through the air currents like a crazy, darting eagle that swooped down on every trace of white that dared to offend this beautiful day, not unlike, dare she say, that same eldritch force that tampered with the weather in the Everfree Forest!

The usually lazy, easy-going pegasus was spurred to those greater heights by the most powerful emotion of all, sappiness not-withstanding: love.

That bubbly pink pony knew Dash, saw Dash as she really was, like nopony else could understand before and, what's more, she had loved what she had seen. How could she not repay her amazing friend with the same thing? Some Element of Loyalty she'd be! But metaphysical obligations weren’t the crux of the issue, nor was it a real obligation for her.

It was a sentiment so pure and so strong that it couldn’t have been guided by mere duty. Nothing ever told her what to do or who to love...except the daily weather report and the latest Daring Do reviews, of course. That pink pony surely ranked six stars out of five in her book.

The only thing compelling her to amazing clean-up feats was the burning desire to further impress the already smitten Pinkie Pie, so that her ‘favorite pony’ could show her how cool Dash really was. Favorite Pony, she thought again...

Luckily there were no other pegasi in sight, or else they would have seen a very giddy pegasus squeeing her flank off with glee.

Love was one thing, but getting a good blowjob really got a pony in a good mood.

The only thing that she regretted was not having spent more time with her Pinkie; she waggled her tail nervously on the cloudy surface as Celestia’s Sun warmed her coat. She wondered what she had to do that was so important at Twilight's place, but surely it wasn't something to worry about.

What, was she going to ask the Egghead Extraordinaire some magical sex advice to awesomely please the Dash during their planned nightly escapades? Now that was a crazy idea...

Luckily, her quickly derailing train of thought stopped dead on its tracks as soon as she saw a bouncing pink ball of awesomeness coming out of Ponyville’s Library. The blue pony rolled on her belly and burrowed her legs in the mushy, cloudy surface, making the comfy cloud her faithful steed.

A quick flutter of her wings and she was just a few inches above the pink pony. “Hi, Pinks!” she chirped, putting on her best smile like a fine dress. Pinkie valued smiles, after all, and Rainbow always wanted to be the best and at her best.

The pink pony pounced on her like a tiger and gripped her in a tight hug, snuggling against her coat so hard that she feared it would catch fire. “Dashie! Oh, I’m so happy to see you.”

“Well, I, ah—” Dash tried to talk, but her words were constantly stopped by the tenacious butterfly kisses that fell on her face as so many comets. “You were at Twi’s for what? Fifteen, twenty minutes?” The smooching stopped as fast as it had started; the pink pony stared blankly at the horizon.

“Oh, that’s true! But, you see, now that you know that I like like you and you like like me I feel so happy happy that even just a second where I can’t see my Dashie when I need my Dashie feels like hundreds of seconds. Even a minute.” Her hug relents a little, turning into something far more intimate and subdued: the kind of hug Dash can return with no fear for her ribs. Her favourite kind of hug. “And I want to spend all of my minutes with you, Dashie.”

“Come on, stop being this adorable. You want me to unleash the tickling hooves of DOOM?!” Her smile of delight turned into a mischievous grin as Dash's blue cylinders of DOOM made their way to the pink pony’s belly.

“No! Nothing has prepared me for those!” Pinkie put a dramatic hoof on her forehead along with the best terrified expression she could muster as she rolled her way around the pegasus on the cloud.

Rainbow ran in circles, chasing the pink pony while matching her laughter with glee.

“Not even your pretty cloud walking spell can save you!” Dash yelled as Pinkie tiptoed her way on the cirrus and inched herself slowly to the edge, only a mere meter separating her from the grassy ground.

“Yup. Since I asked Twilight about that thing I really needed to know, I threw in this spell so I could be with you, aren't you happy?”

“Yep! And in my turf you have no hoooop—” She launched herself against against Pinkie Pie, forelegs wide open... only to find that her pink friend had dodged the propelling pegasus with cat-like grace. The athlete flew right past her and drilled, face-first, right through the cloud. She resurfaced, undeterred, but with a giant, bushy beard of cloud hanging from her chin and upper lip. Of course, Rainbow noticed as she poked the moist and soft thing sticking to her face...and Pinkie noticed even harder as she laughed her flanks off.

“Aren’t you up too early, Granny Dash?! Ahahahahah!” Of course, holding her belly and flaying her hindlegs as hard as she could, the pink pony couldn’t have ever noticed her favorite pegasus very calmly removing the remains of the cloud from her face and rolling it into a ball until it landed in her face faster than she could say ‘cupcake’ three times in a row.

“You’re sure about that, Granny Pie?” Dash snickered as she saw Pinkie Pie poking her face, just like she had less than a minute ago, with an even crazier, three pronged beard style, the mere existence of which spat in the face of the laws of physics, magic and fashion sense. Not that the two cared for those silly little things. In fact, the daredevil pegasus found on her face the same viscous substance again...just as Pinkie Pie lunged at her, grinding her lips against her own in a warm, enveloping kiss.

Every kiss they shared reflected that unpredictable and yet so comforting behavior the pink pony had. Again, the same delicious aroma of taffy invaded her senses as her hooves moved along her soft, chubby curves. Never would the pegasus have suspected of being a ‘chubby chaser’, but she had never tried that before.

As her cheeks were cupped by a pair of pink hooves, Rainbow half opened her eyes and caught a glance of her friend, Twilight Sparkle, at the library’s balcony nearby. She moved a hoof to wave at her while she tried to very delicately break the kiss.

“Hi Twi!” she blurted out. Pinkie noticed and soon joined her blue fillyfriend in the salute.

Strangely, the purple unicorn seemed a little uncomfortable while matching the affectionate gesture, as her lips curled into an awkward grin and just a few seconds later she ran out, slamming the door with a magical purple hue.

“Weird. I hope you didn’t scare her or something, Pinks.” She leaned over to keep kissing the pink pony.

“You have no proof about anything!” Pinkie jumped away from the pegasus, still with her forelegs extended and lacking a chubby pink pony between them, her lips puckered for a kiss that never came. Instead, Pinkie Pie clutched tightly her saddlebag and not Rainbow Dash, in severe defiance of the laws of snuggling with the blue mare. Newly established and ill-defined, of course, but still laws.

“Well, I never said that.” Her pupils darted toward the semi opened bag, noticing a tip of something of the purest translucent black, and back to the pink pony. “What’s in the bag?”

“Something.”

“Something yours?”

“Maybe.”

“Something black?”

“Could be.”

“Something awesome?”

“To-ta-lly!” she sing-songed, whistling after giving a quick poke to the bottom of the bag. “But that’s a surprise. You know the thing about surprises?” She wiggled her eyebrows at Dash.

“They come in different flavors?”

Pinkie Pie pouted in the most adorable way while Dash’s ego inflated with an impertinent snicker, having found a joke so dumb that even Pinkie Pie was confused by it.

“But seriously, though: A true surprise has to stay a surprise, so is it?”

Pinkie giggled, “You know, I would have accepted the first answer, but you’re right! A surprise for tonight...” She flashed a sultry grin that boiled the pegasus’ blood with desire.

But for some reason, Rainbow was willing to wait, willing to make that night special. Willing to be at her sappiest for that little pink pony.

“You know, Pinks...There’s something I have to tell you, but not here.” She gave a little push with her fours and buried herself back in the cloud, inching her way with little nudges to her shoulders. “Just hang on.”

“Okey-Dokey!”, Pinkie Pie laid down, belly-first, on the soft surface and whittled her way toward the pegasus before giving her a small kiss on the cheek.

Rainbow drowned the ferocious blushing with stern wing flaps and the two started moving on their heavenly steed.

Silence surrounded them, save for the sound of air currents whistling at their sides. Silence wasn’t something that she expected from Pinkie Pie, but it was nonetheless pleasant. There was some sort of mute agreement between the two on not spoiling that special moment with silly words, even though, coming from Pinkie, they would have been gladly accepted.

“You know, Pinkie...I was kind of waiting for somepony like you," she said, staring at the blue vastness in front of her.

“Uh? Really?”

“Uh-hu. Somepony that could know about, well, my ‘thingy’, because a special somepony should know this, after all. I was scared.”

“You, scared? Of what?” she gasped, holding her chest with a hoof, “Of me?”

“Of what you or anypony else might have thought. I won’t make a secret that I care too much about what other ponies think of me—”

“Oh, don’t worry about that. Everypony knows it!”

Dash threw a threatening glare that lasted less than a second and continued.

“I felt lonely. I couldn’t let another pony get too close to me.”

“Even if you liked liked that pony?” Her blue eyes swelled, and tender tears got ready to rile up her cheeks, hidden in the corners like hungry beasts.

“Especiallyif I liked that pony. Because if that pony knew about my secret and if I lost him or her because of that, especially when I wanted to well, take what we had to the next step...Well...You've never seen me cry before, I think.”

“Nor do I want to! Ever!” Rainbow’s ribcage squeaked, definitely crushed by the pink pony’s embrace, transformed into a highly adaptable liquid goo that was accordingly shaped by Pinkie Pie’s affectionate whims. She bit her lip to keep inside a faint grunt of pain and circled Pinkie’s curly head that rested on her chest.”I will always make you smile. I would never make you feel sad or unwanted.”

“I’m glad you were the one to know, Pinkie. You know, when you said you liked me—”

“Liked, liked!” Rainbow could feel Pinkie's large grin, even when buried in her blue coat.

“For a second I really thought you were going to really run out the window. But seriously, though: Are you sure about this?”

“About what?”

“About tonight. You really want to ‘really’ do it like you said?” Unseen to everything and everypony, a caring hoof tenderly stroked Rainbow Dash’s cheek as a pair of blue eyes fixated upon her, with a look of the utmost admiration. “Aren’t you afraid of...that?”

“I’ve never been so sure of something like never before. I want this, Dashie. I want to be with you.” Pinkie slipped a pair of small kisses along Dash’s chest. “Totally...completely, one with you." She moved her lips towards Dash’s cheekbones and jawline, delicate as a breeze. “If you have a stallion thingy, then I want to be your mare.”

Dash’s mouth watered and her wings stiffened with extreme prejudice. Every cell, every unit of her being, was begging and screaming, screeching against the back of her head to take her there and now, to do her so hard so as to make their cloud shake and rumble, to make their love rain upon Ponyville and the unsuspecting heads of its citizen, to produce thunder and rain with their coitus, to make Pinkie moan even louder than thunder itself and it would feel like barely a whisper!

...Right in front of Twilight’s library and probably lots of easily impressionable ponies. Maybe even some little foals, so the thought perished, but was ready to be resurrected just that night, as planned. “Can I ask you a question, though?”

“Is it about advanced calculus? Because I totally can’t do advanced calculus! I mean if f(x) becomes closer and closer to L as x moves closer and closer to p, what does it mean that when f is applied to each input sufficiently close to p, the result is an output value that—” Pinkie’s mouth swallowed her surprising eloquence as Dash’s lips pressed against her own. Judging by her moans, the pegasus knew they had found out something better to do with their mouths.

The kiss broke off and the pink pony was left dazed, her head spinning with a smile of drunken stupor painted on her lips.

“What were we saying?” she asked, still lost in the fumes of what the pegasus would refer to as ‘Dashie’s Daze’.

“This question: What did you see in me? I mean, I'm just curious...”

“What everypony sees in you, I guess, but they don’t see it the way I do or you deserve. A beautiful, brave and completely awesome mare that I love with all my heart.” She shook her head and the unexpected seriousness that had dwelled in the pink pony’s eyes returned.

The only difference was that it didn’t bring melancholic thoughts or fears: it was a signature, a statement that the things she was saying were true and honest. It may have seemed as overdoing it, but what Dash saw the other day confirmed a simple truth.

Pinkie needed this, at the cost of sounding ridiculous, so that under the bubbly and cheerful outside, others could see a real pony with feeling, desires and fears. Be it hidden in their hearts or between two hindlegs, the two had something that they could share only with the other.

“A pony so cool that she didn’t hesitate to cheer me up when I felt so blue. Even though your blue is prettier.” Pinkie closed her eyes and puckered her inviting lips toward the blue mare.

“I’ll always be there for you, Pinkie Pie.” They kissed again and the world felt just right. With the corner of her eye, she could see Celestia’s Sun starting to make its place for Luna’s milky moon and the moment she had been waiting her whole life for drew closer...

***

The pale rays of moonlight timidly glowed upon Rainbow Dash’s window as two figures approached the bed with the grace of nightly breeze. The winged and leaner figure carried in her forelegs, bridal style, a pleasingly plump pink pony, her hooves wandering and caressing her mane and chest fur, stopping on a blue cheek to firmly plant a kiss on her lips. Pinkie’s back was gently placed on the soft, comfy cloud bed belonging to Rainbow as a cozy blue blanket covered her in its warmth while a pair of blue lips cascaded all over her cute, round face.

Rainbow’s snout brushed lightly against Pinkie’s neck, causing the little pink pony to let out a dreamy sigh. A faint shadow danced on her pink silhouette, caused by a pair of strong blue wings shot beside the blue pegasus, stiffened in carnal glee.

“So soft...” Pinkie moaned, her hooves raised toward Dash’s wing, but merely brushing the tip of a feather.

“Well, just give me a few minutes—” To her dismay, Dash’s member was just barely out of the sheat and half-way turgid: not even reaching Pinkie’s belly.

“I meant the bed, silly.” She punctuated the little giggle with another small kiss. “I've never slept on a cloud before.”

“You’ll do that plenty of times from now on, right?”

“I’d love to live with you, Dashie. Shame the spell lasts only three days.” Pinkie lunged upward and grasped Dash’s withers, allowing her spirited, little mouth to nibble dangerously close to the muscles that connect the pegasi wings to their back. Waves of metallic excitement shivered along her spine and her half erected penis dropped the half part, its wide corpus enjoying and giving a salute to the fresh air of the night.

“That’s part of the game. I don’t like things being easy. Be it a stunt or seeing my fillyfriend.”

“Fillyfriend?” Pinkie chirped with a hopeful tone, although her mouth was firmly grasped around Dash’s wing and her tongue went on and on to play with her sensitive feathers, so it came out more as a F-uh-fsssh?

“Yeah! Call me ‘old fashioned’, but I just don’t like using ‘partner’; it’s too neutral and also—Whoah!”

Something pink and curly hit her right in the chest, spraying a couple of feathers, out and a pair of pink, voracious lips pressed strongly against hers. Her back almost sunk into the cloudy softness below them. Pinkie Pie’s wet tongue swirled inside Dash’s mouth, eliciting a throaty moan from the mare below as her numb wings slid down the pink pony’s sides. Her wings massaged her cutie marks, each feather savoring the delicate roundness of her form.

“Dashie...I-I want you...” Pinkie whispered as a blue foreleg gently slid under the pit of her own and pressed her side. A gentle push and a pair of soft kisses on her forehead and neck brought her back on the bed. Dash drooled as she saw Pinkie Pie so serene and defenseless, on the metaphorical platter and putting a hoof on her forehead in a mockery of virginal candor. The facade slightly cracked; Pinkie stifled a small laugh and flashed a quick glance with a barely opened eye to the pegasus, sticking her tongue to the side and wondering where to start. Her sharp eye took notice of the extravagant curve of her belly and started from there, diving across Pinkie’s abdomen.

The pink pony let out something halfway between a moan and a giggle. “Right there, Rainbow Dash. Nahh...”

Rainbow’s tongue pressed harder on the pink pony’s tush and zig-zagged all over it until she reached her fillyfriend’s dripping treasure.

She stopped for a moment to admire it: so pink and juicy, her folds stuck out in an impertinent fashion, topped by a cherry like clytoris above its curve. It was so different from Dash’s...as far as she knew, at least. It did have the striking difference of not having a massive cock placed right above it. Dash’s baton shrugged and twitched against the moist, cloudy surface as her tongue explored Pinkie Pie’s folds.

The sweet way she moaned and the even sweeter taste of her cunt fueled Dash’s arousal. The cloudy bed was riled up with smears of female juice and precum, her dual natures dripping obscenely and making their way across the bouncy, white cold bed that held the two ponies so desperately in love. The smell was intoxicating, even. It drove Dash mad with desire as she explored her folds with her tongue and poked it with her snout, trying to not let out a cute sneeze. It felt even so warm, so inviting, but she wanted Pinkie to beg for it. That’s right: the pink pony had to see for herself how awesome her favorite pegasus was.

“Dashie...My beautiful Dashie...Give it to me. Take me now...” Her burning vagina flew away from Dash’s tongue and a big, chubby rear behind took its place. Pinkie stood on all fours and lifted her butt a bit. Rainbow could see her juices dripping on the base of her puffy, pink tail while her stiff member pointed it like a magnet or a hungry shark, waiting for its meal.

“Do me...”

Dash’s heart stopped at that mere whisper, and when the tail was raised like a curtain to reveal Pinkie’s pussy ripe for the taking, the pegasus gulped in a lust induced trance and finally dared to move toward her lover.

She grabbed her obscenely pulsating member with her trembling hoof and positioned herself in front of Pinkie’s entrance, twitching at the burning heat radiating from those enticing genitals. The mare bit her lip as her glans brushed against Pinkie’s slippery pink treasure, in a last-ditch gambit to avoid screaming from the pleasure rippling through her body. This is really happening... she thought, I never thought that it could be real...

But it was, and when she finally thrust inside Pinkie’s buttery goodness, and her tip felt the velvet-like beauty of her folds, her virgin mind broke. Her cockhead throbbed, sending some droplets of precum all over the entrance as she inched her way inwards as slowly as possible. The new feeling gnawing at the base of her abdomen urged her to go hard and fast. Just like she’d heard from those stallions too horny to care: perhaps a dozen blows and they blow it, with no care or subtlety.

She pushed slowly on Pinkie's swollen labia, instead, revealing the inner pink, well pinker flesh inside and they both gasped as they reveled in each other’s contact. Her mind wandered on how Pinkie must’ve felt if she was waiting for this for so long...Dash wanted to be worth the wait, of course.

“Ready, Pinks?” she asked and she could see her fillyfriend’s curly head nod several times in anticipation.

She gave a stronger thrust and she breached inside just like butter and her cockhead slurped in with an obscene pop as those tight inner walls clenched on her flare. She gasped again as tears of joy riled up her cheeks. “It feels...so good. Naahh...”

The pink pony screamed in delight as her tunnel of love was filled by Dash’s bulk. Her layers smothered the pegasus’ member, and yet she could thrust in and out with ease, a river of delicious juices lubricating her shaft and its scent, wonderful lovemaking scent filled her nostrils and fogged her senses. “Dashie’s thingy...It's sooo big!”

She let her chest fall on the pink pony’s back, her forelegs dangling at her shoulders side. She jerked her hips upwards and penetrated her Pinkie Pie at a narrower angle and she sunk back in her at a much crueler pace.

Pinkie Pie, as expected was totally receptive of even such an inexperienced fucking and she put her very soul in showing it: “Giddy up, Dashie! Make me a mare! Whohooo!” Her moaning turned into explosive chortling which Dash joined with gusto when a pink hoof extended toward her flank and slapped it, causing her laugh to turn into a mild squeal.

“Ouch! What was that for?” she said, panting.

“Sorry. Just wanted to see what would happen!” She turned to face the pegasus and flashed a freakishly large grin, framed by a drop of cold sweat.

“You do realize what that means, right?”

With the base of her cock wonderfully choked by Pinkie’s wild inner walls, her flare rubbed her way inside with the fury of a storm, each centimeter gained toward her cervix a beautiful reward in the form of a sweet ripple of bliss across her body. The gauntlet was thrown and Rainbow Dash lived up to the challenge.

She hit and crashed her glans into her lover, her crotch landing on the soft pink cushions of meat that constituted her lover’s behind. Rainbow snapped as she trusted faster and faster, reveling in the wonderful friction that enveloped her cock. Schickling sounds came out of Pinkie’s pussy as the orgasmic release built piece by piece in the two mare’s bodies.

Rainbow rode her passion like a hurricane and fastened her peace to unparalleled speed while a cascade of vaginal secretions came out of Pinkie Pie and dripped on her bed like rain. The pink pony abandoned what little subtlety or restraint she possessed and just quivered and shouted her pleasure as every piece of Dash’s meat made her way inside of her. Like thunder it boomed and pummeled inside of her, ramming on her party button like no tomorrow.

Rainbow pounded and shoved deeper and deeper inside of her as the fabric of delicate nerves inside of her stallionhood were unraveled; her cock melted and released its boiling baby batter. Dash’s mind went static, save for the function of her brain that was needed to rut the living fuck out of Pinkie Pie.

The orgasm...was impossible to describe, so unlike anything Rainbow Dash could have hoped to experience. She felt her whole being projected into another world, a totally different dimension with totally different rules where a beautiful pink mist bathed and rejuvenated her, where her dreams came true, where she was desired, needed and loved. Nothing could have prepared her for this and for all her life she never could have possibly considered it. At least not until a little pink pony came and the world became a better place.

Spooge after spooge of stallion butter poured into the pink pony, each wave of manly cum synchronized with Dash’s wild hips. Her soft walls slathered and massaged the massive black dick, enlarged far more than before from the the awesome power of sexual release, milking the cum out of Rainbow Dash and gushing every drop of virile liquid..

The white jelly of the pegasus washed Pinkie’s insides and coated every spot of her love canal with huge smears of Rainbow’s cream, absorbed moments later by her greedy, parting cervix.

Rainbow’s jerked her hips on and on until she passed from shooting huge bursts to just a mere trickle, an afterthought of semen. Eventually, she was down to just shooting blanks and rubbing her exhausted and sensitive shaft, so hard inside of Pinkie that her muscles ached and quivered, telling, no, begging the pegasus to stop before her dick fell off from exhaustion.

In the end, she slurped out of her lover, her flaccid dick leaving a small trail of sperm still tethered between their sexes. Pinkie’s walls gurgled and spat out some of Dashie’s white cum, just to make some space. The pink pony’s legs turned to jelly and she passed out on the bed, still moaning from the warmth of her friend’s semen inside of her. While the pegasus basked in the afterglow, she could see a pink shadow gaining back some strength and crawling to her side, resting a bubbly pink head on her chest.

Her heart swelled with a tender feeling as she covered Pinkie’s exhausted, little face with small kisses. Her giggles were so small and restrained that they could hardly fill the void that her now spent fervor left. It felt so calm, even too calm, but still it felt...right. Something real and absolutely natural happened between them and, just as the Sun makes place for the Moon, she felt her adorable fillyfriend’s laughter again.

“I think I—I think I love you, Dashie," she chirped with what little strength that still dwelled in her chubby pink body. Even her sweet smile felt a little strained from the fatigue. “No wait, scratch that: I definitely love you.” She kissed Dash’s cheek.

“I love you too, Pinks,” she answered without hesitation and regrets, “I really do. You were amazing, like totally.”

“No, Dashie.You were! I just stood there getting pounded by your thingy!” She giggled wildly while the pegasus suffered a ferocious blush.

“P-Pinkie!”

“What? Now you want to be all shy and prudish? Maybe you need another slice of my pie...” Pinkie replied with a sultry grin, her hoof lightly brushing over the curve of Dash’s exhausted member. Pleasure shanked her mind and that primordial feeling that engulfed her higher function came knocking back at her door. “But maybe you feel tired down there?”

“Well, heh, maybe if you give me a few more minutes—”

“Waitwaitwait! I almost forgot!” Pinkie Pie slipped out of her embrace as she ran to the corner of Dash’s bedroom. She opened the saddlebag with a quick stroke of her teeth and grabbed with the same their ‘surprise’. A moment later Pinkie Pie returned with a massive plastic black cylinder, holding it in her mouth like a dog.

Dash’s heart stopped and she could feel her marehood dripping in anticipation. She could see some leather straps hanging from its base and she understood its purpose that made its way through her mind like a sharp knife though a cake.

“You made me a real mare, Dashie Washie, so I’ll return the favor.” She harnessed the straps around her crotch and positioned the plastic shaft in front of it with a series of sharp, fluid movements. It shone in the moonlight and looked almost like a second tail sticking out diametrically opposed to Pinkie’s first. She stood on her hindlegs to let Dash admire her new equipment.

“Aaaaw, yeah! Come here you pink menace, you! Don’t tell me that you got that at Twilight’s?”

“Yup!”, she happily nodded.

“Well, I didn’t know that our favorite egghead was this kinky, but—don’t get me wrong it looks cool—but what’s so special about it?” Rainbow Dash didn’t have the time to even finish her sentence; shock and awe filled her mind.

The pegasus stood in surprise as she saw a purple hue enveloping the black obelisk and shaping its form until the plastic melted away to reveal underneath a real, flesh and blood member attached to the pink pony, who shook lightly of delight. She panicked and tried to blabber something, but the words slipped away from her mouth and one by one were substituted with only one: cock.

“Are you feeling well, Dashie? You look pale.” Pinkie returned on all fours and trotted to her friend’s side, but Dash could only see a massive tube of pink flesh dangling from between the unfazed pink pony’s legs.

She rolled on the bed right in front of Rainbow and rested on the side while her dick rested horizontally on the cloudy surface, just like a gross smear of pink paint with massive bulgy veins. Rainbow took a few moments to admire it and couldn’t help but feel a little...envious. Her girth and length exceeded hers of course, but there was something endearing in the way her flare bulged outwardly, forming like a delicate ring of flesh around its tip. She could almost already feel that ‘thingy’ pounding and rubbing her insides, make her cum from both ways like no tomorrow...But a more urgent question needed to be asked.

“You got that from Twilight, right?”

Pinkie nodded with a huge smile.

“Why would Twilight, and let me emphasize who we are talking about, have something like that?” Dash asked in the most polite and still incredulous way she could.

“Wish I knew. What do you think was the first thing I asked her? But, well, she didn’t want to say it and babbled something about field research or something, but I knew there was something fishy about it. But since she’s my friend I didn’t insist. Would you want to upset your friends?”

“Well, no, at least when it isn’t funny.” Her eyes wandered on and off Pinkie’s shaft and she finally knew how her friend felt when she revealed her secret to her. Penises are kind of hard to not look at. No. Impossible to not look at! “Doesn’t it feel a little strange?”

“Not really, no. In fact, it’s feels quite good. Especially when I’m looking at you. It’s already so stiff!" Pinkie watched with absolute glee as her stallionhood twitched in the general direction of Rainbow Dash, like a huge, black and tubular beast smelling its prey. Pinkie poked it and giggled wildly, leaving the pegasus amazed at how quickly she had adapted to it. She's had hers for a lifetime and sometimes she still got a little surprised whenever she looked at it. Then, she calmly crawled toward the pegasus’ flaccid black shaft and stuck out her tongue on it, keeping a sheepish grin, while it danced on its surface.

“You know...Probably it’s a stupid question, but don’t you want to try i—” Before she finished the question, Pinkie Pie was already on her back, her penis standing up and stabbing the very sky...and hopefully soon a very horny pegasus that started floating with her legs spread just above the voracious tip.

“Whoa, Dashie! You’re fast.”

“Tell me something I don’t know.” They both laughed at that while Dash kept flapping her wings and brushing her pink slit against Pinkie’s flesh, struggling to not let herself be entranced by the electrical jolts that slithered on her sensitive pink treasure. It felt...weird. And uncomfortable, too. Like some kind of tickling sensation that grew from her crotch and reached her chest to make a strange warmth in it. It wasn’t painful, just plain weird...and Dash begged for more.

She grunted and thrust herself on it further as her walls parted; the blue mare bit her as Pinkie’s bulging tip was sucked in. She felt a vacuum inside, a cold, all sucking void that pleaded to her senses to be filled with more candy cock. She pinned her forehooves on the bed at the sides of Pinkie’s head and planted a small kiss on the pink pony’s forehead as she let herself being fully penetrated, her crotch falling and sucking in that beautiful pink stallionhood, her own penis reacting with joy with a small trickle of cum that flew out from her tip, conjured only by arousal and wishful thinking.

Pinkie squealed and laughed, “Wow, you feel so soft!”

She was. Pinkie Pie’s dick slid in with ease, even passing the strong, stoned muscles that the pegasus just discovered she even had down there. It didn’t hurt much, but was still something she wasn’t quite prepared for and she tried to ignore it, focusing on the wonderful pressure it was making inside that finally drowned that uncorfomtableness with perfect, absolute pleasure.

A quick slick and in a moment Rainbow knew how it was to be fully and utterly penetrated. She bucked her hips downward and Pinkie’s shaft kissed her right on the entrance of her womb, making the pegasus gasp and grunt for more. It didn’t hurt anymore as the force of her need to rut the almighty fuck out of the pink pony was stronger than lightning, spurring her to ride her pink friend like no tomorrow.

Pinkie Pie grabbed Dash’s buttocks, firmly, with her hooves as she mounted the pegasus with glee making nice contrast with her vibrant laugh with Rainbow’s moaning as she shoved her party stick in her cunt.

Dash was ecstatic, of course: thanks to the pink pony she finally realized her dual natures as the stallion’s boiling orgasm was already resting inside Pinkie Pie and she still could see small droplets and globs of semen being squeezed out of her pussy as she ravaged her with strong, piston like thrusts, making her blue flesh quiver and tremble. Pinkie’s acceptance of having that mare plumbing tool between her legs was one thing, but already she was an expert in sinking it in a mare and even moving it around to drill that missile of flesh deeper into the pegasus.

It was something Rainbow found tremendously hot.

In the lust induced haze and spraying of her drool, she lowered her eyes towards her belly. She saw see a small bulge slowly growing there, as she felt the sheer passion of the pink pony filling her body and mind, while her own member rose again in full might.

Her mind wandered on how it all started and she felt so small. Well, small compared to the pink pony: her leaner, athletic figure was a body built for speed and durability, but still felt like a twig, only naturally snapped by Pinkie’s plump figure and even plumpier dick. She could’ve sworn it was getting even fatter as she slammed it inside her.

Pinki kept moving her hips like a possessed mare, and Rainbow saw herself instinctively thrusting forward to let her dick flay in the air before the pink pony stuck her tongue out to poke at her cockhead. “Hmmm! Still juicy!”

She bucked and bucked, mixing laugher with ferocious moans until even Pinkie fell silent and her pupils widened as a giant, crazed grin appeared on her face. Her shaft widened too, and WHAM: the pink pony released with violence her magical load. Dash could feel the torrid liquid washing up her insides, the coziest sensation she had ever felt. Her muscles clenched Pinkie’s member tighter than ever, even hurting a little, as she draw more and more of the mare's cum inside herself, dousing her very womb in Pinkie Pie’s creamy goodness. Dash’s upper part collapsed on top of the pink baker as she was filled with the final reserves, just like when somepony draws some small flowers of whipped cream around a cake to make it look fancier.

“Whoah,” she said flatly as sticky globs of fatigue oozed out of her mouth.

“Whoah indeed, Dashie.” A pink hoof stroked her polychromatic mane. “You know, now I’m the one who feels a little tired. Does it ever end like that? I mean, when you feel like goo after you have shot your jelly?”

“He he, kind of. You’ll get better the more you do it.”

“And we have plenty of time, right?” she replied with a soft smile that slowly turned into a sultry, albeit exhausted, grin.

“Totally, Pinkie. All the time in the world...” The comforting darkness enveloped her as the forelegs of Pinkie Pie gripped her in a loving embrace, which she returned with all the force that still dwelled in her exhausted blue hooves.

“I love you...” she whispered, and the happy giggle of the pink pony followed, the best companion she could have hoped for on her journey to the land of dreams.

***

“Oh my gosh, Dashie! What are you doing here?!”

Rainbow’s magazine screamed, or at least it looked like it did until she lowered it to reveal a pair of terrified blue eyes. Showered by the annoyed and disapproving looks of Nurse Redheart’s other patients, she was kinda tempted to pretend to not know the pink pony, but that would have been cruel and quite meaningless.

“Well, I'm waiting. That’s what you do in a waiting room...”

“So am I! But, wait, are you feeling sick, Dashie?” She bit her hooves as fear tinged her words and her lower lip trembled.

“Nothing serious, Pinks. Don’t worry.” She patted her curly head with a comforting smile, “Just a bit of nausea and some headaches. It’s nothing too big, but I thought I needed to take a look.”

“Funny. I came here for the exact same thing, but the Nurse said I had to wait a couple of days for the analysis. When did it start, Dashie?”

“Just three or four weeks ago. I can’t remember. Maybe I’m just working too hard these days.”

“Funny.” Pinkie gave a pensive look and put a hoof under her chin, “I started feeling like that around the same time.”

“Uh. That’s curious...”

“You know what means, right?”

Dash shook her head, confused and surprised. Her mind wasn’t totally there, but she scoffed at that feeling, preferring not to think the worst until she heard the opinion of an expert...or until Pinkie finished to squeeze her ribs.

“It means we are soooo much in tune with each other! But seriously, we should limit this to only good things, like when I feel so happy when I gorge myself with delicious candies or when you pass by at my place to send me a heart shaped cloud or when—”

Dash blushed furiously, but still felt a sense of happiness and pride for the affection she was receiving. The heartwarming and embarassing moment, though, was swiftly interrupted by the Nurse sticking her head out the door of her office.

She cleared her voice and looked at the pegasus, “Miss Dash, the results are ready, so if you want to come in—” She looked surprised at Pinkie Pie. “Oh. I see there’s Miss Pie, too. I have some news for you both."

The two made their way into the office as the Nurse sat behind a desk and nervously adjusted some papers. She turned toward the two as she finally found the sheet she was looking for in the drawer and, with an unexpected and sincere smile, said: “Well, the results have spoken. You’re both five weeks along. Congratulations, both of you!”

Of course, the Nurse’s smile and Pinkie’s grin made a cold contrast with a blue pegasus that stared into the void with abject horror. Her wings almost dropped to the ground as the pink pony tried to shake her out of her trauma induced stupor.

“We really need to talk with Twilight...” she muttered, unheard by everypony but Pinkie Pie that slowly turned her smile into a grimace that matched Dash’s.

Author's Note

Dun-Dun-Duuuun! My quest for a cover artist continues, by the way.