Twilight Removes A Tax Disc

by ScooterFiction

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Comedy
Length: 1166

Its tax season, and Twilight has to remove the tax disc from the sheet of paper. Perfectly.

The time has come for Twilight to re-tax her non-existent car, and she's got to remove the tax disc perfectly. Can she manage it?

A one shot quick thirty minute story that came to me when removing my Tax Disc. Those things are impossible to do perfectly.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-07-02 17:30:02 UTC

Twilight Removes A Tax Disc

“Spike! Spike!” Twilight called loudly from the library, focusing intently on the piece of paper before her.

Spike ran into the room,  huffing and puffing. “Wha...what is it Twilight? What's wrong?” His eyes were drawn to the table, where he saw the slip of paper before her. He let out a sigh. “Oh no, it's not that time of year already, is it?”

Twilight nodded. “Yep, Tax disc season! Now come on Spike, you're best at this. But try and do it better than last year, okay?”

“What do you mean by that? I did great last year!”

Twilight sighed. “Oh, you mean great; as in, tore the entire sheet of paper up!? We had to get another one, and that cost me a month's worth of bits!”

“Alright, Alright! I'll try and do a better job!”

Spike hurried over, peering down at the sheet of paper, a red circular disk sat in the middle of it, surrounded by perforated holes. As he examined it, he saw two of the perforations had already been torn. He looked up at Twilight, who avoided his gaze.

“Did you try to do it yourself again? You know how that turned out last year.”

Twilight blushed and rubbed the back of her neck. “I just thought, maybe if my magic was slower, it might work!”

“So, what went wrong?”

Twilight levitated it into the air and brought it close to their faces, pointing to a small section of the tax disc. “Look, the paper fibres around this perforation are weakened! It nearly tore Spike! It nearly tore, and we would have had the same result as last year!”

Spike shook his head and snatched it from Twilight's spell. “Come on, you hold it down, I'll try to cut around it.”

Twilight levitated it onto the table and kept it firmly in place. Spike lifted his left hand up and folded his fingers away, exposing his sharpest claw. He looked up at Twilight's worried face, and set to work. His claw inched closer and closer to the paper finally resting between two perforations, poised to tear through the paper. He started moving his finger slowly, towards the first one.

“Careful Spike, careful....”

His claw got closer and closer, soon the friction and resistance of the first perforation was at hand. Before he knew it, he was through, the paper tearing successfully. Twilight let out a cheer and clapped her hooves together.

“Nice work Spike! Just another fifty to go!” Twilight cheered, and focused her spell again, making sure the paper didn't move.

Spike moved towards the next piece to tear, when there was a knock at the door. His claw jerked and juddered, edging towards the side of the paper. Twilight let out a gasp, and quickly levitated Spike away from the paper, snatching it all into the air where it remained safely. Once she caught her breath, she was quick to chastise Spike.

“Spike! You nearly ruined it again! Go see who's at the door, and I'll check it for damages!”

Spike fell to the floor with a thump, before standing up, rubbing his head. “Oh it's fine, stop being such a perfectionist Twilight!”

He walked to the door and opened it, to see their friends stood outside.

“Hiya Spike! Is Twilight in?” Pinkie Pie cheered, bouncing into the room before Spike had a chance to stop her. “Hey Twilight, what's going on?”

Twilight looked up at her friends and levitated the paper for them to see. Their faces all instantly turned to a frown.

“No...It cant be, not already, surely?” Rarity spoke up, her face aghast.

“Yep. It is. Tax disc season. Now you're all here, you can help cut it out!” Twilight said, placing the disc back safely onto the table. Her friends exchanged nervous glances, looking for Spike, who was already in the distance, running for safety. Twilight let out a sigh, and yelled after him, her cries falling on deaf ears. “Spike! Come back here!”

“Err, listen sugar cube...I know y'all like help with this, but what good am I, just a rotten old earth pony with none of that fancy magic to help? So, I'll just let myself out!” Applejack said, quickly backing towards the door, when it slammed with a purple glow.

“Nope, you're here now! And I need your help! Applejack, you can help hold it down, Rarity you can take one side of the paper and I'll do the other. Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, you're in charge of collecting stray bits of paper.”

Pinkie Pie beamed and bounced closer. “Oh, oh oh! What about me Twilight? What can I do to help? I've never done a tax disc before, I bet it's super easy, let me try!”

Twilight looked up at her and faked a smile. “Oh, why, err you can go fetch Spike for me!”

Pinkie frowned and moved closer, nudging Twilight as she tried to focus. “Come on Twilight, surely I can do something? Oh! I could like, sing a song about tax discs! That'll be super motivating, right?”

Her friends shot her an evil stare, and she slunk back to the front door. “Fine....I'll just wait here, and watch.”

“Good, now lets get started. We ready?” Twilight turned back to the piece of paper, only to find it was gone. “What? Where is it!? Who moved the tax disc! Quick, someone find it!”

Twilight quickly levitated the table into the air, while her friends frantically searched for it on the floor. Fluttershy flew into the air and checked on top the bookcases, while Rarity and Applejack looked under all possible objects, without any luck.

“I can't find it up here Twilight....” Fluttershy said meekly, peering on top of the bookcases.

“It's not here either darling!” Rarity added.

“Well, where is it! It's got to be somewhere!” Twilight said. As she did so, they heard a faint sound of ripping.

All eyes turned to Pinkie Pie, who was sat by the door, focusing intently on her hooves.

“Almost got it, just a little bit more here and.-”

“PINKIE! NO!” They cried in unison, but all in vain.

“-Done!” she cheered, hoping up into the air. “Here you go Twilight, one tax disc cut out!”

She trotted over happily and handed it to Twilight, a picture perfect circular hole was in the middle of the paper.

“Heheh, that was easy! You guys sure made me believe it was gonna be hard to do!Well, I'll go find Spike now, and tell him the good news!”

Pinkie bound off out the door, leaving them all flabbergasted. They all looked at the paper, not a single tear out of place. Twilight looked at it pleased.

“Errr...Where's the actual disc?” Rainbow Dash added.

Twilight's eyebrows raised suddenly, and her eyes darted to the door, where Pinkie had been sitting. There, laying on the floor was a shredded pile of red paper.

The tax disc.

She inhaled deeply, and cried out, “PINKIE!”