Lewis of Equestria

Chapter 10: New World, Same Old City

The bad news just kept coming. Celestia sighed, levitating yet another scroll before her, already knowing it would be one more problem cropping up in yet another unexpected corner of Equestria. She had to get to the bottom of it all! There was no way these were unrelated incidents. It was rapidly approaching the point where she just wouldn't have enough agents to handle all the developing situations.

There came a knock at the ancient, finely carved mahogany double doors to the throne room. "Who could that-?" she muttered to herself, and then louder said, "Please come in." What came through those doors made her drop the parchment in surprise. Luna entered, followed by the strangest creature that Princess Celestia had ever seen. It wore a large hat and boots of a matching black color, a plaid shirt and jeans. It was built in a vaguely similar manner to certain kinds of apes, but that was where the similarities ended. Just to complete the oddity of the situation, one of the most gargantuan ponies that Celestia had ever seen came following after. Taught muscles showed under his white coat. She recovered her composure, placing the message neatly back on the stack.

"So," she said with a welcoming smile, "You must be Lewis then?"

Lewis nodded in deference. He recognized by instinct one who was far older and wiser than himself, in spite of her youthful appearance. "Yes ma'am, and mah thanks fer yer hospitality."

That earned him a more sincere grin. Celestia liked his style. He was polite, but not without his rough edges. It wasn't enough to make a real judgment about the quality of his character, but he was making a good start. "And that would make you Bourbon then?"

The giant grunted in an affirmative-sounding way. She got the distinct impression that he was less than thrilled to be there, and decided not to push for further direct conversation.

She turned to Luna. "Since they have come here willingly, Lewis and Bourbon can explore Canterlot, on three conditions. First, Lewis must be disguised properly. To that end, I have this," she said as she produced a long cloak. "This cloak is enchanted, so don't lose it." She levitated the garment into Lewis' hands. "While you wear that, you will appear to any pony passing on the street to be nothing more than an ordinary earth pony. It will not change you in any real way, only how other ponies perceive you. It should be sufficient to allow you a degree of anonymity." Lewis bowed, grateful for the gift.

"Second," Celestia continued, looking at them both sternly, "under no circumstances are either of you allowed to reveal your nature or origins. We aren't ready to make that announcement just yet, although I promise you that, so long as you do no harm to my subjects, the day will come when you can walk undisguised among us. Until then, the truth of your existence is a matter of national security." Both Bourbon and Lewis nodded their understanding.

"Third," she said, and at this she softened, "You will need a guide. Luna, take the evening off and show them around town. Have fun."

Luna grinned. "Thank you Tia, I will." Celestia noticed how her sister glanced at Lewis. She suppressed a giggle.

"Alright then. If it would be alright, could you two excuse me and my sister for a moment? I would speak with her in private." The duo trotted out, leaving the co-rulers of Equestria alone.

"Tia? Have the samples revealed anything?" Luna asked in a worried tone. Celestia sighed and shook her head.

"It's the same as the others. The contaminants are powerful, and no flora or fauna that I've found has any resistance to them. Whatever it is, it’s like nothing we've ever seen before, and I don't know where it’s coming from!" She trotted over to the window and looked out over Canterlot. "I'm certain there is a connection to the recent outbreaks of new diseases, but I don't see what that could be. At least Canterlot hasn't been affected yet, although there's no telling how long that will last."

Luna hated to see her sister so distraught. "Sister," she said, "I keep telling you, let me help."

Celestia smiled back at Luna. "You are helping Luna. You’re taking care of the situation with our new guests." Her smile grew a teasing edge to it as she added, "and don't think I didn't see how you looked at Lewis. He's quite handsome, in an exotic way. Yes, go have fun tonight little sister." Luna bolted from the room, her cheeks hot as she blushed.

"Thank you Tia!"

Celestia chuckled and turned back to the missive she had been studying. It was moments like that which made being a ruler bearable.

Trusting in her elder sister to handle any crisis that arose, Luna was relaxed enough to feel ecstatic. She didn't dare study the reason for her good mood, deciding to simply accept that spending time with Lewis (and Bourbon she forced herself to think) was exactly the break she needed. Lewis and Bourbon were waiting for her outside the throne room. Lewis was examining the cloak he had been given. "Well," said Luna, "Let’s have you try it on."

Lewis shrugged and donned the cloak. Then, he was gone. In his place was a simple earth pony with a dull brown, easily forgettable coat, with the image of his boots and hat as his cutie mark. In every way, this pony was made to be another face in the crowd, anonymous and unremarkable. The pony looked at Luna. "Did it work?" Luna smiled.

"Of course! When my sister does enchantments, they always work. I don't think she's had a spell backfire on her yet."

Lewis looked down at himself, but could see no discernible change. He saw his hands, his body was its normal shape, and he didn't feel any different. He would have to take Luna's word that it was effective.

Bourbon looked him over and shrugged. "Looks and smells like Lewis to me."

Luna nodded. "Yes, well you've known him too long and have a familiarity with him that nopony else does. It isn't meant to fool anypony that really knows him, just random passerby, and convince him that he isn't worth much attention. It only works on me because I allow it." Her horn glowed, and once more, Lewis appeared to her as he was. "I can see you normally now."

Lewis grinned. "Well alrighty then. Time for a little exploring."

Luna couldn't remember ever having more fun. True, she and Bourbon attracted attention as a royal princess and a giant, but the high society ponies of Canterlot were too polite and snooty to actually make it obvious they were looking. Luna never much cared for the informal aristocracy of Equestria, captains of industry, movers and shakers, they might have had power but that didn't prevent them from being boring. The more beautified garden district near the palace was full of such ponies, but it was not the part of the city that she wanted to show them.

They passed through it quickly, and made for the merchant quarter. It was here that she had made previous forays from the castle, although before she had gone in disguise. Now, she entered in her natural form, well and safely escorted she could tell, as Bourbon took up a place at her right while Lewis walked at her left. "Before we begin a proper tour, I want to make a stop," she told them.

The crowds parted ways to let them pass, although Lewis tended to get jostled and bumped into, and few of the offenders bothered to respond. "Just like city folk back home," he said, nursing the bruise from a particularly nasty blow caused by somepony swinging a heavy shopping bag about too carelessly. She hadn't even glanced at him before continuing on her way.

The shops, however, were fascinating. Trinkets, treasures, food and art from every conceivable corner of Equestria were sold on the streets of Canterlot's merchant quarter. Naturally, the shop keepers put out their best wares, waved and called energetically as Luna passed, knowing a high-value customer when they saw one, but Luna passed over many of the major shops, and they soon gave up. They wended their way through several back-alleys to find a small antiques shop, well hidden and seldom frequented. It was here that Luna stopped.

As she led her companions inside, a kindly-looking old mare trotted out. Heavy around the middle and running gray to white in the mane, she was still perky and glad to have company. "Why hello dearies," she said, "Welcome to Boggy's Bottom-Price Antiques! How can I-I-I-I-I." She had begun to skip like a broken record when she took in her new visitors. The Princess of the Night, and the biggest stallion she had ever seen in her life! She didn't notice the small fellow that stepped in after them, for what pony could matter in the presence of such majesty and physical power?

Lewis was unsurprised at the effect on the poor shopkeeper by the appearance of a princess. What shocked him was when Luna chuckled and said, "Mrs. Boggy, don't you recognize me?" She didn't have to rub it in did she?

"Oh-oh-of course milady," said Mrs. Boggy, "Everypony knows of your return. I just don't see why you would come here to my humble shop. . . ."

"Hah! Humble? The best collection of old curios in Canterlot? Surely you jest! This is my favorite shop in town. I've been coming here for months," Luna said this in an intensely amused manner. This drew confused looks from both her companions and the shopkeeper.

"But milady, I never-?"

Luna forestalled her with a hoof. "I never came before as I am now. Always in the guise of a young filly." As she spoke, her body changed, shrinking down and sucking her wings into the flesh of her back. Within moments, a small unicorn stood where the princess had been.

Mrs. Boggy looked down at the filly. "Lil' Moontide? You mean I've been selling my antiques to a PRINCESS?" Her voice grew shrill as the shock became too much for her, and she seemed ready to faint. Lewis stepped forward and offered her a shoulder in support.

"Thank you young sir," she said when she had recovered, "That gave me a bit of a fright." The old mare turned back to Luna, whom was herself again. "Well now, I suppose I have to ask; if you were coming here in secret, why show yourself now?"

Luna stepped forward, and shocked them all by nuzzling Mrs. Boggy affectionately. "You've been so kind to me. I came here looking for some hint of a long-passed age, and instead I met you. You were kind to me and helped me to recover a sense of self out of the wreckage left by my time as Nightmare Moon. I want to give you something in return."

She stepped over to the front window, producing a small brass-handled rubber stamp. She used this to mark the window. Lewis recognized the design, having seen it in the palace several times.

Luna turned and addressed Mrs. Boggy. "This shop is hereby endorsed by the royal family. It has my formal approval as Princess and Co-Ruler of Equestria."

She smiled warmly. "You talked to me about your business, and I know times have been rough. If this doesn't help business to pick up, nothing will. And I so love coming here, I want to see you being successful. The upper-class sycophants seeking to follow the trends of royalty will come here in droves."

Her smile took on a surprised quality when Mrs. Boggy grabbed her in a big hug. "Thank you. You'll always be my little friend Moontide here though." Lewis nodded at her with a thoughtful smile. Luna returned the hug, glad she had made the decision to help Mrs. Boggy. She just wished she could work out whether she had done it to help Mrs. Boggy, who really had been a source of support during the early, emotionally distressing months of her return . . . or just so she could impress Lewis.

The tour took them through the various districts of Canterlot, and as the day drew to a close, they found their way to the entertainment district. It was like stepping into another world, which Lewis found somewhat ironic given the circumstances. The streets lit up like the Vegas strip, everywhere ponies trotted excitedly as the nightlife began to rev itself up. Plays, performances, clubs and even one heavily regulated casino, all were open for business, and as Lewis put it, "Boy howdy business sure is boomin'!"

Luna felt a surge of pride. After all, the night was her domain, and it was here that the ponies of Canterlot celebrated it. The music, the lights strung up to resemble her stars, and the wild abandon in the air that made it all so exciting, combined to make it the most vibrant part of Canterlot.

However, she had brought them there to have fun, and they couldn't do that if everypony they met was entreating her for her royal favor. She changed once more, not into the filly from before, but merely a more toned-down version of herself, without the wings, and a full moon cutie mark. "Shall we?" she said, gesturing.

Lewis and Bourbon got their first taste of Equestrian entertainment and couldn't get enough. The attended a performance by somepony named Elvis Prancley, an up-and-coming new rock-and-roll musician. Lewis found this hilarious for reasons that neither Luna nor Bourbon understood, and said nothing other than, "Every world needs one."

After this, they went and saw a play. It was entitled "Unbecoming Ponies," and while it was perhaps a bit on the lewd side, it certainly was worth seeing, centering around a trio of dear friends who, of all things, found themselves trapped in an world far from their own. Lewis found their leader, Max, to be an especially moving character. The action and drama were exciting. The romances were especially passionate, and had Luna blushing and stealing glances at Lewis, using her magic to observe him through his disguise.

As the night progressed, they were feeling exhilarated, but each of them needed to catch their breath. Luna suggested a nearby club. They had delicious and exotic drinks, and a pleasantly relaxing atmosphere. Lewis and Bourbon were delighted for a chance to take a break.

They went inside and secured a booth. After talking briefly, Luna handed a few bits to Lewis. "Go ahead and order three Happy Horseshoes. Trust me, you'll love them. If you excuse me, I need to use the little filly's room." Lewis eagerly accepted the invitation, and headed to the bar.

Bourbon was alone at the table for all of a few moments before he felt a hoof on his meaty shoulder. "Hey there big stuff. Thought your friends would never leave." Bourbon looked up and his lower jaw hit the floor with a thud as he beheld one of the most gorgeous mares he had ever seen.

Her light red coat and dark red mane followed the contours of a body designed for sex. He could feel the meat between his legs make a thump against the underside of the table as it stood erect. This caught the mare's notice. "Oh my, you are hot to trot tonight. Mind if I join you?" Bourbon offered no objection as she sat across form him at the table.

Meanwhile, Luna had finished powdering her horn, or whatever it is that mares claim their restrooms are for, and was about to head back to the booth, when she saw that Bourbon had gained some company. "Perfect," she said, "I'll have Lewis to myself for a while."

She turned to find Lewis when an obviously drunk unicorn stallion rather abruptly draped himself over her shoulders. "Hhhheeeeyyy thar' swee-hart," he slurred, "Howsabou you 'n me get outta here. Yer big boyfriend’s got other plans, and the lil guy ain't much of a pick." Luna sidestepped, leaving the unbalanced drunkard to fall to the floor.

"I'll pass," she said, disgusted. She looked across the bar and spotted Lewis. She was about to wave to him when she felt a sharp pain in the back of her head and fell to the floor. She lost consciousness as somepony began to drag her to the back exit.

Lewis saw Luna at the same moment she spotted him. He also the small flash of metal as the unicorn behind her used his magic to strike her head with a tiny ball bearing. Nopony else noticed as he and several of his friends half-carried half-dragged her out through the back door into the alleyway behind.

Lewis tried to remain calm. He caught Bourbon's eye, who had once again sensed something was wrong, although he hadn't seen a thing. The unspoken communication told the loyal quarter horse everything he needed to know. He excused himself from the booth, leaving a confused and hurt-looking mare behind. They headed toward the door.

Luna regained consciousness in a filthy alley, lying on a pile of rubbish. Over her stood five stallions, all leering at her with evil intent. Her head vibrated with pain, centering on a small spot on the back of her skull. She looked up and recognized the drunkard that had been slobbering on her.

"Well well well," he said looking down at her, still quite drunk, "Lookee at who's awake now boys, he he he." He kicked Luna in the side, making her double up in pain. "Wha's wrong cutie? Not feelin' so hot nomore, are ya?" The unicorn’s friends laughed, pity and remorse utterly absent in their expressions.

The ringleader bent down and grabbed her by the mane. "Well guess what? I still think yer pretty. An' ahma gonna prove it." As he said this, he forced her over on her back, legs in the air, and pressed her down. She felt something hard and fleshy slap her thigh.

Luna cast a spell to hurl the abusive asshole into the nearest wall with almost lethal force. Nothing happened. He didn't even notice. That was when she felt it. Her magic was . . . gone. The injury to the head, she was sure, was somehow responsible. Without it, she had no chance of fighting off this many opponents, and if she tried, she had no doubt they would hurt her far worse. There was nothing she could do. As the leader lined himself up, she prepared herself for the unspeakable ordeal. "Lewis," she murmured as tears began to pour down her face. She shut her eyes.

Then, the weight of her would-be abuser was gone, and she heard a scream of pain. When she looked up, there was Lewis, his foot firmly planted on the testicles of the unicorn, from whom the painful screams were emanating. "Are you alright?" he asked, looking utterly unconcerned at being completely surrounded. Luna couldn't speak yet, so she simply nodded. "Good, then I don't have tah kill 'im."

"Kill this fucker!" the battered rapist squeaked to his companions.

"I wouldn't do that," said a voice like a furious thunder clap. From the end of the alley came the comparatively enormous figure of Bourbon, every inch the manifestation of barely-contained violence.

The unicorn finally wormed his way out from under Lewis and righted himself, facing off with his gang against Lewis and Bourbon. The alley was a dead end, and the only way they could escape was past the two. By this time, the patrons of the club had noticed something happening, and a crowd was forming to watch. None of the onlookers got involved, however, unaware of the circumstances behind the impending tussle.

"Hah!" one of them exclaimed, "You think just the two of you are enough to beat us?"

Another chimed in, "You don't have good odds. Two ponies against five is bad news for you, even if one of you is a giant."

That tore the last straw of Lewis' patience. "True," he said, grabbing the edge of his cloak, "But how about a giant and a cowboy?" With the word cowboy, he flung the cloak aside, revealing himself. A wave of shocked whispers ran through the gathered observers at the sight of the strange creature before them. Some were fascinated, other's fearful.

"Ya'll think any part of this is okay?" he asked, "Yah think yer tough, all five of ya pickin' on one mare? Do yah find that sexy? Er is it just that no mare'll touch yah unless they're unconscious? Are yah proud a yerselves?"

"Shut up!" howled the unicorn, levitating the ball bearing that he had used on Luna and firing it at Lewis magically. There was a loud "PING" and then a puff of brick dust, as Lewis deflected the ball off the flat of his knife's blade, and it embedded itself in the wall beside him.

He sheathed the knife again, and reached for another of the rancher's tools hanging from his belt. "Bourbon, occupy the others for a minute, ah want the cocky fucker tah myself." Bourbon nodded his assent eagerly. Lewis wanted him to fight. He would have no trouble doing so.

As Bourbon tore into the four accomplices, Lewis and the unicorn circled each other. "What's yer name?" Lewis asked.

"Why should I tell you?"

"Ah like tah know whose ass it is ahm whoopin'."

His opponent braced to attack. "When they ask who killed you, tell them it was Brisk Brightlowe!" With that, Brisk lunged. Lewis neatly sidestepped him. By now, he was holding something in his hands, an elongated stick with two metal prongs at the end, and a switch on the grip. Brisk, knowing nothing about a rancher's tools, merely laughed at the absurdly flimsy-looking device. "You want to fight me with a funny-looking twig? Fine, freak. You'll find I'm tougher than that!" He lunged again.

"Are yah now?" said Lewis, his eyebrow raised. This time, as he sidestepped the unicorn, he brought the device up, resting its end on Brisk's nose. He flipped the switch, activating the hot-shot cattle prod and delivering an extended jolt of nine-thousand volts of electricity straight down the unicorn's face and into his head.

Brisk stumbled a few feet further, then moaned as his eyes rolled into the back of his head, then collapsed, soiling himself in the process. Lewis shook his head. "Asshole."

A few more jolts and some powerful kicks from Bourbon were enough to dispatch the remainder of the gang. Lewis turned to the assembled crowd, who suddenly fell silent as the defeated ponies lay twitching, at least two more in puddles of their own filth. "These ponies were about to commit an unforgiveable crime. There can be no excusin' their actions. Ah know ah look a bit different, and ah understand if ah seem scary to yah, but these five here are the only monsters in this alley."

There was a long silence. Then, the entire crowd broke into thunderous applause, cheering for the heroic alien and his giant companion that had so bravely faced the gang, whom as it happened were already well known as scumbags, and wanted by the authorities on charges of several counts of sexual assault, battery and other crimes. Luna got to her feet, and walked over to Lewis. He faced her, and asked, "Are you alright Luna?"

As her disguise fell away, the spell finally wearing off, the crowd watched as one of the co-rulers of Equestria was held in the arms of an alien as she broke down and cried, sobbing her fear and relief into his chest.