No Place For a Hero(or steve the pony killer)

by noahthegardevoir

Rating: everyone
Tags: Dark, Alternate Universe, Comedy, Crossover, Human
Length: 806

hay-yoooo

when twilight ends up on pandora and kicks cl4p-trap in the face cl4p-trap sicks his buddy steve on her

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-07-03 21:15:30 UTC

heyoooo!

A flash of light was all cl4p-tp (or clap-trap)saw over skag gorge. "what the spincters! better go see what that was before the skags wake up." the small robot drove over to the huge hill that was over skag gorge. "oh god i hate climbing." as clap-trap climbed the hill what had caused the flash of light was having her own problems. "dangit pinkie pie i told you not to jumb out at me like that when i'm casting a spell" twilight breathed in and out "now what do you have do say pinkie- WHAT THE BUCK!" when twilight opened her eyes she saw not her home but sand, miles upon miles of sand. "ugh uggghhh" twilight stop when she heard a noise from below her "um hello anypony there?". "anypony? don't cha mean anybody?" twilight sceamed when clap-trap spoke behind her, and she bucked him in the face. "AAAAHHH! oof! ow! oof!" clap-trap rolled(?) off the hill and twilight ran for her life "hey you dumb pony you broke my speech systems! oh god damn does this sting" clap-trap drove back to his house to fix his speech systems "I will get you purple horny pony thing, oh yes I WILL GET YOU! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" clap-trap drove to the neerest town to talk to his buddy steve who would be in the slugnut bar. as cl4p-trap entered the bar he took notice of all the people inside: they where of course humans, some had robotic limbs in place of missing ones, they where of course drunk, and every one of them had guns, guns, and more guns. in the back sat steve, who waved to clap-trap and said "hayoooo!" clap-trap sat next to steve and asked him to find twilight and kill her "hayoooo?" clap-trap stop when steve asked that " steve it's a pony with a fucking horn on it's head! it sticks out more then a skag in a snow storm!" steve got up and walked out of the bar starting the hunt. "yes purple horn pony you will pay, MWAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH!" everyone in the bar then yelled "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

7 weeks later

for the last 7 weeks twilight was been shot at, beaten bloody, had her horn cut off, and  twilight has a feeling she's being hunted by one of these psychopaths "oh sweet Celestia what is wrong with this place?" twilight fell to the sand below her and then she heard someone singing "this ain't no place for no hero to call home" twilight's eyes widen "that's what's wrong here, this place doesn't have anyone to save it!" twilight shot up from the hot sand "if i can get home i can get the others to help me bring harmony to this place! it's the best plan!" twilight ran to the nearest town she stop when she saw someone in a odd looking machine. the man got out of the machine and walked out of it and said "heyooo." he pointed to his machine and to an unseen town 79 miles away "you want to give me a ride in your machine?" twilight thought why is he is nice a everypony is so evil? "heyooo" he picked her up and pt her in the back. steve fired up his rider and told the pony "heyooo" and he drove off to the middle of nowhere"hummm why are you only saying heyo?" the pony looked confused why he only said heyo. -5 hours later- "heyoooo" steve took the pony out of the back of his rider "are we there ya-wait where are we!?!?" twilight was confused why they where in the middle of nowhere and what was he grabbing? steve grabbed his shotgun pistol "heyooo!" he turned twilight around pointing his gun at the back of her head. twilight turned around to face him "what are you do-" BOOM! steve looked at his handy work, a large hole in twilight's head removing her face and the back of her skull "heyooo!" steve walked back to his rider just as a pack of skags showed up. the skags showed no haste a they started eating twilight's dead body.

---------------------------------------------------------at the bar with cl4p-trap-------------------------------------------------------------------------

cl4p-trap was snoring(?) after getting so drunk(?) waiting for steve to kill that purple horny pony "heyooo!" cl4p-trap jump up and srceamed "holy sweet spincters! AAAAAAHHHHHH!"

No Place For a Hero

after the fight steve gave cl4p-trap the two buds where walking (or driving in cl4p-trap's case) and talking "so steve how did the pony hunting go? cause i really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really" oh god audio loop, was what cl4p-trap was thinking about now "really really really really really really really really really really" oh god please make it stop "really really really really really