Cold. A chill spread through her body, frosting over her moist eyes. Ice gripped her every muscle and froze them solid. She couldn’t move.
She couldn’t breathe. Her lungs were firm as stone, her mouth fused in an eternal grimace. She couldn’t speak.
She couldn’t see. The darkness was so absolute that she had begun to doubt the existence of anything. She didn’t believe in light, or life, or love.
She didn’t love. She wasn’t loved. She wasn’t.
And she began to doubt that she ever was.
Luna awoke with a gasp. She tore the sheets off of her and fell out of bed. She ran as fast as she could to the window and threw the drapes open. Light poured through; blessed, blessed light.
Her chest heaved as she felt the warmth of the sun on her face. Her cheeks flushed as she took deep breaths in, ending the hyperventilation that threatened to send her into unconsciousness. She leaned against the window frame as her body relaxed.
The sights, smells, and sounds of a Canterlot afternoon drifted up to her chamber window. She could see the entire city from her perch as it lively bustled.
Lively, a wondrous word if there ever was one. She licked her lips as the scent of fresh bread reached her nostrils. Supper would be served soon, if she was reading the sun’s place in the sky right.
Thoroughly roused, Luna proceeded down the stairs and through the hall. Guards stood at attention and servants bowed as she passed, which she answered with a nod. She made her way to the audience chamber, where Celestia was currently handling affairs of state.
The courtiers and commoners had left the chamber some time ago, leaving Celestia alone with her work. A feather pen floated along in her telekinetic grip, scribing notes, anecdotes, and orders on the paperwork before her.
Celestia looked up with a smile on her face. “Luna, what brings you here so early?”
“I could not sleep,” Luna replied softly. “I needed to move about.”
Celestia looked her sister over, noting the bags beneath her eyes and the slouch of her shoulders. “Have you been sleeping well?”
“Well enough,” Luna said. She sat down next to the throne her sister was seated on and leaned against the hoofrest.
Celestia placed a hoof on Luna’s shoulder. “Are you alright?”
“I had…” Luna pursed her lips in a moment of preparation. “I had a dream. It was about the moon.”
Luna looked up to find Celestia frowning. The Princess of the Sun sniffed sharply as her breath caught in her chest. “What happened?”
“I was back,” Luna murmured. “I was back on the moon, alone.”
Celestia dismounted the throne and came alongside Luna. “You don’t need to worry about that anymore, you’re not alone.”
“I know, Sister,” Luna said. “I know it in my mind, but…”
Celestia gathered her up in a warm hug, which Luna accepted gratefully. They held each other for a precious moment, until Luna whispered in Celestia’s ear, “Some wounds haven’t healed yet.”
They parted, and Luna made her way to the garden. “It is nearly sunset and moonrise, Celestia.”
Celestia followed her, nodding slightly. “I will see you at supper, then?”
“Yes,” Luna answered. “I will be along as soon as the moon is in the sky.”
Luna walked amongst the flowers of the garden as the sun set slowly in the west. She found herself staring at the red sky, smiling a loving smile at the warm glow. The sun sunk beneath the horizon, prompting the stars to appear.
With her sister’s task complete, Luna flew into the sky, her horn glowing. A bright light appeared in the east as the moon took its place in the heavens.
Luna shuddered as she touched the celestial object. Its cold, but not quite uninviting, feeling was unnervingly familiar. A memory flashed in her mind, the dreams returned in a flash. She pushed forth, raising the moon as hastily as she dared. In minutes it was over, and the bare-faced moon sat high in the firmament.
She drooped, her strength spent. She glided to the balcony with her eyes downcast. She trotted silently beside her sister as they made their way to the dining room. She said nothing during the meal, letting Celestia take care of the nobles’ questions and concerns. She was ignored, save for the occasional worried glance from the other princess.
After the meal, as they departed together, Celestia turned to Luna. “Would you like me to stay up with you tonight?”
“No,” Luna shook her head. “As always, I shall guard the night.”
Celestia nodded. She touched Luna’s shoulder lightly. “You shall guard the night, but you needn’t be alone.”
“For the time being, Celestia,” Luna sighed, “I feel that it is best.”
Luna entered the tallest tower in Canterlot Castle, the watchtower. From its height, the entirety of Equestria could be seen. Its enchanted windows provided insight into each city under her protection, and the looking glass to the side could observe anywhere in the world. A bell hung from the ceiling, ready to summon an entire garrison of soldiers.
Luna sat in the center, her watchful gaze passing from window to window. The final hours of the day were busy. Ponies rushed home from work, finished last-minute projects, and played “one final game” as the stars sparkled overhead. Luna smiled as their activities were illuminated with artificial lighting, that amazing invention that filled the night with activity long before she had returned to Earth.
Luna winced as if from a physical blow. If only she had waited just a few years more… If only she would have stood firm… Trusted…
Trusted Celestia to help her.
“Please, Mom! Just five more minutes!” the voice of a filly echoing through a mirror brought Luna back to her senses. She couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped her throat at the little girl’s antics. “I don’t wanna go to bed!”
The princess shook her head. It never failed, no matter what generation it was. Children didn’t want to waste the precious night in bed, they wished for adventure. They wished for adventure so much, it manifested in their imagination. The wish became a dream.
Sometimes fun, mayhap sad, often confusing, more often than not silly.
But always beautiful.
Luna’s eyes closed as the sounds of life around the country slowly died down. The deepest part of night arrived, the quiet that was nearly deafening. The silence that reminded her all too much of the isolation.
Her horn glowed. Her eyes opened, shining pure white. She drifted off into the ether, the land where dreams are born and live out their days. She hovered over the firmament and watched as the sleeping ponies danced, played, and worked in their personal bubbles of unreality.
Her gaze drifted over the adult ponies, who would consider her appearance in their dream a personal intrusion. Their dreams mixed together in a twisted approximation of the real world, their worries and wants painting a picture ranging from their ideal life to a nightmarish tumult of horror.
The children danced, sang, played, discovered. They lived life to the fullest in their hearts as well as in their daylight. The dark shadow of fear was felt occasionally, but soon found itself swallowed up by the love the children felt.
Save for one heart.
Luna flowed to the shadow, her eyes searching for the source. No, Fear, she thought, you will not find a foothold while I protect this land! Her presence focused on a particular foal’s dream, a stormy night in the middle of a roaring ocean. She shot down, her moon appearing through the dream’s overcast sky.
She landed on the deck of a decrepit ship, its sails torn to shreds and its hull leaking. She nearly lost her footing as the boat rocked to the side, the waves intent on capsizing the vessel. The cry of a filly reached her ears, a filly she recognized as the child from the window.
She raced along the deck, her hooves clomping dully on the wet wood. A moment’s searching led her to the girl, a young pegasus with a purple mane and cream coat. She was hidden in the rolls of a long, coarse rope.
“Come forth, little one,” Luna coaxed. “I will aide you.”
“No!” the filly screeched. She buried herself further in the rope, hiding herself from the world as best she could. “Daddy! Daddy, help!”
A jolt sent Luna staggering to the other side of the ship. She flapped her wings frantically to keep from falling into the churning waters. She ran back to the filly, her heart pounding. “Please, child, I mean you no harm! I shall protect you!”
The filly looked up at Luna with moist eyes that had nothing to do with the pounding rain. “I’m so scared.”
“I know.” Luna knelt by her side. “I can help you face those fears, but you must ultimately defeat them on your own.”
The filly gaped. “But… but I can’t!”
“You can, and you will,” Luna smiled. “I know you will.”
Lightning struck the mast, shattering it into dangerous shrapnel. Luna’s horn glowed, projecting a shield. The sharp shivers bounced harmlessly against her magic, and Luna placed a hoof on the filly’s shoulder. “You must brave the storm to face what you truly fear. Peace will only come when you overcome it!”
“I… I…” the filly stuttered as thunder crashed. “I’m not afraid of you. I’m not afraid of you!”
To answer her challenge, another bolt of sheer power struck amidships. It tore through both the upper and lower deck, rending the boat asunder. Luna grasped the rope in her mouth and grasped the filly with her long legs as their boat-half tipped into the drink.
A horrific sound emanated from the frothing waters below them. An enormous shadow rose from the abyss, the personification of fear. Tendrils of magic flowed around the ship like the arms of a mighty octopus, searching for the two ponies caught in the nightmare.
The filly cried out desperately, her wails only just rising above the cacophony of the storm. A tentacle of darkness was blasted into inexistence by a blast from Luna’s horn. Another grasped at her leg, but was kicked off into the void. The girl screamed again, “Daddy! Help!”
To Luna’s surprise, another pony appeared beside them. He was a soldier, from the looks of his armor and weaponry. His spear shone in the lightning of the storm, and his armor sparkled in the rain. He gave his daughter a devilish grin and flung his spear into the heart of the monster.
The light of hope in the filly’s eyes faded as his leg was grasped by the unfeeling hand of fear.
The stallion roared as he was dragged backwards into the darkness, his hooves making deep furrows in the deck of the ship. “Save him!” the filly shouted. “Save my daddy!”
Luna grasped at the soldier with a free hoof, one that was easily in reach of the failing warrior. To her horror, her hoof passed right through him, as if he wasn’t even there.
Luna gasped. She could not touch him because he wasn’t there. He was a part of the dream, a figment of the filly’s imagination. The girl sobbed as he was dragged towards the nightmare. “No, Daddy! Don’t leave me! Don’t leave me!”
Luna hugged her tight. Tears stung her eyes as she watched the stallion struggle one last time before succumbing to the dark pulls. If a shadow could laugh, that would have been the being of fear’s reaction to its victory.
“Don’t leave me!” the girl cried. “Don’t go…”
Luna experienced an epiphany. This filly was experiencing something much stronger than fear. She was in the throes of despair.
The princess’ mouth moved as she tried to come up with the right words, the proper words to express what she wanted, needed, to tell the filly. “Child, listen to me.”
The filly looked up from her weeping, her sobs still wracking her body. “Listen, you are not alone.”
Luna held her close, even as the nightmare crept around them. “You don’t have to face life alone, Dearest. You have so many who love you and care for you.”
The girl tried to push Luna away, to allow herself to be taken by despair. Luna refused. “You have a mother that loves you; you have friends who will stand by your side.” Luna glared at the monster as she continued. “This pain you feel, it is only temporary. It is temporary and you do not have to face it alone.”
The filly looked to the darkness, her eyes glistening as she stared into the abyss. Luna grasped her head and turned the filly to face her. “Alula, I will be by your side. I will not, I will not, I will not abandon you. You have my word.”
Alula shot one last glance at the nightmare. She turned back to Luna and buried her face in her chest. “Thank you!” Her tears soaked Luna’s fur. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”
Luna turned a stern gaze on the darkness as she rose into the air on her wings. He eyes glowed white as she called the power of the cosmos unto herself. “Creature, you have no power here amongst the love felt by this filly…”
The moon burst through the clouds, sending piercing light down upon the now-powerless demon. “BE GONE!” she shouted. “BE GONE FROM THIS PLACE OF LOVE AND HAPPINESS!”
An unearthly scream tore through the dream, tore into the dream, tore the dream apart. The fear beast exploded in a blaze of silver fire, its prey protected by the Royal Pony Sisters.
Luna knelt beside the filly, her hoof placed comfortingly on her shoulder. “My daddy…” Alula hesitated. “My daddy’s not gonna be there when I wake up, is he?”
“I’m sorry, Child.” Luna hugged Alula close. “Some things cannot be fixed, but they can be healed.”
Luna ran her hoof through Alula’s hair. “You must share your grief with others, or it will overwhelm you. Others will listen; they will help you bear the burden.”
They stood in the empty space between dreams for a long while. Luna could feel Alula’s breathing slow down as she neared wakefulness. The filly turned to her princess with a sad smile. “Th-thank you, Princess Luna.”
A nuzzle, a sigh, a murmured, “I love you, Princess,” and Alula faded away.
Luna gaped at the spot where the filly had stood. She blinked in confusion, before the meaning of the words entered her heart. “Oh, Child. I love you, too.”
Luna awoke next. She was still amidst the mirrors and bells, in the tall watchtower. She gazed at the horizon to see that it was near morning. Her eyes turned to the balcony overlooking the garden, Celestia’s room. She could see her sister moving around within.
She flew down, unease striking her features. She trotted to the window and knocked, surprising the alicorn within. Celestia opened the window and smiled in surprise. “Luna! Good morning, are you well?”
“All is well, Sister.” Luna bowed her head. “I wanted to ask you something.”
“Of course,” Celestia said. “What do you need?”
“May we…” Luna hesitated. “May we lower the moon and raise the sun together?”
Celestia didn’t so much as hesitate. “Of course, Dear Sister, of course we can.”
That day, Luna slept soundly, her dreams filled with light and love.
Because on that night, that dark and horrible night, something special happened.
On that night was Luna loved.
Author's Note
Companion piece to Celestia Wept. Another foray into the realm of emotion. Let's see if I can do this right.
