The first light of morning had yet to stretch over the small town of Ponyville when a large, colorful train chugged into the station and blew a long whistle before screeching to a halt. With a hiss, the doors slide apart and released the stale air trapped inside with the fresh, brisk breeze of dawn.

Inside the train, an orange mare stirred from her comatose like slumber, her head throbbing with the pounding hooves of a thousand stampedes. Attempted to escape the chill of the early morning and the harsh sound of voices around her, she buried her muzzle deeper into the chest of the purple stallion lying next to her.

She continued like this for several moments, before suddenly growing incredibly stiff and snapping her eyes open.

I woke, startled by the mare's movements, and nearly yelped in pain as my head pounded for unknown reasons. I then opened my eyes to assess my location.

I expected to be back in the interrogation room, or perhaps a torture chamber, or really, anywhere that wasn't lying in a flat cocoon in a small room next to an earth pony who was slowly removing herself from my embrace, her pink cheeks contrasting her orange fur. I attempted to reach out to my sister and question her on my current circumstances of waking, but a shout from somewhere behind me broke my concentration as easily as a bite from Mother would shatter a traitor's leg.

The pony lying next to me had almost removed herself from my embrace when I turned my attention away from my thoughts and back to her.

"Why are you sleeping with me?"

She yelped and fell backwards out of the bed, apparently not noticing my waking until I had spoken. When she fell, she pulled a sheet with her and was wrapped in it. I watched in idle amusement as the fabric morphed into different shapes while the frenzied pony attempted to removed it from her body.

It took her a few moments, but eventually, she was able to stand up and indignantly brush her unkempt mane from her face.

"I asked you a question, pony, it would be most wise of you to answer," I told her.

"Erm, hey there, Silver..."

She knows my name!?

I wracked my mind for memory of this pony, but through the pounding and apparent lack of memory of the night before's events, I was not able to distinguish her as anything special, "And who might you be, addressing me like my equal?"

She raised an eyebrow for a short moment before a look of realization dawned upon her face. "Oh Celestia, why did I think it was a good idea to drink with the socially awkward stallion I just met?" she muttered to herself, but failed to say it quiet enough to escape my hearing. "Uhm, sugarcube, it's me, Applejack. You know, the one you sat next to on the train, and ate dinner with, and drank with?"

The apple part did ring a small bell somewhere in my mind. But the memories continued to escape me. "Actually I do not know." I corrected her.

She sighed and rubbed her head. "Look, just, come with me, lets get off the train and get some Asprin. I haven't had a hangover like this in, well, ever."

She turned tail and moved towards the exit where many ponies were either saying farewell or greeting friends and family. I didn't bother to follow. She was halfway to the exit when she noticed I wasn't behind her.

Her shoulders raised and fell in an exaggerated sigh as she turned back and walked up to the bed. "You're not gonna follow me, are you?"

I allowed silence to answer her.

She sat back on her haunches and blew a strand of hair out of her face. "Ok, sugarcube, do you remember anything from last night?"

I once again remained silent.

"Do you have any idea who I am...?"

I searched my memories one last time, and surprisingly was able to locate a name.

"Applesnacks, correct?"

She hit herself in the face and slowly dragged her hoof down it.

"So, you mean to tell me that you poisoned me with alcohol to the point where I was delirious and physically unstable, for enjoyment?!" I yelled.

"Well when you put it like that, it doesn't sound like much fun at all!"

My migraine stung with each shouted syllable, but I wasn't about to let the pony get away with such insolence. "That's because there's nothing fun about poison- Well, at least, not when it's used- actually, poison is always entertaining -in the first place! And now, my head feels as though it were going to implode upon itself!"

"Well sorry for trying to make friends with the lonely pony sittin' by himself on the train! You could at least be a little grateful to me!"

"Grateful?! For trying to poison me and usurp my throne?!"

"Again, it's not poison! And what in tarnation are you going on about now? You're not a King, sugarcube!"

Not yet you lowlife.

"You're disgusting," I turned away from Applesnacks and headed for the doorway, but my path was blocked by a very curious looking filly. With my back turned to Applesnacks, I flitted my tongue out and drew it across her face, leaving a wet trail behind it. She looked up at me in surprise, so I made my eyes glow dark red and drew my fangs out, hissing quietly, before resuming my march to the exit of the run down shack Applesnacks called home. Traumatized for the rest of her short life.

"Well now where do you think you're goin'?" Applesnacks ran in front of me and stood in my path. "We're not done here."

"I believe we are," I moved to push past her but found her to be surprisingly steadfast.

"No we ain't. Alright?" she glared at me, and I returned the favor. "First of all, you're gonna fix the door handle you melted with your magic for no reason at all . Then, you're gonna take some Aspirin. And then after that, you're gonna help me remember, uhm, somethin', from last night."

"Make me."

One swift kick to the genital area and another to the head later, I was trying to forge a new door handle for Applesnacks' house from the melted remains of the original.

Sheriff Silver Star was busy recounting one of his epic escapades to a group of young mares when he heard a distant galloping. He excused himself from the group and headed to the edge of town to greet what he assumed was the buffalo stampede coming through the orchard.

When he reached his destination, however, he was surprised to see not buffalo, but a small group of ponies, rather, charging toward the town. Suspicious of ponies coming in from the desert, he started walking to cut them off and meet them outside of town.

When the party came to the sheriff, they circled him. The sheriff responded by placing a hoof on his newly issued flintlock pistol.

"What business you got in Appleloosa?"

"We're lookin' for a changelin'. Big one, silver mane. Heard you got him, we want his head."

The sheriff narrowed his eyes at the white stallion. "And how do I know I can trust a buncha' bandits come ridin' in from nowhere."

"You got the changelin', or not?"

"I asked you if I could trust you."

"You're alive, no?"

"Prove I can trust you."

The white stallion glanced at the red bandit to his right, who nodded affirmation. With a flash of green, the changeling transformed back into himself and shook his wings out.

"You're still not dead," he said to the sheriff, "We're hunting him. He's a fugitive. Queen Chrysalis sent us on this mission herself. Delaying our progress by being uncooperative would raise tensions between your little town and our empire. I advise you cooperate."

Silver Star's first instinct was to blow the insects head off, but knew that if he attacked he would quickly be overpowered.

"How do I know you don't kill me as soon as I tell ya?"

"If we were going to kill you, sheriff, you would be dead already," a younger looking yellow 'stallion' barked.

"And if I don't help you?

"You die. It will take longer but we shall catch the fugitive."

"...he escaped," Silverstar informed the changelings after a short pause. "My deputy is workin' to catch 'im. You wanna find that sonofabitch, you gonna need Breaburn's help."

Blasted ponies and their blasted doors with their blasted knobs and their blasted social protocols.

I was standing over the almost complete door handle, straining with all of my crippled mind to bend the final piece of metal into place, when I heard a high pitched battle cry sound from behind me.

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS MONSTER HUNTERS!"

I lost my concentration, bending the metal out of place, as three projectiles slammed into me from behind and sent me tumbling over. The three projectiles proceeded to yell things such as "DIE, DEMON PONY" and "HIT HIM IN THE FACE" as they repeatedly hit me with sticks.

Demon pony, that could work.

I jumped up, sending the three fillies crashing to the ground around me. I quickly glanced around for other ponies. We were alone. I lifted them each with my magic upside down in front of my face and held them there.

"Demon Pony, you ssssay?" I imitated the hiss of the desert demons. "Whatever makessss you think that...?"

The three fillies eyes widened with horror as my skin flaked away and my eyes started glowing dark red. "You think that sssssuch a nice pony like Applessssnacksss would have more hospitable friendssss." I leaned closer to the one with the bow and flicked my tongue over her eye. She screamed, causing my head to explode in pain, and as if that wasn't enough, it was split immediately after that by the unfortunately familiar bolt. I dropped the ponies, and was barely able to reapply my disguise before I blacked out.

"Hey Dad, can I ask a favor?" I said as my body approached a human sitting and looking at a strange, moving picture.

"Sure, what's crackalaken, Jimbo?" The human didn't take his eyes off the picture box.

"Dad."

"Yeah?"

"Never say that again."

The human looked at me. "...fine. So what did you need?"

"A ride."

"Where to?"

"Jessica's house, she wants me to meet her parents."

"Which ones that?"

"There's only one, Dad! Amanda and I broke up four days ago, Jessica's way better than she ever was."

"Didn't you say you loved her?"

"Past tense. She got... Clingy. Wanted to always be together, she even mentioned marriage once.. Come on, let's go."

I awoke to the sound of Applesnacks' voice shouting "-he's not a demon! Why in Equestria did you even think that in the first place?"

"Really, Applejack!" Applejack? I can't believe ponies can't even remember each others names. "He got all red eyed and his skin was coming off! And he licked Apple Bloom's eye! And her face earlier!"

"Now girls, this is just gettin' ridiculous. If you're worried about it, no, we are not dating Apple Bloom. He's just a stallion I met on the train, you don't have to try and protect me. And do you really expect me to believe his eyes turned red and his skin started peelin' off? Really?"

"No, Applejack, really, believe us! He's a monster in disguise!"

"Yeah, just like The Olden Pony, huh? Real monster that turned out to be."

This is tedious. I should leave.

"IT'S MOVING! RUN APPLEJACK!" three voices shouted in unison as I picked myself up.

"Shush!" Applesnacks glared at the three fillies until they shrank back. "Hey, sugarcube, sorry 'bout that, the girls, uh, well, to put it simple, they think you're a demon."

I laughed. "What a nonsensical notion!"

Applesnacks started laughing with me. "Well, I'm glad you can see the humor in it." She turned back to three fillies who were eyeing me with distrust. "Now, waddya' have to say to Mr. Silver?"

The one with the bow whined, "But Apppleeejaaaaaaaaaack, we're serious!"

"I asked you. What, do you have, to say?"

The one with the bow pleaded with her eyes, but Applesnacks gestured with her head towards me. Tedious. I started walking away.

"We're sorry Mr. Sil-HEY! He's running away!" the purple haired pegasus shouted when she looked up and noticed my absence.

"Runnin' away? You three, go, now, out of my sight."

Please don't follow me. Please don't follow me. Please don't follow me. Please don't follow me. Please don't follow me. Please don't follow me. Please don't follow me.

"HEY, WAIT UP!" ...damn...

I reluctantly stopped and waited for the orange mare to catch up. When she did, she cut me off again. "Look, I'm real sorry 'bout the girls. Don't take it personally, they don't know any better, and they just wanted somethin' to do. Celestia knows why they decided it was a good idea to attack you with sticks and knock you out. Just, they didn't mean nothin' by it. Now come on back, I still haven't given you any aspirin to help with that hangover."

She started back towards her house, but I put a 'hoof' out and grabbed her shoulder. "Applesnacks."

She tilted her head. "Applesnacks...?"

Is she really this impossibly stupid?! "Yes, you, Applesnacks."

"My name's not Applesnacks."

"...what?"

"It's Applejack."

"...since when?"

"Forever."

"..."

"Applesnacks," she rolled her eyes. "I shall be leaving."

"No, wait, Silver, look, if it's about the girls, they don't know any better! They was probably just bored, they didn't mean nothing by it!" Applejack explained while cutting me off another time.

I sighed. "Are you going to let me leave?"

"Not until I get you some Aspirin. And I'm still gonna help you make some friends."

"Why?! So you can force me into manual labor?"

"You melted the door handle! You don't melt other ponies door handles!"

Note to self: No melting door handles.

"What even is Aspirin?"

"And you don't even know what Aspirin is!" she proclaimed, exasperated. "Honestly, are you sure you live alone? Because there's no way someone like, like you, would survive ten minutes on their own! You had a hard time even remembering your own name on the train!"

"Are you implying that I am unintelligent?" I growled.

"And there you go, using big words and talking like your Royalty! You're like Twilight, but, even more, Twilight!"

"Twilight as in Princess Twilight Sparkle, the Element of Magic and the third unicorn to ever ascend to the ageless bodies of alicorns? The pony who defeated both Nightmare Moon and Discord the Chaotic wielding the Elements of Harmony along with the five other bearers? You're acquainted with Twilight Sparkle?"

"As a matter of fact, she's one of my best friends."

"Then, that makes you- no, that's not possible. Appplejack, the Bearer of Honesty? You must be jesting! The quote on quote 'incredibly strong' Element Bearer is a, a dirty farm dwelling, lowlife? When I was told farm, I assumed a lavish estate with servants! Not a stupid young mare with an old wooden cart!" I started laughing and fell to the ground, clutching me sides. "Please, please, please tell me you're not the Applejack," I gasped both for breath and in pain as my head continued to throb.

A hoof stomped, inches from my face, into the ground. I was startled, and stopped laughing. I sat up and wiped a single tear from my eye.

"Now listen here, Silver. I tried to make friends with you because you was lookin' lonely, I forgave you for being rude countless times over a single night and day, I offered to introduce you to not only my brother, but also my five amazin' friends. I've been nothing but kind to you, and all you've done is mock me. You're gonna apologize, then, you're gonna get off my farm."

I looked up at Applejack. She was glaring at me as though if she concentrated hard enough, she could bore a hole through my head. I smiled at her. "Aw, Applesnacks, did I finally get to you?" She ground her teeth together. "I'm so very sorry, sugarcube" I sneered, waiting for her to attack. She didn't. "Well, I've apologized, have I not? Farewell then!" I laughed and turned, one last time, away from Applejack, who was staring at the ground, shaking with what I assumed was either anger or frustration. Or both.

"One more thing."

I guess I'll humor her. I stopped and cocked an ear.

"Last night, when we were both drunk, when we went to bed, did anythin', happen?"

I rolled my eyes. "A lot of things happened that night, apparently. Be specific."

Applejack took a deep breath. "Did we, or did we not, uhm, you know, do it?"

I sighed. "I could maybe help you if you told me what you are wondering whether or not we did."

I glanced back at her, her cheeks were pink. "You know, like, we woke up spoonin'..."

"Correct, it appeared as though we did. Now spit it out, I'm waiting to leave."

"Didwehavesexornot?" she stared down at the ground.

"Really? That's your big question? Did we have sex?"

She didn't look up, just continued to stare at the ground.

"...maybe." She continued to tremble and stare at the ground. I started away.

Now, how in the Hive do I get to Ponyville from here?

The red pegasus thoughtfully rubbed his chin. "Well, now that you mention it, there was this one pony, pretty tall, grey mane and purple coat. I remember him 'cuz he just dropped a big ol' coin purse and left."

The deputy looked back at the group of stallions behind him. They all nodded affirmation. "Where was he headed?" the deputy of the town questioned.

"Well, lemme think here... I think.. In the morning..." the white stallion standing behind the deputy impatiently tapped his hoof.

When the teller continued to think for another minute, he cleared his throat loudly. "Listen, Mr...?"

"Fare, Fire Fare."

"Mr. Fare," the stallion said. "This is a matter of national Equestrian security. I am agent White Heat of the EIA. That purple pony is a rouge agent set upon destroying everything that the Royal Sisters stand for. That includes Canterlot, Appleloosa, and everything in between. The longer we have to wait, the further away from us he gets, and the closer he gets to putting everypony's life in danger. I'll ask you again. Where did he go?"

"Uhm.. It might've been," Fire Fare stuttered. "Ponyville! Yeah! That's it! I think..."

"Six tickets to Ponyville, Mr. Fare." White Heat demanded and dropped a rather large coin purse in front of the teller. "Leaving the platform in no more than five minutes."

"Seven tickets," Breaburn corrected. "I'm going with, this cha-" White heat jabbed Breaburn in the side. "-this pony needs to be put down."

"Alright Deputy, good luck!"

Fire Fare exited the small ticket box and ran over to the conductor of a small train that was restocking at the town. After a quick discussion and a transfer of money, the teller ran back to the group. "He said he'd take you, he's just gotta get enough coal for the trip before you leave."

"Excellent. Now, before we go, Mr. Fare. I need to make sure nopony, and when I say nopony I mean nopony, ever, gets word of this, understand?"

"Yes sir, Agent Heat!"

As they moved towards the train that would take them to Ponyville, Breaburn whistled. "That was some quick thinkin'. Secret agents, destroin' Canterlot, the EIA. You're a good liar, aren'tcha?"

"It was barely a lie at all"

Blasted heat, I've been wandering around for hours, I am sweating like a pig, and I have not even reached the edge of this detestable orchard! I walked to the base of a tree and slumped down beside it. Why did that stupid pony not tell me which way to go?

I lay down underneath the tree and stared up at the dead branches. As I had wandered, there was an increase in dead, brown trees accompanied by a decrease in live ones, which I attributed to Applejack and her inability to do anything right. Not only were her trees pathetic and shriveled, but they bore no fruit, and I was hungry.

I thought about continuing my walk through the maze of trees, but decided instead on meditating, after all, if I didn't every once and a while I would go insane. Changelings constant connections with others can cause them to lose track of what's theirs and whats another's memory, name, even body. However, as I retreated deep into my subconscious, I couldn't help but be caught up in the strange visions. The 'humans' looked like easy prey, with soft pink flesh and no claws or fangs. I wondered what they tasted like. Perhaps like ape, they seem similar in body shape to chimpanzees. When I find one, I shall have to try it. If it is anything like chimps, it should be delicious. Huh, listen to me, or rather, look at me. Lost in an apple orchard, starving, and chasing a creature down that I have only ever seen in random visions. Tempest probably thinks I am going feral... I probably am.

A bolt of pain took the momentary mental silence to sear its way through my head. I gritted my teeth, and an image imprinted in my mind as if on my retinas. A box. A blue box, that on the front read in a language I had never seen yet somehow could read, 'Frosted Flakes', with the subtext 'They're grreeeat!' and a picture of an tiger standing on it's hind legs. Eventually the pain faded, and I examined the box some more.

...I should probably just meditate.

I rose up from my mind and from the ground simultaneously as an ominous boom echoed overhead. Time to wander aimlessly until I reach a landmark... I wish I could just- I hit myself in the forehead, then shifted, trading my horn for a pair of hole filled silver wings, just so that is something saw me, they wouldn't assume I was the first male alicorn ever, although the prospect of being worshiped and loved by every pony in Equestria didn't seem all that bad. I would never have to hunt again. I lazily beat my wings, creating a soft buzzing. I rose into the air, past the tree tops, and about 20 feet above that.

Nothing. Just trees and hills. And trees. And a blue projectile with a rainbow streaking out behind it rocketing towards me.

Might be edible. I moved to intercept my potential meal. I greatly underestimated it's speed.

The impact was painful. I could practically feel my newly crafted internal ribs cracks. It was the blasting through tree branches and the slamming into the ground with a fully grown pony on top of me that really hurt though, tearing new, unnatural holes in my wings and gouging deep gashes in my back as we slid several feet.

Finally, we came to a stop as I slammed my head on a large boulder jutting out of the ground. I moaned.

"OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH!" I felt the weight pull itself off of me. "OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH," the female voice continued. She suddenly grew silent, and I felt a hoof prod my shoulder, which was apparently dislocated, because it hurt like tarturus and I gasped in pain. "OHMYGOSH YOU'RE ALIVE! I'm so sorry, I didn't see you when I was flying cuz you just popped outta nowhere and I was no 'NO I GOTTA STOP' but then I was going to fast cuz I'm training to be a WonderBolt cuz it's always been my dream but to be one I gotta do a lot of training so I was flying really fast and I did a sonic rainboom which is this thing where I go super fast and Twilight says I break the sound barrier and that's why it makes a big noise and- and oh my gosh I'm so sorry please be okay don't die!"

I ground my teeth together, fighting back a scream as I felt a hoof roughly lift my tattered wing. "OHNOOHNOHONHO I RUINED YOUR WINGS! THEY'RE ALL THIN AND FILLED WITH HOLES!"

I wanted to shout at her, I wanted to attack her, I wanted to rip her throat out and drink the blood flowing from it. But all I was able to do was get to work slowly sealing the deep cuts on my back so I wouldn't bleed out.

"OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHWHATDOIDO? I can't leave him alone in the Everfree Forest but if I don't get help he'll die and I can't carry him cuz he'll just get hurt more!"

I opened one of my eyes and examined my prey gone predator. She was a light blue mare, with an odd mane that consisted of six colored stripes, one for each color of a rainbow. That explaines the rainbow. She was also very muscular, she didn't have bulging muscles, but was instead very lean. She looked quite delectable, to be honest. No fat to worry about, just lean plot to sink my fangs into. Or my reproductive stinger.

"YOUOPENEDYOUREYE!" she noticed me and yelled excitedly. "That's good! Good, now, uhm, blink once if you want me to stay with you and try to, uhm, fix you, or twice if you want me to go find help!"

I stared at her unblinking. "OHMYGOSH, ARE YOUR EARS OKAY?! IF YOU CAN HEAR ME," she leaned over me and shouted, "BLINK ONCE!"

Quit screaming you bloody fool! Mother, as if I wasn't in enough pain, you shall give me the umpteenth migraine today!

She was staring into my eye, looking for any twitches or attempts to blink. I blink, she talks to me more. I don't blink, she shall more than likely not stop talking.

"Ok, this is bad, this is very, very, very, very bad Dash. But you can do this," she said as she paced back and forth in front of me. "Just, gotta think of a plan. You can do that, Twilight does it all the time, and even if she is an egghead, she's not that much smarter than you. Just, think. Think. AAARGH," she stomped her hoof. "WHY IS THIS SO HARD!?"

"OHMYGOSH IDEA!" she suddenly jumped up and sped off into the forest.

Silence. Finally. I continued grafting the cuts on my back together for a minute before the pegasus burst through the foliage carrying pine branches.

"OK. I'M GOING TO COVER YOU WITH THESE BRANCHES, SO IF ANY DANGEROUS CREATURES COME ALONG, THEY WON'T SEE YOU!" she yelled before pulling a branch up to me and laying it across my body. By the time she had finished, I was completely buried in pine needles and the branches holding them. I closed my eye, pine needles were not on my list of objects I like to stare at while repairing my broken body and shattered bones. Only an idiot wouldn't be able to spot me, I'm surrounded by a pool of blood. "NOW NOTHING WILL FIND YOU, I'M GOING TO PUT A MARK ON THE TOP OF THE TREES AROUND YOU SO I CAN FIND YOU AFTER I GET HELP, OKAY?"I wonder if she realizes that yelling only increases the chances of my being found. "Alright Dash, so far so good, just find Twilight, and this guy'll be okay." I heard her grunt and the swoosh of wings, from the sound of it she didn't escape without injury either, as she lifted off and went to find somepony.

I give myself a one in ten chance of surviving this ordeal if the rainbow pony comes back. I continued to sew the sinews on my back together, although, from loss of blood, it was getting harder and harder to concentrate every second. After another minute, I was unable to continue repairing myself, and was forced to lie there as I continued to lose blood. It seems as though I'm going to die here. Detestable humans, luring me to a bloody, dishonorable death. Maybe I should just- With my last strength, I managed to change my wings to those of a pony. I would rather not have my corpse be danced on by ponies, as they would do upon discovering my true identity...

I sat there, wondering what death is like. Whether or not my mind could be preserved. Whether or not Tempest would ever conquer Canterlot. What that purple flash that penetrated my eyelids with its radiance far above me was and whose voices were descending from the sky. Perhaps Death, or God. If there is a god. No, that's not God, God isn't purple. Maybe Death is though. I felt a numbness as I was surrounded by a lavender aura and lifted into the air. Hello Death. Oh, look, Rainbow Pony is here too. She is crying. I bet she is crying because she knows that she will be banished to Tarturus for killing me. I hope that is why. OH. Look, white! Tarturus isn't white, oh, but Rainpony is here too. She is still crying. So Tarturus is white. All white. I rather like the decor. Especially the white pony. She has nice pink hair. I wanna look at it some more. But I'm so tired... I think I'll take a nap. Goodnight Rainpony!

Author's Note

27 days later. Or, something around 20 days, I just love that movie. And I still suck at coming up with names for the chapters. Related note: I'm not sure if I like this chapter, but it's been too long, I owe it to you guys to get this out before august. So, the day before is good enough I guess. Uhmm, lets see, oh right, I haz no edotor, so if anuone iz inerested un OK I can't even read what I just wrote. I edit my own stories, proofreading, all that good stuff, done by just myself, so if anyone is interested in helping me out, you'd get to read them before I post them, so, yeah, good stuff. And finally, thank again to everyone who's read, up-voted, favorited, and/or followed this story and me. Bia.