Trixie versus the Earth!

by Wafflegodman

Rating: teen
Tags: Trixie, Comedy, Adventure, Sex, Human, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Luna, Original Character
Length: 1576

Trixie has been through a lot... but nothing quite like this. A new world, a new body, and a new start... Trixie really couldn't ask for more... except maybe a pair of clothes.

Trixie has gained national... um... fame? I suppose more ponies would call it notoriety, but it really is quite relative if you think about it. Anyway, Trixie Lulamoon is known all across Equestria for telling the most fantastical tales, preforming the most incredible magic shows, and being the most self centered, power hungry, show off in all the land! Now, Trixie is all for the fame, but a mare has got to eat, and apparently ponies don't like to hire someone who managed to take an entire town captive, molest its citizens, and walk away a free mare without so much as an apology for punishment... someponies just don't know how to look past the surface I suppose. So, in order to start a new beginning, and find some actual freedom from her past, she has traveled far and wide to find... uh... just start reading already, would ya?

(Third person. Pony on Earth. A bit of warning, some parts may seem serious, but they are not. If you read this fic, and start to take things seriously you will either be offended, disappointed, or have the time of your life. This fic was made so I could have fun, and entertain others that like something a bit different than the usual HiE fics.)

Published 2013-07-04 00:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-07-04 00:20:02 UTC

Dear princess Luna...

Chapter 1

Dear princess Luna...

/)(\

A breeze blew gently across the endless plane that is the floating island of Eden. It is here, the very literal end of the world, where Trixie has found herself. She had woken up about two days ago... or was it three? Regardless of whether she has been conscious for the past two to three days, Trixie was starting to get a bit bored of walking around the island... so she sat down to think.

Lowering herself onto her rear, so she could still use her front appendages, she proceeded to cross her front legs, and stare upward in thought. She concentrated on what had brought her to this point. The countless magical shows, the effort put into training, and the absurd amount of disrespect that drove her to find a magical artifact that just so happened to be able to corrupt the mind of its wearer, manipulating the wearer it to commit insidious, or at the very least quite a bit rude, acts against ponydom. Yeah, that seems about right.

Trixie gave up trying to find a better reason for her actions, and instead, decided that cloud gazing would be a much more fulfilling course of action, it's not like she could get home now... or anywhere besides Eden for that matter.

Just when she was about to dose off, a giant creature appeared in front of her. It wore ragged black cloaks, if they really are cloaks, and appeared quite a bit... eh... threatening? Perhaps malicious is a better word. The point is, it looked scarier than a hydra with a toothache. So, being the refined mare Trixie likes to think she is, she flipped her shit, and took off in the opposite direction, almost reaching speeds that would make Rainbow Dash envious.

Trixie closed her eyes, lowered her head, and sprinted as fast as her legs would take her. She had almost ran off the island before a magical blast of... uh, magic! Yes, she had almost ran off the island before a magical blast of magic blew her onto her back. Trixie managed to get back on her hooves, and take a defensive stance, before the creature of pure malice reached her.

The beast took its time approaching her, moving slowly, presumably to scare off what little courage Trixie had left in herself. It was working. Trixie started to shake, her back legs gave way, and she closed her eyes tight, all while the monster moved ever closer.

"Hello Miss Lulamoon, how do you do?" a distinctive voice asked from behind the cloaking

Trixie opened her eyes, and looked on with awe as the beast lifted up its hood, revealing the innocent face of the Goddess of the night, and co-ruler of Equestria, Princess Luna... who wore a much to happy expression on her face for this moment. Seriously, she was just way too happy. Her eyes were closed because she was smiling so wide... it was like she enjoyed... no, she definitely enjoyed how much she scared the show mare.

"Princess!" Trixie exclaimed at the realization. "How dare you frighten the great and... um... how dare you scare Trixie." she stated, stepping closer to the princess with each word, and finally leaning slightly forward, a frown of somepony who might have been offended plastered on to her face.

"We are sorry oh great and powerful one." Luna said, putting on puppy dog eyes, and lowering herself so Trixie had to look down in order to look the princess in her eyes.

Trixie sighed, and looked off to the side. She then sat down so she would be eye level with the princess.

"So, what brings you to Trixie's aid?" Trixie asked.

"We always come to aid our subjects who find themselves in dire situations." The lunar goddess answered. "One thing confuses us though, how did you manage to get here?" Luna asked.

"Hardcore drugs, and a teleportation spell." Trixie answered.

Luna looked at Trixie for a short while, her expression slowly becoming more serious as the fact that Trixie wasn't joking became more and more apparent. Luna then noticed the drugs effects. Sharpened horn, and cat like eyes... that meant she had taken the two most dangerous drugs, at least for unicorns, that existed in Equestria. Luna opened her mouth, about to scold the mare, but then she noticed more appearance changes in the mare. True, the princess never actually met the mare outside of a show or two, but she had a very good memory. Trixie wasn't wearing her signature hat, and cape... in fact, they were nowhere in sight. She was also much more toned then before... all the fat she had a year ago was not present on her figure. She wasn't buff by any means, if anything she looked more feminine then before. And her hooves! Each one had a sharp edge, as if she was a filly again. It was all very odd for Luna to see.

"Why?" Luna asked.

"Trixie gave up." the small mare responded.

"You gave up?" Luna asked, a frown forming on her face, not out of anger, but out of sorrow.

Trixie stood up, and turned around, and looked out at the horizion for a second. The sun was rising... it was a new dawn. Then she turned around slightly, craning her neck to look at the princess, a small smile present on her face. She didn't look sad, nor did she look happy, she just existed... then she answered.

"Yep."

"..."

It was quiet. Luna didn't know what to say, and Trixie didn't seem to care anymore, the small mare just smiled, and looked at the rising sun.

"Trixie." Luna said, trying to get the mares attention.

"Yeah." She said, not turning around to look at the goddess.

"How would you like to leave this place?" Luna asked.

"Trixie likes it here. Ponies don't know Trixie here."

"There are no ponies here." Luna stated.

"Exactly." Trixie responded.

"What if we could send you somewhere else?" Luna asked.

Luna wasn't sure she was doing the right thing, but she wanted to see this mare happy. Also, this provided a very good opportunity that benefited herself aswell.

Trixie peeked over her shoulder, and looked at Luna. "Where?" She asked, her eyes narrowing.

"We don't know, however, we do know it will have sentient life, and that you will become that specie." Luna informed.

"Interesting... what's the catch?" Trixie asked.

"You have to become our student, and write to us everyday." Luna said.

"Yes." Trixie answered without even thinking about the proposition.

"Alright. Trixie Lulamoon, you are now our most trusted student!" Exclaimed, rising to her full height.

The cloaks Luna had been wearing disappeared, replaced by royal regalia. Her mane became... wonderful. No longer a dark blue, rather, it flowed, and looked like space... truly, it was enchanting. Finally, a small book, and quill, appeared.

"Dear Trixie, we present you with this diary. It has an endless amount of pages, and whatever you write in it, we will see. Not only that, but we can also write back!" Luna informed, giggling at the sheer joy she felt... she had been waiting generations for this moment.

Luna used her magic to float the book over to Trixie, who in turn took it with her own magic.

"Whatever you do, please don't lose the diary." Luna almost begged.

"Okay." Trixie responded.

"Alright, I hope to hear from you soon!" Luna exclaimed happily, all while she enveloped Trixie in her magical... magic... and threw her off the island!

Trixie screamed louder then she ever had before... for you see, underneath Eden is a giant crack called the Breach... and Trixie was falling into it.

Just when she thought she was about to meet her fate, the darkness enveloped her, and she fell unconscious.

When Trixie woke up, she was on a dirt rode surrounded by corn. She looked at her body, it was tall, slender, and ape like. You could clearly see the muscles under the skin, and she had two protrusions on her chest. She wasn't quite sure what to make of her situation, but she was sure of one thing, she wasn't on Equis anymore.

Author's Note

WWWOihrgpaoisndgopnaw! I'm so excited that this got done! I really hope you like this introduction.

Now, I know what you might be thinking, and it's "Dude, it only has, like, 1,300 words. Why are you so excited?" And here is my answer. I spent a week working on this, this is the first fic that I enjoyed reading as much as writing, and I have much more written, I just have to edit, refine, revise, refine again, and then edit some more, and then ... you get it.

Also, chapter length is not set... meaning that if it feels like a chapter, then I will end it, and begin another. Furthermore, their is no set dates for releases.

Props to Hokito-chan for the inspiration to keep attempting to entertain people... even if you aren't a brony... and probably won't read this... and didn't actually mean to inspire me...

Thanks to this guy for the map I was using when writing this chapter.

I can't wait to put out the next chapter! Here is a spoiler, there are boarding schools in the near future. Oh, and welcome to the heartland bitches!

Don't forget to comment!