Twilight Goes to a Record Store

by AppleBandit

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 3129

Twilight journeys to a record store in search of a new gramophone. Hijinks ensue.

Twilight Sparkle was having a wonderful day listening to records when suddenly her precious gramophone got knocked over! She now journeys to the music store in town to recover a new one and perhaps experience some of the new music the young colts and fillies are into these days.

Written as part of a challenge presented in The Writers Group found here.

Published 2013-07-03 06:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-07-03 06:30:02 UTC

Twilight Goes to a Record Store

Twilight was in her library, her purples eyes playfully running along the words before her as music filled the air. She happily bobbed her head to the electric symphony of synthesized beats and rising operatic singers as she delved deeper into the Daring Do novel. The needle ran happily along the grooves of the record, each revolution bringing more joyous noise. Twilight turned a page and found herself focusing less on her book and more on how brilliant this mixture of classical and electronic music was. It was like heaven pouring from the horn of her gramophone.

That was when the record skipped again and the music changed slightly, becoming an upbeat piece that Twilight suddenly felt the indescribable urge to tap a hoof to. The horns, the string, it all flowed together in such a jolly way that Twilight could find no better excuse to simply start dancing. The music took over her body as she began her one mare party. Thankfully she was alone, with Spike being away on royal business. The only other ponies that would see this display of pure joy and awkward flailing would be anyone who peered from the outside in.

She shimmied towards the gramophone, curious to see who the artist was. Picking up the dust cover, her face twisted a little in curiosity. A mix album by Vinyl Scratch? Twilight began to wonder how it got into her small collection as she continued the dance of her ancestors.

Suddenly, her flank smacked right into the table holding her precious gramophone. Time slowed to a crawl as she dropped the dust cover from her hooves. She did all she could to swoop in and catch the record player, but found herself too late. The gramophone tumbled wildly down and slammed onto the hard, wood floor. The old, wood casing shattered as vacuum tubes and electronic bits sprang spectacularly into the air.

Twilight could only watch in horror as the gramophone and record were crushed to pieces. As the destruction unfolded before her tear filled eyes, the needle that had once been skipping along the record like a filly in the park landed next to her; a discarded limb of what was once bringing her such joy.

She looked over the wreckage and felt a twinge of silliness. Certainly, she loved her gramophone, she’d had it for so long after all. But getting this worked up? Shaking her head she took in a deep breath and drew a foreleg to her body. She held her breath for a few moments until expelling not only it but her problems as well. It would simply mean getting to the record store and finding the same record and another gramophone. It’s not like either of them were difficult, right?

Twilight walked back to her Daring Do book and put a bookmark between the pages before closing it gently. From out of the corner of the room danced and bobbed a broom and dustpan shrouded in a purple, magical haze that swept up what remained of her old gramophone and record. Her saddle bags drifted out from the closet, coming to rest gently on her back. For good measure, she placed the old record cover into one of the pouches of her saddle bag. With everything cleaned up and tucked away neatly, she was prepared to head out into the world to get herself another gramophone.

She walked out into the town of Ponyville and felt the sun in her mane and coat. It felt magnificent. She smiled, soaking in every ray as she trotted lightly to the only record shop in town. Along the way she had a grin and a wave to greet everypony she saw, the tragedy of her fallen gramophone replaced with an otherworldly joy. It seemed like nothing could knock her off of the cloud of euphoria she walked upon.

Twilight soon came upon the rustic building of the record store. At first glance it seemed to be falling over, but to Twilight, that’s what gave it the charm. The hinges of the door creaked as it opened and the bell above the door sang, announcing Twilight’s arrival. Behind the counter, a stallion was styling his dark mane, combing it neatly as he could, giving Twilight a slight nod as he took notice of her. Twilight waved back with a bright smile and walked into the lines of the records.

Her gait was confident as she moved along the rows and rows of vinyl. She thought of her collection and briefly wondered if perhaps she should expand it while she was here. There were so many choices, surely there would be something here in this ocean of sweet symphonies and rocking riffs that would keep her hooves tapping until next spring. Certainly there was something here that would appeal to her.

Twilight found herself at the back wall of the store, browsing along a wide variety of hidden gems. There were artists like Stevie Neigh Vaughn and Pink Filly, along with other other artists she’d never even heard of, like Panic! At the Rodeo and The Pegasus Patrol. She had no clue where to start until a pair of headphones caught her eye. Beneath them hung a sign labeled in bold letters demanding she ‘Try out here!’. It was an offer she simply couldn’t pass up. Excitedly, she floated the headphones onto her head and pressed the button, wondering what new rapture would flow into her ears.

What came was strange. A guitar sounding like it was being wound around a tree and strummed. The singer wailed into the microphone as Twilight’s face contorted. She wasn’t certain what this was. There were drums, a bass, a guitar, a singer, but what was this music? It was odd to her, but she found herself nodding her head. Was this popular with the foals these days? She mused for a bit, wondering if her friends would like this music. The only pony that popped into her head that it would best fit was Rainbow Dash; this seemed more her speed. Finding herself at a dead end with her friend’s tastes in music, she hit the button, wondering what would come of it next.

It started with a piano, vastly different from what had been playing previously. The pace was slow, methodical, soulful. That’s when the voice came, making Twilight’s mouth drop. To her, it sounded like heaven opening up. The singer was backed by a choir, his voice rising before a whole band came in on a crescendo that made Twilight feel as though she were being lifted into the sky on a plush cloud painted with the red and orange rays of a sunrise. She swayed slowly to the rhythm, every word and note nestling in her brain and putting her at ease. With a sigh, she took the headphones off, deciding she could stay there forever, but it was best to move on and simply let it be.

She turned to the records in front of her and began tapping a hoof to her chin. Scanning along the artwork and interesting names of artists, she found herself almost drowning in choices. An album caught her attention with a picture of a cute cat drawn on it, looking very much like Rarity’s cat. She picked it out from the rack and inspected it closely. The title was simply “Cats on Mars” which made Twilight frown a bit. She wasn’t sure what a ‘Mars’ was exactly, but it sounded foreign. Maybe this would be cultural?

She floated it next to her as she moved to another line of records. Flipping through the stacks, she hummed to herself and skimmed along the records, waiting for anything to catch her eye. A strange album cover leapt out at her: stallion’s heads on top of mare’s bodies. Twilight did a double take simply to make sure she wasn’t seeing things. The cover itself made her laugh. Whoever did this album obviously knew how to have a good time. It seemed almost too perfect, almost as though it would have been both a tragedy and a sin not to have something like this in ones collection.

As the next record joined her selection, she turned to another rack full of new opportunities with a confident stride about her. She felt good about getting so many different records, that perhaps she would do something crazy. She stood before the shelf, flipping through it, ready to see what treasure would be waiting for her buried below. Her body continued to move to her own beat. She’d rarely ever felt so good, felt as though nopony in the world had...there was a word for it. She paused to try to think of what the word could be. Sway? Bluster? Flourish? Whatever it was, she felt like nopony had it like she did.

Upon finding nothing that suited her interested, she looked to the next rack of records. She practically danced to it, excited to know it’s secrets. Soon, a stack of five new records floated beside, each of them different in their own way. She may not even put them in her saddle bag when she got out in the street. Perhaps she’d float them around like a peacock; showing off her new music to everypony, with all the pride of a mother with her foal. The thought was quickly thrown out, the embarrassment of such a thing very much unlike her. Perhaps she would simply put them in her saddle bags and go about her day as she’d intended.

That was when she was reminded of the dust cover of her old record in her bag. She had intended on replacing it. Twilight walked to the counter, placing her new found music upon it. From out of her saddle bag floated the record she’d come for all along. The stallion behind the counter looked it over curiously before shrugging and pointing to a ‘new releases’ section beside the gramophones. It was almost too perfect!

She trotted over, leaving her gains behind for the clerk to watch. She looked to the gramophones and immediately halted in her steps. The price was like a slap in the face. Twilight opened her saddle bag quickly and peered into a small pouch of bits. It was nowhere near the amount she needed for not only the records but also the replacement. A somber feeling washed over her as she sat on the ground and stared glossy eyed at the wall of music players. Perhaps she’d been a bit too ambitious.

That was when it caught her eye. At the very top of the gramophone mountain, a tag that looked as though ages had passed since it was placed. Excitement took her, the price fitting perfectly with her budget. She bounded in place, cheering to herself until a second look made her realize why it might have been so forgotten. It seemed tightly wedged in between other gramophones. This was an issue; there had to be a way to get it down without causing an avalanche.
Twilight’s horn sparked and crackled with magic. A gentle purple glow surrounded the gramophone she’d chosen. Beads of sweat rolled down her brow as she began to slide it from it’s home carefully. What she hadn’t counted on, however, were it’s neighbors coming with it. Twilight quickly shrouded them in magic as well, trying to get the whole lot out, but as they came, the tightly packed group shifted.

Twilight gulped and surveyed her situation. Her review was, if nothing else, succinct. Everything felt as though it was going wrong. With a deep breath, the field of swirling magic extended further engulfing the entire shelf. With the row ensnared, she pulled them slowly, grunting and straining with every inch that they slid from the shelves down to the floor. That was when the stallion behind the counter took note of what was happening, the crackle of magic filling his ears. His eyes bulged out, watching an entire row of expensive merchandise drifting towards the ground. His eyes shut tightly, expecting to hear the soul crushing sound of wood snapping and glass tubes shattering. Hearing no such noise, however, he opened one eye slowly to see them all landing safely.

With a soft sigh, the magic dissipated from the line of gramophones and Twilight happily picked out the cheap one she’d seen. It looked a lot like her old one: the crank, the needle, the horn; all of it was nearly identical, much to her delight. She felt her long, long journey coming to a close in this search for new music and a replacement for her fallen musical supplier. Happily, she floated it next to her and proudly set it beside her purchases.

The accusing eyes of the stallion behind the counter caught hers as he pointed a hoof at the line of expensive gramophones still on the floor of his shop. Twilight grinned sheepishly, backing away slowly to the mess she’d caused. Suddenly, the top shelf seemed to be miles high. She stared at it, biting her bottom lip, hoping she could perform the same miracle twice. Expelling a breath, her horn lit up brightly. She would have to replace them carefully: any slip up would be a catastrophe. She only had enough money for the gramophone and the few records she’d picked out earlier. To replace the entire collection was an entirely different matter, and not a very appealing one. Even one hitting the ground would mean a distinct change in her eating habits for at least a month.

Grunting and huffing, she lifted the players slowly into the air. The stallion behind the counter watched in sheer, unadulterated terror, whittling his hooves down from a nervous chewing. Twilight groaned, the weight going back up actually taking more a toll on her than when they’d come down. She dug her hooves into the wood floor, trying to put each piece back neatly. One by one, she managed to set them gently into place. The stallion covered his eyes, only daring to peek out every so often. Twilight’s felt sweat begin to run down to her muzzle; only a few more to go. She felt her body tremble as the next slid into place. Her knees knocked together, her head stinging from the strain. The second slid slowly into place. Only the final gramophone to go. Her breath was unsteady, her body rocked as she felt a twinge of light-headedness hit her. The magic surrounding the final player dissipated.

The last piece tumbled off of the shelf towards the ground. Time found itself slowing for the second time in a day as Twilight watched the hefty object be taken cruelly by gravity. Flashbacks of her own gramophone’s demise came flooding back and with them a grim determination. She sprang forward, the stallion behind the counter ducked, covering his head as though the gramophone was going to explode the second it hit the ground. Twilight dove, stretching her forehooves out to save that precious music box. She gathered it in her hooves and pulled it to her body, rolling into a protective ball as she hit the ground. She lay still for a few tense moments with only the sound of her thumping heart and the faint whimper of the terrified clerk.

Her eyes opened slowly, looking down to the thing she had tried so desperately to save. Happily, she found nothing was broken. Setting it beside her, she got back to her hooves and let out a raucous cheer. For the second time in one day, she felt on cloud nine, as though she had saved the day from the evils of gravity. She did a dance of victory before floating the gramophone back to it’s home. With all of them arranged safely, Twilight grinned and trotted back to the counter. The stallion peered out, staring at the row of his merchandise and giving a sigh of relief to see them all safe and sound.

Smiling now, he looked to Twilight and sifted through her music collection. He seemed to approve of her acquisitions, giving a nod with each one. Entering it all into the cash register, the numbers rolled along and totalled out to seventy bits, a merry ding escaping the register. Twilight felt elated, her eyes on her new purchases as the coin purse within her saddle bag floated towards the clerk. The stallion behind the counter pulled the bag of bits open and looked inside. His face went sour.

Out from the bag poured an assortment of nails, nuts and bolts. They clattered against the counter drawing Twilight’s eye and subsequent horror. Twilight shuddered, feeling nothing but pure rage begin to boil up within her. It dawned on her then; the terrible fact that she’d used this saddle bag to help Applejack with a project. Her eye twitched as the realization, her bit bag was still at the library sitting safely on a shelf by her bed. She could feel steam jetting out of her ears in frustration.

“Oh, come on!” she shouted, slamming her hooves down on the ground. A strange, wooden groan answered her. She turned in time to witness the shelf of gramophones finally giving up on it’s struggle against physics. In an instant, thousands of bits worth of record players rocketed towards the ground like an expensive waterfall. Each impact shattering in a glorious cacophony of wood and bronze shrapnel. Twilight felt herself unable to move, save for her ear that flopped around nervously. A thump behind her made her wince, knowing it had come from the poor clerk hitting the floor in a dead faint.

If there was one thing she got out of this experience, it was that this would be the last time she ever bought a record by Vinyl Scratch.

Author's Note

This challenge was difficult, given the wide range of music I listened to while writing this. Much of it had to be edited since the flow would have been awful. A track list at this point would be close to impossible to come up with, but it was random. Also, you'll notice a few times I completely went against the rules of the challenge to place the names of songs in a few places. This was due to the song names being in a completely different language than English. There is no way that could have been done in any coherent fashion. So, I half way performed the challenge. Enjoy!

Addendum: Editing at two in the morning is difficult, but I think I got everything sorted. If you catch something, do let me though, wont you?