Rolling Doublesby DoTheEvolutionChaptersAdvance To Go (Collect $200)ChanceCommunity ChestGo Directly To Jail. Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect $200BankruptcyAdvance To Go (Collect $200)Rolling Doubles Chapter 1: Advance To GO, Collect $200 “Oh... I don’t know if I should...” Hesitated Fluttershy, “I mean this slide is offly long, what happens if I get stuck during the ride down?” The fear of this humiliation looming over her head. “Oh for pete’s sake, Fluttershy, just go down it!” An exasperated Rainbow Dash complained, forcing her friend down the tube before going down it herself a few seconds later. The “Mane Six”, as they were known, had elected to take a holiday at the gigantic waterpark resort in Canterlot. Thanks to Twilight’s connection to the royal princess, they pretty much had the run of the place. All expenses paid. It was the little slice of life they needed to get away from their stressful lives. “Oh God, wasn’t that fun Fluttershy?” Laughed Rainbow Dash. Splashing in the pool, her wings fluttering making her appear almost like a playful bird in a birdbath. “Yes... well..” Fumbled the weak-willed Fluttershy “I would of enjoyed it more going at my own pace” She argue, just a hair above a whisper, none of the herd noticing. “Wooooohahaha!” Laughed Rarity, as she came down the tube, her body smacking ring into the upright Rainbow Dash. Their bodies for a moment playfully meshing together, Dash ending up on top of the mid-Atlantic accented pony. “Oh gosh! Rainbow Dash, that slide is simply amazingly wicked fun!” Laughed Rarity. “I know right? It was such a good idea for us to come here for vacation!” Responded Dash with glee. “Oh I know! Plus it gives me a chance to show off my brand new swim suit line!” Rarity exclaimed, her eyes glowing like diamonds as she imagined the coinage she would make upon starting mass production. All the while Dash took a moment to inspect Rarity’s work, and found for some reason, the clothed pony way more inticing the typical naked mare. “Well it looks great.” assured Dash, who promptly got splashed in the face by Applejack. “Yeah sure, it’s cos-met-ically appealing and all but nothing beats feeling the crisp clear water on a nice liberated flank.” Applejack interjected with her two cents. “Oh my poor poor dear, AppleJack.” tutted Rarity, “The whole point of the swim suit is simply to make one look more attractive to colts!” she explained. Dash grimaced a moment. “It accentuates a mare’s natural appeal granted to her by nature.” “Well it might work, Rarity, if you weren’t laying underneath a rainbow haired mare.” Noted a half-jealous spike as he floated in an innertube. “Just saying, someone might get the wrong idea.” Rarity blushed as she became aware of the sexually suggestive situation, Dash letting her up with a blush. There was an awkward moment, followed by a sudden massive flood of water from the slide disorientating all the ponies! Which lead to a Spike-Rarity-Dash sandwich after it subsided. Pinkie Pie, the exitor of the slide exclaimed “Oh my Gosh! Did you see the amount of water that can down with me? I was all, ‘whoa’! And you were all ‘ahhh’! And now Spike, Rarity and Dash are locked in a three way!” Giggled the pink pony, the 3 of which quickly composed themselves. “Pinkie, just how did you do that?” asked a puzzled AppleJack, inquiring the surge of water. “Beats me, crazy stuff just sometimes happens to me!” Pinkie explained, suddenly an upward force of water forcing her into the air and dropping her “See?” She chuckled “M’ah gut feeling tells me Twilight would be more than interested in how yer doin that.” AppleJack noted, then added “Say, where is our favorite sugarcube anyway?” “She’s over on the beach.” answered Fluttershy “Reading.” Twilight laid upon the beach, in one of Rarity’s special bathing suits no less, with her bag of books, reading amongst the lazy foreign tourist. Her friends closed in on her position. “Twilight, hun’, what are you doing?” Asked Applejack. Twilight smirked, “Vacation or not, some ponies still have work to do A.J.” “Oh for God sakes egghead, don’t you think you can take five minutes away from those books and enjoy life?” Ask Dash “Please, Twilight, my design is simply wasted on you if all you choose to do is sunbathe the entire day.” heeded Rarity “You need to be in the water so the fabric can sparkle in the sun! Don’t you want to meet some dashing colt life guard?” “Guys!” Twilight laughed “Sometimes all you need to relax is just a good book on a nice beach.” “Book schmook, get in the water egghead!” Demanded Dash, grabbing the pony from her book and tossing her into the gigantic wave pool next to Fluttershy. Pinkie Pie appearing with a gigantic super soaker and shooting both of them with incredible force. “Yeah! C’mon! What’s the point of being at a resort if you don’t enjoy the water?!” Pinkie laughed, tossing the soaker into back into the non-existent dimensional plane where it was originally plucked from. “Lets all play Marco polo! Fluttershy, you’re it!” “Actually... I wanted to go take a nap on the Lazy River...” Fluttershy tried to express, then Pinkie pounded her on the head forcing her eyes shut. she reluctantly counted to ten. After minutes of starting, Fluttershy came within a hairs reach of tagging either Rarity or Rainbow Dash using her as a Pony shield “Oh noo!!!!” Rarity squeaked playfully. Forcibly, Spike interjected himself between the two, kicking Rarity off the side and pushing Dash into harms way. “Hey, you can’t do that! That’s cheating!” Dash whined, in the background Rarity rubbed her hip from being kicked out of the way of certain tag. “Bullshit! you were just about to do the same to Rarity.” Spike argued back. “Really, I don’t mind going again...” Fluttershy made a half-hearted attempt to make peace “Not that anyone pays mind to what I say.” “Spike! Dash! Both of you calm down!” Twilight ordered with the same authority a mother would over two small children. “I’ll decide who’s it.” “No, I’ll be it.” Rarity declared “After all I don’t want to come between Dash and my little Spikey-wikey, right?” Rarity faux-smiled, and despite Twilight’s assurance that she didn’t have to, shut her eyes and played the role of Marco polo. “Marco!” Rarity called out into the abyss. “Polo!” Responded Dash in her best Spike impersonation, grabbing the bay dragon by the collar and shoving him face first into Rarity’s crotch. Rarity, obviously surprised, and struck Spike back in the face. “Oh, of all the nerve! How dare you Spike!” Rarity cried, flustered. “I expect this sort of behavior from most dragons, but you?” “What?! But it wasn’t me, it was Dash!” Spike wailed. Rarity looked over to Twilight and Fluttershy for an objective opinion. “I was underwater at the time.” Twilight shrugged. “Spike is telling the truth...” Fluttershy tried to explain, her voice not powerful enough to make a bit of difference. The sentence merely came out as a squeak. “Ugh! I am done playing games. I am lounging in the Lazy River for the rest of the day...” She said, whimsically throwing her right front hoof over her forehead. “But what Pony is accompanying me?” she asked, before adding angrily “Who’s name isn’t Spike or Rainbow Dash.” “I-I would like to go to the Lazy River....” Fluttershy tried to volunteer. “Perfect!” Smiled Rarity. “Me and Fluttershy can engage in a little girl talk, while you sexual deviants can do whatever.” Fluttershy smiled, somewhat happy somepony had decided to listen to her for a change. “Yay!” “Well why don’t we all meet back at the club in the hotel lobby tonight, then we can and have a few drinks?” Suggested Twilight. They agreed. ChanceChapter 2: Chance When Twilight had suggested they all would go out clubbing, Spike was under the impression that “all” included him as well.. Much to his disappointment, he discovered not only can baby dragons not legally be sold alcohol, but Twilight had meant for him to baby sit the six of them. “What a waste.” Muttered Spike, as he sat at the bar. “Give me another soda, Pony Joe.” “Don’t you think you’ve had enough kid?” The bartender joked, sliding him another mug full of root beer. “You’re not driving tonight are you?” “Shut up.” Spike snapped as he swiveled in his bar stool and observed the scene around him. DJ Pon-3 was by the turn tables spinning some horrible auto-tuned pop. The kind of music that one would have to be on the far side of wasted to have thought sounded anything resembling music. The party going on in the club was a regular Sodom and Gomorra. Total sin and debauchery. Fillys grinding on colts, random couples hooking up possibly only for the night. Maybe if Spike was in a better mood, or drunk himself, this scene would be appealing to him. Instead all it did was disgust him. “Hey Spike!” Fluttershy exclaimed loudly, glomping him in a sloppy hug that he pushed off and sat her on a bar stool. “Are you having fun?” She giggled. “Tons.” Snapped Spike. “Yeah... Me neither...” Fluttershy’s emotion suddenly swaying. “Woooboy!” Applejack stretched, returning from the dance floor and ordering yet another shot of whiskey. “I tell ya, this vacation has been more fun then an Apple Acres midnight rodeo!” She downed her shot, then noticing the grim look on her friends faces, asked “What’s botherin’ you two?” “I’m not drunk.” Spike explained. “I have no idea what’s wrong with this one.” he nodded towards Fluttershy who was now crying into the shoulder of his dress shirt, which was rapidly becoming more and more moist, but he ignored it. “I’m fine!” Fluttershy said in-between sobs, “I just think I took to many pills!” “Pills?!” AppleJack bolted to her side “You shouldn’t be taking medication with alcohol!” She felt Fluttershy’s forehead. “What was it? How much did you take?” “It was the watermelon colored ones!” Fluttershy giggled “The whole bottle!” “The whole bottle?! What’re trying to do, kill yourself?” AppleJack scolded. “Noooooooo!” She laughed “This is probably one of those... what’re they called? Cry for help attempts?” AppleJack groaned, then taking the drugged girl by the shoulder “C’mon, lets get you back to the hotel room.” She added “Spike, go find the others on the dance floor, and tell them what’s going on, okay?” “If it means getting out here, sure. Gladly.” Responded Spike, hopping off the bar stole and towards the sea of bodies on the dance floor. “Excuse me... Pardon me... You’re stepping on my tail, please!” as he pushed through. Reaching the otherside of the club he spotted Pinkie Pie and Twilight partying hard. Twilight’s head bopping up and down with her tongue sticking out as if she was having a seizure. Pinkie Pie in turn, spazzing out in a similar style. “Hey guys, uh-” Spike began, stuttering. Just how does one go about telling his friend that their other friend was upstairs suffering through a suicide attempt? “Oh my God, Spike!” Pinkie grabbed the little dragon, up in her arms and began spinning “Isn’t this the greatest fun in the world?!?!” “Not when your sober.” Spike noted, dead panned. “What do you mean? I’m sober and I’m having a blast!” Exclaimed Pinkie, tossing him up in the air. Spike didn’t have the nerve to state what he was thinking: You’re also bat-shit insane. “Twilight.” He said, getting her attention “You guys are needed back in the hotel room. AppleJack thinks there is something wrong with Fluttershy.” “Oh I hope it isn’t serious.” commented Twilight “We better go, Pinkie. Spike, would you mind getting Rainbow and Rarity? They’re in the back by the VIP section.” Spike sighed, navigating through the gyrating bodies yet again. Eventually, he reached the back of the club, where he witnessed a site that sank his heart. Rainbow and Rarity dancing suggestively, both visibly drunk. Rainbow tussling with Rarity’s mane, Rarity responded by giving a sultry smile and laying on a big kiss. Spike stood, frozen as if he had laid his eyes upon madness itself. Time slowed down, as the blaring music in the club slowed to a straight beat that thumped in time with his breaking heart. The song exclaimed “I’ve got a feeling, that tonight’s going to be a good night.” Inside, Spike silently raged: No, it’s not. Community ChestChapter 3: Community Chest “Oh my aching head...” moaned Rarity as she awoke from the bed. In the background, she heard Rainbow Dash throwing up over the balcony, a colt below justly cursing at her in response. “What happened last night?” She asked as she collapsed back into bed, turning to Twilight, who was lounging on the opposite bed reading. Pinkie Pie jumped into her point of view... “Well you, and Rainbow Dash where making out all night, Fluttershy said she was trying to kill herself with an overdose but was just really really drunk, I think she thought altoids where pills... Anyway, AppleJack watched over her all night as she passed out in the tub, and I haven’t seen Spike since we left the club last night.” If she paused to take a breath, Rarity didn’t notice. It just seemed to scramble into one giant run-on sentence, and it made the mare’s head hurt. “Pinkie Pie, darling, I’m much to hung over to be around you.” She shut her eyes. “Oh hang overs are never fun, thats why I don’t drink, totally straight edge, enough weird things happen to me sober. Could you imagine if I was drunk? I mean, duh! I mean look at this thing!” She pulled out an Aperture Science Weighted Companion Cube seemingly out of thin air “I don’t know what this is or how I made it appear just now, but it’s there.” Rarity turned to Twilight for help “Twi, how does she do that?” “It’s Pinkie Pie.” Twilight said, licking her hoof and turning the page “Don’t question it, it’ll just make your head hurt more.” AppleJack left the bathroom, the sounds of Fluttershy’s regurgitation echoing from the toilet bowl. A concerned look over her face. “How is she?” Twilight asked. “Fine... She just doesn’t know how to handle her liquor.” The concern didn’t leave her face “But I tell ya, I’m worried about her. She was spouting off some weird talk last night, a lot of self-loathing... I’m thinking we should pay extra attention to her or something.” “Ugh, how emo can you get?” Complained Rainbow Dash, collapsing into a chair, wiping the excess bile from her mouth “Pay attention to me or I’ll kill myself... If she has a problem she should just come right out and say it.” “Well you know how Fluttershy is. She’s fragile” Defended Twilight. “I know, but... When I have a problem I just come right out and express it. The world would be better if people just cut the bullshit and say what they mean.” Dash explained. “Well since you feel that way Dash, now might be a good time to tell you that make out session we had last night didn’t mean anything.” Rarity explained. “What?” Dash was shocked. “I sometimes get a little lesbo when I drink. No big deal.” Rarity brushed it off. “Oh... o...okay...” Dash got quiet, sullen. Later, Rarity had elected to go on a shopping excursion, inviting along her friends, however only Pinkie Pie jumped at the chance. Twilight deciding only to come along as well at Rarity’s urging. “Do you want to come along, Rainbow Dash?” Twilight asked. “No...” Rainbow responded “I’m probably going to head back to the park later to have more fun.” What she didn’t want to say was the real reason: She didn’t desire to be around Rarity at that moment. “What about you, AppleJack? Maybe we could find something for that isn’t quite so... country? Mmmm?” Rarity asked. A shaky Fluttershy emerged from the bathroom, and made her way over to sit down on the bed. Jack didn’t say a word, just nodded with her head that seemed to indicate she aimed to babysit her friend. “Okay well, we will be back in couple hours... C’mon girls!” Rarity declared, as they exited the room. “Dear me, I really hope Rainbow Dash isn’t holding a grudge against me for the other night.” Rarity confessed. “What exactly did you two do?” Twilight asked as they walked down the hotel hallway. “Well we made out a little.” Rarity blushed “Oh my!” Twilight smiled “Oh my Gosh! Are you coming out Rarity?” Pinkie jumped “No one has ever came out to me before! I can’t imagine why....” “No no” Rarity laughed “It’s just something I do when I find myself a little tipsy.” “Oh now that I think about it, I really hope Spike didn’t see it.” thought Twilight “Why you’re right, something like an exploration of female sexuality is not something a baby dragon like him should be exposed to yet.” Rarity agreed. “No I mean-” Twilight began before Pinkie cut her off with a glare. “For. Eve. Er.” Pinkie whispered. Then nodding her head towards the approaching Spike walking in the opposite direction. “Oh hi Spikey!” Rarity said cheerfully “Where have you been all night Spike?” Twilight asked Spike just kept walking straight, mumbling that he slept near the hotel pool, and returned to the hotel room. “Sheesh... What a grump!” Noted Pinkie Pie Go Directly To Jail. Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect $200Chapter 4: Go Directly To Jail, Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect $200 “Feeling better, sugarcube?” Applejack asked Fluttershy. “Much.” Fluttershy responded. “Don’t ever do that again, Fluttershy, if you have a problem speak up. We are your friends, we’ll always help you.” Applejack explained, placing her hoof on Fluttershy’s knee, smiling. “Now what do you want to do today huh? Maybe get something in your stomach? Maybe we could go back to the water park in a bit?” “I really don’t want to impose on you.” Fluttershy lied. “Aw, c’mon darling,” Applejack persuaded “What’s something fun you want to do?” “Well.. It’s a little boring but...” Fluttershy mumbled “Maybe we could play Ponopoly?” “Why sure!” Applejack smiled, despite the prospect of playing a board game when they were at this wonderful resort incredibly silly. “I just don’t know where we will get a board...” “I have a board!” Fluttershy squeaked, pulling the game box out of her suitcase in a haste. “Oh... ok” Applejack said bewildered “Hey, Rainbow Dash! You want to play a Ponopoly with us?” Dash weighed her feelings. on the one hand she didn’t really feel like playing the boring game, However she understood what AppleJack was really asking for was to help her raise Fluttershy’s mood. “Yeah, sure.” Dash got up and sat over on the bed where Fluttershy had set up the board. “Okay... Now no one can be the Scottie-dog, ‘cause that’s my favorite.” Fluttershy explained. “’Kay, shotty Racecar!” Dash said quickly “Darn it!” Applejack cursed “I reckon I’ll be the top hat then.” Spike then entered the hotel room. “Hey Spike! Would you like to play Ponopoly with us?” Fluttershy asked. Spike glared at the four of them, but he couldn’t find it in him to be rude to Fluttershy. “Racecar taken?” he asked “’Fraid Rainbow called it all ready.” Answered AppleJack “Shocker.” he said unenthusiastically, then declaring he’d be the warship. An hour later, Dash and Spike were locked in hyper competition.... “Hey yall come on, calm down, it’s just a game.” AppleJack cautioned. “Okay, I’ll trade Park Place for your orange properties Dash.” Fluttershy agreed. “Wait!” Spike called out “The entire slums, and the train station.” and countered offered. “Spike, she already agreed to a deal with me.” Said Dash annoyed. Spike didn’t respond to her. He couldn’t let Dash gain both properties, his ego wouldn’t allow it. Steal my woman and the game? Fuck that noise! he thought. “5 Gold coins.” Offered Spike, taking the real-world currency from his person and dropping it into the center of the board. “DEAL!” Fluttershy agreed, scooping up the coins. “What about your deal with me?” Dash spoke “Well do you have 6 coins?” Fluttershy asked. “No-What? This isn’t how you play the game! Offering real money is cheating.” Dash whined. “Gee, I bet you know a lot about that, huh?” Spike grumbled as he liberated Park Place from Fluttershy, who smiled at AppleJack. “Did you see? I was soooo assertive!” She said proudly to AppleJack “Yes, you sure were, sugarcube.” Applejack hastily acknowledge “Now, c’mon yall calm down.” “What is that suppose to mean?” Roared Dash “I don’t cheat.” “...Or ya know, don’t” Jack muttered to herself. “Taking advantage of my girlfriend when she’s drunk off her rocker with booze isn’t cheating?” Spike ceased beating around the bush. The room feel silent, and time froze, and eye before the storm. Fluttershy, oblivious to it, casually reached across the board and picked up the dice. “Calm on Free Parking!” She called out. “She’s not your girlfriend, Spike.” Dash whispered softly. The brought up of Rarity again in her head bringing her own ill feelings of rejection earlier. Spike however, felt no sadness. Like a true dragon he felt nothing but a horrible burning rage. He knocked over the game board just as Fluttershy’s piece was about to land on Free Parking. “You... You...” He stammered, raising his pointing hand at Rainbow Dash as the Ponopoly money and hotels fell around them like dying leaves. “YOU STUPID FLAMING QUEER! YOU’VE RUINED EVERYTHING!” Dash’s eyes got angry “What did you just call me?” Applejack stepped in front of her. “Whoa, hold your horses there partner.” Jack warned “NO! NO I WON’T CALM DOWN!” He sobbed “I’VE WORKED... SO HARD... TO GET HER TO LIKE ME, AND THEN YOU COME IN AND RUIN THAT FOR ME! YOU COULD OF CONVERTED ANY FUCKING MARE, WHY’D YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE MINE?” “You don’t own her like property, dipshit!” Rainbow raged back. “Spike, you need to calm down.” Applejack repeated. “FUCK. YOU. I DON’T HAVE TO CALM DOWN!” He raged. “You better if you don’t want my hoof up your ass!” Snapped Rainbow Dash “Soooo not helping Dash!” AppleJack commented, facepalming herself. Just then, the door locked click, Rarity re-entered the room with shopping bags, Twilight and Pinkie Pie in toe. BankruptcyChapter 5: Bankruptcy “Oh girls!” Rarity called out joyfully, “You will not believe the nice little number I found in the nearby mall.” Only to go wide-eyed at the dishevelment of the room, the angry eyes on two of her friends faces and Fluttershy still awkwardly frozen in mid-placing her piece on the now-nonexistent game board. “What’s going on here?” Twilight asked “Oh my gosh, were you guys playing a game?” Jumped Pinkie “I love games! What is it? Scrabble? Battleship?” Spike looked down at Rainbow Dash “Just Ponopoly.” Spike muttered. “Things, uh, got a little heated. I was trying to get Fluttershy to be more assertive.” Explained Applejack, awkwardly. “Pardners, can I speak to you outside for a minute?” Rainbow Dash caught on to what Applejack was doing, and wanted none of it. “Rarity, ask you a personal question? All your former boyfriends have been Colts right?” “Well, they were hardly what I would call a REAL colt, darling.” Rarity flipped her bangs, laying her bags on the floor and then lounging herself on the bed. “Yeah but nonetheless, they were ponies right? Strictly speaking, not birds, or rocks, or reptiles. You don’t play that way right?” Asked Rainbow Dash, smirking an evil grin as she stared at Spike. Rarity got a disgusted look on her place “Are you implying I’m some sort of sexual deviant? Regardless, yes they’ve all been Colts.” She said defensively. “What about that giant rock that Discord tricked you into believing was a gem?” Remembered Pinkie Pie. “WE ARE NEVER TO SPEAK OF THAT AGAIN! WE AGREED!” Rarity snapped. “Actually only you agreed to that, Rarity.” Spoke Twilight “And since I still have back spasms from lugging that thing around for you, I’m not going to cease making sure you don’t live it down for a while.” “Ugh!” Rarity groaned “Why all this sudden interest in my personal life?!” “’Cause both Rainbow Dash and Spike wanna plow your beanfield silly!” Exclaimed Pinkie Pie. “My... Bean field?” Rarity said in confusion and horror, glancing at the pegasus and the dragon. “Yeah you know, the hanky panky, the doodlehutzits, whoopie, making love, sexual intercourse, fucking.” Pinkie went on “You know, like when two special someponies love each other very much-” “I know what sex is, Pinkie Pie, thank you!” snapped Rarity. “Twilight! You told Pinkie?” Spike said, his rage growing again. “That was suppose to be a secret!” “Sorry Spike.” Twilight responded. “Oh don’t apologize Twilight, I mean... it’s sooooo obvious. I mean Rainbow Dash was more or less an educated guess but everypony, and I mean EVERYPONY in Ponyville knows you like Rarity. I mean like, DUH, it’s so obvious, ya know? You’d have to be like, a self-absorbed moron not to realize it.” Explained Pinkie, causing Rarity to blush in embarrassment. “Well I must say, I’m flattered that the both of you think I’m marvelous enough to fight over...” Spoke a flustered Rarity. “Well then, since the cats out of the bag, who do you pick? Huh?” Rainbow Dash asked boldly. “Choose? Oh... no no no no no.” Rarity laughed “Look I’m sorry, both of you, I really am but... Rainbow I’m simply not.... swinging that way, as it were? And Spike...” The little dragon’s head didn’t move from the soft spot on the ground “...Look you’re a nice boy and all, but the fact is- you’re a dragon. Dragon’s and ponies can’t be together, it defies nature!” “Don’t swing that way? Don’t swing that way?!” Dash’s voice raised. Rarity blushed “I told you this morning, it’s only when I drink I-” “Look if you want to stay in the closet? Fine. But I’m done trying to make believe what we had last night wasn’t a shared moment.” Dash outpoured herself “I felt something when we kissed.” “Well I don’t remember it.” Rarity brushed it off. “It meant nothing.” “It meant nothing?!” Responded Dash, jaw dropped. “The ruby.” Spike spoke, a hair above a whisper. “The heart shaped ruby I gave you. Did that mean nothing either?” his head didn’t look up from the floor. “Look I’m sorry if I was leading the two of you on, I honestly didn’t believe either one of those actions would create so much drama.” Rarity express, sincerely. “I was going to land on Free Parking...” Fluttershy squeaked. “I was winning.” All heads turned to the pink-haired mare. “Yes, sugarcube, we know...” Applejack said reassuringly. “Ohhh do you want to play again? I’ll play! I love playing checkers!” Pinkie exclaimed. Fluttershy gently passed Pinkie away and rose to her feat. “Look. Whatever.” Dash said in a huff, returning her attention to Rarity “Next time you want to play it all bi-curious choose another mare.” She floated over to the other bed, turning away from all of them. “Rarity...” Spike cried “I thought we had something...” He stuttered “Something special.” “Spike...” She looked on sympathetically “I’m sorry. I do care about you, but I don’t return those feelings.” “But everything... I did everything I could for you!!” Spike protested, in midst of downfall looking to Twilight “Why isn’t everything working out?!” “Spike-” Twilight began in a motherly tone, which was cut short by Rainbow Dash from across the room. “Because life doesn’t work that way. Sometimes it doesn’t matter how badly you want something or how hard your work. You’re just gonna fail.” Dash shut her eyes tight “Face it. It’s reality.” Spike’s gaze returned to Rarity and the quills on his back spurned, he lowered his head and fire began to pour from his nose. He had gone feral, the reality of the situation producing such a festering hate that if he got his hands on Rarity he wasn’t certain if he’d rape or murder her. Two hooves grabbed Spike by the head and spun him around. The eyes of the now feral Spike locked in Fluttershy’s devastating stare. “You are going to calm down, and pick up the pieces of the game board this instant mister.” Fluttershy ordered. Spike’s response was to continue to huff and puff. “I said, PICK UP THE BOARD!” Spike roared. “Do you think I’m scared of you? You have no idea what real emotional pain feels like, like I do. Now you will do as I say, or else!” Fluttershy reiterated. “Or what?!” Spike growled “This!” Fluttershy yelled back, smashing her face into Spike’s in a devastating heabutt. As spike reared, she floated around him and snatched him up in her front legs. The baby dragon promptly pried himself free from her grasp, and slashed her in the face with his claw. “YOU LEAVE ME ALONE!” He dropped to the ground. “Ah my face!” Fluttershy covered it, shrieking. “THIS IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS FLUTTERSHY!” Spike raged Twilight turned to Fluttershy “Are you all right?” “I think he broke the skin...” She said, allowing Twilight to get a closer look. She was right, Fluttershy’s face was a preverbal crimson mask. A wild crazy expression came over her face. “That’s it.” She said, charging at him! “No! Just!” Twilight cringed “At least don’t make him bleed!” She’d all but given up. Striking and tumbling on the ground, neither side seemed to be able to get any real advantage. Spike was a tornado, a whirlwind of pure emotion, and anger. Fluttershy was wild, filled with angst and unimaginable rage that had been powder kegged for far to long “Screw you and your pathetic love obsession!” Fluttershy yelled “I could of finally won for a game!” “FUCK YOU!” He roared back, headbutting himself free from her, breaking her nose. “Oh you...” Fluttershy charged, kicking Spike with her hind legs and accidentally sending him through the balcony window, spilling over the railing. Twilight, Realizing Fluttershy’s error, jumped at the chance to save her baby dragon with a levitation spell. Spike floated safely back to the balcony the fright of the near death experience sobering him from anger. Fluttershy collapsed the to ground, horrified by her own actions “Oh dear!” She cried. “Damn it!” Spike punched the ground “Why couldn’t you have let me fall and die in peace!” “GOD DAMN IT!” Rainbow Dash hollered, rolling out her bed confronting him. “Do you realize that not everything in your life revolves around you?” She asked “Do you every think for 5 damn minutes that maybe your actions or your suicide may affect us all?” Rainbow Dash sighed “I don’t want you to die kid. Pinkie doesn’t. You know Rarity doesn’t. Neither does Apple Jack or Fluttershy. And Twilight? She’s practically your mom.” She added “She doesn’t want you to die either.” Spike cried “I’m... I’m sorry.” In the wake of the relief that the near death experience caused, Spike looked around the room at his friends stopping squarely on Rarity, and acting on the intense pain, this time he leaped off the balcony. There would be no magic net to catch him this time, shutting his eyes right before his head hit smack into the sidewalk below, the fluids contained within his skull creating a halo around his head. No moved, no one said a word, they just sat in the horror of it all. It was far to messed up to understand, or even acknowledge how their vacation forged from their friendship had in fact led to it’s destruction. Spike’s death was merely the exclamation point, at which their happy and mostly secure world had been flipped over completely. Their friendship would not endure.
Advance To Go (Collect $200)Rolling Doubles Chapter 1: Advance To GO, Collect $200 “Oh... I don’t know if I should...” Hesitated Fluttershy, “I mean this slide is offly long, what happens if I get stuck during the ride down?” The fear of this humiliation looming over her head. “Oh for pete’s sake, Fluttershy, just go down it!” An exasperated Rainbow Dash complained, forcing her friend down the tube before going down it herself a few seconds later. The “Mane Six”, as they were known, had elected to take a holiday at the gigantic waterpark resort in Canterlot. Thanks to Twilight’s connection to the royal princess, they pretty much had the run of the place. All expenses paid. It was the little slice of life they needed to get away from their stressful lives. “Oh God, wasn’t that fun Fluttershy?” Laughed Rainbow Dash. Splashing in the pool, her wings fluttering making her appear almost like a playful bird in a birdbath. “Yes... well..” Fumbled the weak-willed Fluttershy “I would of enjoyed it more going at my own pace” She argue, just a hair above a whisper, none of the herd noticing. “Wooooohahaha!” Laughed Rarity, as she came down the tube, her body smacking ring into the upright Rainbow Dash. Their bodies for a moment playfully meshing together, Dash ending up on top of the mid-Atlantic accented pony. “Oh gosh! Rainbow Dash, that slide is simply amazingly wicked fun!” Laughed Rarity. “I know right? It was such a good idea for us to come here for vacation!” Responded Dash with glee. “Oh I know! Plus it gives me a chance to show off my brand new swim suit line!” Rarity exclaimed, her eyes glowing like diamonds as she imagined the coinage she would make upon starting mass production. All the while Dash took a moment to inspect Rarity’s work, and found for some reason, the clothed pony way more inticing the typical naked mare. “Well it looks great.” assured Dash, who promptly got splashed in the face by Applejack. “Yeah sure, it’s cos-met-ically appealing and all but nothing beats feeling the crisp clear water on a nice liberated flank.” Applejack interjected with her two cents. “Oh my poor poor dear, AppleJack.” tutted Rarity, “The whole point of the swim suit is simply to make one look more attractive to colts!” she explained. Dash grimaced a moment. “It accentuates a mare’s natural appeal granted to her by nature.” “Well it might work, Rarity, if you weren’t laying underneath a rainbow haired mare.” Noted a half-jealous spike as he floated in an innertube. “Just saying, someone might get the wrong idea.” Rarity blushed as she became aware of the sexually suggestive situation, Dash letting her up with a blush. There was an awkward moment, followed by a sudden massive flood of water from the slide disorientating all the ponies! Which lead to a Spike-Rarity-Dash sandwich after it subsided. Pinkie Pie, the exitor of the slide exclaimed “Oh my Gosh! Did you see the amount of water that can down with me? I was all, ‘whoa’! And you were all ‘ahhh’! And now Spike, Rarity and Dash are locked in a three way!” Giggled the pink pony, the 3 of which quickly composed themselves. “Pinkie, just how did you do that?” asked a puzzled AppleJack, inquiring the surge of water. “Beats me, crazy stuff just sometimes happens to me!” Pinkie explained, suddenly an upward force of water forcing her into the air and dropping her “See?” She chuckled “M’ah gut feeling tells me Twilight would be more than interested in how yer doin that.” AppleJack noted, then added “Say, where is our favorite sugarcube anyway?” “She’s over on the beach.” answered Fluttershy “Reading.” Twilight laid upon the beach, in one of Rarity’s special bathing suits no less, with her bag of books, reading amongst the lazy foreign tourist. Her friends closed in on her position. “Twilight, hun’, what are you doing?” Asked Applejack. Twilight smirked, “Vacation or not, some ponies still have work to do A.J.” “Oh for God sakes egghead, don’t you think you can take five minutes away from those books and enjoy life?” Ask Dash “Please, Twilight, my design is simply wasted on you if all you choose to do is sunbathe the entire day.” heeded Rarity “You need to be in the water so the fabric can sparkle in the sun! Don’t you want to meet some dashing colt life guard?” “Guys!” Twilight laughed “Sometimes all you need to relax is just a good book on a nice beach.” “Book schmook, get in the water egghead!” Demanded Dash, grabbing the pony from her book and tossing her into the gigantic wave pool next to Fluttershy. Pinkie Pie appearing with a gigantic super soaker and shooting both of them with incredible force. “Yeah! C’mon! What’s the point of being at a resort if you don’t enjoy the water?!” Pinkie laughed, tossing the soaker into back into the non-existent dimensional plane where it was originally plucked from. “Lets all play Marco polo! Fluttershy, you’re it!” “Actually... I wanted to go take a nap on the Lazy River...” Fluttershy tried to express, then Pinkie pounded her on the head forcing her eyes shut. she reluctantly counted to ten. After minutes of starting, Fluttershy came within a hairs reach of tagging either Rarity or Rainbow Dash using her as a Pony shield “Oh noo!!!!” Rarity squeaked playfully. Forcibly, Spike interjected himself between the two, kicking Rarity off the side and pushing Dash into harms way. “Hey, you can’t do that! That’s cheating!” Dash whined, in the background Rarity rubbed her hip from being kicked out of the way of certain tag. “Bullshit! you were just about to do the same to Rarity.” Spike argued back. “Really, I don’t mind going again...” Fluttershy made a half-hearted attempt to make peace “Not that anyone pays mind to what I say.” “Spike! Dash! Both of you calm down!” Twilight ordered with the same authority a mother would over two small children. “I’ll decide who’s it.” “No, I’ll be it.” Rarity declared “After all I don’t want to come between Dash and my little Spikey-wikey, right?” Rarity faux-smiled, and despite Twilight’s assurance that she didn’t have to, shut her eyes and played the role of Marco polo. “Marco!” Rarity called out into the abyss. “Polo!” Responded Dash in her best Spike impersonation, grabbing the bay dragon by the collar and shoving him face first into Rarity’s crotch. Rarity, obviously surprised, and struck Spike back in the face. “Oh, of all the nerve! How dare you Spike!” Rarity cried, flustered. “I expect this sort of behavior from most dragons, but you?” “What?! But it wasn’t me, it was Dash!” Spike wailed. Rarity looked over to Twilight and Fluttershy for an objective opinion. “I was underwater at the time.” Twilight shrugged. “Spike is telling the truth...” Fluttershy tried to explain, her voice not powerful enough to make a bit of difference. The sentence merely came out as a squeak. “Ugh! I am done playing games. I am lounging in the Lazy River for the rest of the day...” She said, whimsically throwing her right front hoof over her forehead. “But what Pony is accompanying me?” she asked, before adding angrily “Who’s name isn’t Spike or Rainbow Dash.” “I-I would like to go to the Lazy River....” Fluttershy tried to volunteer. “Perfect!” Smiled Rarity. “Me and Fluttershy can engage in a little girl talk, while you sexual deviants can do whatever.” Fluttershy smiled, somewhat happy somepony had decided to listen to her for a change. “Yay!” “Well why don’t we all meet back at the club in the hotel lobby tonight, then we can and have a few drinks?” Suggested Twilight. They agreed.
ChanceChapter 2: Chance When Twilight had suggested they all would go out clubbing, Spike was under the impression that “all” included him as well.. Much to his disappointment, he discovered not only can baby dragons not legally be sold alcohol, but Twilight had meant for him to baby sit the six of them. “What a waste.” Muttered Spike, as he sat at the bar. “Give me another soda, Pony Joe.” “Don’t you think you’ve had enough kid?” The bartender joked, sliding him another mug full of root beer. “You’re not driving tonight are you?” “Shut up.” Spike snapped as he swiveled in his bar stool and observed the scene around him. DJ Pon-3 was by the turn tables spinning some horrible auto-tuned pop. The kind of music that one would have to be on the far side of wasted to have thought sounded anything resembling music. The party going on in the club was a regular Sodom and Gomorra. Total sin and debauchery. Fillys grinding on colts, random couples hooking up possibly only for the night. Maybe if Spike was in a better mood, or drunk himself, this scene would be appealing to him. Instead all it did was disgust him. “Hey Spike!” Fluttershy exclaimed loudly, glomping him in a sloppy hug that he pushed off and sat her on a bar stool. “Are you having fun?” She giggled. “Tons.” Snapped Spike. “Yeah... Me neither...” Fluttershy’s emotion suddenly swaying. “Woooboy!” Applejack stretched, returning from the dance floor and ordering yet another shot of whiskey. “I tell ya, this vacation has been more fun then an Apple Acres midnight rodeo!” She downed her shot, then noticing the grim look on her friends faces, asked “What’s botherin’ you two?” “I’m not drunk.” Spike explained. “I have no idea what’s wrong with this one.” he nodded towards Fluttershy who was now crying into the shoulder of his dress shirt, which was rapidly becoming more and more moist, but he ignored it. “I’m fine!” Fluttershy said in-between sobs, “I just think I took to many pills!” “Pills?!” AppleJack bolted to her side “You shouldn’t be taking medication with alcohol!” She felt Fluttershy’s forehead. “What was it? How much did you take?” “It was the watermelon colored ones!” Fluttershy giggled “The whole bottle!” “The whole bottle?! What’re trying to do, kill yourself?” AppleJack scolded. “Noooooooo!” She laughed “This is probably one of those... what’re they called? Cry for help attempts?” AppleJack groaned, then taking the drugged girl by the shoulder “C’mon, lets get you back to the hotel room.” She added “Spike, go find the others on the dance floor, and tell them what’s going on, okay?” “If it means getting out here, sure. Gladly.” Responded Spike, hopping off the bar stole and towards the sea of bodies on the dance floor. “Excuse me... Pardon me... You’re stepping on my tail, please!” as he pushed through. Reaching the otherside of the club he spotted Pinkie Pie and Twilight partying hard. Twilight’s head bopping up and down with her tongue sticking out as if she was having a seizure. Pinkie Pie in turn, spazzing out in a similar style. “Hey guys, uh-” Spike began, stuttering. Just how does one go about telling his friend that their other friend was upstairs suffering through a suicide attempt? “Oh my God, Spike!” Pinkie grabbed the little dragon, up in her arms and began spinning “Isn’t this the greatest fun in the world?!?!” “Not when your sober.” Spike noted, dead panned. “What do you mean? I’m sober and I’m having a blast!” Exclaimed Pinkie, tossing him up in the air. Spike didn’t have the nerve to state what he was thinking: You’re also bat-shit insane. “Twilight.” He said, getting her attention “You guys are needed back in the hotel room. AppleJack thinks there is something wrong with Fluttershy.” “Oh I hope it isn’t serious.” commented Twilight “We better go, Pinkie. Spike, would you mind getting Rainbow and Rarity? They’re in the back by the VIP section.” Spike sighed, navigating through the gyrating bodies yet again. Eventually, he reached the back of the club, where he witnessed a site that sank his heart. Rainbow and Rarity dancing suggestively, both visibly drunk. Rainbow tussling with Rarity’s mane, Rarity responded by giving a sultry smile and laying on a big kiss. Spike stood, frozen as if he had laid his eyes upon madness itself. Time slowed down, as the blaring music in the club slowed to a straight beat that thumped in time with his breaking heart. The song exclaimed “I’ve got a feeling, that tonight’s going to be a good night.” Inside, Spike silently raged: No, it’s not.
Community ChestChapter 3: Community Chest “Oh my aching head...” moaned Rarity as she awoke from the bed. In the background, she heard Rainbow Dash throwing up over the balcony, a colt below justly cursing at her in response. “What happened last night?” She asked as she collapsed back into bed, turning to Twilight, who was lounging on the opposite bed reading. Pinkie Pie jumped into her point of view... “Well you, and Rainbow Dash where making out all night, Fluttershy said she was trying to kill herself with an overdose but was just really really drunk, I think she thought altoids where pills... Anyway, AppleJack watched over her all night as she passed out in the tub, and I haven’t seen Spike since we left the club last night.” If she paused to take a breath, Rarity didn’t notice. It just seemed to scramble into one giant run-on sentence, and it made the mare’s head hurt. “Pinkie Pie, darling, I’m much to hung over to be around you.” She shut her eyes. “Oh hang overs are never fun, thats why I don’t drink, totally straight edge, enough weird things happen to me sober. Could you imagine if I was drunk? I mean, duh! I mean look at this thing!” She pulled out an Aperture Science Weighted Companion Cube seemingly out of thin air “I don’t know what this is or how I made it appear just now, but it’s there.” Rarity turned to Twilight for help “Twi, how does she do that?” “It’s Pinkie Pie.” Twilight said, licking her hoof and turning the page “Don’t question it, it’ll just make your head hurt more.” AppleJack left the bathroom, the sounds of Fluttershy’s regurgitation echoing from the toilet bowl. A concerned look over her face. “How is she?” Twilight asked. “Fine... She just doesn’t know how to handle her liquor.” The concern didn’t leave her face “But I tell ya, I’m worried about her. She was spouting off some weird talk last night, a lot of self-loathing... I’m thinking we should pay extra attention to her or something.” “Ugh, how emo can you get?” Complained Rainbow Dash, collapsing into a chair, wiping the excess bile from her mouth “Pay attention to me or I’ll kill myself... If she has a problem she should just come right out and say it.” “Well you know how Fluttershy is. She’s fragile” Defended Twilight. “I know, but... When I have a problem I just come right out and express it. The world would be better if people just cut the bullshit and say what they mean.” Dash explained. “Well since you feel that way Dash, now might be a good time to tell you that make out session we had last night didn’t mean anything.” Rarity explained. “What?” Dash was shocked. “I sometimes get a little lesbo when I drink. No big deal.” Rarity brushed it off. “Oh... o...okay...” Dash got quiet, sullen. Later, Rarity had elected to go on a shopping excursion, inviting along her friends, however only Pinkie Pie jumped at the chance. Twilight deciding only to come along as well at Rarity’s urging. “Do you want to come along, Rainbow Dash?” Twilight asked. “No...” Rainbow responded “I’m probably going to head back to the park later to have more fun.” What she didn’t want to say was the real reason: She didn’t desire to be around Rarity at that moment. “What about you, AppleJack? Maybe we could find something for that isn’t quite so... country? Mmmm?” Rarity asked. A shaky Fluttershy emerged from the bathroom, and made her way over to sit down on the bed. Jack didn’t say a word, just nodded with her head that seemed to indicate she aimed to babysit her friend. “Okay well, we will be back in couple hours... C’mon girls!” Rarity declared, as they exited the room. “Dear me, I really hope Rainbow Dash isn’t holding a grudge against me for the other night.” Rarity confessed. “What exactly did you two do?” Twilight asked as they walked down the hotel hallway. “Well we made out a little.” Rarity blushed “Oh my!” Twilight smiled “Oh my Gosh! Are you coming out Rarity?” Pinkie jumped “No one has ever came out to me before! I can’t imagine why....” “No no” Rarity laughed “It’s just something I do when I find myself a little tipsy.” “Oh now that I think about it, I really hope Spike didn’t see it.” thought Twilight “Why you’re right, something like an exploration of female sexuality is not something a baby dragon like him should be exposed to yet.” Rarity agreed. “No I mean-” Twilight began before Pinkie cut her off with a glare. “For. Eve. Er.” Pinkie whispered. Then nodding her head towards the approaching Spike walking in the opposite direction. “Oh hi Spikey!” Rarity said cheerfully “Where have you been all night Spike?” Twilight asked Spike just kept walking straight, mumbling that he slept near the hotel pool, and returned to the hotel room. “Sheesh... What a grump!” Noted Pinkie Pie
Go Directly To Jail. Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect $200Chapter 4: Go Directly To Jail, Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect $200 “Feeling better, sugarcube?” Applejack asked Fluttershy. “Much.” Fluttershy responded. “Don’t ever do that again, Fluttershy, if you have a problem speak up. We are your friends, we’ll always help you.” Applejack explained, placing her hoof on Fluttershy’s knee, smiling. “Now what do you want to do today huh? Maybe get something in your stomach? Maybe we could go back to the water park in a bit?” “I really don’t want to impose on you.” Fluttershy lied. “Aw, c’mon darling,” Applejack persuaded “What’s something fun you want to do?” “Well.. It’s a little boring but...” Fluttershy mumbled “Maybe we could play Ponopoly?” “Why sure!” Applejack smiled, despite the prospect of playing a board game when they were at this wonderful resort incredibly silly. “I just don’t know where we will get a board...” “I have a board!” Fluttershy squeaked, pulling the game box out of her suitcase in a haste. “Oh... ok” Applejack said bewildered “Hey, Rainbow Dash! You want to play a Ponopoly with us?” Dash weighed her feelings. on the one hand she didn’t really feel like playing the boring game, However she understood what AppleJack was really asking for was to help her raise Fluttershy’s mood. “Yeah, sure.” Dash got up and sat over on the bed where Fluttershy had set up the board. “Okay... Now no one can be the Scottie-dog, ‘cause that’s my favorite.” Fluttershy explained. “’Kay, shotty Racecar!” Dash said quickly “Darn it!” Applejack cursed “I reckon I’ll be the top hat then.” Spike then entered the hotel room. “Hey Spike! Would you like to play Ponopoly with us?” Fluttershy asked. Spike glared at the four of them, but he couldn’t find it in him to be rude to Fluttershy. “Racecar taken?” he asked “’Fraid Rainbow called it all ready.” Answered AppleJack “Shocker.” he said unenthusiastically, then declaring he’d be the warship. An hour later, Dash and Spike were locked in hyper competition.... “Hey yall come on, calm down, it’s just a game.” AppleJack cautioned. “Okay, I’ll trade Park Place for your orange properties Dash.” Fluttershy agreed. “Wait!” Spike called out “The entire slums, and the train station.” and countered offered. “Spike, she already agreed to a deal with me.” Said Dash annoyed. Spike didn’t respond to her. He couldn’t let Dash gain both properties, his ego wouldn’t allow it. Steal my woman and the game? Fuck that noise! he thought. “5 Gold coins.” Offered Spike, taking the real-world currency from his person and dropping it into the center of the board. “DEAL!” Fluttershy agreed, scooping up the coins. “What about your deal with me?” Dash spoke “Well do you have 6 coins?” Fluttershy asked. “No-What? This isn’t how you play the game! Offering real money is cheating.” Dash whined. “Gee, I bet you know a lot about that, huh?” Spike grumbled as he liberated Park Place from Fluttershy, who smiled at AppleJack. “Did you see? I was soooo assertive!” She said proudly to AppleJack “Yes, you sure were, sugarcube.” Applejack hastily acknowledge “Now, c’mon yall calm down.” “What is that suppose to mean?” Roared Dash “I don’t cheat.” “...Or ya know, don’t” Jack muttered to herself. “Taking advantage of my girlfriend when she’s drunk off her rocker with booze isn’t cheating?” Spike ceased beating around the bush. The room feel silent, and time froze, and eye before the storm. Fluttershy, oblivious to it, casually reached across the board and picked up the dice. “Calm on Free Parking!” She called out. “She’s not your girlfriend, Spike.” Dash whispered softly. The brought up of Rarity again in her head bringing her own ill feelings of rejection earlier. Spike however, felt no sadness. Like a true dragon he felt nothing but a horrible burning rage. He knocked over the game board just as Fluttershy’s piece was about to land on Free Parking. “You... You...” He stammered, raising his pointing hand at Rainbow Dash as the Ponopoly money and hotels fell around them like dying leaves. “YOU STUPID FLAMING QUEER! YOU’VE RUINED EVERYTHING!” Dash’s eyes got angry “What did you just call me?” Applejack stepped in front of her. “Whoa, hold your horses there partner.” Jack warned “NO! NO I WON’T CALM DOWN!” He sobbed “I’VE WORKED... SO HARD... TO GET HER TO LIKE ME, AND THEN YOU COME IN AND RUIN THAT FOR ME! YOU COULD OF CONVERTED ANY FUCKING MARE, WHY’D YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE MINE?” “You don’t own her like property, dipshit!” Rainbow raged back. “Spike, you need to calm down.” Applejack repeated. “FUCK. YOU. I DON’T HAVE TO CALM DOWN!” He raged. “You better if you don’t want my hoof up your ass!” Snapped Rainbow Dash “Soooo not helping Dash!” AppleJack commented, facepalming herself. Just then, the door locked click, Rarity re-entered the room with shopping bags, Twilight and Pinkie Pie in toe.
BankruptcyChapter 5: Bankruptcy “Oh girls!” Rarity called out joyfully, “You will not believe the nice little number I found in the nearby mall.” Only to go wide-eyed at the dishevelment of the room, the angry eyes on two of her friends faces and Fluttershy still awkwardly frozen in mid-placing her piece on the now-nonexistent game board. “What’s going on here?” Twilight asked “Oh my gosh, were you guys playing a game?” Jumped Pinkie “I love games! What is it? Scrabble? Battleship?” Spike looked down at Rainbow Dash “Just Ponopoly.” Spike muttered. “Things, uh, got a little heated. I was trying to get Fluttershy to be more assertive.” Explained Applejack, awkwardly. “Pardners, can I speak to you outside for a minute?” Rainbow Dash caught on to what Applejack was doing, and wanted none of it. “Rarity, ask you a personal question? All your former boyfriends have been Colts right?” “Well, they were hardly what I would call a REAL colt, darling.” Rarity flipped her bangs, laying her bags on the floor and then lounging herself on the bed. “Yeah but nonetheless, they were ponies right? Strictly speaking, not birds, or rocks, or reptiles. You don’t play that way right?” Asked Rainbow Dash, smirking an evil grin as she stared at Spike. Rarity got a disgusted look on her place “Are you implying I’m some sort of sexual deviant? Regardless, yes they’ve all been Colts.” She said defensively. “What about that giant rock that Discord tricked you into believing was a gem?” Remembered Pinkie Pie. “WE ARE NEVER TO SPEAK OF THAT AGAIN! WE AGREED!” Rarity snapped. “Actually only you agreed to that, Rarity.” Spoke Twilight “And since I still have back spasms from lugging that thing around for you, I’m not going to cease making sure you don’t live it down for a while.” “Ugh!” Rarity groaned “Why all this sudden interest in my personal life?!” “’Cause both Rainbow Dash and Spike wanna plow your beanfield silly!” Exclaimed Pinkie Pie. “My... Bean field?” Rarity said in confusion and horror, glancing at the pegasus and the dragon. “Yeah you know, the hanky panky, the doodlehutzits, whoopie, making love, sexual intercourse, fucking.” Pinkie went on “You know, like when two special someponies love each other very much-” “I know what sex is, Pinkie Pie, thank you!” snapped Rarity. “Twilight! You told Pinkie?” Spike said, his rage growing again. “That was suppose to be a secret!” “Sorry Spike.” Twilight responded. “Oh don’t apologize Twilight, I mean... it’s sooooo obvious. I mean Rainbow Dash was more or less an educated guess but everypony, and I mean EVERYPONY in Ponyville knows you like Rarity. I mean like, DUH, it’s so obvious, ya know? You’d have to be like, a self-absorbed moron not to realize it.” Explained Pinkie, causing Rarity to blush in embarrassment. “Well I must say, I’m flattered that the both of you think I’m marvelous enough to fight over...” Spoke a flustered Rarity. “Well then, since the cats out of the bag, who do you pick? Huh?” Rainbow Dash asked boldly. “Choose? Oh... no no no no no.” Rarity laughed “Look I’m sorry, both of you, I really am but... Rainbow I’m simply not.... swinging that way, as it were? And Spike...” The little dragon’s head didn’t move from the soft spot on the ground “...Look you’re a nice boy and all, but the fact is- you’re a dragon. Dragon’s and ponies can’t be together, it defies nature!” “Don’t swing that way? Don’t swing that way?!” Dash’s voice raised. Rarity blushed “I told you this morning, it’s only when I drink I-” “Look if you want to stay in the closet? Fine. But I’m done trying to make believe what we had last night wasn’t a shared moment.” Dash outpoured herself “I felt something when we kissed.” “Well I don’t remember it.” Rarity brushed it off. “It meant nothing.” “It meant nothing?!” Responded Dash, jaw dropped. “The ruby.” Spike spoke, a hair above a whisper. “The heart shaped ruby I gave you. Did that mean nothing either?” his head didn’t look up from the floor. “Look I’m sorry if I was leading the two of you on, I honestly didn’t believe either one of those actions would create so much drama.” Rarity express, sincerely. “I was going to land on Free Parking...” Fluttershy squeaked. “I was winning.” All heads turned to the pink-haired mare. “Yes, sugarcube, we know...” Applejack said reassuringly. “Ohhh do you want to play again? I’ll play! I love playing checkers!” Pinkie exclaimed. Fluttershy gently passed Pinkie away and rose to her feat. “Look. Whatever.” Dash said in a huff, returning her attention to Rarity “Next time you want to play it all bi-curious choose another mare.” She floated over to the other bed, turning away from all of them. “Rarity...” Spike cried “I thought we had something...” He stuttered “Something special.” “Spike...” She looked on sympathetically “I’m sorry. I do care about you, but I don’t return those feelings.” “But everything... I did everything I could for you!!” Spike protested, in midst of downfall looking to Twilight “Why isn’t everything working out?!” “Spike-” Twilight began in a motherly tone, which was cut short by Rainbow Dash from across the room. “Because life doesn’t work that way. Sometimes it doesn’t matter how badly you want something or how hard your work. You’re just gonna fail.” Dash shut her eyes tight “Face it. It’s reality.” Spike’s gaze returned to Rarity and the quills on his back spurned, he lowered his head and fire began to pour from his nose. He had gone feral, the reality of the situation producing such a festering hate that if he got his hands on Rarity he wasn’t certain if he’d rape or murder her. Two hooves grabbed Spike by the head and spun him around. The eyes of the now feral Spike locked in Fluttershy’s devastating stare. “You are going to calm down, and pick up the pieces of the game board this instant mister.” Fluttershy ordered. Spike’s response was to continue to huff and puff. “I said, PICK UP THE BOARD!” Spike roared. “Do you think I’m scared of you? You have no idea what real emotional pain feels like, like I do. Now you will do as I say, or else!” Fluttershy reiterated. “Or what?!” Spike growled “This!” Fluttershy yelled back, smashing her face into Spike’s in a devastating heabutt. As spike reared, she floated around him and snatched him up in her front legs. The baby dragon promptly pried himself free from her grasp, and slashed her in the face with his claw. “YOU LEAVE ME ALONE!” He dropped to the ground. “Ah my face!” Fluttershy covered it, shrieking. “THIS IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS FLUTTERSHY!” Spike raged Twilight turned to Fluttershy “Are you all right?” “I think he broke the skin...” She said, allowing Twilight to get a closer look. She was right, Fluttershy’s face was a preverbal crimson mask. A wild crazy expression came over her face. “That’s it.” She said, charging at him! “No! Just!” Twilight cringed “At least don’t make him bleed!” She’d all but given up. Striking and tumbling on the ground, neither side seemed to be able to get any real advantage. Spike was a tornado, a whirlwind of pure emotion, and anger. Fluttershy was wild, filled with angst and unimaginable rage that had been powder kegged for far to long “Screw you and your pathetic love obsession!” Fluttershy yelled “I could of finally won for a game!” “FUCK YOU!” He roared back, headbutting himself free from her, breaking her nose. “Oh you...” Fluttershy charged, kicking Spike with her hind legs and accidentally sending him through the balcony window, spilling over the railing. Twilight, Realizing Fluttershy’s error, jumped at the chance to save her baby dragon with a levitation spell. Spike floated safely back to the balcony the fright of the near death experience sobering him from anger. Fluttershy collapsed the to ground, horrified by her own actions “Oh dear!” She cried. “Damn it!” Spike punched the ground “Why couldn’t you have let me fall and die in peace!” “GOD DAMN IT!” Rainbow Dash hollered, rolling out her bed confronting him. “Do you realize that not everything in your life revolves around you?” She asked “Do you every think for 5 damn minutes that maybe your actions or your suicide may affect us all?” Rainbow Dash sighed “I don’t want you to die kid. Pinkie doesn’t. You know Rarity doesn’t. Neither does Apple Jack or Fluttershy. And Twilight? She’s practically your mom.” She added “She doesn’t want you to die either.” Spike cried “I’m... I’m sorry.” In the wake of the relief that the near death experience caused, Spike looked around the room at his friends stopping squarely on Rarity, and acting on the intense pain, this time he leaped off the balcony. There would be no magic net to catch him this time, shutting his eyes right before his head hit smack into the sidewalk below, the fluids contained within his skull creating a halo around his head. No moved, no one said a word, they just sat in the horror of it all. It was far to messed up to understand, or even acknowledge how their vacation forged from their friendship had in fact led to it’s destruction. Spike’s death was merely the exclamation point, at which their happy and mostly secure world had been flipped over completely. Their friendship would not endure.
