The Sea Singer

The Sea SingerChapter Two: The Ladies Man

Captain's Monologue

- July 24th, Year Fourteen of the sixth age

Just finished "acquiring" my latest shipment of Serenity Island's finest liquor at fifteen bitsa unit. Cobb didn't give me too much trouble this time around, only onepony got shot. And thank Luna it wasn't me, though business with him will be a mite rougher if we tried to do any trading in the Serenity area again.

We were getting real close Canterlot last time I checked. Log says we haven't been there in a hundred and three days, the crew could sure as Tartarus use some shore leave right now. Even I wouldn't mind a nice vacation... right after I do this next deal. Should net us a decent amount of Platinum, enough to keep Sea Singer floating for a good while.

-4 crates

-112 bottles/crate

-15b/ea cost

-448 bottles total (minus one or two that the crew snagged)

-15×4×112= 6720b ÷10= 672plat. (Damn abacus. Gave Cobb 680plat)

-No idea how much I can squeeze Berry for (20b? Possible, but not probable)

Note to self: Don't get her drunk again, she argues better when she's drunk.

Knock knock.

My train of thought was immediately derailed by an abrupt knocking on my quarters' door, both Easybreeze and I whipped our heads to the entrance.

     "Come in."

     Derpy Hooves opened the door and sauntered in, casually munching on a banana-nut muffin. "Hay, Capp'n." she said around a mouthful of baked goods "There's a couple of EBRoT pegasai that flew on the deck. They were asking for you."

     "Crap, not these clowns again." I hissed under my breath "Are they asking for me by name, or just trying to figure out who's in charge?"

     "By name."

     "Double crap." I sighed and let my head droop to the point of knocking it on the edge of the desk with a dull thud.

     I should probably explain, EBRoT was an acronym for Equestrian Beru for the Regulation of Trade. Princess Celestia, in her infinite wisdom, had it thrown up three years after the Curse to organize some of the inter-city commerce so it wasn't as much as a cluster buck as it was back in the day. The EBRoT really worked well for awhile, but some bureaucrat up in some high chair decided that the beru didn't put enough ponies in jail to satisfy them, and so he or she gave enough power to EBRoT to keep the whole damn economy under an iron hoof.

     The ponies aboard were likely the trade police, they mostly handle ponies who try to move around "outlawed goods" under their noses. Ever since the Canterlot Prohibition Initiative was thrown up, they've jailed dozens of captains like me for the possession of alcoholic beverages.

     I turned in my seat to regard Easybreeze on the bed behind me "Wish me luck."

     "Good luck, you're going to need it." my neice deadpanned. Smart girl, that one.

    I grabbed my beloved turncoat and hat off their hangar and slipped them on, they fit me like a second skin "Aye, that I will."

   X-X-X-X-X

     On the main deck stood three steel-grey pegasai ponies, all clad in identical white and blue cloth uniforms. I had not a clue as to why the lower ranking gaurds, soliders, and government officals always had to have grey or white coats that were exactly the same color with no variation from pony to pony. Seriously,  am I the only pony around here who's ever noticed this? Was it fur dye? Enchanted clothes? Were all the grey or white mares and stallions in the Green Sea magically predestined to work for our government as grunts? No that can't be it, I can name at least ten grey or white ponies that are either crooks or thieves and hate the government with a passion. Confound these ponies, they drive me to think.

     I got a litte off-topic there...Ahem.

     The EBRoT officers received cross looks and wary glances from the crewponies as they tried to go about their work like nothing was wrong. But the fact of the matter was, there was most definitely something wrong. EBRoT ponies never ask for you by name if it was just a routine inspection, they just ask for the captain to sign off on a paper that says he knows his ship was being inspected, pretty standard stuff. Every sailor worth a damn knows that.

     But when the officers ask to see a specific pony, nine times out of ten it means that somepony had tipped them off about ceartian illegal goods that may or may not have been on the ship. The other one time was when they temporarily draft you and your crew into the military. Depending on who you ask, that's even worse than getting caught smuggling alcohol.

     'You've handled worse before, Cloud, old buddy.'my inner voice tried to tell me 'You can deal with these cops, no problem.

     I straightened my faded hat an duster in a ditch attempt to look even a little presentable, which was hard considering how many holes were torn through my clothes. Trotting up to the lawponies, I said in a friendly tone "Can I help you fine, young officers of the law?"

     A fourth pony revealed herself from behind the other three, this one actually wasn't grey, she was a yellow pegasus mare. And judging by the silver bars on her fancy hat, she was a Lieutenant. "It depends," she said in a bored voice "are you Captian Cloudstrider of the airship Sea Singer?"

     I took off my hat and put it to my chest in a suave showpony's bow "At your service, ma'am" I said humbly.

     "Humph." the Lieutenant grunted "I'd like to ask you a few... questions on behalf of the Equestrian Beru for the Regulation of Trade."

     I mentally fadehoofed 'Oh for the love of... These government ponies never ever tell you anything outright!' Can't they just say "Oh hey, by the way, we know you have over four hundred bottles of illegal moonshine in your cargo hold! Stick 'em up!"

     I put the hat back to it's rightful place atop my head and offered the officer a small smile "Do I have a choice?"

     "No." she deadpaned.

     My smile faded away "Uh, okay. How about we go someplace more private to chat, yeah?"

     Lt. Kill-Joy narrowed her beady little eyes "Actually, I'd prefer it that we speak in your cargo hold-" she hoofed me a scroll, sealed with the offical EBRoT logo "-We have a warrant to search your hold for any goods banned in the Canterlot area."

     Ponyfeathers.

     "Just a sec." I said, opening the scroll. I skimmed over all the booring legal crap as I held the document to the sun, a fancily designed stamp of approval was visible only when I held it at a ceartian angle, and dissapeared in the direct sunlight. This definitely wasn't a fake. Some EBRoT officers in the past have made it a habbit to give known smugglers forged warrants so they wouldn't have to request one from their higher-ups, speeding the legal process up, not to mention nab a hefty commission they recive for bringing the poor sailors to "justice."'

     "Looks legit." I motioned to the staircase that went below deck "Follow me."

X-X-X-X-X

     The cargo hold was, naturally, the largest room on the ship. The Sea Singer was a Mk. I Gemini-Model airship, meaning she was built for long voyages over the Green Sea while hauling obscene amounts of cargo. The room was about ten feet tall and sixteen feet wide, loaded with dozens of wodden crates filled to the brim with various goods that were both for the crew and for trade. It was fitted with a large drawbridge-like door for easy loading and offloading, said door was big enough to drive a carriage through, which I have done many times before.

     I tried to keep the best poker face that I could while the three privates turned the cargo bay upside down. They went around the room levitating crowbars and prying open all the crates and peering in. Searches were always a long and mundane process since the officers had to restowe all the cargo that they opened and rummaged through.

     "So what is your purpose here in Canterlot City?" the still-unnamed officer mare asked in a very businesslike tone.

     "Trade." I said with as little emotion as I could manage "What else would a legitimate businesspony like myself be doing in Canterlot airspace?"

     She shot a sideways glance at me "We'll see soon enough...So what are you planning to buy or sell, Mister Strider?"

     "See for yourself." I told her, making a sweeping gesture toward the opened crates. "We've got crates of corn, wheat, grain, mostly crops in high demand 'round these parts."

     The Lieutenant's frown deepened "And where did you aquire these goods?"

     I mentally rolled my eyes "The only place in Equestria where you can get fresh harvest in decent bulk, the Macintosh Mesas." I resisted the urge to add a "duh" at the end of it. The Macintosh Mesas were one of the only growth-free areas with fertile soil left in Equestria. The whole chain of "islands," which were actually tall mesas, produced enough food to keep the country afloat for decades. "You didn't even know that?"

     "Don't get snappy with me." the officer growled, taking a step toward me "I know your type, you think you're contraband is all safe and secure, squirreled away in some little corner of this ship. I tell you, these ponies are the best at what they do. I have not a doubt in my mind that they'll expose you for the smuggler you a-"

     "It's clean, ma'am!" one of the privates shouted from across the room.

     Lt. Nofun whipped her head around and gave that poor colt a glare that could've stopped an elderly pony's heart "What?!"

     Despite the colt's extensive military training that was supposed to teach him to resist hardcore torture and interregations, he couldn't help but shudder under his superior officer's gaze. "Uh, m-ma'am-" he stuttered "There's no outlawed goods in this cargo hold, it's all legal."

     The mare whirled back to me, I affixed her with a mischievous smile, which infuriated the damned harpy to no end and made me want to laugh my flank off. "This. Proves. Nothing!" she hissed, giving me the impression of an angry, poisonous snake.

     "If you want something done..." The mare stomped off and shoved the innocent private aside, she craned her neck and took in everything there was to see in my cargo bay. The Lieutenant paced back and forth running her hooves over the all crates and the walls.

     The officer stopped suddenly, a wicked grin apprearing on her muzzle "What's that I hear?" she put a hoof to her ear and used the other to paw at the floorboards "This board sounds a little...loose."

     Horseapples. I spotted the lose board and immediately tensed up "I, uh, I ought to get that fixed...yeah." I said shakily.

     The officer wordlessly motioned for her lackeys to go to work. The privates dutifully complied and one swift motion later, the board was out and my ship had a gaping hole in it's cargo hold.

     "It's empty ma'am."

     Her eye twitched.

      Say what? Empty? I could have sworn that I had the crew stow it under the loose boards this time...or was it in the wall? Maybe I told them to hide it in that little nook in the crew's quarters, but that dosen't seem like a good idea to leave the sailors alone with copius amounts of moonshine. There's also that spot in the infirmary, but that's too small for all that cargo. I sighed. Celestia damn me and my old age! Pretty soon I'd be forgetting what I had for breakfast.

     Disregarding my misplaced booze, this little episode of mine was a stroke of pure dumb luck. That is, if the officer wasn't obsessive enough to search the entire ship. Belive me, there's enough crawl space in Sea Singer to smuggle a small town into Canterlot Castle itself, provided I pull the right strings of coarse.

     "Well would'ja lookit that!" I said with an exaggerated tone of suprise. I turned toward the door to the hallways and hollered "Hey Derps, looks like were not criminal scum after all!"

     Derpy Hooves, who had been listening in the whole time, popped into the room and dramatically slapped her forehead "Wait, you mean we're not smugglers?!"

     "Nope!" I chirped in reply "It turns out little miss police officer here was wrong." I shot the Lieutenant a glance and a wry smirk.

     "Well geez, Cloud." Derpy said, unable to contain her smiles "I could have sworn that we just bought a dozen kilos of cocaine last month..." For the record,  I don't sell drugs. Derps was just being commendably sarcastic.

     "This is horseapples!" The still unnamed officer growled. She made it a point to get all up in my personal space and poke an accusing hoof to my chest, subtly reminding me that she was a good two inches taller than me "My informant told me that you were trying to smuggle enough moonshine to get Princess Luna herself tipsy! My sources never lie!"

     I looked defiantly up into her furious, light brown eyes. Come to think of it, this mare was actually kinda pretty, with her vividly colored orange-on-orange mane that reminded me of a flickering campfire and her dandelion yellow coat that accented her hair quite nicely. I should really look this lady up some time...

     Regardless of prettiness, she was still pissed at me to no end. So, to counteract her bad mood, I literally and heartily laughed right in her face. It wasn't a mocking or a condescending laugh, it was like one of those good-natured laughs that a pair of mutual acquaintances would have as they shared a bad joke and a bottle of overpriced champagne at one of those fancy-as-all-get-out parties in Canterlot. A sort of, casual laugh.

     The officer mare gave me a piercing glare that I'm sure has used to make many a delinquent pony throw themselves off the side of a ship into the Everfree forest below out of pure shame.

     "I'm sorry to say, Lieutenant,  it looks like this informant of yours mislead you." I said, taking on my signature salespony tone "We here on the Sea Singer pride ourselves in being one hundred percent felony-free. You can do extensive backround checks on every darn pony on this boat, they'll likely come out cleaner than the bathroom stalls in Canterlot Castle." Have you ever actually seen the bathroom in there? You could eat a whole mess of hay fries off the floor and not feel totally disgusted afterwards!

     "You're bluffing!" The EBRoT lady accused "There's not a single pony on this ship that's that clean." See? Even the inspection wench agreed how clean those stalls are, and she hates my guts right now.

     I cocked a sly eyebrow at her "Even you?" Somewhere behind me, Derpy snickered.

     "Don't change the subject!" Noname growled back.

     "Actually," I began, shifting to a more businesslike tone "That'd be the best thing to do seeing as how you're interrogating a pony who you yourself proved to be innocent. That seems to me like something both EBRoT and other captains such as myself would take a mighty powerful offense from. I reckon you should stop while you're ahead, 'fore I contact your higher-ups about this." This was good, I had the high ground and I was on the offensive.

     Like most smart ponies, the yellow pegaus said nothing in retort, she instead silently fumed at me, letting the smoke coming from her ears do the talking.

     "In conclusion, you have nothing left to do here. Get the hell off my ship." I finished with a smartass smirk. Rarely ever did I get to kick ponies off The Singer, and I savored it each and every time. It's good to be the captain.

     "This isn't over." the officer said more calmly than I would have ever expected "There will be a reckoning,  belive me."

     My eyes rolled, but it was Derpy, who had been mostly silent, who voiced my thoughts "Why are you so sure that we're breaking the law?" she asked, cocking head.

     The officer didn't reply, she instead turned to leave the ship, blank expression on her face. She motioned for her lackeys to follow, and they did so with robotic discipline.

     She was halfway out the door when I stopped her "Hey, wait." The mare cocked an eyebrow "Do you maybe wanna go grab lunch sometime? I mean, I know you might think it's your sworn duty to put me in a small four-foot-by-four cell to rot, but that's no reason two civilized ponies could-"

     "Are you mocking me?" The officer asked in a apathetic voice.

     "Maybe a little." I answered honestly  "Then again, maybe I just want to get to know this pretty yellow mare in front of me a little better." Suave, Cloud, real suave.

She sighed "You, sir, can go throw yourself off the side of this floating heap of scrap wood that you call a ship and buck yourself with a flaming cactus."

     Ouch. Right in the gnards.

     Regardless of that low blow, I seductivly wiggled my eyebrows at her obvious display of affection for me "Classy lady, I like that. What's your name, Miss Class?"

     A roll of the eyes "Spitfire."

     "If you can't do lunch, do you want to grab a cup of coffe some time? Maybe when all this inspection business is ov-- Hey, where are you going?!"

     And just like that, she left, slamming the door behind her.

     "Did he just ask out an Ex-Wonderbolt?" Derpy Hooves asked nopony in particular.

    "Wait, I hit on a celebrity?" I answered with another question "Huh, that's...new. I guess I can check another thing off my bucket list."

     "Asking out a celebrity is on your bucket list?" Derpy asked, completely serious.

     "What? I'm a simple kinda stallion, with simple kinds of desires."

     She half chuckled and shook her head dissapointedly "If you say so, Captain."

     "What?" I echoed.

X-X-X-X-X

     Canterlot.

     Hooooo boy, this place has really changed since I was a foal. What was once a small city of hoity toity nobles clambering to kiss Princess Celestia's hooves has now become a gargantuan metropolis where all the social classes can mix and mingle. After a decade of nonstop construction, The elegant white and gold spires had multiplied just as fast as the trees in the Everfree below. No longer was it a sickening cluster of pretentiously decorated mansions and overpriced shops, it had become a city worthy of being called "Capital of Equestria."

     When Nature's Curse took hold of the country, Canterlot was the number one place to seek refuge from the dark woods. Being smack-dab in the middle of Equestria and one of the only cities out of reach, thousands of ponies from all over rushed to seek safety on top of the mountain.

     I was there during that period, so trust me when I tell you that it wasn't a pretty sight. The only comfortable way to get up to the city proper was by train or by airship. Trains tend to become utterly useless when the tracks are torn up by invasive roots, and there weren't as many airships as there are now. Damn near a dozen ponies got either hurt or killed trying to scale the mountain on their own. It's a wonder what crazy things a pony could do when they're being pushed to it.

     Canterlot's a whole hell of a lot more stable now that the citizens got elbow room. The city was about six times the size that it was twelve years ago. It wraped all the way around it's mountain now, like a crown atop a head, or a ring on a finger.

     I was leaning over the railing up on the deck, watching the grand city draw nearer and nearer. Derpy Hooves was at my side, we chatted idly about how we both hate inspections and the major amounts of teeth-gritting suspense that they bring.

     "Where did the shipment go, by the way?" I finnaly asked her. "I specifically told you to hide it in the nook under the floorboards. Not that I'm complaining. Whatever you did, it saved my flank."

     My first mate gave me a cheek-tearing grin "We chucked it in the garbage bay!"

     "Youwhatnow? The garbage?"

     "Yeah!" she said proudly exclaimed "Thought of that one myself. I figured those cops would be paying too much attention to the little nooks and crannies that could be our hiding spots. The best place to hide it was in plain sight. Plus, most Canterlot types would rather fall on their sword before they dig around in the trash."

     I shook my head in minor disbelief, small smile on my face "Derpy, have I ever told you that you're a genius?"

     "Many times!" she giggled  "But I wouldn't mind hearing it just once more."

     I happily obliged "Derps, You're a genius."

     Scootaloo brought The Sea Singer around to the north side of Canterlot, the side that had a lot more grey in it's construction than the rest of the city. This was the port and middle-lower class housing section, where small time mom and pop stores and big companies alike tried to hawk their wares to traveling sailors like myself and the crew.

     Finding a good pier to tie The Singer down to was always a real pain in the flank. Compared to most other boats in the sky, my lady was a little on the chunky side. You had to have a big ship to haul decent amounts of cargo around The Green Sea, a trader with a boat that can't hold much is like a pegasus with only one wing. They both just end up lamely flying in circles until they crash and burn.

     On top of having trouble finding a parking space, one of those freakin' EBRoT officers charged me fifteen whole Platinum a day to moor the the ship. Fifteen! That's enough to buy half the crew a pint of beer back at Serenity Island.

     I paid the cop three days worth of highway robbery and the crew rushed out of the cargo bay doors like they were late for an appointment, all looking as giddy as Applebloom in an engine garage. Though I didn't blame them, Canterlot was one of the best cities to find entertainment in, second only to the sinful casinos and swanky showrooms of Las Pegasus.

     Derpy was the only one to stay behind with me, we both prefered eachother's company when on shore trips. Mostly because I always went on jobs that I needed her to help me with. Now I'm the probably the best damn salespony in The Green Sea, but you can already tell that I'm not much of a people pony when trade isn't involved.  That's why I needed my first mate, she had a personality more bubbly than a club soda and brighter than a flash of lightning. There ain't a damn pony in Equestria that she couldn't have gotten on the good side of.

     We trotted along through the dirty, rusty streets of downtown. I would tell you that this place had seen better days, but that would have been a lie. Downtown had always been this shifty looking and deeply commited to the color grey since the ribbon was cut. This place was built to be functional,  not fancy. So instead of the glittering marble houses and cobblestone streets of Oldtown, this sector was comprised of square concrete apartments and wrought iron fences. It was a gloomy color scheme for sure, but I'd take it any day over the crusty upper-crust parts of this city.

     Both sets of eyes were peeled for Berry Punch, she should have been wandering the streets at this time of day. Berry could sometimes be either an easy or hard pony to find depending on you luck. She was normally off running the local speakeasy at night, but nopony had a clue as to what she did in the daytime. We just assumed that she led a normal life outside the bar. Then again, Berry Punch was not a normal pony.

     We spent the next hour aimlessly wandering about this section of city, searching for purple eyes, purple coat, and purple mane that made up Punch. We probably should have thought up a decent method to finding one pony in a city of thousands and thousands, but hey, where's the adventure in that? The speakeasy is closed during the day, so that was more or less the only place in Canterlot that we weren't going to find her.

     "Agggh!" I cried in frustration "How can a pony so damn purple be so damn hard to find?"

     "Maybe we should, I don't know, ask somepony?" Derpy dryly suggested, fixing me with a deadpan stare with one of her eyes.

     "That, my friend," I said "is a good idea. Now I remember why I hired you in the first place."

     My first mate rolled her eyes, which is quite funny to watch because of her condition "And I'm supposed to be the ditz."

     "Who should we ask?" I asked, craning my neck to pick out somepony walking the streets who looked like the type to know where to find a liquor salespony. "Though, I don't think it's a good idea to ask a random pony something like "Hey, have you seen that one pony who runs a highly illegal operation out of her inn? I'm fixin' to sell her some moonshine strong enough peel the paint off of an airship."

"Okay, that's a good point." she admitted "But how else are we gonna find her?"

     "Well, we could just wait til nighttime." I offered "But she'd probably be too damn busy tending the place to hammer out a decent agreement."

    Derpy nodded "Yeah, but it's the best we can come up with for now." I said nothing and merely grunted in agreement.

     I checked my watch, twelve-oh-eight, we had about nine hours before nightfall hit, better find something to kill the time with.

     "Hey, do you want to go grab something to eat?" my first mate suggested "I dunno about you but my belly's growling like an angry Ursa right now."

     "Hmm, food that doesn't come prepackaged and have M-R-E spelled on the front?" I asked myself "How could I refuse?! Come on, I'll buy."

X-X-X-X-X

     We quickly found this greasy little place in the market district that sold big bowls of moderately editable stir-fried rice out of a stall. We grabbed two of those and took a seat on a concrete bench near the edge of the city.

     By edge of the city, I meant take a single step out of bounds and find youself tumbling down a steep mountainside. The only thing between our table and a long drop with a short stop was a five foot tall chain link fence. Like I said, downtown was built for practicality, and practicality doesn't always mean safety.

     Though I couldn't deny that view. The north side of Canterlot always had the best view of far-off Cloudsdale. The modest city of puffy white clouds and cascading rainbow falls had been Equestria's only source of weather before the curse. The factories that churned out rain clouds, thunderstorms, and rainbows had halted a while after The Curse. What's the point of weather if there's no one on the ground to benifit from it? Not only that, but whatever magic voodoo came from the Everfree turned all the clouds that passed over it feral, unable to be manipulated by pegasai.

     But even that didn't stop the rain from coming. Clouds started forming on their own, without any kind of pattern or logic. Sometimes weather happened, sometimes it didn't, we had no way of knowing when the next thunderstorm was going to be. Everything was random. It bugged the hell of everypony for a long time, but we eventually got used to the unpredictableness of it all and -- WOW! This fried rice tasted awesome!

     My train of thought crashed and burned like a pilotless airship the moment the food hit my tounge. Those pretentious hight-society types on the upper levels of the city pay hundreds of bits to sit around for an hour and a half in a "five star" restaurant until they are served the most mediocre food on the planet by an overdressed waiter. If those ponies weren't filty ritch, I'd pity them, because the real food is down here amongst the dirty middle-class ponies, being sold on the streets for less than ten bits a serving. Sure, it was probably very bad for my health at this age, but by Celestia it was worth it!

     Wait, that was I talking about before? Oh yeah, Cloudsdale.

     I was actually born there, you know. That would immediately raise the point "But you're an earth pony, and Cloudsdale is made of...well, clouds!" And what a surprise it was for my parents, too! You see, my mom and pop were both regular pegasai with a recessive earth pony gene handed down from their grandparents. Naturally certain complications arose, what with the possibility of not having a floor to stand on.

     Funny thing was, I'm not full earth pony. According to my parents, the doctor that delivered me was trying so hard not to drop me on the puffy cloud floor that he actually did drop me. Instead of passing through and falling to a horribe death that would have traumatized my parents to no end, I was just cradled by the clouds like any other normal pegasus.

     So far as I've heard, that's only happened nine times in recorded history. It turns out, I'm not a real earth pony, just a wingless pegasus. I have the internal magical powers of one, like moving clouds around and stuff, but none of the bone-breaking strength or the crop-growing green hoof of an earther. I was caught in a big ol' grey area.

     So that's where my name comes from. Cloud. Strider. My parent's weren't very creative with names, but it was too fitting to pass up.

     Anyway, Derpy and I eagerly finished the rest of the stir-fry without a word. With full bellys and happy smiles, we left the table in search of something else to pass the time.

X-X-X-X-X

     My first mate and I decided to go our separate ways for the time being, agreeing to give one-another a holler if either found Berry Punch during their shenanigans.

     Derpy wandered once she caught a whiff of what the local pastry bakery was cooking up. I decided that it was high-time that I got all those damned holes in my brown turncoat and hat patched. And what better pony to get repairs from than the same fine lady who crafted it in the first place?

     I made my way out of Downtown and trotted into the aptly named "Midtown." Midtown, as you might expect, was somewhere in between the tacky architecture of Uptown and the scruffy minimalism of Downtown. The buildings were much less bare than they were before, but not to the point of being too flashy for it's own good. They were less like concrete boxes and more like proper homes, it actually reminded me of a lot of the cottages back in Ponyville that once was.

     Here in this section of Canterlot stood my desired destination; Canterlot Carousel Boutique. Blegh, I can't even write that name without feeling just a little bit more feminine. I need to find the pony who invented the word "boutique" and kick his or her skinny little flank. Regardless of it's unappealing name, the shop's owner made the sturdiest damn clothes that I'd ever seen. The coat she made be back before Nature's Curse would probably last longer than I did.

     The shop itself looked exactly like every other building in Midtown; made of wood, brick, and concrete. It didn't look like her first shop, but you should have SEEN the one that the she ran back in Ponyville that once was, it just screamed "Makeovers and frilly lace!" like a crazy hobo in Manehattan's central park. The place reeked of pretty princesses and the color pink.

     I saw the "Open" sign in the window and trotted right in, the sweet-sound of a bell's jingle played as I opened the door and crossed into the shop. The room inside the Boutique looked like the old one had, only a little smaller in size, the sheer amount of bright colors and shiny sequins could have made my eyes water. Dresses and suits in all shapes and sizes were being proudly displayed gor sale, and at a fair price, too.

     I immediately noticed Sweetie Bell, who nearly blened in with the frilly colors, sitting in the corner at the cash register. She looked at me sheepishly. "Sorry about this, Captain." she said.

     "Sorry about wha--?" Before I could even finish voicing my confusion, my vision was filled with what looked suspiciously like a giant marshmallow. It was instantly followed by a blunt pain in my right eye.

     Turns out, a ceartian somepony's hoof looks a lot like the aforementioned puffy white candy. I was on the floor before I could make any connections in my brain. My body collided with the wodden flooring with a dull thud.

     "You scoundrel, you!" came an incredibly familar voice.

     "Ugh...Hello, Rarity." I groaned.

     "Of all the sailors on The Green Sea..." she continued, unperturbed by my greeting "You are by far the most untrustworthy, unintelligent, and unsophisticated pony that I've ever met!"

     "Nice to see you too." I dryly returned, picking myself up off the floor.

     That's the second mare whom I've incited the fury of today, hope I won't make this a habit.

     Ahh Rarity, by Luna's silvery moon, Rarity was a feisty one. She had a face that belonged on the cover of a magazine and a body that should have belonged to a supermodel. Her shiny amethyst purple hair was done in a wavy, curly style, one that looked like it took hours to prepare. Over the course of the twenty or so years that I knew her, she hadn't aged a day. Father Time had been much kinder to her than it had to me.

     Rarity wasn't all that pretty on that particular moment in time to me, I was too busy being terrified of her. The officer mare from this morning may have been just as mad as Rarity, but she couldn't have beaten me to a pulp, being bound by law and the strict standards of profesionalism and whatnot. But Rarity... Don't let her looks fool you, she could throw down just as hard and fast as any other stallion out there. She can get real mean and nasty when you press her Berserk Button, which I had unwittingly done.

     "How could you?!" the shopkeeper wailed in my face.

     "How could I what? I haven't done anything to you--" It was my own hoof that met my face this time in a rather epic facehoof. Of coarse I didn't do anything to her. She was mad because of Sweetie. I shot Rarity's sister a glance, she was intently staring at her own hooves to look back at me.

     "Listen..." I said as calmly disarmingly as I could "I'm sorry about Sweetie, I really am. But things happen when you're out at sea and there ain't nothin'--"

     "Horseapples!" Rarity cursed "You could have not sent her on that crazy mission in the fisrt place!"

     "I went willingly!" Sweetie weakly protested.

     "Irrelevant!" Rarity snapped at her sister. She grabbed the collar of my jacket with one hoof and pointed the other back at Sweetie Bell "Look at her, what do you see, Cloud?!"

     I did as she asked, Sweetie looked exactly the same as her usual self, with her off-white coat and her pink and purple mane that always reminded me of ice cream. What was not usual was the bandages wrapped tightly around her foreleg, which would have been barely visible if not for the little spot of blood that seeped through the wrappings.

     "She looks like Sweetie Bell." I said in a tone so dry it could have killed a camel of dehydration.

     "Look at her cutie mark!" Rarity hissed, small amounts of her saliva hit my muzzle "What is it?"

     "A...a bell with some music notes around it." I answered cautiously.

     "It's A BELL!" she cried "Not some big red target for shooting at. Her special talen it singing, not being immune to bullets!"

     "Well she knew what she was getting into when she signed on to The Singer!" I shouted back.

     "She was Ten. Years. Old!"

    "And she's handled everything that Equestria has thrown at her for all the time on my ship!" I argued "My hat has taken more bullets than she has!"

     "That is because you are always putting youself and your crew in danger!" Her face was becoming as red as an apple now.

      "You weren't there!" I shot back "The dangers out there are serious business,  that's why I made it a point avoid them whenever I can. You're just dramatizing it in your head."

     "Dramatizing?!" Rarity *cough cough* dramatically screeched.

     "Yeah, dramatizing." I vocally agreed with myself.

     "Why you little--!"

     "Will everypony just shut the hay up?!" Sweetie Bell had found her voice. Rarity and I were startled to hear her normally sweet voice in such a way, but we reluctantly did as told, scowls on our faces. She released my from her iron hoof and crossed her forelegs defeatedly.

     "Now that I have your attention..." Sweetie began in a scolding tone "I'm an fully grown mare now, and I can speak for myself. Rarity, aren't I right around the same age that you started saving the world and putting youself in worse danger than I ever did? Cloud is right, I can handle myself."

     Sweetie shot her sister a look that could have froze Tartarus in a block of ice, Rarity shrunk under it just the slightest bit. Score one for The Captain.

     "And Captain, Rarity is right, too. You both are." she went on "You put me and the crew in danger more times than I can even keep track of. This probably won't be the only time that I see the buisness end of a flintlock either." Sweetie trotted over and put a hoof on my shoulder, her expression lightening a little "But you took good care of us. I've never seen a single pony die in ten years on The Singer, all thanks to you and the others."

     She stopped and put a hoof to her chin thoughtfully "Though I do see ponies get shot on almost a daily basis, including yourself." she stated, eliciting a semi-horrified look from her sister. "Come to think of it, I should really start carrying a gun." Another horrified look from Rarity.

     "Ghastly..." she muttered, much of the anger from a minute before slowly vented itself out "How can you live like this, Sweetie?"

     My navigator gave her sister a noncommittal shrug "It's adventure. I like adventure. There'll always be something new to see, someplace new to go, or somepony new to meet. It's keeps you guessing, keeps you on your toes. Sure, it can be dirty, painful, and sometimes it can be downright cruel. But, as far as I've seen, it's always worth it in the end."

     Rarity sighed and ran a white hoof through her curly mane "Well I can't say I blame you." She looked at Sweetie and gave her a sad smile "Saving Equestria always did give me quite a thrill. Sometimes I miss our little adventures in Ponyville, no matter how dirty or uncouth they were. I guess wanderlust is in our blood, Sweetie. That certainly explains why our parents were always off vacationing someplace."

     Rarity moved a step closer to her sister and gave her a big affectionate hug, Sweetie rertuned it happily "You're getting to be just like me." Rarity murmured "Strong willed."

     "I'm sorry for yelling at you." Sweetie said, breaking the hug.

     "And I'm sorry for overreacting. " Rarity admittied.

      There was a short scilence, both sisters leveled an expectant look at me.

     "What?" I asked.

       Their stare only hardened.

     "What?"

     Sweetie coughed lightly, giving me a look that said "Say something idiot!"

     "Oh right, uhh... I'm sorry for..." What did I reall have to be sorry for? It wasn't my fault that Sweetie got grazed! She's the one that wanted to be on that job in the first place. But if I knew mares at all, they wanted an apology from me, regardless of whether I'd done it or not.

     "I'm sorry for getting Sweetie Bell shot?" There, that should satisfy them.

     It was Rarity's turn to shrug noncommittaly, she looked at Sweetie and asked her "Close enough?"

     "Close enough." the little sister confirmed.

     Humph...  mares. Can't live with 'em.

X-X-X-X-X

     ...Can't live without 'em.

     With Rarity not fixing to skin me and use my fur as a new material for one of her fancy hats, I managed to persuade the unicorn to give me what I came here for. With Sweetie Bell's help, of course.

    She forcibly yanked the coat and hat off of me and whisked the garments away to the back room, presumably her work shop. Rarity slammed the door shut and that was that. I suddenly found myself with more time on my hooves. Oh joy.

     My eyes wandered around the fancily decorated shop as I sat there twiddling my hooves. Many half-finished outfits lied scattered about the room, hanging on those creepy faceless mannequin ponies that I thought could come to life when I was a foal. Come to think of it, this place was a mess by Canterlot standards. Several rolls of fabric, sewing tools, and spools of thread were haphazardly toosed about like a fashion tornado had ripped through here.

     Amidst the mess were a few semi precious gems that I knew Rarity liked to decorate her clothes with. Amethysts, peices of Jade, and garnets and the like. I'm not ashamed to say that I pocketed a few of those when Sweetie wasn't looking.

     What do you expect from me? I'm already a smuggler! Why not add "thief" to the list, it holds much less social weight than it used to.

     "So uh, how long does this usually take her?" I asked Sweetie Bell, who was sitting silently on one of those armless couches that head doctors have you lay on when you're being examined. I've seen Rarity faint on it quite a few times....Don't ask.

     Sweetie didn't answer at first, she seemed to be staring off into the distance, lost in her own thoughts.

     "Sweetie."

     She whiped her head around like I had yelled at her "Huh?!"

     "You okay?"

     She laughed quietly and unconsciously rubbed her wound "Yeah, I'm good.-" she paused to gather her thougts "-I just haven't yelled at Rarity like this since I was a filly. I always knew that she never liked me working on The Singer all that much. It had to come to a head at some point. I'm just suprised that it took ten years."

     "Well worryin' about family will do strange things to a pony." I commented "Hell...my ma nearly had an aneurysm every time I went out sailing to The Griffin Republic. She would say "Son, if you die on that ship, I'll kill ya. I will drag your sorry flank kicking and screaming out of Tartarus itself just to send ya back." She would usually be threatening me with a silver soup spoon when she said it."

"Sounds like a hard mare." my navigator observed.

     "Eh, sometimes she was." I admitted "But not always, sometimes she was an old softie." I chuckled "But it was the first one most of the time."

     "So your parents, where are they now?" Sweetie asked innocently.

      "Weeeell..." I droned as the smile ran away from my face "I don't rightly know. I wasn't with them when The Curse hit, and they weren't in Canterlot after it was over and done with." I shrugged "Haven't seen 'em in twelve years."

     "That's horrible!" Sweetie gasped.

     I let my head droop a little "I can't disagree with ya there. But hope ain't lost, not to me. Odds are that my pa's still sittin' in his lazybuck chair back in Ponyville like nothing was wrong. He always was stubborn stallion, would rather fight a band of heathen ponies and a pack of wolves with his bare hooves than move out out of the house he built."

     "But I thought you lived in Cloudsdale?"

     "Not all our lives, my parents were in the trading buisness. We've moved around more than a few times, goin' where the goods are made. He liked to busy stuff factory direct." I laughed as the memories of those two old ponies flashed through my mind. "This one time, he--"

     "Finished~!" Rarity singsonged from the adjacent room.

     "Wow, that was fast." I wittly observed.

     "Oh it was hardly a challenge." Rarity said as she crossed into the room. Floating beside her was my hat and coat, perfectly repaired and looking just like the day I bought them.

     One thing that I found to always be true in these trying times is that a good sailor can be measured by the quality of his or her own apparel. That might sound a litte shallow at first, but less so when you think about it. Sailors who take pride in having a nice coat have always tended to live longer without getting shot. Not sure why that is, but it's just something I've observed and learned to emulate over the years.

     That being said, bigger and fancier isn't always better. The stuffy, overpaid captains that run military vessels have hats the size of their bank accounts and vests with more brass on them than a chandelier.  Flashy outfits tend to attract pirate ships like Rarity to a fashion show. And the pony with the shiniest outfit is often the first one in the room to be shot since the purpose of their clothes was to attract attention, be it negative or positive.

     But a pony with a more humble, yet still high-quality wardrobe garners that pony more respect from their peers. Plus, ponies were quicker to trust other ponies that walked, talked, and dressed like them. And I did trade mostly with the small settlements of farmers and ranchers farther away from big cities. You couldn't have picked me out of a crowd back in Serenity island, but in Canterlot I stick out like a bar of gold in a bucket of coal.

     My particular vestments were a brown leather duster with two sewn-in flintlock holsters on the inside and enough pockets keep all the odds and ends that I pick up over time. My hat was a wide-brimmed fedora that matched the coat, good for keeping the sun off my face. It seemed Rarity had stuck a grey feather in the crown when I wasn't looking. I pretended not to notice.

     Rarity, who didn't know the first thing about the principles of an air captain's attire, chose to comment on my apparel. "I haven't the foggiest idea why you want to wear the same outfit over and over again until they're worn out. That's just like eating hay for dinner for ten years straight."

     I considered explaining to her the same thing I just explained to you, but that would be a waste of breath considering how set in her ways Rarity is. "It suits me." I said simply, accepting the coat and slipping into it.

     She hummed "Well maybe we can fix that scraggly mane of yours next. Honestly, it looks like somepony stole your hair and replaced it with a bird's nest."

      I pulled the hat over my head defensively "Huh uh! I don't do haircuts." I like my scraggly-ass mane, thank you very much! Why do mares insist on changing me?

     I thanked Rarity for her work and paid her my fine. I may scoff at the the high class types in Canterlot, but even though she thought of herself that way, Rarity just wasn't one of those snobs because even after all that, she still gave me her famous friends and family discount. We nearly came to blows not minutes before, and she forgave me... just like that. I didn't know whether to surprised or...Actually, scratch that, I was suprised as hell. Most ponies tend to hold a grudge longer than five seconds. Heh, not Rarity.

     I stayed a for about another hour as Rarity and her sister chatted amicably with me about The Sea Singer and its crew. Nothing important or already known to you, the reader. After the conversation died down, I thanked the dressmaker again and went on my way. Sweetie chose to stay a little longer, we had two and a half days left after all.

X-X-X-X-X

     Finding Berry Punch was easy as could be after night fell. All one would have to do to find her was to ask the clerk at The Autumn Leaf Inn "How the grapes were growing this year" and she would lead you into a craggy old wine cellar. This cellar served as the best and biggest speakeasy in Canterlot, founded by the heaviest drinker in all of Equestria.

     Berry Punch was leaning on an old oak bar, tending to seven or so of the early drinkers. Behind her was a wall of glass bottles coming in all shapes, sizes, and colors. The stock of different brands of drink she had was staggering,  most of the companies that made these bottles of liquor either died when the Canterlot Prohibition Initiative was approved, or were lost when Nature's Curse took over.

     The room itself was as big as most above ground bars. I heard that Berry had this cellar expaned by a hell of a lot when she heard about the CPI, hoping to horde some of her alcohol. The excavation must have been stopped early because more than a few spots on the far end were rough granite instead of smooth concrete.

     The place was dimly lit by a collection of candles strewn about and placed on the tables. These candles were all cinnamon scented, probably to hide the smell of unwashed patrons and strong drink. Instead, the different acrid and spicy odors fought to overpower one another, creating an nauseating smell that could knock a grown stallion off his hooves. I always tried not to breathe through my nose when I was here.

     I said that The Autumn Leaf was the best speakeasy in Canterlot, but that didn't mean it wasn't a total shithole, just less shithole-ey than the others.

     Unlike the bar back in Serenity, the ponies here didn't want to beat you to a pulp and steal your money. Rule Number One of the speakeasy was no weapons, they were checked in at the door. And if somepony broke those rules, Berry kept a blunderbuss under the bar as an insurance policy.

     Berry Punch noticed Derpy and I walking down the stairs, she cracked an honest smile and waved us over. We took our seats at the bar and Berry immediately set down two glasses for us.

     "Well if it isn't my favorite suppliers." the purple-on-purple bartender greeted us coolly "Tell me what'cha want to drink, first one's on the house."

     "A martini for me." I said "Dry as a bone and stirred, not shaken." I hate when they shake my martinis. I don't know who started that damned craze, but it's another pony on my long flank-kicking list.

     "Just a glass of root beer for me." my first mate said. Derpy never was much of a drinker, her hoof-eye coordination was already bad enough with alcohol in the mix.

     Berry dissappeared under the counter and returned with a bottle of fine gin and a can of Bucking Bronco Root Beer! She silently stirred me my drink and popped the cap off of Derpy's soda. I thanked her and soon we were sipping on our drinks and talking about booze.

      "So what brings a hardy sailor like you to my humble beer cave?" Berry asked as she leaned on the bar.

     "Business." I stated "I'll be quick about it, because I know both you and I do not like all that small talk and foreplay. I've got four hundred plus units of Serenity moonshine strong enough to turn your liver into a gooey pulp." Well, maybe not her liver. I've heard stories about how Berry Punch could outdrink whole bars full of ponies. None of them had a happy ending for anypony other than Berry.

     Berry Punch gave low whistle and raised an eyebrow "Serenity?  I've been bending over backwards trying to strike a deal with Corn Cobb for months. How did you manage that? If I recall correctly, he tried to shoot you... Twice."

     "Three times." I corrected "And they were all honest-to-Godesses misunderstandings." That was a lie. They were far from misunderstandings, I will not deny that he had good reasons for shooting at me. Stupid, but still good nonetheless.

     "Captain, if I recall correctly, you slept with his daughter all three times." Derpy Hooves said blatantly, getting me a humorless look from Berry "He's dumb, but not dumb enough to misinterpret that."

     "Hey, at least I didn't do it this time around!"

     "Are you offering me... stolen goods, Cloud?" Berry suspiciously inquired.

      "Heh, it's not stolen if you pay for it~!" my first mate singsonged.

     "I paid Cobb." I said in my emotionless, poker-playing tone. I took a sip of my cocktail "He didn't agree to it, but I paid him a fair price."

     The bartender stopped to ponder for a moment, then shrugged "Eh... Close enough, I guess. I've already got enough contraband in my private stash alone to keep me in prison for life. It's not like adding "fence" to my long list of felonies will do much."

     "Well technically you wouldn'tbe fencing anything." I protested "It's bought and paid for."

     "Uh huh, and I've "technically" been drinking old grape juice all my life." Berry drawled in an unamused tone.

     Another sip of my martini "So, do you want it or not?"

     Berry cast a long glance at the drinkers sulking about the bar, various drinks in hoof. She rubbed her forehead tiredly and sighed "Yeah, I guess I could do with some stronger supply. That is, if you're telling the truth about the liver thing."

     "We thought you'd say that." Derpy declared, pulling out a meduim-sized glass bottle filled with a hazy white liquid and hoofing it over to the bartender.

     Berry took the bottle of 'shine and studied it's sloshing contents carefully. I had no idea what she could have learned from staring at it, but then again, I'm not the one who's been drinking since I got my cutie mark. She took the cork in her teeth and yanked it out with a satisfying pop that echoed throughout the bar-cave, grabbing the attention of the quiet drinkers. Before I could even blink, Berry had a shot glass on the counter and was already pouring herself a sample.

     The bartender gingerly held the glass to her nose and took a deep, deep breath. Judging by the way her nose curled and the hairs of her mane stood on end, Berry found it to her liking.

     "You sure this isn't rubbing alcohol?" Berry asked jokingly.

     "Go ahead, try it." Derpy prodded her lightly with a hoof "Try it."

     With a curt 'What the hell?' shrug, Berry 'Iron Liver' Punch threw back the shot like it was chocolate milk, not grimacing or coughing at all.

     Seriously, she was totally unfazed. I was drinking the watered down version of this stuff back on Serenity, and it burned like the fires of Tartarus all the way down! To this very day, I still cringe at the thought of gulping a whole shot of that stuff. Yeesh.

     "Not bad." Berry said approvingly, her voice showing no trace of strain from the 'shine "Not bad at all. This stuff really upholds its reputation. "

     Derpy took a swig of her root beer "So are we in business?"

     "Im sure we could work something out..." Berry said musically,  wicked smile upon her face.

X-X-X-X-XTwo days later...

     Night.

     I allowed my self a long, relaxing breath. The cool air of a midsummer's night came rushing in all at once, filling me up with calm and casting out all the unwanted feelings that had beem irking me for the previous two days.

     Hold it for one...two...three...four... and exhale. You're paranoid, Cloud. I silently told myself Nothing is going on. You've done deals with Berry a million and one times before. It's all routine.

Ugh, but why didn't it feel routine? Why was my gut telling me that there was something wrong?

Because something iswrong! the inner Cloudstrider hissed. That damnanble pony prancing around inside my head had been blaring alarms and raising red flags all day, yelling and screaming and kicking, trying to tell me to back out like a little filly for the past fouty-eight hours. Abort mission! Abandon ship! Get your rutting flank outta there!

     It was so trivial. I was getting worked up all over a tiny detail like an insecure, angsty little teenage filly at the prom. Why hadn't Berry haggled me down any? I just offered her thirty bits a unit and bam! She took the moonshine, just like that. All four crates. Thirty. Bits. That is so not how trading worked.

     Was she slipping? It hadn't even been half a year since she bought that shipment of apple whiskey off me for only fourty percent of what it was worth. Was she playing a practical joke? No...no one joke in all of the Green Sea is funny enough to be worth hundreds of platinum.

     Was she just being generous?

     No, that couldn't be. Berry had her coin purse locked up tighter than Canterlot's own treasury. She wasn't much of a giver, not like that Rarity.

     But yet... it seemed the only logical explanation. I sighed and leaned moapingly over the Singer's brightly painted rails. Why can't ponies be straightforward? Oh by the way Cloud, I'm overpaying you because...

     Eight sailors directly below me were swarming around the dock that Singer was morred to. They went about with ropes and dollys, hauling the four crates of alcohol out through the cargo bay hatch, moving with a purpose, getting the job done. Good workers, the lot of 'em. Derpy sure knows how to pick the good ones.

     I checked my watch, the deal was to go down in twenty five minutes. Twenty. Five. I lightly beat my head on the rail. This indecision's bugging me, should I stay or should I go?

     "You okay, Captain?" the unmistakable high-pitched voice of Scootaloo cam from behind me. Damn, I didn't even hear her trot up to me. That pony sure could be stealthy when she wanted to be.

     "Yeah, yeah." I lied, not bothering to turn and look at her "I'm fine, Scoot. Really."

     The pilot came into the corner of my eye and leaned up on the rail beside me "Cloud, you're easier to read than a neon sign about male enhancement pills. What's up?"

     Another sigh from me "It's just my gut that's bugging me, that's all."

     "Your gut, huh? Have you been to see Doctor Swab yet?"

     Wait, Doctor Swab? "What? No, not--" then I caught the knowing smirk on Scoot's face "--Oh, har har... I'm supposed to be the funny one here, not you."

    She shruged with her tiny orange wings "It's a gift."

     I snorted mirthfuly "If you must know, this deal is just giving my anyeurusms. I'm half tempted to leave money and run."

     "Are you kidding?" my pilot chuckled "That's way too much platinum-ey goodness to leave behind. I'd say this is the best deal Puch has ever given us."

     "And that's what's bothering me." I stated curtly "You've met Berry, she's got a coin purse tighter than an airlock. She just doesn't give good deals, it's not her way. The captain of the Santa Margarita will probably give up his pirating ways before Berry gives us a fair price."

     Scootaloo gave me a look so blank, she would've made a brick wall jealous "Well she just did."

     Yet another sigh from the captain of the Sea Singer "I know."

X-X-X-X-X

     I made my way through the Singer's belly and onto the concrete docks. Most of the crew was dead asleep at this time of night, the few that were awake were milling about the crates of 'shine, waiting for the pickup to arrive so they could finish and go back to bed.

     I checked my watch for the um-teenth time that night. Berry Should be here in three minutes. Three minutes. Threeminutes threeminutes threeminutes. Tres minutos, if you speak Southern Griffin. I myself was a bit rusty in that area.

     I paced around the shipment, unable to hide the effects of my inner turmoil. The few crewponies out here lazily watched me trot back and forth like a caged lion as I muttered my thoughts aloud.

     "This is wrong, this is wrong..." I mumbled under my own breath.

     "Woah, chillax, Cap." one of my newer recruits,  whos name escapes me, said in a drawling tone "You're gonna like, strain your pancreas or something."

     I chuckled aloud. Though this crewmember was a hard woker as I recalled, she had a hardcore hippie accent that I found real amusing. She was never all that bright, either.

     "Suuuureee, maaaan." I emulated her accent perfectly, getting me a small smirk from the mare.

     That lightened my tension a little, as easily distraced as I was. The tighness in my chest released just a bit. "Need to be calm." I told myself, Berry could smell hesitation like a shark smells blood.

     Just then, a familar and raggedy old carriage shambled on to the dock, likely to be holding the certain somepony that had caused me all that inner grief. I forced a fake look of serenity onto my face, drawing from my years of experience as a battle-hardened merchant. It was like a switch, the way that I went into trading mode.

     The carriage door swung open and out trotted the bartender with a deep commitment to the color purple. Berry sashayed across the dock and regarded me with a cool expression. But, like most of this visit to Canterlot, something seemed off. She wasn't looking the same as she normally did on these exchanges, I detected a flash of emotion that played across her face. I couldn't put my hoof on what emotion exactly, was that...regret? Well that isn't a good sign. Not at all.

     "Lovely night, isn't it?" I said conversationally, ignoring the pony in my head that was urging me to pack the crew up and head for the skies.

     Berry looked distractedly up at Luna's starry sky, the pony in my head was banging against the walls "Yeah... sure is." she said dreamily.

     A long, akward silence hung in the air like the smell of the speakeasy as we looked at each other, unsure of what to say. I opened my mouth to speak, but my voice trailed off before it could even begin.

     "So, the goods?" Punch quickly inquired.

     I nodded my head vigorously "Yeah, yeah, got them right here--" I bumped a hoof against the wooden create "--Almost four hundred and fifty units, all packed up and ready to ship--" I stopped mid-sentence.

     Wait a moment. That carriage had driven off. Berry was all alone. Those crates were mighty heavy. Thoughts processing.  Pony in my head was screaming bloody murder.

     "Uh Berry, how are you going to get the goods back to the Atumn Leaf?"

     The bartender lowered her head shamefully and murmured something incomprehensible. The pony in my head was beating drums and banging cymbals,  warning me to vacate the premises.

     "Berry, you're scaring me."

     She said nothing.

     "Berry!?"

     She whipped her head upward and shouted one word. A single, little word that stopped my heart, a word that all smugglers dreaded. One of the few words that can strike true fear into the heart of every that has ever served on the Sea Singer "Echo!"

     Damn it.

     Out of nowhere, like striking lightning, they swarmed. At least two dozen burly grey ponies clad in offical gold and silver Canterlot Royal Gaurd armor materialized onto the narrow dock. Some appeared out of thin air, some crawled out of the woodwork, some flew in, and another even popped out of a nearby barrel. They all leveled their bayonets at me and my crew, the razor knives flashed a reflection of the full moon. We were completely and utterly surrounded.

     The pony inside my head facehooved. This was a booze bust. Berry Punch had betrayed me. I had been caught with my pants down like a rutting amateur. I should have listened to him, the pony in my head. He was right all along.

     I said the only thing that came to mind "How could you, Berry?"

     The traitor refused to meet my furious gaze, instead choosing to hang her head and shy away behind the impenetrable wall of muscle and steel.

     No less than five gaurds advanced foward, robbing me of my hat, coat, and all it's contents. I made no move to resist, it would have been an utterly futile attempt. I didn't care at the time, all I could think of was Berry Punch.

     "I trusted you, Berry."

     The only indication of her presence was a flash of mulberry between the limbs of the police. The mare said nothing.

     "Coward." I spat out that word like it was the most vile of poisons.

     "You have the right to remain silent." One of the gaurds drawled stoically. I had no intention of exercising that particular right.

     "Coward!" I echoed "Traitor! Low down, conniving, good-for-nothing, bitch!"

     "...Anything you say can and will be held against you in a court of law." I felt rings of cold, hard metal clamped under all four if my hooves one by one.

     "Dirty, dirty whore!" I continued, unperturbed by the cuffs.

     "You have the right to an attorney..." Celestia,  was that pig still going? It didn't matter.  All that mattered was that a pony I trusted betrayed me. She was Spitfire's inside source. She made these past few days hell on Equestria for me. Berry Punch was now my enemy. I was too focused on her to notice that I was now being lead away from my ship, away from my love.

     I've been busted, and there wasn't a Luna-damned thing in the world I could do about it.