You think you finally made it but Rainbow Dash isn't a mother

by sputnikpony

Rating: teen
Tags: Rainbow Dash, Random, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 994

And then there was Yodeling Elaine the Queen of the air who wore a Dollar sign medallion, but who will Dash give the treasure to?

And then there was Yodeling Elaine the Queen of the air who wore a Dollar sign medallion, but who will Dash give the treasure to?

Chocolate is not a baby.

Published 2013-07-03 18:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-07-03 18:00:02 UTC

There is no queen for this

Rainbow Dash knew today was the time for good luck. Even though ponies can’t be irish she’d always had a heart of gold. Times called for withdrawals. Sometimes Rainbow Dash tasted the blood on her lips. Upper lips, you pervert, she bit her tongue or something. It was like a nosebleed a little bit if you wanted.

Scarlet skies will come in a few hours. She is in ponyville, not flying but feet on solid ground walking down the road. Come to me, she thinks, come to me ponies and I will bestow splendor.

Sometimes Rainbow Dash liked to pretend she was Daring Do on a treasure exploration hunting mission while she went to the market to buy celery or whatever. But now is not one of those occasions. Rainbow Dash has no pockets and doesn’t wear clothes. She has a chocolate coin and is looking for a worthy pony to entrust it with. Such great treasure she has to impart, to a lost soul in the dark.

Rainbow Dash is still walking, step, step, one foot after the other. She turns her head left to right then back to left looking at ponies like a submarine scanner on the prowl for enemy ships. But she does not really believe any of these ponies are her enemies. She just needs to see into their heart for which one most needs a chocolate coin. Which one has the sacred heart.

She sees one yellow stallion walking with a limp and no clothes. Rainbow Dash cautiously approaches. “Tell me the state of your soul,” she wisardly says.

He squints with guilt of one caught in the act. The stallion quietly replies, “One of my testicles is... well I would say cracked or broken, I’m not really sure? First of all, I am 17 years old. I have had my left testicle like that for about 3 or 4 years, I’m not so sure. it doesn’t feel nice and round like my other one, it feels kinda bumpy, like it exploded or something, I do not feel any pain or weird discomfort, but I’m still kinda worried...”

Rainbow Dash nods for him to continue.

He shifts on his feet. “Um, I haven’t been to the doctor in about five or six years and I had a physical the last time I went and the doctor said I was fine. What may happen to my poor testicle? Is it cancer? Will they have to remove it?? Or can I just keep like that? Will it affect my sexual life?”

Dash thinks a moment. “You probably already have fuckin’ blood poisoning or something and are screwed. You’re going to die.” She nods again then takes her leave. This is not the one for her treasured chocolate.

She did not find any pony of worth that day.

Later.

Within the darkness of the night as the bright white moon glows lustfully over the dark forest below, stood a black figure on a hill over looking the eerie scenery before her. A large black forest, as the moon's rays shine down for her to see clearly, like rows of chocalate. More hill tops from a distant and a few mountains further into the distance on the horizon of this scenery. Within a few patches of open canopies of the forest, between the ants, are towns or villages spread apart from each other with bright torches or candle light burning brightly below as they mimic the white clusters of stars surrounding the moon in the dark brooding sky. She imagines cities made of chocolate and ice cream sprinkles and the sweetest candies known to ponies. She imagines a worthy collection of comrades to share it with, to erect a shipping empire founded on the integrity of gold coins.

The figure stood about in her black cloak that slight flutters in the breeze and a broad-brimmed hat that sat firmly on her head. The air is cool tonight and it felt just right and she knows he'll find his target very soon. She needs to or there might be some trouble. Maybe the coin would melt or something. She sighed which almost matched the sound of the breeze.

How annoying..., her thought irritably. She had searched high and low and still couldn't find no trace of a worthy target for her chocolate. This land, this world is still foreign to him. A cesspool. She has no idea where to go and what to do in this foreign world, who to entrust with candy. She sighed again but now it sounded more normal with a grunt. Can this day get any more tiring?

You tell me. I'm the one doing all the work here; A thought with an otherworldly voice that had an echoing texture to it that popped into her preoccupied head and it sounded as irritated as she was. The figure turns slightly to her left to look over his left shoulder at her companion or comrade that traveled with her.

"You know, Scootaloo, you could make this task much easier if you used your psychic powers," Rainbow Dash said.

“Sorry boss, but that would be cheating,” the filly chirped in reply.

“Maybe you could overlook that, and I might overlook something else,” Dash said over her shoulder with a hint of drone tone in her voice. Her voice is cloaked in deep rich, velvet in a slight baritone tone which can swoon both sexes into putty in his hands. She could persuade anyone to her whim with no doubt.

Dash’s companion wasn't totally affected by her voice as she grunts sarcastically at the pegasus.

Patience, my child.

They stayed like that as the other companion concentrates hard and the other watches her surroundings. Their eyes glowed beautifully in the night as they stare into the dark scenery and it was fabulous.

Eventually, they’d find something to entrust the precious sweet chocolate coin with.