I KNEW YOU WERE TROUBLE WHEN YOU WALKED IN....

by firestripe

Rating: mature
Tags: Spike, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Random, Crossover, Sex, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Other, Romance
Length: 4788

Spike is in a fight for his life when Country superstar Taylor Swift goes after his head.

Spike, (as well as Conor, Jake, John, Taylor, Joe, and Harry) breaks up with Taylor Swift. Her sanity breaks and she goes out to kill him. As well as anything, and anyone that gets in her way.

(Total credit to BartBaker from Youtube for the insane Taylor Swift cover photo)

Published 2013-07-06 01:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-07-06 01:00:02 UTC

YOU'LL BE LYING ON THE COLD HARD GROUND

Spike looked out the window dreadfully, as the most annoying person in the world pulled up into the library's driveway. The Pink Fiat 500 came to a stop and the lights flashed off. Then she came out. Taylor Swift walked out of the car. She was wearing a plain white T, designer skinny jeans, brown leather high heel boots, and an arm full of bracelets. As she approached the front door, she noticed Spike staring at her through the window, so she gave him a friendly big smile wave. This just pissed Spike off even more.

You see, for the mere two week's the two had been dating, Taylor NEVER gave Spike the freedom of personal space. Everywhere he went she would tag along, annoying the crap out of him and Twilight and her friend's. Now Spike was just some big inside joke between Twi and her friends, for they teased him constantly. This had to stop. Spike invited Taylor over for dinner so he could gently break some bad news. Twilight would be on a date with angel bunny, so it would just be him, and her. Oh and the owl.

Spike opened the door for Taylor, who greeted him with a wet kiss on the cheek.

"So what are we doing to night baby?" asked Taylor pinching spikes cheek's as if he was a five year old.

"Just a little dinner," Spike replied trying his hardest to hide the irritation and hatred in his voice.

"Ohhhh, what are we gonna eat?" asked Taylor trying to be sexy

Spike exhaled hard, his eye's making a clear sign he was annoyed.He walked Taylor over to the dinning room. "Just sit," he said pulling out a chair for her at the table.

Taylor did so and gave Spike a duck face, trying to be cute. As Spike left the room and into the kitchen he punched a hole in the wall out of pure anger and hatred for Taylor. He pulled two steak's out of the oven, and made sure to burn Taylor's, and cool it off with spit. He then came into the room, and presented Taylor with the burnt steak.

"Ooooohhhhh, this look's so de'lish!" said Taylor enthusiastically "You know what would go good with this?" she asked while cutting her steak with an overly large knife.

Spike exhaled once more and looked to Taylor with annoyed eye's. "What??"

"A little wine," she said cutting s slice onto a fork and eating it

Spike had enough. If he was going to break up with her, minus well do it now instead of leading her up to another terrible night.
"Taylor, listen. You're a great person all and all, and don't take this to hard...but this, this just isn't working..."

"What are you saying?" asked Taylor, the knife in her hand trembling and her eye's growing red from welding tears.

"I'm breaking up with you." Spike said straight up

"NO!" Taylor screamed "NOT AGAIN! NOT EVER AGAIN!"

"Now I know you're upset, but trust me its for the best.."

Taylor's sanity broke right then and there. So many ex-Boyfriend's and so many breakup's. Every time a boy would break up with her, her mental state got weaker, but her mind got more powerful with hatred. Then, using her mind, she picked Spike out of his seat, and threw him across the room! He smashed against a far bookcase.
Spike picked himself up, dazed. Owlicious was hooting wildly. Taylor, was still in her seat, but her eye's were locked in on a gaze on Spike. Taylor then snapped her finger's, and all the lights in the library went out. Then she snapped her finger's again and all the candles blew themselves out. Spike listened in horror, for the library was pitch black. He listened to Taylor humming a soft, yet haunting tune. Owlicious was still hooting wildly, and Spike began to dread.

Spike then got to his senses and picked up a candle and lit it, making for an eerie light. Right as the candle was lit all noise in the library suddenly stopped. Spike looked around. There was no sight of Taylor or the owl. Spike then bolted to the front door, and tugged wildly. the door wouldn't budge. Spike then turned around slowly and stood still in sheer terror. The sight that beheld him was horrific. There, on the floor, was Owlicious. His throat was cut and his body seemed to be punctured by several stab wounds. The owl just lay there in its own growing pool of blood. Spike began to hyperventilate. He needed to get the heck out of the house.

Spike threw the candle he was holding on the floor and ran as fast as he could up the stairs and to his room, where he slammed the door behind him. He ran over to the closet and picked up his favorite toy. A brown SPAS shotgun with golden trim. He quickly loaded the 12 rounds that the gun held, and turned around with his hand on the trigger. What he saw almost gave him a heart attack. The only light in the room was an eerie moonlight coming from the window on the far side of the room. The dim light stretched far enough for Spike to see the door he had entered was wide open. He had forgotten to lock the door but he had closed it behind him. That meant only one thing, he wasn't the only one inside that room.

Spike kept a grip on hid on his shotgun, looking around the room nervously for Taylor. And that's when he saw her. She was crawling on the ceiling, and Spike fired a shot straight up at her! The gun blasted, but before Taylor could be hit, she leapt onto the floor a mere 10 feet away from Spike! Then, using her mind powers, she levitated Spike off the floor and hurled him torwards the window! As Spike flew across the room, he fired two more shots blindly, all of which missing his target. Spike flew through the window, completely shattering the glass, then he fell two story's, landing on his back hard.
Spike picked him self up and grabbed his shotgun that was no less then three feet away from where he had landed. He looked around and up at the window he had just flown out of, there was no sign of Taylor anywhere, but Spike knew she was close by, watching him..

Spike did the only reasonable thing he could think to do at the time. He ran. He blindly sprinted into the night of Ponyville. It was about 9:30 PM and everypony had already gone to sleep, for Pony's arent late stayer upper's. Leaving Spike to run through the streets, alone, and scared. Eventually, Spike had ran into "the bad side" of Ponyville, a place he had been warned to stay clear of. The bad side of Ponyville was an Asian town of sorts, but had been taken over by drugs and criminals back in the 80's. Now the once bustling and lively area of Ponyville was a cracked shell of danger and treachery, and no one in there right mind would dare come alone into these parts, especially not at night.
As Spike ran, shotgun in hand, Gangsters and thugs yelled stuff to him, though Spike couldn't make out what they were saying. Spike ran down a street taken over by Ponyville's alpha street gang, the dark blood's, where he collided with a gang leader himself.

The zebra, covered in tatoo's of gang signs, saw the small dragons gun and instinctively pulled out his own.

"Nigga, put the gun down!" said The zebra waving a large hand gun in Spike's face

"Okay okay!" Spike said setting the gun down out of fear

"Ya'll gotta lot of balls coming up in my woods threat'in me like that," said the zebra who then kicked Spike in the gut, knocking him to the ground

"Please don't hurt me," Spike pleaded

"Nigga, you be lucky if ya'll eva walk again!" said the zebra now pointing the gun at Spike's legs.

Right when the zebra was about to blow Spike's knees out, a shinning piece of metal burst through his torso! The zebra coughed and spat out blood. The piece of metal then retracted from the zebras chest and he collapsed to the floor. There standing over the dying zebra was Taylor swift and a bloody knife in her hand.

"TONIGHT'S THE NIGHT I FOR GET ABOUT DEADLINES!" howled Taylor as she lunged for him. Spike tried to grab his gun but he wasn't fast enough. Taylor kneed him in the chest, winding him, and knocking him to the ground. Then she picked up her high-heel boot and jabbed the heel into spikes left eye. Spike howled in pain as Taylor ripped the boot out of his eye. She got on top of him, pinning him down and picked up her knife.

"Any last words, BOYFRIEND!?" asked Taylor, her eyes red and throbbing like nothing Spike had ever seen before.

As Taylor removed her grip on Spike's arm to pick up her knife, Spike took advantage of the situation and clawed at her chest. Taylor screamed as razor sharp claws tore her chest open. Spike then escaped her grip and lunged for his gun! Deciding to play it safe, Spike ran up to Taylor and slammed the end of his gun againced Taylor's left temple. She collapsed to the floor and Spike collected his bearing's and ran once more down the darkening streets. Though as he ran, exhaustion took affect and Spike knew he needed rest. Using the last of his energy, Spike jogged down two block's until he found an overly obvious safe zone. In an broken down Motel complex courtyard, stood a restroom building. Spike burst through the door's of the restroom, thankfully seeing it to be unlocked. Inside was a large standard bathroom. A large row of sinks stretched from one end of the room to the other, as well as a large mirror. On the opposite side stood a row of two of those stand up toilets I don't know how to spell. Followed by a row of four stalls. Spike ran over to the last stall and locked the door. He climbed up on the toilet and squatted to conceal his leg's, just in case Taylor came in looking for him.

Spike tried to settle his breathing, with success, he began to think out his next move. He calculated that he was only 3/4 of a mile away from the sugar cube corner. So if he could sprint there, he could get help from a friend. He then started to think of shortcut's and a Plan B. After about two minutes of rapid brainstorming, Spike decided it would be safe to let a leg down, and make a break for the door. Right when Spike found the courage to step off the toilet, someone burst into the bathroom! And Spike had a nagging feeling who it might be. Spike peered through a crack in the stall and was relieved to see it wasn't Taylor Swift, it was just some crusty earth pony wearing a dirty tanktop. The earth pony burst into the stall next to spike and took a huge dump. Spike listened in horror, for it sounded like someone was dumping a truckload of rock's into a lake.

"Ahhhh yeah that's the stuff," sighed the earthpony

Spike controlled on calming himself down again, because of the recent scare. He watched through the crack as the earth pony hobbled out not bothering to wash his hand's. As the earth pony neared the door to leave someone else came into the room. And this time, It was Taylor Swift.

"Heey, what's a pretty lady like you doing in the men's room all alone?" asked the earth pony menacingly approaching Taylor. Then before the earthpony could touch her, Taylor used her mind power's on him. The earth pony howled in agony as his neck began to twist in an un-natural position. He coughed up blood as his neck popped, killing him.
Spiked examined her through the crack of the stall. Her skull seemed dented and there was a giant wound where Spike had hit he upsaide the head. Her white t-shirt was now red and shredded in three places along the chest. Her eye's were red and sinister and her skin was pale white like a ghost. (My bad, she's always like that)

Though she couldn't see Spike, she sensed he was here. She looked up and glared at the light fixtures along the ceiling. Moment's later they all exploded in a shower of spark's. Now spark's spilled out causing the only light in the bathroom to be a dim, dark, sinister glow. Taylor started to walk torward's where Spike was hiding. As she walked she sang in a soft, haunting voice.

"I knew you were trouble when you walked in....." She momentarily paused singing and walking as she stood in front the first of four stalls.

"And the sadest thought...comes creeping IN!" she yelled as she used her mind power's to burst open the the door first stall.

"That you never loved ME!" she exploded the door open on the next stall

"Or HER!" she blew open the stall next to Spike. Spike sat shaking on the toilet, his shotgun aimed towards the door. If she tried to come in he would blow her head sky high. Spike watched her feet from under the door approach the stall he was hiding in. Her feet stopped right in front.

"Or anyone...Or anything..." Spike kept his gun trained on the door, but suddenly all the spark's stopped falling, making the room pitch black. Then all singing and noises stopped all together.

Spike's heart began to pound out of his chest. He knew that Taylor Swift was still in the bathroom. Hiding in the shadow's. Waiting for his next move.

After what seemed to be an eternity, Spike grabbed a shit out of the toilet, and lit it on fire as a source of light. He then stepped down onto the floor and slowly unlocked the door. Keeping his hand trigger-ready, he slowly opened the stall door. The door creaked open, revealing the mirror in front of him. There he saw his reflection, and Taylor Swift. Who was standing right behind him.

Spike spun around and shot wildly into the stall, but Taylor Swift blocked all bullets with her mind! Then she used her mind to pick Spike up and slam him againced the mirror, shattering it whole! Spike quikly got his mind together and lunged for his shot gun, but Taylor had already unloaded it. Spike helplessly watched Taylor reveal the large knife she had used to kill the gangsta with. She lunged for Spike, but Spike blew a large fireball, hitting her squarely in the face! Taylor screamed and covered her face as thick smoke descended from it. Then, seeing his chance, Spike bolted out of the bathroom and into the night.

Taylor began to laugh historically. Even though her face was severely burned, and beaten, she was almost uninfected by it.
The truth was that Taylor had only been playing with Spike this whole time. Holding back what she could really do to him. Now she decided that shit needed to get serious. She waited a little while longer, allowing Spike to get a head start. Then, after a few long moment's of waiting, Taylor got up and stuck her hand in her pocket, reveling the key's to her Fiot 500.

Spike ran down the outskirt's of "The bad side of town." Now he knew exactly where he was, and he was approaching an area of Ponyville with large parks. As he was just about to turn the last corner of the bad side of town, he heard three loud honks behind him. Was Taylor going to run him over? No. Approaching him was a silver Honda hybrid!

"Rainbow dash!" Spike yelled recognizing the car

"Spike!?" asked the Cyan Pegasus "What happened to you?" she asked noticing many cut's and bruises along his body, as well as the puncture wound in his eye.

"No time to explain!" he said jumping into the front seat of the car. "Drive!"

RD hit the gas and sped down the more urban area of Ponyville. "Where am I driving you?"

"Anywhere far far away from here!" Spike said checking to see if Taylor was near by "Taylor Swift is trying to kill me!"

Dash burst into laughter "C'mon Spike be serious!" she said slowing down the car

"NO NO! Don't slow down the car! You've gotta believe me! Spike pleaded

"Spike, c'mon. That girl friend of your's, though annoying, couldn't hurt a fly," said RD now driving down the road that held The sugar cube corner.

"Fine! If you wont believe me then Ill just go to Pinkie Pie!" Spike ushered Dash to stop the car

"What ever Spike," Rainbow said bursting into more hysterical laughter as she let Spike out. Spike hobbled out and ran torward's the Sugar cube corner. RD honked Twice and sped off. Then disaster struck. When RD drove about 300 yards away, Spike watched in horror as the Prius swerved un-naturally, and smashed into a cement wall, then the hood burst into flames. Spike's heart dropped as he saw Taylor standing 50 feet away. She had controlled the car with her mind. She had killed Rainbow Dash.

Spike didn't wait around, he burst through the door of the Sugar Cube Corner not bothering to knock. It was past 10:00 and the store had been closed for over two hour's now. Mr. Cake heard the intrusion and came downstairs with a metal baseball bat. Spike didn't care. He pushed passed Mr. Cake and ran upstairs to Pinkie's room.

"Spike?" Asked Mr. Cake confused by the intrusion.

*BOOOM* A massive explosion shook the sugar cube corner. Mr. Cake ran outside to see what looked to be an exploded car. Mr. Cake ran inside to call the cop's but was instead greeted by a bloody, battered human, waiting in the center of the dining area.

"WHERE THE FUCK IS HE!?" boomed the woman who had a bloody knife in her hand.

"Mr. Cake coward away and turned to run, but an invisible force lifted him five feet off the ground by his neck.

"I SAID WHERE IS HE!" the Human boomed once more

I...wont tell you," Mr. Cake managed to choked out

Taylor Swift was tired of games. She slammed him head first againced the floor. Then she picked him up and did it again, and again, and again until he finally gave out.

Pinkie we don't have time! Spike pleaded listening to the commotion down stairs. What kind of guns do you have?

"I have confetti guns!" said the clueless horse cheerfully

Spike shoved Pinkie aside and ran into Mr and Mrs. cakes room. Mrs. cake was huddled with a crowbar in a far corner of the room.

"Spi--spiiike..Who..who's down there?" asked Mrs.cake fearfully

"One dead bitch," said Spike like a total boss

"Wha-what?" Asked Mrs.Cake

"Never mind! Do you have any weapons?" Asked Spike keeping his cool and preparing for an epic battle

Mrs. Cake shakily pointed her hoof to a double door closet. Spike walked over and opened the doors. He stood in awe at what he saw. A full blown arsenal. Machine guns, sub-machine guns, shot guns and handguns piled up on rack's and shelves. Explosives of all sorts ranging from RPG'S to small hand grenades occupied one corner. And battle Armour and melee combat weapons, modern and Mid evil strung the far side of the closet. There were bullet proof vests, gas masks, and gorilla glass face shields. On the wall's stood an impressive collection of Miniguns of all sizes, big and small, golden and black. Flash bangs, laser guns you name it, it was there. Even the one and only purple Dildo bat stood encased in glass. But that's not what caught Spike's attention. Hidden in the very back of the massive closet stood two metal fists. "The fists of asskicking". Spike picked up both fists and slipped them over his hand's. They instantly light up as soon as they touched flesh. Illuminating a blinding blue glow.

Spike instantly felt his body transform and surge with unfortold powers. His eye pupils disappeared and turned into an empty blue glow, that could only compare to when Twilight first bared her element. Suddenly the moment was broken for there was a loud crash coming from down stairs. Using the fists of asskicking, Spike burst through the second story floor landing on the first story ten feet away from Taylor Swift.

"PREPARE TO DIE!" Taylor roared

"Let's see what you're made of," Spike challenged

Suddenly, Taylor used her mind power's to erupt all the wall's and all the furniture in the restaurant with flames. The room lit up, engulfed with fire. Though Spike was a dragon and immune to heat, the fire only added to the intensity of the moment.

Taylor struck first sending a wave of energy toward's Spike! Spike used his fists to ricochet the blast,sending it back to Taylor. The blast hit her with full force and she was temporarily stunned. Seizing the moment, Spike ran up to her, and did a jaw shattering uppercut. Taylor flew three feet into the air on impact , but she used her power's to stall herself in the air. She then sent three blasts of force towards Spike. Spike skillfully dodged the first two, but was hit in the chest by the third. The pain seared but Spike got up. It was his turn.

Spike pounded the ground with both his fists causing a massive earth quake. Then he while Taylor was stunned, he sent a blast of force through his palms. A wave of energy shot out and hit Taylor, the impact sent her flying to the other side of the house, landing on a burning couch. Spike didn't begin to show mercy. Before Taylor could get back up and retaliate, Spike levitated her off the ground with his hand's, then ripped her arm's off while she was suspended in the air. Taylor screamed in anger more then pain, so Spike shut her up by slapping her with her own dislocated arms. Then he let go of the force he had on her and Taylor fell to the ground.

Even though Taylor didn't have arms she still had a very powerful mind. She then used her mind to summon an eight foot tall Earth Golem to enter the room! Taylor watched as the massive creature perused Spike. Spike dodged the first strike from the Golem, but was surprised when the Golem slammed its massive hand down on Spike, squashing him like a bug. The Golem lifted his hand off of Spike, who was crushed and dazed. The room was spinning and Spike's chest was of fire.

Taylor laughed hysterically as the dragon boy failed to get up. She then used her powers to re-grow her arms. She pointed to Spike.

"FINISH HIM!" Taylor commanded to the Golem.

The world was moving slow motion. Spike helplessly witnessed the Golem lift its foot up, preparing to stomp him. Suddenly the world froze completely. Spike got up and and noticed that he was still cowering on the floor as the Golem was about to stomp him. Had he died? Was he a ghost? Spike tried to touch the helpless version of himself, but his hand passed right through. Spike then noticed Taylor Swift, frozen in hysterical laughter. This enraged Spike and he ran over to punch Taylor right in the mouth. But his fist past right through her. Spike began to panic. "I really am a ghost!" Spike thought

Suddenly Harry Style's burst into the room. "H-harry?" Spike asked the pretty boy as he approached.

"Spike, don't give up hope! you can defeat this bitch!" Harry said with his British accent.

"But how? Asked Spike looking over at himself, helplessly about to be crushed by a earth Golem.

"Touch my hair," Hairy said bending down to let Spike touch his hair.

"Wha-what?" asked a confused Spike

"BITCH JUST DO IT! We don't have much time!"

Spike walked over and touched Hairy's hair. He felt the awesome strength of his hair being surged through his body. Spike let go feeling more powerful then ever.

"How do you feel?" asked Hairy Styles

"Like a champion," said Spike power flaring through him

"Now what are you gonna do!?" asked Hairy encouragingly

"Uh I-I don't know. What am I gonna do?"

"You're gonna defeat our ex, mate. for the both of us,"

Suddenly Hairy began to fade. "YA can do it mate!" he said before disappearing into light.

Suddenly, Spike felt himself being pulled into the helpless version of himself. And in a mere ten seconds flat, Spike was once again under the foot of a Golem. The world unfroze.

"KILL HIM!" Taylor yelled ecstatically

"The Golem dropped it's foot at full force down on Spike. Spike closed his eye's and put the fists of asskicking in front of him and prepared for impact. But he didn't get squashed. Spike opened his eye's to see that he had caught the foot and was now supporting it with his own two hand's. It must have been the awesome powers of Hairy's hair. Spike didn't hesitate. He swung his arm's up from under the Golem, flipping it on it's back. Then Spike got up and jumped five feet landing on The Golem's chest. Taylor blasted Spike with laser's but Spike just walked over to the Golem's head uninfected. Then, Spike balled up some asskicking fists and slammed his right fist againced the Golem's right cheek. Then he did the same with his left. And he repeated smashing the Golem's face in until his face collapsed into a pile of dirt.

Taylor screamed in rage and tried to pick Spike up by the neck using her mind. But her magic slipped off Spike, and Spike slowly began to approach Taylor. The Sugar Cube corner was now fully engulfed in flames and the ceiling was about to collapse. But Spike decided to give it a little push. Using the inner strenth of the fists of asskicking, Spike got ready to shower his spark of rage on Taylor. Taylor screamed as Spikes fists began to glow blindingly bright. Then Spike ran as fast as he could towards the county cutie. He jumped into the air and slammed his right fist againced Taylor's face with all his mite. The punch took everything Spike had, Hairy power's and all, but it was enough. *kaboom*.

Spike walked over to Taylor dying on the ground. The force of the punch obliterated The sugar Cube Corner and left a 20 foot deep crater in the ground. Taylor tried to use her power's, but Spike had knocked them the fuck out of her. He now stood in front of her, The Fists of asskicking were gone, for they disintegrated along with the epic punch.

"Any last words?" Spike asked

Taylor then sang Spike a song about her feeling's, a song that would make her millions of dollars. So the next time you hear a broken heart song from Taylor Swift, you know it was for Spike.

After the song, Spike simply smiled and said "Have a nice trip," Then everyone of Taylor's old boyfriend's picked her up and trusted her up in the air.
The force was so strong that she flew straight up into space, where she still floats now, and for eternity.

THE END

_____________________________________________________________________________________--

EPILOGUE

Spike loses his virginity, with his throbbing hard, wet cock. giving this story a sex tag

RD dosn't die, but she get's horribly brain injured, and turns grey.

According to pony gang honor, If you kill a leader you take there place. So with the murder of the Co-leader of the Dark blood's , Taylor become's an undisputed gang lord.

The death of the crusty pony who died in the bathroom worked out fine, for his life insurance policy gave his struggling wife and daughter a fortune to live on. Unfortunately, the two spent it all on crack.

Owlicious dies and becomes the Cosmic owl in Adventure Time.

And Bronie's still creep people out.

Author's Note

I had fun writing this one. It's huge step away from what I usually write, and it was my first serious story. Hope ya'll enjoyed ;)