The Conversion Bureau: The Hangover

by Barrobroadcaster

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Crossover, Alternate Universe, Human, Main 6, Lyra, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy, Other, Adventure
Length: 1163

The night before his wedding, Nathan Sheffield's friends encourage him to make his last night single a night he'll never forget. Unfortunately the next day, they wake up to find they already have.

Nathan Sheffield is about to make the commitment of his life. He's getting married to his longtime girlfriend Leena Evans in Canterlot. Starting your whole life over with another person is a big step so Nathan's friends want to make sure it's a night to remember.
Unfortunately for Nathan and his friends, it might be a night they'd all rather forget.

Published 2013-07-03 22:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-07-03 22:10:02 UTC

Banana Phone

Sunday, 3:28p.m.
Canterlot City Limits

The Canterlot hospital burned in front of them. The entire building was set ablaze, there was nopony in it but it was certain that it would burn to the ground. None of them knew how long it would take the fire department to arrive. Not only that, none of them really cared about that as they sat on the curb across the street. One burning building was the least of their worries.

"I just don't know what went-"

Nathan stopped her. "Derpy... please, just no." Twilight Sparkle was huddled in a ball behind them next to a semi-conscious Spike lying on the ground. Nathan desperately tried to get his cell phone to work.

"Nathan... it's Canterlot, you're not going to get reception here," David, his best friend from Earth told him.

Nathan turned to him. "Use the buttons for me. Call Leena... tell her what happened," he said, holding the phone in his new hooves. Dave took the phone from his friend and did as instructed, dialing Nathan's fiancé's number. He held it to his ear and they both waited.

"No service," Dave replied.

Nathan nodded in understanding of the futility. "Great... great," he said, almost sobbing and sitting down. He almost sat on his own tail; he was still getting used to having one. He put his head in his hooves.

Pinkie Pie casually walked over to him with a bunch of bananas on her back. "You want a banana, Nathan?" the pink mare asked.

"No, I don't want a banana! I just want to get back to Leena!" the young unicorn colt said, looking back up at them with tears in his eyes. "What are her parents going to say when they see me like this?! What is anyone going to say?"

It was quiet for a few moments. The group sat there, Pinkie peeled and ate a banana. Twilight continued rocking back and fourth next to Spike who occasionally opened his mouth cough acrid smoke. Derpy and Dave watched the flames as the building in front of them continued to burn, slowly collapsing in on itself.

"What's taking the fire department so long?" Dave asked, looking up and down the street. No carriages or other ponies came or went, they were completely alone. No pegasi arrived by air with a cloud to put out the fire.

Derpy turned to the tall human Dave. "Maybe they're looking for marshmallows?"

Nathan got up. "Derpy... no, that's just... no." He turned to Twilight. "We need to wake up Spike. I... I think we need to tell the princess about this. About everything..."

"NO!" Twilight screeched. "We can't tell the princess about this! We can't tell anypony about this!" she got up. Twilight was in full nervous breakdown/lockdown mode. She looked bizarre as she rocked back and fourth, wearing a black-leather body suit, eye patch, headband and really bad manecut.

"What choice do we have?! They're gonna know something's wrong when they find Applejack!" Nathan yelled in response.

"Oh, Applejack will be fine," Pinkie said assuredly. "You sure you don't want a banana? It'll make you feel all bet- woa-oh-oh!" Pinkie said, starting to vibrate rapidly as she walked. She quickly dropped the bananas she was carrying all over the ground.

"Is that your Pinkie sense again?" Derpy asked.

"It's-s-s-s a-a-a-a bi-I-I-I-g o-o-o-one!" Pinkie said, continuing to bounce along the ground.

Dave shook his head as he watched the mare. "I think we've already established the Pinkie sense is broken." Still, Twilight's eyes scanned the skies above them. Finally, the pink mare stopped bouncing.

"Twilight, we have to write to the princess. She's the only one who could possibly fix all this," Nathan explained as his tears faded. He knew what they had they had to do, they had to tell someone. There was no other option, they all needed help... some more than others. Even if Celestia and Luna were both away, they still needed know as quickly as possible.

"O... okay," Twilight finally said. She looked over to Spike. The dragon's face was white with ash and his eyes were closed shut tightly. "Spike, wake up."

"Ermarara... ermara..." the dragon muttered incoherently. He was way out of it, barely conscious.

"I don't think he's in any condition to send a letter, Nathan," Twilight said, examining her assistant.

"Wonderful," Nathan said, both weary and sarcastic. "What are we going to do now?"

Pinkie offered Dave one of the bananas she hadn't dropped. He took it with a smile and tried to peel it.

"Hey... Pinkie, this isn't a banana," he said.

"It's not? It was in the bunch with them," Pinkie said.

"Is it a banana muffin?" Derpy asked, hovering over.

Dave continued fiddling with the banana until a panel popped off the front of it. "Wait... it's a... phone?"

"It's a banana phone!" Pinkie shouted in declaration. "It's probably a good thing you didn't eat it without trying to peel it first!"

"How does that help us?!" Nathan asked. "It's still not going to work; we're in Equestria!"

Dave held it up to his ear. "Nathan, it's got a dial tone!"

"Give it here!" Nathan ran over. Carefully, David handed Nathan the phone and the red unicorn picked it up with both of his hooves. He then looked down at it and back up to his best friend.

"Could you dial Leena's number first?"

Dave picked the phone back up, dialed the number, hit the 'call' button and handed it back. Nathan held the banana phone to his ear as it rang.

"Hello?" Leena's voice asked from the other end. "Who is this?"

"Leena, it's Nathan," he said, his voice sounding strained.

"Where have you been, Nathan? The wedding's in an hour. Where's Jen and Fluttershy? They're supposed to be helping me with my gown."

Nathan almost dropped the phone. He had to hold it with his hooves, he wasn't going to try magic again. Not after what happened. "I... I don't know, Leena. A lot of stuff has happened. I don't even know where to begin... I'm talking to you on a banana."

"Nathan, what's going on?" she asked. "Why aren't you here?"

Nathan looked to Twilight Sparkle. Their faces looked equally pained. "We lost your sister and Fluttershy," Nathan confessed into the phone. Admitting the fact didn't make him feel any better. In fact, he felt his stomach sink.

There was a pause on the phone. "You what?"

"We lost your sister and Fluttershy," he repeated. "And that's not the worst. We... we went to a Conversion Bureau last night."

Another long pause. "Nathan, I don't understand. What does that mean?"

"Leena, it means I'm a pony."

Author's Note

Hopefully, this will be more fun. Had to be intentionally vague about the details, the question why is this should be popping up a lot because that's what we're going to be getting into. Adding in Future Twilight was especially enjoyable.