Nightmare Mom

Oddly, it was warm. Much warmer than usual. And... painful. Somewhat. Stiff, too. You can feel your joints popping as you stir, something very bright right in front of your eyes. Somepony must have started a fire and you fell asleep next to it. But it didn't explain why you were so stiff. Did Nightmare and I fight agai- The memories come flooding back: the Elements, your mother livid, and a lot of fighting. The last thing you recall is pain.

You try to open your eyes and are assaulted with light. You squeeze them closed again, and attempt to open them slowly. It works a little, and your room slowly comes into focus. You notice you aren't anywhere near a fire. In fact, there is no fire. Your fireplace has burned logs in it, and embers from a long-dead fire, but somehow, your room is warmer and far better lit than you've ever seen it. Colors pop with a vibrancy you've never seen, not even in books, and you realize just how many bright colors are in your room.

You look around, and see a book next to you. Your eyes widen in shock as you recognize it: it's one of yours, one of the ones hidden under your bed. Not far from the book, curled up and sleeping soundly in a chair next to your bed is a small blue mare, with a light blue mane and tail. She has a horn and wings, like you, and...

A cutie mark of a moon over a large black splotch.

You can feel your anger building, but try to stifle it. It looks like the Queen's, but... not. Something has definitely changed. You tear yourself away, the mare having taken no notice of your movement, and you pull yourself out of bed. Twinges of pain lance through you, and you look to see yourself covered in bandages, recently changed. They smell of the ointment the healers used to clean wounds and speed recovery, a bitter smell. You pull them off and drop them to the floor, pleased that your magic still works. You head to your balcony, stretching your wings.

The city nearly blinds you, and you raise a hoof to block the intense light in the sky. You attempt your slow adjustment from before, opening your eyes slowly, but this process takes much longer than before. When you adjust, you see why. Canterlot gleams like never before, the light in the sky reflecting off of the golden rooftops and white spires. You finally look into the sky to see what the light is, and you catch a glimpse of an orb before you are forced to look away. You blink away the after image, and decide it would be wise not to look again.

“The sun... but how?” If you had lost to Nightmare Moon, she would have killed you. So that meant that the Elements had to have arrived before she got to you and destroyed her. You smile at the thought. “At least I got to hit her back.” As you look around, you catch a glimpse of yourself in one of the glass doors to your balcony, and notice your mane has finally become completely ethereal. It catches the sunlight as you move, making it shimmer blue at its edges, deepening to an opaque navy blue in the middle. And even still the middle manages to glimmer a bit. You nod in approval. “Looks like that legend was true, too.”

You return to your room, noticing there's several letters sitting on your dresser. You pick them up, and notice one is from Twilight Sands, one is from Shimmer, and another is from Nightshade. Before you can open one, you hear the mare stir and yawn. You put the letters down, and decide to read them later.

The mare looks at you groggily, rubbing sleep from her eyes. When she finishes, she gasps and bounds toward you, grabbing you in a massive hug, and nuzzles your neck as she talks. “Nebulus! I'm so glad you're awake! When I saw how badly you were hurt, I was so scared I'd lose you!” She looks at you, smiling. “But you're okay now, and that means everything else will be, too.” She starts hugging you even tighter.

“Who are you?” Her eyes were familiar, somehow. You had to see them again to be sure.

The mare pulls her head away to look at you. Her eyes were just like the ones from your dream. “I'm Luna. I'm, well, your mom.”

“You're the mare from my dreams...” Pieces of the puzzle were starting to fit together. “You're the one who kept showing up and disappearing just as I got close!” You shake her off of you. “Why? Why did you keep appearing? Who are you, really? Explain!”

Luna backs off. “I'm sorry, I just... You must be confused, you've been unconscious for days-”

“I said explain!”

Luna takes a breath. “I'm Princess Luna. I ruled alongside my sister, Princess Celestia, until... until I became Nightmare Moon.” Luna looks at the floor. “She banished me until I returned, when I banished her, and-”

“So, you're her.” You start stepping towards Luna. “I understand now. You thought it was some big joke. Show up when I'm reliving the worst moments of my life, night after night, and when I realize you're watching and try to catch you, you run off to go laugh!”

“No, that's not-” She backs away from you, cowering.

“That's exactly it! You weren't content to make my waking life miserable, so you had to jump into my dreams, dangle hope in front of me, and then yank it away just to watch me cry like a foal! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH BECAUSE OF YOU?! THE PONIES I'VE MURDERED AND TORTURED BECAUSE YOU WANTED ME TO?!”

“I just... I wanted-”

“WHAT DID YOU WANT? HUH? DID YOU WANT SOMETHING ELSE TO HURT ME WITH, SOME OTHER WAY TO MAKE ME WANT TO KILL MYSELF?!”

“I wanted to show I did love you!”

Your backhoof sends Luna skidding across the floor towards your door. “YOU DARE TO USE THAT WORD TO ME! YOU, THE BIGGEST WHORE I KNOW, OPENING HER DOORS NIGHTLY TO ANY STALLION WHO MIGHT WANT IN, WHO TOLD ME THE FIRST AND ONLY MARE I'VE EVER LOVED WAS JUST DOING IT BECAUSE YOU PAID HER TO, WHO ONLY KEPT ME AROUND JUST BECAUSE SHE FELT LIKE HAVING A POWERFUL SERVANT, ONLY TO HIT AND SCOLD ME IF YOU WEREN'T IGNORING ME WHEN ALL I WANTED WAS A MOTHER, DARE TO SAY THAT WORD TO ME! GET OUT OF MY SIGHT BEFORE I FINISH WHAT I STARTED!”

Luna scurries from the room as fast as her legs would carry her, tears flowing just as rapidly. It was several minutes before you managed to calm down enough to realize you had grabbed multiple heavy objects, as well as sharp ones in your rage, and put them back. You storm out to your balcony to try and calm yourself further.

You stay out there for several minutes more before you walk back inside and head for your bathroom. The water flows readily from your sink faucet, cool, but not the near freezing you were used to. You splash some of it in your face and wipe away what looks like a trail of dried soup from your mouth. Your gaze shifts over to the bathtub, which is wet, like it was used recently. A large sponge sits on the edge, also damp. A pile of bandages and healing ointment sit on a small table near it. You frown, and head back out to your room.

You return to your bed, where there are several spots on your pillows that look like food stains, and a few more on your sheets. You see the book laying on your bed, and pick it up. It's one of your most read ones, “The Trials of Sir Artorias.” You notice that there's a piece of paper in the book. You open the book and remove the paper, see it's blank, and toss it aside. The book, you notice, is open to a page where a mother is mourning her lost son. You remember the chapter well, wishing your mother cared about you enough to react like that if she ever found out you had died. The son had gone off to play with his friends, when they went to explore a cave. In that cave happened to be a dragon, and the foals scattered within the cave. Sir Artorias slew the dragon, and found a few of the foals, and the rest were dead. You remember admiring him for his bravery, both in fighting the dragon and bringing the news home himself to the parents.

You replace the paper and close the book. If that book was out, did that mean Luna was reading it? And why that one? Was she reading it to you, somehow knowing that you liked it, or did she just pick one at random? In fact, how did she know they were there in the first place? You look at the chair she was sleeping in before, and notice that it's starting to compress where she was laying. It was a new chair, so you hadn't sat on it all that much, but the compression indicated that it had been heavily used. Did she not leave the chair the entire time you were unconscious? It certainly seemed like it, if she wasn't doing something for you. Regret starts to tug at your mind.

You turn your attention to the letters. The top one was from Nightshade. You open it and read: “Hey kid. I heard what happened. That was the craziest thing I've ever heard somepony do, let alone live through. But if anypony was going to survive, it'd be you. I've always known how tough you were, having pretty much raised you. Anyway, when you're feeling better, write back. We need to get a drink, so you can tell me how badly you kicked the hay out of Moonbutt.”

You chuckle to yourself, and turn to the next one, from Shimmer. “You continue to surprise me, Nebulus. I found it hard to believe you sold us out, especially after what you said to us, until you showed up in the throne room. And then you blast your own mother with a force I've never seen before. And to take her on while we got the Elements? We nearly didn't make it. I guess both Nightmare Moon and her guards forgot that she's the only one who could open the enchantment on her vault. I'm sorry for doubting you. We all are. We're all hoping you come out of this okay, and if you can, we'd like to thank you in person, for giving us the chance we needed.”

You move to the final letter, from Twilight Sands. Multiple lines are scratched out at the beginning, all of which are various insults at your intelligence. “Alright, sorry about the mess. But can you blame me? I just see you, you finally seem happy, and all of a sudden, you go and attack the queen. Was that your big plan? Kill her, or beat her up, or whatever? If it was, it was bucking stupid! You could have died! You're comatose now! What if you never wake up?” Several more lines are scratched out and slightly smudged. You can't read them. “Just, come see me when you wake up, so I can kick the hay out of you for making me worry so much.”

You put the letter down, smiling. The smile fades as you look at the door Luna fled through. You sigh and walk out, knowing what you need to do now.

Your mother's room wasn't too far from yours, but was a safe enough distance. You can't hear anything through the door, but you were certain that this is where she would have gone. You take a breath, and knock. After a few moments with no response, you raise your hoof to knock again before the door opens. You step inside.

The first thing you notice isn't Luna, it's a very large alicorn mare with a coat such a light shade of pink you almost mistook it for white that you assume is her sister. And the old noble ponies were right: she was beautiful. She fixes you with amethyst eyes, one of which is covered by her flowing rainbow mane. Her expression is completely neutral as Luna pulls her head away from her sister's body, most of the rest of her covered by her sister's wing.

You summon your voice. “I wish to speak to Luna, in private.”

Luna looks down at the floor, and her sister looks at her briefly. Luna nods almost imperceptibly. Her sister rises from the bed and says something into Luna's ear, then strides past you. You notice she's only slightly taller than you.

You step towards Luna as you hear the door close. She's still looking at the floor. “I wanted to apologize for my... outburst earlier.”

“Don't. You're angry, and you should be.” Luna looks at you and rises from the bed. Her eyes are red from crying. “I've been a horrible mother to you, and everything you said was true. I don't know why I thought I could change that with a few words.”

You seat yourself in front of her.

“I've been thinking, and I don't really remember your dreams. I just remember knowing you were in pain, and wanting to do something about it. I'd never admit it as Nightmare Moon, but I guess some part of me was trying to reach out to you, show you I did care, that I did want you as a son. I can see how you'd misunderstand that.”

“And you were trying to show me while I was unconscious, and make up for lost time.”

Luna nods. “That book on your bed, I was reading it to you. I just pulled it out from under your bed. I don't know why I never thought to look there.” She smiles sadly. “I never left your room, even though Tia wanted me to introduce myself to the kingdom. I saw you after the battle, what I did to you, and... I wanted to be there when you woke up. I wanted to tell you I'm sorry for everything, and I'd understand if you couldn't forgive me, but I wanted to at least try, even for a few days, to be the mother I never was. To be there for you when you needed me most. And to tell you that I'm so very, very proud of you for standing up to me, despite everything I did to break you down.”

She said it. And this time, for something good. Something warm forms in your heart. “Thank you. And you're right, I am angry. I see you, and I see all the shouting, all the beatings, all the faces of all the ponies I've harmed over the years. But I came here because the cycle of hate needs to break, and I just needed some of my friends to remind me of that. You took the first step by coming to me, and I wanted to say,” you take a breath, “I'm willing to try.”

Luna's smile expands as you speak, and when you finish, she hugs you, like she did before. “That's all I want. A chance.”

Tentatively, you reach your own forelegs up, and return the hug.