I'm writing this, and sending it out to the world. My lovely wife thinks I should tell my story, and I have to agree. I've seen and done so much, I've watched empires fall and tyrants lie broken in the dust. I can't just lock away everything I've learned, not share everything I've seen. So, on with the story.
It was a cloudy, grey day. The sort of day that makes you want to curl up in front of a fire with a book. The sort of day that gets some people depressed.
I loved it. For the middle of summer, the few cloudy days we got were amazing, cool and comfortable. A nice break from the sweltering heat. The kind of day where it feels great to sit back in a hammock and play your guitar, which was just what I was doing. It was my favorite way to relax, to let everything go. Let out all my troubles, send them away on the notes that I play. Music was my passion, my only real escape.
I strummed the guitar, thinking. I wasn't really paying attention to what I was playing. I thought of what would happen in the future. Call me a mushy romantic, but all I really wanted was to find a wife, have a bunch of kids, raise a family. Maybe it was because of my own failure of a father, I wanted to be the best dad ever. I wanted to give my kids what I never had.
It was thoughts like these that filled my head as I sat there, not really paying attention to my surroundings. So I didn't notice when a bright light began to shine from nowhere. Suddenly, a blinding flash of white, then nothing.
The first thing I thought was that I had fallen asleep, and out of the hammock. Onto my face. The second was that it wasnt my face that was hurting, it was everything. The third was a little more alarming. I couldnt move my fingers. I opened my eyes, panicking. Everything was very, very bright. The colors were vibrant and blinding, and I rose an arm to block the light. It was then I noticed a fourth, even more terrifying thing. My arm was grey. Grey, furry, and distinctly hoofed.
"What the fuck!" I scrambled backward away from my own arm, the back of my head slamming into something. I swore again and reached up instinctively, only to hit myself in the face. Which lead to more swearing and a groan of pain. I rubbed at my eyes with the back of my. . .hoof.
"Its just a dream its just a dream. . ." I mumbled to myself, trying hard not to panic even more. I cracked an eye open and sighed. I was still grey, furry, and in a hospital bed? Yep, very distinctly hospital bed. In a generic hospital room too, with the obligatory depressing plant by the window and recliner in the corner. I looked down at myself, pulling a sheet off my body. I was. . .different. My body was completely changed from what I was used to. I was hurt, apparently, for there were several white bandages around me, a stark contrast to my coat. The grey fur continued down my chest, my stomach, and my. . .well. I was no longer bipedal, my hind legs clearly those of a four legged animal. I even had a. . .
"Holy shit is that a tail?" I reached down and grabbed my tail, running a hoof over it. It was a lighter shade of grey with a silver streak in it, and it was fluffy. Very fluffy. I wanted to, and did, rub my face in it. It was glorious.
"Well, I dont believe I've ever seen somepony that fond of their tail." I heard a female voice say. I didn't think about it for a second, before turning to look. A white horse stood there, watching me with a smile. Well, not horse. The dimensions were off. Huge expressive eyes, short muzzle. . .trimmed mane? And a nurses hat? I blinked, staring at the not-horse. Then it hit me. It. . .she, spoke. I think. And said something about ponies. So I opened my mouth and said the best thing I could think of.
"What?"
It. . .she, giggled. Like, really giggled. Yep, very feminine. So she would be a. . .mare.
"I mean to say, I've never seen a pony admire their tail quite like that." She trotted over, and smiled at me.
"I'm nurse Redheart, whats your name?"
Well, I couldnt exactly tell her my name. A horse, er, pony, with a human name. Besides, I'm not a fan of my name anyway. But what do they name themselves, besides Redheart?
"Uhh. . ." I looked around, trying to subtly find myself a name. A clock hung on the wall, ticking slowly. A plaque on the far wall had a picture of a mare on it, and a name underneath. Healing Touch, it read. Well, that looks rather normalish. Adjective, and then a verb. Or a noun, I would suppose. I looked around some more, looking for something to use as a name. Only one thing caught my eye. A solitary cloud, floating in the wind.
"Cloud. Cloud Wind." I looked at her, hoping I had not been too obvious about my lack of a name. She didn't seem to notice, and smiled again.
"Lovely. Let me just check up on your injuries and I'll be off." She said, checking my bandages and vitals. I watched her aptly, trying to appear as normal as possible.
"So uh. . .what happened? Why am I in a hospital?" I smiled at her, trying to hide my fear and nervousness.
"You mean you don't remember? My, that fall must have been worse than we thought." Redheart gasped, putting a surprisingly gentle hoof to my face and peering into my eyes.
"You fell, dear. Lucky for you, Rainbow Dash saw you and managed to catch you before you hit, or you probably would have died. As it is, you've got three broken ribs, a broken hind leg, and a concussion."
I winced at my own injuries. Now that I was thinking about them, they started to hurt. Damn you, Redheart. I rubbed at the bandage around my chest, frowning.
"What about. . .er, Rainbow Dash?" I looked up at the nurse. I really wanted to know, I didnt want anyone to get hurt on my account.
"Oh, she will be fine. She hurt her wing and wont be able to fly for a week or so, but she will be fine otherwise."
I sighed, sinking back into the remarkably fluffy bed. I always hated it when others had to protect me. I had been weak for so long. . .i hated to be reminded of it.
"Could I go see her?" I asked, looking up at the nurse. She paused, a hoof at her chin as she gazed off into the distance.
"I can't see why not, but not now. Tomorrow at the soonest." she busied herself with the sheets, brushing them off and fluffing them.
I sighed again, and nodded, staring up at the ceiling. I hadnt been here for an hour yet and I was already bored. I heard hoofsteps and the door shut, and closed my eyes. My tail curled up in front of me, and I pressed my muzzle into it, welcoming the embrace of sleep.
Unfortunately, sleep didn't welcome me. It must have been hours later that I rolled over, looking up at the clock. It was to my dismay that I discovered it was only fifteen minutes ago that Redheart had come in.
"Ugh." I moaned into my tail, before stretching out and slamming the back of my head into my pillow. I closed my eyes tightly, until the world started to swirl and spin.
It was shaping to be a long, long day. And without a book or guitar or any other means of entertainment, I was going to get very bored. Boredom and I do not mix well. I tend to do stupid things.
Like the one I was contemplating right now, walking on a broken leg. I slowly shifted myself to the side of the bed, peering over the side. It wasnt that far down, easily within arm, er, foreleg-reach. I threw the sheets off of myself, and rolled over, sliding off the bed and landing on my front hooves. It was. . .odd. I shook my head and slowly walked forward until I could swing my hind legs down. I balanced against the bed, leaning on my good leg. My other leg, my left one, was wrapped up in numerous bandages and felt heavy, throbbing with my heartbeat. It didnt really hurt though, so I tapped it against the floor, testing it. Still not much more than a twinge, so I gently rested some weight on it. When nothing bad seemed to happen, I slowly made my way to the door. It wasnt as hard to walk on four legs as I expected. It was actually quite easy. It would, however, take some time to get used to not having fingers. It was rather akin to crawling, except without having long legs and feet dragging behind you.
Still, the door seemed very far away, and while I may pretend to know how to walk, I still was trying to walk on hooves for the first time, with a broken leg. I've never been one to give up, though, and so I slowly made my way to the door, leaning against various objects on my quest for freedom.
Finally, I was at the door. Thankfully there was no knob, because I have no idea what I would do if there was. Instead, I pushed the door open with my nose, and peered out into the hall. It seemed deserted, with every other door shut except for one, the last one before the stairs. It was silent, too, the kind of silent you only find in a hospital. Not quiet, but silent. There were beeps and chirps and things humming, the buzzing of insects at the windows, the relentless dinging of medical equipment. But it was silent. There was no life, no joy, no sorrow, no pain, no happiness. It was an empty place, filled with the haunting prayers and last breaths of the ones that once filled its beds. There for but a moment, then gone, leaving nothing behind but a lingering chill.
The fur on the back of my neck raised as I thought that, my side pressed against a wall. I could feel everything for a moment, the beating of my heart, the breeze on my coat, the slight ridge in the paint on the wall. And something else, something hiding in the corner of my eye, something that made me feel both so sad and so happy, so crowded and so alone. Needless to say, I don't like hospitals very much.
I shook my head and continued on, eyes set on the open door at the end of the hall. It creeped closer, barely seeming to move as I made my way along the wall. My hoofsteps echoed loudly along the empty hallway as I limped along, sounding like there were several other crippled ponies walking alongside me. I thought for sure that I would wake somepony up, or somehow a nurse would come along and end my little escape. Thankfully, nothing of the sort happened, and I finally made it to the door.
Leaning against the frame, I peered around the corner and into the room. It was there that I saw a cyan mare, with a rainbow mane. I slowly approached the bed, staring down at her. This could only be Rainbow Dash. She was. . .beautiful. Wait, did I just think that?
I sat down next to the bed, not taking my eyes from her. She breathed gently, quietly, asleep. Her eyelids fluttered as she dreamed, and occasionally her nose or ear would twitch.
I sat there for a while, thinking. Who would this mare risk her life for a stallion she had never met? For one who could just as easily have left her to die? Not that I would have. But to show such heroism, such trust, for another, that was something I always wanted to do. To have something worth dying for. Something worth living for and fighting for and suffering for and bleeding for. Right then, I felt something. I felt myself being drawn to that mare in the bed, something bridging more than the few feet between us. Connecting us far beyond a physical touch.
And then, I had the urge to sing.
White walls surround us
No light will touch your face again
Rain taps the window
As we sleep among the dead
I laid a gentle hoof to her muzzle, brushing back a bit off her mane.
Days go on forever
But I have not left your side
We can chase the dark together
If you go then so will I
I sunk back into a chair, staring at the ceiling as I sang.
There is nothing left of you
I can see it in your eyes
Sing the anthem of the angels
And say the last goodbye
Cold light above us
Hope fills the heart and fades away
Skin white as winter
As the sky returns to grey
Days go on forever
But I have not left your side
We can chase the dark together
If you go then so will I
There is nothing left of you
I can see it in your eyes
Sing the anthem of the angels
And say the last goodbye
I keep holding on to you
But I cant bring you back to life
Sing the anthem of the angels
And say the last goodbye
Your dead alive, your dead alive
Your dead alive, you dead alive
There is nothing left of you
I can see it in your eyes
Sing the anthem of the angels
And say the last goodbye
I keep holding onto you
But I cant bring you back to life
Sing the anthem of the angels
And say the last goodbye
Sing the anthem of the angels
And say the last goodbye
Sing the anthem of the angels
Tears were pouring down my face by the end of the song. I had never put so much of my very soul into a song before, so much it hurt.
Quiet hoofsteps sounded behind me, and I heard somepony wipe their tears away.
"That, was beautiful." It was Nurse Redheart. She stepped around me and sniffed again.
"I've never heard anything that could be so tragic and so hopeful at the same time."
"It was. . .beautiful." A scratchy, unfamiliar voice said. I looked up and into a beautiful pair of rose colored eyes. I stared for a moment, before smiling gently.
"I'm glad you like it."
She smiled at me, before coughing into her hoof.
"I can't say I've ever had a colt sing to me before, though." She smirked, looking around the room.
"Well, I'm glad I was your first." I smirked back, and she laughed weakly.
"I like you, you got spunk. Whats your name?"
"Cloud, Cloud Wind."
"Nice to meecha Cloud Wind. I'm Rainbow Dash."
I was lounging back in the recliner, fore hooves behind my head as I watched Rainbow wave hers about, telling of how she saw and rescued me. She was actually quite the storyteller, making me feel like I was there, instead of being the helpless pony in need of rescue.
"So what was that song you were singing earlier? It was really cool." She asked, grinning at me. I shrugged, coming up with a quick cover story.
"Just a song I heard somewhere. I can't claim it, much as I would like too." I answered, rubbing at the back of my neck, embarrassed.
"It was awesome! You know any more?" She asked, sounding bright and chipper, despite her broken wing and ribs. I opened my mouth to reply, when Redheart came bustling in.
"Sorry Rainbow Dash, but a serenade will have to wait. I need to check on Cloud's wing." She walked over to me, and started undoing the bandage around my middle. I, meanwhile, was doing my best to keep my mouth from hanging open. She needed to check on what? Wing? Did I hear that right? I HAVE WINGS????
While the nurse was gently removing the bandage, I was quite close to hyper ventilating and screaming with joy. I had always wanted wings, to be able to fly. To have freedom, be able to go anywhere, anytime. To not be bound to the ground, to be able to truly soar.
So, I was ecstatic to finally see the bandages fall of and reveal a pair of fluffy, feathery grey wings. I cant believe I didnt feel them before, because now that they were free, and I was thinking about it, I could feel every trace of wind. I could feel Redhearts breath as she examined them, gentle hooves checking for fractures. It was indescribable but amazing, and I grinned like a fool as I ran a hoof along the feathers.
"Wow. Nice set of wings, Cloud. Good span, you should have some speed on you." Rainbow Dash said, leaning over the edge of the bed to analyze my new favorite limbs. Wait. . .was she blushing? Yeah she was. Noticing that made me blush too, and look away. I could hear her cough awkwardly, shuffling around on the bed. I stared pointedly at the ceiling, before looking down to glare at a snickering nurse. She shook her head, as she jotted down some things on a clipboard.
"All's well, Mr. Cloud. But I would avoid flying for a day or two." She trotted over to examine Rainbow Dash, leaving me relatively alone to my thoughts. Specifically, thoughts of Rainbow and why she was blushing. I looked my self over, nothing but a cast on my leg now. My fur was rather matted and unclean looking, particularly where the bandage around my chest was. Of course, I used to be a human, so my opinion on pony appearance wasnt worth much.
"Then why did you think she was beautiful?" I whispered to myself, glancing over at Rainbow. She had her forelegs crossed and was pouting as Redheart told her something she obviously didnt want to hear.
"No flying for a week. If you do anything more than opening your wing to preen, you might make it worse. And then it will take longer to heal. Got it?" The nurse said, reminding me of a drill instructor.
"Fine. . ." Rainbow mumbled, huffing. She obviously loved flying, and I hated to hear she would be grounded for so long, especially since it was my fault. Redheart nodded, wrote some more on the clipboard, and turned to go.
"I'm sorry Rainbow Dash, but it's for your own good. By the way, Cloud. . ." She turned back, placing something in my hooves. It was a beautiful acoustic guitar, with a shining finish and intricate scrollwork around the edges and sound hole. I picked it up, reverently, a smile growing on my face.
"I thought you might like that. It used to be my brother's, but he moved on and left it. Keep it for a while, it's only gathering dust at my house." The smiling mare said, hoofing over a bag with various things, straps, tuners, strings, picks, that sort of thing. I grinned wider and gently strummed it, listening to how she sang.
"Thank you so much, Nurse Redheart. I promise I'll take good care of it."
She merely nodded and walked away, leaving me to gently pluck at the strings. I had no idea how I was doing it without fingers, but it worked, and I could play just as well as I used to.
"Come on, sing me something else!" Rainbow urged, a wide grin on her face. She barely held back a squeak, and blushed, making me grin. I had never met anyone who enjoyed my singing that much. I was just about to start a song, when there was a knock at the door.
"Howdy Rainbow. Who's this?" An orange pony, with a blonde mane, and remarkably, a stetson, walked in, smiling at us. I opened my mouth again, this time to introduce myself, when I was interrupted again, this time by a white. . .unicorn? She trotted in, head held high, a small smile on her face. Her mane and tail, purple and curled, were obviously well kept, as was the rest of her. There wasnt a speck of dirt on her, whereas the other visitor seemed to scream farmer.
"Greetings, Rainbow Dash. Oh my, who's this? I didn't know you had a coltfriend, Rainbow. Come to sing her a song in the hospital, are we? How romantic!" at the end of that, she squealed in happiness, hooves clasped to her heart as she swooned back into the other mare. She didn't seem to notice how hard both Rainbow Dash and I were blushing, or our stammered denials.
"Rarity, leave'm be. They obviously aint too comfortable with the subject." The first mare said, pushing the white unicorn off her, who then stood and glared.
"Just because you cannot appreciate a little romance, Applejack, does not mean we all dont." She huffed, before turning back to me. I was still blushing, head lowered as I tried to turn invisible.
"What is your name, good sir?" She asked, still sounding ridiculously happy.
"Cloud. Cloud Wind. . .and Rainbow and I aren't dating." I said, quickly, so nopony would interrupt me again.
"Oh. . .of course not." the mare, Rarity, said, deflating a little.
"We're not! Cloud was just about to sing, so if you to'd hush, you need to listen! It's almost as awesome as me." Rainbow boasted, giving me a wink and a grin. I smiled nervously back, before looking at the other two.
"I wouldnt mind hearin ya. Sing somthin for us!" The other pony, apparently named Applejack, encouraged, sitting down in one of the other chairs. I looked to Rarity, who nodded and sat down as well. I gulped, and sat up, grasping the guitar, a little nervous. They were all leaning closer, smiling with anticipation. They really wanted to hear me sing, something noone had every shown before. I'll admit I loved it. It was nice to be complemented on something, especially if you loved doing it, too. And so, I relaxed, and started playing, the notes flowing like a river.
It's down to this
I've got to make this life make sense
Can anyone tell what I've done
I miss the life
I miss the colours of the world
Can anyone tell where I am
'Cause now again I've found myself
So far down, away from the sun
That shines into the darkest place
I'm so far down, away from the sun again
Away from the sun again
I'm over this
I'm tired of living in the dark
Can anyone see me down here
The feeling's gone
There's nothing left to lift me up
Back into the world I know
And now again I've found myself
So far down, away from the sun
That shines into the darkest place
I'm so far down, away from the sun
That shines to light the way for me
To find my way back into the arms
That care about the ones like me
I'm so far down, away from the sun again
It's down to this
I've got to make this life make sense
And now I can't tell what I've done
And now again I've found myself
So far down, away from the sun
That shines to light the way for me
'Cause now again I've found myself
So far down, away from the sun
That shines into the darkest place
I'm so far down, away from the sun
That shines to light the way for me
To find my way back into the arms
That care about the ones like me
I'm so far down, away from the sun again
Oh no... Yeah... I'm gone...
I had done it again. I had sung my very soul out, putting so much into that song that tears were dripping onto the guitar. I had sung many times before, but now it seemed so. . Pure. So raw, and powerful, filled with more meaning than it ever had before.
It had always been my dream to play for others, to touch them the way music has touched me. To give them something to hold onto when things went wrong. Something to inspire, to protect, something that would change the world, long after I was gone. Here, I realized I could, in a way I never dreamed of before. I could change the world in a way I had never imagined, and weave dreams with the notes I played. With the songs I sung. I could do so much, and I wanted to. I needed to.
It was then, also, that I realized something else. I didn't miss being human. Sure, I'd miss fingers, but this, somehow, fit me more perfectly than fingers ever did. I felt. . .at peace, for the first time in a long while. I looked over to Rainbow Dash, who was valiantly trying not to cry, and smiled. I had no clue about this mare, but she seemed so special to me. I had no idea who she was, not really, but she meant so much more to me than any had before. It scared me. But there was something about her that drew me to her like a moth to flame. And to be honest, I really didn't want to fight it.
"That was. . ." Applejack gulped, tears shining in her eyes. I had almost forgotten they were there. She was sitting there, hat in her hooves, staring at it as she sniffed. Meanwhile, Rarity was quietly sobbing into a kerchief, shoulders heaving as she bawled. I started to feel bad, and set the guitar to the side, frowning.
"Beautiful!" Rarity cried, before sinking her muzzle back in the kerchief, as Applejack nodded.
"I've never heard anything like that. . .it was amazin, sugarcube." The orange mare nodded, as Rainbow Dash smirked.
"See? I told you he was awesome!"
I was blushing again by then, looking at the floor. I didn't think I was that good, but apparently I was. I looked up at all of them, smiling softly.
"Thanks, you guys. . .it means a lot." I said, and they all smiled back.
"Our pleasure, Darling. Any friend of Rainbow's is a friend of ours. Especially is he can sing as good as you do." Rarity winked, wiping her eyes one last time. I smiled at her, and she went over and hugged Rainbow gently, ignoring the fact that the grounded pegasus didn't seem to like it too much.
"Get well soon, Rainbow Dash." She smiled at us all again, and left. Applejack trotted over and bumped hooves with Rainbow, wishing her a quick recovery. Then, to my surprise, she came over and offered her hoof to me.
"I hope ta see you round Ponyville, Cloud. Ya seem like a nice feller." She smiled at me, wide and genuine. I bumped the offered hoof with my own, and grinned.
"Don't worry, I plan on sticking around for a good long while." I didn't pay much attention to her leaving though. No, I was more focused on how relieved Rainbow Dash seemed to be, after hearing I was going to stay. . .