Outsiders' Guide to Equestria

by StockPhotos

Rating: everyone
Tags: Alternate Universe, Adventure, Human
Length: 2161

So my friend Jack and I were just playing around with our dads' theoretical teleporters and ended up in where our sisters' drea.s had taken them.

WE CRACKED DIMENSIONAL SHIFTING! Well, our dads did, but we just don't know how wedid it. We were messing around with their project… and wound up here. If you ever get stuck in a dimension where horses, ponies, can talk, then take our advice. Trust me on this one, buckle up because it's going to be a bumpy ride as we traverse the lands of equestria findind a way home and learning about the pony-human war.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-10-05 05:26:38 UTC

What have we gotten into this time.

We were messing around with our dads' teleportation project. Jack and I, Matt Reynolds, had dads who worked together in a science lab. They made a teleporter. It worked by changing an object's state of matter to a gas and let it travel through a tube to the "reciever" where the object would solidify. We tested it with or dads on an apple, and then a grasshopper. They turned out fine. Then when our dads weren't around we thought, "why not us" so without thinking things through, we did. It did not turn out well. We thought we were in the middle of nowhere at first.

Then after walking around for a few minutes we noticed dust picking up in the background. The terrain was grassy but with a few dirt patches here and there. Jack shouted, " Stampede, RUN!" and of course we turned direction and ran. Whatever it was, it was moving fast, and in our direction. We couldn't get far before we noticed what was pursuing us. It was a herd of seemingly well trained horses. They circled around us, as if to trap us. They did, and it worked. "They were trained to do this." I thought. Jack and I found them riderless, much a surprise. Jack and I had no idea what to do, but we didn't have to figure it out.

A blue winged horse, referred to as a pegasus in greek mythology, spoke as leader, "What are Humans doing in equestria, we had a treaty stating you banished from Equestria." Jack and I knew we were in the realm of that show for five year old girls, with talking ponies. I could tell because we both had younger sisters. We exchanged a look of exhaustion and, "Why us," as if we had a telepathic conversation. I swear he had his "This is all your fault" face on, staring right at me.

I was certainly confused. "What treaty are you possibly talking about? We had no idea at all that this place existed." I had to say which had only angered her.

"You must go to see the princess at once, perhaps she will know your punishment" clearly comanding us, the pegasus pony yelled at us to travel at spear-point in direction of a town, to make it better she even constantly yelled at us to travel faster. We had reached a small town, similar to how I had imagined the town from my grandfather's stories. He was a farmer, in a small town with only a few general stores, a gas station or two, and a farmer's market. Except this had lots of gaurds patrolling the town, and lots more buildings. We kept silent the whole walk, we had no intentions to get stabbed right now. We were clueless as to where we were. While walking through the town it was empty, except for guards being every where, but it felt you were being watched and feared and hated from every direction. We had eventually made our way to a fantastic piece of architectural schemes from what appears to be from the middle ages, a castle. "This is the palace, in here is the princess. No funny business once inside, got it." Practicly shouting was that blue pegesus that loved to give orders.

I had nodded, while Jack just said "So, no CLOWNING around" trying desperately to get a smile from her, as he thought it would be a good time for a pun.

"I wonder what types of swords can slice a human the fastest" she threatened. Jack quickly snapped into shape.

"And I'm curious as to which threat is allowed to be carried through by someone with boundaries set by this princess we are to meet." I had to say that so Jack knew I had his back.

"Since niether one of you are serious, I guess I'll have to escort you." She said sounding very furious. She led us through a big gate, followed by a portcullis. There was a big hall with numerous doors and a big double door which I had to guess was the throne room. We walked across the hall to the doorway I had just described, and it was a big throne room.

A purple pegasus-unicorn jumped up and panickly alarmed "Humans!? They're banned, how are they here!"

"Calm down we've been warned not to try anything out of place." I said hoping to calm her so she wouldn't start a crisis.

"Watch youself, you're speaking to royalty human!" She had just loved putting things in their place I had noticed. "Are they unnarmed?" "Relax, they didn't have anything when I found them." She had told her.

"Well, I am Princess Twilight Sparkle, and this is my castle. I am in charge of Ponyville, the town you are currently in." She announced sounding relaxed, noticing we are no threat.

"Great, someone who doesn't want us dead, I'm Jack." Jack stated, holding out his hand for a handshake. There was a long silence in the room, nothing changed as if stopped in time, motionless to the water in goblets, and the leaves parachuting down from the tree it was on. It seems that the leaf has nestled in the grass when when the arm of Jack has fallen to his side.

"Well, I take it you do want us dead."

"I didn't say that."

"Oh, we know, you didn't say anything." Jack had accused the princess to wanting us dead.

"Jack, I think we should go before things get out of hand." I wispered, because knowing Jack things would get out of hand pretty fast.

"You can't leave!" Snorted the blue pegasus.

"Why can't we may I ask?" I questioned with hope she knows how we can go back.

"Because you shouldn't scare the ponies of Ponyville." Answered the princess.

"Then can we go home?" I had asked here.

"Maybe if the time is right, but we need to go to Canterlot and ask Celestia for the mirror."

"Then let's go."

"Train's are closed for line repairs."

"Then we shall walk."

"Alright we just need to pack." She said, eager to help us with the journey.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, who's we? I'm not going." Rebelled the pegasus.

"Rainbow, you're coming as well as Fluttershy, AJ, Rarity, Spike and Pinky are all going. If you could, please go let them know, and take the Humans as well." Commanded the princess.

"Fine, I'll go get them." Rainbow moodily agreeing to do her task. "But you get Spike, alright Twi." Rainbow finished.

"Deal." The princess shook on it with Rainbow.

Getting the show on the road!

       "I hope you humans are worth all this effort, walking to canterlot. It'll easily be a day or two, and I could've been using that time to practice for airshows." Muttered Rainbow, thinking us worthless, annoying creatures. "Our first stop is at Sugarcube Corner."

"What's there that we need?" I was just Itching to ask. We were staring right at it the same time I had even asked. It was a big pink building.

"One of my friends on the list is here." Rainbow shouted defensively, holding a list with symbols I could come nowhere to deciphering. "Why must humans be so clueless." I heard her whisper to herself.

"I am not always this clueless" I said answering her retorical question." It is just that I am in a new world completely different to my own"

"OH MY GOSH! NEW FACES! NEW FACES! Well, except yours, Rainbow Dash." Said an ecstatic voice coming from a pink pony.

"Be careful Pinkie, they can't be trusted." Warned Rainbow.

"Okey Dokey Lokey" agreed the ever excited Pinky.

"Well, if we continue at this rate getting on the road will take too long. I suggest we split up, 2 and 2." I said hoping to get the show on the road.

"Alright, but I'm going to watch you. So Pinky, you're with the other human" Commanded Rainbow.

"O Kay." Said Pinky.

So we split up, Jack with Pinky and me with Rainbow. Rainbow did all the talking and explaining. We were silent the entire time, exchanging looks of distrust every now and then.

By around three we had gathered all our gear and decided roles. Apple Jack would manage provisions, Spike would send and receive letters, Rarity would set up camp, Fluttershy would tend our wounds, if we got any, Twilight would be our navigator, Jack and I can't touch anything and Pinky has this ... ability.

After we started taking our three day hike Apple Jack asks "So, what do humans eat"

" That depends," I said,"What did you pack food wise"

"Umm, lets see here, Apples"

"Check"

"Salads"

"Check"

"Dandelions"

"Dandelions?" I questioned.

"Yeah, is that a problem?"

"No, just that we don't eat dandelions"

"Why don't you"- AJ was cut off.

"We should make camp here" said Rarity.

"Works for me" agreed Rainbow. The sun was beginning to set.

I made a fire pit by digging a hole and threw some sticks in strategically.

"Ugh, humans can be as filthy as dogs!" Exclaimed Rarity.

"Oh, but I quite like dogs." Said Fluttershy.

"So is it a good thing or a bad thing that I take criticism lightly." I unrealizingly threatened. "I'm going into the forest to get more firewood" I announced

"NO!" Everyone screamed except Jack.

"You can't go in there, that's the Ever Free Forest." Said Fluttershy.

"I can't go in there because..." I waited for her to answer the question.

Ambushed by sticks

"Because there are dangerous monsters that live in there!" Twilight warned. Dedicated to keeping me alive. "I can't let you get killed. We're already busy with getting you to Canterlot." She said not reassuring me that she's got my back.

"Alright, it's too dark anyway." I said, acknowledging the sky. It was getting pretty dark, even with the sky riddled with constellations. I darted my eyes to and around the sky, hoping to find my own Sun. I could not.

"Beautiful night, don't you think?" I heard uhh... Rarity ask as she too was admiring it. I remembered the time my grandpa took me out to where his farm used to be. There was a hill, high enough to be moonlit, but not so steep. He taught me stargazing, and everything was in place. Which meant we really did cross dimensions. I remembered Rarity asked me somethig.

"Hmm... oh. Yeah, I guess it is."

"Is something wrong?" She asked with a concerned voice.

"No, just tired. Night." I told her turning to my bed roll.

"Good night"

I was having a distorted dream, I heard voices but saw nothing. I woke to the sound of howling. It sounded like a wolf... no, a pack of wolves! In alarm, I jumped up, looked around and saw nothing. Then, when I turned around I fell hard to the ground. A pile of sticks had jumped me. I screamed for help and told Jack to wake up. I was flailing my head to avoid being bit by the wolf that had pounced me. It didn't bite my head, it sank its teeth into my left shoulder. When I screamed in pain everyone woke up and was surprised to see four timber wolves in their camp. The other three were running toward me to have a feast. Much to my surprise Rainbow flew in and punched the wolf that bit me, in the snout.  It had gotten off me and stood to fight, with my ripped shirt and bleeding arm, I had no condition to do so. One of the wolves was trying to get Jack from behind.

"Jack, behind you!" I shouted, but the wolf had pounced the second he turned around. Jack was fliling his arms in front of his face to block the bites. He was unlucky as a second wolf was heading his way. I ran to Jack and kicked the wolf on top of him, in the ribs. Jack got up and ran to the fire, leaving me with two angry wolves. We paced in circles, slowly. After a few seconds, one leaps straight at me, but I avoid it. Shortly after the other leaps at me, it bites and latches to my left arm. I scream in pain once more, and the other jumps on my back. I am laying on my stomach being eaten alive by wolves. Jack comes back with a torch and sets the one on my back to flames. It flees and whimpers to the forest. Soon after the other three are set on fire and retreat. I was just lying there, helpless in a pool of my blood, vision wa  getting blurry. I heard voices.

"Come on Matt, survive!"

"Great a human is dying when we need them to be alive" I assume that was Rainbow.

"I don't know if I can heal this"