Fallout Equestria: Heroes With Wings

by JustMoth

Rating: teen
Tags: Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Adventure, Crossover, Dark
Length: 19669

A crossover fic between "Fallout Equestria: Heroes" by No One, and "Fallout Equestria: Wings".

Hired Gun and Serenity from "Fallout Equestria: Heroes" take a train ride as part of a job and cross paths Citquine and Celly from "Fallout Equestria: Wings" in this fun and completely non-canon stand alone adventure.

This story takes takes place in an alternate time line branching off some point after Chapter 11 of Heroes, so reading to that point would be helpful for understanding who the characters are. This story also takes place some time after the end of Wings, but knowledge of that series isn't too required.

Published 2012-02-18 03:34:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-03-09 08:24:01 UTC

Chapter 1

Heroes With Wings

Part 1

“I think I can, I think I can...”

“This plan is stupid.”

I took another step forward as the massive line of ponies we were in inched along. I was trying to appear more concerned with keeping our place in the queue than with listening to Flare complain for the eighth time since I told him about the job this morning. Apparently the blue pegasus wasn’t getting the hint.

“You can’t say that!” Serenity said from her perch on my back. “You don’t even know what the plan is yet.” I had set her up there after she insisted on seeing the train we were going to be boarding. My main motivation though was just to get her off the ground before she was lost in the crowd or stepped on. She quickly lost interest in the train though, once she saw that it was just an old steam locomotive. What was she expecting it to be? Some advanced antigravity monorail with cybernetics and arcane magical type stuff…things?

“It’s one of her plans isn’t it?” Flare shot back as he hovered above the queue with his arms crossed. I’m still not paying attention to him; I’m trying to describe this train. And not all of my plans are stupid!
“Hey, not all of Hired’s plans are stupid!”

Ah, good girl, Serenity!

Flare arched an eyebrow. “Plans that don’t involve escaping after being captured?”

“Well… umm,” Serenity wavered. Come on, I’ve had some good non-escaping-from-capturer related plans. Like… umm… Oh! Killing Roy was a good plan. A little on the fly, but it got the job done. The escape afterwards though… OK, rather acknowledge Flare than think of that!

“I’ll tell you all about it once we get on the train,” I said with a confident smile, then added with a nod of my head to either side, “That is, unless you want to discuss the details of our nefarious schemes with everypony else in line.” I would have used my hoof to gesture, but we were packed in so tight that I didn’t have room to lift it. Only by the virtue of being so much taller than everypony around me was I allowed the freedom to even nod without head-butting somepony.

“Point taken.” Flare sighed, rolling his eyes. “But I can’t see how you could come up with a plan to pull this off…”

“Trust me,” I said pulling off my best mastermind smirk, which judging from his reaction was not very convincing. “It’s a real doozy of a plan, and I’ll tell you all about it once we are on board.” Given the rate that this line is moving, that should give me just enough time to come up with said doozy of a plan. Shouldn’t be too hard though, between Subtlety, Bunker Buster, and the various other implements of destruction we had with us, we could easily take on any problem that came up.

“You have to relinquish all weapons and firearms before boarding the train. They will be returned to you upon arrival at the destination.” The security guard said with all the excitement of somepony who has to say the same thing all day and hated his job.

Fuck.

“You expect me to just hand over Bunker Buster?” Flare protested.

“No sir, you may keep your firearms.” The guard replied with a hint of annoyance. How come he gets to keep his gun?! Do they have some kind of silly name quota or… “Since you are not allowed to board this train, you are not expected to hand over your weapons.” The guard finished dryly, and any half formed objection I had quickly dissolved into a snicker as Flare’s smug face fell.

“What?! What do you mean I can’t board this train? You have something against…” Flare’s sputtering rebuttal was cut short by the guard raising his hoof. I need to try that some time.

“Did you read the rules of boarding sir?” the guard asked with a dull sigh. After seeing the blank looks on our faces he shook his head and mumbled to himself. “Of course you didn’t, no one does, it’s not like they are posted every 3 meters around the station in every language from Equestrian to Classical Zebra...”

The guard then cleared his throat and began his speech, which must have been for the eighteenth time that morning judging from all the enthusiasm he mustered. “The Charity Express was founded as a way to provide a safe and reliable route through the Croup Mountains. This service is free for anyone who wishes to use it, provided that they lack the means to fly through the Croup sky way.” That last part was said with a glare towards Flare.

As he continued his spiel, I felt a dull burning where my metal leg joined my shoulder and looked around, though I couldn’t see anypony using magic nearby. Maybe they had unicorns hidden somewhere discreetly checking for concealed weapons… Hm? Oh, the guard was still talking… “This restriction is necessary due to the high volume of passengers we receive, in order to ensure passage to as many as possible that cannot past the mountain range any other way. All weapons and firearms must be relinquished to ensure the safety of all on board, yadda, yadda, yadda…”

This would have been a major setback in my plan, since it would have relied heavily on Flare in some way, but since I still had yet to come up with said plan, this was no problem. She who hesitates is saved, or some such thing! “This sky way safe?” I asked the guard, breaking off the argument on pegasus discrimination Flare was starting on.

“Quite safe, we have griffin guards stationed at regular intervals,” the guard replied, stopping Flare with another raise of his hoof. How does he do that? “It is also a much more direct route, taking only a day to cross the mountains instead of three on the train. I have found that the expediency tends to be preferred by those with wings. There is even a hostel near the station at the other end where he can wait for you and your daughter.”

“She’s not my daughter.”

Wait a minute, I didn’t say that.

Looking around I spotted a group in the next row over who appeared to be having the same conversation that we were. The objection came from a large orange stallion in a business suit that had a small unicorn filly with a blond coat and lavender mane sitting on his back. His group also had a pegasus hovering above them, yet this one was brown and looked much younger than Flare. Only thing that stopped this from being some odd parody of our group was the addition of a well armored male griffin standing with the stallion.

“And I’m not going anywhere without my bodyguard!” the stallion continued. The griffin, who I presume was said bodyguard, leaned over and whispered something to the stallion. With a sigh the stallion then nodded his head. The griffin then whispered something else and… was the stallion blushing?

“Hired, Stop checking out stallions, we have to decide what to do.” Flare called out as Serenity giggled from my back.

“This isn’t a problem,” I said quickly composing myself. “Works with my plan even. You take the sky way and take the extra time to scope out the town. Find out where we can spend the night, restock on ammo, emergency medical facilities… the usual. Me and Serenity will meet up with you in three days.”

Flare face-hoofed. “I really hope you know what you’re doing Hired…”

“Trust me!” I replied with a smile. I really didn’t want to get separated from Flare, but I had to get on that train one way or another for this job. “Besides, it’s not like I can get captured on a train.”

“The Charity Express does have a designated armored detainment car and a full on board security staff.” The guard mentioned flatly. Flare gestured at the guard with both arms while looking at me with a ‘you see?’ expression.

“Ah, not that I would be doing anything...” I hastily started, but the look on the guard showed that he clearly didn’t care one way or another. “Right. Just two for boarding them.”

With an exasperated sigh the guard said again. “You have to relinquish all weapons and firearms before…” Oh, right, that.

I started to disconnect Subtlety from my battle saddle while Serenity magically rummaged through my bags for other weapons. The guard took the weapons from Serenity placed them in a long metal box and put a lock on it. The perfectly proportioned Subtlety was too large to fit into the clearly poorly designed box, so he affixed a tag to it and handed me a slip of paper with the number of the box and the tag written on it.

“Remember to keep your receipt so that your weapons can be returned to you upon arrival at the destination,” the guard droned as he motioned us through the gates. “Have a nice trip.”

“Flare!” Serenity called out, sitting on my back with her forelegs held out, as we made our way to the train.

Flare swooped down and picked up Serenity in a hug. “Now you be careful and don’t let Hired do anything too stupid. Ok?” The little filly nodded and was set back down on my back. “I’ll see you in a few days.”

“Bye Flare!” Serenity yelled as the pegasus flew towards the signs marking the sky way.

Turning back around Flare shouted. “And watch out for the Rail Chaser!” Serenity giggled at the reference to the ghost story that Flare told us on the way to the station.

A pony in a blue and white striped cap signaled to us which passenger car we were to board as an announcement came over the loud speakers. “Train at capacity! No more passengers today! Please come back next week!” I stopped to look back over my shoulder to Serenity, intending to mention how we lucked out, but a commotion at the far end of the train caught my eye.

It looked like several guards were chasing a small gray earth pony that had her mane in bright red pig tails. No matter though. I wasn’t going to press my good luck, I get so little of it, by getting involved in whatever was going on.

“I have ta get on that twain!” The filly called out. Nope, not listening. I’m going to get on this train and not think about what’s going on. Just as soon as my legs get the message.

Survive.

“I need to see my mamma!” the filly wailed as she was caught by the guards a short distance from us.

Damn it! I turned around as walked back to the guards. “What’s the trouble?” I asked the one holding the filly.

“No trouble ma’am. The train is at capacity, and this filly tried to sneak past the gates.”

“It’s a big train. She’s a small filly. There should be room.” I explained in a tone that didn’t leave much room for argument.

“Just following the rules ma’am.” The guard replied nervously.

“It’s a big train.” I repeated, striking the side of the train with my metal hoof for emphasis, leaving a large dent. “She’s a small filly.” I said again, pointing to her with the same hoof.

“Should be room.” The guard finished weakly as he stared at the dent in the train, he then released the filly, who quickly ran inside the train.

Who says that I don’t have good communication skills?

The massive train was more like a moving city on rails than just a means of transportation. This observation wasn’t just from how the crowded train cars uncomfortably reminded me of Marefort, which was half built from train cars. There were the standard passenger cars, which I figure were just like any other train, only more crowded, but also several specialized cars. There was a car stuffed with several small stands to buy food at, a couple cars for eating said food, a car that was like a miniature marketplace, private cars for VIPs, the aforementioned detainment car, and even a car that was like a grimy little slice of Dise. I learned that all these vendors paid a share of their profits to the ponies that ran the train, which in turned helped keep the train running while being free for passengers.

I found all this out while making my way through the train with Serenity. For her it was exploring and sightseeing, but for me it was the serious business of gathering information for the job. If anypony tells you differently, particularly mentioning me drooling over .50 caliber armor piercing incendiary rounds, they are a filthy stinking liar. The one car that I was most interested in, the baggage car, was the only one I hadn’t found yet.

“Greetings, everyone,” announced speakers set up all throughout the train. “Welcome aboard the Charity Express! My name is Steam Drive and I’ll be your engineer for the remainder of the trip, along with my co-engineers Iron Coal and Skippity Doo. We are now a couple hours into our three day trip to the beautiful city of Hoofington.”

Wait. Where?

My confusion was apparently shared with many of the other ponies in the passenger car I was currently in. Mummers of uncertainly quickly escalated into shouts of protest and panic, somepony screamed “We’re all gonna die!” A pink mare with a blonde mane close to me stood on her hind legs and yelled “The horror! The Horror!” Wherever Hoofington was, I got the impression that it was not someplace I wanted to go.

“Only kidding!” The voice over the speakers returned with chuckle. “Our actual destination is The Valley of Fatal Death. Everyone use to freak out when they hear the name, so now I say we’re going to Hoofington first so that it doesn’t sound nearly as bad in comparison. It’s actually quite a lovely bit of Caladonia, just has a silly name.” I had to agree with him on that point. The panic in the car had more or less died down, and I gathered from the eye rolling of many of the ponies that didn’t panic that this was a joke the engineer played often.“ This is a non-stop trip, but we will be taking periodic breaks to refill our water tanks. You’re free to leave the train at these times, but I wouldn’t recommend it, unless you like spending a week stranded in the middle of a mountain range waiting for us to pass by again.”

I finally found out where the baggage car was, and of course it was at the very end of the train. Fortunately, the last few cars had nopony in them; I guess not many were willing to brave past the smell of the cattle car filled with brahmin. As I reached to open the door marked “baggage”, I froze when I heard voices coming from the other side.

“Ahh! That’s so much better! That private room was so cramped.” A female voice said from beyond the door.

Then there was a male voice that I heard a somewhere before. “I doubt they had somepony of your size in mind when they designed it. You can stretch as much as you want, but first change back before someone comes in here.”

As I was trying to wrap my head around where I had heard that voice before, a dull burning flared up in the shoulder of my metal leg. I don’t know how a burn can actually feel dull, but it’s my freaky magic-sensing-star-metal-poisoned-metal-leg powers so I can describe it how I see fit. You can describe it however you want when you get your own. Oh right, time to see what’s going on in there.

The room was filled with large stacks of every possible kind of luggage, and in the center was that large orange earth pony that I saw in the other line earlier. I scanned all over to find the mare that he was talking to but couldn’t see anypony else in the room. Then I spotted a tiny filly, younger then Serenity, down by his hoof. It was the same one that was on his back in the lineup, did that mare’s voice come from her?

“No way! You have a cutie mark!?” Serenity called out as she jumped off my back and ran to the little filly. It was surprising to see somepony that young already having a cutie mark, I could only think of one pony getting it that early back in Marefort. The mark looked like a wisp of cloud in front of a light blue wall, but I only got a brief glimpse before she fled behind the large stallion with an “Eep!”

“Serenity, don’t scare the filly.” I scolded, and then looked over at the stallion. “Sorry, didn’t know anypony was back here.”

“Oh. That’s alright. Celly and I were just back here to… ummm…” The stallion stammered awkwardly.

“Get my saddle bags!” The filly finished for him in a cute little voice, reappearing from behind him now with her saddle bags partially covering her cutie mark. So it wasn’t her voice that I heard on the other side of the door...

“Yes. Saddle bags.” The stallion said quickly with a smile. Getting a better look at him I noticed that he was half a head shorter than I was. Which was still pretty tall, even for a stallion. His dark orange mane was combed tightly back, and his brass coat had an almost metallic sheen like my own silver. He looked to be in rather good shape, and the suit he wore looked rather well tailored, not like the tacky flamboyant ones seen all over Dise. My eyes then drifted over to his cutie flank, I mean flank mark! No! I mean...

“I’ve never seen a cybernetic leg look like that before.” Serenity said skeptically. Yes, that’s it! I was looking at his cybernetic leg, not the large coin on his rump! Wait, cybernetic leg?

“That’s because it isn’t one.” He said proudly, flexing the odd collection of pistons, springs, and gears that replaced one of his back legs in a slow bucking motion. “It’s all mechanical, no electronics or magic-tech, much more reliable. Hoof made with 100% pure earth pony ingenuity. I call it the Buckshot 12”

“Tell them what happened to the previous 11.” The unicorn filly, I believe her name was Celly, said with a smirk. Now, while Serenity may not have recognized any of the non-cybernetic parts that made up the leg, hidden among the pistons and gears was a part of it that I clearly recognized. The name “Buckshot” suddenly made a lot more sense.

Wait a moment! I may be slow, but even I picked up that this was just a little too weird. Some big tough pony with a metallic coat, traveling with a small filly unicorn that’s not his daughter, AND having an artificial leg? Just who were these guys?

“Who are you guys?” The stallion said with an odd look, like he just came to the same surreal conclusion.

“I’m Serenity, she’s Hired Gun.” My little filly said, handling the introductions for me before turning back to Celly. “You’re sooo lucky getting your cutie mark so early! It feels like mine is taking forever to appear!”

“Yup, she’s a regular early bloomer all right.” The stallion said with a snicker. Then for some reason Celly shot him with a cold look so dark that it could cut steel… Shut up, there’s nothing wrong with my metaphors! The stallion then looked over to me. “My name’s Citquine, ambassador for the NCR. From your cutie mark I’m going to guess either a geologist or miner? ”

Geo-whatsit? And did I really look not old enough to drink to him? “No. Hired gun. What’s NCR?”

“New Canterlot Republic. Well, Republics, now that there are two of them. Largest controlling factions in west and central Equestria, I’ll spare you the history lesson.” Finally, somepony not interested in lecturing me on his factions past and politics. “They heard how the NCA in these parts share a similar kind of internal structure and values, so they sent me over to see if...”

“Hey Serenity, wanna see something cool?” Celly suddenly interrupted over Citquine. “Hey Firefly, wake up!” Out from a hat box popped one of those old sprite bots, but this one was painted pink with blue lightning bolts on its wings, and it floated over to the fillies.

“He’s mostly just a flying radio, but Quiny’s been gradually boosting his AI and power output so he can do simple tricks. Just don’t ask about the paint job, a friend of ours did it so make him more… pretty.” Celly then pointed at Serenity and called to the robot. “Firefly, ride!”

The round robot swooped down and rolled up to Serenity, scooping her up with a surprised squeak. It then began circling the room as the filly stared to squeal in delight. “I’m flying! This is so cool! Can we get one of these, mommy? Please? I won’t have to ride on your head any more to see what’s going on. “

I had to admit, seeing Serenity and Firefly together just seemed to oddly fit on some cosmic level, but I had to put my hoof down. As the sprite-bot flew past me I leaned forwards and plucked Serenity off of it with my mouth, then with a flick of my head tossed her onto my back. “No.”

“But why, momma?” Serenity pleaded, I could feel her pout and puppy eyes burning into the back of my neck.

“First. No sprite-bots in Caladonia. They’re an Equestrian thing.” I said without looking back at her.

“But, if we found one somewhere…”

“Second. They explode when messed with.”

“How do you…”

“Don’t ask. Third. I’m not your…”

“We should be getting back to our room.” Celly said to Citquine, in an oddly urgent tone. The orange stallion seemed to be also puzzled by this, but went along with her anyways. As he was walking out the door of the baggage car he paused and turned back to us. “It was nice meeting you two. Oh, and I don’t recommend going to the last train car.” Then he and the filly were gone, along with the dull burn in my shoulder.

I turned my head around to face Serenity. “Did they seem odd to you?”

“You mean other than the fact that Celly is an alicorn?”

“More how they seemed to be… What?!”

“Before she put her saddle bags on I noticed that she had wings along with a horn.” Aww, I was starting to feel all perceptive and stuff with my powers of observation, how did I miss a detail like that. “Since she was hiding them with her bags I guessed that she didn’t want anypony to know. Maybe she’s afraid that they would kick here off the train if anypony thought she could fly?”

My first encounter with the deadly alicorns that DJ Pon3 use to warn about, and the villain of Flare’s Rail Chaser story, and not only do I not notice it, but she’s just a little filly.

So much for their fearsome reputation, if they start off so cute.

“This car is off limits. Leave immediately.” The voice sounded from the metal mask as two sets of glowing blue eyes glared at us.

Citquine was right with his warning about the last car; bumping into two Steel Rangers was not something I would recommend on even the best of days. Unfortunately, our search of the other baggage cars didn’t reveal what we were looking for and this was the last car it could be in.

“Aww, but I wanted to go exploring!” Serenity said, her front hooves resting on the top of my head. I couldn’t see them, but I was betting she was giving those Rangers the biggest puppy dog eyes she could muster.

With a sigh one of the rangers shook his head. “What is this, Bring Your Filly to the Secured Car Day? There’s nothing for you in there, little missy, no dolls or butterflies, just a lot of guns and locked boxes. Now move along!”

Ah. At first I thought these two were there to guard the car, which seemed like overkill, but now I’m betting that they can’t leave there due to the no-gun rule on this train. While that doesn’t help my situation, in fact it makes it a lot more complicated. It is funny to think that they are being treated like baggage. I wonder if they have little tags on them somewhere and their Elder has to claim them when we get to Fatal Death Valley. Hehe, would be a shame if he lost the receipt.

“And just what are you laughing at?” The other guard said sharply to me.

“Umm. Chocolate milk.” I lied quickly in a very convincing manner.

“That’s Paladin Chocolate Milk to you! Who told you that he was on this train?” The Steel Ranger demanded, as what sounded like a safety being turned off came from somewhere in all that armor. Oh, awkward. Damn theirs silly food based names.

“Somepony in the market was talking about him before.” Serenity quickly covered for me. “They seemed really excited that he was on board, and that they were following him for ages.”

“Really… We may have to look into that later.” The ranger said, half to himself. “Thanks for the tip, now get lost!” He finished quickly, slamming the baggage car door in our faces.

“That was some pretty quick thinking there.” I said appreciatively.

“Thanks! I figure we can use that as a distraction later to get them away from that car. So what’s the plan?” Serenity said, leaning over the top of my head and looking into my purple eyes with her own gray ones.

Oh yeah, the plan thing. I’ll probably need one of those. I kinda got distracted with the whole being separated from Flare thing (not that I missed him or anything) and disarmed, then meeting the bizarro versions of us, and now learning that two Steel Rangers are blocking my objective. “I’ll tell you all about it after we get something to eat.” That should buy me enough time to think of one.

Serenity insisted we try a stand that was selling small bowls of fried potato slices covered in hot tomato sauce and this weird lumpy cheese. While it tasted fine, eating it was rather… messy. At least for me it was, since I had to stuff my muzzle into the little bowl to eat and it wound up coved in melted cheese and sauce. Serenity on the other hoof just levitated gobs of it into her mouth with her cheating unicorn magic, when she wasn’t laughing at my attempts that is. I’m beginning to suspect that she picked this place just to watch me struggle…

Suddenly the train’s brakes squealed, as we lurched to a sudden stop. After a few moments the voice of Steam Drive came through the speakers. “Everyone please remain calm, we are currently being boarded by a militant band of zebra terrori--” There was a sudden sound like a pony being hit. “Ow! Geez, can’t you guys take a joke? Ok, it’s really just a bunch of NCA soldiers looking for a large pony with a metal leg traveling with a small filly. The nice soldiers, and the rude one that hit me, will be making their way through the train, so if you match that description, or seen somepony that does, please inform them right away so we can all get moving again.”

Fuck.

Why were the NCA after me now? Wasn’t I on good terms with them for killing Roy? Was this about that bar brawl the other night? If it was, then that officer started it, and I was drunk, so I can’t be held responsible for what I said about his mother! Or maybe it was that whole ‘noodle incident’ not long back… yeah, that ended pretty badly for all involved.

I didn’t have any time to figure it out since at that moment two NCA soldiers came into the front of the restaurant car. They spotted me right away, sometimes being over a head taller than everypony else had its disadvantages, and called out for me to stay where I was.

Ok, plan time is now!

I picked up Serenity and tossed her on my back, then ran in the direction of the last car. I needed to get to the secured car, take out two steel rangers in unarmed combat (should be doable, I took out five once), find Subtlety in the secured car…

“Look out!” Serenity called as two more NCA solders appeared in the doorway in front of me. I lowered my head and plowed into them, knocking both out of the way. That’s enough planning for now; I needed to keep focused on my surroundings.

I ran from one car to the next, weaving between the other passengers, then as I got to the washroom car (this train really had a car for everything) I spotted two more NCA ponies at the far end. I lowered my head again and charged at them full speed.

That’s when the small gray filly with the red pig-tail mane, the same one that I helped get on the train, stepped out of a stall right in front of me. I didn’t have time to stop, so I leaped into the air over her. It was at this moment that I learned that trains were not designed high enough for a pony of my size to be jumping around in them.

My head hit hard against the metal ceiling, sending me tumbling forwards like a big awkward silver lump, and I felt the weight of Serenity fly off my back as I fell.

Quickly getting back to me hooves, I saw that the NCA unicorn at the door had caught Serenity in midair whit his magical grip. The earth pony beside him then took a rainbow pained grenade from a side pocket, pulled the pin out with his tongue, and tossed it at me.

Were these ponies insane?! A grenade in this confined a space would kill us all. I only had a moment before it went off, but that moment seemed to slow to an eternity. I couldn’t kick it forwards because Serenity was that way, and I couldn’t kick it backwards because that gray filly was back there. Not THAT gray filly, this new one. Ahh! Why do have to think of that filly now?!

Survive.

Fuck survive, no fillies are dying because of my stupidity today! I did the only thing in could and threw myself on the grenade.

*ZAP*

Electricity surged through my body, causing every muscle to spasms. I didn’t know what having a grenade going off under you would feel like, but this certainly was not what I expected. I struggled to get to my hooves, only to find that my metal leg had completely stopped working. So I merely slumped forwards onto my face with all the grace of a drunken brahmin.

“She’s still moving?! Hit her with another!” Some pony called out in front of me, then another one of those grenades pained with rainbow stripes rolled into my view.

*ZAP*

Sometime later I woke up with a dull burning in my shoulder, and without even opening my eyes I could guess whose company I was in.

Lifting my head slowly, I felt like every muscle had been beaten with tiny sticks, I saw Serenity tinkering with my metal leg. The looking around I saw that I was in a jail cell within what I assume was the detainment car. At least my track record for getting captured was intact…

“What hit me?” I groaned.

“Zap Apple” Serenity answered.

“That was no apple,” I said, flexing my now-working metal leg. What would I ever do without that little filly keeping this thing running?

“No, it’s the name of those electric stun grenades. They’re non-lethal grenades that short out electronics and knocks out ponies.” Then a look of shock and worry crossed Serenity’s face. “You mean that you threw yourself on it thinking that it was a frag grenade… to save me?”

“What can I say? I’m not a clever…” but my words were cut short as Serenity threw herself at me and buried her face in my chest .

“Stupid mommy!” she cried.

“Well, despite you not being a clever pony…” A small voice said behind me. Looking back I saw the two odd ponies that I had already guessed were here, Celly and Citquine. “And against my better judgment,” Celly continued. “Quiny is going to help you, so everything should work out.”

“Mmmhmm” Citquine mumbled from the pencil in his mouth, and then he returned to scribbling something into a book.

“Umm, thanks?” I said puzzled. “What are you writing?”

New Quest Perk: One Track Mind – The steady rhythm of the train helps to clear you mind and focus your thoughts. Or a new author is sometimes writing you slightly smarter than you should be. Intl +1 when on or near trains.

((A/N: This fic was just my way to show how much I love Fallout Equestria: Heroes by No_One, and by extension the incredible Fallout: Equestria by Kkat. Think of this as fan art in the form of a crossover fan fic based on a side fic of another crossover fic. So nothing is canon to anything! It takes place in an alternate time line branching off some point after Chapter 11. Big thanks to Julep for helping to edit this! You can see who the heck these Citquine and Celly characters are here.))

Chapter 2

Fallout Equestria: Heroes With Wings

Part 2

“I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early.”

“Good morning everyone!” Steam Drive’s voice came over the speakers in the detainment car. “Or at least it would be morning if there was a sun. As you may have noticed out the windows, it’s completely pitch black outside and we still have the internal lights on.” From the small slot windows, I could see that he was right. “Apparently, with the cloud cover gone, Nightmare Moon was able to regain her full power and has escaped her lunar prison. She’s up to her old tricks and has cast us all into an eternal starless night. Does anyone on board have any Elements of Harmony?”

There was a pause as the NCA soldiers on guard started to mutter nervously to each other. The train guards in the car just facehoofed.

Then the voice from the speakers returned. “Just kidding! During the night we entered a long tunnel that cuts through part of the Croup Mountains. I bet any feelings of claustrophobia seem kinda silly now when compared to the possibility of an evil goddess blotting out the sky! We should be leaving the tunnel sometime in the late afternoon.” I was really starting to get tired of that guy.

Great, more tunnels. At least if it was Nightmare Moon it would be somepony I could hit. I think. Who is Nightmare moon?

“I’m bored!” Serenity moaned, and then trotted over to Celly. “Let’s play tag. You’re it!” When she swiped a hoof to tag the other filly, Celly quickly backed away from it.

“I’m sorry.” Celly said awkwardly when she saw Serenity’s confused look. “I just don’t like being touched”. Oh… even for a not smart pony like me that often meant one thing.

“Oh…” Serenity said sadly. “I understand.” What? No! You shouldn’t understand something as terrible as this, you’re just a filly! “There was a filly that I used to know in the Watchers that also didn’t like to be touched.” Citquine and Celly looked like they were feeling the same thing as me.

“No, it’s not like that at all!” Celly said quickly waving her front hooves.

“Not like what?” Serenity asked confused.

“Um. Not like anything. It’s actually a funny story. I’ll tell you it later,” Celly said quickly with a smile, and then levitated one of the cups we got with breakfast. “How about instead of tag, we play magic catch?”

They started to toss the cup back and forth with their magic. To me it looked more like training than a game. Serenity only missed it a couple of times, and I don’t think Celly missed once. After a while I stopped watching and looked around the rest of the train car. Even without looking I still felt the familiar tingle in my shoulder whenever Serenity used her magic, and over that was the constant burn of Celly’s magic.

Wait a moment.

I looked back and saw that even when tossing and catching the cup Celly’s horn never glowed. A unicorn’s horn always glows when they use magic. Doesn’t it? There was a yellow glow around the cup when she caught it, so she was using magic. Is it different with alicorns?

I looked over to where Citquine was sitting. He just gave me a serious look that said I shouldn’t say anything. At least, that’s what I guess that look meant. I’m not always the best at reading ponies, and he has a serious look on his face all the time.

“Ambassador Citquine,” An NCA pony said as he entered the car, from his fancy floppy hat I guessed that he was higher in rank than the other soldiers, “your identification has been confirmed. We deeply apologize for this terrible misunderstanding. You and your daughter are free to go.”

Citquine stood up and straightened his suit, then looked at the soldier in the hat with a serious expression. A different serious expression than the ‘keep quiet’ one he gave me before that is.

“Two corrections,” He said seriously. I think you get the picture, he’s a serious pony. I should know, since I’m a serious pony too. Seriously! So just take it that he always looks serious unless I say he isn’t. “First. Celly is not my Daughter. I have found that assumptions like that can lead to more serious misunderstandings down the line and are best cleared up early.” Oh, that’s a good answer. I need to use that later. I have found that Assumpthings like… fuck, what did he say again?

“My apologies sir. I meant no…” Hat pony started.

“Secondly,” Citquine interrupted, “you neglected to mention that my bodyguard, Ms. Gun, and her technician, Ms. Serenity, are also free to go.” Wait. His what now? Was he helping us get out of here? Why would he help us? I know that Celly mentioned last night that he would, but why? Celly shot me a look to keep quiet, it wasn’t as good as Citquine’s, and Serenity just giggled at being called as Ms. Serenity.

“Sir? We didn’t know that this…” Hat pony shot a disgusted look at me. I just smiled back. “Pony, was traveling with you. Yet, we can’t release her. She and her accomplice assaulted two of my men, and she must...”

“I was detained by an unknown and possibly hostile military force.” Citquine interrupted again. His voice was calm but sounded even more serious. “I would have fired her on the spot if she didn’t turn this train inside out, and anyone who got in her way, while trying to get to me. My report to your commanding officer is already extensive as it is. I would regret having to add to it that you further endangered my life by detaining my bodyguard for doing her job.” Oh. He’s good.

“My mistake sir.” Hat pony turned to one of the train guards. “Release them all at once!”

Ok. It wasn’t my most exciting escape from being captured. As they say, any escape you can walk away from is… Well, an escape. At least I wasn’t shot at.

“Ms. Gun,” Citquine said once we were all out of the cell. It took a moment for me to realize he meant me. “Please escort the fillies to our private room. I’ll be joining you once I finish resolving any lingering issues with the officer here.”

“Umm. Yes, sir,” I said trying to sound convincing. Where was his room any ways?

Fortunately, Celly lead the way out of the car. “Let’s get out of here. He can get scary when he gets litigious,” she said with a laugh.

“As the Rail Chaser makes its way to the front of the train, more and more ponies disappear. Until the whole train disappears!” Serenity finished telling Celly the ghost story that Flare told us this morning. She didn’t tell the story as well as he did, and she kept forgetting parts and having to start over. The story did feel a little more scary this time though. Going by how scared Celly looked that is. I wasn’t scared at all. Maybe it was because of the steady shaking of the train or the lights flickering now and then. It wasn’t because we were in a tunnel. No, that was totally not anything to do with me -- I mean Celly -- being scared.

“But the scariest part of all is this…” Serenity continued with a smile. Hmm? Is she making more of the story up? “When you tell this story on a train, that train is the next to be attacked by the Rail Chaser!”

“You just told it on a train.” I pointed out. Does this mean that this train will be hit? If the Rail chaser starts at that back, it will get rid of those Steel Rangers first. That will make this job… What am I thinking? Serenity just made that up. There is no…

Suddenly the train car shook violently and the lights went out. The room was suddenly filled with three screams. I mean two screams. I wasn’t screaming. Why would I be scared about being in the dark in a tunnel with the Rail Chaser? There is no Rail Chaser!

The lights came back on and the screaming face of the Rail Chaser stood over me.

More importantly, Serenity was still screaming.

I struck out and hit the Rail Chaser across the face with my metal hoof. It went down like a sack of apples and lay unconscious across the floor of the room.

Well, that wasn’t so tough.

Serenity had stopped screaming and hid behind me as I took a better look at the passed out Rail Chaser. It wasn’t blood red like in the story. More of a dark purple. It was a huge alicorn though, easily half a head taller than me. She could give Torr a run for his money. She? The Alicorn had a very female figure. Like some of the ‘dancers’ back at The Moon, but scaled up much, much, bigger. Not that I was staring at her long legs or anything. I was certainly not looking at her slim flank with a cutie mark of a wisp of cloud in front of a light blue wall…

Wait. I saw that cutie mark before.

“Apparently we ran over some metal debris that was in the middle of the....” Citquine said as he slid open the door the room. He then saw the alicorn on the floor and face-hoofed.

“Ughh…” The alicorn said, waking up with blood dripping from her mouth. “Please tell me that I was knocked out again by a Steel Ranger with an automatic grenade launcher, and not just by some short mare.” Short? Me? Well that’s a first.

“No such luck, Celly,” Citquine said with a smirk. I think that’s the first time I’ve seen something close to a smile from…

“That’s Celly?!”

“So, that clears everything up?” Citquine said, finishing his explanation.

Apparently Celly was the imaginary friend of some mare long ago, and a magical accident made her real. She was a filly that couldn’t be killed, but then she died, and then came back as adult alicorn mare. Lots of big complicated magic stuff was involved. It didn’t make much sense.

“Yeah. Makes sense,” I said.

I was alone in the car with Citquine. Well, Firefly was there too, but I don’t think sprite-bots count as a somepony. It was hovering around the room playing music like a flying round radio thing. Serenity and Celly had gone off to the market car to find a bottle of radioactive water. It seems that radiation heals Alicorns, like ghouls, or something. After Celly changed back into a filly, I mean. How does she do that?

“How does she do that?”

“You mean look like a filly?” Citquine asked. I grunted. Well-spoken as always. “Her special talent is imagination, rather fitting given her origins. Particularly, she can use her magic to make illusions of what she imagines, hence the smoke and mirror cutie mark. She’s still learning how to control it though, so the only illusion she can keep up for any length of time is herself as a filly. She spent 150 years looking like that, so it’s like second nature to her.”

Ok, it’s magic. I can understand that much. That explains why my shoulder always burned around her. she was constantly casting that illusion spell.

“That illusion comes in handy when we travel to places where alicorns are uncommon,” Citquine continued. “No point scaring the locals. The drawback is that her illusions don’t actually change her size. She’s still there, larger than life, just invisible. The filly that you see isn’t physically there, and if she’s not careful things can pass through her. That’s why she uses the ‘doesn’t like to be touched’ excuse.”

So she’s there, but isn’t, and takes up space but things can pass through her. Ugh, alicorn magic is more confusing than normal unicorn magic! I’ll just think of her as a filly until she isn’t looking like one.

A familiar dull burn and tingling gradually grew stronger in my shoulder.

“Looks like the girls are back.” I said to Citquine. He looked at me puzzled for a moment before they slid the door open. I smiled back at his ‘how did you do that?’ look. Ha! You’re not the only one with weird hard to explain magic stuff going on.

“I don’t know what you said to those NCA ponies, Quiny, but the train staff is falling over themselves, treating us like royalty.” Celly said with a grin.

“Yeah, we even got to see the engine room!” Serenity added excitedly. “Did you know that the steam engine is powered by three unicorns that all have the special talent to boil water? It used to be just two, but then Steam Drive found Skippity Doo working in a tea shop.”

“Ah, I was wondering what they used in place of coal.” Citquine said. You were? I just figured the train ran on, you know, magic. I guess I was right in a way. “So, you get fixed up Celly?”

“Yup. You wouldn’t believe how radioactive the water was one stallion was selling,” Celly said as the filly faded away and the large mare appeared, her voice changing also. That’s going to take some getting used to. “He was selling it to a couple of fillies no less! Well, anyway, we found something for Silver too.”

Wat?

I then noticed that Serenity was holding up with her magic what looked like two oversize markers. They each had wide caps that I guessed showed what color they drew in. One was a ridiculously bright pink, and the other was a just as bright yellowy green. They both had ‘Industrial Highlighter’ written on the side.

“Ah.” Citquine said approvingly. “Silver will love them!”

What? Why would I? How do they know that name? Nopony should know that? Is this more weird alicorn magic? I tried to voice these questions, but I think it came out as “Habawah?!”

“Silver Bell is a friend of ours back in Equestria.” Citquine explained, looking confused at my reaction. “Her mother is getting married soon, and she’s been looking for the perfect radiation green and pink cloud pink for a picture she’s making. She’s quite the artist for her age actually.”

“Oh. Of course…” I said trying to smoothly recover. “Thought you meant another Silver that I knew.”

Citquine facehoofed. “It wasn’t some old stallion with an over engineered battle saddle claiming to be an NCR ranger was it?”

“What? No.” Just how common was my name? I guess Hired Gun wasn’t that bad after all. At least it was unique.

“Good. I wouldn’t put it past him to have run all the way out here.” Citquine sighed and stood up. “There are a few more issues that I need to talk to Hired about. We’ll be back later.”

“Where?” I asked.

“The bar car. I need a drink.”

There’s a car that’s a bar? How did I miss that? I hope they have whisky!

Yes! Whisky! I was partway through my first bottle and starting to feel all warm and happy. Well, mostly warm. Getting to the happy would be easier if Citquim… Clitrine… Citquer… if Cit (his name and Whisky don’t mix) wasn’t still so serious.

Cit just sipped his sarsaparilla and was talking about… something serious most likely. Seems when he says ‘I need a drink’, he means he’s thirsty. Where’s the fun in that? Wasn’t sarsaparilla supposed to give you more sass? It must be defective. I would know. I was closely watching his sass.

“Speaking of that. What’s with your cutesy mark, Cit?” I asked, taking another pull from my bottle. Was his special talent flipping a coin? Heads he wins, tails I get to…

“Don’t call me that, and we weren’t discussing anything related to cutie marks,” He said with a sigh. We weren’t? I guess that was only my train of thought. Hehe, train. This was good whisky. “But if you must know, it’s a gold ring.”

“Your talent proposing?” I guessed.

“No. My talent…”

“No special somepony, Cit?” He’s available. I’m not the marrying type though. I make too many bad decisions. I also travel a lot. It just wouldn’t…

“What? No! I said not to call me that, and that’s not what I am talking about. I mean, I do. Well technically not a somepony….” He fished awkwardly and quickly took a drink of his sarsaparilla. Wait, he’s blushing? He was seriously blushing! in a serious way. Cit’s got a special someone! Cit’s…

Fuck.

Actually, no fuck. There goes getting some of that sass. Need more whisky…

So, not a somepony? What does that mean? Do alicorns don’t count as ponies? “Is it Celly?”

His eyes went wide and he suddenly spat out his drink. All over my face… He then started to sputter and cough. The noise briefly woke up the only other pony that was sharing the bar car with us. “Celly?! No! Goodness no. She’s like an older sister to me!”

I gave the sarsaparilla running down my muzzle a lick. Bleh, I’ll stick to my whisky. I took another pull to wash the taste out. He didn’t even notice my sass anyways. Not that I cared or anything. It’s just that… Shut up.

Cit’s serious look returned and he straightened his suit. “The ring represents how I help others. That’s my special talent, and that relates to what we were talking about before this tangent. Since I’m going to be helping you, I need to know what your real reason for being on this train is Ms. Hired Gun.”

“I have a job to do.” That’s all he needs to know. “And I don’t need your help.” I need your…

“I’m paying you to be my bodyguard,” He said interrupting that thought. “so I need to know if I can trust you. So that means telling me everything.”

Damn. He had me there. “Simple job. Returning a stolen item. Some Steel Rangers are making it not simple.” That should be enough for him to trust me… Wait, I’m not his bodyguard! That was a lie he told Hat pony. I glared at him for tricking me. Him and his sass. Well, mostly his sass.

“Ah,” He said with a small smile, “I thought it was along those lines since you were checking out the baggage cars. Celly thought you might be here to kill me for some reason, so I had to make sure.” He took another sip of his drink. “Taking back something stolen is morally grey enough that I don’t have a problem lending a hoof, and I certainly have no love for Steel Rangers…” That last part was said with a rather dark tone. “As for not needing my help, that’s irrelevant. My talent is helping you whether either of us wants it to or not. I find that it’s best to just go with it. Last time I refused to help someone I wound up nearly killed by manticores. Magic is sometimes dumb like that.”

“Dumb magic.” I had trouble following most of what he just said, but that part was clear. The brain wasn’t helping my whisky think any better than normal. I went to drink more but the empty was bottle.

“So what’s your plan for getting this stolen item out from under the noses of the Steel Rangers, and then off the train?”

Oh yeah. Plan thing. Need one of those. Also need more whisky. “I’ll tell you over another bottle,” I said as I stood up. The train was waving back and forth all blurry like, so it was not easy walking to the bar. They should fix that.

“I don’t think that would be a good idea,” He said getting up also. “I think you’ve had …”

I cut him off by raising a hoof. Hey, it does work! “Cit! Stay! Be good!” I ordered him in what seemed like a good play on words.

I think I’m getting better at handling my whisky. Normally by now everything would blur into a black…

Ow.

I hurt everywhere. More than just normal hung-over hurt too. I felt like I went another round with Torr.

I could feel that I was lying on my back and that my barding was gone. Against my better judgment, I opened my eyes.

Gah! There was a painfully bright white light directly above me. I squeezed my eyes shut again.

I turned my head away from the light. I then felt somepony’s breath gently caress my muzzle. Please don’t be a mare. I’m not into mares. I just keep ending up in bed with them!

Carefully I opened my eyes and met the dark purple eyes of adult Celly. “Mmm… You were great,” She purred.

Damn it!

I quickly tried to roll myself in the opposite direction, only to end up falling to the floor. Who builds a bed that high off the ground? Looking around I noticed that everything in the room was all clean and white. Also, the bed that I was on was actually an examination table. I was in the medical car!

And ponies were laughing at me.

Celly was standing beside the table, laughing her fool alicorn face off. She was evil! On her back Serenity was laughing too. Traitor!

Only one in the room not laughing at me was Citquine. He just facehoofed all seriously. “Yeah… Great at getting shot that is.” He sighed. Shot? What happened?

“What happened?” I asked.

He looked down at me on the floor. “Your ‘plan’,” He lifted his forelegs to make hoof-quotes. “Consisted of staggering drunkenly to the baggage cars, screaming ‘Hiiiired GUN!’, and then charging the Steel Ranger guarding the secured car. You're like a trained manticore. Without the training!”

I’m not sure if that was a compliment or not. “Did it work?”

Citquine rolled his eyes. “Surprisingly enough, yes. You managed to take out the steel ranger bare hoofed while drunk. Which was impressive, I’ll admit.”

I smiled proudly.

“Then the second Steel Ranger showed up and started to open fire.” My smile fell. “That’s when it got really ugly. In the end it took the NCA, train security, and half a dozen Zap Apples to break you two up. I had to use all my diplomatic clout just to convince them to drag your bleeding body to medical instead of chucking it overboard.”

I put my not metal leg over my aching eyes. Whisky, you have betrayed me again! My over-sensitive ears heard four tiny hooves jump down and walk over to me. I then felt Serenity’s little head nuzzle against my big dumb head.

“Mommy?” I lifted my leg and looked into Serenity’s grey eyes. They looked red and puffy. Had she been crying? “We need to talk,” she said in a small voice.

Not this again. Not now. “We talked about this already.” Didn’t we? My sense of continuity was all fuzzy. Stupid hang over. “I’m not…”

“No.” She interrupted. “Not about that. Something else.”

Whatever that something else was would have to wait. A lanky tan earth pony in a white doctor’s coat walked into the room. His curly mane stuck straight up like some kind of bright orange muffin. Looking over quickly, I saw that Celly was already back to her filly look. Still giggling though. Evil.

“Ah! I see that you’re up. Or down as it were,” he said with a silly chuckle. “Surprising for somepony that went five rounds with a Steel Ranger. You must be tough.”

“I get that a lot,” I said getting to my hooves. Serenity hopped onto my back as I got up.

“And stupid!” he added with a laugh.

“Get that too,” I grumbled.

“So, how are you feeling?” Currently? Hung over, beat up, insulted, embarrassed, and stupid.

“Sore,” I said.

“Ah. I have just the thing for that.” He picked up a syringe of med-x from the table, with his mouth, and jammed it into my flank.

“Ow! You really a doctor?”

“Yup!” He said yanking the needle back out. Ow. “Been practicing medicine on the rails for going on fifteen years now. I guess you could say I’m well trained! I have a great track record, too. I used to work on a monorail, but I ran out of one liners.” These puns were not helping my hangover.

Ah, but that med-x was. Sweet med-x, you would never betray and hurt me like whisky does. Would you?

“We’ll give you some time to talk,” Citquine said as Serenity and I entered the private room. “Then we’ll come up with a real plan. While you were out, Steam Drive announced that once we cross a small bridge it would be just a few hours more to our destination. After joking about crashing to our doom that is. So you don’t have much time.”

“Right,” I said. “My talks don’t take long.”

He slid the door shut and I waited for the dull burn of Celly’s magic to fade away.

Huh.

“Hired…” Serenity started.

“One moment,” I said and walked over to the door. Lowering my head, I bit the lock and slid it closed.

There it is.

“Why are you locking the door?”

I carefully turned around to Serenity. “What do you think of those two?”

“What?” She asked, puzzled. “That’s not what I wanted to talk about.”

“I know. But, this first. Then what you want to say.” I walked to the side of room opposite of her and sat down.

The light pink filly thought for a moment. “Well, Quiny is ok, I guess. He’s all serious though. Even more than you!“ Thanks. “Aside from that fake smile when we first met, I don’t think I’ve seen him happy.” He smiled? Did I miss that? “Also that leg of his is bor-ing!”

“And what about Little Miss Big Huge?”

My little filly giggled at the name. My filly? No, I mean… I’m getting to that. Later. Maybe. “Celly is fun, and she has lots of stories. Did you know that she has a little foal in her head that she’s looking after? She’s a bit like you that way.” A foal in her head? Are all alicorns this weird!?

“You trust them?”

Serenity nodded. “I know they are a little weird, but they are good ponies. Like you.”

I’m not a good pony. “I don’t trust them.”

Serenity rolled her big eyes. “You don’t trust anypony.”

“They’ve been lying and tricking us,” I said flatly.

“What? No they haven’t!” Serenity protested.

“Celly used her magic to look like a filly.”

“But… That’s different; she wasn’t trying to deceive only us. A lot of ponies don’t like alicorns, so she has to hide it.” She then pointed a hoof at me. “You knocked her out when you saw what she really looks like.”

It wasn’t like that! I Don’t have anything against alicorns. Serenity was screaming too. “I thought she was the Rail Chaser! I was trying to protect…” I began to blurt out, and then I realized how foalish that sounded. From the grin that she was now wearing, that was just the reaction Serenity expected. Outsmarted by a filly… Which of us was the parent again?

Ah, no! Neither of us. Not my filly! Shut up.

I shook my head. Time for a different approach. “Citquine’s leg is a custom combat shot gun. He could kill us any time.”

“But...” Serenity’s resolve faltered. “He wouldn’t. Why would he?”

“Celly doesn’t trust us,” I continued. “She thinks we’re here to kill Citquine. She could have him kill us before we kill him.”

“But we’re not! “ Serenity yelled. The thought that the ponies she liked might try to kill us clearly troubled her. “We’re just here for that yellow box! You have to tell her we’re not bad ponies.” You’re half right Serenity. You’re a very good pony.

“Why would she believe me? If they were a target I would lie to them.”

“I’ll tell her then,” Serenity said in a worried voice. “Since I’m just a filly maybe…”

“Celly would think that I was using your cuteness to trick them. It’s what she does.” I hated making Serenity worry like this. I was trying to make two points to two ponies at the same time. I’m not a clever pony and this was the only way I could think of.

“There has to be some way to convince her.” The little filly was on the verge of tears. “I know that they are good ponies. We have to clear up this misunderstanding before they make a terrible mistake and you hurt them.” After all I said she still trusts them. She’s also more worried about their safety than ours, if they did try to attack us. I agree that it would be a rather one sided fight, even with his Buckshot 12. I should feel proud of her confidence in my skills, but for some reason it worried me.

Ok. Enough of this show.

I stood up and walked towards the door. I then lifted my forelegs up and rested my knees on thin air. “That good enough for you?” I asked the blank space in front of me.

Serenity gasped as adult Celly appeared in the room, with my knees resting across her flank. I knew that on the other side of the door an illusion filly disappeared.

“You were spying on us?” Serenity said wiping her eyes.

Celly kneeled down to look the filly in the eyes. This also caused me to lose my shapely perch and my hooves awkwardly fell to the floor. Did I say Shapely? I meant, umm… Aw to hell with it. She did have a fine ass.

“I’m sorry, Serenity. It was rude of me to eavesdrop on you like that. I just really needed to know that you two were telling the truth about why you’re here.” The alicorn sighed sadly. “Citquine is the only family I have left, and I worry a lot about losing him. Can you forgive me?” Then she added in a loud whisper to Serenity. “And between you and me, your mom is kinda scary!”

“I’m not…” I started.

“You are kinda scary at times.” Serenity giggled. That wasn’t what I meant… “I forgive you Celly.”

The big alicorn hugged the little filly. “This is a dangerous world,” Celly continued. “You have to be very careful of who you trust, even if they do seem like good ponies.” Hey! That was the lesson that I was trying to teach her! Go train your own filly on the dangers of the world!

“Well, duh.” Serenity rolled her big grey eyes. “It’s not like I’m some baby foal who doesn’t know that.”

I think my jaw dropped farther than Celly’s, but not by much.

“But...” Celly started confused. “You said you trusted us because we were good ponies…”

“Well that wasn’t the only reason…” Serenity looked away with a guilty expression. “I also, kind of, sort of, read Quniy’s diary.”

Ok. Celly’s jaw dropped farther that time. Then she whistled, impressed. “When did you manage that?”

“While everypony was in the medical car. I snuck back here and read it. I had to make sure that he hadn’t planned for momma to get hurt.” Serenity then looked at Celly pleadingly. “Please don’t tell him I read it!”

“I don’t care what anypony says, you two are definitely related! You’re both the same level of reckless crazy!” Celly snorted with laughter. “Your secret is safe with me. I only managed to read his journal once, and that was only because at the time he was paralyzed and I was immortal. I could only imagine what he has written in there since then, and how much he would flip out if somepony read it.”

Serenity then blushed a brighter pink. “He did write a lot about his griffin friend and…” Griffin friend?

Celly put her hooves to her ears “No, I can’t hear that. It would be too dangerous for both of us. Lalala!”

Standing up, she then faced me. “So, we all trust each other now?” I nodded. I didn’t fully trust her, of course. I trusted her enough for this job, though. “Good. I’ll leave you two alone to talk now.” Changing back into her filly appearance she walked out of the room. Then turning around she asked. “How did you know that I was still in the room before?”

“Magic.” I said with a grin and slid the door closed. This time I did feel the dull burn in my shoulder fade as she walked away.

Ok, that could have gone better. At least the issue with Celly was dealt with. But then, since when did I care if somepony trusted me? Was I getting soft? Or this just my normal level of stupid? It was also pretty stupid of me to think I could teach Serenity something. Just another reason in the list of why I shouldn’t be her mother…

And on that note… “Ok, what did you want to talk about?”

Serenity sat down on her haunches and lowered her head. “Promise you won’t get mad first,” She said in a weak voice. What? This isn’t the normal ‘be my mommy’ conversation is it…

I knelt down on the floor to be as close as I could to her. “I won’t get mad, I promise.” Then I added with a small laugh. “Unless you broke Subtlety, then all bets are off.”

The joke didn’t help. She looked up at me and her little face was full of concern and worry. “No, I just… I don’t think that…” She was struggling with her thoughts. Whatever this was about, it was really troubling her. I reached out with my hoof and brushed her mane. She took a deep breath. “It’s like what Celly said about Quiny. You’re the only family I have, and I worry a lot about losing you.”

Was that what this was about?

I sighed. “I know what I do is dangerous, but…” before I could say any more she shook her little head.

“No, that’s not it.” It’s not? “You’re good at what you do, and I like helping you when I can. You’re big, and strong, and tough. I know that you’ll do whatever you can to survive. It’s just that…” Her voice trailed off.

“What is it?”

“You need to stop drinking so much.”

What? Was that all? Me getting drunk? I let out a laugh in relief. I thought it was something really serous!

Then I saw the tears in Serenity’s big grey eyes. This was something serious to her.

“It’s not funny!” she sobbed. “You nearly died last night! Before that it was the huge fight in that bar. Before that was your debt with the Mustangs. It keeps getting worse. When you drink you get more reckless and stupid. It’s like you stop thinking about surviving and become a different pony!”

I do become a different pony. I become Silver Storm, the naïve mare that gets the ponies she cares about killed because of her stupid impulses. Impulses like wanting to have fun, or wanting to be a hero, or wanting to be loved, or wanting back…

I sighed and wiped the tears from Serenity’s eyes with the tip of my hoof. “I’ll try to cut down.” I can’t be that other pony any more. I had to be Hired Gun. I had to survive.

I felt something inside me reject that thought. Must be the part that really likes whisky…

“Ok, the plan is simple, but we need to act quickly to pull it off,” Citquine said once we were all together in his private room. “Celly managed to snag a Zap Apple from train security during your drunken row last night.” I facehoofed. ”She’s going to levitate it up to the Steel Rangers inside her filly illusion and set it off.” He then gestured to me. “Once they are out, you and I will board the secured car, open the side door, and then throw the box overboard.” Serenity winced at that part. The stallion turned to her. “Don’t worry. From the description that Hired got, it sounds like a hazmat transport container. Those things are designed super tough and have magical enchantments. So whatever is inside will survive the fall without any problem. Then once we get to the station your pegasus friend can fly back and retrieve it for you.” Citquine then sat back confidently. “It’s a variation on the plan Celly and I used at the Applelation facility. So it should work as long as we pull it off before the bridge.”

“Didn’t that plan end with me nearly getting blown up?” Celly added.

“The plan still worked though.” Citquine said awkwardly. “Also, it’s not like that can happen again. We’ve all seen the Steel Ranges guarding the door and neither of them have that kind of firepower on them.”

“I’ll bring another bottle of radioactive water just in case.” Serenity grinned at the alicorn.

I pointed my metal hoof at the filly. “No. You’re staying here.”

“But…”

“Hired is right.” Citquine said. “This will basically be a stealth mission, and the three of us are already a lot as it is.” That’s putting it lightly. 3 of the largest ninjas ever… “It would be just Celly and Hired ideally, but I should come along in case the side door is locked.”

“You’re going to blast it open with BuckShot 12?” Serenity rolled her eyes. “Yeah, that’s really subtle.”

Citquine looked like his surprise epic hero moment was just spoiled. He shot a dark look at Celly.

“Hey, I didn’t tell them.” The alicorn pointed a hoof at me. “Shorty over there already figured out your leg was a gun.” Shorty?

Citquine then looked at me doubtfully then turned back to Serenity. “Well, however you found out…” Hey, did he doubt I was even smart enough to recognize a gun?! “That was the plan. I know it’s less than ideal. Back at the Applelations we had a silent step spell to muffle our hooves, but no such…”

Serenity’s eyes beamed and she opened her moth.

“No.” I cut her off before she could say anything.

“But I could…” She started again.

“No,” I said, putting my hoof down.

“What’s going on?” Celly asked as she watched our back and forth.

“Nothing. Serenity is staying here,” I tried to say. But no sound came out. I glared silently at the filly as my shoulder tingled in time with her horn glowing.

“I know a silence spell.” She grinned.

Citquine looked impressed. “I’m sorry, Hired, but Serenity is coming with us.”

“Yush!” The pink filly exclaimed, pumping her hoof in the air. Where did she pick that up?

I opened my mouth to object. I then glared at Serenity until she turned off her spell. “It’s too dangerous.”

“Actually it will be far less dangerous with her with us,” Citquine replied. “With her silence spell we won’t have to worry about train security or the NCA hearing us.” Using reason and smarts is an unfair way to win an argument…

“Now I wish I had brought along my Pip-Buck. I would be able to communicate with yours even when Serenity’s silence spell was up,” He added. You can talk through Pip-Bucks?

“How would you manage that? Pip-Bucks don’t have the capability for real time communication.” Serenity asked. Oh, so you can’t talk with them?

“Normally they don’t, but the friends of mine that gave me it modified the operating system. They added an application that could receive signals from a headband and retransmit them as thought or text.” A Pip-Buck that could read your mind? I wonder if mine already had that option. That would explain why it never does anything.

“Wait.” Serenity shook her head. “You have a telepathically operated Pip-Buck, and you don’t even wear it?!”

“Well, I would mostly just use it for the radio or the mapping system.” He said matter-of-factly. “Since I already have Firefly and my auto-map, there’s not much need for it. So I modified the latch so it could be taken off easily.”

Serenity face-hoofed. “You’re just as bad as Hired...”

“Well, that’s not a good sign,” Filly Celly said, looking at the pile of train security ponies in the baggage car.

Citquine lightly put a hoof to one of their necks. “They’re alive. Most likely taken out by their own Zap Apples. It appears that after last night’s escapades, they upped the security here.” He carefully stepped around them. “I should have anticipated this. Fortunately though, someone has already saved us the trouble…”

“Stay close,” I said to Serenity. I then realized how pointless that was since she was in her usual spot on my back.
She gave a small laugh and then hugged my neck. “This better momma?”

Any objection I had was lost in the silence spell as Citquine carefully opened the door to the last baggage car.

“This is your last warning, little filly. Take you’re big friend there and leave.” One of the Steel Rangers announced.

All four of us froze with the door half open. How did they know we were there?

“I don’t think so,” A mare’s voice said from past the door. “Ferris and I have a job to do. So you boys better just stay out of our way if you don’t want to get hurt.” They weren’t talking to us?

The four of us silently snuck inside the car and hid behind the piles of luggage. The mare the Steel Rangers were talking to was the size of Citquine. She was coved head to hoof in a tattered, old cloak.

“Damn it. This is the third big pony with a filly that’s come back here this trip. I’m starting to bug out, man.” One of the Rangers said to the other.

“You had your chance, boys,” The mare said. But it didn’t come from the big pony. Looking over I then noticed that beside the big pony was… That grey filly that I helped on the train?! She pulled a cigar out of the shoulder pocket of the strange barding she was wearing. With it clenched in her teeth she pointed her little hoof at the Rangers. “Teach them some manners, Ferris.” The big pony, Ferris I guess, lifted a metal foreleg at the ranger. There was a sudden high pitch hum. A bright blue ball of energy shot out of the hoof and smashed into one of the Rangers. Now why can’t my metal leg do that? Oh yeah, because I would just shoot myself in the hoof… with my hoof…

The struck Ranger staggered. The other activated one of the weapons built into his armor. “Filly or not, you two are toast!” A roaring jet of flame shot from the metal suit.

In a sudden motion Ferris moved in front of the filly, blocking her from the flames. The cloak began to catch fire. In seconds it burned away, and the pony under it… Wasn’t a pony?! It was some big pony shaped robot thing. It’s body was heavily armored, but it’s legs looked disturbingly like my own skeletal metal one.

“You foals don’t know who you’re dealing with.” The filly said in her not filly voice. She pressed her cigar against the hot metal of the robot until it lit. The back of the robot then opened up and the filly jumped inside it.

The robot (or was it now power armor?) reared up on its hind legs as the sockets of its metal skull glowed red. The filly’s voice came from it metallic and amplified. “I AM IRON MARE!”

Sneaking done. Fighting now.

New Quest Perk: Your parenting is bad and you should feel bad. – You made Serenity cry… twice! -10 health. You can get it back after you hug her and say you’re sorry.

New Quest Perk: Yakety S.A.T.S. – After talking about Pip-Bucks with Citquine you have gained a slightly better understanding of them. +5% accuracy in S.A.T.S. Not that you’ll ever use it…

((A/N: Again, This fic is a big shout out to No_One for making Heroes, and to Kkat for making this wonderful wasteland that we all play in. Also, big thanks to Julep for editing. Comments and criticism are greatly appreciated!))

Chapter 3

Fallout Equestria: Heroes With Wings

Part 3

“The light at the end of the tunnel may be an oncoming train…”

My hooves pounded the ground as I wove between the train car homes of Marefort. I had to hurry. This was too important for me to screw up by being slow. I had to…

Wat?

Why am I back in Marefort?

Looking down at my metal leg I could tell this wasn’t just another unwanted memory. The lack of repairs on some homes, the lack of damages on others. This is Marefort years ago. This was a dream. Only a matter of time before I see Wildfire die again…

But Wildfire wasn’t there. Nopony was there. All of Marefort was empty. Was it like this because I attacked Stable 42? Or was this showing how empty I was inside? Argh! Dumb dream, you should know better than trying to be all symbol-y with somepony like me!

Now I can’t even remember what the important thing that I had to do was. Well, if this is the Marefort of the past, I may as well head home. At least I know I won’t see Wildfire or…

I turned towards home. A thick, black smoke greeted me from up ahead.

Fuck!

No, not this! Not again. I didn’t want to dream this kind of dream!

Even as I protested the dream, my legs were carrying me forwards as fast as they could. I took every shortcut I knew, even making some new ones by smashing through homes. The dream version of Star Belle will be so angry when she sees what I did to her walls. Was this why I was running before? It didn’t feel like it.

I finally reached home. The trip felt like it took twice as long as it should’ve. Was my dream messing with me? I need to find some way to shoot it if it was.

I screamed into the black smoke coming from the door way. “Wildfire!!”

There was no answer.

I was about to charge into the blackness when I saw a small form walking through the smoke to the door.

“Foundation…” The name came from me before I could stop myself. My knees went weak. Then, as foal-sized shape came close, I could see some color. A yellow mane and a pink coat.

“Serenity?” What was she doing in Marefort? Ok, it was a dream, but ... just why?

Then walking out of the smoke, like it wasn’t even there, was a happy little filly. But it wasn’t Serenity. For starters, she was an earth pony. Also, her coat was a very bold color of pink and her mane was a much brighter yellow and without the red splotches.

“Amm, yoh wuind du suppise,” the filly mumbled around the large plate she held in her mouth. On the plate were several charred black discs that were still giving off black smoke.

“What?” I said trying to take this all in. I’ve had some weird dreams before, but I had no idea who this filly was.

The filly carefully put the plate down. “You ruined the surprise.” She didn’t look all that upset about it. Then, barely pausing, she rambled on happily, “My mommy said that I could visit you since this is super-duper important. But you were taking a really really long time. So I had the super great idea to make you something to thank you!”

“Let me guess…” I said looking at the black circles burning the plate. “Cookies?”

“Nope.” She beamed. “Cereal! My mommy doesn’t let me use the stove, but you don’t have one so it’s ok!”

What? How did she? I know this is a dream but…??

“Thank me for what?”

“For being really super nice and helping my friend!” The filly bounced up and down. Then she had a confused look on her face. “Mommy said it’s because you’re also doing something even more really very important and a lot of ponies are counting on you. I don’t really understand what she meant. There’s one of you. Even I can count that high without counting ponies. And what’s more important than helping friends? It’s like the mostest importantist thing evar!”

I coughed against the smoke still coming from the house. This weird little dream pony was thanking me for doing something important? What friend was I helping? “Who are you?”

The little pony flustered. “Oh! Sorry! I never said hi!” She then put on her biggest smile yet. “Hi, I’m…”

“Hired!” A voice boomed out of nowhere.

“Oh, your friends need your help now.” The pink pony waved as the smoke from the doorway started to flow out around me. “Bai Bai. Good luck pretty…” Her words were lost as the smoke turned everything around me back.

I opened my eyes. The black smoke was still everywhere, stinging my eyes, but now I could see around me. My head throbbed and I could taste healing potion in my mouth.

“What hit me?” I groaned as I stood up. Apparently I was on the floor, too.

“A steamer trunk moving at the speed of explosion,” Celly answered. “You’re lucky to still have a head.”

She was crouching beside me with Citquine on the other side of her. There was a big glowing purple bubble around us the same color as the glow of her horn. Before I could figure out what it was for, a burst of bullets were deflected by it. Handy.

Looking around, I quickly got reoriented. I was in the baggage car planning to steal a yellow box from some Steel Rangers. Then a filly that wasn’t a filly jumped into a pony that was a robot. Things went downhill at that point. Now the baggage car was on fire and we were trying to just avoid the cross fire.

“Nopony can possibly defeat the Invincible Iron Mare!” Her voice projected from the robot-armor-thing. Rearing up, she fired two balls of blue energy at the Rangers from her hooves.

“Really milking it isn’t she?” Celly mumbled from inside her shield.

Why did that make me feel like I was forgetting something important? Maybe Serenity would know.

Where was Serenity?!

Citquine must have noticed me looking around frantically. “Don’t worry. While you were knocked out I sent Serenity to get help.” He called over to me as another explosion sent a suitcase full of socks flying. What pony would travel with so many socks?

“Can I have everyone’s attention?” Steam Drive announced over the last intact speaker. “Currently in the baggage car a dwarf mare riding a robotic power suit is having an explosive battle with two Steel Rangers, an alicorn, a cyber-pony, and a diplomat. For your own safety, I recommend that everyone move as close as they can to the front of the train.” There was a long pause. “I’m serious this time!”

After another long pause a stallion’s deep voice came over the speaker. “This isn’t one of Steam’s dumb jokes! I have a filly here who says that the baggage car is already on fire. So if you don’t want to get shot by a stray bullet, I suggest you move your flanks! We’ll be sending security down to deal with the situation once any of them wake up.”

At least Serenity was safe. But why did she go to the train engineers? That just made this plan more difficult. We needed to finish this fast.

I turned to Celly. “Still have that Zap Apple?”

“Yeah. I’ve been waiting for a clear shot to get all three, otherwise we’ll be just…”

Whatever. “Ok. On my signal.” I jumped over the luggage we were hiding behind.

“Are you mad!” Citquine called at me. Not as mad as I’ll be if I screw up this job. I ran full speed at Iron Mare. She noticed me coming and started to turn to face me. Just what I wanted.

At the last moment I lowered my head and slammed my shoulder into her metal side. Intense pain shot through my shoulder. Was that crack from me or her? She was more solid than she looked. I should have used my metal shoulder. It did the trick though. She was off balance.

Hooking my fore-hooves under her metal body I lifted as hard as I could. I ignored my shoulder screaming in pain over how stupid this idea was. “Now!” I yelled. With a last jerk I tossed the metal pony into the stunned Rangers.

The Zap Apple flew out from the luggage and landed beside the heap of metal ponies. I backed up quickly to get out of its range.

*ZAP*

Groans escaped from the pile but it didn’t move.

“Ok. Next step. We, whoa!” The pain in my shoulder didn’t want to be ignored anymore and my leg buckled. Yeah, something was broken. Oh I’m bleeding too.

Celly floated to me another healing potion. I shook my head. “No, med-X.” With her floaty magic she switched to potion for the familiar needle and injected it into my shoulder. As the pain numbed I got back up.

“Now, before they…” I started.

“Reviving operator and restoring systems,” Ferris announced in a mechanical voice,

I went to face-hoof and the pain in my shoulder shot through the med-X. I switched to the other leg, and hit my face with a metal hoof. Ow. This is why I don’t have weapons on this thing.

“Impressive maneuver,” Iron Mare said while climbing out of the Steel Rangers. “Yet, I knew that train security used Zap Apples. So I programed a quick restart and revival routine in case of sudden loss of power.”

“So you’re the train robber that the NCA was looking for.” Citquine said to Iron Mare. Huh? Oh yeah, big pony, metal leg (four it turns out) and a filly. I guess that fits.

“At your service.” The metal pony bowed. Then its red glowing eyes turned to me. “And you’re the one who helped me get on board. Thank you.”

You just had to bring up how this is my fault. But at the station it was only her…

“How did you get that thing on board?!” Celly said pointing at Ferris. At least I don’t feel as dumb wondering that too.

Citquine spoke up. “I suspect that it was hidden in the debris that the train hit in the tunnel. It latched onto the train as it went by.” Ferris, or was that Iron Mare, nodded.

I don’t remember the train hitting anything. “When was that?”

“Right before you punched me out.” Celly glared at me. Oh yeah!

Iron mare looked back at the pile of rangers. “I guess this is two that I owe you. For that, I will not kill you or your friends. But I can’t allow you to get in the way of my mission.”

Citquine raised a hoof. “It was never our intent to interfere with your mission. You can have whatever you need from the secure car. We just have to get one box…”

“And my gun,” I added. I was not letting her get Subtlety.

“And her gun,” Citquine continued with a sigh. “And we’ll be on our way.”

“Splendid!” Iron Mare said. “I’m only after a yellow hazmat transport container.” Fuck. It’s never easy is it? “So you don’t need to worry about…” The rest of her words were lost as the back of the metal pony’s head exploded.

“CUUUUNT!!”

Ah. That’s what I forgot about. Paladin Chocolate Milk…

“I will not stand to be addressed in such a fashion!” Iron Mare turned to face the large Steel Ranger standing in the secure car doorway, sparks shooting out of the exposed back of Ferris’ head.

“Not you,” The ranger said in a high pitch voice. He (pretty sure it was a he, but with that voice…) pointed his automatic grenade launcher at Celly. “Her! And him!” The blue eyes of his helmet flared as he also pointed at Citquine.

“Have we met somewhere...?” Citquine started.

“Applelations.” The ranger squeaked. I know this is a dangerous situation and all, but that voice is just too silly.

“Oh...” The alicorn and stallion said together. I must be missing something here.

“Do you have any idea how much that hurt!?” The grenade launcher started to rev up. “And I’m not talking about being buried under a mountain range!”

Citquine began to back up closer to Celly. “I’m really sorry about that, and about what happened to your voice.”

“Actually…” Celly leaned over to Citquine. “I recall that he sounded like that even before you…” She got her shield up just in time as the grenades exploded off of it.

“I can see that you all have some catching up to do.” Iron Mare said dodging the explosion. The metal pony’s hooves then split apart. Each one becoming four claws. Its knees then bet at odd angles. “I’ll just be on my way then.”

She darted over to the nearest wall. The claws grabbing hold as she skittered up faster than something her size had any right to. The ranger tracked the sudden movement, blasting holes in the side of the train car and giving Celly’s shield a break. Iron Mare kept one hoof ahead of the explosions, hanging from the ceiling. The Paladin blew out half of the car’s roof as the mare in the robot raced past, over his head. She disappeared behind him into the secure car.

Fuck!

I ran at the stallion whose voice was as stupid as his name. Grenades exploded around me. Pieces of metal and wood dug into my sides. I closed the distance between us, glad that the med-x was still doing its work. I slammed my metal hoof against his helmet. Doubt that it hurt much, but the impact and sound of it was jarring enough to get him to stop firing.

Didn’t stop him from decking me with his own metal hoof though.

I staggered and tried to focus. That hit would have put a lightweight like Celly out for good. I tasted blood in my mouth and I think I lost a tooth. Serenity would probably want to replace it with a cyber-tooth. One of those blue ones that picked up wireless…

Oh right, still in a fight!

I came back to the present in time to block another swinging hoof with my Pip-Buck. Ducking under the hoof I gave another whack to the steel-plated head. I had to keep close so he couldn’t use that grenade launcher on me.

Stupid Name reared up and bucked my side with both hooves, knocking me over. Damn! That better not have been another rib gone!

As I struggled to my hooves I heard Celly shout out. “You idiot! Hit his gun, not his face!” Hearing this, Stupid Name visibly tensed up and then pulled his back legs closer together. Not that gun stallion…

The distraction gave me time to get back up jump to his side. With my metal leg I wailed on the barrel of the grenade launcher. I got in three good hits before he slammed his side into me. I hope it was enough.

The ranger turned to face me and leaped backwards to grenade range. The eyes of his helmet burned blue as he glared at me.

*THOOMP*

*BOOM!!*

The grenade jammed in the fouled barrel and exploded, sending the ranger flying on his side into burning luggage.

Now that he’s out of the way I just need to get that other metal pony and…

“CUUUNT!” Stupid Name screamed as he got up. What does it take to keep this guy down?! Looks like I also made his ‘cunt’ list.

The ranger staggered towards me. Was his grenade launcher repairing itself? Fuck. It was!

As he passed the doorway a metal streak leaped onto his back. His knees buckled and his grenade launcher was crushed under the weight.

“It’s been fun, fillies and colts, but I have to make like a rainbow and dash!” Iron Mare called from on top of the Ranger. Ferris had a large yellow case hanging from its metal mouth. With another leap the metal pony shot out through one of the holes in the car’s roof.

Fuck!!

Stupid Name was getting up too!

A purple glow surrounded me and I felt my hooves leave the ground. Now what’s going on?!

“Go after the case!” Celly called out as I was lifted to the hole. “We’ll take care of Falsetto here.”

Ok, cheating alicorn magic came in handy at times, and I had a job left to do.

My shoulder screamed as I ran across the top of the train cars after Iron Mare. Med-x was wearing off and each piece of shrapnel in my sides was making itself known. Didn’t matter though, she was quickly running out of cars to run to. As long as she didn’t jump off the side of the train I had her.

Why wasn’t she just jumping off the train?

Looking over I got my stomach turning answer.

You call this a ‘small bridge’ Steam?!

The massive wooden structure spanned over the two sheer sides of the canyon. With a drop like that no wonder it was called ‘Fatal Death Valley’. The hazy form of a town was a tiny collection of dots far below. Far, far below. Really, really, far, far…

Closing eyes now. This was stupid high up!

Still running on top of a train! Open eyes again damnit!

Iron Mare had reached the head train car. White steam blew off large pipes and turned to face me. “So, I guess you also wanted this box after all.” She raised a metal hoof at me. “Turn back or I’ll blast you off this train!”

I kept walking towards her. My eyes focused on the case hanging from the robo-pony’s mouth. Mostly because the big yellow box was the easiest thing to focus on instead of the drop down…

“Tried to warn you dearie.” She took aim.

Nothing happened.

“Ion cannon still charging after shut-down.” A metallic voice came from Ferris.

“Oh, right,” Iron Mare muttered, “I rerouted the power out-put for the faster boot sequence. Oh well, just one thing left to do.” A small gun emerged from the robotic foreleg as she called out to me. “I meant it when I said that I didn’t want to kill you, but if you keep interfering you’ll leave me no choice.”

I kept walking forwards. Ignoring the drop on either side of me even more than the pain all over my body.

The gun fired and a tiny needed hit my chest. Well, that was a pretty lame…

I staggered to my knees as I felt my whole body burn. Was that a fire bullet? No, I’m not on fire. It just feels like it!

“…is a terrible way to go, but it will be over quickly.” Iron mare was still saying something. It even sounded sympathetic. Didn’t matter. This tiny needle was not going to kill me!

I grit my teeth against the pain and struggled to stand up. Must have been quite a sight, even Ferris’ jaw dropped. The yellow case fell between the robot’s metal legs.

Then the pain was gone. Heh, guess that needle wasn’t made to deal with a mare my size. My metal shoulder was tingling though… oh no.

“How in the…” Iron mare stammered. A hatch behind her opened silently. “Do you even know what basilisk venom is?!”

“No.” I replied as Serenity’s little head popped up from the hatch. What the hell was she doing?!

Serenity climbed up to the roof of the train car as Iron mare face-hoofed. Or maybe it was Ferris. Do even robots find me that stupid? “Are you just too dumb to die?!”

The little filly was silently dragging the yellow case out from between the robots legs! This was insanely dangerous and crazy! No wonder ponies think she’s my daughter.

“Yeah. Probably.” I had to keep Iron Mare distracted. “But… not too dumb to make a deal.” I had to keep talking. Serenity’s life depended on it.

I was so fucked.

“Ha!” Iron Mare laughed. You probably knew it was a laugh from the ‘ha’ without me saying that... “What kind of a deal?”

“Well...” Think Silver! And don’t look at the box inching away! I said don’t look! “It’s not likely that we both are after the same box for different reasons. I bet that we are both working for the same client.”

“That’s possible…” Iron mare considered. “I’ve never seen the creepy mare that gave me this mission, only heard her voice through Ferris’ radio. She may have contacted others too. What of it?”

Creepy mare? Ok, not the same client. No matter. “We could work together and both come out on top. This is just a contract for me. I’m not in it for the money.” I’m not? I am. I’m just stalling. Shut up and keep talking! “So I’ll hand in the case, and you get the money. We both win and nopony has to be killed.”

“She just promised you money?” Iron Mare roared with laughter inside the robot. “You really are as dumb as you look!” Keep talking. Serenity is almost at the hatch. Stop looking! “She’s got access to some arcane power that I can barely grasp. The little demonstration she gave me would blow your tiny mind. Though I doubt that takes much.” I knew somewhere in Ferris she had a smug face on. I wanted to hit it so hard. “She’s promised me a share of that power for whatever is in that box, and there is no way that I’m going to…”

“YOU FOAL!” Another voiced boomed from Ferris. Ok, that is creepy. “SHE IS DISTRACING YOU! WHERE IS THE CASE?!”

Iron Mare turned around just as Serenity dropped the yellow case down the hatch.

“Why you little!”

Time froze as the metal hoof connected with the filly’s side.

In an endless moment Serenity was lifted into the air by the force of the kick.

The world continued to drag on as her little body sailed away from the train.

I watched as she slowly fell farther and farther down.

Then time instantly started again as burning blue energy splashed across my face.

I closed my eyes for only a moment against the searing pain.

When I forced them open she was already gone.

“Back on line!” Iron mare cheered somewhere in the distance.

Serenity was gone.

She was just trying to help me.

Now she’s gone.

It was my fault.

Survive.

Yes. Survive long enough to kill that bitch. Then blame yourself.

My vision went red as I charged at the robot. Shots of blue energy seared my chest and side. It didn’t matter. As I reached it I swung my metal leg at its head. Metal against metal sparked as the mechanical jaw broke off under the impact. A robot may not need a mouth, but it was a start.

I raised my hooves up to strike again.

The robot caught my legs with its claw-hooves. I strained against it as it squeezed. Blood flowed from my flesh leg and my metal on began to bend. I pressed harder against the robot. It squeezed more. There was the sound of bones breaking and a sickening intense pain shot my head back.

I swung my head back forwards. It smashed into the metal skull. The force was enough to stagger it and it released my legs. I fell to the train car roof. I couldn’t get up. Both my metal and bone forelegs were broken. Blood flowed quickly from the top of my head.

No! It’s not over!

Crawling on my knees I turned around to buck the robot.

Metal hooves slammed into my side. I slid across the roof of the car. Only my back slamming into a scalding hot steam pipe stopped me from going over the edge.

Survive.

Fighting though the darkness that crept into my vision I glared at Iron Mare. If only I could make ponies' heads explode with my thoughts!

Ferris’ head exploded.

How did I...

"Well, look at this!” A wonderfully familiar voice called out from above. “Appears we got here just in the nick of time.” More explosions erupted around the robot as Flare fired Bunker Buster. “Whaddya suppose that makes us?”

Bolts of lightning struck Ferris’ side as an armored griffin strafed past. “Big damn heroes.” He had a gun that shot lightning! That’s even better than fire!

The headless and burning Ferris staggered to the side and toppled off the train. Iron Mare screamed all the way down.

A brown pegasus hovered down to me. “Ain't we…”

“Mommy!”

The light pink filly squirmed out from his forelegs and rushed over to me.

Serenity was alive…

“Aww. She ruined my cool line!” The brown pegasus complained.

The griffin with the amazing gun landed beside him. “You can leave it in when you tell Rose all about it.”

Flare flew over to them. “If you even get that far. Sounds like your mare friend will jump you the moment you tell her how you heroically plucked a falling filly right out of the sky.”

I ignored their talking and just tried to hug Serenity while crying. It was hard with my legs broken and my eyes filled with blood. Good thing Serenity was crying and hugging enough for the both of us. I could feel a small bit of life returning to me as she hugged my neck.

I would survive.

“What did you do to your cybernetic leg!?” Serenity screamed in outrage when she noticed it.

I was so dead...

By the time we reached the station the train’s medic had mostly patched me up. I hurt all over (yay med-x), and my front leg was in a cast, but at least I didn’t lose another rib. Serenity managed to hammer my metal leg back into shape while I was being treated. At least enough to walk on. She kept complaining about how she’ll have to completely go over it when she had the right tools.

She was riding on my back as I met up with the others at the station.

“So, why did you three show up when you did?” Citquine asked Flare while filly Celly stood beside him. Looks like they won the fight with Stupid Name. His suit was missing a sleeve though and he was standing on just three legs. Guess Buckshot 13 was on the way.

“I met Moth and Gilly while waiting at the hostel,” Flare explained. “It wasn’t long before we started swapping stories. Well, me and Moth mostly. Gilly just stood off to the side all stoic-like.” The blue pegasus looked over and smiled at the griffin. I didn’t even notice he was there before. He was standing off to the side all stoic-like. Whatever that meant. “We soon came to the conclusion that there was no way that either you or Hired could be left alone for three days without something horrible going wrong. So we took off looking for the train. What is it with big, three-legged earth ponies and getting into trouble?”

Me and Citquine face hoofed. Well I did, earning a stab of pain in my still healing leg. Citquine on the other hoof should have used the other hoof. He lifted the front leg on the same side as the missing back. Only the purple glow that suddenly appeared around him stopped him from completely falling on his side.

Everypony tried really hard not to laugh. Only the griffin succeeded. Mostly.

Citquine cleared his throat. “Well. We should be going now, but first…” He motioned to Celly and something floated from his bag with a purple glow. “Your barding. All patched up and reinforced. I just wish it was ready sooner.” That makes two of us. “I put my card in the front pocket. If you ever find yourself in either NCR territories, look us up.”

“Uh. Thanks.” I doubt I would ever be that far north again. But at least he did pay for the repairs to my barding.

Moth and waved as Citquine’s little gang walked off. I noticed that the griffin moved in close to Citquine on the side missing the leg. The stallion then leaned against his bodyguard for support. I guess you never get used to walking with three legs…

“So. Where’s the case?” Flare asked as he hovered upside down into my view. Fuck. I knew I forgot something. I was too caught up with Serenity being alive and the whole me not dying thing.

“Miss Gun!” A voice called out. I recognized it even though it wasn’t coming from a speaker this time.

“I’m about to find out.” I told Flare and turned to Steam Drive.

He was pretty much what I expected. A lanky gray unicorn stallion with a white mane that made him look older than he probably was. On one side of him was a small green unicorn mare with a shockingly bright pink mane. On the other side was a massive black stallion with a short black mane. I guess these were the co-engineers, Skippity Doo and Iron Coal.

“Miss Gun. We are here to place you under arrest for the destruction of…” Steam was cut off when the two other unicorns slapped the back of his head at the same time. “Ah! Kidding! You two never let me have any fun. Actually, we are here to thank you and your friends.”

“Why?” Do ponies normally thank you for failing to rob their train?

“Why for stopping that nefarious bandit Iron Mare of course.” Steam continued. “Your daughter explained the whole thing to us. How you and your employer went to apologize to the Steel rangers for your actions last night. Then you discovered Iron Mare trying to rob the secure car and went to help in apprehending her. Even going as far as chasing her onto the train when she absconded with your belonging.”

“She was a little fuzzy on how an alicorn became involved, or where it went,” the black stallion said skeptically in the deep voice I also heard over the speakers.

From my back Serenity gave a little giggle. “I guess I got frightened and imagined it.” I knew she was giving her big innocent eyes at that moment.

“Well she was certainly a brave little filly when she climbed up on the roof of the engine room to get your case back,” Steam said, smiling.

Ah! If they still had it I can get it back and be done with this job! “About that…” I started.

“Don’t worry about it.” Steam waved his hoof. “It was safely returned to the secure car. You can pick it with the rest of your luggage at baggage claim.”

My heart sank, and I felt Serenity bury her face in my mane with a tiny frustrated scream.

“Aside for stopping that bandit, and saving the reputation of our train, there is one more thing I want to thank you for, “ Steam went on with a big grin. “That little adventure you pulled will now make my regular passengers think twice when I tell my little jokes. They’ve been getting too jaded, now they might just start believing me again!”

“Great, just what we needed,” The unicorn mare said rolling her eyes. “Oh, and you don’t have to worry about any of the damages. They were partly covered by insurance and the Steel Rangers will be paying off the rest. Even if we have to sell their power armor to cover it.” She then mumbled to herself, “Stupid oafs firing off their weapons like they own the place…”

“One more thing, Miss Gun,” The black unicorn added. “If you ever get tired of bodyguard work, we’ll always have a job for you in train security. You’re easily tougher than any 4 our guards put together.”

An interesting offer, but I still had a job that I had to somehow salvage. “Thanks, Iron Coal.”

The stallion glared at me. Did I say something wrong?

“The name’s Skippity Doo.” He pointed a hoof at the mare. “She’s Iron Coal.”

“Oh. Sorry,” I said as he continued to glare at me. Must be a sore spot. Still, with a name like…

He and the mare suddenly bust out laughing. “Just kidding! I’m Iron Coal, she’s Skippity Doo!”

As they walked away I heard Steam say: “Oh sure, it’s fine when you to do it, but I get hit when I make jokes.”

“That’s because our jokes are funny!” Skippity replied.

Serenity climbed up on my head and looked into my eyes. “Do we really have to take the same train back?”

“I hope not…”

“I’m really sorry that my plan didn’t work,” Serenity said as we waited in line for our luggage. Well, weapons actually. It was the luggage line though. I was back in my barding too. A little too late, but at least I had it.

“What plan?” I asked.

“I figured that by telling the engineers about the fight they would get everypony to move up in the train, creating a bottle neck so Iron mare couldn’t get through that way. Unless she could fly, and we now know she can’t, the only way she could have gone would be over the train. I would then grab the case if I got the chance.”

Wow. That was a pretty good plan. Aside for the not working part I guess. Better than running at her unarmed, like my plan.

“How did you know she was going to steal the case we were after?” Stop poking holes in my filly’s good plan with your logic, Flare.

“If I saw that she didn’t have the case, I would just leave her alone,” Serenity replied with a roll of her eyes. “With our luck, odds were good that she would have it though.” See. Good plan. Except for not working. Maybe she should come up with the plan on how to get the case back.

“Next!” The pony at the baggage check called us. The line moved pretty fast. What with most of the luggage being blown up or on fire.

“Receipts please.” The yellow pony said in a bored voice. I couldn’t tell if it was a mare or a stallion. Weird.

I reached into my barding pocket and pulled out four pieces of paper.

Four? We only had two.

Looking at them I saw that one was Citquine’s business card. The others were two receipts with bullet holes in them and one receipt that was burnt along the edges. I gave the receipts in and waited for our weapons.

First came the metal box that held our explosives and smaller fire arms. As Serenity was storing them in my saddle bags Subtlety was returned to me. Oh how I missed that beautiful, perfectly portioned, gun!

Then I saw what that third receipt was for.

Citquine really was a very helpful pony!

I dropped the yellow case in front of my client just outside of town. The griffin mare… No, that can’t be the right term. Griffinet? Griffiness? The female griffin, that will do, crouched down to inspect it.

“My fee,” I said flatly. I wanted this job to be over!

“In a moment, pony.” She snapped back. She then snapped open the case. She was very snappy.

Inside the case was what looked like a small rubber suit with a glass bubble. Without taking her eyes off the yellow thing she tossed a large bag of caps at me. Whatever it was, it was worth a lot of caps to her.

“What is it?” Serenity asked looking over my shoulder.

“Not our business. Job’s done,” I told her.

“It belonged to a good friend of mine,” The young griffin answered. She gently ran a talon across the suit. “Those tin bastards stole it from her grave. Probably thought it still had some power. Nearly killed Scold to get it…” She pounded her fist on the side of the case. “I tracked them all the way here from Equestria.” She gave a small laugh. “The whole trip was straight south. Just her style.”

She closed the case and stood up. “The only chance I had to get it back was on that train. But when I learned I couldn’t even board it, I had to hire you to do it for me.” She grabbed the case with her talons and spread her wings. “I’m sure she would be upset if I didn’t thank you for helping. So, thanks. You’re not bad ponies. No way am I going to start calling you pretty though!”

Pretty? Why did that remind me of something that I couldn’t remember? Whatever, job was done. “You’re welcome, Miss Days,” I replied, and she flew off.

As I walked back to town with Serenity on my back counting the caps, Flare flew down to meet us.

“So, how did it go?” He asked flipping upside down in the air.

“Got paid. Job’s done,” I answered.

“Great! ‘cause I already got a new job lined up!” He smiled, still upside down. Which did not look like a frown, despite what some ponies say.

“What job?” I asked.

“Simple revenge job. “ Sounds complicated already. “While at the bar I met a Sand Dog with a cybernetic foot. He says he’s looking for the pony that shot his paw!”

New Quest Perk: Close Enough – You haven’t apologized, but at least you hugged your not-daughter, so here’s your health back. Looks like you need it right about now. +10 health.

New Quest Perk: Puppy Love – You’ve never even been to the Big 52, but for some reason its sprit is helping you. +10% chance of critical hit with melee/unarmed attacks against bullybots.

((A/N: Yush! This was actually a three way crossover all along! Thanks once again to Kkat for starting this crazy post-apocalyptic ball rolling with the awesomely epic Fallout: Equestria. Also to No_One for making the wonderfully enjoyable Fallout Equestria: Heroes, and to mimezinga for making the adorably bitter-sweet Fallout Equestria: Pink Eyes. Thanks for letting me play in your worlds and with your characters, I tried not to break anything!

Also, I should mention the other inspirations for this. For those who have seen it, the Baccano! reference should be clear. Trigun: Badlands Rumble is what gave me the idea to set it on a train (round about thinking). Also the Firefly/Serenity reference was too good to pass up!

Thanks to everyone for reading this, and remember, nothing is cannon!

If you want a little more of this story (not sure why you would), You can check out Citquine’s perspective of the 3 days in his journal starting here ))