Wub Radio

by joe mother

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Sex, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, DJ P0N-3
Length: 3960

Vinyl Scratch goes to a radio show while Octavia sleeps. Hijinks ensue.

Story Cancelled. However, continuation of this story will be done by: SuperPinkBrony12

Under the cover of night, a lone unicorn sneaks away from a cluster of apartments towards a small building in the middle of Canterlot.

That pony is Vinyl Scratch, on her way to go to a radio show: Wub Radio, where things quickly get out of hoof between Vinyl and her new talk show friends.

Every day is a new episode of Wub Radio, and every day things get crazy.
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EVERY MONDAY, WEDNESDAY, AND FRIDAY IS READER'S CHOICE! I'LL PICK OUT TOPICS SUGGESTED BY READERS AND USE THEM IN THE SHOW! Keep it teen. No mature content.

Thanks to the people on this thread for giving me some names for the DJs and producers.

Published 2013-07-04 17:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-08-13 00:24:51 UTC

Monday Night: Show #1

Vinyl Scratch looked at Octavia for a moment. Was she asleep? After watching her for a minute, it appeared that she was.

Vinyl got out of bed and silently tiphoofed out of the room. She went over to the door and grabbed her coat from the coat hangar next to it.

The door clicked lightly as she opened it with her magic, but to Vinyl it sounded like an explosion. She turned her head to see if Octavia had woken, but she had not.

"Good," Vinyl said, walking from the apartment where the two stayed together.

She closed the door and locked it with her key. She sighed heavily and began to walk down the hallway as quickly and quietly as she could. She left the building and stepped out into the cold air.

Wow. she thought. This is going to be awesome.

She started her walk into Canterlot, going away from the heart of the city to a small, derelict house near the poorer section of the city. She went up to the door and knocked.

"Who is it?" a voice inside called.

"It's PON-3," Vinyl replied.

The entrance opened up, and a hoof ushered her in. She looked at the person who let her in.

"Ah!" she said in surprise. "Twirls?! Am I glad to see you! How long has it been? Six years?"

The two high-hooved and laughed.

"I don't know, Vinyl," the fellow DJ said. "So, it seems you DID get my invitation."

"Mysterious pony inviting me to a talk show?!" Vinyl said. "I couldn't resist! Besides, it said other DJs were gonna be here. I took my chances."

She chuckled, and a smile crossed her face.

"So, what're you doing out here in Canterlot?" Vinyl asked Twirls. "Last I heard, you were out in the griffon kingdom trying to preach about something civil rights-y."

"I was," Twirls replied, leading Vinyl to a large room in the middle of the home where a large round table was set up, mics sitting atop it, one for every seat. "Then I got bored and came here to start a talk show. That was a few weeks ago, and now I've finally got all of the DJs and producers I could want talking it up on air with me. Shit's been going well."

Vinyl took a seat in one of the vacant chairs and looked at all of the ponies at the table with her. She knew a few of them, but some were completely new to her.

"So," she said. "What are your names?"

They introduced themselves.

"I'm Zone," a magenta earth pony across from Vinyl said. "I'm a producer in Fillydelphia. Came here when I was sick of all the stuck up artists who thought they were all that. Now I do this, and I'm much happier."

"I'm Techbeat," the one to Velvet's left said. He was a pegasus with a dark yellow coat and a mane that was long and flowing. "I'm a DJ here in Canterlot. I haven't gotten any fame yet, but Twirls discovered me when I was in the club one night and asked me to join this."

"Spinning Record," the earth pony mare next to him said. "I'm Techbeat's producer. I know talent when I see it, and he's got it. I just followed him to this radio show."

"I'm-"

"You're Draft-Punk," Vinyl said. "As if I wouldn't know who you are. Your stuff is kicking!"

The earth pony nodded and stayed silent.

"And finally me," the unicorn stallion next to Vinyl said. "I'm F3tlock. I DJ out of the country for zebras and griffons and stuff. I learned a lot of things while out there, and while in the griffon kingdoms, I met Twirls. Offered to get me on a radio show he was planning on doing, and I told him to call or something when he was ready. So, here I am."

Vinyl smiled.

"I'm Vinyl Scratch," she said. "Or DJ PON-3 if you want to use my stage name. I got a letter from Twirls over there a week ago. He didn't put his name on it though! I had to take a shot in the dark."

"Well, guys!" Twirls said, taking his seat at the table. "It's time for the show to start!"

A small sign in the corner of the room flickered on, saying "ON AIR."

"How are you doing, Canterlot?" Twirls said over his mic. "It's time for every music lover's favorite show: Wub Radio! Tonight, as you all should know, is the day where we talk about listener submitted topics! We're going to go through two of them tonight, so I hope you're ready! We also have ourselves a new DJ on the squad: DJ PON-3!"

Vinyl smiled.

"Now, the first topic for tonight is..." Twirls pulled out a piece of paper and read it. "The best songs you've produced and/or wrote!"

There were a few conversations from a few of the DJs. Vinyl ran through her head, bringing up all of her songs.

"Tonight, we're going to start with our new DJ, DJ PON-3! So, what's your opinion?"

Vinyl rubbed her head.

"That's a really hard question, actually," she began. "I've written so many songs that I think are good, trying to decide the best is hard!"

Twirls laughed and thought for a moment.

"Okay, I'll rephrase that," he said. "Which of your songs has been most well received by the public?"

"Well that's easy!" Vinyl said. "Nasty Monsters Around has been enjoyed the most! I think it's okay, but whatever the public loves the most!"

Twirls turned to F3tlock next, who was already prepared to answer.

"What's your best work?" Twirls asked him.

"It's got to be-"

Vinyl just zoned out for the rest, not really caring what the others had to say. She closed her eyes and listened to white noise in her head. When she came back to, the last DJ was giving her answer.

"-and that's why I think it's my favorite."

Twirls nodded and pulled up his paper again.

"The final topic of the night is..." he paused a bit, shaking his head in dismay. "What is your sexuality? I swear to Celestia..."

He turned to Zone, who had been the last to go for the previous topic.

"Alright, Zone," he said, trying not to break down. "What is... your sexuality? My heavens, why is this a topic?"

"Well, I'm heterosexual," Zone began. "I've been with a few stallions, nothing too much. And stallions out there, I am open and available."

Twirls sighed and facehoofed.

"Next, Techbeats," he said, turning to the DJ. "Same question. Why...?!"

"I- uh..." he began. "This is actually really embarrassing..."

"Just say it!" Vinyl yelled, impatient. "I don't give Luna's hoof if it's embarrassing!"

Everypony laughed except for Techbeats.

"Well- I- I'm a coltcuddler."

There was a pregnant silence.

"That's- uh, interesting," F3tlock said.

Vinyl couldn't help herself, and she burst out laughing.

"What's so funny about that?!" Techbeats yelled. "It's embarrassing, and I just revealed to all of the ponies who listen to this show!"

"That's what's funny!" Vinyl replied, falling to the floor in her fit. "It's hysterical!"

Techbeats sighed and put his head in his hooves. Vinyl stood after recovering from her... "incident."

"Aw, dude," she said. "I didn't mean to offend you or anything."

Techbeats began to shake, and he lifted his face and showed that he was laughing too.

"I just revealed my sexuality over the radio!" he said, laughing.

That got everypony else laughing, too. Soon the room was filled with giggles and fits of hysteria as they drowned on the hilarity of the situation.

"Okay, calm down," Twirls said, struggling to bring himself to quiet as he did. "Next is Spinning Record."

"I'm straight," she said. "Not much else to it. I don't bed every other colt I meet, though, unlike Zone over there."

"I do not bed every other colt I meet!" the mare yelled. "That is a flat-out lie!"

"No, you bed at least four stallions last week!"

"So, that was last week! I was... a bit drunk! Okay, maybe I was a lot drunk, but still! That was just last week!"

Spinning Record smiled as she said this, and soon the room was in laughter again.

"For Celestia's sake, can we calm down enough to finish the show?!" Twirls yelled.

"Yeah, sure," was the general response.

"Now... Draft-Punk, what about you?"

"Straight as fuck," he said. "Nothing else."

There was a small bout of chuckling, but it did not escalate from there.

"F3tlock?" Twirls said.

"Ah, I'm a coltcuddler, too," he said. "Sometimes you're just so awesome and then you fucking learn you love other stallions. Shit gets you sometimes."

Everypony just accepted that one, and now all eyes were on Vinyl.

"'K, PON-3, what about you?"

"I," she began, cracking her neck. "Am a fillyfooler and proud."

There was a bit of murmuring.

"Have you been with anypony?" Zone asked.

"Oh, I got me a marefriend," Vinyl stated. "We live together in an apartment near the middle city."

"Do you two... get it on?" Draft-Punk asked with a smirk.

"I would, but she's a bit shy and cautious about the whole thing. I keep trying to get onto her, but she's against it."

"That sucks," F3tlock said. "Even I've done it with another guy."

"I'll just have to get her used to it," Vinyl replied.

"Well, folks!" Twirls said over the mic. "That's the end of tonight's episode of 'Wub Radio!' There was a groan from the DJs and producers. "See you tomorrow!"

The "ON AIR" sign flickered off, and the seven sat there for a bit, just staring into space.

"You guys go home," Twirls said. "You need that sleep."

There was a loud mumble of "We don't need sleep," but they all complied and began to walk back home. Vinyl was disappointed that nopony was walking in her direction.

"Oh, well," she said. "I'll see them tomorrow. And it'll be great."

Author's Note

DJ and producer name help from this forum thread. Thanks to those who gave me ideas.

EVERY MONDAY, WEDNESDAY, AND FRIDAY IS READER'S CHOICE! I'LL PICK OUT TOPICS SUGGESTED BY READERS AND USE THEM IN THE SHOW! Keep it teen. No mature content.

Tuesday Night: Show #2

"Vinyl?" Octavia asked as Vinyl snuck into their room.

"Oh, for fuck's sake!" Vinyl said, throwing her hooves in the air. "You didn't wake up until NOW?!"

"What?" the cellist asked. "What do you mean?"

"I doesn't matter!" the DJ yelled as she plopped down on her bed next to Octavia.

"What is it?" Octavia asked.

"Something you wouldn't care about."

"What happened to being honest? I said I'd leave you if you kept lying about going out at night."

"Fine," Vinyl groaned. "I went to a radio show last night. I was invited by an old friend of mine. I'm going tonight as well."

Vinyl had just gotten back from the show- it was already dawn- and was hoping to sneak into bed without detection. Alas, Octavia's sleeping habits were... strange to say the least. They were like Pinkie Sense or something.

"Wait, you were on a radio show?" Octavia asked. "As in- an actual, live, public radio show?"

"Yes, an actual, live, public radio show."

"Oh, I've always dreamed of being on the radio!" the mare squealed. "Can I come with you? Can I?"

"No," Vinyl said, rolling her eyes. "It's for producers and DJs. At least, I think it is. I didn't ask."

"Please bring me! Please, please, please!"

Vinyl facehoofed and sighed.

"Fine. Just don't do anything stupid or... Canterlot-y I guess."

"Thank you, Thank you, Tha- wait, are you calling me a snob?"

"No, I said just don't act like one."

"Why you little-!"

Octavia threw a weak punch at Vinyl, who playfully intercepted it. Octavia began to bash on the mare, yelling insults about the tawdriness of DJs and producers.

When she stopped, Vinyl was on the floor, laughing.

"W- we lick shit off the floor!" Vinyl hooted as she quoted one of Octavia's insults. "Oh, I gotta remember that one for some Canterlot snob!"

Vinyl picked herself up and wiped a tear from her eye. Octavia was boiling with rage, but she quickly calmed down.

"C'mon, let's get some food!" Vinyl said. "I'm starving!"

~

That night, Vinyl and Octavia stood in front of the same building the radio show was hosted in, shivering in the cold.

"Just knock on the door!" Octavia hissed.

"No, I want to interrupt the program," she said, her ear pressed against the wood, listening for the start of the show.

"I don't give Luna's flank if-"

"Ah ha!"

Vinyl slammed her hoof on the door and a loud yelp came from inside.

'What in the hell?!" Twirls yelled.

"Hey, it's PON-3!" Vinyl yelled. "We're freezing our flanks off out here! Can you open the door?!"

There was a grumbling as somepony came to the door.

"Oh, for Celestia's sake, PON-3," Twirls said as he opened the entrance. "Why do you have to be so-"

He caught sight of Octavia and stopped.

"Who the hell is this?" he asked.

"It's my marefriend!" Vinyl said.

"Vinyl, I told you not to-" Octavia began, but was cut off by Twirls.

"The same mare you were talking about last night?"

"The one and only!"

Octavia turned to Vinyl.

"You spoke about our relationship on the RADIO?!?!" she yelled at the top of her lungs.

"Yeah, so?" the DJ responded.

"You- you stupid bitch!"

Vinyl laughed and led Octavia inside. Vinyl sat down and watched as the other ponies just watched in some form of impressed shock.

"So," Zone asked. "Is she a DJ, too?"

"Nah," Vinyl said, placing her forelegs on the table, crossing them. "She plays cello. She wanted to come here."

"She wanted to come to a place where DJs talked about a ton of weird shit?" Draft Punk asked.

"I don't know why," Vinyl replied. "The mare is a complex pony."

Octavia hit her on the back of the head.

"Alright! Enough!" Twirls yelled as he sat back down. "The show has started, and this is live! Let's get to the show!"

"No," Techbeats said. "Let's talk about her, the cellist. I want to hear her accomplishments."

"Wha- I will not!" Octavia said.

"You scared, Tavi?" Vinyl asked. "You... chicken?"

This earned Vinyl another whack on the back of the head. Again.

"Fine!" the gray mare said. "I will tell you. Ask away, I guess."

"How long have you played cello?" Zone asked.

"About four years," Octavia responded. "I've played at many different junctures across Equestria, including the Grand Galloping Gala. Even though it was... an absolute disaster."

Vinyl snickered. Octavia hit her on the back of the head. For the third time.

"You ever listen to electronic stuff?" Spinning Record asked.

"No," the cellist replied. "That stuff is just absolute CRAP! I don't understand how a pony can listen to it!"

"So, you've never heard anypony who writes electronic music?" Draft Punk asked.

"No! It's trash!"

This started a bit- okay, understatement... gigantic would be a better word- argument. Ponies screamed things across the room until it was all a big blob of noise.

"Ponies!" Twirls yelled, silencing the commotion. "You are all causing a cacophony the audience does not want to hear! Let's get back to the show! We've only got twenty minutes left of the air time allotted to us! Continue asking her questions, but no fighting this time!"

There was a collective sigh of disappointment.

"So, uh," F3tlock began. "How is, uh, life?"

"It's good," Octavia replied awkwardly.

There was a good amount of silence. A VERY good amount.

"Ask some questions!" Twirls yelled.

"You ask one," Zone told him.

"Fine," the host replied. "How is being a cellist?'

"It is absolutely wonderful!" Octavia said joyously. "I've learned so many things about music that you musical heathens would know nothing about, and I meet the best ponies!"

"How'd you meet PON-3?" F3tlock asked.

"She came to one of my concerts," she said.

All eyes settled on Vinyl, who smiled sheepishly.

"Why were you at a CLASSICAL concert?!" Techbeats asked in shock.

"Well," Vinyl replied. "Truth be told, I enjoy it. I guess you could call it a fetish or something."

There was another moment of long silence. Really long silence.

"That is just some weird shit, bro," Draft Punk replied, hitting her on the shoulder with a hoof.

The "ON AIR" sign flickered off.

"Well, ponies," Twirls said. "We are off the air! Go home!"

Nopony groaned or complained this time, and they filed out quietly. Soon, Vinyl and Octavia were alone on the road to their apartment.

"So, how was?" Vinyl asked, rubbing up against her marefriend.

"It was boorish," Octavia replied.

"Aw! So you didn't like it?"

"No, I did not, and I would rather you never take me there again. Go on your own from now on!"

Vinyl sighed.

"Okay," she said, dejected.

"It's not that I don't like it, Vinyl. Well, actually it is, but it's more because I can't stand being around ponies like that. I can't stand it!"

Vinyl laughed and kissed her.

"Hey!" Octavia yelled. "I said not to do that unless I said you could!"

"Too bad!" Vinyl yelled, starting to run. "You'll have to catch me to do anything about it!"

Octavia chased after the DJ, swearing angrily.

Author's Note

Anypony know why the Fimfiction bar says MUH FREEDOMS?

Here's the new chapter! Next one will have reader topics! I'll pick them, so SUGGEST A TOPIC AWAY!

Nexosaur

Wednesday Night: Show #3 (Reader's Choice 1)

Vinyl woke up, got dressed in her coat, left the apartment building, and was at the building for the talk show faster than she even deemed possible. She knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" a slurred voice from inside said; Vinyl could not tell who it was.

"It's PON-3," she replied.

The door was opened, revealing a very drunk F3tlock.

"Uh, what happened to him?" Vinyl asked to any of the ponies in the room.

"We have beer," Twirls said. "And it turns out to be a bad idea."

"Why?"

"Today is a listener's choice day, and the topics are about the princesses. I fear somepony's gonna say something they'll regret."

Vinyl saw at least six packs of beer on the table, and saw that all of the stallions but Twirls were tipsy.

"Awesome!" she said, sitting down and grabbing a beer for herself. She chugged it and was quickly on another.

"Oh, for Luna's sake!" Twirls said. "Everypony's gonna get drunk and say something stupid and everypony listening will hear it!"

Vinyl shrugged- she could care less- and chugged her second beer.

The "ON AIR" sign came on, and Twirls sighed heavily.

"Hey, this is 'Wub Radio' here to give you insight on the minds of DJs and producers from over Equestria," he spoke into his mic.

"Love the new intro, Twirls," Vinyl said, popping a Twinkie into her mouth.

"Yeah, whate- where did you get that Twinkie?"

"I brought a few with me," the DJ replied with a smile. "They taste awesome."

Twirls groaned and smashed his head onto the table.

"Fair warning before tonight's show," he said. "Is that everypony is fucking drunk. Please excuse practically everything they say."

Something broke behind him, and he turned to see F3tlock swinging his hooves around, singing about a "lonely mare."

"Oh my Celestia," he muttered. "Alright, let's get this train wreck started. The first topic of the night is: 'Who is your favorite Princess?'"

He looked at F3tlock first.

"Well?" he asked the drunken pony.

"I think that we should all get together and dance the polka!" the DJ yelled into the air, swaying dangerously. "And then we can go to my bedroom and jump on my bed!"

Twirls kicked the table in frustration.

"Okay," he said. "Zone, who do you think is the best princess?"

'Well, I think it's Luna," she replied. "I hang out at night all the time. Besides, that's when you get to go to the clubs and all that awesome stuff."

"Finally a sane answer! Now, Techbeats, how do you feel?"

"Luna as well," he said through slightly drunken lips. "Same reasons Zone had."

"Spinning Record?"

"I like Celestia!" the producer said. "I like the warmth of the sun and I like the look of the clouds in the day."

"Draft Punk?"

"I don't care for either," the pony said, completely drunk. "In fact, I'd prefer we had a democracy. The princesses are doing a bad job keeping this country safe! I mean, Nightmare Moon, Discord, Changelings! Why can't they do anything about that?!"

Twirls shushed him and held his face in his hooves.

"Why did there have to be beer?" he asked himself. "Your turn, Vinyl."

"I like both equally," she said, already feeling her mind become numb from the alcohol. "I'm fine with the day and the night. Though I think I'm leaning to Celestia, because she pulls pranks and shit. Funny stuff."

Twirls sighed, as the conversation was now over.

"Next topic," he began. "Is: 'What do you think of the princesses?'"

He turned to Vinyl who, in the time he had not been looking, had drunk two more beers.

"I think that Luna needs to get some friends!" she spouted. "I think Celestia needs to stop pulling pranks on ponies! She's a princess, and she should act like it! I mean, why does-"

"That's enough!" Twirls said, raising a hoof. "F3tlock?"

There was no response. Twirls turned and saw F3tlock had passed out at some point during the previous question, and he was lying on his back, legs spread.

"Oh, shit!" he yelled, turning away from the sight. "Why did I allow beer?! Zone?"

"I think they're both excellent!" the mare said. "They do their jobs well and everything goes fine! However, Luna isn't social enough and Celestia is too social."

"Much better!" Twirls said. "Techbeats?"

"I don't really care," he said, now looking fairly drunk. "Not really my problem!"

Twirls looked confused, but he just sighed and moved on.

"Draft Punk?"

"Same things I said before!" he yelled. "Why aren't they protecting our kingdom from attacks and-"

"Shut up!" Twirls screamed. "For Luna's sake, why do you all have some kind of drinking issue?! Spinning Records?!"

"I'm fine with the princesses," the producer said fearfully, scooting back in her chair.

"Okay! That's the end of this night's episode of 'Wub Radio!' I am NEVER letting alcohol in here again!"

Zone and Spinning Record left, not wanting to stay in the same room as the drunken DJs.

"I'm going to just let them sleep here," Twirls said, opening the door. "Let 'em know not to do that again."

~

Vinyl woke up with a splitting headache. Around her, the other DJs were doing the same, cringing as they got up.

"Last night was one hell of a time," Techbeats said.

"Fuck, yeah!" Vinyl yelled.

They all went home after that, wanting nothing but the soft embrace of their beds.

Author's Note

FeatherNote21:

Topic for next week; Who is best Princess?

SuperPinkBrony12:

How about what our DJ's think of the Princesses

DRUNKEN FUN!

Thanks for suggestions! Continue to suggest!

Nexosaur

Story Cancellation

This story has been cancelled for the foreseeable future. It may be months before it updates, as other stories and ideas of mine have more to do and hold more importance.

Feel free to read my other stories while you wait.

Story Continuation

Story is being continued by SuperPinkBrony12, and can be found here.