It was a busy afternoon at the Sugarcube Corner - a very popular place among the local youth, who favored its variety of sweets and sugary beverages - irreplaceable for the proper development of young body and soul. Six wildly colored high school girls were sitting at the table located inside the establishment. An attentive observer would be able to notice that they were discussing the question of the upcoming Fall Formal Princess coronation - a very important event for those who attended the local school, and even more important for this particular group of students.
"All right, girls. Dance is tomorrow night and we still don't know how we're gonna get Twilight the vote she needs to be named princess..." Applejack said.
"I believe I may be able to give you a hand." The orange girl was interrupted by a stranger who approached the talking friends.
"What, who are you?" Twilight addressed the newcomer. He seemed like an average high schooler - a young male with relatively light complexion, brown hair and blue eyes. His clothes were not unusual as well - standard dark blue jeans, sneakers and what appeared to be a military surplus jacket. He was carrying a small khaki backpack.
"A friend," he replied. "The rest is not important! Now, about the vote..."
"Wait. How do you know that we have a problem!?" Rainbow Dash inquired, with an audible distrust in her voice.
"Well, it's not exactly like you are hiding this from anybody, right?" the stranger explained, ruffled. "I mean, you talk about everything openly, you meet in public places... Plus the contest is a very popular topic recently, with all the videos, competition and what not."
"I tell ya, he's right about that," Applejack said, resigned. "Anyway, is it really any of your business?"
"Oh, Applejack. Right now we can use any help we can get," Twilight said. "What is it that you can offer us, friend?"
"I know a man" replied the stranger "A man who knows everything about winning elections. I can help you contact him."
"Now, who would that be?" - Twilight asked politely.
The stranger pulled a laptop out of his backpack and placed it on the table. On the screen appeared a picture showing a middle-aged bearded man wearing a grey suit. His eyes were like tiny steel daggers, piercing the world before him with a look of determination.
"Akhmed Aslanovich Isaev. President of the Kabardino-Cherkess Republic, Russia."
"Wait wait wait wait wait. This name sounds awfully foreign if you ask me!" Pinkie Pie interrupted vigorously.
"Pinkie Pie! You are so racist!" Rainbow Dash rebuked her pink friend and addressed the newcomer: "Okay, from what I understood he is some kind of a Russian politician. Forgive me, but how does that relate to an election of high school dance princess?"
"Young idealists!" the boy bridled. "Democracy may have different forms, may be ruled by different people with different intentions, and may show different levels of corruption all around the world. But in the end it's all the same - some people vote, other people count votes, and then someone gets something."
"So let's say that we do need a help from a professional," Applejack said. "But how do we know that this guy is as good as you put it?"
The newcomer sighed and pointed at the laptop screen.
"Just look at his credentials:
"1983 - Nomination for the Secretary of the local Executive Committee. Youngest in history, despite the peak of gerontocracy in the party.
"1986 - Remains in power in spite of Perestroika reformist trends which purged many hardliners like him.
"1989 - Faces strong opposition from the nationalist groups as well as newly empowered free press. Still remains in power.
"1991 - Elected as the president of the Republic, even though at that time he became a local symbol of the socialist past.
"1995 - State's ambiguity towards growing tensions between ethnic groups makes all government officials in the region extremely unpopular. Akhmed still gets reelected.
"1997 - Allegation of him being connected to ethnic cleansing and illegal paramilitary groups cause a federal investigation which results in early elections. Which he wins.
"1999 - Survives three assassination attempts in one year.
"2000 - Starts his third term of office despite the constitutional limit of two terms.
"2004 - Media expose his financial background, as well as "friendship" with some of the local oligarchs, calling for another earlier elections. Another election, another win for Isaev.
"2005 - Fourth term, second above the limit.
"2007 - Isaev's administration is accused of spying on political opposition. Allegations of other forms of corruption appear in press reports as well. Three quarters of the local government are dismissed, yet Isaev stays in office.
"2010 - Another reelection... Shall I continue? I am sorry I didn't bother with the details, but it appears that time is of great value."
The girls remained speechless for a few seconds, staring with open mouths at the laptop. Finally Applejack broke the silence:
"Umm... Are you sure this is the guy for us? He seems very... very professional."
"Oh, of course - you must wonder why such man would help you. Well, from what I've heard he won't mind doing a little consulting for a change..."
"But we are just a suburban high school!" Rarity exclaimed, still puzzled after hearing about Isaev's career.
"That shouldn't be the problem, he probably doesn't care. As long as you pay him and do what he says."
"Pay him!? How are we goin' to pay him..." Applejack sounded quite surprised.
"I mean, I guess. Time of such person must be quite valuable. But I am sure you will think of some form of payment if you don't have the money to pay up front. Then again, who knows, maybe he'll give you advice for free if he feels like it."
"Well, if it's necessary then we will come up with something..." Twilight asserted.
"Wait, are you SERIOUSLY considering this?!" Rarity asked in a rather nervous manner.
"I know this is not the most honest way to win, but we can't let Sunset Shimmer have the crown!" Twilight replied. "Besides, what else can we do? Wear funny hats and sing?"
"N-no, of course not..." Rarity replied diffidently.
"Then I understand I should give you means to contact him?" the newcomer asked.
"Yes. Yes, that would be perfect!" Twilight replied, with a moderate, yet noticeable excitement.
"All right. Meet me at the library in an hour," the young male stated. "In the meantime, write an accurate description of your problems and send it to this address." The newcomer reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper with something written on it. Then he placed it on the table, and left the cafe.
"I can't believe we are doing this." - Rarity stated in an unnaturally calm voice.
"I, for one, think, that this is awesome! It's like we're in a spy movie or a political thriller!" exclaimed Rainbow Dash.
"Well, it is always good to seek a professional advice... I guess," said unsurely Twilight.
***
The library was even more quiet than usual at this time of day. Most of the classes ended earlier and thus it was devoid of students trying to borrow books or use the Internet. There were only seven souls inside, all focused on one computer located in the furthest corner of the room - the group consisting of the same people who met earlier at the Sugarcube Corner.
"Okay, I managed to set up video chat with Isaev," said the young male. "Thanks to the e-mail you've sent he has already been informed on the nature of your problem. He should be online as soon as that progress bar reaches 100%, so get ready!"
The girls waited nervously as the net of computers tenaciously transferred all the necessary information. The faint tapping of feet on the wooden floor indicated impatience. A drop of anxious sweat appeared on Fluttershy's neck.
Finally a familiar, yet so distant, unnerving face appeared on the computer screen.
"Nu Ryebyata!" the bearded man spoke with a heavy Russian accent. "I analyzed the problem you were having and found a solution. First of all, don't worry about the money, I understand the importance of your goal. Now listen carefully, here is what you've got to do..."
***
It was the night of the dance. In spite of the earlier setback everything seemed to be in order and the youth was having a great time. The band was playing, the students were dancing, the situation was literally soaking with fun! Everyone waited for the announcement of the new princess. But, everything needs to happen at the right moment. In this case, such moment came relatively quickly. The music stopped and Principal Celestia came on stage.
"First off, I want to say how wonderful everything looks tonight. You all did a magnificent job pulling things together after the unfortunate events of earlier," the official stated.
"And now, without further ado, I'd like to announce the winner of this year's Fall Formal crown," Celestia spoke, while Vice-Principal Luna brought the box containing the crown onto stage.
Everyone, especially Twilight and her friends held their breaths. Soon it would be clear if all of their hard work had paid off, if everything went as planned. Of course, after all the preparations they were almost sure to win. But there still was that little drop of doubt in everyone's soul, a little grain of anxiety which fell between the gears of confidence. Twilight's heart pounded as the Principal was about to read the name of the winner.
"The Princess of this year's Fall Formal is..."
...
...
...
...
"...Akhmed Aslanovich Isaev!"
Author's Note
While watching the movie I remembered an old Russian joke... and this idea was born.
