Pony Calibur

by Polarfish

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Crossover, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Princess Luna, Original Character
Length: 4582

A tale of two swords, in a battle that will forever change Pony history.

Patroclop is a young colt, honor-bound to represent his homeland. As a war breaks out, Patroclop fights with Equestria, despite the war being on odd terms and many peculiar events that seem to link with the legendary blade of death and despair, Soul Edge.

A story filled with deceit, confusion and weapon-based combat, Patroclop makes his mark in history, making allies and even more enemies.

Can Patroclop see through the shadow of evil, and save Ponykind from destruction?

Published 2012-02-18 06:24:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-02-22 19:27:59 UTC

Chapter 1

As the fight continued to rage in the arena, Patroclop sat on his rump, lost in thought. He had made it to one of the biggest combat events anypony could ever wish to enter. Looking around the room, Patroclop saw Equestria’s combatants already geared up; but he wasn’t. And he was up next.

The other colts seemed completely focused on what was to come, not even talking to each other, or their squires. They were completely clad in thick, dark blue armour with only their snouts and eyes showing, as per tournament rules. The dim lighting in the room made it difficult to see them; especially as the walls were also dark blue.

Patroclop was the only new combatant on the Equestria side this year, so everyone else in the room was used to this setting. He had never felt so nervous in his life. His fear made him shiver slightly, and he lost himself in his mind, not listening to the ongoing fight like the other combatants were. He was a tall, white colt, fairly young for a combatant. He had a head of short, blonde, bushy hair. His dark brown eyes burn with the passion of battle, so his mentors had told him. His Cutie Mark was his weapon of choice; a long, slightly curved sword, one edge thinner and slightly more jagged than the other.

“Patroclop, you look sad” Putchuk said, “Are you ok?”.

Patroclop smiled at his young squire. The small colt was obsessed with him. He seemed to aspire to be exactly like Patroclop in every single way. He had even dyed his hair blond to match Patroclop’s, seeing as Putchuk was also white. The poor thing even had a blank flank; he had asked Patroclop many times to practice with his sword, as he was sure that his Cutie Mark would be the same as Patroclop’s. Patroclop often let him, but the poor boy always stopped practicing swiftly after starting, due to never getting the Cutie Mark.

“Ah, I’m fine, Putchuk” Patroclop replied, trying to put a smile on his face, “I’m just very nervous, that’s all. I’ve never fought in something this big”.

“But you’re gonna win!” Putchuk cried happily, “No colt can defeat the magnificent Patroclop! They’ll be talking about the colt with the sleek, thin, white coat and shaggy, blonde mane for years to come after your amazing victory! Hell, I’d say you could beat all of Porea’s combatants at once!”.

Patroclop blushed as all the other combatants turned around to look at Putchuk’s outburst, with smiles on their faces, some laughing quietly to themselves.

“Quiet down a bit, will you?” Patroclop replied, slightly angry, “You’re embarrassing me! The Equestria versus Ponea competition is serious business! I’ll be fighting in front of Princess Celestia herself, and in front of a colt chosen by Ponea! My opponent may be fighting with a fighting style I’ve never fought before, due to them fighting a bit differently over there!”.

Putchuk’s face fell at this outburst, but he didn’t feel like moaning about it.

“I’m extremely nervous as I don’t want to fail my homeland!” Patroclop went on, “Ponea won last year, and I don’t want to contribute to them having another victory! Now, it’s best that you gear me up so I won’t miss the fight!”.

Without saying a word, Putchuk got ready to put Patroclop’s raiment on him as he stood up. Putchuk put on his chest piece, helmet and greaves, respectively, each a perfect fit, tightened securely over Patroclop’s body. He then gave Patroclop his sword; the same one he had used all his life, and the one that was also his Cutie Mark. Putchuk had sharpened and cleaned it since Patroclop had last seen it. Putchuk obviously wanted him to have a clean sword in order for him to look better or become famous or something like that, he thought to himself.

“AND THE WINNER OF THE FIRST ROUND IS PONEA!” the announcer from outside bellowed, “WON BY…. ZIADO!”.

Patroclop lowered his head in disappointment as the cheers went on outside from the spectators. He had even more pressure to win now, since they were already a point down. Podre walked in after about a minute, looking even more disappointed, and he seemed to be barely able to move in the combatant armour.

“I’m sorry I lost, everyone” Podre said crying, “I have failed you”.
Podre was a black colt, about the same age as Patroclop, taking after his mother, Luna. He had a frail body and frail health, most of the time, if the stories about his many illnesses were true. His high status in society had made him a spoiled child, and he never lost that attitude.

Nopony tried to console him. Patroclop and the rest of the team felt that Podre was a useless attention seeker. From what Patroclop had seen of his fights, he was never very good with his fencing sword, and he was a real drama queen. After about fifteen seconds of noticing that nopony cared about his sadness, he went into a rage.

“Why don’t you guys take me seriously?” he snapped, “Yes, I may not be as good as you all, but I was still chosen to fight here, and I deserve respect!”.

“HAH!” one of the Equestrian combatants shouted, “You’re Celestia’s nephew! If you weren’t Luna’s son, you wouldn’t have even be considered for this tournament!”.

“Oh, yeah?” Podre replied, “Celestia chose me personally, although there were many different ponies to choose from. If she cared about winning this time, which she always cares about, she wouldn’t have picked me to be one of the fifteen contestants!”.

“She picked you to go first” another combatant said cruelly, “She wanted your performance out of the way since it was so short! She knew you were going to lose, but put you at the beginning so the crowd had better fights to watch! She’s also been watching the other team, and believes that we have a really good chance of winning this year as they aren’t looking too good. So, stop your whining and get out of here, before you get roughed up!”.

Podre was stunned by this outburst. He wasn’t used to being addressed in such a way, seeing as he was pretty much royalty in Canterlot. He stormed out of the room without a single word.

“Anyway” the same combatant said, looking at Patroclop, “From what I’ve seen, you’re far better than that chump! And I think you’ve got a fair chance against your opponent!”.

Patroclop was confused. “You know who I’ll be fighting? He asked eagerly.

“Of course I do!” the combatant replied, “Didn’t you know that the fights are randomly selected before the event, and we know who’s fighting who? Anyway, you’ll be fighting a staff user. He had very good control of it, but prefers high, horizontal strikes. You should be well able to deal with him”.

Patroclop’s face fell. “But I’ve never fought a staff wielder before!” he cried, “And he’s surely fought a sword wielder! He has a massive advantage!”.
“Relax” the combatant replied, “You’re fairly unique to other sword wielders. I don’t know what it is, but from what I’ve seen of you, you have some sort of…. Gift for battle”.

Patroclop began to blush, and hung his head down lower.

“You have no reason to be afraid” he continued, “Staff wielders prefer lighter attire than the standard tournament armour, anyway! He’ll be too weighed down to do his normal, quick moves!”.

Patroclop listened to the combatant’s words and began to become more confident. He could do this. He’s won many fights before, and a new stick guy won’t be enough to stop him, he thought to himself.

“That’s the spirit!” the combatant said happily, as he saw Patroclop’s eyes light up. “Now, your match should begin any minute now. Calm your nerves a bit while you can”.

Patroclop sat down and took a few deep breaths, before the announcer began bellowing again.

“Now, citizens of Equestria and Ponea, welcome…. YOUR NEXT TWO COMBATANTS!!!”.

The crowd started roaring as Putchuk began nudging Patroclop towards the door. Patroclop took a deep breath, before opening the door and walking out into the bright, sun-lit stadium, thousands of fans there to greet him.

Chapter 2

Patroclop felt completely overwhelmed as he exited into the ring. The circular arena, with its desert-brown floor and its millions of seats for spectators. He had never thought that he’d ever be on this side of the arena; in the fight itself. He could already hear Putchuk’s steps up to the spectator’s area.

He looked to his right, to see the leaders of Ponea and Equestria, on the highest seats in the arena. He saw Princess Celestia, in all of her magnificence, with an empty seat beside her, belonging to Luna. She’s probably tending to Podre, Patroclop thought to himself. Beside her, Patroclop saw the leader of Ponea; Konub, the legendary Earthpony, in his red monk’s robe. They were both surrounded by guards.

Konub was a particularly large colt; light brown in colour, with a large mane of grey hair, and a grey beard. Although he was very powerful, there was something about him that made him particularly unique for such an old pony; he was famed for not having a Cutie Mark. Konub was the leader of an order of monks, the Rashu-Atsu, that gained great influence over Ponea, eventually putting Konub in power and having Ponea split from Equestria a few thousand yeas ago. The vast majority of Poneans agreed to it due to the differences in culture of Ponea to the rest of Equestria, especially as Ponea was only a bit smaller than Equestria.

To his left, Patroclop saw the announcer, and the windowed box where the anonymous judges were watching.

“Now, fans!” the announcer bellowed, “Welcome your two combatants; Kinba of Ponea and Patroclop of Equestria!”.

The crowd went wild and Patroclop felt overwhelmed. Celestia was looking at HIM and applauding. He managed to shrug it off and look at his opponent.

Although combatants are difficult to identify due to the amount of armour they wear, Patroclop was able to see that this colt was about his height, and seemed to be about his age. Also young for the tournament. He looked to be a bit less sturdy than Patroclop, though. He was covered in the Ponea dark red combatant armour, as Patroclop was in the blue. As expected, Kinba had a bo-staff on his back. Kinba reached around his back with his head and grabbed it in his mouth.

Patroclop brought his mouth down to his sheath, and took out his sword. Many years ago, unicorns managed to invent handles for items to be held in a pony’s mouth. These handles were crafted around a pony’s own teeth, and allowed the item to be held firmly, horizontally, or even out in front of the pony. Therefore, Patroclop could hold his sword to the right, to the left or with the end straight out in front of him.

But Kinba had his staff hanging from his right and his left, due to its length. Ponies develop a technique when they fight with weapons to change how they hold the weapon rapidly by moving it in their mouth, using their tongue and turning momentum. Patroclop had his blade out to hi right to begin this fight. Both ponies were about two metres away from each other, before the announcer started the match.

“BEGIN!” the announcer shouted.

Patroclop and Kinba began walking around in clockwise circles, eyes on each other the whole time, waiting for the other to make the first move. Patroclop suddenly began focused into the fight; he remembered how big this was, and he didn’t want to embarrass himself by being distracted.

Patroclop and Kinba started galloping towards each other at about the same time. Kinba extended his staff further to his right side, bounced to the side and whacked Patroclop across the head with it, just as Patroclop was getting ready to attack. The Ponea section of the audience gave an especially large cheer, seeming certain that their side had won this battle after such a hit to the head.

The shock of the counter attack sent Patroclop to the ground, letting Kinba poke him a few more times to impress the judges before Patroclop rolled away on his side and stood up. He wasn’t used to fighting people with a much longer weapon than his, and he was much more used to close-range fighting.

Kinba went for another horizontal hit from the right with his staff, but this time Patroclop blocked it with his sword. It bounced back further than expected, as Kinba wasn’t holding it in a stable position, due to holding the staff far from its centre. Knowing that he had the weight advantage, Patroclop rammed into Kinba in this unstable state, knocking him to the ground and giving Patroclop a chance to stomp on his unprotected snout. Kinba yet out a whelp of pain, jerking his head back and releasing his staff, as Patroclop sliced through the armour underneath Kinba’s neck. Kinba then let out a growl, turned onto his back and kicked Patroclop off with his two back legs. Patroclop shot high into the air and fell on his side.

He then took a few seconds to think. Due to the power of that kick, even in heavy armour, it seemed obvious that Kinba was one of the Rashu-Atsu; some of their members sometimes join the Ponea side of this competition, so Patroclop guessed that he was probably facing one now. Although Kinba seemed speedy and strong, Patroclop thought to himself, he doesn’t seem that sturdy. Patroclop needed to overpower him in order to win.

Patroclop got up just as Kinba did, after Kinba picked up his staff, and they charged at each other once again, leading to a excited cheer from the audience. Patroclop was especially wary of the staff this time. But, to his surprise, just as he was approaching Kinba, Kinba manoeuvred his bo-staff to be solely hanging from the right side of his mouth, jumped into the air and pressed the other. end of the bo-staff against the ground. Patroclop’s charged right past Kinba, who was now falling down to a much more stable position behind Patroclop. Patroclop stopped his charge as soon as he noticed this, leaving his flank open to a powerful sweep from Kinba’s bo-staff. Kinba ran up to Patroclop on the ground. “Payback!” he sneered, as he gave Patroclop a very high-powered stomp to his snout, making him drop his sword. Patroclop yelled out in pain, and Kinba stomped on his snout again. Blood began gushing from Patroclop’s snout. Patroclop rolled onto his four legs, staying low, and slammed into Kinba, just as he was coming in with another staff strike. Kinba skidded back on the ground, but was able to maintain balance using his staff.

Patroclop began to fill with passion; the passion he always got when in an intense fight. And this was his most important fight yet.

As the two were fairly far away from each other now, they began moving around in a circle again, keeping complete focus on their opponent, thinking. Kinba now manoeuvred the staff so that most of it was coming out of the left side of his mouth. Due to this breathing space, Patroclop realized what he had to do to win this.

Patroclop charged again, making Kinba smile, due to Patroclop never having pulled off a charge thus far. As Patroclop was getting near, and Kinba was about to move his staff to do something, Patroclop threw his sword up into the air with his mouth. This ruined Kinba’s concentration, as he immediately went to look at the sword in case of a trick. Patroclop used this opportunity to grab Kinba’s staff. Patroclop used his superior strength and better hold of the staff to force down Kinba. Kinba was forced to release his grip and Patroclop threw his staff far into the audience, leaving both fighters unarmed. Patroclop stomped on Kinba’s snout once again, making Kinba yelp and giving Patroclop time to grab his nearby sword. He picked it up from the ground and held it at the downed Kinba’s face.

A buzzer went off from the judge’s box, signalling the end of the match, making the Equestria fans roar in excitement. It was obvious who the winner was after Patroclop’s display.

“Well, this was an… interesting fight” the announcer started, “We haven’t seen a fight such as this, where a combatant let go of his own weapon to disarm another!”.

The announcer then walked into the judge’s box for about five seconds, and came out with a result.

“And the winner, by a very… interesting occurrence, is…. PATROCLOP OF EQUESTRIA!!!”.

The fans of Equestria were roaring even louder, as Patroclop turned to Celestia, and bowed. But, even though he saw her applause, he was suddenly alarmed.

Patroclop could see a shadow of a Pegasus directly above Celestia and Konub. It flew down at great speed towards Celestia. He began to make out the pony’s features; a grey Pegasus, with a mane of blonde hair. As it approached Celestia, it bent its knees forward slightly. This caused an odd mechanism on the pony’s front two legs to activate, causing katars to come from the mechanism, and hang out under the pony’s hooves. Allowing them to be used as weapons.

Before Patroclop had a chance to shout, it was already hovering in front of Celestia. Celestia or the guards had no time to react as the Pegasus gave a horizontal slash across Celestia’s face with its front-left leg, slashing through her right eye and cheek. It then trusted the three katars on its right leg into Celestia’s throat. The guards all dived towards the Pegasus, with their swords out, but the Pegasus was somehow able to manoeuvre itself through all of the sword attacks, by bending its limbs and spine at very odd angles. The Pegasus easily slipped out, and flew out of the arena.

Screams were heard all around the arena. The Pegasi of Celestia’s guard tore out of the arena to find the Pegasus a few seconds after it left. They returned almost immediately, with no sighting of it.

Almost all of the Equestria citizens were in tears. The citizens of Ponea were also horrified, but most of them ran out of the arena, while the Equestria citizens stayed to mourn. Konub seemed shocked for a few seconds; but then quickly left his seat, and left the arena with an escort of guards.

Patroclop was stuck to the spot, barely breathing from the shock, with a feeling that dark times were to come.

Chapter 3

On the most miserable day of Equestrian history, the Red Mare docked at Herring Port. It was a very stormy afternoon, with dark grey clouds covering the sky, almost stopping all sunlight from coming in, and heavy rain falling. Ismay, a short, dark green colt with a dark yellow mane, walked into his captain’s quarters to give him news of the arrival. As he was walking into the inside of the ship, he looked towards the land to see something very unusual. Ismay walked into Hoovantes’ chambers, to see him warming himself by the fire.

“Captain” Ismay said, “We’ve managed to dock at Herring as planned. But something odd has happened…”.

“Odd?” Hoovantes said with his usual sharp tongue, “This weather wasn’t forecasted today! I have no idea what those Pegasi are doing up there, but this is ridiculous!”.

Ismay didn’t like to hear Hoovantes shout. Although Ismay had been his first mate for many years, Hoovantes still terrified him. Hoovantes was a particularly tall colt, dark grey in colour and with a light grey goatee. He wore a rather large, red pirate captain’s hat, which reminded his men of his superiority. The hat also had a hole for his large, mighty horn to stick through.

“That’s not what I’m talking about, Captain” Ismay replied, There appears to be… um… two ponies waiting outside the ship, both covered in their own black cloaks”.

Hoovantes looked at Ismay oddly for a moment.

“Well, that is odd” Hoovantes said, “I don’t remember making enemies with anypony wearing a black cloak. Is there no-one else in the town?”.

“There seems not to be, Captain” Ismay replied, “It’s Celestia’s funeral today. Just about everypony has gone to Canterlot to mourn. That’s probably why the Pegasi made it so wet, also, so it’d be a sign of their respect for her passing”.

Hoovantes stood up impatiently and walked onto the ships’ deck to investigate with Ismay. The two ponies were still down there; one male and one female, if their sizes under their robes were to be compared. Ismay was about to suggest to Hoovantes to not call them, but he began to anyway.
“Hey, you two!” Hoovantes shouted down, “What’s your business here?”

“I take it you’re Hoovantes?” the male asked, looking up at him from below. “We’re here to make a… deal with you. There’ll be a lot of wealth in it for you”.

Hoovantes’ eyes glowed. “Well, what are you waiting for?” he asked Ismay, “Escort them onboard! I’ll be in my chambers!”.

Ismay went off the ship and motioned for the two ponies to follow him. They did, without a word, until they arrived inside Hoovantes’ chambers. Hoovantes had quietly called a lot of his men inside for an ambush, as they often do with noblemen looking to make deals. As soon as the two cloaked ponies entered, five other pirates came from behind them, pushing them into the room.

“Now” Hoovantes sneered, “What makes you think you can walk onto my ship, and offer me a deal?”.

“Well, if you dared attack us” the cloaked colt sneered back, “I’d have my friend here kill you”.

Ismay watched, feeling worried about these mysterious people as Hoovantes laughed in the colt’s face.

“I think all of us will be able to kill you two quite easily” Hoovantes replied, “No matter how good of a fighter your friend is”.

The colt sighed.

“Volderp, kindly show him what you can do” he said calmly, “Have your men try to stop her from getting to you, alright?”.

Hoovantes nodded at Ismay, signalling to the pirates to do what the colt said. The smaller pony took off her cowl, to reveal a very odd looking pony. Ismay examined it thoroughly for the short time he had to look at it. It was a grey Pegasus, with a light yellow mane and seriously displaced eyes. The right seemed to be looking up as the left was looking down. Ismay also looked to its front knees to see an odd mechanism on each of them; with katars hanging out of them.
Volderp started walking slowly towards Hoovantes, as his pirates surrounded him, with Pegasi pirates flying above him to avoid an aerial attack. Ismay sat back to watch the proceedings. She walked up to the wall of pirates, and they took out their swords. As they lunged towards her, with their swords in their mouths, Ismay saw Volderp begin to lift off of the ground and start hovering with her wings. She began to bend her limbs and spine in very odd directions, and miraculously manoeuvred through the pirates. She then bent her right knee, activating the mechanism, aiming her katars on her right leg at Hoovantes’ face.

“Off me!” he shouted, and all of the pirates and Volderp went away, Volderp returning to her master’s side.

“I hope you now see that we’re on equal terms here” the colt sneered, “If you try to kill us, Volderp will kill you, and you will not be able to save yourself”.

Hoovantes grinned. “I admire your skills, Volderp” he said laughing, “I always like to see a good warrior, even though I’ve killed almost all of the ones I’ve seen before you. So, then, what’s your business here?”.

“I am a pony of significant importance from Ponea” the hooded colt replied, “And I believe a war is about to break out. The Equestrians will, no doubt, blame us for Celestia’s assassination; which they are right to.

“Anyway, we need your assistance. Odds are that they’ll try to enter Ponea through Goldrow River. I am asking you, Hoovantes, to be ready for them there when they come, attack them from surprise, and destroy as many of them as you think you can”.

Ismay felt unnerved by this idea. They had never tried to halt a whole army before, and he wasn’t sure if they’d be able to pull it off. Hoovantes was a legendary warrior, but he wasn’t known for his intelligence. Ismay did most of the work with organizing the men, but he wouldn’t dare to ever say that Hoovantes was wrong about anything, as that led to a punishment of death for the majority of men.

“Interesting” Hoovantes replied, “I have no love for Equestria, anyway. I’d be happy to help out…. Depending on the amount of payment, of course”.
“We are offering you fifty tonnes of pure gold for every one of their ponies you kill” the hooded colt replied, “You’ll be one of the richest ponies in existence, if you pull this off. The dead ponies count as ones we kill, too, as long as they’re within a mile of the bridge and you have engaged them”.

Ismay put his hoof on his face as he saw Hoovantes smile widely. Ismay knew that there was no possible way that even Ponea could offer so much gold. It’d be an insane amount of wealth to give, even if they could possibly have that amount of gold. But Hoovantes’ greed had a habit of blinding him. These ponies also seemed very untrustworthy to Ismay. The assassin looked too odd to be just a normal pony. Ismay felt that there was something else to her.

“Hmm….” Hoovantes said, pretending to think deeply. Ismay knew this as his tactic to get more money out of people. “Make it 6 tonnes per pony killed, and you have a deal”.

“Fine” the cloaked colt replied, with a dark happiness in his voice, “I’m sure my associates in Ponea would agree with that.

“Now, if you want to do this most efficiently, I suggest you arrive at the river during-”

“You done talkin’ yet?” Hoovantes snapped, interrupting the colt’s instructions, “You have my word that I’ll pull it off to the best of my ability. You have no reason to worry, at all. I’m a fantastic strategist, and I’ll be able to organize my attack by itself, thank you very much”.

“So, I guess I’ll be on my way, then” the colt replied calmly, “Good day, Hoovantes. Volderp, follow”.

They left the ship and returned to land, but the men started whispering to each other about what they were doing. Many of them were from Equestria, and Ismay realized that they must be quite unnerved.

“Well, what are you waiting for?” Hoovantes shouted, “Start unloading the goods as planned! We have deadlines to meet!”.

The man scurried down to the hold, where their ill-gotten goods were kept.

“Now” Hoovantes said to Ismay, “Start drawing up the plans for the attack on the river. I don’t feel like doing it myself”.