Chapters Yes, This is a Prologue Once More, With Feeling Giving the Rundown A Meal, a Show, and Some Knowledge for Dessert Moving Day Fittings for Fancy Duds YOUR BRAND NEW HOUSE!!! I'm Dreaming of a Big Cheeseburger Whatever Happened to the Good Olde Days? Problems and Their Weird Little Solutions Kickstart My Heart (And Brain) A Facepalmingly Good Time Sweet Dreams Are Made of This The Good, The Bad, and What I Was Wearing Getting the Run Around When It's Time to Party We Will Party Hard I Just Forgot, That's All Clearing the Cobwebs From Point A to Point Ugh Fun and Games Until You Go Home I'm Back in the Saddle Again Lots of Kinks to Work Out Moving On Up Well, My Dad Was a Farmer Don't Be So Serious I Gotta do What Now? Old Dog Learning New Tricks Get Me Off This Crazy Train! Can I Get a Handout? Nothing is Going Like I Thought it Would Moving Right Along... Slowly... And Now We Go Live to... Meet and Greet; However Short All the Classics I Care About Oh, I've Got the Music in Me Alright Winter- I Mean Plot is Coming Wake Me When It's Over Powers are Complicated Round Robin I Fought the Law and We Tied Get in the Zone The Prophecy was Fulfilled Can't Run From Every Fight What Just Happened? Don't Feel Quite Like Myself They Call Him Jack The Eye Guy Canon Fire Power Failure The Ghost of Admiral Ackbar What Really Grinds My Gears Oi, This Guy Mistakes Have Been Made Oh God Why Did I Write This? Getting Over Your Own Stupidity Ya Gotta Do What Ya Gotta Do Welcome to the Show Rewriting History For Me On the Fly Hannibal Style Planning Is This the Real Life? Is This Just Fantasy? Power Levels are Bullshit Happy Endings or New Beginnings? Captain Anti-Climax Double You Tee Eff Polish Your Skills Can't Say Goodbye Epilogue - Friendship is Magic Cause, Effect, and Consequences
Celestia sat upon her throne watching as the late afternoon sun bathed the room in a lovely deep orange hue. She was quite satisfied with the turn of events that had taken place today. After all, today was the day that the Equestrian Royal Summit had been held and things couldn’t have gone better. Plus, there was the good news about Discord. Things had gone just as she had hoped. Discord was truly reformed.
“You know what?” she heard someone ask. “I’m a little surprised about a few things.”
She looked to her right to where the voice was coming from. As she had actually expected, Discord was standing there. However, he was for some unknown reason a foot tall and in black and white.
“There are a few things in which I am also surprised about,” she replied. “However, I do not believe that they are the same things that you are surprised about.”
“How about I start things off then? First of all, why did you leave the Elements with them and say that they were there ‘just in case’?” he asked in air quotes.
“I merely said that in order to keep up appearances,” she answered calmly. “They are unaware of what transpired while you were on Earth. In fact, they do not know that you were on Earth at all.”
“So you didn’t divulge the little secret about what happened after all?”
“It was his idea. Trust is not something that one gives too freely after all. It usually requires much work to obtain and can be quite fragile if trampled upon once before.”
Discord teleported from his spot to directly in front of Celestia and in his normal appearance.
“I suppose that is true,” he said while offhandedly checking the talons on his claw. “Is that why you waited so long to let me out?”
“It is indeed. That day weighed heavily on their minds for quite a while. Even though he had only been here for a few weeks, his presence opened a new door for them. It made them aware of their own importance and the impact that they had on others.”
“Then I take it that they are aware that this world is made in the image of a television show,” he asked with a bit of apprehension.
“You, the six of them, my sister, and I are the only ones who know about this. My sister took it hardest of all to be sure, but she came to accept it in time.”
“Yet, despite not knowing about what had become of him, they made no mention at all of it when they were around me. It is as if they don’t remember him at all,” he stated as he started to float in a relaxed manner while in the air despite his tone of voice.
“I was unsure of this development as well. For some reason, it seems as though unless my sister or I mention him, they seem to be incapable of remembering him of their own accord. The same holds true for anypony who gazed upon him at any time. In fact, it seems even worse in their instances.”
“It is curious indeed. It’s almost as if the world is trying to make everypony forget about him on purpose.”
“I came to the same conclusion as well. Therefore, I have not pressed the issue past a few attempts with memory spells. Though it does raise a few other questions like how they remember that their lives are a television show if he was the one that told them about it to begin with. Yet another question I have is that in the letter he wrote, it says that he does not have a way to return to Equestria. Is this true?”
“For the most part, yes it is true,” he said and closed his eyes. “The route between this world and his is actually much tougher to get to than any other. In fact, his world seems to be an island amongst the ocean of the multiverse.”
To emphasize his point, he snapped his fingers and stepped aside as an image appeared in the middle of the throne room. In it, there was a tiny speck of land with a single palm tree that was surrounded by water. In it, the tree and the water had a cartoony effect that made the tree sway and the water looked like waves bouncing from side to side.
“To stay with that analogy, in order for us to go to most other universes, it is more like swimming across a lake. It will be a bit tiring, but with some effort it is quite capable for us to do. For his world, there is basically no way you can swim across it without having an insane amount of endurance. It’s probably the reason why they can see things from other universes, in one form or another, but nothing goes to or from it.”
“That is another problem. How was it that you were able to send yourself back here and Seth was unable to do so?” Celestia asked inquisitively.
“The spell which was contained inside the coin was enhanced by the Elements of Harmony. However, the trip to his world was actually easier than going from there. To get him to Equestria, I used all but a speck of the magic power I had acquired and stored up while stranded on Earth and funneled it into the coin. I then sent him to Equestria with the spell I had learned on that auspicious day that sent me there in the first place. There was only a few sparks of magic left in the coin after that. That magic was divided between him and the coin.”
Discord snapped his fingers again. The image of the cartoony ocean disappeared. In its place, a dark and foreboding forest appeared.
“For that reason, I sent him specifically to the Everfree Forest. In order to recharge the newly bestowed magic they had both been given, the naturally chaotic state of the Everfree Forest would effortlessly restore the chaotic magic that they contained within them. I had told him that if he kept using the magic I gave him, then eventually it would run out unless it was recharged through acts of chaos. For the most part, that is true. Well, true for him anyway. It isn’t the same for me. Once my magic is restored, I can then store excess magic generated via chaos to amplify my own abilities.
“Still, the Everfree Forest is one of two places on this planet that he could naturally recharge the magic I gave him. About eight hours there, and his magic would be restored if near zero in a worst case scenario. Unlike me, though, his body has a limit to how much magic he can contain. That is why no matter how much he tried, he could never contain the necessary magic required to move between his world and ours. Even when I resorbed my magic from him, it took that energy coupled with the chaotic and harmonious magic within the coin and a quick trip to a chaotic area to gain some more energy to bring me back here. When I got back to Equestria, I was pretty much tapped out. Considering that his body is in worse shape than mine and not inherently magical to begin with, I highly doubt that he could make the trip intact. There was also the fact that only one of us could return anyway. Since that was his home, I decided to be the one to leave.”
Celestia thought about this for a few moments. While doing so, Discord snapped his fingers and the image disappeared and the throne room returned to normal.
“What you are saying is that you were unable to bring the both of you back because you lacked the power to do so?”
“I’m pretty sure that’s what I just told you,” he said while pitching himself forward to look her in the eyes while hanging in the air. “Even with you, me, your sister and the Elements working together and locking onto the coin as an anchor point, we’d still be an alicorn and a half shy of the power we would need to not only get there, but also to get back.”
Celestia smirked at hearing that.
“So what you are saying is that we are one alicorn shy of returning him here?”
Discord planted himself back on the floor with his hands on his hips directly in front of Celestia.
“Didn’t you hear me? I said we are an alicorn and a half shy.”
Celestia’s smirk blossomed into a full-blown smile.
“Perhaps it is time to fill you in on a few secrets that you probably are not aware of.”
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
Most people think time is like a river; flowing swift and sure in one direction. But I have seen the true face of time. Time is like an ocean in a storm. These words were not mine. These words are said twice by the protagonist of the Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time series. However, a year ago I found that these words made more sense to me as I became part of a larger scheme.
A year ago, I was whisked away from my normal life by a being known as Discord. He sent me on a journey into the world of fiction known as My Little Pony. Despite the bad things that happened, it was the best time that I ever had. There was no doubt that was the truth.
In the year since, however, nothing had gone right. A week after I had returned, I was fired from my job. Two months later, I had to move back in with my mother. Four months after that, I was broke and had to fully rely on her despite wanting to make it on my own. And then, another four months and my car, the last remaining valuable thing I had left, was crashed into outside while I was asleep. The dripping irony of it was that the person who hit it had a medical emergency due to his diabetes; something I was having trouble with.
That’s where I’m at today. One year has passed and I’m just here sitting on the edge of my couch with “Remember Everything” by Five Finger Death Punch playing off of the radio station website on my computer. The only thing I have the energy to do is look at the coin I received from Discord. When he had returned to Equestria, the coin had ended up remaining in my possession. It was the only tangible proof that let me know that my time there had really, truly happened. Somehow, its appearance changed quite drastically without the magic inside of it.
I had become pretty depressed since then. Not suicidally depressed, but just a normal kind of depressed. It was the kind of depressed where you just don’t want to do things unless you have to. Well, either that or I was terminally apathetic.
Of course, that was when the line I connected to most played.
“It’s a long and lonely road,
Unlike all the other times I had heard it and it made me think of the plight of Ryouga Hibiki, this time it made me think back to Celestia’s words. She was right. I had no real friends. No one I knew had even talked or texted me whatsoever in the last eight months other than my immediate family. I even thought about what I had written her in the farewell letter. Sure, I loved my family. They loved me too. I was even happy about hearing that my youngest sister had become pregnant. However, no matter how much I cared for them, and they for me, to me it just felt like I was a burden to them.
The only thing that helped me feel better was watching programs. Anime mostly, but I also watched MLP too. Just because I had been there, it didn’t mean that I was no longer interested in what happened. Of course, since then there was only a half season of episodes on the internet than there was compared to the previous two seasons. Still, I watched every episode with great interest.
I saw the two-part season opener. It made me realize what exactly Discord was talking about when he had dropped those not so subtle hints about something occurring to the north. I watched as they freed Discord from his stone prison. It seemed that Celestia had taken my advice about getting Fluttershy to ‘reform’ him to heart. Then, I saw how Twilight had become an alicorn just as Celestia had talked about. It made me feel a bit better to see that. I felt a bit proud about what she had accomplished. Yeah, I had nothing to do with it, but it’s that feeling you get when someone you know does something impressive and you just get that feeling of ‘I knew her before she became this’, kind of like the time my cousin 'Wolf' had appeared on American Idol.
Then again, it was a lie. I knew her about as well as any other brony would. Heck, I bet well over half of the brony community knows more about her than I do. The only difference between them and me was actually that I met her face to face and I bet that would have actually gone smoother with them than what I had happen.
As the radio station changed to a different song, I couldn’t help but think about that episode where they let Discord out. They mentioned all the things that he had done. I wasn’t among them at all. It’s possible that it may have been cut to remove that. It still left a stinging sensation, though, that I wasn’t even on the list of things that Discord did wrong when he shouldn’t have. It almost felt like they had forgotten about me on purpose.
I mentally shook that thought away. It was ridiculous, after all. However, it did make me wonder if some other force had made them forget. It would make sense. Those girls aren’t exactly callous by nature. Of course, I might have just gone to an alternate universe version and that would make a much better explanation. There was that Dark Titans universe that I went to that had no mention of me in it either. Then again, that sucker rarely updated anyway.
To me, the most stunning revelation was about the stories that I had been in and found out about by crazy circumstances. The three stories that I hadn’t known about before had materialized on the internet in the year since I had been there. One even went so far as to show the adamantium bar I had left to the human in Equestria and even the exact contents of the note that I had left him. To say that it freaked me out was an understatement. I’m pretty sure I reread each of those stories over thirty times just to try to get it to sink in.
All of this was on my mind as I just simply sat there in my usual sleeveless shirt and thin pants combo. Of course, this time I was wearing some shoes and socks since I had gotten back from turning in a couple of job applications. I thought about turning on the t.v. to watch something, but with the computer throwing out songs it seemed like a dumb idea.
Ugh, there was also the fact that my left eye kept twitching like crazy. It was really getting on my nerves. It had been like that for the past month and I didn’t know what was causing it. I had my doctor’s appointment next week so I decided to wait it out, but that was rapidly becoming a more annoying thing. I guess it was probably feeling worse than usual since it was one year to the day since I had been sent to Equestria and I was probably quite hung up about it.
Is any part of that important? I doubt it is. I just feel like venting it out. There isn’t anyone I feel like telling any of this to anyway. I just feel like screaming it into the air, but it’s nighttime and I don’t think anyone would appreciate me waking them up when they have actual things that they have to do.
I leaned back into the couch as the radio finished its current song and started in on a commercial break. I looked down to my old camera sitting on the armrest of the couch. Why did I even have that out there? As a matter of fact, why did I still have a camera that used film anyway? A stupid question. I have it because I have no money to get a decent digital camera.
I leaned my head back onto the headrest and sighed while gripping the coin tightly. I brought my arm up to look at my watch. It read 11:59 p.m. Now I was just bored. I was bored with thinking about this. I was bored with missing the ponies. I was bored of having to live a life that I just couldn’t see very much value in. Damn it, I really sounded like an emo bitch.
“I really need something interesting to happen,” I said aloud while pocketing my coin.
“I believe I can accommodate you with that,” a voice replied.
I jumped to my feet and looked around for the source of the voice. I didn’t see anyone around, but I knew I had heard a voice. It was a familiar voice. One I couldn’t quite put my finger on.
“You can?” I asked trying to find the source of the voice audibly.
“Well of course I can my dear boy! You and I have had several interesting encounters. Each one of them has left an impression on you and they were never dull.”
It clicked right then. My life was incredibly bland and there was only one person to ever leave an impression on me like that.
“An impression huh? I’m pretty sure you made more than an impression on me when you ran me through with a sword, Discord.”
His name said aloud, Discord swirled into existence in the air in front of me. Literally, he swirled like water going down a drain only in reverse to materialize himself.
“Oh please, I’ve already apologized for that.”
“Yeah, I remember. I also remember you saying that you could never come back here again. Were you lying?”
Discord dropped down to the floor barely missing the coffee table in the middle of the room. I was pretty surprised that his horns weren’t hitting the fan on the ceiling. He seemed to not even regard it in the slightest as he continued.
“I said I couldn’t and that was true. However, things have changed. Changes that have happened quite recently in fact.”
“Would those changes include an alicorn Twilight?” I asked knowing that was probably a good assumption to go on.
“Well, I see you’ve been keeping up with things thanks to keeping an eye on us.”
“Just because I wasn’t there anymore doesn’t mean that I suddenly don’t care about any of you. By the way, how long ago was her coronation ceremony?”
“Exactly a week ago if you must know,” Discord answered dully.
“Wait, I thought that time was really messed up between here and Equestria.”
“We tried to synch up the two dimensions as much as possible. It took quite a bit of work to make it that way, which reminds me that we don’t have a lot of time to be talking like this. I have only ten minutes or so until I get dragged back through the tunnel to Equestria. Celestia and I have been concerned about you. Well, Celestia more than myself to be sure. We have decided to see if you wanted to stay here on Earth or if you wanted to come back with me to Equestria and live there.”
At that point, I think I put on a Pinkie grade, ear to ear grin. Discord matched it with one of his own.
“I believe I don’t have to ask you your choice. You have a few minutes before we leave. If you want to do anything before you leave, now would be the time to do it.”
I thought about it quickly. Probably more quickly than I should have. Yeah, I wanted to go, but I needed to think of what to bring and what to leave. I needed to leave a note saying where I went. Sure I doubt they would believe me, but at least I should be honest.
More importantly, I needed to know what I should bring. Well, something to do should be on that list. Last time I was there, I got bored pretty easily with nothing for me to do. I ran out of the room, through the garage, and into my room. I took a few steps in and looked to see if there was anything I would want.
Unsure of what would happen; I grabbed several things and put them in my pockets. I grabbed my Nintendo DS and some of the games for it. Sure, I couldn’t recharge it since Equestria lacked electricity, but I had a full charge for once and hoped that someone could figure out a way to recharge it in the meantime. I grabbed a few decks of cards. Sure they didn’t look at all alike, but there are a few games I know that require more than one deck. I grabbed my nail clippers. My nails grow fast and the clippers were small and non-electric so it was a good decision I think. I pocketed those and grabbed something I didn’t think I would; my stuffed teddy bear, Oatmeal. I’d had him since before I was a year old. I don’t know why I did it, but it just happened. I then grabbed an unused toothbrush and some toothpaste and went back inside the living room.
“You’ve got maybe two minutes left,” Discord prattled out while looking at his claws. “You’d better huuuurryyyyyy.”
I looked once more around the room to see if there was anything else to bring. I saw my replica Indiana Jones hat and promptly scooped it up and placed it on my head. I then walked to the table and grabbed a paper and pen and quickly scribbled a note letting anyone know where I was going. Finally, I scooped up my camera since this time if I got hosed into coming back, then I at least wanted some pictures of my time there and maybe then I wouldn’t be so depressed when I got back. As an afterthought, I pocketed a spare roll of film as well.
“Time’s up!” Discord half yelled.
“Shhh!” I said as I brought my finger to my lips. “I have family sleeping upstairs!” I yelled using only a whispered voice as I walked around the couch to where Discord was standing.
“Oh now don’t be such a downer,” Discord replied. “Come and take my paw,” he stated as he reached out with his lion paw-like hand.
With less hesitation that I feel I should have had given who this was, I reached out and grabbed his paw with my hand. As we both gripped each other, a sort of tingly sensation started to work its way through my hand and up my arm. I looked down to it as the sensation had already gotten past my elbow.
“Don’t worry about that my dear boy. I’m merely once again fusing a tiny portion of my magic into your body. Not as much as last time since I’ve already used up quite a bit, but enough that your body won’t be ripped to shreds along the way.”
“Believe me, I appreciate that immensely,” I said as the tingling sensation finished running throughout my entire body.
“If I feel that you’re worthy of it, I may give you more of it back,” he almost cooed at me.
“I’m not sure how I should feel about that,” I said defensively. “Let’s just get there and see about things after that.”
“A reasonable argument, I suppose. How boring. Let’s just go already,” he sighed dejectedly.
The tingling sensation disappeared and was replaced by a lurching sensation. It felt as though the room was tilting on a different axis. The lurching sensation was then changed into a pulling sensation. The pulling sensation kept getting stronger and stronger with each passing moment. Right as it started to hurt, everything started to blur around me and we were no longer in the same room. Instead, we were traveling down a long, bright tunnel. It was a tunnel I recognized pretty quickly as the same one I went to Equestria through in the first place only it was really loud.
I wondered why this one way was different than every other time I had traveled to other dimensions. Every other time had been a quick flash and some slight disorientation mixed in with a little temporary blindness. Even when I traveled back to my own home the first time, it didn’t have this little fancy effect to it. It was only when I traveled this one way.
“In case you’re wondering,” Discord yelled, “this isn’t the same tunnel I sent you through the first time we met. This one was created in a very different fashion. In fact the first time I sent you through was with my own magic and not by using the coin.”
Well, I guess he sort of answered my unspoken question.
I wasn’t exactly how long I was in that tunnel of light. It felt like quite a while and yet it felt like barely a moment at all. However, the time came quickly enough that I spotted a difference in it that I assumed was the end. Soon enough, the both of us went through the end of that tunnel and while I was sure he simply stepped out from the brief moment I spent looking his way, I went tumbling out onto the stone tiled floor.
“Discord! What did you do!?!” a feminine voice cried out.
I wasn’t sure who said it, but it made me look around to see who was there. It was pretty much everybody. Both of the princesses were there, as was the Mane Six wearing their elements. Discord was standing calmly despite the outburst, but surprisingly he was standing behind Shining Armor and Cadence, whom I had just noticed, to the point that it seemed like they would protect him from something.
“Well, I thought that it would be amusing to be perfectly honest,” he retorted.
Pretty much everyone there other than me gave him a piercing glare. Then, as one, they all yelled at him; some in the Royal Canterlot Voice.
“WE ARE NOT AMUSED!!!”
Hearing that, I couldn’t help but start laughing.
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
I laughed for what seemed like a good amount of time before I felt the heat of the ponies’ stares upon me. My laughing simmered down quickly and then died altogether as I looked up at all the ponies looking back at me. I could tell that this would be pretty awkward.
At least until I noticed Pinkie Pie also getting her chuckles under control as well. Those made me feel better.
“Though the circumstances are not what I was expecting, I happily welcome you back to Equestria Seth,” said Celestia; trying to get things back under control.
“Thanks, though I get the feeling that you guys weren’t quite ready for me to come back yet.”
“Indeed we were not. I hope that you do not think that you are unwelcome here.”
“No, not really, no,” I said a little nervously.
“Simply put,” Celestia said in an almost half-hearted tone, “we were originally to have Discord ascertain the situation back on Earth and then consult with us as to whether or not we should bring you back here.”
“I simply thought that the best way to do that was to ask him. He seemed to jump at the opportunity to come here.”
“It’s true,” I added haphazardly.
Celestia quickly gave me a stern gaze.
“Sorry,” I said; knowing that I wasn’t helping anyone out.
“Though his methods were not what we asked of him, Discord still did make sure to ask you if you wanted to come back, correct?”
“Yeah, he did. Things were complicated and I felt like coming here would be worth the trip.”
“Would thou care to elaborate?” asked Luna.
“Maaaaybe later,” I said evasively. “Right now, I‘d rather do some catching up with everyone.”
“Who all does this fella know ‘round here?” asked Applejack.
My heart pretty much sank when I heard those words. I’m pretty sure Celestia saw that and took the initiative.
“My sister and I to name a few. I do believe that he should catch up with us, but in the meantime it is getting late so we should prepare a room for him while he is here.”
She then turned to the others.
“Thank you all for your help with this matter today. You are all free to stay the night here in the castle as I have already prepared rooms for you and you may return home tomorrow. For now, we would like to talk with Seth in private if you would not mind too terribly.”
I was watching the group of six and I could tell that a few of them were uneasy at hearing this. Twilight especially seemed like she wanted to voice an opinion on the matter, but held her tongue. Cadence and Shining Armor walked over to them as they left the room. I couldn’t hear what they were saying as they left.
“Please wait Discord," stated Luna. "We would like you to stay to discuss another matter.”
“Oh, you’re no fun,” Discord said in a huff.
“Our idea of fun has always been different from yours. However, this is important.”
As soon as the doors to the throne room closed, both Celestia and Luna walked down from their thrones and up to where Discord and I were standing.
“I am afraid there is something I must tell you,” Celestia began. “Unfortunately, none of the girls, nor anypony else for that matter, seem to be capable of remembering you other than those of us in this room. Even discussing you can only seem to bring a brief spark of memory of you that fades away soon afterwards. I am unsure of how to make them remember.”
Despite having thought about that exact situation, it still hit me hard.
“What about that memory spell?” I asked. “I’ve seen Twilight use it before.”
“We have tried using that spell,” Luna replied. “However, it seems to work only temporarily. Not only that, the effects lessen each time we tried to use it. Twilight seems to be the least affected and we believe that it is because she is an alicorn. Even so, there does not seem to be much difference.”
“You know,” I replied, “this is one of those things where you think about this happening, but can’t believe it when it does. This is just the kind of thing Pinkie Pie was worried about when Rainbow Dash went off to the Wonderbolts academy in that episode of the same name. I think had the same name anyway. Still, how could this have happened?”
“We are unsure,” Celestia answered. “It happened more swiftly with others than those you made a connection with. I believe, as does my sister, that the more time you spent with somepony, the longer it took to fade away.”
“All that tells me is one of the factors of degradation. It’s not really why or how.”
“We understand this,” Celestia countered. “However, with your appearance here perhaps we have a most fortuitous opportunity to possibly determine the answers to these questions.”
“Um, I’m not quite sure I follow you.”
“UGH!!! This is getting boring!” yelled out Discord. “Why am I here again? You could just as easily tell him these things without me here becoming increasingly bored by the second!”
“Seth’s return here is your responsibility now, Discord,” Celestia answered. “As such, as long as he is here, he will remain as your responsibility. That means if he does end up getting in trouble despite himself, you will be held accountable.”
“You make it sound like I’m going to get into trouble on purpose somehow.”
“Do I need to remind you of the explosion you caused outside of Ponyville?” Celestia explained. “Better yet, perhaps I should mention the transformation of all of the citizens of Ponyville instead?”
“Point made,” I said dejectedly.
“I am glad to hear that. Now, I must prepare to end the day and let the night begin. Instruct the guard outside to show you to a room that will be provided for your use during your stay. We will discuss your arrangements in Equestria in more detail tomorrow once we have had the time to properly assess this matter.”
Celestia then placed her hoof on my shoulder and smiled.
“Again, despite the circumstances, I am glad to see you once more.”
I placed my hand over her hoof.
“Like I said, I’m glad to be back.”
Once she removed her hoof, I looked around for anything that I might have dropped and then proceeded to exit the throne room. Outside, I was about to inform the guards about what the princesses told me. However, waiting outside for me was actually Shining Armor and Cadence.
“Um… Hi there,” I said; unfortunately not finding the words to address them like I should have.
“I’m not sure why the princesses trust you so much,” Shining Armor began while staring sternly into my eyes, “but I certainly don’t like it. They’re giving you quite a bit of leeway and though I don't like it I won’t press the issue. Just don’t think I won’t be keeping my eye on you while you’re here.”
I half expected Cadence to interrupt him or something to happen, but nothing did happen.
“Well,” I responded, “that’s your prerogative I suppose.”
He simply snorted at my response and continued on.
“Anyways, the princesses probably have stated that they want to give you a room for the night. Am I right?”
“Uh, yeah, that’s right.”
“I’ll go ahead and show you the way there,” he said as he turned around. “I don’t want you losing your way after all.”
Oh please, that was a lame cover if he was trying to do so. I doubt it, but I simply nodded and followed him without question. It was about then that I noticed that Discord hadn’t come with me, but had stayed in the throne room. I could swear he’s somehow just messing with me. Still, Princess Cadence also went with us so this was the first time I had actually spent any time around her. It took me a few minutes before I managed to say anything to her.
“So, you’re Princess Cadence? I’ve heard a bit about you. How are things going for you?”
Damn that was kinda lame.
“I’m having a nice time seeing Twilight again,” she said with a nice, but subdued tone. “I didn’t get to see her that often before her transformation and it’s nice to get to see my new sister more even if it is whenever something pressing comes up in order to make it happen.”
“That’s cool,” I replied. “It must be a little odd seeing her like this I bet.”
“It’s no less different than when it happened to me.”
“Yeah, Celestia told me-”
“Princess Celestia,” Shining Armor interrupted.
“Uh, yeah. Anyway, she told me that it’s not very often that new alicorns are created. Just you and Twilight in this generation.”
“Indeed it is. Becoming an alicorn isn’t an easy task by any stretch of the imagination.”
“Very true,” I responded.
She then gave me a quizzical look.
“What would you know of the process? The princesses said that you are not from Equestria.”
“We exchanged information a few times and it came up. I am sworn to secrecy not to tell any ponies how to do it if it makes you feel better.”
“How do we know if you will keep your word?” asked Shining Armor.
“Oh come on. It’s been a year since she told me and I haven’t said anything about it until now,” I stated defensively.
“We only have your word that you haven’t. Who is to say that you have kept it?” he said with his voice full of suspicion.
I wanted to respond to him with something, anything really. However, nothing came. Instead, I sighed and slumped my shoulders as we walked.
“You know, you really know how to suck the fun out of the room. One would think it’s your special talent.”
I managed to draw a quick chuckle from Cadence and another glare from Shining Armor. Any joy I may have had from that was short lived, however, as we came to a large spiral staircase. You remember that room that Rarity got in season two? Yeah, apparently I got that room this time around.
Holy crap what the hell was up with this design? You basically had a tower with a staircase on the outside of the thing. This was a tower, in a castle, on a mountainside ! I not only had to climb the thing, which sucked because I was out of shape and all, but I had to worry that at any moment a strong gust of wind could come along and blow me right off of the thing! If it wasn’t for the fact that there was a slight wall on the side I’m not sure that I would have even gone up the damn thing.
Still, climb it I did. Despite the horrible climb, the view I got was worth the effort. I’ll be the first to admit that scenery isn’t really an interesting thing for me to look at. I’ve watched a sunrise. I’ve watched a sunset. I’ve seen nature and only when I see something new will I take any interest. Even then, my interest fades after a few minutes almost all the time. It actually kind of sucks if I had to be honest. Now wasn’t one of those times.
I actually caught a brilliant view of the sunset in between these two mountains and down where I’m pretty sure Ponyville was. I only say that because I think that was what my brain was dredging up. Anyway, the sunset here was definitely quicker than the ones back home. It took about thirty seconds from when it touched the horizon for it to completely disappear. I’m not sure if the words breath taking were the correct choice, but still it was quite the sight to behold.
“Have you never seen a sunset before?” asked Cadence.
“Not one like that, no.”
“Well, hurry up and get to the top. We still have things we need to do before we retire for the night,” added Shining Armor.
“Yeah, don’t get your panties in a bunch.”
“My what?”
I facepalmed.
“Nevermind. Specieal reference. Let’s just get there.”
A few minutes later and we were at the top of the tower. The room at the top looked just as nice as it did on the show. A large bed, some dressers and a few end tables were scattered around the room. It was a bit odd, however, to see a shag carpet covering a portion of the tiled floor. It just seemed so out of place. Honestly, I think I was too focused on it for my own good.
“We are terribly sorry that you had already missed out on dinner before you had arrived,” said Cadence.
“Oh it’s no trouble. I was about, I don’t know, maybe five hours ahead or so. I had already eaten so it doesn’t matter. Besides, I’m not sure that you would have had any options for me to eat. Pony diets aren’t mostly human friendly. We’re omnivores after all.”
“I understand. I’m willing to bet that Princess Celestia will have something appropriate for you at breakfast tomorrow. Until then, you rest up. I have a feeling that it will be quite the interesting day for you and all of us by proxy,” she said with a grin.
Cadence turned to leave and Shining followed suit. As they reached the door, Shining Armor stopped while Cadence went on. He then turned his head to me.
“Remember, I’ve still got my eye on you,” he said slightly menacingly. He then turned, closed the door behind him, and left me alone to think about my situation.
In those few retrospective moments, I wasn’t really proud of how much thought I had put into this. Basically, my pockets were full of stuff and I had a camera around my neck. I was glad nothing had been damaged either; at least as far as I could tell. Still, I looked like some moronic tourist. Really, I was carrying around a teddy bear for goodness’ sake! And for that matter, why had nobody mentioned Oatmeal at all? A grown man carrying around a teddy bear would make for a pretty weird image. Then again maybe that was what Pinkie was laughing at. Who really knows?
As I took a look at my watch, I realized that I now had the same problem as last time. I had no real way to know when it was exactly. Sure, at least I knew how long it had been since Discord had appeared in front of me. My watch read 1:47 a.m., which meant almost a couple of hours since then.
Another question that made me think about was when would my family find my note. They may care about me a great deal, but I really wonder when they might notice that I wasn’t around. They barely ever see me unless they’re taking the stairs up to the first floor. That’s pretty much it, unless they have something for me to do. Hell, they could think I was in my room the whole time on my Xbox or Playstation and would never even realize for days that I wasn’t there thanks to the fact that they knew I wasn’t in line for another interview any time soon.
I shook my head to get rid of that train of thought. I had decided to move on and take a step forward towards a different path. I couldn’t look back so much all at once if I wanted to change things for myself.
I walked over to one of the end tables, placed my stuffed animal down, and emptied my pockets out. I also took my camera off and placed it there with everything else. Everything I owned in Equestria was now on this one table. It was kind of a small thing, but it made me think of what I really wanted to hold onto. I kind of wish that I had taken my wallet with me. Sure, almost nothing in there was useful, but it still had a picture of me with my family. It would have been worth it just for that.
Sighing deeply, I took off my hat and placed it next to my things. I then decided to turn slightly and walk all of two steps over to the bed. Rolling down the sheets, I then kicked off my shoes, not even bothering to undo the velcro, and simply slumped into bed. I was going to strip down to my underwear like I always did, but something told me that with Discord in the vicinity it wasn’t really the best idea. Heck, I didn’t even bother with taking off my glasses. I simply rolled over and pulled the covers over myself. I then kicked them off because I could tell already that I was going to get really hot under them.
“This is a really stupid problem to have. If I take off my clothes and go to sleep, I risk Discord pranking me by teleporting me into Luna’s bed or something and having her discover me in the morning. If I don’t, I’m going to be stuck just laying in this bed and possibly risk getting a cold from being up this high. Also, if I decide to pull up the covers, I’m going to sweat profusely and then I’m going to stink pretty badly around the ponies even if I take a shower in the morning. I bet that they’ll understand a bit, but that’s still not making the best impression for them. Why is even the simplest thing giving me a hard time here?”
In the end, I just decided to leave my feet under the sheets and try to sleep that way. It wasn’t a great way to do it, but it was the only way I could feel reasonably comfortable with given the circumstances. Per usual, it took me quite a while to make my brain wind down; perhaps an hour or so. Eventually, I did fall asleep on my first new day in Equestria.
View Online
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
A Meal, a Show, and Some Knowledge for Dessert
I woke up, thankfully, in the same place as I had fallen asleep in. I guess knowing that Discord was free and in the general area had let my mind work up some scenarios that seemed a bit ridiculous now. I didn’t feel much better, but I blame that on the fact that I was still in a tower in a castle. It shouldn’t have bothered me, and yet I couldn’t help it.
I shook off the bedding and rolled to the side of the bed. I then sat up and placed my feet on the floor. I didn’t really feel too bad for a change. It was probably one of the better nights’ sleep I’d had in a long time. I couldn’t remember much of my dream other than a weird scene where I was talking with Pinkie Pie and Twilight. Normally I would dismiss it as a dream and maybe replay it a few times in my head before it disappeared into the void of my subconscious if it was really enjoyable. However, there was the fact that I was now in the same vicinity as Pinkie Pie and Twilight.
This brought about a new problem. It was entirely possible that I was having a precognitive dream about the conversation. I had them from time to time. They were rare for me, but they were always a possibility. Of course, they also were always really boring. Nothing exciting happened in them and they were always just exceedingly random. Then again, to my knowledge, I had never once dreamed of ponies.
At that point, I realized that I was just thinking and getting nowhere with it. I reached down and put my shoes on. After that, I got up and walked all of the two steps over to the end table with my stuff and looked at it again. Other than the coin and the toothbrush, I decided to leave everything there. I didn’t need any of the rest of it then and I could always come get it later. Still, I wasn’t looking forward to the trips I might have to make back and forth so I decided to pocket the DS as well and then proceeded to the lavatory of the room. After taking care of all my business in there and lamenting the fact that I didn’t bring a comb or beard trimmer, I went back to the table, put on my hat, and exited out of the tower and into the new day.
As I made my way down the tower, I couldn’t help but notice the lack of wind. I don’t think I noticed it despite the fact that I was worried about it on the way up. However, without the sunset and the escort I had realized that despite how high up I was there wasn’t any wind at all. Anybody who’s been in a high altitude area knows that there is always a wind. It’s part of how weather works. Then again, knowing how weather works here it may just be something that doesn’t exist since nature is being taken care of by the local species instead. Or it could be just in the general vicinity since it would look bad to have it happen in the presence of the royalty.
With a readjustment of my hat, I made my way carefully down the stairs. It took a bit less time than going up, but when I made it to the bottom, there were two guards waiting for me. I simply saluted them like I always try to do when I see on duty military. It’s something I did since my dad was in the military for as long as I could remember. They didn’t really seem to regard it one way or another. Their training was in top form, I think.
“Princess Celestia would like you to join her as her guest for breakfast. If you would follow us.”
As I simply nodded and followed him, I was a bit surprised that I was actually awake for breakfast. It’s not that I’m lazy or anything.
...Okay, I’m kind of lazy. Shut up.
Anyway, I don’t sleep well almost all the time. Therefore, I end up getting up just around the time people are usually transitioning to lunch. As such, I was actually happy about the fact that I felt at least better rested and up at a normal or so time. At least, I hoped it was a normal time. My watch was still set to the time from back home.
It took about ten minutes before we made it to the dining hall. As I stood just outside the doorway, I took in the room itself. Honestly, it was pretty much what I was expecting. There was a large room with a long, white table that reached to both ends of the room, banners of red and gold in between each window, tiled floors that seemed to purvey in each and every part of the castle. If it wasn’t so cliche it might be interesting to look at.
Sitting at the table was everyone who was in the throne room when I arrived, save for Discord. They all seemed to regard me a few moments after I entered the room proper. Celestia broke the silence first.
“Greetings, Seth. Was your night here a restful one for once?”
I scoffed quickly at her acquired knowledge thanks to that scrying spell.
“It was for a change. That bed is much more comfortable than what I’m used to.”
“I am glad to hear it. Breakfast has been prepared and you are invited to join us,” she practically beamed at me.
I quickly took the hint and made to sit down at the end of the table.
“Come now,” Celestia said, stopping me in my tracks. “I would like you to sit over here next to me. We have many things to discuss with everyone here and many of them pertain to you.”
I kind of winced at that. Well, that and how she said everyone since I never remember hearing that coming from ponies. Therefore, I made my way down over to where Celestia was. Along the way, I passed several of the ponies I had reaquainted myself with last night, including Shining Armor who gave me a ‘you better be on your best behaviour’ glare. Of course, when I got to my designated seat I hesitated for a moment before sitting down. Even though I knew all of them, they didn’t really know me anymore and so I was fixated by several measuring looks. I did my best to not let it get to me, but that was one of my many faults.
“It has been nearly a year since we have last seen you Seth,” Celestia informed me. “How have you been faring since then?”
I really wanted to get into it, but of all the ponies present, only she and Luna had any idea of who I was. There was also the fact that Luna wasn’t even aware of my life on Earth so talking about it seemed a little out of place. Instead, I opted for a more subtle answer.
“Eh, not that great, but what can you do? “
“I see,” she said succinctly.
I hoped that she wouldn’t delve any further, but that hope was quickly dashed.
“Would you care to elaborate at all?” she asked as sweetly as possible.
I really didn’t want to bring it up in front of the others for the previous reasons, but I didn’t think that she would leave me alone with the look she was giving me.
“Well, I lost my job a week after I got back, I had to move to a new place that was really cheap, and my car got destroyed. So yeah, that happened.”
I got several looks from the assembled group. At least I assumed so. I had just stared down at the table while talking so I didn’t have to look around at everyone. Getting scrutinized isn’t exactly a pleasant feeling.
“You have my sympathies in regards to what has transpired,” Celestia responded.
“It’s fine,” I responded. “I’m more upset as to why I was fired than any of the rest of it.”
“And what, pray tell, was the reason for it?” asked Luna.
My surprise in hearing Luna ask that was quickly lost in my anger at what had happened long ago.
“Oh, I got fired because I gave a guest a hug.”
“What!?!”
I looked up in surprise from Pinkie’s outburst.
“That’s terrible! Why would they do that?”
“It is proper decorum where he is from,” Celestia explained.
“Normally, I’d be agreeing with Celestia, but she was the one who asked for a hug in the first place. I mean, the store’s motto is ‘fast, fun, and friendly’, so why wouldn’t I give them a hug if they asked for one?” I said; getting a little upset in the process.
“It still wasn’t your place to do so,” Celestia commented.
“Well, I still think it’s ridiculous and that I shouldn’t have been fired for that reason alone,” I said while still feeling upset about it.
“You’re telling me!” Pinkie interrupted. “That sounds super duper mean! Why would anypony not want to keep you if you gave out free hugs?”
“Your guess is as good as mine, Pinkie,” I answered.
As I finished with that statement, our food arrived from a different room. We quelled any more talk while our food was laid out in front of us. I wasn’t quite sure what I would be getting to eat since, you know, omnivore and all that jazz. It turned out to be not too different. I ended up being served scrambled eggs and toast. Not bad at all.
As I took my first bite of eggs, which were delicious I might add, Celestia decided to resume our conversation.
“So Seth, are the events that transpired what made you decide to come back to Equestria? You do know that we may not be able to send you back for some time.”
“They were an influence on it for sure. I guess I just got tired of how things were going for me. Yeah, I get the feeling that I’m going to miss things more than I thought down the road from now, but I think I needed to do this. I just… Well, I just think that’s what was the best thing for me to do given the situation.”
“Dost thou realize how poor of a reason that is?” asked Luna.
“I guess so. It doesn’t change the fact that I’m here now.”
As I said that, I caught another glimpse of Shining Armor. He was using his magic to eat, but at the same time it seemed to me that he hadn’t taken his eyes off of me the entire time I had been here. In a poor sense of the situation, I decided to call him out on it.
“You know, Shining, I think your wife is going to get jealous of you staring at me for so long.”
“I’m just keeping my eye on you,” he responded. “That’s all.”
“There’s keeping an eye out, and then there’s just plain creepy staring and you really seem to be straddling that line, dude.”
“I may not be the head of Princess Celestia’s Royal Guard anymore, but I still feel the need to keep an eye out for anything that seems like a threat to the crown. You may have the trust of the Princesses, but you haven’t earned mine.”
I was going to ask why he felt that way, but then I remembered the conversation with Celestia from before. He didn’t remember me from the time before. He didn’t remember that I helped return his sister home. Then again, my limited contact with him really may not have been enough to get him to trust me then either. Assuming things is kind of making me look like an ass now.
“So, for the record, it’s because you don’t trust me? That’s why you're giving me the stink eye?” I asked with a hint of pointless frustration.
“That’s correct,” he said flatly. “No one has ever heard of your species other than the Princesses, and they seem to be rather eager to trust you for reasons that they refuse to give to the rest of us. I don’t like trusting anypony without giving me just cause to do so.”
At that point, I remembered that for most people, trust had to be earned. Even if it may have been the opposite here, there were some cases where that still held true. Shining Armor was a prime example of that. However, I also knew that there was but one way and one way only that, for some reason, seemed to bring everyone here together no matter what. I just hoped that I didn’t suck too badly at it.
I motioned Celestia to lean in towards me and when she did, I whispered my plan to her. After a chuckle and a nod, I pulled my chair out and stood up.
“What are you doing?”
“If there’s one thing that seems to bring everyone together around here, it’s singing. I don’t really like doing it, but if I need to do it so that you’ll all feel better, then that’s what I’m going to do.”
“What in the name of Equestria-” Shining Armor began, only to get interrupted by my singing and the the appropriate music that I believe was provided from Celestia.
“Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me. I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed. She was looking kinda dumb with her finger and her thumb in the shape, of an L, on her forehead. ”
As I made that motion on my own forehead, I broke out into a bad rendition of ‘All Star’ by Smashmouth. It was probably the only song I knew by heart, through and through. It made me quite the spectacle as well. I didn’t just stand there and sing. This was Equestria and it made sure that I went went around the table from pony to pony while singing and gesturing to each of them. Now personally, there were only two parts I really liked during the rendition. The first was when Celestia started whistling after the second chorus like in the song. Everyone was really surprised at that and I was also glad she did it since I couldn’t whistle myself. It also helped lighten the mood quite a bit. The second was when I had reached the moment just before the final chorus. In the music video for this song, everyone in the video pumped their right fist in the air and shouted ‘Go!’ all at the same time. Here was no different. Everyone from me, to the girls, to the rulers, and even Shining Armor pumped their right forehoof, or right hand in my case, into the air on perfect cue. I’d expected no less from such a perfect musical world. Too bad my singing was on a higher key than the original or it would have been perfect in every way. As the song came to a close, I sat back in my chair while breathing a little heavy.
I kind of wish I had said something snappy after all of the pizazz. Unfortunately, I’m not witty until about ten minutes after the moment passes. I’m not perfectly witty until at least a day passes. Either way, I couldn’t come up with that perfect one liner after I had finished and taken my seat. Instead, Pinkie took the initiative.
“That was fun!”
“I’ll admit that it wasn’t as terrible as I had expected it to be,” I followed up with.
“And what exactly did you hope to accomplish by singing that little number?” asked Shining Armor.
“Well, maybe coming off less like a threat and more like a goofy idiot?”
“That’s kinda what got offa that,” chimed in Applejack.
"That's pretty much all I got from that," added Rainbow Dash.
“Stupid memory loss razza frazzle,” I mumbled to myself.
“While this may have been slightly entertaining,” Luna interrupted, “we believe that we should discuss the matters pertaining to Seth’s foreseeable future.”
“Indeed,” added Celestia. “While sending Seth home would be the proper course of action, it will still take Discord some time to build up enough energy for him to open a portal back to Seth’s world.”
It made me a little sad to hear that they wanted to send me back, but I guess I understood where they were coming from. It still sucked though. I guess some happy, little fantasy life in Equestria wasn't my destiny.
“Why do we need Discord’s help anyway?” asked Rainbow Dash.
“Discord is the only one of us who knows the proper spell matrix required for the spell to work and his chaos magic is required to be especially strong for it to succeed. Of course, perhaps Seth could lend some of his chaos magic to Discord in order to speed things along.”
That got everyone’s attention back onto me.
“You can use chaos magic?” asked many of the ponies at the same time.
“No, I can’t. Celestia, I thought that I told you that already in my letter.”
“Chaos magic recharges around acts of chaos. Surely some magic should have returned to you since then,” she rebutted.
“It might have if Discord hadn’t taken every last speck of magic out of me when I got back. He took everything I had and everything from the coin before he left, so no magic was left in me whatsoever.”
“If that is so, then why do I detect a magical aura around you?” she asked.
“Discord magically enhanced my body slightly so that I could survive the trip through. It’s a bit different than the other places I’ve been to. He told me that if he didn’t to it then my body would be ‘ripped to shreds,’” I said in air quotes.
“I see,” she answered contemplatively. “Then it seems we are back to the original problem. Discord needs time to recharge and thus brings me back to the topic beforehand. Since it will take some time for Discord to gain the amount of energy necessary, we have decided that we will need to move Seth to a more semi-permanent lodging.”
“What exactly does that mean?” asked Rainbow Dash.
“The guest rooms in the castle are usually only for temporary accommodations for dignitaries and good friends of mine. They are not meant to be used for the amount of time that it will take for Discord to regain his magic. Therefore, we have come up with another solution.”
“I really hope it isn’t me sharing some lodging with any of the ponies here.”
“Are you insinuating that any of us would not be a good host?” asked Rarity.
“Completely the opposite. It would probably take a couple of days at the most for any of you to throw me out from sheer aggravation.”
“As much as it pains me to say it, he is correct,” said Celestia. “That is why we have decided on a different location for him to occupy. It is a small cottage, much like Fluttershy’s, and like Fluttershy’s cottage it is located right next to the Everfree forest.”
That didn’t go over very well either.
“Why would you send somepony to live next to the Everfree Forest?” asked Rainbow Dash. “I can understand if he asked if he wanted to stay there since I know Flutters and AJ live next to it just fine, but sending somepony there sounds like a bad idea.”
“Hey, as long as I don’t have to live inside the forest, then that should be okay.”
I looked down after Dash gave me an ‘are you kidding?’ look. It happened to remind me that my food was getting cold so I took a bite of my eggs.
“I agree that it is a place that can be dangerous. Therefore, as a precaution, he will have Discord staying with him.”
And for the first time ever, I did a spit take.
Author's Note
Just a note that I was going to have an entire routine made up for me singing All Star. However, due to the new guidelines that little jaunt had to be scrapped. Just imagine me singing this song about a couple of octaves off key in one way or another at different points in the song and going into a yawning fit during the whistling and then you have me.
Also, holy crap I typed up an entire chapter in one day! Where the hell has this drive been all my life?
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
Well, this was a familiar, yet uncomfortable feeling. The feeling of getting stuck on the back of a train. It sounds exactly as fun as it actually is.
Well, after the fun little fact about being roomies with Discord, Celestia decided to give out some details about the house. Apparently, some pony built it there. Ooooooooh. Well, I guess it turns out that he was a carpenter and wanted to try and build a small house out of the trees that grow from the Everfree Forest. Since no one else wanted to test out their luck with that kind of thing, it took him about eight months to do it all by himself. After it was complete, he lived there for all of two weeks until he left.
You know that guy in the episode where Rainbow Dash is trying to read the Daring Doo book and there’s this one pony who’s literally barking? Well, now I know why. And now, I get to stay in the same place.
Joy.
Once that was settled, and by settled I mean that I actually had no say in the matter, we ate the rest of our breakfast in relative silence. Of course, I still got some looks from some of the ponies. Sure, they didn’t mean to and they looked away whenever I looked back at them. The exception to this was Shining Armor, of course. His gaze never faltered from me at all. Thanks to his unicorn magic, he could do several things at once and in this case he was absentmindedly eating breakfast and giving me the non-Fluttershy patented stare. I decided to tolerate it considering that he still had to help run a country and couldn’t keep an eye on me after I left and of course there was how the last time that I noticed that also factored in.
After breakfast ended, which was apparently signified by both Celestia and Luna leaving the table, I was escorted to a room in the castle that served as the entrance hall. It was a nice, grandiose place that I stayed in for a while. It was kind of interesting in that it just seemed to look like any other hall in the place minus the hall with the stained glass history windows. Apparently, that was the place that I got stuck in while everyone was checking out of Castle Greyskull. As I was told by one of the guards standing watch over me, my belongings were being gathered by a pegasus guard and would be delivered to me shortly. I was going to protest the obvious, but honestly if it saved me from climbing up and down those stairs again then I supposed that I could let it slide.
After about fifteen minutes, the guard in question came down with a small bag that contained my belongings. After making sure that everything was there, the guard saluted us and flew off. I decided to take just the camera out of the bag and hung it around my neck. I then took a look at the bag itself. It was one of those saddlebags that I saw everyone use in the show. It was a plain tan color and was held closed by a silver buckle. There wasn’t anything I could see on it that resembled a cutie mark so I assumed that it was some generic bag that anyone could pick up somewhere.
Another twenty minutes passed and some of the ponies started showing up. First was Rainbow Dash followed shortly by Pinkie Pie. A few minutes after that, Applejack, Fluttershy, and Twilight Sparkle all came down together. I was honestly a bit surprised that Twilight was coming with us. Yes, Ponyville was her home, but she was a princess now. Shouldn’t she be learning some princess etiquette or some other strange thing about it? I wanted to ask her about it, but she was talking with her friends and I didn’t want to break into their conversation. Another ten or so minutes later and I was considering breaking out my DS when Rarity show up.
True to form, she was carrying a large number of bags around her in her telekinetic grip. While all the other ponies had their saddlebags and maybe one other one as well, Rarity was levitating eight extra bags as well as carrying Opal’s cage on her back. Since Rarity isn’t the magical powerhouse that Twilight is, we all ended up taking one of them and we were apparently on our way.
I did end up asking why Shining Armor and Cadence didn’t come with us to the train station. I was told that they were getting the royal airlift back and they had said their goodbyes after breakfast. I was kind of surprised that the royal stick-in-the-mud hadn’t said one last parting shot to me if he knew that he was leaving. I didn’t get to dwell on it long, though. The city of Canterlot had many citizens who wanted to take a look at the strange creature that they had never seen before. The guards escorting us helped to keep their distance, but it didn’t help me any from feeling their eyes upon me. It kind of sucked, especially since there ended up being a few places I saw that I would have really liked taking a picture of.
It took us about twenty minutes to get from the castle to the station. We didn’t have to worry about getting tickets since we were all there for royal business. Well, they were there for royal business. I was there playing dumb tourist. However, just like last time, I was too big to get into the train so I ended up riding outside on the caboose again. Still, my things were placed in the luggage car for whatever reason. What made up for some of it though was that I got a nice picture of Canterlot as the train departed. I only managed to get the top of the waterfall, but I still liked it.
That was a few hours ago. Since then, I had broken out my DS and started playing some Disgaea. No one bothered me back here since nobody wanted to get near the oddity. Aside from the wind blowing by, it was nice and quiet. That silence was soon disrupted by the train whistle. I quick-saved my game and turned of the power. I then held down my hat and peered around the side of the train. Yeah, I didn’t need to take a look. I just felt like it.
Getting my own visual confirmation, I put my DS in my pocket and waited for the train to roll to a stop. A few minutes later, the train arrived at Ponyville’s train station. I hopped down and walked around the train to the side with the platform. Since the train was still deboarding, there were only a few ponies around to take notice of me.
One group of ponies I didn’t expect to see there, but maybe I should have, were the Cutie Mark Crusaders. I would have thought that they would be in school right then. Instead, they were watching the train; waiting for everyone to exit. Surprisingly, they had yet to notice me.
Seeing them there, I decided to be a bit goofy. I moved around the platform quietly, despite my size, and simply stood behind them and waited while looking forward. It didn’t take long.
“Do y’all feel funny?” asked Applebloom.
“Yeah, I kinda do,” replied Scootaloo.
“It’s kind of like something’s standing over us,” chimed Sweetie Belle.
I didn’t look down as I heard a trio of gasps. Instead, I waited to see if they would follow up with anything. When nothing came, I looked down into their eyes.
“‘Sup?”
Their mouths went wide at hearing me. I smiled and resisted the urge to start giggling like a mad man.
“You all waiting for somebody?” I continued.
“Uh, yeah,” answered Applebloom. “Ah’m waitin’ for mah sister.”
“That’s nice. I just got off the train and am waiting for some ponies I came with.”
“But we were watching the train the whole time. We didn’t see anypony get off the train at all,” stated Scootaloo.
“I was on the caboose. I jumped off when the train stopped,” I answered.
“Does that mean you’re a stowaway?” asked Scootaloo.
“What? No!”
“Then where’s your ticket?” asked Sweetie Belle.
“I don’t have one.”
“Then you’re a stowaway!” yelled Scootaloo.
“No, I’m not,” I said defensively.
“Oh yeah? Then what are you?” she continued.
“Too big to sit in the train,” I said. “Because of that, I had to sit-”
“I found him!”
I was interrupted by a shout from Pinkie Pie. It was a good thing too because my attempt at being goofy was short lived. Pinkie Pie hopped off of the train and over to me.
“Did I win?”
“Yep. You get the prize.”
“Oh boy! What’s the prize?”
“A hug!” I exclaimed and wrapped her up in a hug.
“That’s a superriffic prize! What did you want to play next?”
“He doesn’t have time to play anything Pinkie,” I hear Twilight interject. “We need to unpack out things and take him to his lodging place.”
I let go of a sadder Pinkie and stood back up.
“You know who this is?” asked Sweetie Belle.
“Yes, we do,” responded a now present Rarity. “He is going to be temporarily residing here in Ponyville while we are waiting for certain problems to be resolved.”
“What kind of problems?” asked Applebloom.
“Nothin’ that none of y’all need tah be concerned about,” added a recently arrived Applejack.
“Awww,” they all chimed in unison.
“Don’t sweat it,” I replied. “It’s all pretty boring stuff anyway. At least for children.”
“Really?” they asked me in an ‘Oh my God, that’s so adorable!’ look.
“I’d squee if it wasn’t so uncool and yes really.”
I wanted to try another attempt with them for some unknown reason to me, but I was interrupted by Twilight again.
“Like I was saying, we have to get our new acquaintance-”
“Twilight!” interrupted Pinkie. “He’s not an acquaintance. He’s our new friend!”
“Well-”
“And,” she continued, “he’s new to Ponyville too! You know what this calls for?”
“Ah don’t think that now’s the time for a party sugarcube.”
“Of course now’s not the right time for a party. We still have to send out invitations!”
“Sad, but true,” I said, and instantly started thinking about the song by Metallica.
“Besides,” added Twilight, “we need to get out of the way so that other ponies can board the train.”
I looked around and noticed only two other ponies on the platform.
“I don’t know. It doesn’t look like there’s much of a rush to get on this midnight train to Georgia.”
Yeah, that went over about as well as you might expect it to.
“Uh, hon, it ain’t midnight and I don’t right know where this Georgia is.”
I softly facepalmed and started shaking my head.
“Let’s just go.”
After getting my things from the others, the ten of us started walking off into Ponyville. By then, it was getting into the afternoon. Again, not sure what time it was. However, this time I made to rectify the situation.
“Does anyone know what time it is?”
“It’s the afternoon,” answered Rainbow Dash.
“Do you know what time specifically?” I followed up with.
“Do I look like I have a clock on me?”
“I swear, someone needs to have a watch to let me know what time it is.”
“I have a watch,” replied Pinkie.
“Really? Can you tell me what time it is?” I asked full of hope.
“I can after I get home.”
“But I thought you said you had a watch?”
“I sure do! I have to watch the Cake twins tomorrow!”
I wanted to facepalm hard, but needed to take off my hat and glasses to do it and my off hand was holding my bag. I suppose I could have carried both, but I didn’t want to. Instead, I just groaned.
“Alright then, are we all just headed to the place where I’ll be staying now or should you all head to your own homes and drop off your stuff?”
“We should probably do the latter choice,” said Twilight. “It wouldn’t make any sense for us to carry our belongings all over the place. Why don’t we all head home, put away our things and meet up and the library?”
“Do I really need to?” asked Rainbow Dash. “I mean I don’t really care where he is staying all that much.”
“I think we all should in case we need to tell him something and the rest of us are busy with another thing.”
“That doesn’t really make much sense,” Rainbow added.
“Ugh, just do it please Dash.”
“Fine,” she replied and quickly flew off.
I kind of wanted to question why she was insistent about it, but I couldn’t find the right question to ask.
“Seth, you’ll come with me to the library and wait for everypony there.”
“Yes, ma’am,” I said rather unenthusiastically.
“What about us?” asked Applebloom.
“None of us have time to help you with your crusading today. We’re helping Seth get settled in.”
“Can we come too?” asked Sweetie Belle.
“I don’t mind,” I said, “but it’s going to be boring. Just a lot of walking around and I doubt anything else.”
“That does sound pretty boring,” said Scootaloo. “Come on. Let’s go do something else.”
We all went our separate ways and I followed Twilight along to the library. I hung my head as I ended up getting quite a few stares from the townsponies once again. I did briefly wonder what it was that they were doing at the train station waiting for their sisters. I doubted I’d find out now. At least it didn’t take long to get there. About five minutes according to my watch.
“Spike! I’m back!” Twilight yelled as she went inside.
“Twilight! You’re back!” I heard Spike yell from the other side of the library.
“Spike, you shouldn’t yell inside the library.”
“But didn’t you just yell it out?” I asked.
“I was heading into the library. I wasn’t actually inside yet.”
Cop out. I then got down on one knee and looked inside.
“I’m going to wait here since I can’t get in there easily, okay?”
“That’s fine. Just make sure you don’t go anywhere.”
I rolled myself over and sat up against the side of the tree to the left of the door. I sat my bag down and started looking through it to bide my time. I was surprised when I came across one of those parchments that Twilight and Celestia use. I pulled it out of the bag and took a look at it. I then slid the ribbon undone and started reading it.
Dear Seth,
I have asked the guard to put this in with your belongings in order for you to read later since I did not have time to discuss this with you privately. The reason I am sending you to Ponyville with the girls is so that while you are there you can try to help them regain their memories from when you were here before. I have told Twilight to tell the others to keep an eye on you since you can get into trouble without trying. While true, it should give you the presence needed around them to help with this task. Since we both know that you feel bad about them forgetting you, this will hopefully help to resolve the situation. I am uncertain as to how you can attain this goal, but I feel that your presence may help in ways that a simple spell could not. I wish you luck on this endeavor.
Best Regards,
HRM Princess Celestia
P.S. Do not worry about clothes as I have also taken care of that.
I wasn’t sure what she meant by clothes, but that wasn’t really what I was focused on anyway. The reason she was doing things this particular way was to jog everyone’s memory. She was right about that. It sucks when someone completely forgets about you. It makes you feel that you weren’t important enough for them to try to do so. If I could get their memory of me back, then I know I should try.
“What have you got there?”
I turned and looked at Twilight who was standing there and almost looking over my shoulder.
“It’s a letter that the princess left me in my bag. It’s just some task that she wants me to do while I’m in town.”
“Really? What kind of task?”
“She wants me to aid in some recovery effort,” I said vaguely.
“That sounds odd. Why would she ask you to help in some recovery effort when there are lots of ponies who could do it?”
“Apparently, I’m the only one who has a shot at making it work or something. I’ll see about working on it tomorrow. I’m not pressed for time and I think we all need to work on what we’re currently doing.”
“Are you sure that’s the way you should be taking a task given to you by Princess Celestia?”
“I think it should be fine. I’m going to be here for a bit so I can afford to settle in today and get working on it tomorrow,” I said reassuringly.
“I hope you’re right. I don’t want you to get into trouble after all.”
We waited for another two minutes before everyone else started showing up. Pinkie Pie, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash showed up well before the others did. Of course, that made sense considering that Fluttershy and Applejack’s places were well out of town. Eventually, after about another twenty minutes of waiting, the other two showed up and we started off to my new place.
It was times like that in which I really wished they still had their memories of me. The whole time, and really almost any time for that matter, whenever I was around them they seemed very subdued. Even Pinkie Pie seemed different. Sure she still had her grin on her face, but it just felt like she wanted to do something and she just didn’t. It just felt wrong. That time, more than most, made me feel out of place.
It took about fifteen minutes for us to get to the place Celestia put aside for me. It wasn’t a very big place, but it looked like somewhere I could get comfortable in. Well, until I noticed something I should have to begin with. It wasn’t built in the same manner as the ones in town were. This one was an actual log cabin. Unfortunately, my mind instantly drew a different comparison. That comparison was basically ‘The Cabin in the Woods’. I mean it was a cabin, next to a dangerous forest, whose previous occupant was now in a mental hospital.
“This house is a place born from many horror stories,” I said oh so eloquently.
“It is pretty creepy,” I heard I think Rainbow Dash say.
“There’s nothing wrong with the building. Celestia told me so herself,” Twilight said calmly.
“Then what about the story she told us?” asked Fluttershy.
“She was just being dramatic. The pony who lived here before had problems well before he started building this house.”
Despite hearing that explanation, I still felt a bit uneasy. Still, I stayed silent as we all approached the cabin. In retrospect, I think Celestia was just playing a trick on all of us. Of course, That was the impression I got when we all made it to the door and went inside.
The inside was in very good shape. The front door opened onto the right side of the main room with no furniture or anything else in it at all. It was just a rather medium-sized rectangular room about forty feet wide by thirty five feet deep. The room had three windows that were settled on two sides of the house; two on the front and one on the side. The floors had been treated, but were still wooden like everything else in the house save the doorknobs and windows.
“Well, this place certainly is quite dreary,” commented Rarity.
Ignoring her, we proceeded into the house. Along the wall on the right and in the middle of the back wall, there was another doorway which led to other rooms. The one on the back wall led to the kitchen. It was the same size as the front room and there wasn’t much in this room either. Other than what I believe was a wood fire stove on the left side of the room, a door leading out back, and a window near the door, it was also pretty plain. I did note that there was a small opening in the roof to let smoke out of the room from the wood stove as well.
I went back into the front room and went into the doorway that was on the right side of the room. There was a small hall that split into three doors. Two were on the left and one was on the right. The first door on the right led to a bathroom. Surprisingly, the bathroom was still intact. It was about eight feet wide by twenty feet deep or so. There was a sink directly to the left followed by a toilet. On the far wall, there was a bathtub big enough to fit a regular sized pony quite easily. Again, the walls and floor were made of wood which still was throwing me off quite a bit. Even the cabins I had seen back home looked more up to date than this. I was just glad that the other things were all porcelain. It was weird that there wasn’t a mirror, though. A quick test of the sink showed that there was no running water as of yet.
Exiting the bathroom, I took a look at the other door on this side of the hall. This door led to a guest bedroom about twenty five feet wide by deep. At least that’s what I believed anyway. Again, the place was empty. There were three windows on the two sides of the room that you could see outside from. In the far left corner of the room, there was a small, hollowed out area that I assumed was a closet. It didn’t have anything within it either and had no door on it.
I left that room and took a gander at the room across the hall. It appeared to be the master bedroom. It looked to be about thirty five feet wide by twenty five feet deep. Like the majority of the rooms, it was completely empty. The window arrangement in there was a mirror reflection of the main room with two windows on the front and one on the side. The difference between this room and the others was that the wall dividing this room and the main room was blocked off by swinging wooden doors. When opened, it turned out to be a closet that went all along the wall. Extravagant, yet utterly pointless.
“Talk about bare bones,” I said aloud. “This place must have been gutted after the previous owner left. Well, except the bathroom for some weird reason.”
“The princess wants you to live here?” I heard Rarity ask. “Why this place is absolutely dreadful! I wouldn’t even wish this place on the most evil of ponies!”
Dramatic much Rarity?
“I absolutely insist that you stay with me until this place looks more like a house and less like a horrid hovel!”
“I don’t know. Celestia wasn’t exactly kidding when she said that I can be a bad guest. I mean, yeah a bed would be preferable, but I could get a bedroll or a sleeping bag and I could sleep here just-”
“Oh heavens no!” she interrupted. “This place as it is right now is barbaric! You simply must stay the night with me so we can work on this absolutely dismal residence.”
You know, I really hoped that place wasn’t alive like in Monster House or else this could really end badly.
“Besides, I already need to have you come over today,” she added.
“You do? What for?”
“Why, to get you sized of course! Princess Celestia told me that the clothes you are wearing are your only pair. You need to get some fresh clothes and luckily for you I happen to be the best designer in all of Equestria!”
Annnnd there’s the ego.
“That may be, but I don’t have any money to pay you with.”
“Oh pish posh! The princess said that she would pay for them. Now, let’s hurry to my boutique and get you properly sized.”
Yeah, that sounded fun.
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
After leaving my bag behind, I went back into town with Rarity to her boutique in order to get sized. The rest of the group had followed me for a bit until they eventually split off to go home. Well, everyone except Twilight Sparkle. Apparently she really took that ‘keeping an eye on me’ thing seriously. Well, at least more serious than others anyway. Still, the three of us made it to the boutique in short order.
I hadn’t been to Rarity’s place the last time I was there. It is kind of an interesting setup. The whole building looks like it’s made out of cloth, but it actually is just a normal building wrapped up with fabric. It’s a good thing too because being able to support an entire two or three story structure with just some kind of fabric would have just been nuts, magic or no magic.
The inside was pretty interesting from a purely business like standing. You had the showroom floor when you came in. It had several racks with clothing of all sorts. Most of them were formal wear, but there were also a few casual pieces here and there. There was also a couple of raised platforms for examining clothing when trying it on. There were also a couple of mannequins with an outfit on them as a display for those who were interested in seeing some of her works or some other reason I probably wasn’t thinking of.
I was going to take a look at some of the other rooms, but I was stopped by Rarity before I had the chance to.
“Now that you’re here, I want to get you sized as soon as possible. Please remove your clothes and stand over here darling.”
I froze faster than a deer caught in headlights. Sure, I knew about the fact that ponies didn’t have any issue going without clothes. After all, they have fur covering their bodies to keep themselves at an even temperature in most weather. Because of that, they didn’t end up developing the social stigma to go along with wearing clothing at all times. Humans are a different story. Without much in the way of hair or fur we developed the need to wear clothes in order to keep ourselves warm or cool depending on the environment. By doing so, we did develop those habits and issues that went along with wearing clothes.
Now, I really wish that I had used that argument and explained it rationally to the two ponies present. Unfortunately, it came out sounding more like this:
“I’m not about to get naked for a couple of girls!”
Yep. That’s about what I said. Not only did I come across as a blithering idiot, I know full well that if the situation were different then yes I would get naked for a couple of girls. I think you all get the connotations of what I mean.
“Oh don’t be so concerned,” said Rarity. “I won’t tell anypony your measurements.”
“As a human male, I demand my right to keep my modesty intact! I wouldn’t ask you ladies to spread your legs and show me something would I?”
The gasps I got told me I may have gone too far.
“Okay, sorry. Not the best example and it was a bit vulgar. I apologize for that. But seriously, I’d rather not show off two a couple of females especially considering that they… well… actually, I‘ve got nothing to follow that with, but my point remains steadfast!”
Holy crap that sounded lame.
“I… suppose I can understand what you are trying to convey,” said Rarity. “Still, it is the best way to take your measurements if I want to make a new ensemble for you to wear.”
Man, this was all so much easier last time I was here. Then again, magic . Honestly, it seems that magic was just some kind of good luck charm for me while I was here last. I didn’t have to change clothes, I didn’t feel all achy from my trips around everywhere. Yeah, magic solved a lot of my life problems.
Still, right now there wasn’t much in the way of wiggle room, so I tried a compromise.
“Can I at least keep my underwear on? It shouldn’t get in the way of your measurements. It doesn’t for tailors on Earth and I bet you’re just as good as they are.”
She seemed to ruffle a bit at hearing that. Despite that, she put on a brimming smile.
“I believe that should be adequate for this… endeavor,” she said a bit strained.
I think in hindsight I may have insulted her abilities. At the time, though, I didn’t notice. I was too relieved that I wasn’t about to flash a few ponies. After that, I was given a wall divider to block off my presence from the rest of the floor. From there, I somewhat hesitantly removed my clothes down to my underwear.
Now, I was still very uncomfortable as Rarity began to take my measurements. After all, she might be a different species, but she was still a sentient female. She was easily taking stock of me while she was doing her job. She never said a word during the entire thirty five minute process (yes it took that long, I’ve got a watch remember?), but I could still tell that she didn’t think very much of me at all. Well, she had reason to considering that I’m six feet tall and weighed 235 pounds. I wasn’t exactly the physical specimen of my species. I was an overweight tub with a full, yet a bit scraggly, beard, wearing glasses for my nearsightedness. Not to mention that I had been walking for a few hours and most likely stunk. Surprisingly, I was only a bit achy and my left leg from the knee down felt like it was triple the weight it should be. I honestly expected worse.
Now, I said that Rarity was silent throughout the process. Twilight, however, was a different story. She stayed on the other side of the divider since I think she wanted to respect my decision, but that didn’t stop her curiosity. During the time I was back there, she started asking questions like she did the last time I was here. I did ask why she hadn’t started on this earlier and she responded by telling me that the others had asked her to wait until they weren’t around. Apparently, Applejack and Rainbow Dash couldn’t care less about me. Fluttershy and Rarity didn’t mind one way or the other. Twilight and Pinkie Pie were the only two who were avidly interested in learning about me. Somehow, the former two of them convinced the others that it would be better to wait until later with some kind of argument that had worked well enough. However, Twilight had apparently held out long enough after my ‘from Earth’ statement and just had to start asking about me after things between Rarity and myself were settled.
Basically, I went over the same topics from last time. I was from Earth which was a different planet altogether. There were a lot of people there. We have many different races of our own. We speak a great many languages. We constantly butt heads with each other. I wasn’t sure if I felt nostalgic or bored with this conversation. In the end, I realized it was boredom.
“All finished!” exclaimed Rarity.
“Thank Celestia! That took far too long,” exclaimed Discord.
Wait, what!?!
I spun a bit and hanging out on top of one of the dress racks was Discord.
“You could have said something you know,” I told him.
“Oh please, like these ponies would be able to concentrate on anything with me around.”
“Touché, Discord. So why exactly are you here? I seriously doubt it’s because of my roguish good looks.”
I was little disheartened when both Discord and Rarity both took a greenish pallor. I briefly held out hope that Twilight didn’t do the same since I could see her from that angle.
“Please, even I went to a horrid place of thought at that remark,” Discord said after recovering.
“Oh come on-” I said before being interrupted by a shushing noise.
“Now isn’t the time,” I heard Twilight say. “What is it that you’re doing here Discord?”
Discord jumped off of the rack and to the floor and then put his hands behind his back.
“Come now Twilight, can’t I keep up with my brand new roomie for a bit?”
He quickly disappeared in a flash and then reappeared right next to me. As he did, he scooped me into a side hug.
“Why, I haven’t had anyone keeping me company in over a thousand years! It feels great to have someone with whom to keep me company or to pay half the utilities to say the least.”
“Have you even taken a look at the place we’re going to be staying at?”
“Not yet I haven’t,” he said looking at me incredulously. “Why do you ask? Are you disappointed that Equestria doesn’t have television or the internet?”
“While true, you might want to take a look at it yourself before you poke fun at my tastes.”
“Indeed,” said Rarity. “Why that place-”
“Sorry, but I think it would be better if Discord was surprised at what furnishings the place has,” I said interrupting her.
“Oh my, oh my, it almost sounds like there’s only one bed there. I hope that isn’t the case since the sounds of snoring would keep each of us awake,” he said with a chuckle.
“Don’t worry,” I said coyly. “That’s not even an issue. Go on and see. You don’t have to wait for me.”
He disappeared in another flash and appeared inside one of Rarity’s mirrors.
“Very well. I shall go see this place that Celestia has sentenced us to. I’ll see you when you get home roomie!”
With that, he vanished in another flash.
“Why didn’t you tell him about the abhorrent conditions of your domicile?”
“And miss out on the thought of having him choke on his own words? Perish the thought. He was making fun of me for something trivial. Just the thought of him having to eat his own words makes me feel better about the situation.”
“That sounds a bit petty,” I heard Twilight say.
“Maybe so, but can you honestly say that you’ve never wanted to see him at a loss for words?” I asked as I started to get dressed.
“I’d rather not say,” she replied sheepishly.
I dropped the subject as I sat down and continued to get dressed.
“Frankly speaking, the designs for your new clothes should be done tomorrow, and the outfits themselves should be ready the next day. Princess Celestia asked that I make a rush on them and I feel quite inspired to do so as well.”
“That’s nice, thank you, but could you make them about as loose around the collar as what I’m wearing now? My neck area is pretty sensitive.”
“I suppose I can accommodate your request. Though, if I make anything formal that will have to be disregarded.”
“Um, okay I guess. I don’t really think I’ll be going to anything fancy enough for that though.”
“There is the next Grand Galloping Gala coming in a few days. You could always attend that,” said Twilight. “Or you could attend the next Summer Sun Celebration which is a few weeks after that. If Princess Celestia is correct, you should still be here for both occasions.”
“I can’t stand fancy get-togethers. I’m pretty much a wallflower anyway.”
I finished getting dressed and stood back up.
Which is about the moment that Discord reappeared in a flash.
“I must say that I may have misjudged you a little, kid.”
Kid? Ugh, just let it go. He’s got way more age on me and can say things like that.
“I take it you don’t really like the place?” I asked a bit bemused.
“I might like it if there was something in there to like! I suppose some redecorating is in order.”
“I hope that it won’t be anything like Fluttershy’s place when you were there.”
“Oh come now! We both know that I don’t like using the same trick twice. That would be boring.”
“Nor would it be true chaos either,” I added.
In a move I truly wasn’t expecting, he reached out and scooped me up into a hug. I couldn’t even feel the ground under my feet. I think I also heard crying?
“It’s like-*sniff*-you know the real me.”
I was going to say something, but I caught a glimpse of the absolutely stunned look on Rarity and just decided to wait the whole thing out. A few moments later, Discord literally dropped me. I stumbled a little, but avoided falling down. I was going to ask why he did that, but the fact that there was a lit bulb floating over his head kept me quiet.
“Now there is an idea! I think I will redecorate our new place!”
“Well, Rarity had offered to-”
“Oh what does Rarity know about designing a house anyway?”
For the record, I can’t feel murderous intent. Still, I didn’t have to be able to do that in order to feel the raw hatred that seemed to be radiating from Rarity at that moment. The fact that her coat had turned from white to red simply drove the point home.
“I shall await your return to our new home! I’m sure you’ll love it!” he exclaimed and disappeared in a flash.
Despite the fact that Discord had left, Rarity still looked to have murder on the brain. Just about when it seemed she was ready to burst, Twilight placed a hoof on her shoulder. It seemed to work well enough. Rarity took a look at her, closed her eyes, and took a calming breath. Slowly, her coat turned back to normal and her regular sophisticated self took over once again.
“No matter what it takes, I am going to make him pay for that remark. Mark my words!”
“I think I’ll take Seth back to his home by myself if you don’t mind,” stated Twilight.
Before Rarity could reply, Twilight went ahead and teleported the both of us outside of Rarity’s boutique.
“That seemed a little excessive,” I said. “You could’ve just walked out you know.”
“Trust me. I doubt we could’ve talked her down after having her sense of style just dismissed like it was. If she came along with us and saw Discord there, I’m honestly not sure what she might do. Anyways, let’s head back to your house. It’s going to be getting dark soon.”
I simply nodded and we began the walk back to the house. Still, I was a bit uneasy at what awaited me when I returned. After all, Discord was remodeling the place. Who knows what his crazy brain might to do the place?
Author's Note
Oh wow, what a flat ending. Sorry about that. I just couldn't get a good grasp of what I wanted the inside of the house to look like. Hopefully I can get an idea or somebody can share some ideas if they want.
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
I honestly had no idea what to expect while I was on my way to the new house. Neither did Twilight for that matter. I’m pretty sure neither of us had any good images of what awaited us when we arrived. I had images of an infinite interior, or maybe mansions with what Discord considered priceless art, maybe even the rooms themselves didn’t go to the right places anymore, or even more random things like a pack of wolves being chased by a house cat wielding a chainsaw. Twilight’s imagination wasn’t much better than mine either. She mentioned something about the house being a miniature Everfree Forest and seeing the head of Celestia and Luna mounted on the walls. I think we ended up dragging our feet to get there as well since it was almost sunset by the time we arrived.
The place still looked like it did when we left. It was just an odd looking log cabin near the woods. It even still had the creepy vibe from earlier. However, when we finally worked up the nerve to open the door, we were both quite surprised at what we saw. He had actually done nothing abnormal at all.
“Oh good, you’ve arrived!”
I jumped in surprise as the door morphed into the being known as Discord. He gave a slight chuckle and continued.
“Do you like what I’ve done with the place? I know, it’s quite the normal house. It’s really not my style at all. Then again, I can always do that with my own room. Best of all, it’s not even in the palace with the princesses looking over my shoulder all the time! Unlike any of the other beings here, you actually can appreciate the chaos that I can unleash!”
“So can Pinkie Pie if you remember,” I added.
“True enough, but she’s one of the Elements of Harmony. Other than Fluttershy none of them actually trust me, and she definitely doesn’t appreciate my antics.”
“That’s because you haven’t given us much room to trust you, Discord,” said Twilight.
“Oh let’s not bring that up now. Why don’t take a look at the remodeling that I’ve done instead?” he asked and then disappeared in a flash.
In the front around the, well where the door used to be, was some black and white ceramic tile. The floor was depressed slightly like in a Japanese home where they switch out their shoes for walking sandals in the house. The rest of the room had been carpeted with a nice, fine, red carpet that went into the hallway, but not the kitchen. The room had a sofa that extended along the entirety of the front of the house with enough room for a couple of wooden end tables on either end. It seemed much longer than necessary, but I honestly didn’t care. It was a faded blue color and extended into reclining chairs on both sides.
In the middle of the room stood a coffee table about two and a half feet high, twelve feet long, and about three feet wide. There were two tan colored reclining chairs on either side of the entrance to the kitchen. On the far wall, for some crazy reason, was an entire home entertainment center. I didn’t really know why he made that at first considering the fact that Equestria didn’t have any channels for the television he put in there. Then I saw the Xbox underneath it and my curiosity was momentarily quelled. The walls were painted an alternating royal blue and white which seemed a bit dark, but I still liked it. There was a standing lamp in the far corner. It was a bit odd that the cover for it was rainbow colored. It kind of threw me off.
In the kitchen, it was all tiled white with black lines that I thought was caulk, but didn’t quite feel like it. I still have no idea what it was since the tiles were actually made of marble. Why he made a marble-tiled kitchen floor, I have no clue. Where the wood fire stove used to be was now an electric stove with an oven positioned underneath it. Lined all along that wall, the wall bordering the living room up to the doorway, and around the corner up to the door in the back were white kitchen cabinets with silver knobs. Along the walls in between the hanging cabinets and the ones on the floor were the same tiling only in a smaller size. The rest of the room had been painted an off-white color.
In the middle of the room was a long wooden table about twenty feet long and four feet wide. It was a red color which made me think it was cherry wood, but I wasn’t really good at knowing what kind of wood was what anyway. It had seven chairs on the sides and one on each end made of the same wood. The small hole in the roof had been filled in as well since there was now a different stove. On the wall to the right, there were now two small full-length cabinets. One was a pantry with several shelves. The other was a place for kitchen cleaning supplies.
Upon going back to the front room, I noticed that the door to the house in the front had gone back to normal. I was concerned that it would be different somehow like the rest of the house I had seen since for some reason the inside looked crazily different. The fact that none of the walls inside the house now resembled a log cabin was my primary concern for this. However, it seemed to be okay until Twilight pointed out that the doorknob was made in the image of Celestia. I guess she had to get something right. Still, I probably needed to ask Discord to change that back because I didn’t want something that sharp sticking out around the house. One small trip and my day suddenly becomes ruined.
Upon entering the hallway, I first went into the bathroom to see how that had changed. After opening the door, I noticed first that the floor had been tiled up with a grey colored ceramic tile that also went up some on the wall. The sink was now larger and properly set for human height. However, it looked very odd. It actually looked like a clear bowl sitting on a countertop with a standing faucet perched over it. The countertop itself was an odd little white table looking thing with steel legs propping it up. At least it had a good sized mirror hanging over it now. The toilet barely looked any different. It had been reshaped for a human size, but I don’t think it had changed any other way. The tub was a completely different story. In fact, there wasn’t a tub at all now. Instead, a shower was in it’s place. It had a slightly upturned edge in the front and was tiled in a brown color along with the rest of the shower area most of the way up the wall. The shower head was on an adjustable bar for changing it’s height. I guessed Discord needed it for that extra room since he was taller than me. What kind of got me a little uncomfortable was the lack of a shower curtain. That was a horrible gag waiting to happen. I’d have to ask Discord to put one in or I could install one myself if I could figure out where to get one.
I left the bathroom with Twilight closing the door behind us and I opened the door to the guest room. I could tell that Discord had made this my room. It was easy to see since it looked like an explosion of Colts paraphernalia in there. It was hard to describe since everything was in the same style. The walls were blue with white horseshoes spaced all over the place. The floor still looked wooden slightly, but it was in appearance only since it was definitely carpet. There was a carpet that surrounded the bed that was white with some blue specks in it and had several horseshoes on it. The bed that was atop it was a double sized bed with an intricate pattern to the frame. The blankets and pillows were different from each other with the pillows being mostly white and the blankets being mostly blue.
The light for the room was hung in a chandelier style, but was actually four lights hung on a four-way bar with lampshades hung over them. To the left of the bed was an end table with a tiny flowerpot on it.on the far wall was a white dresser with some blue drawers in it. Also, this was the only room so far with any curtains. Those too had Colts designs all over them. Underneath the window on the far wall was a flower pot with a small plant growing out of it. The pot was also white and covered in blue horseshoes. There were also several posters and frames with Colts players and memorabilia in them. There were so many other little touches in there that I couldn’t even describe them all.
“I’m a little concerned about you having so many things with the word Colts on them Seth. I’m starting to think that maybe-”
“I’m going to be a little rude and cut you off right there Twilight,” I interrupted her. “Back where I’m from there’s a sports team called the Colts and they are my favorite team of all. I can tell you right now that the line of thought you probably were having was completely wrong.”
“Oh… Um, okay?” she replied a little uncomfortably.
I sighed and left it alone. I guess it would be a little awkward for the time being. Instead of dwelling on it we both left the room and went over to Discord’s room. I opened the door and took a step inside.
And was promptly met by Discord’s face.
I jumped a little and took a step back. Discord simply chuckled a bit.
“Now, now, Seth, I don’t want you or anypony else going into my room without me to escort them. You wouldn’t want to get lost now would you?”
“It’s just a room,” said Twilight. “How could we get lost in there?”
Discord simply chuckled again. He followed that by stepping back and opening the door wide for us to look inside. I was instantly gratified by what I saw.
Looking inside, it was as if we stepped straight into the Everfree Forest. Or perhaps a better analogy was the Everfree Jungle. It still gave off the feel of the Everfree Forest, but was much denser and more humid than the its counterpart. I was so caught up with it that I almost missed the other side of the door. It contained the fake mounted heads of each princess. All four of them for those counting. I kept myself in between Twilight and those to keep her from freaking out. I felt all more so considering that she had basically called her shot like this.
“Do you like what I’ve done with the place?”
“I have to say that I am very impressed,” I said dumbly.
“I’m so happy to hear that!”
“Discord! What did you do with this place?” demanded Twilight.
“I used a trick from his home and created an extra-dimensional space to put more things in my room. Like I said, don’t wander off because this door here is the only entrance to this place.”
She looked back to the door and unfortunately I didn’t cover it well enough for her to see what was on the back.
“Is that Princess Celestia’s- Is that MY head on that door ?” she asked.
“I hope you don’t mind dear Twilight. I just had to decorate it with something.”
Twilight whipped around and for a second it looked like she was going to go all rapidash on me.
“I do mind! It’s this very kind of thing that makes us not have any trust in you!”
“Calm down Twilight,” I said. “He’s just messing with you.”
“I am being calm!”
That is not calm, I thought.
“Listen to me Twilight. Do you trust me?”
She looked at me oddly.
“What do you mean?”
“I’m asking if you trust me.”
“I don’t know. I mean I just met you.”
“Exactly. Trust is something that you earn over time. It’s harder to trust someone you just met than someone you’ve known your whole life. Likewise, it’s harder to trust someone who you used to dislike or betrayed your trust before. I know that we’ve just met for the first time again, but believe me when I’m telling you that Discord is just doing this to mess with you. Do you trust me?”
I could tell she looked conflicted. Her past with Discord warring with belief in trusting new ponies, and in my case people. Eventually, she relented.
“Alright. I guess it makes sense that he’s trying to mess with me.”
That was a relief. It was also nice how Discord didn’t mess with that speech too.
“What did you mean by us meeting for the first time again?”
And there it goes. Well, I guess it was as good a time to try getting their memories back as any.
“Let’s get out of this room first before I start talking about it, alright?”
She took another quick look at her own head mounted on the door and nodded. We then promptly left the room.
“Ta ta all! I still need to put the final touches on my room,” Discord said and closed the door behind us.
The two of us walked back to the living room and up to the front door. I put my shoes back on and then led the both of us outside.
“So, are you going to tell me now?” she asked impatiently.
I turned back to her and brought myself down to one knee in order to look her in the eyes.
“Twilight, do you remember the first time you saw me?”
“Yes I do. I was in the throne room at the castle and you came out of that dimensional tunnel and fell on the floor.”
I closed my eyes and sighed.
“That’s not really true. Do you remember the times where your friends forgot who they were? After all, there are quite a few.”
“I do remember that happening several times. How does that relate to now?”
“It’s kind of the same thing. Right now, you and your friends have had your memories altered. The memories of me to be specific. All of your memories of me have been taken away.”
“They have? But why would that have happened? Why didn’t the princesses try to restore them?”
“They tried, but nothing worked. I’m not sure what’s going on, but I at least want you guys to get your memories back. So do the princesses. Heck, I think even Discord might want it as well and that's saying something. Hopefully we can try to do it together. Me and you, not Discord. You know what I mean I hope.”
“I do, but I’m not sure I believe you, but I know how sad it is to lose your friends. I’ll ask the others to see if they can think of anything.”
“That’s fine. I guess if I have to start over again, then I’ll have to accept that. I mean, I was barely here a couple of weeks last time. I bet I can make even better memories this time.”
“Maybe so. For now, it’s getting late. We can start on this problem tomorrow.”
“Alright. See you later Twilight,” I said and waved.
“See you later,” she replied and trotted back up the road.
I stood back up, turned around, and opened up the front door.
And was promptly met with Discord’s face. Again. Like last time, I jumped a bit and took a step back.
“Soooo, how’d it go with Twilight?” he asked in a suggestive manner.
“Well, I told her about how none of them remember me and we’ll pick that up tomorrow. For now, I am starving. Is there anything to eat in the fridge?”
“What fridge?”
I stopped and thought about that for a second. He was right. There wasn’t a refrigerator in the kitchen. I brought my forefinger and middle finger to my forehead and started rubbing it.
“You renovated an entire house and didn’t put a refrigerator in?” I asked exasperatedly.
“Where was I supposed to put it? There isn’t exactly much in the way of electrical outlets in this house.”
“Then what’s with the lamps?” I asked and pointed to the lamp in the corner of the room.
“It’s for show! The only lights that work in the house are the ones overhead,” he said and started to float.
“So the hanging lights in the kitchen, the light over the mirror in the bathroom, and the wall light over the bed in my room-”
“Are pure decoration!” he finished.
“What about the stove and the oven? Aren’t they electic too?”
“And totally useless!”
“Can’t you use your magic to put some electrical cables through the house?”
“Dammit Seth I’m a draconequuis not an electrician!” he yelled and promptly started laughing.
As I stood there watching him laugh his tail off, literally, I wondered just how the hell I was going to get through the month with him?
Author's Note
I realize that I may not be the best at descriptions so I have a few links for some of the rooms I described.
Here's part of the kitchen . The things on the counter top aren't in my kitchen.
Here's the bathroom .
Here's the bedroom .
The living room and entryway were original ideas. Big thanks to all those suggestions everyone gave me.
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
I'm Dreaming of a Big Cheeseburger
I was running. I was running as hard and as fast as I could. I looked back and saw that it was no use. It was catching up. I had another twenty seconds or so until it caught up with me. It would do horrible things to me. Things I dared not describe. It would-
“Why art thou running from a house cat?” I heard someone ask.
I turned my head and running alongside me to my left was Princess Luna.
“Just keep running! It’ll catch us!”
“But tis merely a cat,” she asked confused. “Besides this is merely a dream. It cannot harm you here.”
I slowed down and eventually stopped. This was a dream? Wait, I know this. I turned around and took a look at the cat. It had stopped running after me as well. It was completely black and had red slitted eyes. There were also parts of it that occasionally went translucent.
“Huh, I haven’t had this dream in a very long time. I wonder why I’m having it now?”
“Tis a strange cat as well. Perhaps a phobia made manifest?”
“Sort of. It’s from a show I once watched when I was a kid. It was about a black cat that went and killed people. Some of which were pretty gruesome. Not something and eleven year old should see.”
“I see. You must face your fear in order to overcome it.”
“I know. I overcame this a while ago. I realized that it wasn’t real and it couldn’t hurt me.”
I watched as the cat eventually faded away completely.
“Well done. You conquered your fear quite admirably.”
“Yeah, I would’ve done it many years before that if I didn’t have that stupid prophetic dream.”
“What prophetic dream?”
“Well, when I was younger I had a dream that I was sitting in a chair and there was this cat staring back at me. After a few seconds, it ran on the ground towards me, bounded up the chair, and took a seat right next to my head. It freaked me right out when years later the exact thing happened in the basement of my aunt’s house. I was staring at that cat for about fifteen seconds until I remembered that dream and as soon as I did, sure enough, that cat bounded up the chair and parked itself right next to my head on the back of the chair.
I was pretty freaked out for a while. I pretty much froze in place and kept looking straight at it. For all I knew that cat was ready to pounce at my jugular the second I made a move any which way. After a few minutes of staring at each other, I eventually was able to start moving away from it. It took another minute to get out of that chair and when I did I backed up to the stairs and went straight out of that basement.”
“Tis truly a harrowing tale,” she commented dryly.
“Oh cut it out Luna. It felt like my worst fear came right out of my dreams to try and kill me like Freddy Kruger.”
“Pray tell, what is this Freddy Kruger?”
“A dream creature that hunts you down in your dreams and kills you. If he manages to do so, then you die back in the real world.”
“This Freddy Kruger sounds like a horrible beast.”
“He is. Just be glad he isn’t real. Anyway, it’s nice to see you Luna. How are things?”
She looked at me confused.
“What things art thou taking about?”
“Nevermind,” I said waving her off. “It’s been quite a while since we’ve seen each other before I got back. You’ve been doing well I hope?”
“Indeed, I have. Though not much can harm an alicorn such as I.”
“True enough. Still, physical trauma isn’t the only kind of trauma.”
“I do not know thee well enough to talk about personal matters.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right. For the record, though, you have lots of people supporting you back where I’m from. Just don’t think that you’re not liked okay?”
She gave me a look that radiated discomfort.
“I’m still not sure I am fully comfortable with my life being a form of amusement. It seems… rather intrusive.”
“It’s just stories to us. It’s no different from reading a book. For all you know, the last fictional story you read is a real occurrence in an alternate world. Heck, I went to six other worlds that were just created from the minds of regular folks. I doubt any of them even realize that their work is something that actually exists out in the infinite reaches of the multiverse.”
She looked off to the side for a few moments before looking back at me.
“Perhaps you are correct. My view may be colored since this concerns me as well. Tis a conversation for another night.”
I was about to ask what she meant, but the environment around me started to dissipate.
“I’d love to have a chat with you again sometime. Sound good to you?” I asked.
“Again. Perhaps,” she said and then disappeared.
I shrugged and felt my consciousness fade away.
I awoke with a sense of grogginess. I could feel that I had not slept well, but when did I ever anymore? I stayed in bed for a few minutes just doing nothing before pulling off the covers and sliding out of bed. Honestly, for all the headaches the rest of that house had, what he did with my room made it about even.
I stood up and grabbed my glasses off of the end table. Putting them on I took a quick look around the room. I was glad that Discord had placed all the things I left here before he touched up the place on that dresser. I didn’t really want to go searching for them at some point or worse if he erased them from existence when he redid the place. Especially Oatmeal since he was as old as I was and I cared for that lovable teddy bear.
Walking over to that dresser, I opened the second drawer from the top. All my one pair of clothes were in there. I still didn’t have any other clothes to wear. There was also the problem that this place didn’t come with a washer or dryer so cleaning them would end up being quite troublesome. It really got me to think about all the clothes that all the ponies wore. Sure most of them didn’t wear clothes almost all the time. Still, they had to do so or Rarity wouldn’t have a job. The thing that interested me was what they did with them. Did ponies clean clothes or did they go through them like disposable diapers?
I shook that thought away since it was a terrible analogue. I only had to wear these today and hopefully I could get some new clothes from Rarity today. Normally, at least I think normally, whenever she finds new things to work on she puts in a lot of effort. I hope that went far into getting a new outfit.
After taking out my clothes and putting them on, I checked the time on my watch. I then mentally kicked myself since no one had yet given me the correct time. I also kicked myself for realizing that I hadn’t brought any of my diabetes supplies. No medicine, no testing strips, no nothing came with me.
“Holy crap am I stupid,” I said out loud. “I really needed to think this whole thing out before I came.”
Sighing at my own stupidity, I picked up and put on my hat and exited the room. As I closed the door behind me, I noticed a letter, or I should say scroll, on Discord’s door. I walked over to his door and pulled it off by what I think was gum attached to it. I unfurled it and began to read. Or I would have if it didn’t start reading out loud for me in Discord’s voice.
Dear Seth,
I’m afraid I won’t be able to join you for breakfast this morning. Twilight decided to be a little tattle tale and let Celestia know about the fake heads I had hanging in my room. Needless to say, the princesses have asked me to swing by the castle for a chat about it. I should be back some time before nightfall. Or not. Whenever.
Your Roomie
Discord
Ah crap. Discord took off and now I’m stuck in a house without food. Sure, I got by last night thanks to him whipping up a couple of grilled cheese sandwiches and a glass of Pepsi. Now though? He made up the entire place and didn’t leave any food in it. I guess I’m glad that there’s running water and heat to the place. It’d be pretty crappy without it. Still, no food is going to be an issue.
I walked on past his room and into the living room. I honestly wasn’t sure what I was going to do for the day. Yeah, I could go outside and just wing it, but I really didn’t want to be anywhere near the ponies just yet. They didn’t have any memory of me anymore and they were back to square one with their preconceptions of me. The stares I got from them yesterday told all I needed to. I’m not sure about how they’ll react to me without the others around me. Heh. Why would I not know? I’m sure I’d get the Zecora treatment from them.
A knock on the front door stopped my line of thinking. I turned my head to the door and noticed something quite odd. For some reason, Pinkie Pie’s face was now pictured on the door. I didn’t notice it there yesterday when I closed the door after Twilight. Did Discord do that?
Wait.
“Who is it?”
“It’s your brand new friend Pinkie Pie!” I heard a very chipper voice reply.
Huh. The door has knocker i.d. That’s new. I walked over to the door and opened it up for her.
“Come on in if you want Pinkie.”
She went and hopped in past me and into the living room. I shut the door behind her and walked in as well.
“So what brings you to my house at whatever time it is now?”
“I came over to invite you to your very own ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ party! I’ve already sent all the invitations to everypony in Ponyville to welcome you in style! All that’s left is to give you your invitation.”
She then reached into the saddlebags that I didn’t even notice and pulled out my invitation.
“Here you go!”
After a thank you, I opened up the invitation and took a look at it.
You are hereby cordially invited to: Seth the human’s ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ party extravaganza. Please RSVP with Pinkie Pie ASAP so that you’re not LATE!
I didn’t see where or when so I flipped it over.
Party is to be held at Sugarcube Corner
Party starts at 6 p.m.
“Thanks again for the invitation. I’d offer something for you to eat, but I’ve got nothing anywhere in the house.”
“You don’t have to offer me anything, silly. In fact, why don’t you come to Sugarcube Corner?”
She looked around real quick and then leaned in conspiratorially to me.
“You can try out the cupcakes early,” she whispered to me.
I stifled a chuckle and thought about it for a second. Yeah, I wanted to try out those cupcakes again. I normally don’t like cupcakes, but the one I did get from her the last time I was here was really delicious. Still, I had a problem now that I didn’t have then. Well, at least I was more aware of it this time.
“I wish I could, Pinkie, but I’m diabetic so I can’t.”
“Diabetic? What’s that?”
As she asked, she tilted her head slightly and put one ear flat to her head. I only mention this because it was both funny and d’awful at the same time.
“Well, in basic terms… well it means that the food I eat can’t have very much sugar in it. Or any at all in some cases. Many kinds of desserts are like that. I just can’t handle them well is all.”
“Well, we can serve some other food like… um… well… what kind of food can you eat?”
What food indeed? I can’t just go and say meat. There’s also the fact that I don’t think that ponies have sugar substitutes readily available. Did they even have sugar substitutes?
“I don’t really know, Pinkie. Like I said, things like cupcakes, ice cream, cookies, chocolate, pie, cake, all sorts of things like that have a lot of sugar in them. My body has trouble breaking them down after I’ve eaten them and if I have too much I’ll just start to shut down.”
“But if you can’t eat anything I’m serving, how will you enjoy the party?”
“I don’t need to eat anything to enjoy a party. I’m not exactly a party animal anyway.”
I watched in pure shock as she ripped the invitation from my hand and put it in her saddlebag.
“I can’t in good conscious throw a party that the pony, er person, that it’s meant for not enjoying it to it’s fullest. Don’t you worry! I’m going to come up with some brand new recipes for you to enjoy and then I’m going to throw you an even bigger party to make up for the one you didn’t get today! Just you wait and see!”
With that said, she flew by me and straight out of the house.
“I never even saw her open the door. How’d she do- You know what? It’s Pinkie. But I can’t believe she just postponed a party for me. Is this a sign of the end of the world or something? Damn, I should have said that when she was here. That would’ve been funnier.”
My stomach took that moment to remind me that I had yet to eat.
“Maybe I should’ve just gone and ate. Screw the consequences and all that. Being responsible sucks.”
I closed the door that Pinkie left open and headed into the kitchen. I looked in the cabinets until I found a glass to use. I grabbed it, went to the sink, filled it up, and drank the whole glass down. After slightly gagging at the taste, I put it down next to the sink and went back into the living room. There I just decided to lie down on the couch.
And there I was. I was in Equestria and instead of going out on some adventure or having conversations with ponies, I was laying on a couch doing nothing. How exciting was that? Not at all that’s how much.
“I am such a loser.”
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
Whatever Happened to the Good Olde Days?
“By all that is good with the world, why am I still not doing anything?” I asked while holding my arms straight into the air.
I wasn’t kidding. I was still laying down on the couch two and a half hours later. I still hadn’t eaten anything. No one had come by since Pinkie Pie left. Discord still hadn’t returned. I was busy being so lazy that I just didn’t want to get up. It was a perfect storm of apathy.
As such, I was immensely grateful that the monotony was broken up by a knock on the door. I turned my gaze quickly to the door. I was glad I did as I was rewarded by seeing a swirling visage appear on the door. It quickly formed into the face of Twilight Sparkle.
“If you want to come in, the door is open Twilight,” I yelled.
The door was enveloped in a purple hue and swung open to reveal the ‘sparkle princess’.
“How did you know it was me?” she asked as she slowly came inside.
“Discord left an enchantment on it to make a picture of the face of whoever knocked on it appear,” I responded in a manner that I hoped she understood since I almost didn’t.
She closed the door behind her and we both watched as the face slowly faded away.
“Interesting,” she said.
“So," I started, knowing that she was seconds away from that door becoming the only thing she cared about, “what brings you here today? Just here to keep an eye on me?”
“Well, that too,” she said blushing slightly. “I also wanted to ask you a few questions.”
“Of course. Well, at least it’s something to do,” I said as I moved to a sitting position. “Have a seat.”
She walked over to one of the chairs across from the couch and hopped up into the seat.
“So, what did you want to ask me?”
“Well, I wanted to start with what happened with Pinkie Pie? She postponed a party. She’s never done that since I’ve known her.”
“I told her that the food she’d be serving would slowly kill me.”
Twilight looked understandably shocked.
“For the record,” I started before she had a chance to respond, “she was talking about desserts and baked goods and the like. While kind of true, it’s more of the fact that I can’t handle large amounts of carbohydrates in my system. It can cause swelling, loss of sensation in my extremities, loss of eyesight, decrease the effectiveness of my immune system and a few other things I can’t quite remember.”
“It sounds like you’re just not taking care of yourself.”
“Yeah, I don’t deny that really. Still, she said she’s going to try to make something that I can actually eat before she throws me the party.”
“That’s very considerate of her.”
“Agreed.”
“The other questions I have for you are from what you were talking about last night.”
“You mean about the memory thing,” I finished for her.
“Exactly. I spoke to the others and they don’t remember ever seeing anything like you before. Well, I didn’t get much time to ask Pinkie since she was rushing all over town to tell everypony that the party was postponed.”
I chuckled at hearing that.
“Did any of them start yelling ‘It’s the end of the world’ because that would have been funny.”
“No, but they are starting to get very curious about you if you could make that happen.”
Eeeehck. That sounds like they’re going to be giving me an even more measuring eye than before. Maybe sticking around the house is the right thing to do after all.
Which is right when my stomach growls loud enough for things in the Everfree Forest to hear.
I kid you not. It may have sounded like the normal sound of a stomach rumble. However, the decibel level that it put off was intense. It was enough that I saw one of the lamps move a bit. I thought it was really cliche, but this was a cartoon world. Physics can sometimes be a laughing stock around these parts.
“Wow, you must be pretty hungry,” stated Twilight.
Oh wow that was even more cliche.
“Yeah, I haven’t exactly eaten today.”
“But it’s already past noon. Didn’t you eat any breakfast?”
“There’s no food anywhere in the house. Discord was nice enough to make something last night, but he wasn’t here this morning. He had to go see the princess. Why’d you tell on him anyway? I said he was just trying to get you riled up.”
“All I did was tell the Princess about what had happened. I haven’t had the chance to get to know you, but I still don’t trust Discord yet. Even if he was trying to get me riled up, that doesn’t change anything.”
I suppressed my urge to groan right there. She hadn’t learned a thing from that. She let Discord get to her even after I told her about it. That ended up snowballing into him getting summoned and me not getting breakfast. Probably I won’t get lunch either.
“Still, it’s indirectly my fault that you didn’t have anything to eat today. Why don’t we head into town and we can both get something there?”
My desire to stay away from the terrible stares of ponies flared up quite fiercely at that point. They were quickly beaten senseless by my hunger-addled brain.
“That sounds fine, but I don’t have any money right now.”
“No problem. I can take care of it.”
I really wanted to say something, but I had no dog in that fight. Instead, I did what I always did. I nodded and went with it. The two of us got up and slowly headed out.
“Normally I’d take you to Sugarcube Corner since Pinkie likes helping out ponies who are hungry, but I think I’ll try someplace else instead.”
I nodded as I stepped out into the brightly lit afternoon. I closed the door and adjusted my hat while following Twilight into town. It did bring up a point I had wondered about.
“Before you were a princess, what exactly did you do for money?”
“As Princess Celestia’s personal student, I was given a research fund that I could live off of.”
“I suppose that does make sense.”
I briefly thought of the fact that Twilight was getting student loans and chuckled a bit.
“What’s so funny?”
“Nothing,” I said evasively. “Anyway, do you have a place where I could get something to eat in mind?’
“Not yet I don’t. What does your species eat anyway? I never can see your teeth so I can’t make any assumptions about it.”
“It’s okay. Humans are omnivorous in nature. We can eat some things that are vegetables, but we also need to support that with proteins from meat as well.”
Yeah, I didn’t mention that we could get that from beans or peanuts or things, but the carnivore in me didn’t really feel like saying it at the time. Sure, I’ll probably end up having to get that as my primary intake of proteins at some point if I stayed here, but whatever. I’m pretty sure I’m going to have to sacrifice Pepsi as well and I’m addicted to the stuff like crack.
“So if you’re omnivorous could you eat a daffodil and daisy sandwich because I know this place that makes a really good one!”
“Well, there are some flowers that are toxic to humans. Unfortunately, I’m not a botanist so I don’t which ones those are.”
“I see,” she said contemplatively. “Well, I’m not entirely sure where we can go. Can you eat hay?”
“No,” I stated bluntly.
“Hmm, maybe I can have Applejack get you some apples to eat?”
“I guess I can do that.”
I looked around and noticed that we had made it to the outskirts of Ponyville.
“I wish we would have thought of that earlier. We already passed by her place.”
“We can just head over to her stall in the market,” she said calmly. “Come on.”
As we began to walk through Ponyville, I noticed something quite odd. The place was a ghost town. I had a feeling that I was getting the Zecora treatment, but I had no idea why. There were plenty of ponies who saw me yesterday and I’m being escorted by Twilight Sparkle for crying out loud!
“You know, they’re not normally like this,” said Twilight sheepishly.
“I know that, but what I don’t get is the reaction this time being so different than last time.”
“It is rather odd considering that I’m out here too,” she said while looking from place to place.
Several minutes of silent walking later, we both made it to the marketplace area. It too was nearly deserted. I say nearly because we still spotted Applejack manning her cart like normal. As she spotted us she waved us over to her. Seeing someone being friendly, finally, we walked over to her cart with great relief.
“Howdy there partner!” she said quite cheerfully. “Ah don’t suppose I could interest you two into buyin some apples. Nopony else seems to ah showed up to buy anything at all. In fact,” she looked around before continuing, “nopony seemed to show up at all.”
“That’s very odd,” Twilight pondered out loud. “Why wouldn’t anypony show up?”
“Ah don’t rightly know. Other than you the only pony I’ve seen today is Pinkie Pie. She showed up on my farm and gave me an invitation for a party, and then she showed up just before I was headed to town sayin’ that the party she was goin’ tah have was postponed. It was real surprisin’ since ah don’t think I’ve ever heard of Pinkie postponing a party before.”
“I don’t even think she’s cancelled one either,” I added while cupping my chin in thought. “Even that party she was going to throw for Gummy for the day after his birthday was still held if I recall, even if it was a bit weird.”
As I remembered that little spot of weirdness, I noticed the two of them looking at me. Well, staring at me with odd looks is more like it.
“What?”
“Do you think that might be it?” asked Twilight to Applejack.
“I reckon it might be. It’d make sense.”
“I think I’ll just wait until this sense of enlightenment trickles down to me,” I added.
Twilight looked back to me and smiled a warm smile.
“We think that the townsponies are scared of you because you somehow made Pinkie postpone her party.”
You know, you never really get some things until some says it out loud for you. Then, well, then you feel like an idiot for not seeing it before. Makes me think of what would happen if Akane ever saw Ryouga turn into P-Chan. She gets hints on a regular basis and can never put two and two together. I wonder what else I may have missed?
“Seth!” yelled Twilight.
I jumped slightly and returned my attention to her.
“Sorry, I got lost in thought. Still, yes that does make sense that they would be on edge about me. I kinda like it though. I’m not really keen on being the center of attention.”
“But how will you get to know the ponies of Ponyville if you don’t talk with them?”
“I wasn’t told I had to. I’m kind of a loner back where I’m from anyway. I barely have any friends at all. That being said, I guess this overreaction is actually kind of a good thing.”
Although, I thought as I closed my eyes and cupped my chin again, now that I think about it, something else is bugging me now. Why hasn’t Lyra shown up ? The last time I was here she did all that she could to find me. Despite that, she hasn’t shown up at my house or anywhere I am yet. I guess I could chalk it up to her not knowing where I live, but it did have my name on the invitation. Wait, did it have that I was a human on there ? Great, now I can’t remember if it did or not. I suppose that Pinkie may not have given her an invitation before she gave me mine. Wait, if that was the case then there would be at least some ponies out and about. Well, I suppose it doesn’t take much for ponies to panic around here anyways. She could have not heard about me or gotten an invitation yet and just had been swept in the widespread panic. It must have been early too since that all happened before Applejack got to town. It must also have been quick since all the ponies had disappeared before she made it into town.
I opened my eyes and looked back down to them.
“Hey, do you know-”
“We don’t know where Lyra is,” said both of them in unison; interrupting me.
“Wha… how did you-”
“You were thinking out loud the whole time,” Twilight said; interrupting me once again.
“I see.”
“You seem awfully hung up ‘bout Lyra there.”
“It’s a weird story that I’d rather not talk about.”
“Anyway, Applejack, could you go around town and convince everypony to come out of their homes? I’m going to take Seth to the library so that nopony gets scared of him in the meantime.”
“Sure thing sugarcube. I ain’t exactly gonna get any customers with this going on anyway.”
With that, she put a closed sign on her cart and trotted off towards one of the houses. The two of us started off towards a different part of town. After a minute of walking, I stopped in my tracks with a dumb realization.
“Twilight, we didn’t get any apples from Applejack.”
I saw her stop as well. Then, I watched as she facehooved. It was kind of a strange thing to see, but a little funny all things considered.
“I suppose we’ll just see if there is anything you can eat back at the library,” she said as we continued our walk.
“I guess so,” I added.
“Oh delightful!” I heard a voice exclaim. “Just the stallion I was on my way to see!”
I turned to look and noticed Rarity coming towards us.
“Hello Rarity,” said Twilight warmly. “Is there something you need Seth for?”
“Indeed there is. I finished all the design work for the garments I intend to make and I wanted to get his opinion on them before I got started.”
“Well, that sounds great,” I replied, “but I was hoping to get something to eat today and I was headed with Twilight to do so.”
“We can do that while at my place. I have so many different designs for you to look at!”
Eegh, that kind of thing is really not my cup of tea. Still, if I can get something to eat I guess it’ll be the price I have to pay. I suppose I’ll just tough it out. How bad could it be?
I mentally facepalmed. Hell, even I knew I was going to regret thinking that.
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
Problems and Their Weird Little Solutions
Well, it was about as boring as I thought, but overall my time at Rarity’s place wasn’t too bad. It was pretty much what I was expecting it to be. After Rarity escorted both Twilight and myself there, we were offered something to snack on. Unfortunately for me, everything she had was based around some sort of hay recipe. I don’t really know if it was edible for me, but I honestly didn’t think so. The only thing I could accept was the tea she offered. Of course, while I did accept it, it was still tea. Personally, I can’t stand any drinks that are served hot or even warm. Sure, I will try them. I don’t want to hate something I haven’t tried despite doing exactly that until I think about three or so years ago.
Anyway, after she gave me the tea she went to go get the designs she had made. I tried the tea while she was gone and, like I thought, it tasted funny. Now, despite the temperature making it disagreeable to me, I got an aftertaste that actually seemed halfway decent. I considered putting it somewhere to let it get cooled down, but I think it may have been considered rude so I just left it be.
As soon as she got back, the whirlwind of questions began. ‘What do you think of this? Would this compliment that? Is there too much trim on this? Would you feel comfortable wearing something like this? Should I add a little something on here to compliment your skin tone?’
I honestly wasn’t sure how to answer all the questions that she was hurling my way. I know what I was comfortable in and that was it. Asking her to create something that I liked while conforming to her sense of style was a bit difficult. She liked pomp and circumstance in nearly every little thing she made. I like things dialed down and really comfortable to wear without looking silly to me. In other words, our styles were very different.
Twilight being who she is kept things from becoming too heated between us. I don’t think it was getting that bad between the two of us, but I wasn’t the observer of the discussion so I just went with it. After some discourse with Twilight involved, we came to the agreement that because I wasn’t showing off to the world that it would be better if my normal clothes were more practical in design. To make up for this, Rarity was going to make me something more artistic for when I needed to be at such a formal event. With the details settled, we took a few more minutes going over the materials.
Fortunately, or maybe unfortunately since I’ll never really know, the issue with the material was brought short when a new issue came up.
“Are you feeling alright?” Twilight asked me.
“I think so,” I replied confusedly, “though I am feeling a little hot.”
“Okay. The reason I was asking is because your skin is turning a bit more pink all over.”
I quickly took a look at my arm. Sure enough, my arm was looking a bit more pink in hue. I prodded it slightly and figured out what was happening very quickly.
“Oh terrific! I got a damn sunburn!” I voiced full of anger.
“A sunburn?” Twilight asked with a tone of confusion. “What’s that? Is it bad?”
“Somewhat,” I answered in a gruff voice. “Basically, if I’m out in the sun too long the UV rays will damage my skin leaving it red and all dried out. It’s painful, annoying, and can lead to health problems if untreated just like any burn.”
“That doesn’t sound good at all,” commented Twilight.
“Nope. I don’t suppose you have any aloe vera do you?”
“No,” Rarity responded, “I ran out and haven’t replenished my stock, but I do know somepony who does.”
“That’s good to hear,” I said with a slightly improved attitude. “You think they’ll lend some to me?”
“Of course, darling! Aloe and Lotus are some of the nicest ponies I know! Let’s head over there right now.”
Without having to be told again, we all left for the spa. As soon as I was outside, I could feel the difference on my skin. It was way more noticeable and irritable than before. As much as I wanted to just stay indoors and away from the sun, I knew that this was only going to get worse if I did nothing.
Knowing that things could get worse, I let Rarity lead me to the spa. At least, I assumed we were headed to the spa. I knew who Aloe and Lotus were already and I doubt we were headed for their house. Then again I’ve been wrong a few times before so I just let Rarity lead me to wherever she was going. It didn’t stop me from thinking we were going to the spa at any rate.
“Do you think they’ll be open right now since all the ponies have locked themselves away?”
“Don’t you worry. Aloe and Lotus are never too busy to see me or my friends.”
“Somehow that doesn’t surprise me at all. What does surprise me is why I got a sunburn now,” I said as I stared at my sun damaged skin. “I mean the last time I was here I can explain with magic protection. This time though? I have no idea. I mean, I was outside a lot yesterday and I didn’t get burned from that.”
“Well, you said it’s a sunburn right?” Twilight asked.
“Yes I did,” I said a bit impatiently.
“Well, yesterday was cloudy so there wasn’t any sun then to burn you.”
“That doesn’t make any sense. Clouds only block, like thirty percent of the UV rays emitted by the sun. I get burned really easily so I still should have been sunburned yesterday.”
“Well, if they’re strong enough to be used by pegasi, then they’re strong enough to block these UV rays.”
“Yeah, magic BS is the answer. Why shouldn’t it be?” I said with as much sarcasm as I could muster. “Still, this is making me wish I had the same spells as the last time I was here in Ponyville.”
“I don’t really remember you being here in Ponyville before,” Rarity said confusedly. When was that exactly?”
“It was a few weeks after Shining Armor got married. You just don’t remember since there’s some kind of memory shenanigans going on.”
“I’m still having trouble with that,” Twilight said. “I managed to talk with everypony about that and they said that they don’t remember you at all. Other than Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, and Discord, nopony at all seems to even know who you are. I would think that if I had my memory altered that Princess Celestia would try to recover it with a memory spell.”
“She did. Apparently, it worked but only temporarily. She said she tried it a few times and each time the duration was shorter. She realized that because it wasn’t working that it would be better for me to try instead. At least I think so.”
“I guess I understand,” Twilight said cautiously.
“I know I’m not the most reliable kind of person,” I said and then ruffled the top of her mane, “but I’ve got a pretty good track record here so I can’t help but think that maybe I have a good shot at helping you remember me.”
As I stopped ruffling her mane, I got a pointed look from Rarity that was most unpleasant. It was probably because I was in reach of her too and she didn’t want me to touch her mane.
“Don’t worry Rarity, I wouldn’t dare touch your mane,” I said voicing my thoughts aloud.
She smiled brightly at me before turning back to the way she was walking.
“Still, what could be causing us to lose such specific memories? The only being I know of that can do such a thing is Discord.”
“It couldn’t be him,” I answered. “If it was, he would never bring the subject of the lost memories here to be remembered. He’s much too ostentatious for that to be something he thought up.”
“I suppose so. That still leaves us with a whole slew of questions to answer.”
“I wouldn’t worry about it too much. You aren’t forgetting me this time so whatever happened before must not be going on this time.”
“Or it could just be waiting until you leave to happen again.”
“Yeah, that’s true too I suppose.”
As I said that, I noticed what looked like the spa come into view. It was a pretty distinctive building compared to most of the ones that were strewn about the town. The pink, circus-like roofs and the large windows were quite distinctive. Even more noticeable was the sign on the front of the building that showcased a pony with a flowing mane and tail next to some green flowers. Since I had never heard of green flowers, green on every other part but not the petals, I decided that this had to be either a spa or an art studio with the latter as a far off possibility.
“Don’t you worry. I would never want to forget the bonds that I share with any of my friends. We’ll figure out a way to get our memories back one way or another.”
“I agree with Twilight. Why don’t we talk about it a bit more while we’re getting you to feel better?”
I nodded as we continued on into the spa itself. A little jingle of the bell on the door was the first thing I noticed. It was more of a semi-traditional waiting room inside. There were a few small couches for ponies to sit in, some plants were strewn around to bring some life to the place, and there were a few odd ovoid lights hanging from the ceiling. The table in the room threw me off a bit by what looked like towels sitting on it. I never did find out what they really were, unfortunately, since we went straight to the reception desk.
“Ladies! We have a spa emergency here!” yelled Rarity.
I managed to get a gasp from the twin ponies that were standing behind the desk.
“He needs some Aloe immediately!” she continued with.
Unfortunately for me, my brain decided to be a tool and make an obvious joke.
“I would be careful of what you say in the presence of a lady. Especially one who is doing you a favor out of her generous heart.”
“I’m sorry. It just sort of slipped out of my mouth before I had a chance to think about it.”
She smiled like she understood, but I still wondered about it anyway.
“I’m terribly sorry to come in without an appointment, but we need some aloe for his burns.”
For the record, I’m not sure which of those twins are Aloe and which is Lotus. The only difference between them is that they have alternating colors for their mane and coat. That would be enough for me to identify them if I actually knew which one was which in the first place. Sadly, that was not the case.
At any rate, the twin at the counter had the light blue coat and the pink mane, and after hearing Rarity’s request she simply smiled and led us through another door. Behind that door was a long hallway with several different doors along the way. Each door led to a different room with a different purpose to them. One was a steam room with a stone heated center. Another room seemed to have tables with holes in them for what I believed to be massages. Yet another room seemed to have some kind of hybrid chairs to maintain both their mane and tail.
The room that we were eventually led to had what looked like small tub-like holes in the floor. I recognized them quickly as those little pools that people took mud baths in. The ones in this room, however, were filled with a green, almost turquoise, goo.
“So this whole tub is filled with aloe?” I asked.
The mare smiled and nodded.
“There’s more than just aloe in there,” Rarity answered in kind. “There’s also a few other herbs in there to give it a more soothing feeling. Go ahead and try it.”
I nodded and walked over to the closest pool. I slowly knelt down in front of it and examined it closely. I was surprised as I smelled the distinct aroma of potpourri coming from it. That oddity stopped me short from scooping some out and applying it to my burns. Of course, it didn’t help that I really hate applying anything to my skin. It just feels disgusting to me.
“Oh there’s nothing wrong with it.”
That was all the warning I received before I felt a hoof on my back. Seconds later, I was diving head first into the tub of unknown goo. Holy crap was that a weird feeling. It wasn’t like water where it just flowed freely around you. This gunk had a more viscous feel to it. It was a lot like getting dunked in Jello, and like Jello it was very hard to move in it without a solid purchase to use. Fortunately, the tub wasn’t that deep and I managed to push myself up from the bottom. It wasn’t until later that I thought if the tub had been any shallower that I may have hit my head and drowned in that junk. That wasn’t what I was thinking then, however. What I was thinking at the time was more like being very upset at whomever had pushed me in while I was still wearing my clothes, hat, and glasses. As I stood up, I took off my glasses, wiped the gook off my face, and looked around.
“Who?” I asked in a flat tone.
I saw a blur of a pink hoof go up. I guessed that the other twin had shown up.
“What in the hell possessed you to think that shoving me into a tub of goo with all my clothes on was a good idea?” I asked with the same even tone while suppressing my desire to just start shouting.
“Well, you looked like you didn’t want to get in even though I’ve been here plenty of times and I knew there wasn’t anything wrong with it so I thought that getting you in there would be a good thing since you were turning as red as Big Macintosh when you’re not supposed to be as red as Big Macintosh so I decided to let you know that there was nothing wrong with it by letting you see it first hoff and it must have worked because you look like you normal peachy self! Isn’t that great?”
Well, I know for sure who that is now.
“Pinkie,” I said slowly feeling more exacerbated, “I only have this one pair of clothes until tomorrow, and now I have to walk around town covered in this stuff. That’s not even getting into how this is my only hat and even more so that these are my only pair of glasses and I can’t even get them clean now.”
“I’m sorry,” she responded sadly.
I still wanted to get mad. I really did. But knowing that she didn’t mean any harm by it and the fact that she apologized for it made me unable to do so. Instead, I just took a deep breath and let out a big sigh.
“I suppose I can’t really do anything other than forgive you. Well, I could get Rainbow Dash to help with a prank to get even, but I’m not normally the pranking type.”
Suddenly, the blur got bigger and I felt a tightness around my torso. I was expecting some pain since my arms were caught up in the hug, but it never came. That was when I backtracked to what Pinkie had said. She said before that I was turning as red as Big Mac. Then, after I got out, I looked like my normal self. As Pinkie broke off her hug, I moved my arm in front of my face. Sure enough, it looked normal once again like I had never been burned at all. I felt immense relief, followed by immense confusion.
“Just what is in that stuff? It can’t just be aloe vera.”
“The mixture we use is a trade secret. I’m afraid we cannot divulge that information,” I heard someone say in a very sweet voice.
Heh, I was beginning to think that she was mute. Oh, and then I remembered what Rarity had said. She did say there was more than just aloe in it. Stupid me for forgetting something from not even five minutes ago.
“Still, there’s no way I should’ve had my burns heal that quickly. At least not without some kind of magical healing powers.”
“You mean like a doctor?” I think Twilight asked.
“No, I mean like Wolverine-type healing powers. And no, Twilight, it’s a cultural reference, not the actual animal.”
I watched as a blurry purple hoof went back down.
“The way this happened isn’t physically possible. There must be something in this stuff that does, well, this,” I said gesturing at myself.
“Our treatments are designed with ponies in mind. We don’t normally recommend our treatments to other species, especially ones we have never dealt with before, but since Miss Rarity was the one to ask for it, as well as yourself, we made an exception. We do hope you’re not upset with the treatment.”
“I’m in no way upset with it. Since it was made for ponies, I think I’ll just chalk it up to magic shenanigans. At least I’m not burned anymore and that’s what I wanted in the first place. Still, can I have a towel?”
“Of course,” I heard her say and then leave.
“By the way,” I think it was Rarity who started talking, “how did you know who Aloe was? She and her sister aren’t widely known outside of Ponyville. Were you being honest about coming to Ponyville before?”
“Of course I was being honest. I was also being honest about meeting you and your friends before. You just forgot about me.”
I heard an enormous gasp in front me.
“We… forgot about you?”
Oh crap that’s right. Pinkie has a thing about forgetting ponies… and me I guess too.
“Well, nearly every being in Equestria forgot about me so don’t feel bad that it was just you,” said trying to calm her down.
Unfortunately, it had the opposite effect.
“That’s terrible! Don’t you worry Seth! I’ll do my best to get to know you all over again and then I swear I won’t forget you again and we can become the greatest of friends!”
“Yeah, that sounds nice. I think it’ll be nice to get to know you all on this side of the screen too.”
“What do you mean ‘this side of the screen’?” asked Twilight.
“You do remember that you are part of a t.v. show right?” I asked skeptically.
“Of course we know,” she told me as if it were an obvious fact of life. “How is it that you know?”
“Well, how did you find out?”
“We were told about it,” she said smartly.
“And who told you?” I asked hoping to be led in.
“I… I don’t remember. Do either of you?”
“I’m afraid I don’t Twilight,” responded Rarity.
“I’m not really sure either, though it feels like I’ve known for a long time,” Pinkie explained.
“We don’t seem to remember, but I get the feeling that you know.”
“Of course I know. It was me after all.”
“I thought as much. You were alluding to it a lot. That still raises so many questions. Why can’t we remember you if you were part of such an important realization of our lives?”
“I don’t know. I wish I could just snap my fingers and you would get a kickstart to your memory,” I said and snapped my fingers to illustrate my point.
Of course, it was a moot point since I no longer had my magic. It was too bad. Magic just seemed to make everything better.
“Maybe if you described your events from the last time you were here, then it might just help us remember,” Twilight surmised.
“That’s not a bad idea,” I replied.
I reached into my pocket and pulled out the coin. I was instantly glad that none of that slop got into my pockets. That could’ve been really bad on my DS. Well, if I had brought it and it had gotten in. I need to stop overthinking that.
“Well, it all started one fateful night with Discord and this coin…”
Author's Note
Wind is not my friend. Wind blew away a small portion of my work that had to be rewritten and then it almost blew away my ending for the chapter. Bad wind!
Anyway, I had gotten some good feedback from one of the comments and it made me remember something too. Does anybody see anything wrong with this? I don't mean if you like this or if your thinking 'he's a human in Equestria so of course there's something wrong'. What I mean is does anybody find any plot holes or things that should be one way but are too far away from that to be ignored. It's something I want to bring up for later and a running tally might actually come in handy. In short, if you see something don't be silent. Let me know. Messages preferred, but comments are fine too.
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
Kickstart My Heart (And Brain)
Well, telling a story takes time. Obviously, the longer the tale, the more time it takes. Did I just blow your minds? Well, unless you’re five then the answer is no. Since it took me a while to talk, there were several things that we got around to doing.
The first thing I did was get the towel from the pony who returned and wiped off that aloe crap. It worked well enough, but my clothes were still soaked in it and wouldn’t come out. After that, they gave me a little tub of the stuff and we got out of their hair, or however you want that expression to go with pony memes.
The problem with leaving then was that it was still plenty sunny outside. Thankfully, Rarity yanked a parasol from some distance away. Seriously, I never saw where she got that from but it just came into view all of the sudden and at a high speed right up until it got close to her. She then let me borrow it for the time being. I’ll admit that I looked pretty silly with a white and purple parasol, but I did not want to get burned again.
We then started walking. I’m not exactly sure where we were going since it seem like we were walking for quite a bit without arriving anywhere. Still, the entire time that all of that was happening I kept up my story time with them.
“And that’s when I turned visible and we both yelled ‘Surprise!’”
“That was the best surprise ever! You should have seen your faces!” Pinkie exclaimed.
“That’s exactly what you said last time too,” I replied.
“I know! I couldn’t help it! The look on their faces was one of the best I’ve ever seen!”
Her statement left me a little confused.
“Wait. What do you mean you know?”
She quickly got in front of me and stood on her hind legs while placing her front hooves on my chest. I was surprised not only by that but also by the fact that she didn’t get up into my face as well.
“I did it! I remember what happened! I remember you!”
“Diszawhat now?”
“Wait, you remember?” asked Twilight. “How did you remember?”
“It was when he was talking about the two of us planning a brand new surprise for the party. It felt like I could imagine it and then it was like fwoosh! I just did!”
I was so happy that I teared up and completely missed the next few things that were said. I don’t think I actually cried, but I wouldn’t have cared even if I had. I didn’t want any of them to forget me and I felt that this was an important step towards making that happen. Acting on my newfound joy, I reached down slightly and scooped up Pinkie into a hug.
Or at least I tried to. I found out very quickly that while they are still the same weight from last time, I am nowhere near as strong. I was just lucky that she still had a good balance going or we would have both fallen over. Instead, I just settled for getting on one knee and getting that hug from there instead.
“I’m so glad you remember who I am.”
“But how?” Twilight asked. “It doesn’t make any sense! How can you just spontaneously remember something like that?”
“Isn’t that just how amnesia works?” I asked her while wiping my eyes.
“Yes, but this isn’t amnesia. This is an active force that’s blocking our memories. Something like that shouldn’t be affected by just talking about your experiences from before.”
“Isn’t that basically what you did to get rid of Discord’s influence on you?”
“No, I used magic to restore everypony.”
“Not them. You. When you were affected by Discord’s power, Celestia sent you back all the friendship reports that you had sent her in order to help restore you.”
“I… suppose that’s true,” she said reluctantly.
“Terrific. However, Pinkie is the only one whose memory has returned. There’s still the rest of you that haven’t gotten over it yet.”
“I agree,” said Twilight. “I think what we need to do next is figure out just exactly how Pinkie’s memory was returned to her and see if we can replicate it with the rest of us.”
“While that does sound absolutely riveting,” Rarity said, “I do need to get back to work if I want to finish up his wardrobe by tomorrow. There’s also a few things I need to touch up for my delivery to Manehatten tomorrow. I’m afraid they both require my attention right now. I bid you all farewell.”
After some pleasant goodbyes, we continued onwards towards whatever destination we were headed.
“Well,” I continued from where we left off, “maybe what I was doing was working? I mean I got a lot more descriptive with the party part. Maybe if I got descriptive enough with a part that you were involved in then that might work.”
“I’m not so sure,” Twilight said lacking confidence, “but it’s the only theory we have right now anyway. It isn’t like it would hurt to try I suppose.”
“Oh! I have the perfect one in mind. How about the time where you explained magic to me in detail?”
“That would be something I told you,” she replied. “I doubt it would work unless it was something that you told me like you did with Pinkie.”
“Hmm, that’s a good point,” I said while rubbing my chin. “Besides, I doubt I could do that lecture justice anyway. I guess it wasn’t the perfect one after all. Well, the next thing I could try would be the magic blast incident.”
“Was that event the one that you said spooked the town?” asked Twilight.
“Yes, it was.”
“That might work, I guess. Go ahead and try it.”
“Well, let’s see. It started when I was complaining about having a headache. You told me that it might be from magic buildup so you teleported us out to some area outside of Ponyville to work on that. Let’s see… You told me to concentrate my power into my horn and corrected you because I used my hand instead. After that, I concentrated my power and waited until it was ready and then shot it at some boulder. The blast hit it and caused it to crack a little bit.”
“That doesn’t really sound like something that would cause panic,” Twilight said bluntly.
“Well, after I did that you said something about it taking less time than it did with unicorns and I then said that I wanted to try again. When I did, I dropped into a stance and gathered my energy again. However, this time I gathered a lot more energy so I could imitate a blast I had seen someone else use. As soon as I was ready, I fired that beam towards the boulder. Unfortunately, it plowed straight through the boulder, went along for about half a mile, and then detonated in a brilliant flash which caused the ground to shake up and had enough air pressure to knock you down. There was quite a bit of dust and dirt in the air from that and the both of us were covered in it. Then, I remember you saying-”
“Are you CRAZY!?!” yelled Twilight.
“Ha! Yeah that’s exactly what you yelled at me,” I said with a bit of a grin.
“What were you thinking when you let loose a blast of that size? That could have destroyed a lot of property and injured a great many ponies!”
“Like I said then, that’s why I-”
“That’s why you wanted to go somewhere where no ponies would get hurt!” She exclaimed; finishing my sentence. “Seth, it worked! I remember! And do you have any idea how many ponies I had to talk to in order to get them to calm down?” she asked while getting a bit upset.
I honestly didn’t care what she had to say. Well, within reason of course. Still, I wasn’t thinking about that as I took that moment to carelessly glomp onto her. Pinkie joined in as well.
“I know this is nice, but this isn’t the time for it,” said Twilight.
Upon hearing that, the two of us relented and moved away from her. She looked a bit miffed, but I think it was just a front.
“Anyway, this is a good step in the right direction,” she continued. “A strong memory of the past seems to be able to break whatever spell is blocking our memories.”
“I just hope that it sticks. Remember that Celestia said that even though she could get your memories back, it was only a temporary measure. I think you even said this yourself.”
“That isn’t quite what I said, but that’s still what I believe anyway. We need to make a plan on how to tackle this. Getting something written down for us to work on will help with any contingencies such as the chance that our memory will be blocked again by tomorrow. I want to make sure that we can keep our memories intact as well as work on getting everypony else’s memory back to normal.”
“Well, I’m not too sure how we would be able to get all of the memories back for everyone. I don’t think that I made a good, personal connection with anyone but you guys and maybe Case Cracker. Heck, I’m not really a hundred percent sure I can remember a good enough situation with Rarity or Applejack to make this theory work with them.”
“What about when you were rescuing them from the place that they were sent to? They didn’t really mention it much, but everypony said that you helped rescue them from some situation that they were caught up in. Even Pinkie here didn’t tell us much about where she was.”
I took a look at Pinkie who seemed to wither at the thought of where she had been. Well, that was pretty much to be expected. Nightmare Moon was in charge. Pony happiness was exceedingly in short supply. She was put in prison for goodness sake!
“Look Twilight, Pinkie and I know about that world quite well and it’s not something that I think either of us remember too fondly.”
I put my hand on top of Pinkie’s head to hopefully reassure her.
“I’m pretty sure that you were the luckiest out of all six of you. You got sent to my idol’s house for crying out loud! In fact, other than going to the Cell Games I’m not even sure you were in any real danger at any point. I had to fight ghosts, evil monkeys, cultists, a dictator, some kind of know-it-all in a top hat, and a slew of henchmen and scientists. I’m not saying you had it easy, but… well yes actually. You pretty much had it easy compared to the others.”
I felt like I just started saying whatever I could without thinking about it. In retrospect, I know it was a terrible idea. I really wanted to say some other things, but Pinkie swatting my hand away stopped me from doing so.
“You shouldn’t be so hard on Twilight. She wasn’t the one who sent us to those places. Discord did that. You shouldn’t be making her feel bad for something she didn’t have any say in!”
“You’re right Pinkie. You’re right,” I said and looked back at Twilight. “I’m sorry I said that. I guess I was just venting for no reason. I don’t even know why.”
“It’s fine. I didn’t take Pinkie’s feelings into consideration in the first place which is probably where that came from. I suppose nothing that bad really did happen to me. I knew that. I just wanted them to open up about what happened with them while they were there. I can respect her decision not to tell me if that’s what she wants,” she said while giving a warm smile towards Pinkie.
“Thanks Twilight. That means a lot.”
Of course, right then my body decided to absolutely ruin the moment with a large growl from my stomach. HO-LY CRAP was it loud. I’m pretty sure that every pony in Ponyville heard that noise. Heck, I was pretty sure I saw some shutters rattle in conjunction with it. And the stares. I was so engrossed with telling about my escapades that I had actually managed to tune out the ponies around me. With my little bodily noise, however, I became keenly aware of the ponies staring at me once again.
Not fun. At all.
“Sounds like somebody’s a bit hungry,” Pinkie said in much more of an upbeat manner than I was expecting.
“Yeah, I guess,” I said rather quietly. “I still haven’t eaten yet today.”
“Well that’s great! This means that you can get to try out all the sugar free foods that I baked today and I can serve the ones that you like at your party!”
“Well about that. Do you have any idea what you’re going to call that party? Before you got your memory back it was a ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ party. Now that we know it’s not my first time in Ponyville are you going to change the name?”
“Of course I am! It’s going to be a ‘Welcome Back to Ponyville’ party duh!”
“But as of right now the only two ponies who it’s a welcome back party are you two. I mean, won’t the other ponies think that it’s strange?”
“It’s Pinkie Pie throwing the party,” Twilight said matter-of-factly. “They aren’t going to question it.”
I’m honestly not sure if I walked into that one or not.
“Well, I guess that’s true. Ugh, I’m too hungry to think about this. You know, I kinda feel like having-”
“Pie perhaps?” Pinkie asked; interrupting me.
I was about to say no, and that’s when I felt it. That familiar feeling when a song is about to be sung. I wanted to fight it, but I ended up failing.
“How’d you know?” I asked involuntarily.
“It’s my job to know! And ‘cause I like pie too!”
I knew what was coming right then. The only solace I had was that it would be over quickly. I took the lead.
"When I say I want you say pie! I want-"
"Pie!"
"I want-"
"Pie!"
"When I say yummy, you say pie! Yummy!"
"Pie!"
"Yummy!"
"Pie!"
“Apple!”
“Rhubarb!”
“Bistro!”
“Pear!”
“Any kind! We don’t care!” “Any kind! We don’t care!”
“I love pie!”
“Yeah! I love pie!”
“Oh we lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-love pie!”
And just like that, it was over. The Pie Song. I had heard that barely a month ago and now I was singing it with a talking pony named Pinkie Pie. Hell, there was a rerun of the exact episode last week! The irony was palpable to me.
“You must really like pie,” Twilight said with a smirk.
“Oh quiet you,” I said playfully.
Author's Note
I'm not sure if I was clear enough last chapter, but I mean if you see anything, anything at all over the course of the entire series starting with Discord's Truth and including Searching, let me know. It's actually important.
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
A Facepalmingly Good Time
“Oh man, do I feel sore,” I complained.
“Oh come on now Seth. It hasn’t been that bad,” Twilight admonished.
“Not to you, but I’m not exactly in the best of shape if you remember.”
“Well, you were the one who volunteered,” she reminded me.
Yeah, I have no idea why I did that. Well, I did, but I’d rather not give her the added satisfaction of hearing me admit to it. You see, after we finally got moving towards an actual location it took us about ten minutes to get to Sugarcube Corner. When we arrived, I noticed two things. The first was that there was no customers there. The second and much more noticeable one was that the place was a mess that just extended from the kitchen.
Well, to this day I can’t believe I didn’t ask why the Cakes would leave the place looking like it did. Seriously, this was a place of business and yet it just looked like someone blew up the MMMM! cake halfway through the doorway to the back. It really needed to be cleaned badly.
Pinkie, however, would have none of that. Instead, the pink tornado brought me further into the mess that was the kitchen. Surprisingly, the only place that was devoid of any mess was the island countertop. Sitting on that was an assortment of different foods. All sorts of pies, tarts, fritters, cakes, and many others were just waiting there for the taste test Pinkie had created for me.
“So this stuff is for some catering job or what?” I asked jokingly.
“No silly! It’s the very first recipes I’ve ever made that I didn’t use any sugar in!”
I looked at the spread once more. Then back to Pinkie.
“How in the world did you make these without using sugar?” Twilight asked; beating me to the punch.
“It wasn’t easy, let me tell you! I had to use a whole bunch of different things to make these work!” she exclaimed by throwing her front hooves in the air.
“You know, you could probably just go with some cheese and crackers and that would be just fine with me,” I explained.
“I don’t want ‘just fine’. I want spectacular!”
“But ‘just fine’ is how I like things. I don’t need to have a party that goes off the hook. A normal, little party with people, or ponies, or whatever, I know is sometimes better. And I’m just fine with that.”
“Are you sure?” she asked carefully.
“Absolutely. I mean I hardly know any of those ponies anyway and the last party I was at was a bit intimidating to me. Even with the fun surprise we did.”
“That was pretty fun,” Pinkie said with glee. “It may even be the best surprise party I’ve ever thrown.”
“And I helped,” I said while pointing a thumb at myself.
“Yes, yes you did,” added Twilight a little oddly.
“Enough talk,” Pinkie said shrewdly. “It’s time you both got tasting.”
“Why am I helping with the taste test?” Twilight asked with much confusion.
“Because it’s still a party. If the guests don’t like the food, then I’ve failed as a hostess.”
“I don’t think that would make you a bad hostess pinkie,” Twilight stated.
“Less talking, more chewing!” Pinkie retorted.
Without any other distractions to get in our way, the two of us tried out her many new recipes. Overall, it wasn’t that bad. Like any taste testing you had your hits and misses.There wasn’t very many things I liked, but at least nothing tasted really bad like I was half expecting. In the end, I think there were some cherry tarts, an apple pie, and some kind of cookie like food that tasted sort of like grapefruit that I ended up sticking on.
I may not have been sure what exactly she put in them, but I was surprised about one thing. That thing would be that despite mixing all of those baked goods, I wasn’t feeling sick from eating them all. Even though I thought I overate too, it didn’t feel nauseating. I wanted to ask about it, but Twilight steered the conversation away.
“Now that we’re finished with that, can I ask why you left the place such a mess?”
“I felt a disturbance with my Pinkie Sense and it led me straight to you at the spa.”
“Obvious Star Wars reference question aside, I suppose you need some help cleaning up now.”
It’s funny. I don’t even know, or maybe remember why I said that. It was perhaps so obvious a statement that I just had to blurt it out. Pinkie perked up immediately upon hearing it.
“I sure do! A mess this big would take me quite a long time to clean up by myself. Thanks for offering to help.”
As I was about to mention that I hadn’t actually offered yet, there was a blur of pink and suddenly I had a mop in one hand and a rag in the other. I looked over at Twilight and she had much the same setup as I did, except her items were sitting on her back or on the floor.
“If we all work together, it will take no time at all!”
Wow, I hadn’t ever heard anyone that cheery about cleaning other than Mitoto from Tenchi Muyo. But clean we did. For 3 hours, we did nothing except clean the place from top to bottom. I really don’t like cleaning. Anything. So of course the fact that I was cleaning for hours put me in a less than pleasant mood. So imagine my surprise and irritation when I saw this weird little multicolored glass rolling around and jumping on the counter next to the sink. I was pretty sure that if it had a mouth it would be laughing and guffawing at this. However, that foul mood was instantly turned around when Pinkie approached the glass and picked it up.
“Wow is this glass dirty! I better clean it up now before it stains!”
She then shifted her stance and turned on the faucet. Just as she put the glass under the water produced another dishrag from… somewhere, there was a stifled shout from Discord getting shoved into the stream of hot water.
“Did you hear something?” Pinkie asked while still holding Discord under the water.
“I didn’t hear anything,” Twilight said.
I considered saying something, but honestly I wasn’t thinking too clearly about it. I was tired from cleaning and irritated as well. There was also the fact that I saw him most likely laughing at me, or maybe the mess, and I didn’t find it funny at all. I mean he was completely capable of snapping his claws and cleaning the place up instantly. Instead, he was just laughing his tail off at the situation. I was definitely not in the mood to bail him out of his current predicament.
“I don’t think I did,” I answered while managing to keep a straight face.
For the next five minutes, I watched as Pinkie tried to get the color out of the Discup. For the life of me I just can’t understand why Discord didn’t just transform back into his normal self. Only some strong willpower on my part kept me from cracking up on the spot. Finally, she placed the glass back on the counter with a huff.
“I guess I’ll just have to use this for something else.”
“Can I have it? I don’t have any drinking glasses at my house yet.”
“That sounds perfect, but don’t you need more than just one?” she asked while handing me the glass.
“I can get started with this one and get more later. I’m sure Discord will help,” I said with a slight smirk.
“I can’t understand why you put so much trust into Discord,” Twilight said with some unease in her voice.
“I think that Discord just does these things because he’s bored. None of the things he’s done to you were done out of malice.”
“Did you forget that he stabbed you once?” she asked pointedly.
“Well, I did say you. Still, if a human had those kind of powers they would act in the same way I think.”
“You mean those times you cause a mass panic?” she asked; cutting to the quick again.
“Okay, I think my metaphor is getting lost here. I just trust him.”
“Because he’s your friend?” she asked curiously.
“Well, maybe. I don’t really know yet. I wouldn’t mind if he was. I just don’t know if… well, if he’s fine with being my friend or not.”
“I’m fine with being your friend,” Pinkie interjected happily.
“That’s because you want to be friends with everyone. Your personality lets you be amiable enough to make that happen. Discord and I are not like that. We both have a tough time interacting with others. So did you once Twilight.”
“There’s a big difference between being socially awkward and being a menace to the entire world.”
I let out a heavy sigh. I just did not have the ability to defend him. Then again, I wasn’t sure why I was defending him in the first place. I suppose it may have been some kind of commonality we had, but I just don’t know. Maybe one last idea.
“You guys obviously don’t like Discord too much. He has reformed, though. Despite that fact of him stabbing me I’m willing to give him a shot. I guess that’s all I’m saying to you guys. Anyway, the place looks like it’s finished being cleaned. You care if I head home? It’s starting to get late.”
“It looks like we’re done cleaning up,” Pinkie stated. “Thanks a lot for the help you guys!”
“No problem Pinkie,” I said with some relief.
“We’ll see you tomorrow Pinkie Pie.”
With a wave, the two of us walked out of Sugarcube Corner and back out into the street. The sun was getting low in the sky which was good since I was a little tired of carrying that open parasoul with me. Speaking of which, I looked back to the entrance and saw that it was still sitting next to it. I walked back to the entrance and picked it up with my free hand and walked back to Twilight, who was waiting for me.
“Are you walking me back to my house?”
“I’m taking you to the outskirts of the town proper since you seem to have a bad sense of direction as I remember,” she said slyly.
“Ah, that sounds good.”
“Before we get there, I wanted to talk about getting the other’s memories back.”
“Seems like a good use of our time,” I said dryly.
“I thought so too,” she said without hearing the borderline sarcasm in my voice. “I want to try and help the other ponies regain their memories of you as soon as possible.”
“You mean your friends right? Not all of the other ponies.”
“Based on what is happening I don’t think it’s currently capable for any of us to return the memories of any of the ponies other than my friends and Spike. We can try to return their memories tomorrow.”
“We can start with Rarity then. I still have only this one set of clothes and now they’re really dirty from cleaning up at Sugarcube. Does that sound good to you?”
“That sounds like a plan.”
“And you like plans,” I added smugly.
“Yes I do,” she said happily.
We walked in silence for a few more minutes before we reached the edge of town. We had a nice goodbye with each other before we started walking away to our respective destinations. When I noticed that she was out of sight, I held the glass up in the air in my open palm.
“Alright Discord, the coast is clear.”
With a large, blinding flash, the glass disappeared and Discord took a stance a few feet away from me.
“Thanks for getting me out of there,” he commented. “Who knows what that pony would have done to me if I hadn’t gotten out of there?” he asked as he started to smack the side of his head to get the water out of his ears.
“I don’t know why you-”
My question was brought up short as, after a few shots of water came out, they were followed by a rubber duck, a life preserver, and an anchor.
“What? Have you never seen a draconequus clean out his swimmer’s ear before?”
“You know I haven’t,” I said and thought of a joke for it. “How does that stuff come out of a sink is what I’d like to know.”
Discord cackled and disappeared in a flash. He then reappeared with his lion arm around me.
“You know, you’ve really grown on me since that first time we met. And not just in size I mean.”
A fat joke. Way to endear me there Discord.
“You know, other than Fluttershy you’re the only one who’s ever stuck up for me. Even though you shouldn’t.”
“Why shouldn’t I? I’m willing to believe that your time on Earth changed you for the better. Well, that or you’re running a very deep Batman gambit. Still, I’m going to go with option A.”
“I’m so glad you think so highly of me. In more ways than one, I might add. If only the ponies would think that way.”
“If it happens, it happens,” I said with aplomb.
Discord disappeared in a flash again and reappeared in the air in front of me.
“So, I cooked last night which means that it’s your turn tonight.”
“With what?” I asked skeptically. “There’s no food in the house you know? I’m not exactly able to subsist on magic and textbooks like you. Also, would even like what I would cook in the first place?”
“Of course not! I’m going to be very critical of whatever you make and still say it’s terrible whatever the outcome.”
“Man, I have messed up taste buds and even I don’t do that,” I said dejectedly.
“Oh pish posh. You may say that, but you don’t really mean it. Tastes don’t change that easily and neither do people.”
“That’s not what I mean! I-”
“This is boring!” Discord yelled; interrupting me. “You’re boring me! I’m heading back to the house now.”
“Can you at least get some food so we don’t end up eating the lamp?”
“I’ll think about it,” he said tapping his fingers together. “Until then,” he said and disappeared by fading away, “ta ta!”
I grumbled a little and continued my walk back to my place as the sun finished setting. I didn’t keep that attitude up long, though, as I remembered that I had gotten plenty to eat thanks to Pinkie Pie’s taste test. Still, while that would most likely tide me over for today, I didn’t have a plan for tomorrow at all. My entire subsistence here was dependent on handouts that the others were willing to give me. I hadn’t earned anything on my own merit. Heck, I didn’t even have a bit to my name. Fuck, I was just pathetic. I wanted to come here to do something important. Instead, I was merely being an inconvenience to everyone.
I guess without having magic, I’m really the odd duck around these parts. Magic makes this world go round, and raugh! I’m too hung up on not having magic. I’ve got to let that go. I can’t have magic go and solve all my problems anyway. Even though that would be so nice. Oh man magic was the bomb.
I physically slapped myself in the face. I was starting to think in circles. It just wasn’t healthy for me to dwell on it. Home first, then I needed to try and figure out a way to help out around here to not just be a hinderance. Hopefully, something will come to me.
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
Sweet Dreams Are Made of This
Water, water everywhere and oh do I wish it was Pepsi. Yeah, that sounded absolutely stupid. Still, I was not too sure how I ended up on a plain, bare bones, wooden raft in the middle of an ocean. It just didn’t connect to what was going on at all. I think I remember getting home last night. What happened after that though? I just don’t know. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if Discord was pranking me hard right now.
“Tis a very bleak dream thou art having this night Seth,” a voice exclaimed from above me.
I looked up to see Luna flapping her wings to hover above me. Wait. Did she just?
“This is a dream? This seems really odd for one of my dreams.”
Luna quickly came down and landed on the raft with me. To my surprise, the raft didn’t even shift with her sudden addition to it’s weight. A testament to the ‘this is a dream’ part of my brain.
“Indeed, this is a dream. I have dominion over this realm and therefore know it quite well.”
“You know, if that’s true, then this is now a lucid dream for me. Lucid dreams are malleable. Let’s change things up a bit.”
A wave of my hand and the night fell as the sun became the moon. Not the moon from Equestria, but the one from Earth. Trust me when I say that there is a strong difference between the two visually. Additionally, the water turned into a grassy plain as far as the eye could see. Where the raft once was, a large blanket took its place as a picnic basket sprouted in the middle. For the record, I thought about turning Luna into a human too, but I don’t think she would’ve appreciated it too much.
“Your ability to manipulate your dreamscape is impressive. Most ponies are unable to do so.”
“Humans can do that with lucid dreams. Well, that’s what I’m told. I’ve never had one until now.”
I proceeded to sit down on the blanket across from Luna. She quickly followed suit, though for her it looked more like laying down.
“So Luna, I wasn’t actually having a nightmare. Does that mean you were just here to check up on me?”
“Quite so. I believe I mentioned this to you on the previous occasion.”
“You may have, but I don’t really have the greatest of memories. Back when I had magic, I had a great memory thanks to it’s magical assistance. Luckily, I haven’t had too difficult of a time with it while I’ve been here.”
“A fortunate circumstance to be sure,” she said dryly.
Silence seemed to take over as the two of us sat there. Neither of us were really good at social interaction. Luna at least had an excuse of being locked away in the moon. All I had was my Asperger’s to hide behind. Sure it was an excuse that I used quite a bit in order to avoid certain things; kind of like I sometimes did with my diabetes. Still, I couldn’t really use that excuse in that situation. Maybe I could use it to restart the conversation.
“Sorry. I’m not the best conversationalist. I’m a bit introverted sometimes.”
“We believe that quite readily,” she stated without almost any hint of emotion behind it.
Silence again. Damn, that was a bust. You know, talking can be hard. Oh wait. Why don’t I try something that works with me? If we’re alike, it might just work for her.
“You know, this is the first time I’ve tried putting a night sky together. Is this any different from what yours looks like?”
“It actually seems quite similar to ours. The moon looks different, however.”
“That’s because it’s the one that orbits the planet where I come from,” I said helpfully.
“It looks almost like there is a face on it. Was there a being that was confined to your moon in a similar manner to the way we were?” she asked in an increasingly interested manner.
“Not as far as I know. There are many legends about the ‘Man in the Moon’ but-”
“The ‘Man in the Moon’?” she interrupted. “A title that is again similar to the tale of my banishment.”
“I know. It’s because of the t.v. show aspect again.”
I watched as her expression became sullen again. I had forgotten that Celestia said she hadn’t taken it as well. I guess she drew a parallel to that or something. To that, I stood up and walked over to her. Then, without a word, I dropped to my knees and gave her a hug.
“This is the second time thou hast hugged us without prompt.”
“You looked like you needed one so I just did.”
“You may release us now,” she said with some irritation.
I did as she asked after one last squeeze. I then kept on my knees in front of her.
“I think I told you this already, but there are lots of people who like you where I’m from. Don’t ever think that you aren’t appreciated because that’s just not true.”
“Thou did already say this. It is not why I am upset.”
Yeah right. Well, that might be true. You’re never really sure what anyone is really thinking.
“Would you like to talk about it?” I asked helpfully.
“Perhaps another night. This one is sadly over.”
I looked around and saw the world turning slowly white.
“I see now. Well, you’re always welcome in my dreams. Just be sure to knock first. You never know what’ll show up here.”
She smiled and then faded out. I got up to my feet as I waited for the dream to end. Of course, just before that happened I realized something.
“Aw man! A lucid dream and I didn’t get to do any cool stuff!”
I awoke with a start. Not because of the dream I had, which I could still remember for now. No, this was caused by the fact that the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes was the face of Discord. I didn’t really mind his face. It was the fact that he was so close I could feel his breath that made me really uncomfortable. At least his breath smelled nice. Very minty.
“Time to get up! Rise and shine!”
He emphasized the shine part by giving himself a near blinding light coming off of his body. I took one of the pillows and used it to shield my eyes.
“Come now. You should really get up. The sun has already risen and you have quite a day ahead of you.”
I really didn’t like the way he said that. In response to his statement, I simply rolled to my side and shut my eyes.
“Awww, looks like somebody’s not a morning person,” he said mocking me.
“No shit Sherlock,” I responded with some irritation.
“Well that’s fine. I suppose that merely gives me the opportunity to wake you up in more… creative ways.”
I tossed my pillow at him and pushed the covers down to my waist. I then pulled my weary self up to a sitting position. I didn’t know what he meant by that and I knew I’d rather not find out.
“That’s the way! Now get dressed and you can come to breakfast.”
As he disappeared in a flash, I willed myself out of the bed. After that didn’t work, I flopped like a fish over to the side of the bed and pitched my feet onto the floor. Then, feeling like a lead weight, I pushed myself up to my feet. I walked over to my dresser, grabbed my glasses, and put them on so I could see if Discord had done anything. Not noticing anything out of place, I then opened the dresser to get my clothes. I stood there for a moment to process what I was seeing.
“Discord! Where the hell are my clothes!?!”
No answer. I was pretty much just clad in my tighty whities, which I probably shouldn’t have been with Discord a few feet down the hall. I’ll chalk that up to complacency. Still, I don’t do that anywhere other than my room since the dancing incident when I was nine. Though, I will go around the house in shorts, but that’s because I don’t really like wearing shirts. It’s all a moot point in that case anyway since Discord had taken away my clothes.
I decided that since he was almost certainly the cause, I didn’t really care if he saw me in just my underwear. I guess it was a good thing Rarity wasn’t done with my clothes yet. That would have really sucked if her brand new clothes were gone already. That probably would make us both pissed.
I walked over to the door and took a calming breath. I followed that up by opening the door and strolling all the way to the kitchen. When I spotted him at the table, I was about to start yelling despite the calming breath I had taken. However, the sight of a plate of bacon and eggs stopped my miniature tirade before it even began.
“I thought you were going to get dressed,” Discord teased.
And just like that, my anger came rampaging back to the forefront of my mind.
“That’s because my clothes aren’t where I left them! They’re gone!”
“Oh my, how tragic,” he said in his trademark ‘I don’t actually care’ voice.
“Dude, I know you like your pranks. They cause all the chaos you love to watch. Still, I don’t think that this will turn out well for anyone involved.”
“Oh don’t you worry. Your clothes are just out getting washed. They were starting to smell.”
“Wait a sec. There’s a place I can get my clothes cleaned around here?”
“Why of course there isn’t! I sent them off to the closest source of running water and let them wash themselves. Ponies washing clothes. Ha! Now that would be quite a sight to behold!”
“Yeeeahhhh. I doubt that,” I said seething sarcasm.
“Now then, come sit down and eat your breakfast before it gets up. I’ve already had mine.”
“Oh really?” I asked as I strolled up to the table. “What did you have?”
“Pull my finger,” he stated as he held out his lion’s paw.
I shot the draconequus a look of pure incredulousness.
“I’m not sure whether or not you’re above the trick that I think you’re trying to pull.”
“Come on,” Discord said trying to egg me on. “You know you want to.”
Against my most likely better judgement, I reached over the table, getting a wonderful whiff of the bacon, and reluctantly pulled his index finger. To my great joy, no hot air of that kind escaped from his body. To my momentary confusion, there was a clicking sound and his eyes lit up. It clicked for me a moment later.
“Did you actually go and eat the damn lamp?” I asked irritatedly.
“It was too good of a joke to pass up!” he exclaimed while barely containing his mirth.
He then failed and started laughing uncontrollably. I’ll admit that it was a good joke. Of course, describing it and having it actually happen are two different things. I ended up settling on letting out a groan.
“Kind of a delayed punchline if you ask me, but yeah. It was a good joke,” I relented.
“I’m so glad you liked it. Now, let’s talk about your attire, or lack thereof.”
“Yes. Let’s have a chat about that,” I said with some chagrin.
“First things first, though. You should eat the breakfast I made before it gets cold.”
With bacon in the vicinity, I had no resistance to his request. Bacon and Pepsi were pretty much my two weaknesses in terms of food. I pulled the chair out and promptly sat down. I half expected the food to turn into green eggs and ham or something equally contrived, but since they didn’t I took a fork from the side and started in on the eggs. They were some pretty good eggs.
“I’ll admit that seeing you without any clothing is probably a mistake on my part.”
I think he just backhand insulted me.
“I suppose that I should give you something to wear until your clothes come back.”
“I would only need them until I get my new attire from Rarity today,” I explained to him.
Hearing that, Discord put his chin in his, well I think it’s an eagle claw. Maybe it’s a talon? Whatever. Either way, he did that and started to look contemplative. A truly strange sight to see for the normally jovial creature. I’m not sure what exactly he was thinking of at the time, but suddenly his eyes turned off with an exclamation of ‘Aha’! He then looked crosseyed like he was looking at his nose. After that, he reached into his mouth, pulled out a lightbulb, and fixated it above his head. Then, he let out another ‘Aha’ and the bulb lit up on cue.
“Gross, but clever,” I deadpanned.
“Well, it’s come to my attention that you need some new clothes.”
I facepalmed hard.
“Yes, yes, now that you’re done I see that since I’d rather not look at you while you’re not dressed it’s up to me to deal with the impending catastrophe.”
You know, I think he’s just trying to get me riled up with fat and ugly jokes. The jokes on him. I don’t have any problem with my appearance. Well, mentally I don’t. Physically, is a whole different subject.
“Since you only need to wear something until you get your new outfits from Rarity, I’ll be generous as well and loan you an outfit until then.”
Yeah, that shot out about as many warning flags as you assume it would.
“Oh come now. Don’t give me that look. This is as much for my sanity as it is for your sake.”
I couldn’t hold off a snort of laughter at the thought that me being dressed would help his sanity.
“All right Discord,” I replied with a mirthful voice. “I guess I can at least understand your point of view on the subject. With that in mind, what did you want to give me?”
There was a burst of light and I felt something covering my body. I really felt like complaining right there, but it was something I should be grateful about. Of course, that was before I got a look at it.
"Do you like it?" he asked gleefully.
“That’s it! I’m kicking your ass Discord!”
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
The Good, The Bad, and What I Was Wearing
The stares. Oh my fucking God, the stares. Everywhere I looked there were ponies staring at me. And it wasn’t just the normal stares I got for being a human. It was also because of what I was wearing. If it didn’t cover my head, I was sure I would never even have made it out of my house.
I don’t do cosplay. About the closest I’d ever come was being dressed similar to that fat guy who pretended to be Luffy in One Piece. If you don’t know that reference, that’s fine. Just think of a guy wearing a red vest, some blue jean shorts cut off just above the knees, some sandals, and a straw hat with a red band around it. It’s not exactly something a fat man should wear. Then again, that is kind of what I do wear in the the summer. Just replace vest with muscle shirt.
Well, none of that really mattered so much to me right then. What I was wearing, however, wouldn’t have been all that out of place at Bronycon. Why you ask? Well, I was walking around dressed as a red and black alicorn abomination. It was a red mane and a black coat and the cutie mark on it was a human arm flexing it’s bicep with an explosion framed behind it.
After my rant with Discord, I needed to take a look at the whole thing in a mirror, which Discord helpfully snapped up behind me at the table. Fucking hideous. By the way, Discord then said that he started that OC trend. I didn’t believe him for a second. It did make me realize that it meant he knew about fanfics.I shudder to think of what he might have picked up from reading those.
After letting me look at the costume, in which I noticed the head in one of the chairs, I sat down to eat breakfast again only to realize that my hands were covered by furry hooves. The glare I shot Discord was enough to make him actually disappear in a flash. Of course, knowing him it may have just been out of playfulness. He stayed gone for the remainder of breakfast. Yes, I still went about eating breakfast. You don’t walk away from bacon and eggs unless they’re made out of tofu.
Eating them without hands was a chore. You just don’t appreciate things like that until you no longer have them. I pretty much just worked everything with my mouth while keeping the plate steady with my hooves. There was no hint of dignity left by the time I was done.
After slowly carrying my dishes to the sink, I went over and snatched up the head. After putting it on, I noticed how oddly easy it was to see out of. I had looked inside a mascot head before and it was not the same as the one I got from Discord. While I still couldn’t see to the sides, the lenses in the eyes didn’t obscure any detail on what I was seeing. I ended up settling on magic again. It makes ignoring facts so blissfully easy.
What I couldn’t ignore was what happened after I got out of the kitchen. I went up to the front door and tried to leave. In that moment, I had remembered my problem of having hooves again. Those damn things had almost no traction on them. Because of that, getting them to open a slick, metallic doorknob was a horrendous task. After what I think was a few minutes of finagling my way around the thing with both hands, I managed to get it turned enough to get the latch past the frame and get the door open. After that fiasco, I was very tempted to leave the door open until I got back, but the fact that I was so near the Everfree Forest quickly killed that idea.
I continued on from there to get my new clothing from Rarity. It didn’t take too long to get to town on my way there. That was when the staring started. And the hushed whispers. And the pointing of hooves. And the soul crushing agony knowing that it would be pretty obvious who was in the suit and it would never go away now. Oh fuck! What was I thinking coming here in this!?! This will never go away!
“What in the world are you wearing?”
A voice close to me helped steady my thoughts. I looked just off to the side and saw Twilight Sparkle giving me a questioning eye. Rightfully so considering what I was wearing.
“You know, yesterday I was defending Discord to you. I’m having trouble trying to figure out why right now.”
She then graced me with a knowing smile.
“Well, at least you didn’t do this on purpose.”
“In this eyesore? If this was on purpose, I would let Rarity give me a fashion lecture.”
She chuckled at my little quip.
“Speaking of Rarity, I was on my way to her place in order to get my new wardrobe so I can change out of this. Am I headed the right way?”
I had to ask. Most of the buildings in town look very similar to each other.
“So far you are. There’s a fork down the road a little bit that you’ll come to. You know what? Let me take you there. We can get started on getting back Rarity’s memories after you get your new clothes.”
“Oh yeah. I totally forgot about doing that.”
“You forgot about that?”
“I’ve had a lot on my plate today. I don’t exactly have the best of memories. Not like when I had magic. Man, do I miss having magic. Magic is awesome.”
“Focus, Seth. Let’s head over to Rarity’s and get you out of that ridiculous costume.”
Without another word said, the two of us made our way over to Carousel Boutique. I had to follow a bit behind her to make sure I was headed in the right direction. Walking by her side almost took me in another direction entirely. It took a bit, but we finally made it. Except, of course, for a small problem.
“Closed for Fashion Emergency?” I half yelled. “Son of a- hrgh! Mother! Argh! I feel like this was orchestrated somehow. I just know it.”
“Well, Discord did give you that outfit,” Twilight stated matter-of-factly.
“That was so I didn’t walk around in-”
I stopped short since it clicked in my head. Discord just pulled off an all day prank. A prank that would have me getting more and more uncomfortable as the day dragged on. One where he would be keeping an eye on me to laugh at all the issues that cropped up at random. It was a pretty good prank. I just wished he had pulled it on someone else.
“I swear I’m going to round up Pinkie and Dash and the three of us are going to get him back so hard!”
“I wouldn’t recommend doing that,” Twilight chided. “That would just lead to more and more pranks that would just lead to the entire town getting caught up in the crossfire.”
Ugh, she was right. Of course if I did nothing then Discord would think he could get away with doing whatever he wanted to me without consequence. I couldn’t just let myself become Discord’s joke outlet. I doubt that it would be conducive to my health, let alone my sanity. Without any better options, I decided to sit on it. Besides, there wasn’t anything I could do about it right then anyway.
“Alright, so Rarity is out. I have no idea just how long it’s going to take her either. Do you?”
“A fashion emergency could take any amount of time that she thinks is necessary, so no.”
“I thought so. If we could find out where she went we might be able to ask her to come back for a few minutes to get my clothes. Especially if she see me in this I bet.”
“That sounds like a plan. We should split up to-”
“No, no we shouldn’t,” I interrupted.
She looked at me with shock for a moment before blushing. It felt a little weird to think about how adorable of a look that was. I’m not sure why, but it just was.
“That’s right. You don’t know your way around town.”
“That, and I doubt that anyone will want to talk to me while I’m dressed up like a bad joke.”
“That’s true. So, where do you think we should start looking?”
“It’s your town,” I shrugged. “I’ll just follow you wherever you go.”
As we searched around for Rarity’s whereabouts, I realized something that had been bugging me. Normally when I walk around anywhere, I tend to put my head down slightly since I don’t like looking anyone in the face. Wearing my hat it gives me a perfect visor against doing so. However, with all the ponies being around four and a half feet or so, I can’t help but be staring right at them with my usual gaze.
Looking straight at them isn’t a bad thing. I mean, you want people to look you straight in the eyes so why wouldn’t you want to look a pony straight in the eyes? Well, other than how that makes me feel a little uncomfortable there was another problem that I didn’t really notice until it was directly in front of me. That problem being that I was staring directly at Twilight’s ass. Now, until I was in that suit, it didn’t even register to me because I was usually looking around or if I was looking forward it was when I was walking side by side with them. Because of the issue that I had to follow Twilight and the fact that I couldn’t look around in this stupid suit, it brought this problem right to the forefront of my mind.
For the record, I’ve been around horses quite a few times. My grandparents were farmers and my dad was a farmer until he went to college. They owned a couple of horses until I was about ten. Well, a horse is a horse, of course, and while I had no problem with them I tend to stay away from them since I once saw an old friend of mine who face was badly bruised from having one bite his cheek. He said it was his fault and I believe him. Why the exposition? Because I’ve seen a horse’s ass and trust me when I say that looking at a pony’s ass from here I realized that it was way too human looking for my comfort.
It made be think back to the time when I had accidentally humanized the ponies and they were all pretty much eye candy to me. I mean they were all trim, they were all curvy, and though I will never tell any of them, I was sexually attracted to every female in that form who was in my age group. Wait, I did tell them. Gah, nevermind. The worst part at the moment, however, was that I was torn between looking at her ass the whole time or taking off the head piece and letting everyone see who was in the stupid suit just so I didn’t have to keep staring at her like that. I felt like I didn’t want them to confirm that it was me. As stupid as that was, it was that feeling which basically meant that I had to default to staring at her posterior the whole time. I just hope that she didn’t notice or didn’t care; hopefully the former.
I decided just to not think about it as we took our time questioning any pony that we came across. I’m not sure how long it took since my watch was also inside this wretched thing. It went on for some time, I can tell you that much. I could tell by the fact that my leg was hurting and the suit was making me sweat profusely. It’s a black suit and there’s not a cloud in the sky. I couldn’t really smell anything myself, but I always get told that I get pretty smelly, pretty fast.
As we got to the marketplace, we spotted Applejack in her stall once again. You know, I don’t think I’ve seen her buck apples once since I’ve been back. I wonder why that is? Oh well, I don’t really care that much right now. I just want this thing off as soon as I possibly can. Therefore, the both of us walked over to ask her.
“Uh, howdy there partner, Twilight. What’s goin’ on?”
“A practical joke by Discord,” I said flatly.
“Ah see now.”
“It feels pretty bad to know that every time I feel like trying to defend him, he then pulls this kind of stunt on me.”
“It’s yer own fault I reckon. Discord just loves pullin the wool over yer eyes sometimes.”
“Well, we can fix this problem,” Twilight began. “From what I think he said, the spell Discord used will only last until he gets his new clothes from Rarity. The problem is that Rarity has left to take care of some fashion emergency. Do you know where she might have went?”
“Actually ah do.”
That got my hopes up.
“She’s gone off to Fillydelphia.”
That dashed them even faster.
“Why in Celestia’s name would Rarity go to Fillydelphia for a fashion emergency?” Twilight asked.
“Why wouldn’t she go someplace for a fashion emergency?” I deadpanned.
I managed to draw a chuckle from both of them.
“Still,” Twilight continued, “that leaves us the problem of getting his new clothes up in the air. I’m not sure we can actually go to Fillydelphia and find her. The chances of finding her there are incredibly low.”
“Maybe so,” I said. “Then again, this is a giant prank by Discord. I’ll bet it doesn’t really matter where we go. He’s basically created a prank that will make sure that the worst possible outcome will occur until he feels that it’s no longer funny. Then, he’ll bring out the coup de grâce. Basically, we’ve already lost.”
“That’s awfully pessimistic of ya,” Applejack stated.
Meh,” I shrugged. “I can already see this happening. As an author I knew once said, ‘any attempt to circumvent the joke will result in twice the hilarity when the punchline hits’. It’s not quite the same situation, but close enough that I’m pretty much resigned to being ridiculed today.”
“You ought to have more confidence than that,” Twilight said. “Just because he’s doing this doesn’t mean you have to go along with it.”
“It’s fine Twilight. I’m not going to run around and be a nuisance. I think I’ll just wait at the train station for Rarity to come back. Unless she teleported herself or went by chariot or some other nonsense, she’ll come back on the train and I can meet her there.”
“Why don’t you just wait for her at Carousel Boutique? That seems like a much better place to wait, and you know she’ll be back there,” Twilight suggested.
“True, but I doubt that she’ll appreciate someone looking like I do hanging out at her place of business. Let’s just head over to the train station and wait for her there.”
“I guess so.”
“Here, ya’ll go ahead and have an apple while you wait.”
She tossed an apple for each of us with her tail. As I thought about just how cool that was, I realized that I couldn’t catch it with hooves. Thankfully, I didn’t have to as Twilight caught it with her magic.
“Thanks Twilight.”
“Of course,” she said with a smile.
Of course, I still couldn’t eat it with the head still on. I reached up and removed the piece.
…
Or I tried to. I sighed heavily.
“I should have seen this coming.”
“Should have seen what coming?” Twilight asked curiously.
“I can’t get the head off.”
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
This day was The Suck. Why you ask? Well, if you haven’t been paying attention, then I guess I’ll just- What’s that? You have? Well then, I’ll just pick up where I left off.
After I figured out that I couldn’t remove the head piece on the ugly P.O.S. I got put in, I asked Twilight to see if she could figure out a way to wrench it off. That went about as well as I thought it might. It was magically locked in place and she couldn’t get it to budge. We both agreed that it was not going to come off. Of course, for some reason, after I told her that the head piece wasn’t attached to it originally and that I put it on afterwards, she felt the need to lecture me on it. It wasn’t one of those condescending type of lectures but more like she was trying to give me better options to what I did.
The lecture kind of droned on for me after a short time and I defaulted into my normal response. That response being that I became totally apathetic to the conversation. That isn’t to say that I didn’t listen. If you don’t listen, it becomes yelling pretty quickly. This response is more or less just not really being interested so you try and lose focus on it. My sister Kara picks up on it pretty quickly and calls me out on it every time. Of course, she thinks I just don’t care, and though that’s different from not being interested, I just don’t have a way to tell her that which doesn’t sound bad.
We pretty much walked to the train station doing that the whole time. That was when things got out of hand. As soon as we arrived, the attendant called out to us from the platform. Apparently, the train had been waiting for the two of us. Knowing that it was Princess Twilight that they were waiting for, the train didn’t dare leave without her. That’s not to say that the attendant wasn’t concerned about how late the train was in departing. In a move I sure didn’t expect, he used his magic to send us inside the train car. Almost immediately, the train started off towards what I assumed was Fillydelphia.
Luckily, since it was the car for the princess we got a private car for just the two of us. It did feel kind of silly for just us two to have the whole car to ourselves. Then again, looking like I did made me grateful after all. I wasn't exactly going to be a welcome sight to anyone else on the train if I had to share the cabin looking as I did.
Unfortunately, since I wasn’t really Twilight’s friend but more like an acquaintance, we spent most of the trip in relative silence. Really, we just had nothing to talk about. She was a girl, a pony, an accomplished student, a princess, and had many, many friends. The only thing we had in common was being socially awkward and that just isn’t something you bring up. Especially since I think she’s gotten over that for the most part.
However, near the end of the train ride there I commented on how much longer it seemed to take to get there as opposed to Canterlot. She then told me that Fillydelphia was actually farther away from Ponyville than Canterlot was. She then decided to give me a geography lesson. While it was a bit interesting, it was pretty much one-sided. It went on for some time before we heard the announcement that we were arriving in Fillydelphia. When we arrived, we both waited a bit for the other passengers to disembark. After that was finished, Twilight teleported me outside of the car before she walked out herself.
And waiting on the platform there was Rarity. Now, one might say that finding Rarity immediately after getting there was a good thing. That’s what I thought too. That was until I heard her talk about just how bad I looked in that outfit from almost the moment we saw each other. Then it didn’t feel too great. At least it didn’t last long thanks to Twilight giving her an explanation of what was happening. With that out of the way, we went to get on the train again.
That was quickly stopped by the attendant there. Apparently, our tickets for the way there were covered, but not for the way back. This was a problem since Twilight didn’t have any money with her and I didn’t have any money period. Rarity, being the generous pony that she is, got tickets for the both of us. Yes, even I had to have a ticket this time. The ponies in this place weren’t so forgiving about my size predicament. Not very friendly considering it’s based on the ‘city of brotherly love’. Then again, maybe they just didn’t appreciate what I was wearing.
When that was finished, we went to get back on the train and noticed that it was packed. As utterly ridiculous as this was, I just wanted to get away from the whole situation. Therefore, I told them that I was fine with sitting on the caboose again. And just like that I was stuck on a train again for several more hours with nothing to do. I was about as happy as you would expect me to be. That's not even mentioning how I looked yet again.
As I sat there watching the scenery go by, I just contemplated what Discord might do next. I mean, yes, I knew I probably couldn’t stop it. Yet, I still wanted to be prepared for what he might throw at me on this tour of stupid. In the end, I just found myself going in circles. I might be able to figure out a move or two, but he could easily change things up however he wanted since he wasn’t bound to logical trains of thought like many of us are.
Was I making this all overly complicated? I bet I was. Discord had already planned this day to get himself as many laughs as possible. The train ride to and from Fillydelphia had already taken most of the day away. While I personally would have thought seeing us running around that place for hours without finding her only to realize later that she had already left would be a great deal more funny, maybe Discord found this more funny than that. Maybe she finished faster or slower than he thought? That was possible.
A loud whistle brought an end to those thoughts. I shifted a bit before realizing that I wouldn’t be able to see anything anyway, even if I didn’t have on this suit. Being unable to do anything, I just waited for the train to come to a stop. It didn’t take but a few minutes until then. Once it had stopped, I hopped off of the back and took a look to make sure I was where I needed to be.
Thankfully, it was indeed Ponyville. Unless the attendant from Ponyville had gone somewhere else, which was doubtful. Seeing that I was in the correct place, I strode up to the platform to wait for Rarity and Twilight. It didn’t take long before the two of them emerged from the train car. Both of them shared a perturbed look on their face. I waited until they spotted me and trotted over to me before I spoke up.
“Did the train ride not agree with you?” I deadpanned even though I knew they couldn’t see my face.
“I can’t believe how much they just threw themselves at Twilight! They had not an ounce of decorum at all!”
“While it was a bit tiring, I didn’t really mind.”
“A whole bunch of questions about being a princess I bet. I doubt they’ve ever met one in person before.”
“In person?” Rarity asked.
“Sorry. I mean face to face. I guess you wouldn’t know that human idiom.”
“That’s what I gathered,” Twilight replied, “and yes, they all had a lot of questions that they wanted to ask. I didn’t mind answering them, but after a while it got rather tedious. Especially when they started asking some of the same questions repeatedly.”
“You certainly had more patience than I would have shown,” said Rarity, “and a few of those questions were highly inappropriate.”
My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. I really wasn’t sure just what they would consider inappropriate, but I honestly didn’t think would be worth asking about… Well, maybe later if I think about it.
“Well, let’s go ahead and get out of here then. Unless you have a reason you want to stick around here for.”
“I do have a reason to stick around here,” Rarity replied. “I have to pick up my bags and luggage.”
Thanks to the getup I was wearing, I was able to do a proper facehoof. Despite the fact that I should have expected it, I had totally forgotten that she has lots of things that she travels with. Even a quick trip to help with a fashion emergency didn’t seem to change that fact. So, the three of us waited for her items to come off of the baggage car. It didn’t take almost any time at all considering that we were the last group to board the train. I ended up taking the bags with the large handles since those were the only ones I was able to carry; about six in all. They weren’t too heavy, but they also weren’t very light. Rarity and Twilight split up the remaining bags and the three of us set off for Carousel Boutique.
“So I’m going to come out and ask you about just what was it that had you take off for Fillydelphia?” I asked. “I don’t really mind. I’m just curious.”
“Oh that? I had an order for some costumes to go in an art display for the city museum.”
I know she kept talking after that, but I got hung up on that first part. That whole sentence made no sense to me. Costumes for an art display in a museum? The fuck does that happen? I have no idea how that fits together. I just fell back on my usual answer; magic bullshit. I don’t really know how it could fit into this situation, but it will just have to suffice.
I must have gone on longer than I thought with that thought because it felt like no time at all before we arrived at Rarity’s place. The jingle of the bell above the door signaled to the vacant building that we had arrived. Though I didn’t really know that it was vacant. It came into question because of the fact that it was still brightly lit inside. The rows upon rows of clothing sat on their racks and the mannequins were still decked out in display lighting. It was thoroughly confusing for a few moments until I heard a few voices.
“-think it’ll work?”
“We won’t really know til we try. C’mon Scootaloo, let’s go and see!”
I then spotted the CMC heading down the stairs. That would explain why the place was open now as opposed to earlier. They must’ve gotten back from school while we were all gone. As soon as they spotted me, they all let out a little ‘eep’ and stopped in their tracks.
“What the heck is he doing?” asked Scootaloo.
“I’ve been a prank victim,” I replied drolly. “I don’t think you should stick around since it’s still in progress.”
“Was it Pinkie Pie or Rainbow Dash?” asked Scootaloo again.
“Worse. It was Discord.”
They all let out a gasp. Then they all started looking around nervously.
“Well,” Applebloom started, “ah think we still have some crusadin’ tah do. We don’t want tah miss our opportunity to get our cutie marks. Let’s go.”
And with a chorus of nods, the three of them zipped passed the three of us and out through the front door.
“Well, I better go retrieve your new outfits. I believe they are still upstairs.”
I watched as she trotted up the stairs that the CMC just came down and waited for her to return. Again an uncomfortable silence unfolded between myself and Twilight. At least this time I tried to make something work.
“Sorry. I’m not really the best conversationalist,” I said trying to break the tension.
“I know. Neither am I sometimes.”
“Yeah, well at least you’re the ‘Princess of Friendship’,” I said with air quotes, “or at least that’s what people are saying back home on Earth.”
“That isn’t what Celestia has told me. She said that I’m still supposed to learn about my responsibilities and not to worry about my title.”
“Smart lady. Though she does have plenty of wisdom to draw upon.”
“Indeed she does. Someday I hope to be just as wise as she is.”
“I’m pretty sure there’s a cap somewhere so I’m sure you could manage it one day. Still, it will never be you who thinks it, but those around you who will let you know when that time comes.”
Damn, that was actually a pretty good line on the fly ! Way to go me !
She seemed to absorb those words as Rarity came back down the stairs. She was levitating two bags together and was also doing the same with one of the outfits separately.
“I have your order ready right here. Now while I don’t particularly like some aspects of it, I find myself less concerned with them after seeing what Discord would dress you up in. Here you are darling.”
“Thank you Rarity,” I said as she levitated the outfit towards me. “I kind of wonder how I’ll be able to get into it though.”
That was when a horrible realization struck me. Discord had told me that he would loan me this outfit until I received my new one from Rarity. At that moment, I was receiving my new outfit from Rarity which meant that the role my current coverings were holding was coming to an end. I may have realized that, but I didn’t have enough time to turn thought into action.
As soon as her outfit for me touched my outstretched arm, the outfit I was wearing vanished in a flash. I was instantly back to what I was wearing this morning. Well no, if what I was feeling was correct then he had decided to be a complete ass about it and made my underwear disappear too. I didn’t dare look down to confirm it visually. Instead, I just reacted by grabbing the clothing hanging from my arm and used it to cover my manhood.
That seemed to snap Rarity from whatever she was thinking and instantly there was a shriek and a ton of towels coming from nowhere to pile on top of me. It ended up burying me up to my neck by the time it was done. It was only then that I focused on them again and noticed that their faces were as red as ripened tomatoes. Rarity was covering her eyes while Twilight seemed to be bluescreening from the whole event.
I, however, had a much different thought that I decided to voice.
“I am going to get Discord back for this. I swear it !”
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
When It's Time to Party We Will Party Hard
Well, thankfully my day didn’t get any worse. After that little incident where the ugly suit disappeared, I was given a shade divider to hide behind while I put my new clothes on. They were a perfect fit, of course, and felt quite nice to the touch. Sure, Rarity had put sleeves on the shirt like she wanted, but they were short like I asked for and it had a wide collar so I didn’t feel so encompassed while wearing it. The pants were the same type as the ones I came in only they didn’t have the stripe down the side. The socks were very comfortable as well. Unfortunately, she didn’t make me any underwear so I was forced to go commando. The shirt was an off white color while the pants were a royal blue. I was given five pairs of each of them including the set of clothes I was wearing.
I thanked Rarity for the new wardrobe and proceeded to leave. That is, until I realized that Twilight was still stuck in shock. Both Rarity and I helped snap her out of that stupor quickly and we left shortly afterwards with another apology from myself.
With that little mess sorted out, the two of us headed back to my place. After the day I had, I didn’t want to do anything else except maybe something to get back at Discord with. Fate had other plans for me. In my case, fate was a pink pony named Pinkie Pie. She showed up not too long after I left Rarity’s place with a look on her face that said ‘follow me or else’. Seeing as I’m not that dense just yet, I followed her with Twilight in tow.
Eventually, the three of us arrived at Sugarcube Corner. The place was a little busier than when I showed up yesterday, but only slightly. For those of you with a not so good memory that meant that there was a single customer in there during the second visit. That time was also different since I saw Mrs. Cake there. When she noticed me, I smiled and gave her a wave of my hand. She smiled nervously and waved back at me. I know she was trying to be friendly and I appreciated the gesture. I figured she wouldn’t want me scaring off any more business so I followed Pinkie to the kitchen.
When we walked in, I noticed that the kitchen was substantially less messy than before. There were several dishes in the sink and some more on the counter next to it. The island countertop, however, was covered with treats of all kinds. Well, all the ones I had liked yesterday.
After asking Pinkie what was going on, she told me that my party was happening today. I was surprised since I didn’t get an invitation this time. Apparently, she took the comment we had said about seeing her tomorrow to mean that I would expect her to throw my party the next day. Therefore, she had gotten the food ready and was waiting for me to decide a location before she started decorating. After some thought, I decided to hold the party at my house. It gave me the option of how many guests I could house that way.
After deciding on the location, we gathered up the party food and headed out that way. Surprisingly, Mrs. Cake grabbed some of the food and helped us to the party. I managed to get the opportunity to apologize for the mess that Pinkie had made on my behalf. All was forgiven since she considered the fact that she got some new recipes out of it for customers in the future who had issues like mine. She was also grateful that I helped clean up afterwards since usually she and her husband had to help do it. Hopefully, I came across nice enough that she wouldn't be so nervous around me. At least by the time we arrived at my house that seemed to be the case.
For the record, at that time I was actually glad that there wasn't any lock on the door so we could get in easily. Twilight's magic let her open the door, but she wouldn't in good conscious unlock any door that wasn't hers. That did make me think about the fact that unicorns could probably unlock anything that wasn't magically sealed. That led me to think about how that kind of magic could be abused if not careful. And that led me to realize just how honest they must all be if there wasn't any real crime rate for them at all. Well, at least there wasn't enough that there were any locks other than in the palace. Of course, I may have just been misremembering things.
Luckily for all of us, Discord wasn't there to mess with the preparations. It didn't take too long with the four of us and a fully functional party cannon. I made sure to let Pinkie know that I only wanted a few guests since I’m not a party animal or anything close. I let her know to only invite a few ponies other than the ones who comprised the Elements of Harmony. She wasn’t too happy about it, but I managed to convince her after a while.
I did invite Mrs. Cake to stay if she wanted to, but she declined saying that she didn’t want to be anywhere near the place where Discord lived. I suppose I didn’t really blame her for that. Though it did finally give me some clarity about a few things. It hadn’t been circulated much, but many of the ponies in town had learned that I was sharing a house with Discord. From there the rumors had dissolved into all kinds of things like I was his pet or a personal servant or a plaything to keep the town from being personal playpen. The one I learned about that I hated the most was how I was believed to be Discord’s ‘coltfriend’. That certainly gave me some mental anguish.
I let her know that I was just here for a short time and that he was here to keep an eye on me along with Twilight and her friends. I did have to backpedal quickly once I think she got the wrong idea that Discord himself had to help with keeping an eye on me. I gave her a quick rundown that stated that Discord brought me here with a complicated spell and as such was responsible for my well-being in the loosest sense of the word. In the end, I think she understood what I was saying and as such I had sort of become a pity case. I didn’t want to be a pity case, but I felt I couldn’t get any other reaction so I just left it at that.
As it started to get dark out, the first guests began to show up. A small group of three ponies. I didn’t recognize them, but I was a cheery host none the less. Well, cheery may be a bit much, but since I lived there I was the co-host of the party and I was going to be a gracious host as much as my slight anxiety towards meeting new ponies would allow me to be. I thanked them for showing up and, thanks to Twilight still sticking around, the three of them didn’t run off in a panic.
The next pony to show up was Rainbow Dash. I held out my fist to see if she would give me a fist bump, or hoof bump for ponies. Whatever. She reciprocated, but to my surprise it hurt a little bit. I bit down the minor pain and had a quick chat with her. Mostly I had a talk with her about getting back at Discord. She was actually hesitant at first, but I finally got her on board.
After her, there were a couple more random ponies followed by, of all ponies, Fluttershy. It took some work but she said that the reason she showed up in the end was because she didn’t want to disappoint Pinkie Pie by not showing up to a small party she was throwing. I did offer to let her skip this party, saying that I wouldn’t feel bad about her not staying. She, being the kind one, declined and ended up coming inside and immediately gravitated towards Rainbow Dash. That was her comfort zone and I did not feel like messing with it.
Applejack and Rarity showed up together with a few other ponies including Big Macintosh. I gave them all a nice greeting, especially Rarity since I thought she would appreciate the formality of it. They all seemed to be quite friendly at that point. My guess is that the two of them had calmed down the rest of the group so that they didn’t feel nervous around me. I decided not to do anything that might antagonize them from leaving and just decided to remain friendly. It seemed to work well enough and they all went inside.
Finally, Pinkie arrived and with a pony I finally recognized. I take that back. She came with a dragon I recognized. She bounced her way over to my house with Spike in tow. He didn’t look as though he was too excited to be coming here. Oh well, I have no idea why he’s being like that unless Pinkie woke him up from a nap. Actually, that’s probably what happened seeing as he stifled a yawn soon after I thought that. As soon as they made it to the door, I greeted them both and let Pinkie know that there were plenty of guests already here. Upon hearing that, she zipped inside to serve as co-host of the party. I gave Spike a handshake and showed him inside.
The atmosphere inside wasn’t too great. Well, it made sense considering that it felt more like a meet and greet than a party with just me being in charge. Thankfully, with Pinkie there she managed to lighten the mood with a little music. It was just some generic music that I think I actually recognized as the background music from the CMC in season one. You know, that one in the background when they go crusading? Screw it, I sound like an idiot. At least the guests were digging the music.
After some mingling, well I really shouldn’t call it that but I still will, the final guest arrived. Discord made a grand entrance by literally emerging from the wall. The reaction he got was priceless.
Because he didn’t get any reaction at all.
He was certainly confused by the lack of reaction from his dramatic entrance. He pouted for a moment before heading over to Twilight and grabbed her in close. I couldn’t tell what he said over the music, but he seemed surprised that Twilight do anything except start talking to another pony that had come in with Rarity. Seeing this reaction made him get very confused.
Knowing that I shouldn’t keep looking at him or else I’d draw his attention, I headed over to the music setup that Pinkie had provided. She seemed to notice me without even having to look at me and handed me a microphone as the song ended. I tapped on it a few times to get everyone’s attention before I spoke.
“Thank you all for showing up. I know you didn’t have to considering that you don’t really know me. My name’s Seth. I’m a human on vacation here in Ponyville. Yes, it’s a vacation since I’ll be heading back home in a few weeks.”
I heard an aww come from who I think was Pinkie Pie.
“Still, I bet you’re wondering why here since there are so many places I could visit in Equestria.”
I heard a bit of a murmur before continuing.
“Well, the reason for that is I wanted to visit a few friends of mine like Pinkie here,” I stated as I motioned towards Pinkie, “and Twilight over there,” I motioned towards her while Discord seemed to have disappeared.
As I was about to continue speaking, I noticed that the microphone was now in the shape of Discord’s head. I ignored it and continued onwards.
“I don’t really know Equestria that well and I decided that I’d rather see my friends than just head out and try to find things to see that I may not even like. I personally don’t have many friends at all so it just seemed to be the sensible choice.”
I put some emphasis on the word sensible because I knew he didn’t like that. That was the point. This was my payback. You see, the thing about Discord is that he really does a great deal of the things he does because he’s basically an attention whore. He craves it. If you deny him that, then he will either break off, or he’ll escalate. However, he can’t escalate or else he’ll be stuck in the doghouse. It wasn’t a perfect plan, but I had confidence in it’s success.
“I have some other friends here, but I’ll cut that short.”
I saw Twilight facehoof out of the corner of my eye. I briefly wondered what that was about before continuing.
“Now, uh, I’m not the most sociable being out there, but I hope that this party that Pinkie is holding at my place will help put you at ease over what is most likely the only human you’ve ever seen. I’d also like to thank Discord for letting me host this here since he hasn’t expressed any interest in anything remotely chaotic like a party.”
I heard some giggles and watched the microphone turn back to normal. A second later and Discord appeared at the music table with a bemused look on his face.
“Alright, I see what you all are doing now. I guess I’ll just have to up my game then.”
He went to snap his fingers, but a quick glare from Fluttershy made him hesitate. I was going to pull one more prank on him, but I doubted that I could make it work then so I stepped in there.
“Alright Discord, you know what’s up. Now, I set this up because I was not happy about getting dressed up in that hideous costume and paraded from here to Phillydelphia and back. Now while I don’t mind a harmless prank and yes there wasn’t really much harm in this one either, but I’m not going to be your little punching bag when you get bored. I’ve been defending you to all these ponies the whole time and then you pulled this on me. I know the point of this was to make me look like a fool and congratulations you pulled that off. However, you’re not going to win over any other ponies if you keep pulling off these little stunts on a daily basis. That’s what got you put in stone in the first place. I don’t want to see you get stuck in there again for something you could easily avoid. As much as I know this won’t be popular, you are also my friend. The really annoying friend that really grows on you no matter what you do. So please, for the sake of our friendship, can you please not pull these pranks so constantly?”
“You really do consider me your friend don’t you?” he asked.
“Yes I do, but if I go back to Earth I will feign ignorance on the matter if anyone asks,” I said jokingly.
“Oh alright, I suppose I can be civil and not prank ponies all the time. After all, I did say that I would be good for Fluttershy too.”
I looked at Fluttershy who had a pleasant grin on her face.
“Great! Now that that’s settled, can you play a track on here that these ponies can party to? You know the one I’m thinking of.”
“I sure do!”
With a snap of his claws, the music station came to life with a new song.
"When it's time to party we will party hard !"
As the music started up, I pulled Discord in to me.
“I’m glad we settled this before things got out of hand,” I said just loud enough for him to hear me over the music.
“I am too. I was about to summon a horde of rampaging animals to run rampant in here.”
“And I was about to have Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie tar and feather you if you didn’t see things my way.”
The two of us laughed together as the party raged on.
Author's Note
This chapter was one of the most difficult chapters I've ever had to write. If you read my blog then you know why. Still, over two thousand words in about twenty four hours makes me feel like I haven't lost my touch as a writer. The lack of good content surely did though. I really hope that things get back on track now.
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
I Just Forgot, That's All
A huge battle was laid out before me. Groups of humans were fighting against an onslaught of monsters. It was a massive fight unlike almost anything that I could imagine. Yet, for some reason I wasn’t surprised. Despite some of the things I could make out from the overwatching height I was currently at, none of what I was seeing seemed out of the ordinary. It was like I was expecting this to happen. Even the fact that I noticed Twilight off to my side watching the chaos with utter shock didn’t phase me a bit.
However, the sight of Luna to my other side was a surprise. She was also looking at the battle with a look of shock. However, her face was much more subdued and looked even analytical.
“Even we have never seen such a battle as this in mine lifetime.”
“I doubt it as well,” I added with my consciousness coming to the forefront as I realized that with Luna there I was in a dream.
“What manner of beasts are these?” she said pointing towards the battlefield.
I looked back to the battle to confirm what she was seeing.
“Oh those? Those are called hollows. Hollows are formed from the spirits of deceased humans that are corrupted by some means.”
“That sounds utterly horrifying.”
“True. The only way to deal with them is with a shinigami. There are quite a few of them down there as well.”
As I said that, I pointed down to the battlefield. In specific, I was pointing towards the visage of one of people in the air above the fighting. I couldn’t see his face, but I recognized Captain Hitsugaya’s bankai anywhere.
“Shinigami, or Soul Reapers as they are also called, are tasked with fighting hollows. When they destroy a hollow, their spirit is cleansed of the corruption and they move on to, uh, whatever the next step on from there is. I forget that part,” I stated fumbling for an answer.
“I see. We are fortunate that they are here then,” she said sounding slightly relieved.
“I’m not really surprised. This is my dream after all.”
“Thou misunderstandith the situation. This isn’t merely a dream. This is also the future,” she stated as she faded from view.
As she disappeared, I looked over to Twilight, then to the battlefield. I shuddered as I realized something. This was one of my precognitive dreams.
“Wake up Seth!”
I awoke with a jump. It had been a very long time since someone had physically woken me up. I looked over to where it had come from while my heartbeat slowed back down. There at the end of my gaze was Twilight Sparkle standing there with a small smile.
“Twilight? What time is it?” I asked a bit groggily.
“It’s a little after sunrise. I was worried that we might forget again what we were supposed to do yesterday.”
I sat up in the bed and rubbed my eyes a bit before continuing.
“What were we supposed to do yesterday? I forget.”
“We were going to try and help my friends regain their memories!” she exclaimed in an annoyed tone.
“Oh yeah,” I stated as I remembered that little plan.
“Exactly! Discord’s little stunt yesterday has ruined my plans for today! I didn’t even remember that we were supposed to do that until you were talking about our friends during the party. I had an entire list of things that I needed to do for the day! Now I’ll have to reschedule all of them to accommodate this situation!”
“Look if it’s an inconvenience to you I can go do this on my own. Your duties as princess take precedence over some memories that are kind of inconsequential.”
“Forgetting about your friends is hardly inconsequential!”
“But we barely made-”
I stopped myself right there. Wasn’t I on the other side of this argument a few days ago? Things were just getting confusing.
“Alright. You win Twilight. Let’s see if we can get this done in a hurry so you can try to salvage the day you planned on.”
“Great! We can start immediately!”
“Do you mind if we start after I got dressed first?”
Twilight blushed and teleported herself out of my room amidst some quiet mutterings. After she left, I emerged from my bed and quickly dressed myself. I was feeling a bit better that morning than I had the previous few. Maybe it was because of the party last night? Or maybe it could’ve been what I ate? I guess I was thinking about it too much. I had days like these all the time back home. Just because I’m in a different world doesn’t mean that I’m really any different at the basic level. Of course, that doesn’t mean I don’t want to change, but that’s a horse of a different color.
Speaking of which, Twilight was waiting for me as I exited my room. I gave her a nice little ruffle of her upon seeing her and knowing she wasn’t Rarity.
“What was that for?” she asked irritatedly.
“I want to pet the pretty pony,” I replied in a silly sounding voice.
I think she had a conflict on whether to be shy about the compliment or exasperated by the silly talk. She settled on the latter fairly quickly. She let out a snort and continued on.
“The first pony we should talk to is Applejack. She should be out in the fields by the time we arrive.”
“Does her whole family alternate who goes into the fields and who operates the stand at the marketplace?”
“Indeed they do. They rotate the duties to keep themselves from getting overworked.”
“Was that before or after Applebuck season?” I asked sarcastically.
“Big Mac hurt his leg before the start of the season. It’s not right to-”
“Sorry,” I interrupted, “my jokes don’t come across very well sometimes. I was just kidding about that.”
Her rant seemed to die in her throat. Instead she just sighed.
“Come on. Let’s just head to Applejack’s place.”
I closed the door behind me and we headed into the living room. The whole place had been cleaned up after the guests had left. It was a pretty good party. None of the guests even ran away from Discord when he approached them. Speaking of Discord, he was lounging out on the couch as we came in.
“Hello there! I’m so glad to you up and about on this beautiful day!” he exclaimed in a sing song voice.
I looked outside and saw that indeed it was perfectly sunny and warm. Of course, I liked it when it was overcast, but that’s just me.
“It is at that,” I replied. “I better grab the parasol that Rarity lent me before I head out.”
“Oh? What’s the rush? You haven’t even had any breakfast yet. Whatever you’re doing can wait until after that.”
“You seem awfully nice today,” Twilight commented. “There’s something going on here.”
“Oh don’t you worry about me,” Discord stated as he phased through the bottom of the couch and then came through the ceiling right next to Twilight. “I’m not going to be doing anything to anypony at all today. Besides, I heard you talking about returning your friends memories and I don’t feel like getting in the way of that. Now, about that breakfast.”
There was suddenly a weird lurching sensation and I found myself sitting at the table before I knew what was happening. Twilight occupied a seat to my side and seemed equally confused. Just as suddenly, two bowls of cereal slid over in front of each of us. I looked inside and saw it was full of Frosted Flakes of all things. I was especially impressed that the milk in it hadn’t spilled. Well, until I realized ‘magic!’ anyway.
“I appreciate the gesture,” I said, “but you know I’m diabetic. I’m pretty sure you’re tired of hearing it by now.”
“Yes, I’m well aware of it. This isn’t actually what you think it is. I made it specially for you in mind. It doesn’t have an ounce of sugar in it at all! Now, eat up!”
I wasn’t really sure how that worked, but I figured if I declined my stomach would rumble comically like it seemed to have done several times since I had arrived. I grabbed the spoon that I didn’t notice until then and dug in. Twilight looked much more leery about eating hers before relenting and eating her bowl. I’ll admit, if he hadn’t told me that they weren’t Frosted Flakes I would never have noticed the difference. They tasted exactly as I remembered them to be. I guess given the amount of time he was on Earth he had all the time he ever needed to get the taste right. It didn’t take too long to finish off that bowl and Twilight was even faster given that she, for some reason, dove right into the bowl without using a spoon.
“Thanks for the food Discord. It was good,” I said gratefully.
“Oh it was no trouble at all. Seriously, it was a snap.”
He demonstrated the fact by snapping his claws and we found ourselves back in the living room right where we left. Thanks to all the teleporting I had done, it had barely affected me at all. More so considering that there wasn’t the odd lurching sensation from before. Discord was even laying back on the couch like nothing had happened at all.
“Now that that’s over with, you two go on your merry little way. I have something to do later.”
“What are you up to now?” Twilight asked suspiciously.
“Why nothing too rambunctious my dear. I’m merely looking after a few fillies after they get out of school today.”
“You’re what?!”
“Let’s go Twilight. He’s not going to do anything to some little children. Even if he was his old self, which I know he’s not, he’s not depraved enough to mess with them like that.”
Twilight opened her mouth and looked like she was going to argue with me for a moment. Instead she sighed and closed her mouth back up.
“Your right. I guess I’m just not used to him yet. We should get going.”
She led the way over to the door, opened it, and walked out calmly. I was a little taken aback by how easy that seemed to be, but in the end I simply shrugged and followed her out. I took a quick look back to see Discord waving his goodbyes to us. I smiled and reciprocated before grabbing Rarity’s parasol and closing the door behind me. We kept walking for a few minutes before she spoke up again.
“I can’t believe you’re letting Discord loose to watch some random fillies!”
“One, it’s not random,” I said opening up Rarity’s parasol and using it to shield myself from the sun. “If anything resembling logic occurs around here then he’s looking after the Crusaders. Two, I have the utmost confidence that he isn’t going to do a thing to them because he knows that if something happens to them then no matter what Fluttershy does he will be about five seconds away from being trapped in stone again. It won’t even matter if it’s not his fault. He’s basically holding himself responsible for their well being. Which is quite the step up for him in my opinion.”
I looked at Twilight while we walked down the road. I could see her mulling these facts around in her head. I know I had confidence in Discord. Sure, his track record wasn’t great, but unless he’s acting, which he isn’t that great at in all honesty, he’s going to try and give this a shot.
“All things considered, Twilight, he’s probably just going to watch them get into their usual antics which itself can create quite a bit of chaos. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s just going to watch that and laugh at the chaos that they make. Heh, who watches the Watchmen?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Nothing. Just referencing something from home. Still, I doubt he’ll do anything and he’ll be content to just sit back and relax.”
“But that’s also what I’m concerned about! If he’s going to be watching them, then he needs to be responsible for them not getting into any trouble! If anything, I’d expect him to guide them into trouble!”
“Maybe, but then again that’s where point two comes into play again.”
“Discord is smart enough to figure out a way to get out of being blamed,” she stated like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“Holy crap Twilight!” I yelled; getting irritated at the situation. “Give the guy a chance alright!”
“We’ve been giving him chances!” she countered. “You’ve given him several and he has been giving you nothing but problems in return.”
“Exactly! He’s been doing this to me ! He hasn’t done anything to any ponies whatsoever! Which means that if he comes to bite me in the ass again, you’ll still be out of the line of fire. Granted, my patience with him is getting pretty strained too. I’m honestly getting close to my last leg on second chances with the guy, but this morning has definitely started out better than the previous few so I’m willing to try and give him face value at his word today. I’m giving him today, and I suppose if anything happens I’ll relent and move to your side of the argument. Alright?”
“Uuugh… Fine,” she said dejectedly. “But don’t expect me not to say I told you so when this comes crashing down once again.”
It seemed a bit petty of her to say that, but I didn’t mind as I watched the farmhouse of Sweet Apple Acres come into view. I was only able to make out one figure sitting on the front porch of the place. That pony would be Granny Smith and it seemed that this time she wasn’t sleeping, I think. It was kind of hard to tell with her sometimes. As we got closer, my guess was confirmed. She just seemed to be rocking on her little rocking chair without a care in the world.
“Hello there Granny Smith!” Twilight said quite warmly.
Granny Smith looked our way and smiled back.
“Hello there youngin’. Ya come tah see Applejack have ya?”
“Yes we have. We wanted to talk to her about something important.”
“Well that’s nice. Too bad ya missed her goin’ intah town.”
“But I thought that she was supposed to be in the fields today,” she stated confusedly.
“Well she was, but Big Macintosh said that he had somethin’ on his mind and wanted tah keep goin’ with the applebucking today too. We tried tah get ‘em tah talk about it, but it weres no use. So Applejack agreed tah goin’ tah town fer the day.”
I chuckled at the thought of how her little talk about rotation didn’t matter today. I’m pretty sure Granny Smith hadn’t noticed me until then. Why you ask? Well, this happened…
“Jumpin’s Jehosephat!” she screamed as she jumped out of her chair. “It’s furless bear! Run fer yer lives!”
And she proceeded to run away...at a pace snails could outrun.
“Don’t worry Granny Smith,” Twilight spoke with a soothing voice. “He’s not a furless bear.”
“Yeah, I’m more of a hairless ape. Ohh, ohh ohh. See?” I said while hunching over and scratching my butt for full effect.
“What the heck is an ape?” Twilight asked confusedly.
I had to think about that for a second. Not because I couldn’t respond to the question, but because the question itself made me think about something. Where were all the primates in MLP? They keep showing all manner of animals thanks to Fluttershy, but for some reason I couldn’t think of a single one of them being a primate. I think the closest anything came to resembling such was that Ahuizotl character. I mean, other than humans, which Celestia told me had existed here before, I couldn’t think of a single instance of ever seeing one in the show. Why was that? What sense did that make?
“SETH!!!”
I jumped at hearing Twilight yell into my thoughts. I had completely zoned out everything around me and it took an impressive shout to get my attention once more.
“Sorry about that. That question kind of made me think about some stuff. It doesn’t matter what an ape is. We should go to Fluttershy’s since it’ll probably take less time than going to town.”
“That seems really inefficient. We should head to town and talk to Applejack and Rarity. I know both of them are in town and while we are there we can see if Rainbow Dash is around. If not, we can head to Fluttershy’s place next, get her memory back, and have her help getting Rainbow Dash to you if necessary.”
“That sounds good,” I stated bluntly. “Let’s teleport on over to Ponyville.”
“Why? We can keep walking there easily enough.”
Oh joy. More walking. Under the sun.
“I miss having magic.”
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
Even though I was silently complaining to myself the whole way, it didn’t take us long to get to Ponyville. Maybe half an hour when all was said and done. My trip was not too bad with Twilight there this time as opposed to usual. The reason why being that I managed to get her talking about her Daring Do books. It was when I mentioned the episode where Rainbow Dash got hurt and started reading it. I don’t really remember what got me there, but I don’t really care.
The mention of the book prompted her to go into detail about the series itself. I was able to learn quite a bit about the first two books that I didn’t know, or perhaps I didn’t remember, from before in just that short period of time. It did make me wonder about what it would be like if either of them met her for real. I doubt that’ll happen unless I punch another hole in reality. Still, it made nice conversation while we walked over to the Apple stand.
The two of us found her stand fairly quickly. We did end up waiting for a few minutes while Applejack took care of a few customers lined up at her stall. That finished, we calmly walked up to her with genuine smiles plastered across our faces.
“Well howdy ya’ll!” she spoke cheerfully, “What can I do fer ya?”
“Hey there Applejack,” Twilight began. “The two of us came to work out a problem we had that involves several ponies, including you.”
The smile on Applejack’s face fell at hearing those words.
“That sounds serious. What’s this all about?”
“It involves our friend Seth here. We seem to have lost our memories from when he was here before.”
“So ya got proof then didja?”
“Pinkie’s memories as well as my own have come back.”
“You know,” I interjected, “if you wanted proof you could have asked either Luna or Celestia. They both have memories of my last visit that you could have them describe to you. Celestia especially has some interesting memories of me. Discord could also have told you some things, though I doubt you would ask him.”
“Yeah, well, ahm still not sure how he convinced me to let him watch Applebloom while she goes crusadin’.”
“Wait, you gave him permission to do it?” asked Twilight without a hint of hiding her astonishment.
“Yeah, I know Twilight. Like ah said, I’m still not sure how he convinced me. Ah still gave my word that he could do it and ah ain’t backin’ out on muh word fer no reason.”
“Well I don’t like it.”
“Let it go Twilight. We need to focus on the matter at hand."
“Oh, yes, right. Alright Applejack, Pinkie's and my memories have already returned and I want to help recover the memories that my closest friends have lost. We’re starting with you if that’s alright?”
“It’s fine by me. What kinda spell did ya need tah cast on me?”
“Actually, spells don’t seem to work with this problem. We’ll need to jog your memory the old fashioned way.”
“Ah see. How do ya reckon that’ll work?”
“What?” I spoke up. “Does nobody know modern medical practice around here or something? What we do is take a trip down memory lane. I keep talking about our shared experiences and hope that something makes you remember.”
“That don’t sound mighty reliable.”
“Well, back on Earth it isn’t, but this is some kind of magical block of your memories. I’m pretty sure that this falls into the category of the magic of friendship which seems to overcome any obstacle in it’s path. It seems to be that kind of deus ex machina.”
“Deuceawhatnow?” Applejack asked quite bluntly.
“It’s Latin… I think. Anyway it’s beside the point. We need to work on the issue at hand.”
“Well alright. If both of ya’ll say so ah guess it won’t hurt none tah try.”
“Good. Now, I guess we need to figure out a starting point. Something that we both remember… Something dramatic or personal or intense.”
“Well ah ain’t goin’ tah remember anything if ya don’t talk about anything at all.”
“Yeah, you have a point. I gotta think about this.”
“Come on Seth!” Twilight yelled. “Surely you can think of something?”
“It’s not that easy Twilight,” I said as I turned my head to look at her. “I can remember several things that involved Applejack, but it’s all stuff that I saw on the show like overtaxing herself during applebuck season or working out issues with her family reunion.”
“Well, what about what happened when she was trapped in her portal?”
“Huh. Yeah. That might work.”
I turned back to Applejack with a renewed drive.
“Alright. It went something like this. Right after my fight with Discord, you and your friends got sent to some far off places away from each other and in totally different worlds.”
I paused when I saw her face and I could tell she was a bit sceptical, but it looked like she wasn’t going to try and stop me so I continued on.
“I was the only one who could track you down so I went after all of you in turn. When I came to get you, you were being held captive by an eccentric, rich, and evil ghost man by the name of Vlad Plasmius. I don’t know why , but that’s the eccentric part I suppose. Basically, I busted into his office building to come get you out. It took me a bit to force him out of hiding with you, but I managed it after some careful coercion. It took some convincing and a show of force, but I got you free and we had a tussle with him. Honestly, the best part was when I used a spell on you and turned you into a forty foot tall Applezilla and you proceeded to buck him into orbit. That was awesome!”
I almost missed it, but for a second I saw a twinkle in her eyes that reminded me of Twilight when she gets her strokes of brilliance. It was followed by Applejack smiling widely and giving a loud ‘yeehaw’!
“Yessir! That there was a mighty fine buck to that ornery fella! I remember the look on his face as clear as day. In fact, ah remember the whole kitten caboodle of that day. I remember it all!”
“SCORE!!!” I yelled triumphantly.
My little outburst got several ponies’ attention. That, in turn, brought me back to my awkward state of mind as until then I realized that I had actually managed to get used to the way the ponies were looking at me. Or perhaps I should say that I was getting used to it because they were actually staring at me less after yesterday’s debacle. Now I was back to the center of attention again and I didn’t like it.
“Alright,” Twilight said; interrupting my self-conscious behavior, “that’s one pony down and three more to go. Let’s head over to Rarity’s place and get her memory back!’”
I managed to start following her slowly as the stares started to taper away from me again. I suppose they can’t be gawking at the oddity all day, after all. Things to do and all that jazz. It did give me more confidence as it felt like they were no longer as interested in me as before or at least more careful about showing it visibly.
“Good luck with what ya’ll are doin’! And remember that ya’ll owe me a week a work on the farm!” Applejack exclaimed as we headed off to our next destination.
I grumbled a bit about her bringing that up as we headed off. It took us about another ten minutes before we made it to Carousel Boutique. The time we spent getting to there wasn’t really filled with any talking that go around. Well, silence was kind of my friend and I only talk to myself when no one is around… mostly. Don’t judge me.
“Okay. Same game plan as before. Right coach?”
“I’m your coach?” asked Twilight.
“Well, you used to be my teacher so, uh, go team?”
Twilight rolled her eyes and proceeded to head into the building with me following close behind.
“Welcome to Carousel Boutique where everything is chic, unique, and magnifique!” came from Rarity right on cue.
“Hi Rarity!” I yelled back while scanning for her. “How’s business?”
“Oh it’s simply wonderful, darling,” she responded as I spotted her coming from a different room. I forget which room that led to.
"That sounds nice," I said a bit cheerily.
"Rarity," Twilight stepped in with, "we need to discuss a problem we have regarding you."
She barely said that and both Rarity and myself reacted to it. My reaction was slight aggravation and a bit of amusement since I could tell that Rarity wasn't going to take that the right way. Rarity's reaction was pretty much shock at hearing Twilight say such a thing.
"Why Twilight, I don't know what problems the two of you have with me. It's the clothing isn't it? I knew you wouldn't like it!"
She followed that up by rushing me and wrapping up my leg so fast that I almost thought she teleported to do it.
“Why didn’t you listen to me-he-he!?!” she finished looking like she was about to start crying.
I looked over from the pony at my feet and over to Twilight; giving her a deadpan look. She was busy rubbing her forehead with her hoof. She obviously had figured out the problem going on.
“No Rarity,” Twilight responded finally. “The clothes aren’t the problem.”
“Yeah, I like them,” I added trying to be helpful.
For a moment, Rarity looked at me like I had grown another head.
“I’d ruffle your mane to make you feel better, but I know that you would clobber me for it,” I said with a smile.
That seemed to break her from her little tirade. She stood back up and made to look like nothing she had done in the last thirty seconds had actually happened.
“Well, if that isn’t the problem then what is it?”
“We need to bring back the memories that we have all seemed to have lost from when he was here before. The two of us are here to help with your memories right now.”
“I see. I do suppose that forgetting about a friend is an awful thing to do. What can I do to assist?”
“I’m afraid spells don’t work in this situation. Therefore, I’m going to let Seth here start talking about any shared personal experiences that the two of you had and see if it jogs your memory.”
“Which is going to be difficult since I think out of everybody I spent the least amount of time with her.”
“That’s why you were going to use the time when she was stuck in that particular universe as your way of reminding her. Remember?”
“You know, I’m surprised that with all the memory issues going on that we haven’t had any memory puns pop up by now. I wonder if it’s because Pinkie isn’t around?”
“Focus Seth,” Twilight admonished.
“Right, right. Well, the place I went to there was actually an alternate reality of this place so I almost ended up grabbing the wrong Rarity. After I cleared that up without alerting anyone to my presence, I found out that you were being cared for by some eccentric pony by the name of Sandcroft who I’m getting the feeling wasn’t really a pony, but some kind of magic demigod dressed up like a pony. The top hat he was wearing was pretty nice though. You’d like it I bet.
“Anyway, he was taking care of you while you were in that dimension and when I went to get you back he asked to be compensated for his trouble. I didn’t have any cash, or bits, or whatever, on me to pay him, but he didn’t really want any anyway. Instead, he had me play a high stakes game where I had to pick you out of a room full of doppelgangers. It took me a bit before I used a question only the real Rarity would know to pick you out. I asked you-”
“-At the party you attended by Pinkie Pie who exactly was surprised?” she said with that twinkle effect going off in her eyes. “I can remember!”
“Yes! Four down and two to go!” I exclaimed with a fist pump.
“Great work. Now we need to head out and see if we can find Rainbow Dash.”
“Oh don’t worry deary. Rainbow Dash said that she was going to see how Fluttershy was doing today.”
I chuckled at hearing that.
“Wow. That was convenient,” I said while twirling the parasol Rarity gave me in my hand. It did remind me. “Oh yeah. Did you want your parasol back Rarity?”
“Oh that’s alright. You can keep it until you head back home.”
“Really? Thank you very much Rarity.”
“Oh it’s no trouble at all.”
“Well,” Twilight spoke up, “now that that’s settled we should head over to Fluttershy’s place. Let’s go.”
I waved goodbye to Rarity and headed back out on my way to Fluttershy’s. So far the method I was using was simple, yet effective in my endeavor. Things were going really well.
And then I panicked. Because I saw Miss Crazy herself; Lyra Heartstrings.
Author's Note
I don't know what Google docs problem with me was, but after two days without letting me access any of my documents it released them on the condition that I would use Gmail as my primary email account and that it log my time there as opposed to other email sights. It didn't say I had to like it though so screw you Google! Anyway, yeah, that first part happened and all I had that wasn't on there was the part after Rarity's crying so most of it was out of my hands and I did not want to do it over.
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
From Point A to Point Ugh
Alright, I probably overplayed the panic I was feeling, but I wasn't exactly thinking that. The last several times I had met Lyra it was basically implied that she wanted to either hump me, capture me, or kill me. The last one I thought mainly because of the conversation I had with her back at the library the second time around. I basically ditched her to help my friends, the ponies, and that may still not have been an acceptable excuse with the look she had on her face.
Well, what was my first plan of action upon seeing Lyra? Diving head first into the bushes in front of Rarity's place. Despite how big I was, they were still able to conceal me from sight.
"What are you doing?"
"Quiet!" I hissed. "I spotted a wild Lyra!"
It was quiet for a few seconds while I think Twilight was looking around. I couldn't tell because she was on the other side of the bush from me. I didn't dare look out since it may give away my position.
"I don't really understand why you would think that's she is all that wild right now."
Oh yeah. Very few cultural references to work with that they understand too.
"You wouldn't under- well yes you would, but that's something else entirely. I mean that you can't let Lyra see me."
"But she doesn't have any memories of you left."
"But she's still Lyra! It doesn't matter if she forgot! Or do you not remember her pounding on your door to see me?"
"When was this?"
"It was during the incident where I accidentally turned everyone here human."
"I was in the basement most of that time and right up almost until you got there. I never heard anypony pounding on the door there other than you."
That got me a little sidetracked.
"Wait, if you didn't hear anyone at the door then how did Pinkie and Rarity get inside?"
She sounded like she was about to say something, but then stopped. I could tell she was thinking about that. It was a conundrum for her as well as myself. Of course, after a minute or so of silence, Twilight spoke up again.
"They probably got in through one of the windows. I don't generally lock those unless there's a storm or when it's windy."
Wow. She solved a Pinkie Pie problem with logic. Color me impressed.
"Now you're getting me sidetracked Seth. I'm sure it isn't that bad."
"Famous last words," I said with a hint of sarcasm. "Anyways, let me know when she isn't there anymore."
"She isn't there anymore," she drolled out.
I pushed my hands through the bush and tried to look in the direction that I saw Lyra in. Unfortunately, that failed miserably. Following that I slowly moved to a kneeling position and looked over the top of the bush. I looked around for a bit to see if I could spot her just in case. After not seeing her anywhere, I got back up to my feet and picked up the parasoul. I then let out a sigh of relief.
Which, in hindsight, was probably like a signal beacon.
"Ohmygoshitsahuman!!!"
I jumped clear from one side of the doorway to the other as I heard Lyra spook me from my left. I immediately put the parasoul in between myself and her with what I'm sure was a look of surprise and terror. Thankfully, Twilight also interposed herself between us slightly.
"Lyra, what are you doing? Can't you see you spooked him by doing that?"
I'm not sure that Lyra heard her. She definitely didn't answer as she had her gaze locked on me. I for one kept my gaze locked right back on her. I did not want her out of my sight again now that she knew I was here. I had no idea what she could do as a unicorn other than levitation and object manipulation. She may not have been a magic specialist like Twilight, but honestly you didn't want to take any unicorn lightly, especially one with an obsession on you. If you did, there was a good chance that you could wind up in her basement as a guinea pig for her to manipulate upon.
"Stay calm now teal pony of suspicious character," I managed to choke out.
"He can talk! I knew it!"
Okay. Good news is that she doesn't remember me. Bad news is that she definitely more intrigued now that she knows she can get answers out of me. Visions of horror briefly flashed in my vision before I just yelled at Twilight while keeping my gaze straight on Lyra.
"Twilight! Get me out of here!"
I watched as Lyra's gaze hardened like she knew she might lose her chance.
"We can all just calm down and discuss this-"
That was about all she managed to get out before I saw Lyra's horn light up. I'm pretty sure Twilight saw it too and that's why she didn't continue from there. I continued to watch as the parasoul lit up with the same color as Lyra's magic which indicated to me that she was going to get that out of my grasp and then do something else to follow up with. At least that's what I think. It only got so far as to feel a slight tug on it before I felt a tingling sensation all over my body. I saw Lyra gasp right before a flash enveloped my vision for a moment and I found myself on a road outside of Ponyville. I hadn't been actually teleported anywhere in about a year, but I honestly didn't feel like it was disorienting at all like the first time I had done it. The sudden change in my field of vision was something that I had gotten used to.
"Okay, so maybe you were right about Lyra."
"It's fine Twilight. I'm just kind of surprised that she hadn't already tried to track me down at my home yet. I'm starting to think that maybe news doesn't travel as fast through Ponyville as I thought."
"That doesn't matter right now. We need to get back on schedule. We're just outside of Ponyville so let's continue on to Fluttershy's place."
"Oui mon capitan!" I stated with a salute.
I watched as she rolled her eyes and started walking down the road. I did admire the fact that wherever Twilight was, she knew instantly where she was going after teleporting. Of course, it didn't last long once I remembered that I used to be able to do the same thing. Her mental map was just much more accurate than my own.
We passed the fork in the road and went on up towards Fluttershy's at a... well, whatever the opposite of a brisk pace is. I may have gotten a boost from Discord in some way that made me not be in pain when I walked for more than a bit, but it did nothing for the speed at which I did it. Both Fluttershy's and Applejack's homes are about a mile from mine and it took me around fifteen to twenty minutes to walk there. A better pace than back home for damn sure, but by no means was it quick for ponies.
For the record, according to my watch it took us just slightly over half an hour to get within view of her cozy little cottage. It hadn't changed a bit since I saw it last. Honestly, nothing ever does seem to change on the surface around here. Sure, the ponies seem to learn and grow, but other than that I saw the same library, the same Sweet Apple Acres, the same cottage, and the same houses that are so much the same that I can't even tell them apart most of the time and definitely can't navigate. Then again... cartoon. The status quo is king. Yet here that only applied to the environment surrounding them. Twilight was the most prime example of change. I kind of wished that I had brought that up. Instead, the two of us walked in silence once again. Even I'll admit that it was getting old.
We made it to the front door not long after we spotted the place. I looked around and noticed several of the animals there had their gaze fixed on me. I say me only because that was what it felt like. It wasn't bad like it had been with the ponies, but it was still a palpable feeling. I ignored it as Twilight knocked on the door and we waited for an answer. It only took a few moments before Fluttershy answered the door.
"Oh! Hello Twilight," she said happily at seeing her friend at the door.
Her demeanor quickly shifted as she spotted me there too.
"Oh, um, hello," she said adawwably.
"It's okay Fluttershy," Twilight said calmingly. "He's just here to have a chat with you. Is Rainbow Dash still here?"
"Yes she is. I'm letting her take a nap upstairs right now."
I snickered quickly at hearing that.
"Sorry," I said while thinking about it. "I just thought that she usually takes her naps up on some clouds."
"Well, um, she usually does," she said while starting to frown. "She just seemed so tired today and, well, I thought she would like to use my bed for a bit instead so I offered to do so."
"Aww, that's so nice of you."
Her frown seemed to turn into a smile when she heard that.
"Well, now that I know she's still here do you mind if the two of us come in to talk to you?" Twilight asked. "We'll keep it down for Dash's sake until she wakes up."
"Oh, I guess that's okay," she answered hesitantly.
"If you aren't comfortable," I said while kneeling down, "then we don't have to come in. Or rather I don't have to since Twilight is still welcome. I can sit out here if you'd prefer."
"Oh, well, that is..." she said; stumbling about while trying to find the right words.
"You don't remember, and I'm not sure I remember when, but I think told you once before; if you're not comfortable with doing something then you don't have to if you don't want to."
I watched as she thought about it for a second.
"It wouldn't be very nice if I invited Twilight inside and not you. You can come in. You know. If you still want to."
"Thank you," I stated and made an after you motion to Twilight.
After she went inside, I stayed on my knees and shuffled my way inside. I still didn't quite understand why the ceilings were so high and yet the door frames were so low. I only made it halfway through the door when something poked my knee. My knees already hurt anytime I put weight directly on them so having that happen as well gave me a knee-jerk reaction and I tumbled the rest of the way forward.
"Oh my goodness! Are you okay?"
"Yeah," I said while a little aggravated. "Something just poked me in the knee is all."
I started rubbing the spot as I rose to a sitting position.
"I'm just glad I didn't roll over anyone. Or any of your animals either."
I stood up and had a look around. The place looked primarily the same as before. I did see a few animals this time around. A couple of birds in some birdhouses, a few mice here and there, and a rabbit as well. Wait. That wasn't some random rabbit. The look it was giving me made me realize that it had to be Angel. It was a real 'don't screw with me' kind of glare. I didn't plan on doing so, especially since if I did then I would lose any cordiality that Fluttershy was willing to give me. I still decided to keep an eye on him while the three of us talked.
"So, what did you both need to talk about?"
"Well, it seems that almost everypony who knew about Seth has lost their memory of him from his previous visit. I wanted all of the Elements of Harmony to regain their memories just in case something happens again."
Wait a tick. That isn't what she was saying earlier. Did she figure something out and not tell me? Oh who am I kidding? Twilight is way smarter than I am. I'll just let her do her thing and she can fill me in later.
"So you have proof then?"
"I seem to recall Applejack saying something like that. Did you think I was lying or something?"
"Well we weren't sure about what was happening. You were just summoned here with Discord and all Princess Celestia would say is that you were an intimate acquaintance."
"That's only because I let her- Oh, wait. Celestia told me not to say anything about that."
"She's keeping secrets from me?" she said sounding a little hurt.
"Look, of course she keeps secrets. We all do. If she had spilled the beans on some of those tests she administered to you then there might have been a chance that you wouldn't have become an alicorn. You remember what happened when you opened that door deep inside Sombra's castle right?"
"You saw that!?!" she said disbelievingly.
"It was from the two part season opener. The door was showing you your worst fears. In the context with the show, it was part of a misdirect to the audience. Anyway, that whole thing was meant as a test to see if you were ready to ascend into being an alicorn. The season finale showed that you had what it took. By the way, was that place the ethereal plane?"
"I'm not supposed to talk about it," she said while looking away.
"Aww man! But I saw it already! I mean... Celestia's sweet aria while walking along that hall of memories... Come on!" I said in a bit of a whiny voice.
"You saw my memories!?!" she yelled while starting to blush slightly.
"It was just scenes from the show. Nothing else," I said a little too casually.
"But they're still my memories!"
"You know what?" I asked getting irritated, "You can ask Celestia about mine. She knows all about me. Just don't say you weren't warned."
"I didn't even get the option of warning somepony! Anyone who watched that was given a free pass through my life!"
"You were in that hall so you know that all the best moments in your life were what was being displayed."
"But it was still my life! It's not supposed to be someone's entertainment!"
I wanted to keep yelling, but honestly I had nothing else to say on my mind. She was, of course, fully justified in what she was saying. The problem is that everything you can think of nowadays can be construed as entertainment. A giggling baby can bring smiles to many, and apparently millions of Youtube views. Hell, to a psychopath someone getting hit by a train can be entertainment. I once managed to entertain myself by laughing at a falling piece of string for five minutes. We're all a little weird sometimes. That's what free will is.
I closed my eyes, let out a big sigh, and opened them once more.
"It is what it is. Neither of us can change that fact. We just have to deal with it. Do you feel any better after that rant?"
"A bit," she said with a sigh that matched my own. "I think I really needed to get that off my back."
"I understand."
"Hey!" a voice yelled from upstairs. "What's with all the racket? Some of us were taking a nap here!"
"Craaap," I stated bluntly.
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
Fun and Games Until You Go Home
For the record, I can be a very patient man. I usually am one. Rainbow Dash, however, can find that spot that annoys me. What is it you may ask? Well, I'm not telling. I think we all have things that we'd rather not talk about. So why do I bring it up in the first place? Because luck is a fickle thing.
You see, what happened is this. After waking Dash up, we decided to just bring her down so we could talk to her sooner instead of waiting for whenever she decided to wake up again. She wasn't exactly happy about having her nap interrupted, but who is really? No, extreme cases don't count. We let Fluttershy calm her down before we got down to business.
Things went along well with Fluttershy. I described the time I found her in Him's clutches and though I could tell she wasn't happy about reliving those memories, they had still returned. Of course, describing what had happened was not exactly easy. Not when Rainbow Dash was getting upset over almost every detail. The way she was fussing over Fluttershy made me have to rethink the discussion that people have had over her being a lesbian. I've always been in the 'no she's not' camp. Although, I still have this sneaking suspicion that she's actually bisexual. It would definitely explain some things. But I'm getting off topic.
With Fluttershy's memory restored, we then calmed Dashie down to a reasonable level before I started trying to jog her memory. This was where my easy streak ended. Everything I tried with her didn't work. I talked about my rescue back in Jump City with Mousse and Terra. When that didn't work I tried talking about the time we met when she barreled into me. Still nothing. I brought up when I told them about how they were a t.v. show, when I turned every pony into a human, even when she pulled off that sweet sonic rainbolt. If anything I thought that talking about a new stunt she performed would do it. Sadly, nothing seemed to work. It didn't help that she also voiced her boredom over half of the stuff we talked about.
We were all stumped. At least Twilight had the good idea of talking about things that happened between Rainbow Dash and the others. I may have been the only human she came into contact with, but she still had plenty of interaction with her friends during that period. However, that ended up being a bust as well. For a while, all we did was think. We racked our brains trying to come up with something.
Eventually, Twilight did think of something. She brought up when I turned them all back into ponies after Discord left. Specifically, she brought up that I left the room with Rainbow Dash to discuss what I had to do to make up for putting my hand on her chest. At that point, I considered getting her memory back a lost cause. It's too bad that the others thought differently. After a little pressure, I relented and took Rainbow Dash to a different part of the house and told her about it.
Of course, that would be what did it. Her memory snapped into place and then, not for the first time I might add, I wished that I had just left her as a human. At least I got a bit of an apology for what happened. After we came back, we had a quick discussion of what we intended to do. In the end, we couldn't decide on a course of action other than to do some research on memory alterations.
With things finally settled, Rainbow Dash took off saying that she would finish getting some sleep at home. I thanked her and Fluttershy for their time before she took off and Twilight and I departed. We both walked back the way we came until we made it to the short road in front of my place. I say short road because it's basically a little more than the same distance from the fence front of Sweet Apple Acres to the building part. It's also a bit wider as well. But, I digress.
It was when we arrived there that we remembered that we hadn't helped out Spike in regards to regaining his memory. We both felt kind of bad forgetting about Spike like that. Sure, he wasn't around that much when I was here last, but that doesn't mean that he isn't important at all. Heck, I was beginning to wonder if they kept him around in the show for any real reason other than the fact that they can't realistically get rid of him. He was important in the back story to get Twilight's destiny moving along, but he hadn't done much since then. They really needed to do something to show Spike's importance.
By the time we realized this issue, it was getting close to sunset. I was a bit surprised by that considering how we didn't really start that late. Of course, Twilight then stated how long it took us to get Dash's memory back. I didn't think it took that long, but I didn't exactly feel like pointing out that inconsistency to her. I mean, I'm wearing a watch for crying out loud. The part that really stings is that I should know just what time of day it is thanks to it, but since no one will give me the literal time of day I can't get the damn thing set!
We went ahead and said our goodbyes and I walked up the road to the house. I stopped up in front of the door and took a look at the sun. It wasn't quite at the horizon yet. Instead, it hung low in the sky emitting a faint orange glow as it sat just to the right of the treeline of the Everfree Forest. In fact, if I walked around to the back of the house, I bet it would be just enough to lose sight of it. It reminded me of the time when I saw that kind of sunset at Rockfest. There, the sun hung low in the sky. I think Seether was finishing their set. The smell of marijuana had faded away. I was there sipping on the last of my lemonade listening to the music and watching the people go by. Good times if you didn't factor in the sunburn. I was red for days and I didn't stop peeling for over two weeks. Still, a good time none the less.
I shook myself from my reverie and went inside. Standing in the middle of the front room was Discord. He was busy messing with the controller for the Xbox- Wait. The Cutie Mark Crusaders were there too. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle were occupying a chair each while Applebloom was laying in the middle of the couch. What the hell?
"You haven't taken them home yet?" I blurted out.
"Quiet!" I heard Scootaloo yell. "He's fighting the boss!"
I went into the room proper to see what he was playing. I recognized it pretty quickly.
"Lollipop Chainsaw? Really?"
"Of course!" Discord shouted while still fighting against the current boss. Said boss was the female zombie that was attacking with wheat threshers. "What other kind of madness would I play? A cheerleader fighting zombies with a transforming chainsaw that turns them into sparkles and rainbows once they're defeated? It's like pure joy!" he cackled.
"Hard to argue with that kind of logic," I answered.
Discord paused the game and sighed.
"And now I'm bored," he said while tossing the controller onto the couch next to Applebloom.
"I want a turn next!" yelled Scootaloo.
And here I was not sure if they would get along. Sure, I knew Discord would enjoy watching them purely for their ability to cause chaos. I mean they were the ones who released him from the statue after a thousand years or so in the first place. That, my friends, is the power of video games. Still...
"Don't you three have to get home? Granted it doesn't bother me either way, but you might get in trouble if you stay."
"Awwww," all three of them whined.
"He's right though," Discord chimed in. "If you all don't get home, I'm pretty sure your sisters will get the torches and pitchforks ready to use."
"Well, what if we stay here for the night? We could have a sleepover!" yelled Sweetie Belle.
I watched as four sets of eyes converged on me. I still didn't care one way or another. If we all had fun then we all had fun. Of course, being the only one there with any notion of responsibility required me to take on a more measured train of thought.
"First things first. You need to get permission. Also, I'm not sure if it's a school night or not. If it is, I don't exactly have anything for you to eat in the morning. I doubt I have a way to wake you in the morning for school."
"You don't have to worry about that," said Scootaloo. "We can go and get permission. I mean, yeah it's a school night, but it's Friday tomorrow. And we can just pack stuff to bring!"
Well, at least I finally knew what day it was. Now if only I could get the time.
"Look, if you can somehow get permission from your guardians, then as long as Discord can take care of you until you leave tomorrow I don't have a problem with you staying."
A chorus of yay's went out and the three of them burst into action.
"Discord, can you teleport them to their homes to make this go faster?"
"I sure can!" he exclaimed while perking up even more. He then snapped his fingers and the three of them disappeared.
"Ha. Didn't even give them a warning did you?"
"Warnings are for chumps," he retorted. "Now then I have a sleepover to get ready for."
"How do you know that they'll get permission? I honestly don't see them getting permission for a sleepover on a school night in this place no matter what we say."
"Oh come now," Discord said while flopping down onto the couch. "You underestimate how convincing they can be."
"Dude unless you did something to some of these ponies I doubt that this is going to happen. Now, toss me the controller. I haven't played this in forever."
Discord shrugged and then grabbed the controller with his tail and tossed it at me lightly. I caught the thing and started playing. A few hours passed and while I had switched to Halo, Discord had been getting really antsy. Of course, I barely noticed because of something I was very curious about.
How the fuck is it that I'm the only human on the planet with an Xbox and yet I'm still finding people for multiplayer matches? And how the hell do they keep getting me with so many assassinations? That was the third time bangyurmum had done that to me in just this match ! Fuck this. Five kills, six assists, and eighteen deaths adds up to I suck. Also, who the hell was BtnMsh? How did he get twenty nine kills and six assists with no deaths? Who the hell doesn't die at least once in a match with those kind of numbers? I'm just glad they were on my team or else we probably would have lost. Hell, I shudder to think of what they would have done to me if I was playing against them. That thought was enough to take me back to the lobby, lest it doth happen, and take some time to check on Discord.
Yikes! He was just laying on the couch again, but that giant smile and the twitching eye were kind of freaking me out a bit.
"I'm starting to worry that they have gotten lost," Discord said in a sullen voice that should not have come from the face that I was looking at.
"Yeah, look, I don't know if they're coming or not, but I'm getting kind of tired."
Discord sat up and looked out the window.
"Yes, I do suppose it is about that time."
"Not usually for me though. Well, I suppose since I got here it's been like that."
"Yes, yes, enough of your prattle. Just go to bed already and leave me alone," he said dismissively with a wave of his paw.
"No need to be a grouch," I said as I placed the controller on one of the chairs. "If they come back, don't be too loud."
With a silent acknowledgement from Discord, I went back towards my room and got into my new, yet not new, routine. A brush of the teeth, a shower, putting all of the used clothes in a corner, messing with my DS for a bit, and then crawling into bed for the night. I knew it would take a while to get to sleep, but it was something that I had begrudgingly gotten used to by then. At least since I had arrived there I had been able to sleep through the whole night instead of waking up five to ten times for no reason. I just kept the covers up and waited for sleep to come. Maybe I'd even have another nice dream with Luna again. If only I could get past the inherent awkwardness between us.
The brightness of the room woke me from my slumber. There was no dream with Luna that time. It was just some vague dream about a beach with nothing but squirrels running around. I think there was a football too. My hand itching got me sidetracked enough to forget the rest. I absently scratched at it while I wondered what I was going to do for the day.
I think Twilight wanted me to get Spike's memory back and then help her with research. I wasn't sure how though. I couldn't read almost anything. Learning a new language from scratch would be agonizing. Yeah, I figured that I could eventually do it. After all, they had English on the covers of some of them. That meant it could be translated with only one conversion.
Fuck that itchiness was getting annoying! I pulled my hands out from underneath the covers to start scratching more intensely. I barely had started before I stopped in shock at what I saw.
It was a very familiar blue horseshoe plastered onto the back of my hand.
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
I'm Back in the Saddle Again
"DISCOOOOORD!!!"
Said creature of that name appeared in my room with a flash.
"You bellowed?"
I turned the back of my hand to face him.
"Would you care to explain this little issue to me?" I asked quite forcefully while showing him my hand.
"Why Seth, I know you like your team and all, but I honestly didn't think you would get a tattoo of them. Especially considering your aversion to pain and needles."
"I am not in a joking kind of mood. What. The hell. Did you do?"
"Oh fine. I suppose an explanation is in order. You remember the fact that I left you high and dry on Earth without magic?"
"Easily."
"Well, it was the truth. You had no magic left inside of you whatsoever. The coin was also drained of magic to fuel my departure back to Equestria. However, there was still a spark of magic left in the coin when I was done. It didn't really matter to me since your coin can't turn ambient chaos on Earth into magic. Only I am capable of doing so. Therefore, the coin remained dormant and probably changed shape to conserve itself.
"Once you returned to Equestria, the coin was capable of absorbing the chaos here. Chaos on Earth is not magical in nature, but chaos on Equestria contains trace amounts of magic. When emitted, the coin can absorb it and turn it into it's own ambient magical force. Every force in Equestria can emit this form of magic, but almost all of it is in such small amounts that it dissipates rapidly after it is emitted. Natural sources of chaotic energy are hard to absorb because of this fact. However, larger scale events take more time to dissipate and because of this are capable of emitting much greater amounts of energy of which are capable of being absorbed. Things like large fires, stampedes, even full scale invasions and cutie marks getting swapped are things that take time to dissipate because of the scale in which they are on.
"However, there are two places on the planet that can emit a constant flow of chaotic energy that actually forms an area of effect. We don't speak of one of them, but the one you are most familiar with is the Everfree Forest. It's natural chaotic energy only stays within a certain area thanks to a certain tree, but it still remains a natural wellspring of chaotic energy. With this domicile being so close to the Everfree Forest the coin can naturally soak up the energy and revert back to it's normal state even if the distance causes the effect to be lessened."
"So the coin then transferred the magic into me?"
"Of course not you ninny! How could it? I took all of your magic back on Earth. There wasn't a speck of it left for you. Since that was the case, the coin couldn't transfer it's magic into a non-magical source. The coin has a maximum capacity to it which you could say makes it like a mana stone. However, without a spark inside of you, you can't take on any magic without some kind of catalyst."
"What about those spells you cast on me? Wouldn't I have magic then?"
"Those spells supported you from the exterior. And it was only one spell."
"Well, then- wait. You did do something didn't you?"
"Yes, I apparently slowed down your brain. Keep up already! I didn't want to give any abundance of my magic away to you so you could fiddle away with it again. Instead, I fed you a tiny spark. Something you could build your own power upon. Can you guess what?"
"I can, but I don't wanna," I said with some irritation growing inside of me.
"Spoilsport. Well, yesterday I decided that you deserved a little gift for all the things that you had to put up with and suffused the cereal I gave you with magic."
He leaned in closely while looking all around for something.
"That was the frosting," he whispered to me while standing back up.
I let out a long sigh.
"So, to summarize: you got tired of picking on me so you fed me some Frosted Flakes that were magically delicious in more ways than one to give me a base to pour more magic inside so that I could have my own magic to mess with so it wouldn't be inconvenient to you. Does that sound close to the madness you want to explain?"
"I suppose that's close enough and I don't want to try again so we'll just say that's right."
"Well, I suppose it's time to get into some old habits."
I accentuated the point by snapping my fingers. A pie then flew into Discord's face. He then used a comically oversized tongue and licked it all off of his face.
"Didn't you use this trick once before?"
"I used cake before."
"Oh right! I was the one who used this trick. Which makes it less original. By the way, what flavor is this? It seems familiar."
"It's pie flavor," I said knowing full well how old that joke was now. "Now leave or see me mostly naked. Your choice."
All I saw after saying that was what appeared to be a giant cloud and blur of color coming from it that trailed out of the doorway to my room. It was sad how predictable that reaction was. Especially considering the fact that Discord is usually anything but predictable. It didn't really matter to me. I simply got dressed and grabbed a few things to put in my pockets. I did stop when I grabbed the coin from atop the dresser. Upon inspecting it, the coin had gone back to something close to it's original form. One side was blank except for a thin blue ring around the edge. The other side had the same little symbols of the Elements' cutie marks on it fully colored and faceted around the edge as well as Celestia's, Luna's, and a small blue horseshoe inside of those symbols near the center. Basically, it had gone back to the appearance it had after it had gained all of the essences of the Elements of Harmony.
It did give me pause though. Discord had just stated that it had been absorbing magic from the Everfree Forest. He hadn't said that it regained any of it's magic from the Elements of Harmony. Would that still make the coin incomplete then? Also, how much magic could it store? I mean I never figured out anything much about the coin other than it was capable of storing magic, and maybe magic essences, as well as be used as a locator device for the girls. There were probably other things it could do that I might want to try and figure out, but that was for another time. I needed to do a couple of things.
I was pretty sure I needed to let Twilight know about this. After all, she was technically my teacher in magic before that got shot to hell. Well, she was also supposed to be my teacher in friendship studies but I'm not about to bring that up with anyone if I can avoid it. Actually, considering Discord is around this time and he isn't some villain anymore, though at best he's an anti-hero, maybe I could get him to give me some instruction on this magic since it's the same as his own? I suppose if he's still around I can ask him.
Wait. What was the other thing? Dang it, I forgot. Well screw it then. If I couldn't remember then it must've been something frivolous and unnecessary. Therefore, back to getting my day going.
I went and palmed the coin as I exited my room. I couldn't find Discord as I entered the kitchen through the living room. He must either be in his room or still making tracks towards somewhere since I didn't see him in the bathroom as I passed by. It was kind of annoying since I wanted to discuss this magic with him. Bah! Food first and then track him down if I feel like it.
Of course, the first thing I did with my newly returned magic was use it to conjure up a bottle of Pepsi. Phenomenal cosmic powers; self control of a two year old. After guzzling down a part of the contents, I set it down on the table and thought about what I wanted to do concerning breakfast.
This was cut short when there came a knock at the front door. I leaned back a ways to see that it was Twilight at the front door. That was excellent timing. Time for a show. Easing back into the way to use magic was the same as anything else. You might feel a bit rusty, but you still know what you're doing. As such, it took a few moments for me to reach out and turn the knob on the door with magic to open it for Twilight.
"Hey there Princess. Come on in!"
"You don't have to call me Princess you know," she said as she walked inside.
Not the reaction I expected. She must not have seen what I did.
"Back where I'm from, Princess is used as a moniker. It doesn't mean that they're actually a princess. It's just more factual in your case."
"Oh...kay?"
"Don't worry about it. Check this out instead!"
I didn't use any magic, but I held out my left hand with the tattoo towards her and concentrated enough that I made my whole hand glow.
"You have magic again!" she exclaimed as her eyes lit up.
"You are correct madam!"
"How did it happen?"
"Well, apparently my coin started storing magic when I came back here, but since I'm normally non-magic compatible it just stayed there. Discord realized this and gave me a spark of magic yesterday and I got it all back."
"Wait, wouldn't the coin have given you it's magic when you received this spark from Discord?"
"I think it had to assimilate into my body first. Then it could do it. At least I think that's what happened with the way Discord told me."
"But that doesn't make any sense."
"Since when does chaos make any sense? To quote Discord himself, 'what fun is there in making sense'?"
"But things are supposed to make sense!"
"And it I had a nickel for every time I heard that I'd be rolling in cents!" I half-yelled followed by chuckling heartily.
"That doesn't make any sense either!"
"Darn, stupid, monetary system differences," I mumbled after losing my funny feelings.
"I think we should run some tests this time."
"Hey! Let's do a rundown of stuff I used to be able to do. Levitation."
I used my magic and picked up the couch. I brought it up to eye level before I set it back down gently.
"Looks good. Invisibility."
I brought forth that feeling of fading away from view and looked down to see that nothing was visible there. I then returned to normal.
"Checkaroonie. Illusions."
I waved my hand and a unicorn, pegasus, and earth pony version of Twilight appeared throughout the room.
"Check times three," they all said and disappeared.
"Very funny Seth," Twilight glowered.
"Yeah, well I still need to test out a couple of other things, but I'd need more safety precautions first. Though, there is one more thing I can try out here."
I thrust out my palm and a sliver of a shield formed in front of me.
"Check and check. That's actually better than I used to be able to do. Alright, now to track down that scaredy-cat Discord so we can chat more about the nature of manipulating chaos."
"Actually, I'd like to hear about that too," Twilight stated enthusiastically.
"Well, that's just too bad."
We were both confused for a moment before the chair morphed into the appearance of Discord.
"I thought you ran off," I said conspiratorially.
"I simply had somewhere else I needed to be."
I couldn't help but laugh hard at that.
"That's a load and we both know it. Still, I did want to ask you about working with this magic since it's your brand."
"Some other time perhaps," he said while floating towards the hallway. "I really do have somewhere I need to be. And for the record," he said while his body vanished except for his eyes and mouth a la the Cheshire Cat, "it's not exactly Wonderland where I'm headed," he said while vanishing completely with some fading chuckles.
"Well that happened," I stately dumbly. "Anyway, we should head up into town so you can send a letter to Celestia about this development. I think she would like to be kept in the loop."
"That's a good idea," she said while charging her horn.
With that, the two of us teleported off to the library.
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
Lots of Kinks to Work Out
If you've never had magic then I really ought to describe it more. First off, it's awesome. Well, my brand is for sure. You can do all kinds of things with it. It's like the warmth that a good blanket or a tender embrace gives you. The feeling is wonderful. Just like those things, when you haven't had either of them in a long time, then the feeling you have when you get to experience them again is downright joyful.
That's the kind of feeling I had while I was exhibiting my magic inside of Twilight's place. I'd been there for about a couple of hours just doing random feats with my recently revitalized magic power. Sure, it seemed like a bit of a show-offy gesture, but I had just gotten it back and I was feeling frisky about it. Then again, Twilight had asked for it. Literally.
It goes like this; the two of us teleported straight over to the library. The first thing that she did was get Spike. She transcribed the fact that I had regained my magic and wanted to get some advice from Celestia about how to handle the situation. I didn't think that anything really needed to be handled, but whatever. The interesting part was how Spike commented on how he was glad that I got my magic back. It turns out that while I hadn't remembered to retrieve his memory, Twilight had actually managed to do it on her own this morning without me. Of course, Spike then asked if I would conjure him some more gemstones. I'm not a jerk and I like the little guy so I went ahead and gave him a pile of random gems on the floor for him to eat. He paused before digging in to listen to Twilight tell him to deliver the message to the princesses, but after that he attacked those gems like he was famished.
Twilight's message sent, the mare then proceeded to take me down into the basement, or perhaps dungeon might work, and began trying to run tests on me to see what was making my magic tick. Why she didn't do this back during the last time I was there I couldn't tell you. Still, she had me hooked up to some cliche machines that measured something about me. I honestly didn't hear what she was saying. I was too giddy about having my magic again to notice. Instead, I was letting my imagination run wild. I never really, truly understood why they said power corrupts until I actually had it. I went pretty crazy in my head with it. I'm talking golden castle with scantily clad maids serving me with anything I desire, and with this type of magic it was very much possible. It must have shown on my face because in the middle of my little daydream I was interrupted by Twilight giving me a hearty shake. A light scolding was given and we started out the tests.
I basically just started using the spells that I had already used back at the house. Some levitation, invisibility, illusions, and some random conversions with the snap of my fingers were the basics of these tests, but they were pushed to my limits. It was rather interesting to see some of said limits that I had for my restored powers. For instance, the weight limit of my levitation was 3,500 pounds. Knowing I could lift that much was pretty cool.
According to Twilight, my invisibility could spread out over a surface area of 160 meters squared. I couldn't convert that in my head and Twilight moved on before I could ask her. She also figured if I could set my sights on a more tangible goal then the area might actually be more expansive.
After quite a bit of testing neither of us could find a limit on my ability to create illusions. I managed to make a multitude of jungle sounds while simultaneously singing 'Welcome to the Jungle' in perfect pitch and displaying an image of a jungle in every direction to block out the view of the basement. We both agreed that if I could think about it then I could project it.
Conversions using magic really had no tangible conclusions to it. Apparently, whenever I snapped my fingers to manipulate the environment around me the only thing her machines could tell was that magic was being used. It wasn't even sure what the source of it was. That confounded her for quite a bit.
We didn't end up testing out my shield other than to manipulate it's form. I managed to create the shield in many different forms and also figured out how to make it a one way shield as well. Stuff couldn't go in, but it could get out. Pretty nifty if I do say so myself. After that, we agreed that we shouldn't test out energy beams, although I did managed to coalesce the energy into my hands freely enough.
When we were done, the two of us went back upstairs where Spike was waiting for us. He informed us that Celestia had gotten our message, but was in the middle of day court and couldn't give an observation on this development. For some reason, Twilight had a thirty second freakout over this until she realized that she was also a princess and should learn to have better self control. Control of what in that situation, I do not know. That was when Spike mentioned that Luna was not busy and would arrive instead at her earliest convenience.
That was about an hour ago. In the meantime, I was entertaining myself by creating and dispelling random objects. Twilight suggested it originally to see if we, being me, had some kind of limit to how much power I had at my disposal. I just took it as a chance to goof off for a while.
"You know Twilight, there are very few books in this library that I'm capable of reading," I said as I levitated a row of books in front of me.
"I could teach you how to read them all."
"Between the books that look like chicken scratch and the ones that have symbols where I believe letters and words should go, I really don't know just how long that would end up taking."
I sent the row of books back to where they belonged with a gesture of my hand.
"Any changes yet?"
"None that I can tell Twilight. I know I'm supposed to run out of magic at some point, but it doesn't feel like it at all right now. I feel pretty good."
"That's the chaos at work my dear boy."
I looked off to one of the shelves as a book came flying of of the shelf. As it went flat and opened up, a pop-up version of Discord sprang out of it. Of course, it was also comically over-sized for the book it popped out of. It was also gaudily drawn and barely recognizable as Discord.
"You look even more ridiculous than usual dude."
"Says the walking descendant of apes," he countered dryly.
"You sound kind of grumpy. Something up?"
"Oh, nothing in particular," he said while turning back to normal with a flash. "I just usually am like this after my special trips."
"Special trips?" Twilight and I both asked.
"Nothing you two need to concern yourselves with. Now!" he exclaimed while rubbing his... appendages I guess, together. "I can give you a basis on the magic you have. I gave it to you to begin with after all."
"That's good-"
"It is, isn't it?" he interrupted. He then started floating in the air; trailing a lazy circle around the table in the middle of the room. "Let's see. I know that you have the same capacity as before if what I could sense was true. The coin generally will give you it's magic automatically when you don't have a full supply though you can draw it out yourself faster if you wish to. It usually flows at a small pour unless your life is at risk. It will also stop doing so when it's reserves are at five percent or lower. Judging from the fact that you had almost no power, the coin holds about three times as much magic as you do," he said while then punching numbers into an adding machine while wearing some goofy looking thick glasses and a visor. Oh boy. "If you carry the seven, then you have about two more hours remaining if you constantly are using it, barring any acts of chaos that would charge you both while it was happening. The two of you starting at maximum capacity can produce power for just over seven hours continuously."
I think we both stared in shock for a bit.
"I think that might be the first time I've heard him explain something where it didn't sound like he was gloating," I said.
"Oh? What about this morning?"
"That was a mastermind gloat and you know it," I stated bluntly.
"Yes, I do love a good ramble. This wasn't any different you know. I gave you these tools so why shouldn't I tell you how they work?"
"Because you always act this way all the time ," Twilight said.
"Tis normally what we expect of thee," a new voice chimed in.
We turned to see Princess Luna standing in the doorway to the library.
"Princess Luna!" Twilight exclaimed followed by quickly bowing to her.
"There is no need for you to bow Twilight Sparkle. After all, we are of the same station."
I followed that by teleporting over to Luna's side and gave her a big hug.
"Hi Luna! How are you?" I asked cheerfully.
"We do suppose that this might be too friendly on the opposing side of the issue."
Discord started laughing heartily.
"Aww, come on Luna," I whined a little.
"Personal space please," she said with more authority in her voice.
"You're not being any fun right now," I pouted as I released her from my grip.
"That's what I keep telling everypony," Discord chimed in.
"Seth, we didn't perform any tests involving your ability to teleport."
"How would we? I'd teleport right out of your machines."
"Not if you took them with you," she replied like that was the most obvious thing in the world.
"I'm not really sure where I should start picking apart that argument. Nah, I think I'll just leave it alone."
"Agreed," said Luna. "Tis a discussion for another time. We came to discuss the situation at hand. That being the restoration of magic to Seth."
"I don't really see a point to that. I just thought it would be prudent to let you know about the fact. Everyone seems to think that me getting magic might be some foreshadowing of the apocalypse."
"We are merely concerned since it was part of the vision that thou had while we were visiting upon your dreams."
"What? What dream?" I asked.
"Dost thou not remember?"
"One, I'm terrible at remembering things sometimes and two, I can almost never remember any dreams I've had except those which come true later and I only remember those when it happens."
"It appears that you have no recollection of the dream in which I visited. A shame since it is quite relevant to this situation. However, since thou hast no memory of the situation, a fact that does amuse us greatly considering the past several days, we feel that until there are more facts presented to us this will be looked into more carefully until we can garner a more complete understanding."
"Um, sure?" I said not completely understanding what was going on.
"I swear, you humans can be so oblivious sometimes," Discord chimed in.
Ignoring my shout of indignation, Discord then proceeded to float over to Luna's side opposite of me.
"Still, there is one more thing I should mention to you to help you with your new magic. The tattoo on your hand should begin to fade when you're about to run out of magic. Just a helpful little tidbit from yours truly."
"Terrific. Any other little notes you want to give me on what's going on?"
"Well," he said while rubbing his chin in thought, "I don't have any proof of it, but I believe that the coin might actually be intuitive of your thoughts. It's just a hunch I have considering the fact that you never go anywhere without it."
"But it's a coin," I stated oh so eloquently.
"And that is the kind of attitude that makes using chaos so much more difficult. With enough magic and the right mindset, anything is possible."
"Is that how you're capable of the feats accomplished by your magic?" asked Twilight.
"That's certainly a part of it," he stated while creating a black top hat. "A true magician never reveals their secrets my dear."
He punctuated this by reaching into the hat and pulling out-
Me? What the hell? My world view was weirded out by suddenly finding myself peering out of the hat he produced. I even looked out at where I was and was slightly mortified at the sight of myself headlessly standing in place. I didn't have enough time to see if I could still move my body before I was back in place. I patted myself around my neck for a bit to check if everything was where it was supposed to be. I honestly wanted to say something cocky back to him, but I just couldn't come up with anything.
"Okay," I started with, "that was definitely a way to validate your point," I said while fishing out my coin from my pocket. "Still, I'm not sure how intuitive the coin might be. I mean, if it really was as intuitive as you say it is then wouldn't it be a hot young woman or something?" I asked jokingly.
Then, like it was waiting for me to say something to that extent, the coin suddenly started to glow intensely and began to expand.
"Oh crap."
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
As the coin left my hand and started floating in the air, I started to freak out a little.
"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!" I started yelling while waving my hands in the air. "Stop right now!"
As soon as I shouted this, the coin stopped expanding and it's glow died down to a low intensity. It still remain in the air and had grown into a lumpy sphere a half foot around. Heh, I smiled considering that basically I thought of it as a magical girl transformation and had stopped it midway. Enough of that though. While it may be a cool novelty at first, I knew that having a semi-sentient woman following me around in whatever she may or may not have been wearing would have brought me nothing but trouble. I'm not an idiot after all.
Well, I kind of am, but I'm at least not mind-numbingly so.
"In all honesty, I'd rather you be a coin so I can keep you with me at all times," I followed up with.
The coin started to glow more intensely again and it quickly shrank back down into it's normal form once more. The glow then stopped and it floated back into my hand. When it landed, I felt a warm pulse from the coin, but it quickly went away. I looked back to Discord.
"You win this round Discord," I said with a voice that swore that I would win the next one.
"Silly boy. I win every round."
"Says the guy that was frozen in stone twice," I said while gesturing as such.
"Who says I didn't win in the long run?"
"Uhh... I'll have to get back to you on that one."
"Thou hast created quite the magical artifact Discord. An item that stores chaos as magic and responds to it's owners desires. Clearly you have given him a powerful object. And as such, you have given a child a toy that he cannot comprehend."
I wanted to be indignant about that remark, but I was too busy watching Twilight stare at the coin intently. I feel like I should make a crude joke about her and the coin and several sexual innuendos, but I think only Discord would get them without going into detail. Plus, even I had my limits considering what almost happened with it. Doing so might just solidify their thoughts on how they expect me to be behave in their minds.
"And why is it that you seem to make everything around you into some sort of provocative imagery?" Luna asked.
Well, so much for not being labeled as such.
"It just seems like it. I'm not doing it on purpose," I defended myself with.
"Yet, the things you don't seem to do on purpose seem to be going down a single path. It is hard not to form an opinion when the evidence trends in a lone direction."
"Maybe he just wants to be a woman," Discord said with a large display of mirth.
At that point, my fat ass actually dove behind Luna hoping to evade whatever he planned to do to me.
"As if that would help you at all," I heard him say.
"So what if-" I started, but quickly stopped.
The reason being that my voice had pitched up quite a bit. I looked down and, to my horror, Discord had turned me into a woman. That feeling that nothing needed to be arranged downstairs was a quick indicator of the fact. I then let out an understandably girlish scream. It was the most unmanly scream of my whole life. Under the circumstances, I'm just glad I had an excuse for it.
"Discord you asshole! What the fuck man!? I thought we were cool!"
"This was quite necessary," he said while casually looking over his paw. "You were getting too full of yourself. You're not unbeatable after all. You can still have bad things happen to you."
"Discord, if you don't switch me back right now I will be walking with a limp for the rest of my life because I will have broken my foot off in your ass!" I yelled with an increasingly angry tone.
"You've been a woman for a whole minute and I see you've already gotten the hang of female wrath," he said with a chuckle.
I lit up both of my hands to show that I meant business.
"Oh you're no fun," he said with a snap.
I checked around to make sure everything was back in place.
"You just genderbent me. I appreciate a good joke, but not so much when it's on me."
"All that means to me is you can dish it out, but you can't take it."
I was about to rise to his baiting, but I felt a hoof on my shoulder. I looked down a bit to see Luna give me a piercing gaze. I wanted to be petty and just give him a taste of his own medicine. The problem was that I was trying to build a friendly rapport with Luna. Sure I couldn't really remember most of what happened in the dreams she was in, but I could remember the feeling of diminished awkwardness between the two of us and I didn't want to have that go away just because I wanted petty revenge on Discord for something that wasn't permanent and only slightly embarrassing. I closed my eyes, took in a deep breath, and I let it out slowly.
And the calming effect it was starting to give me was quickly broken when Rainbow Dash came flying through the window.
"What's going on? I heard screaming!"
I was so glad I turned back into a guy before she came in. I would never have heard an end to the teasing. Meanwhile, Dash had locked onto Discord.
"I bet you're behind this!"
"Well, I can hardly deny it," he said haughtily.
"That's it! You're mine!" she yelled as she charged through the air at him.
Her flight stopped almost as soon as it began. Twilight had clamped down on her tail with her magic to prevent her from going after Discord. After struggling a bit, she looked back and noticed her tail.
"What the hay Twilight?"
"Calm down Rainbow Dash. Everything's fine."
"Tis true Rainbow Dash."
Dash looked over to Luna and her demeanor changed instantly.
"Princess Luna!" she exclaimed followed by diving to the floor and bowing.
"You ever wish that they didn't do that?" I whispered to Luna.
"Sometimes. Tis a tradition to bow to royalty. Though, I do wish my friends would stay that courtesy," she said a bit wistfully.
"And that, my pretty pony princess, is why you got a hug from me instead."
I saw her smile slightly and blush. Wait, blush? No. I'm not going to do anything but pretend that all I saw was the smile.
"So... I guess I can do anything with the coin now. Maybe it can give me an indicator of it's charge?"
There was a soft glow and the blue rim on the edge lit up. I then disappeared in a clockwise manner until it was at the eight o'clock position.
"I officially love this coin," I stated happily.
"Are you just blissfully ignorant?" Discord asked me.
"Oh please. My life is a walking 'what's the worst that could happen?' At this point I just try to minimize the fallout to varying degrees of success. For example," I stated and held my coin up in the air, "I just called this coin awesome! I hope nothing happens because of that!"
"You realize that Murphy's Law is more fundamental here right?"
"The only Murphy I like is the one from Robocop. Besides, getting this coin was going to have some kind of backlash anyway. It's actually common sense to me."
"That's a pretty negative mindset to have," Twilight informed me.
"That's my life on Earth in a nutshell. Not everybody can be awesome like Rainbow Dash here."
"Yeah, I can see that," said mare added with a very non-modest tone of voice.
"You really shouldn't think like that," said Twilight. "It's not healthy to have that kind of attitude."
"Meh. That's why I came back here. It's not the same as Earth, but it feels like it could be better and that's what I'm hoping for."
"Did thou forget? You are only here for a short reprieve until Discord recovers enough power to send you home. Though, from his display here we do wonder if his power hath not recovered enough already."
"Oh these antics are mundane at best. Staying near the Everfree Forest is definitely making things progress more smoothly," he said and then proceeded to do one of those arm flexes that made his arm look ridiculously huge. "It has done wonders for me. I bet I'll be ready to go a week ahead of schedule at this rate."
"And, I'm grossed out."
I snapped my fingers and a burlap sack flew over him followed by a series of chains crisscrossing around it and getting locked by a padlock chain. Then the whole thing vanished into thin air.
"What just happened?" Rainbow Dash asked.
"I tied him up and teleported him back behind the house we're staying at.," I answered. "I'm pretty sure that we've reached that point where we just need a few minutes apart."
"I think he just did that because he felt that he was getting pushed out by Discord," Twilight said. "Like he wasn't feeling welcome anymore."
"Look," I began, "if you all are going to end up making me go home then I feel like having some fun while I'm here. Let's start with this."
I snapped my fingers and teleported everyone outside the library.
"And this."
I snapped my fingers up in the air. After a few seconds, tufts of white started to fall down to the ground.
"You're making it snow?" asked Rainbow Dash.
"Go ahead and catch some on you're tongue."
She gave me a skeptical look, but she did as I asked. When she caught one, she blinked in surprise.
"Ice cream?"
"Hey, Discord got chocolate milk rain so I get a dusting of vanilla ice cream. Just enough to get the little fillies excited."
"Woohooooo!!!"
We all watched as we saw Pinkie Pie dash through the area with a few bowls collecting all the ice cream she could catch.
"And Pinkie Pie too I see," I added with a smirk.
I looked down to my coin to see if anything had changed with it. The rim lit up to show me the charge level on it. The glow still went from the top at the twelve o'clock position and down the left side to the eight o'clock position. It didn't look like it had changed any with what I was doing. Well, that means it caused very little chaos, it broke even, or they actually liked my little stunt enough that they really didn't mind.
"Seth, please put the weather back to normal," Twilight asked of me.
"Sure, I can do that."
I snapped my fingers again and the sky cleared up. Shortly thereafter, the vanilla snow stopped as well.
"Okay, so I've got chaos powers and a kick ass coin. I don't have a desire to ruin everyone's day with said powers. I do have a desire to show off newly acquired said powers. Now, I just need to find something to do that can combine all of those factors together without causing bad things to happen."
"You need to treat your powers with the respect they deserve."
"I do respect them. I can also abuse them like crazy. I'm not going to, but I can. I just need to figure out what to do with them."
"You should be using them to help others!" Twilight yelled in aggravation.
"I just did that with the ice cream," I replied flatly
"Indeed he did! Wasn't it just wonderful?"
One of the small snowbanks melted and the puddle it formed rose up to take the shape of Discord.
"See? That's one. I bet Pinkie loved it too."
"Yepperooni I did!"
I jumped slightly as Pinkie Pie flew out of my ear to say that.
"Holy crap, that felt weird."
"Oh yeah?" she countered. "You didn't have to plow through all of that wax!"
I watched as she shook herself off and suddenly bunches of wax flew away from her body. It was incredibly strange, but it became kind of funny when giant globs hit everyone except me in the face enough to get covered. When they opened their eyes through the gunk, I pretty much busted a gut laughing.
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
Well, My Dad Was a Farmer
I don't think I've mentioned it, but my dad was raised on a farm. He's told me how he got up at 4 a.m. to work in the fields and tend to the horses in addition to going to class when he was a kid. He never did go into specifics, but it was something he talked about occasionally and usually whenever I was told that I ought to have a better work ethic. My dad never was around much while I grew up. Well, it was kind of up and down since he had to work for us and take responsibility for his time in the military. I never once felt like he didn't care about us. I just understand that since he wasn't around much, I didn't really build the work ethic that he had upon myself amongst other things.
Why am I talking about this? Because while I am very aware that work can suck, I realized working on a farm when you aren't really happy about it sucks even more. But, that's something I haven't gotten to yet.
You see, when ponies get scared of something that they don't understand they seem to wait until they get to a suitable crowd size and then they're ready to come and ask Twilight what just happened. She went and gave the cliff notes version of what happened. Honestly, I think there were a few points she could have expanded on since I don't think some of the ponies really understood what had happened. That being said, they didn't question her one bit. She had their trust both from past experiences and the fact that she was now a princess. It probably helped out that Princess Luna was there too.
With the explanation given, the crowd dispersed in no time at all. A few ponies did stick around; namely, Twilight's friends. They were more interested in what specifically was going on than the rest of the townsfolk. For them, several more details were given up by all of us. Interesting side note, Discord whispered to me during one of Twilight's parts and told me that we were going off to do some talking in the Everfree Forest with just the two of us and not to tell any of them about it. I was going to be hesitant about it, but his tone of voice was much different than I was used to. None of the playfulness or the mirth was there. It was just the serious nature that I had only heard once back during our duel. It was enough to make me just shut up and nod.
Well, after everyone was filled in, of course the first thing out of any of them was Pinkie Pie's cry of party. The theme was 'We're Glad You Got You're Magic Back and Thanks For Saving Us Last Year Because None of Us Said Thank You for That Yet'. How that second part got in, I still don't know. None of us brought it up and I was pretty sure I got thanked for it at some point. I did make sure to tell her to make this one a private party since I still preferred that type of party over the mass gatherings she put on.
From there, the next part was Applejack telling me that I still hadn't shown up on her farm yet. She was merely bringing up the fact that I still had said that I would work on her farm for a week in exchange for what had happened the year prior. She said that not being on the same planet was a suitable excuse for not doing it before, but now that I was back, that bill had come due. While I really hated doing it, I had promised to do so. I'd rather break myself than break a promise.
So, wanting to get that done as fast as I could, I grabbed Applejack and went down on the farm so to speak. Or at least I tried to. I completely forgot about the fact that while I did have magic again, I still didn't have any of the abilities that I had before when I last had them. As such, when I went to pick up Applejack with my old super strength, I found myself without said super strength and I proceeded to pull myself down instead of pulling her up. This ended up with me going face first into the ground and Applejack barely having moved at all.
After some chuckles and some flat out insults of my intelligence from Discord, I thought about how to resolve the problem. It was handled quickly enough as Discord reactivated the spells he had used on me before. This time, however, the spells were tied to my magic and had a small drain to them. I'm not entirely sure what he did, but somehow I knew how to use those spells myself after he did them. I just rolled with it since it was very helpful in case I ran out of magic and had to recast them myself. Heh, I could cast actual spells now. I am Mr. Wizard!
Yeah, they thought that was about as funny as you probably did.
With my spells flipped back to the on position, I placed my hand on Applejack's back and we teleported over to Sweet Apple Acres. Since it was just past midday, to which I was told what the actual fucking time it was and couldn't believe it, there was less work for me to do. All she really ended up having me do for the next few hours was some repair work here and there. What really upset me was how I wasn't allowed to use magic. Shiny new powers and they were all on ice for the duration of my stay there. I obeyed as far as doing my job with them, but I still conjured up a Gatorade twice during my little session. Me and my adherence to my promises. That's why I try and word them like a lawyer would. If I thought I could get away with using my powers to do my work, then I would. I just said I'd listen to her and do the chores how she wanted, and that's how I'm stuck in Boringsville.
"You know," I asked no one in particular, "why do I not get to use my super cool powers to fix up stuff?"
"Because Discord's magic can wear off and then they would still have to repair it."
I looked off of the barn roof to see Twilight standing there, staring up at me. I couldn't see the expression on her face, but it hardly mattered to me right then. I knew how I wanted to respond.
"If I snapped my fingers and fixed it all up then yes I know it would wear off. I'm talking about levitating things and hammering things and, well, other stuff, things."
"That does sound like it would make things easier," she said teasingly.
"Yeah, yeah. Anyways, what happened with Luna? I left in a hurry and totally forgot to tell her goodbye before I left."
"She was going to come after you, but she realized that she had no reason to since she had ascertained the extent of your new found magic. Instead, she headed back to the castle to let Princess Celestia know about what happened as well. However, she did say that despite the report she expected Princess Celestia to make an appearance after the sun set today."
"How long until that happens anyway? Other than my watch telling me how much time has passed," I said and looked at my watch. "Which, by the way, I've been here for about three and a half hours, I only have a general time of day that I got from Applejack that lets me know that it's somewhere near four o'clock or so."
As I said that, I realized something that made me miss her reply. I had been out in the sun for a huge heap of time today. Despite that, I had also realized that I wasn't burned from the sun exposure. I remembered that I hadn't been burned last time because of the fun magic spell protection that Discord had given me. Those same spells were now active once again.
"I'm not turning into a lobster!" I shouted suddenly; throwing my hands into the air. "Magic for the win!"
"You were worried you were going to turn into a lobster?" Twilight asked me with confusion written clearly on her face.
The reason I could see her face was because she had managed to fly up in the air to about my level a bit away from the side of the barn. She wasn't exactly stable in the air, but it was going enough that she could stay in one place. Seeing her like that made me think about how she was capable of flying off like that in the season three finale and yet now she was having trouble keeping aloft. Then again, I had heard that it was easier to keep going through the air than it was to hover. I read that on a forum post. Hooray for magical memory recall! It may come and go, but it's still pretty cool.
"Twilight, you don't need to fly up here to talk to me."
"Maybe," she said and then sputtered in the air. "but this is giving me some practice at the same time," she continued while trying to right herself.
I rolled my eyes and held out my hand to magically hold Twilight in the air.
"You can't talk and fly at the same time. If you still need practice in order to fly properly then that should be pretty self evident."
I lowered her back to the ground before grabbing the toolbox and teleporting myself to her side.
"Besides, I'd rather you not get hurt because of me. If that happens, no one will be happy about it."
She grinned sheepishly before continuing.
"So, you said you were worried about turning into a lobster? How would that happen? Is it because of the chaos magic?"
"No, no, Twilight, it's an expression. You remember what happened the other day when I got too much sun right?"
She nodded.
"Well, I was just pink right then, but if that continued my skin would have turned into a deep red hue which is what the color of a cooked lobster is."
"I... see."
She was looking down a bit after I had said that. I was pretty sure that she was thinking about humans cooking up lobsters. Hell, I know about how it's done so I didn't really want her to think about it at all. Keep talking stupid!
"If I kept getting sun after that, pretty soon I would have blisters showing up on my skin. Those are not fun. After that, well, I'm not sure if sun exposure would do more than that, but I think some kind of scarring would occur. Trust me when I say that anything from blisters onward would be an incredibly painful experience."
"Ah can understand that," I heard someone else say.
I looked to the side to see Applejack trotting up. She was carrying a couple of glasses full of some liquid and ice as well a pitcher with the same liquid and some ice in it on some platter. I wasn't quite sure what it was, but I didn't really care at the moment.
"Is the work up on the roof done yet partner?"
"I just finished before Twilight got here."
"Yeah, I saw her comin' and decided to get her somethin' tah drink."
"Well, thank you Applejack," she said levitating the glass towards her.
"Yeah, thanks Applejack," I said reaching for the other.
"The other one's fer me," she said setting the platter down.
Yeah, that was a bit confusing.
"Um, not that I'm going to complain about this, but why do I not get one?"
"You seemed tah have plenty already when you were makin' yer own drinks out there."
"I get thirsty a lot. It's from the diabetes. But, I don't really care I guess. It's more of an annoyance than anything else. Plus, it's easily remedied thanks to my new-found magic."
I snapped my fingers and another bottle of Gatorade appeared in my other hand.
"Yeah, ah see that. There was also the fact that repair work seems tah be the only thing ah can have yah do. Yah couldn't plow the fields."
"That plow wasn't made for me and you wouldn't let me push it with magic."
"You couldn't feed the hogs."
"The ground was so muddy that my shoes were getting stuck so I couldn't even walk over to them and again you wouldn't let me use magic."
"You couldn't help Granny Smith tah go to town."
"I still say that was a trap and I'd like to go on record that she bit me ! If you weren't right there I'm pretty sure that I would have used magic immediately!"
"That was yer fault fer bein' rough with her."
"Bu-, sh-, se-, git-, ni-, yaggg!!!"
"Ya see the problem here partner?"
"That without magic I suck at life? I'm pretty sure I learned that lesson a long time ago!" I said angrily.
"That ain't the lesson at all!"
"I am not my dad or you! I'm not a farmer and I am not any good at menial labor! Hell, I'm not good at jack fucking shit! I am terrible at everything I do and the only thing I now have going for me is this cool new magic and you won't even let me use it!"
"I reckon yer done fer today," Applejack said in a low tone.
"Thank you Applejack!" I yelled and teleported out of there.
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
I teleported myself back into my house into the living room and sat down on the couch. I was really steamed and the worst part was that I really had no idea why. Oh wait. I'm pretty sure I'm getting upset about not being able to use magic freely. This was stupid. Applejack didn't deserve the outburst I doled out on her. Fuck, I'm turning into Gollum over this magic power. Pretty soon, I'm going to use it to animate voices that I start hearing in my head.
When am I going to learn not to act like that? That's the kind of behavior you would expect out of eight year-olds. Getting upset over trivial things is not something I should be doing as an adult. I should really learn how to tackle this kind of issue. And now I'm back in self-depreciation mode. I'm just a fucking revolving door of issues. Other than the magic and the setting what's really changed about me? Not a damn thing. I'm still the same boring little man who does nothing.
I snapped a bottle of Pepsi into existence and drank from it greedily. Then I looked down at myself. Same sleeveless shirt. Same speckled gut. Same Velcro shoes. Same look on life regardless of what is different around me.
"You know what? I'm going to do something that I haven't done in ages," I said to myself.
Feeling the need to do something different, I got up from the couch and went into my room. There, I pulled everything from my pockets and set them down on the dresser. I looked at my little stockpile of items and then re-pocketed my coin since I didn't go anywhere without it now. I stuffed my DS into my left pocket along with the games for it. Then, I grabbed the main focus of this little renewed trip; my camera. I kept that sucker nearly pristine and not a scratch could be seen on it. Well, maybe a scuff but I digress. I loved taking pictures and looking at pictures since I was little, but the taking pictures part got lost in the constant moving from place to place like all my other interests did. This time though, I was going to take some pictures that no person on Earth had ever taken before. That little thought was just enough to get me motivated to start the endeavor.
I filed out of my room after putting the camera around my neck and placing the extra film in my pocket. I then strolled out of the front door and took a look around. I didn't see any ponies around despite the fact that I thought Twilight would have brought Applejack over to work things out. It didn't really matter that much when I saw Applejack next. I still owed her an apology whenever I saw her again.
I walked a bit down the small path in front of me and then turned around. I took the lens cap off of the camera and with a quick focus I snapped a picture of the place. A nice little picture to start things off with. I did have to think about charging the flash if I kept going until late. Still, the batteries were still fresh so it could be tabled until later.
I turned back around while continuing down the path and started walking towards Ponyville. I kept looking around for things to take a picture of, but nothing really stood out to me. The only things I saw most of the way there were trees, houses, mailboxes, and grass. None of those scream picture worthy to me. I suppose if I was feeling rustic then the houses would have been interesting, but I was decidedly not feeling that way.
Eventually I got to the outskirts of town and started seeing ponies. I was about to start taking pictures right there, but I just didn't see anything that stuck out at me. Yeah, I could have just took pictures of any pony I saw, but I kind of thought that might have been rude. Rude like I just was with Applejack. I might forget some of the lessons that I learn, but not in that short of a time frame.
And then that lesson was promptly thrown out the door when I spotted the CMC going through the streets with Scootaloo on her scooter driving the other two around in their little wagon. I don't really know how good of a picture I got, but I took two just in case; both from a distance away. You don't really have the time to think about taking a picture or not when you see something that cute/cool in front of you. You just take the picture and see if they like it later. I went on the assumption that they wouldn't mind having their picture taken, but just in case I decided to ask them later about it.
From there, I just took a look around to see if there was anything that I felt like taking a picture of. I wandered around for an hour and a half trying to do that. I ended up taking a nice picture of Sugar Cube Corner. I saw a nice pond with some ducks in it that I snapped a photo of. The third and final picture I took was one of the tree library.
After I took a picture of the library in all it's leafy glory, I put the cap back on and went over to the entrance. For a second, I was about to knock on the door before entering. Then, I realized something I hadn't thought about. While yes it may be Twilight's home, technically it was still a library. It made me think about if I actually needed to knock. Yeah, it sounds stupid, but it seemed legitimate at the time. In the end, I just did what felt naturally and knocked.
A bit of a wait came and went and no one seemed to answer. Getting bored of this I just opened the door and looked inside. It didn't seem like anyone was there. I did remember that I was going to see Princess Celestia there at some point after sunset so I just decided to teleport inside and wait for her to show up.
Closing the door behind me, I looked around for a place to sit. That large chair she had before was no longer there so I just plopped myself over near the stairs. I took another picture after a few minutes of the interior of the library and then figured I had nothing to do while I waited. Thank goodness that I remembered I had brought my DS with me. I set my camera down, reached into my pocket, pulled out my DS while not spilling the games I had brought as well, and turned it on to begin playing it.
For a while, it was just me training my Serperior and Azelf, but after almost an hour of that I kind of wondered where everyone was. Well, everyone meaning Spike and Twilight. The question was answered at that hour mark when the two of them walked in from outside.
"Hey Spike, hey Twilight," I said and looked back down at my game; having Azelf use Extrasensory.
"Seth!" exclaimed Twilight. "Just where have you been? I thought you said you were going home."
"I did go home," I responded matter-of-factly.
"We went over there and you weren't home!"
"Well, I guess I didn't say I was going to stay home," I said as I kept my eyes on the game. "In my defense, I did think I was going to stay there for a while. Instead, I decided to take a few pictures with my camera here," I said and pointed at the camera to my side.
"That doesn't matter. You need to talk to Applejack about what happened."
"I know. I was frustrated and took it out on her and that was wrong of me. I'm going to apologize when I see her next."
"You should do it now."
"I'm waiting for Celestia here. She's supposed to show up for a chat or something."
"That's not for several hours. You have plenty of time to see Applejack back on her farm and talk to her."
"What's really there to talk about? I was in the wrong and I said I was going to apologize to her later."
Sweet. Azelf leveled up. Let's see... +6 health, +3 attack, +2 defense, +4 special attack, +2 special defense, +3 speed. Nice.
"I still think you ought to talk to her."
"Hey, what's that you've got there?" asked Spike.
"Finally a good question! This, my scaly fellow, is a Nintendo DSi. It has many functions, but the one I use most is the ability to play video games. The one I'm currently playing is Pokemon: White Version. Basically I'm on a journey as a trainer to collect Pokemon and battle against other trainers in friendly combat. Every time I play this now I can't help but think about the possibility of Fluttershy as a trainer. If they were real I have no doubt that she could catch any one of them."
It was then that I noticed two people, er ponies, er, I mean, one pony and one dragon staring at the screens.
"Pretty cool am I right?"
"I've never seen anything quite like this," Twilight said with a hint of interest.
"I bet not," I said being a smart alec. "This was made with the kind of technology that takes years to develop. It's all thanks to science."
"How does it work?" asked Spike oddly enough.
"It works through a combination of circuitry, electricity, programming, and a slew of other things that are more intricate. You would need to delve into a great many different areas of study to understand it all. Suffice it to say I only know the basics and only that way do I know how it works."
"This is so fascinating!" Twilight gasped. "Can I try it?"
"I guess you can. Let me save first."
A quick save later and I let Twilight levitate the DS out of my grasp. She moved it around in the air as she examined it closely. I'll admit that I've put quite a bit of wear and tear into it and it showed. Hell, the amount of times I've dropped it made the bumpers not work almost at all anymore. She saw all of that exterior and took a closer look at the screens.
"So what is it that you do with this then?"
"It's pretty much a device to play games with. You use the directional pad as well as the four face buttons and the select and start buttons. Each of them has a use for the game that is being played."
"Why does it need that many buttons?"
I got a mischievous grin.
"Well, ask the DS and then hit the Y button."
She looked back at the device, spoke her question to it, and managed to depress the Y button. She then read the words and looked back to me.
"I don't understand. Some tree was talking to you and completely ignored my question."
I chuckled quite well at hearing that. Still, I wasn't done. I was lucky I had read that with her or I would've stopped.
"Juniper isn't a tree in this case. It's the name of a person. Also, it doesn't recognize your voice so it thinks you're me."
"Well, I guess that makes sense, but it told me that there was a time and place for everything, but not right then. What is that supposed to mean?"
"I think it means that your question will be answered in time. It can be kind of vague sometimes," I said; lying my ass off in fun.
"So, what am I supposed to do?"
"Well, go ahead and walk around in the grass there," I pointed out.
As she figured out how to move with the directional buttons, I grabbed my camera and took my time to get a good picture of the scene before me. She jumped in surprise as soon as an encounter sprang up.
"Seth! Something happened and this bug showed up!"
I took a look at the screen and noticed that a Heracross had shown up.
"Don't worry. It's a random encounter. Whenever you move around in the grass there is a chance for a wild pokemon to show up. Here, tap this spot with the stylus."
"What's a stylus?"
"Oh right, I was just using my fingernails."
I reached over and pulled the stylus out of the side and held it out until she grabbed it with her telekinesis.
"Now, tap the big button there."
"But that button says fight," she stated full of confusion.
Oh right. Dang, how was I going to explain the nuances of pokemon battling to her? Well, she's been in battles before. The battle for Canterlot in season two is a prime example. I could probably stumble out a way for that to work.
"Basically, Twilight, in the world of Pokemon there exists lots of creatures generally grouped together as pokemon. Each pokemon has abilities and traits that are unique to all others. Sort of like how earth, unicorn, and pegasus ponies are different from each other. In this case there are way more different species. They are usually grouped in types like flying types, water types, steel types, et cetera."
At that point, I noticed that Twilight had grabbed a parchment and quill and had started writing down what I was talking about.
"Pokemon live together alongside humans and they both learn and grow from each other. One of the main ways that this happens is through a system called battling. The people who do this are called trainers. They guide their pokemon in battle against wild pokemon or other trainers. As they do, the pokemon grows stronger and the trainer and pokemon bond together. This leads to better understanding between people and pokemon."
"That's not what it seems like in the game though."
"That's because this is a game adaptation. It takes the battle aspect from that and uses it as the main subject matter. Since there isn't a real person or pokemon it only focuses on that. Just try it out and see if you like it or not."
She kept staring at me warily for a bit. Eventually, she relented and tapped on the screen with the stylus. She kept going and didn't say anything. She just kept levitating the DS and occasionally she would make a face or two. I took this as a good sign and let her absorb the information she was gleaming from my game. I just wished that I had something to do while she worked on that.
Author's Note
Heh, I wonder just how many pokemon references I threw into this chapter.
Anyway, for those who follow this story and not me I should let you know that I'm having a terrible time staying focused on writing this story now that the semester is over and I don't have to go back to work until August. There are just way more distractions here for me to get, well, distracted with. As a result, my once a week on Mondays update schedule has been riddled with shrapnel. I'm not stopping writing. It's just going to be slower now.
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
All hail Twilight Sparkle: Pokemon Master.
Now when I say that I should probably elaborate a bit. It isn't that she went and beat the game again because she did. It isn't because she didn't lose a single battle because she didn't. The reason I say it is because in the three hours she was playing it she ran into four different shinies. Four different shinies. A Combee, a Swadloon, a Togepi, and a Drillbur. I've never gotten more than three shinies in a single game and she managed to get four in a few hours. She just made me feel inadequate as a gamer.
At least I didn't have nothing to do the whole time I was waiting. Several ponies ended up stopping by. Not just Rarity and Applejack, to whom I apologized, but also a few other ponies who I didn't really know. Except for one. Oh my gosh, Derpy is so adorable! I got to hug her and squeeze her and call her Derpalicious! I'm not sure if she liked that last part, but I conjured up a muffin and we all left on a happy note. Sometimes stereotypes are fun.
Spike was busy cleaning the place with a smile on his face. I wasn't sure why and I never did figure it out. I know he doesn't like cleaning that much. Maybe there was supposed to be a reorganizing the shelves day that they didn't end up doing because of my antics? One of life's great mysteries I suppose.
After night fell, it was markedly slower going. The library was still lit up like it had been during the day. Nothing really bothered us at all. I did get one more picture of Twilight when she beat the champion. She was pretty happy about it, but she was also impatient about the ending credits. I forgot to tell her that she could skip them, but I had been pretty bored since I relented my main form of entertainment to her for cultural understanding.
About an hour after the sun went down according to my watch there was a knock on the door of the library.
"Spike! Get the door please!" Twilight yelled while still messing with my game.
Spike wordlessly went over to the door and opened it up to see who it was. To his shock and his alone, Celestia was waiting on the other side of the threshold. How in the world could you be surprised when the pers-, er pony you you were waiting for showed up like they said they would?
"P-Princess Celestia!" he exclaimed with a stutter and dove straight into a bow.
That also managed to snap Twilight back to paying attention to the non-video game world.
"Princess Celestia! You've arrived!" she exclaimed as well while setting down my game.
"Indeed I have. It is good to see you once again under circumstances that are not so dire."
"Ever since she left the capital for Ponyville it feels like most of the face to face interactions between you two have been in some sort of formal or integral manner," I said throwing my two cents in. "I mean it probably isn't like that, but it just looks kind of that way from an outsiders point of view."
"It may feel that way at times, but I assure you that I enjoy the company that Twilight provides no matter the reason."
I think she might have just side stepped the question.
"While spending time with Twilight is a welcome happenstance, the reason I have come is to discuss and evaluate your new found magic Seth."
"Indeed you did. Check it out!"
I snapped my fingers and instantly everything inside the library was tinted red.
"I got you all seeing red. For my next trick."
Another snap of my fingers and the red was replaced with a television mounted to the side of the staircase. For a moment nothing was on it. Then it kicked up the first season intro song to My Little Pony for the three of them to watch. The reactions were quite interesting. Celestia had seen it before due to having a copy of my memories in her head. Despite that she still was watching it with a smile on her face as she seemed to be enjoying it quite thoroughly. Spike just seemed flabbergasted. Twilight seemed, well, I guess she was being analytical about the whole thing. I kind of wished she had made some kind of reaction to it that would have made me laugh. Oh well, Spike's reaction would have to suffice.
When it was finished, Twilight was the first to talk.
"That's what we look like back in your home?"
"Yeah. Everything's more animated there than it is here, but for the record I honestly can't see much of a difference between the two."
"So you are aware, Twilight, he does not notice the differences between the two forms of seeing us than we are able to see."
"Whoa, wait, what? What does that mean?"
"It is only logical," Twilight surprisingly added. "Different species perceive images in different manners. What we look like to you is slightly different to what we see. It's just surprising to me what is missing when I see things from your perspective."
"I feel like there's some giant joke that I'm missing out on."
"It is not a joke in a sense that you are missing out on," Celestia explained. "It is merely something that those who are of equine nature are capable of perceiving that other races are not. It seems that this also applies to your species as well."
"Aaand your telling me this now?"
"It never came up until now. It is not very important," she said with a smirk and a hint of mirth.
I teleported over to her side with my arm around her neck.
"This better not end up an in joke like the whole 'buckshot' thing because I will turn your fur and mane orange," I stated and then pointed towards Twilight. "That includes you too."
"Do not trouble yourself Seth. We will not continue this avenue of teasing. However, you realize that you may have just declared a prank war upon us."
"Oh hell no."
"Too late for that I'm afraid. I've already come up with something suitable for you."
"I take it back?" I asked hopefully.
"Your silly nature merely sealed you into what I was to have you perform. I intend to help you with your crippling stage fright by making you perform at the Royal Canterlot Hall. That is where we hold the Gala since I know your are not certain where that is."
I was stunned. I couldn't believe she did that. I get the heebie jeebies watching other people perform on stage. Not groups, just a single person. Now she wanted me to do that in front of a crowd of ponies?
"Celestia, as Twilight is my witness, I will get you back horribly for this."
"We shall see about that," she said coyly. "Now, say cheese."
I didn't even get to react as a flash went off to my side. I looked over and noticed that she had levitated my camera up and took a picture of us with it. I grabbed it with my magic and brought it over to my hand. I idly wondered if she managed to get us in focus without being able to see through the view port, but I quickly brushed that thought aside and got back to being unhappy about what she had done.
"How could you possibly think that I would be comfortable doing something like that Celestia? You know how I get when I'm in front of large crowds or even medium sized crowds to a lesser extent."
"I do know this. That is why I said it is to help you. You are not going to gloss over this fact and try to avoid it. I can teleport you straight there. I am giving you two days to prepare for this event and I hope to see you perform something we have not seen before."
I kind of went blank right there. I honestly couldn't believe that she was going to do this to me. I really didn't care if it was for my own good or whatever. Instead, I just started walking towards the exit.
"Where are you going?" Twilight asked.
"Home. I need to five step this utter insanity."
I didn't stop to listen as I teleported back to the cabin after remembering that I could and also that I couldn't fit through the stupid door. I teleported straight into my room and just fell onto my bed. I wasn't trying to fall asleep yet. I was just trying to process things. It turned out to be a good idea since Discord just phased through the wall like a ghost.
"Oh goodie! You're home! How did things go?"
"I'm putting on a performance at the Royal Canterlot Hall for a large group of ponies and perhaps others," I said dryly while staring down the length of the bed at him.
"Ooooh. Sounds fancy."
He then lit up in a flash and he was then wearing a black vest with a top hat and a monocle.
"Shall I need to wear my evening attire?" he asked in a very good British accent.
"Well ain't you mister fancy pants? And yes, I'm aware of Mr. Fancy Pants."
"Oh pish posh. Why even try to make a joke when you ruin the punchline ahead of time."
"I'm just trying to keep you fresh. It's not really chaos if you see it coming."
"Speaking of chaos-"
He proceeded to lift me out of the bed with magic and set me down in front of him.
"-I believe it's time to train you to work better with the magic that I've given you."
I wasn't sure what to think about that. Discord's a goofball who could care less about most anything other than having fun.
"Before you get too far into your thoughts, you need to learn how to control your chaos," he said with a little chuckle. "I know how that sounds, but it's true. You understand the core concepts and you learned how to control certain aspects of normal magic through brute forcing your way into it. However, our particular brand of magic requires more finesse, more precision, more power, more goofiness, and so on and so on. You just don't have that down and I feel, in all seriousness so you should know how serious my seriousness is, that you need to be taught how to harness your inner chaos."
"Seriously?" I grinned.
He narrowed his eyes and got in my face. Holy crap, he actually was being serious!
"Chaos can do anything with enough power and precision. Not knowing how to properly channel it can lead to catastrophe. Not just the fun kind either. Understand?"
"Yes, I understand."
Serious Discord is kind of creepy. Thankfully, his normal demeanor returned once I answered him. He backed up and did a speedy backflip in midair ending by turning over and walking along the ceiling.
"Splendid! Now I want you to get a good night's sleep before we get started tomorrow. I'm going to make you a star !"
"Whaa?"
Author's Note
Meh, I don't think I really liked this chapter, but I can't figure out what to add to it. Well, I added the link for the theme song ~~in case no one remembers it~~ for a reference since the intro has been changed twice. So that.
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
Old Dog Learning New Tricks
Sleep went by uneventfully. I'm not sure if I tried talking to Luna or not. After all, it's hard to remember dreams. Sure, I can remember when my prophetic dreams occur, but only while they are occurring. I doubt that happened last night. I don't think anything but normal sleep happened last night.
The morning went by pretty uneventfully as well. No Discord around. No Twilight trying to show up at my door. No anyone bothering me for some reason or another. It was so ordinary that it was actually sending up warning flags in my head. I'm not even sure why. Maybe it was the clothing I was wearing. It was the same style, but Rarity had given this particular outfit her personal touch by making the shirt purple with white trim and her cutie mark displayed right beneath where the tag would be on the back. The pants were at least fine by me. A dark blue color with three red strips coming down from the waist to my ankles. I had, since the laundry incident, created my own socks and underwear because, you know, hygiene. Still, I doubt all of that really made me feel any sense of foreboding like I was getting.
After breakfast, I began to wonder what was up with Discord. More to the point, where was that goof? We were supposed to go train today and he hasn't shown up for it. He didn't even tell me where it was going to take place. Although, I had a sneaking- oh who am I kidding? It was probably going to be in the Everfree Forest. Where the hell else would it be? It's such an obvious move. I wouldn't be surprised if he was waiting for me to find him in there.
I kind of got sidetracked thinking about how Discord seemed to be turning into a cliche. I mean, he was getting more predictable. His jokes seemed to rely on getting cued to instead of just randomness. I swear it seems like he's turning to the Disney side.
I let out a sigh in realization that he was waiting for me and I had to travel through the Everfree Forest to find him. From what I can remember, one out of every three episodes where someone had to go into the Everfree Forest something bad happened. Yeah, I'm not exactly worried about it as much as I sound, but I'm going in there to meet Discord for training. I could put my life savings on the line to bet that something bad will happen to me in there during this little trip.
I ended up only taking my coin with me that time as I went out the front door. Of course, I remembered that morning that I had left my DS with Twilight. No big deal I suppose. As long as she doesn't try to recharge the thing on her own. Oh crap. If the power goes out on it she might think it's broken and being all sciencey she might try to take it apart to try and fix it.
Huh. That sounds like a premise to an episode right there. It totally sounds like it. Ah man, if that's the case then she'll be avoiding me like the plague until she has no other choice but to admit to her mistake. I won't get to see any of the hilarity.
I let out a sigh and conjured a note onto my front door. It let whoever came by know that I was training in the Everfree Forest with Discord and not to come looking for us. I also made sure to leave a P.S. for Twilight letting her know that I wanted my DS back when I returned. You know, in order to move the plot along.
As I was about to head down the road to Fluttershy's place and use the path near there, my attention was drawn to a sign standing next to the cabin. It didn't say anything on it, but it was a caricature of Discord complete with his tail coming from the ground and the rest of body being horizontal on his belly and his claws pointing towards the direction of the Everfree. Well, I was glad he decided to give me directions instead of making me wander aimlessly through the forest. I just hope he isn't trying to get me intentionally lost in there. Not only would it be annoying it just wouldn't work since I could teleport out whenever I felt like it.
I walked to the edge of the forest out back and looked around for other signs. It took mere moments to find the next one. Each sign led me further and further into the forest and each one looked slightly different than the one before. The second one was like the first, but with Discord on his back extended from the ground. The next one was him on one leg while he was doing a half-Superman pose. After that there was one of him holding a hobo's pack on a stick and sticking his thumb out. There was even one with his head on the body of a bull getting ready to charge in the direction he wanted me to head in.
Eventually the signs led me to a clearing in the forest where I stopped at the edge of. I was a little surprised since I didn't really think there were any areas like that in the series. It didn't really matter that much since situated in the middle of the clearing was Discord sitting in a lotus position. That was making me a little nervous because I couldn't tell if he was trying to be serious or not. It took a few moments for me to calm myself before I entered the clearing and walked up to Discord.
"I see you have arrived young grasshopper," he said calmly without opening his eyes.
"Movie quotes already I see. Eh, I like those so it doesn't really bother me."
"This isn't going to be like usual with me," he stated. I could tell from his voice he meant it too. "Chaos magic is the most volatile of all magic and is hard to control. You've done well up until now I surmise, but you need to know how to harness it properly or it could get quite out of hand. I made that mistake and paid for it. Of course, I didn't listen to my teacher and that's the reason for me, but I believe that you aren't as impetuous as I was back then."
"*sigh* I understand that you're trying to do... whatever it is that you're doing that I don't seem to be able to vocalize, so I'm ready to try and get this training underway."
"You are impatient."
"I know. It comes and goes. If I wasn't so intrigued about this training I'd have let my apathy keep me in the cabin to see the result of the comedy that's unfurling out there as we speak."
That got him to open his eyes.
"Oh? What are you talking about?"
"I left my DS with Twilight and I'm willing to bet that the power ran out. She, however, doesn't know that and I bet that she thinks it's broken and will try to fix it. I could easily see that as an episode if you take the parts and edit them together. In the end, she'll probably bring me a mangled mess. Hearing that out loud actually makes me want to learn this more so I can fix it when she brings it to me so I can resolve this in the correct way."
"Well, that does sounds like it would make a good episode for the show. I wonder if it will air?"
"How would I know? Would it even show me around here? How the hell would that even work?"
"You're asking the wrong guy. Now enough of this topic. It's time to get to work."
Discord disappeared and reappeared standing up in a flash.
"First things first. *sigh* The boring lecture."
A snap of his talons and a green chalkboard appeared and Discord was wearing a sweater vest and held a piece of chalk in his right hand- er, paw.
"Now, I'm going to dumb this down for you because while you are sort of smart, you don't have the intelligence required to know all of the terms and parameters of these kinds of high level magic formulas."
"I don't know jack about magic other than it's magic ."
"I know," he said while giggling slightly. "However, you've heard of the terms 'macro probability' and the 'quantum uncertainty principle' before and those are similar in function to what goes on with magic."
I had heard of the terms, but he was right in that I didn't know the specifics on how they worked.
"Let's just go with the easy version," he began while drawing on the chalkboard. "Chaos magic, in it's most simple form, is changing the outcome of an event into an entirely different one."
I'm pretty sure my face right then conveyed my confusion of his statement.
"Let's try something else. If you let go of a coin, you would watch as the coin fell to the ground. However, with chaos you would be tricking the coin into thinking that the ground was upwards. The laws of nature are technically absolute. However, what we do changes those laws to whatever we need them to be. If we need the grass to be purple, we simple change the chemical composition of the grass to a natural state where the grass was always purple. If we need to fly, we change either our own nature or the nature of the air to let us pass through it as if it guided us through it. If we wanted a rubber duck to appear in our hands, we simply change the world around us until you come to a point where it was always there. That my boy is how chaos works in the simplest of senses."
"Would that really be chaos? I mean yeah it is changing the status quo, but it seems like you're just changing it from one norm to another."
"From our point of view that is correct. From an outsider's perspective it is simply chaos."
I couldn't help but think of Chaos Control from Sonic the Hedgehog right then. It just seemed to fit perfectly.
"If you learned magic from Twilight I'm pretty sure she told you about how to use magic. The key concepts of magic are to envision, concentrate, and then create. The difference with chaos and regular magic are that some knowledge about fundamental laws of nature are taken into account for stronger or more intricate spells in regards to normal spells and those laws must be adhered to while chaos rewrites those laws into what we need of them."
"But if that's the case then wouldn't you be able to do either one with normal magic if you generated enough power?"
"Aha, that's the bright boy I see in there at times. It's true enough that with normal magic these changes can be achieved. That is the beauty of chaos! Normal magic has an inherent need to follow the laws of nature and must be forced to overcome its natural state in order to achieve those necessary changes. Chaos magic is inherently intrinsic to nothing. As such, it can interweave and replace normal values with whatever is necessary."
"But how? How are the two any different from each other? You keep telling me that they're different, but it just seems like the two are the same."
"That, my good lad, is something that is merely beyond your current understanding. I simply wanted to give you the most basic of basic understandings before we arrived at the meat of the sandwich."
'Cop out ,' I thought to myself.
With a snap, the vest and the chalkboard, which I hadn't noticed simply had an illustration of Pinkie Pie on it, vanished into thin air.
"And now for the next phase. Trial by combat!"
"The fuck are you talking about?"
Instead of answering me, he snapped his paws and a manticore appeared. You heard me. A manticore appeared. This surprisingly did not register a bit. Instead, I reacted thusly:
"Are you fucking kidding me!? You sent in a manticore, the most cliched monster in all of the fandom, to fight me? I'm not doing this."
I snapped my fingers and the manticore turned into a small, orange kitten. It mewled at me as I glared at Discord.
"Well, that was surprisingly easy."
"Of course it was easy! I was too pissed off in disappointment to be concerned! That's not training. That's an insult!"
"Well excuse me if my instrument of pseudo destruction isn't up to your standards. Perhaps something a little more your speed then."
He snapped his fingers once more and the kitten disappeared. In it's place... was a real life pokemon. Sure, it was a Pidgeot, but damn if that wasn't fucking cool!
"No making it disappear this time. This is training after all."
I let out a chuckle at his training reference using pokemon. My chuckle was short lived as the Pidgeot flew straight like bullet into me and threw me for several feet in reverse straight onto my back. As it circled above me, I heard Discord yell at me.
"I believe there's a word I'm looking for. What could it be? Oh yes..."
"DODGE!!!"
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
Get Me Off This Crazy Train!
You know what? That whole 'DODGE!!!' thing isn't as funny on the other end. You know what else isn't funny? Having a shield up while a FUCKING XENOMORPH stares at you is not funny either!
You know what? Before I get too into this let's just pick back up where we last ended.
"That was not as funny when you're the one getting hit."
"I know," Discord responded with a chuckle. "but it's still plenty hilarious on my end."
I stood up, keeping a wary eye on the Pidgeot flying in the sky above me. As soon as I was on my feet, it broke off of its pattern and dove at me with its wings glowing. I know damn well enough that it's using some kind of move and waited a bit before jumping to the left out of the way. It was still a bit too soon as it adjusted the path it was on and managed to clip me slightly on my arm.
Hello pain my old frenemy. I see you decided to pay me a visit. Despite having some physical reinforcement to my body courtesy of my new found magic, I could still get hurt with enough force applied. The Pidgeot, as much as I could tell, wasn't flying as fast as Rainbow Dash was that one time, so I guessed that it was amplified by whatever move it was using.
"Hey Discord," I asked as I moved up to a kneeling position, "are you using a pokemon from the anime or the manga?"
"What difference does that make? I'm still surprised that you managed to at least partially dodge that Steel Wing attack."
"Well, in the anime it's the same as the game and they can only use four attacks. In the manga they can use any attack that they learned over their lifetime. At least that's how I remember it. I'm not really using my enhanced memory right now."
"Huh, I didn't know that. And I still don't care!" he yelled while throwing his arms up whimsically.
"Asshole," I muttered quietly.
I moved back to my feet once again and the Pidgeot responded by swooping around for another run. Just like last time, it barreled right towards me with it's wings glowing. I tried thinking about something to knock it off course or make it veer away, but nothing came to me as I dove out of the way a little better that time. I still missed the timing a little, but at least that time it only grazed the back of my shirt.
I rose once again to one knee to give the Pidgeot a look. Again it was circling above me waiting for me to get to my feet. I decided to take advantage of the pattern it was giving me to try and think of some kind of tactic. I could try to block it, but anything short of a decent steel wall would get demolished by the Pidgeot's power and I didn't really want to hurt the thing anyway. Well, I might as well go with the most obvious approach.
I snapped my fingers and rose to my feet as my brand new Pikachu stood in front of me. Yeah, I probably could have went with an Electavire or a Luxray or something other than the cliche of Pikachu. Hell, I have a level 84 Raikou I could have imagined into reality. I guess it was just the first electric type I could think of since it was pretty much the mascot of the show.
It did the job of giving the Pidgeot pause for going right in on me. Honestly though, it was half of the plan I had come up with. The first half continued as the Pidgeot finally came in on me again with it's entire body aglow. Sky Attack I think since it wasn't blue.
"Hit it with Thunder," I commanded.
Pikachu obeyed and with a shout of its name fired an enormous yellow charge at the approaching bird. The Pidgeot didn't waver in its path and met the Thunder attack head on. It didn't quite seem like anything was happening for a few moments until an explosion erupted from the point of contention. Nothing happened again for a bit as the cloud of dust spread out from the epicenter. Then, the Pidgeot flew straight up out of the cloud. It looked a bit singed in places, but it looked like it was going to come around for another pass. This time, a trail of light came from behind it and it shot forward faster than ever before.
"Dodge!" I yelled while instantly realizing the irony at what I had done.
The Pikachu dodged left and yet the Pidgeot came straight for me. It came at me so fast that I barely had time to throw the ball in my hand at it. With Pidgeot flying at me so fast it had no time to dodge the Master Ball I chucked at it. The ball impacted on the Pidgeot, it instantly turned red, and was sucked into the ball. It was a formality at that point to watch the ball shake before a small amount of what looked like sparks erupted from the front and a low pitched ping rung out. I walked over and picked up the ball and held it out at arms length.
"Heh, alright. I caught a Pidgeot," I said calmly.
"Pi-Pikachu!" the Pikachu said with a jump in the air. Corny.
"Thanks for the assist. You should get going back home now."
The Pikachu nodded and I snapped my fingers. With a flash, the little critter disappeared. I contemplated keeping the Pidgeot for a bit. I mean seriously, wouldn't you want to have a giant bird that could carry you around and help you fight? Of course, caring for something like that was also a big responsibility and I wasn't sure I could handle that. With a groan, I snapped my fingers and the Master Ball disappeared.
"Congratulations!!!" Discord cheered. The ball cap, foam finger, and pennant flag making him look like a cheering fan. "You've passed the first round of training."
"Great," I responded with a flat tone. "How many rounds are there?"
"Only three today. You passed the easy round. Now it's time for the intermediate round."
Discord snapped his fingers and this time... a person appeared. She honestly looked very confused at her surroundings. Or at least she would if she could see her surroundings.
"What's going on? Where am I?"
"I honestly am not too sure right now," I answered her.
"Well you better be sure or else I'm going to shove a boulder so far up your butt that you'll be eating pebbles for life!"
Oh yeah. That attitude was a definite sign that I was staring at Toph Beifong from Avatar. She looked a little older than from the show though; probably mid teens or so. She was wearing the traditional earth bender uniform minus the shoes. If you don't know why she wasn't wearing shoes then a brief explanation is that she is blind, but can see using earth bending as a form of echolocation. She can be a bit of a hot head, but when she fights she's calm, cool, and waits and listens.
"Well, I think some chaos spirit just sent you here to train me by fighting me. I don't think I like him very much right now."
"Neither do I from what it sounds like. It also sounds like you were expecting something to happen though. That's all I need to hear to go ahead and take out some anger on you."
"What?"
"Don't worry. I won't rough you up too bad."
Toph widened her stance and put her hands palms back about half an arm's length from her face. That was sending bad signals to my brain.
"Look, I really don't want to fight you."
"Why? Is it because I'm a girl? Or maybe it's because I'm blind?" she spat at me.
"You just threatened to shove a boulder up my ass! I wouldn't want to fight anybody that made that kind of threat to me. Blind, girl, elderly, or a freaking monkey! Do I look like the kind of guy who who can beat anybody? Wait, don't... don't answer that. That was a stupid question."
"No kidding."
"Look, can we please not fight? I really don't want to get beat up."
"Quit being a baby!"
With a stomp of her foot, a beach ball-sized rock came out of the ground and levitated in front of her. Then with a fluid motion she sent the boulder straight at me. I threw myself to the right to dodge and brought my gaze back to her. Toph had already brought up another two boulders and sent them right at where I landed. There was no way I could dodge those boulders while I was still prone on the ground. Instead, I acted fast and pushed them off course with my magic. Not by much though since they impacted near me enough to rattle my body from the tremors.
"How did those miss?" she asked with some suspicion evident in her voice. "I didn't feel you do anything to them."
"It's called magic. It's a big thing on this planet," I explained to her.
"Yeah right. It's probably just some kind of bending I haven't heard of before."
"Oh come on!"
She shifted her stance and a flat spire of rock shot out at an angle in front of me. I didn't have any time to dodge so I watched as the spire slammed into my chest and and I was hurled into back into the tree line. I think what surprised me most was that it barely hurt. I mean, I was just impacted by some rocks, hurled almost a hundred feet, and I think I landed on some roots because that didn't feel like just ground that I bounced off of. Oh yeah, the constitution thing. I keep forgetting about that. I really need to stop forgetting that.
I rose to my feet once again and rested my hand against one of the trees for support. I looked at Toph to see if she was getting anything ready for me. I couldn't really tell much, but she didn't seem to be moving.
"What's the matter Creampuff? Still worried about fighting a blind girl?"
"You seem to have some pretty big issues about not being looked down on. I bet you had some real overprotective parents or something."
"What do you know?!" she yelled as she jumped forward.
Again my problem was that I saw her doing something, but was unsure of what. I barbed her with some knowledge that I had of her parents to try and throw her off her game, but that would only serve me once since I'm not a very articulate speaker under pressure. Thankfully, I didn't need to know much about bending to see a whopper coming my way. Her leap forward ended with her sweeping both of her arms forward from the sides. As she did, two large columns of earth burst from the ground and then redirected themselves right at me.
The move was so telegraphed that I actually had enough time to think and teleported away. I ended my teleport right behind her and before she could make any sense of what just happened, I wrapped her up in a bear hug and lifted her off the ground. Needless to say, she wasn't very pleased about it.
"Let me go!"
She struggled against my grip, but with leverage and enhanced strength she wasn't going to break free easily.
"Why don't we call this a draw? I'm willing to hug it out as you can see."
"I can't see, remember?"
"It's a metaphor, damn it. Don't be all literal about it. I don't want to fight you because in general I don't like fighting. I suck at it which is why the dick hiding around here somewhere wants to toughen me up through training by getting me to learn how to use magic better. His preferred method seems to be trial by combat and he wants you to be my current lesson. Is that what you want? To be some jerk's lesson for me?"
She stopped struggling at hearing that and let out a huff.
"Of course I don't!"
I set her back down hearing that. She crossed her arms and let out an indignant humph.
"Fine. You don't seem to be lying to me, but I'm still upset. I wanna know what's going on right now or I'm going to bury you in an avalanche of dirt!" she finished by pointing her finger right in my face.
"I already told you the short version," I said and sighed a bit. "I suppose that's not good enough for you though."
"No. It's not."
"Well, I'm not sure how long you're going to be here but I supp-"
"Oh enough of this already!" Discord's voice cut in. "I brought her here so she could toughen you up and this has been a huge disappointment!"
"And that would be the dickhead who brought you here."
"Yeah? Well he's a dead man!"
Toph instantly moved into a new stance and threw some freshly carved boulders out of the ground straight at Discord. He simply snapped his fingers and turned them into a cloud of bubbles.
"I'm not who you're supposed to be fighting either. Let's just skip straight to the last round."
As Toph moved towards Discord ready to unleash something else, Discord snapped his fingers and instantly Toph disappeared. In the place she was, a horrible creature took her place. It was one of the worst creatures you would ever want to come into contact with. It was a xenomorph. Oh and just for the icing on the cake it wasn't the normal kind either. I'm talking about the one that comes from a human. It wasn't even the one that came from a dog in Alien 3. It was the motherfucking hybrid from Alien vs. Predator: Requiem.
Yeah, I'll admit that I had to magically change my pants if you catch my drift.
As the thing turned towards me, I threw up a magic barrier faster than I ever have before. It didn't stop the xeno from charging me though. As it came running at me, I poured magic into that shield hoping that it couldn't bust through. When it did reach my shield, it bounced right off with quite the thud. Knowing that it couldn't get through, I let out a sigh of relief and wiped some sweat off of my forehead. I looked back at it as it unleashed a mighty roar that I bet would have made that manticore from earlier cower in fear. My shield flickered a bit as my concentration faltered slightly, but my fear of being ripped apart kept it from coming down.
The xeno-predator stopped it's roar and started to pound and claw at my shield. Watching that monstrosity trying to get to me actually made me notice something about the shield I was using. After a few times of trying to get through, I could feel the energy that was compromising the shield. I could notice how it would fluctuate when the xeno hit it and I could feel how much energy was going into and out of it in between. The odd nature of what I was feeling helped to calm me down during the assault. Not a lot, mind you, but enough to try and think rationally about my predicament.
After a couple of minutes of trying, the monster stopped attacking and backed off a few feet. From there, the two of us just stared at each other for a bit. As much as I didn't want to be there, as much as I wanted that... thing to go away and never come across me again, I knew that if anything came across the two of us that it would focus it's attention towards that and it could easily start a streak of horror that could not be stopped without great cost. The issue was how to do it without possible collateral damage.
Well, the usual fallback option for that was to kill it with fire. I decided to test the limits of my shield by doing the only thing I could think of that would kill that bastard for sure. I snapped my fingers and then cranked as much energy as I could into my shield. In retrospect, I was surprised that I didn't hear anything. I think that's a byproduct of having watched too much television. With my dad in the military I should have really known that. Other than having my shield ready and knowing it was coming, I was completely unprepared for the napalm bomb I dropped on us both.
Holy crap! I only partially knew what to expect. Even through my shield I could feel some of the heat that was being thrown off from those flames. My shield was able to protect me from the hot, molten death that spread all over the place. The xenomorph, however, didn't have my protection. It's screams of agony were haunting even to me. It thrashed about trying to get the fire to go out, but I knew that was impossible. Once napalm ignites it becomes impossible to put out without a ton of chemicals. It just burns until it's components are exhausted.
After almost a minute of trying to put out it's burning body, the xenomorph fell to the ground. It's body spasmed on occasion for a bit longer. I kept my eyes upon it the whole time despite not wanting to see this occur. I don't think that there's a single person who's right in the head that would want to see something burn to death. It was just sickening and the smell... Holy shit, I still don't know how I managed to not throw up. After five minutes of waiting for it's body to twitch again and not doing so, I used my magic to clear the area of any still burning mess and having done that I finally dropped my shield. I still backed up a few more feet from the corpse, conjured a rock, and tossed it at the head of the thing to check it. Only after nothing happened did I take a deep breath and sigh. I still got a bit of a whiff of the charred remains, but knowing that the thing wouldn't be trying to tear me limb from limb made it sting a little less.
"E gads what a mess you made!"
I turned to my right to see Discord strolling out of the treeline waving his paw in front of his face. He probably could smell the burnt odor in the air.
"You have a ten second head start before I come to pummel you for siccing that... that... thing on me!"
"Oh come now. I wouldn't have let it do anything more than maim you before I helped you out."
"Ten...Nine...Eight..."
"Oh you think you could do anything to me?" he asked with a nonchalant smile.
"Seven...Six...Five..."
"Still, you did a great job despite scorching part of the forest, but it can always bounce back."
"Four...Three...Two..."
"Oh! I almost forgot I'm having my usual tea time with Fluttershy today and I don't want to be late! Toodles!" he said and disappeared in a flash.
"Oh that cheating bastard!" I exclaimed. He knew I wouldn't do anything with Fluttershy around. "I'm going to get him so bad for that later!"
My stomach growled at that moment. I looked down and rubbed it a bit while thinking about how long I had been there. I took a look at my watch and according to it I had been out there for about three hours. That didn't really make any sense. Oh wait, it had been three hours since I left the house, not since I started my training. That made more sense.
"I guess I'll head back home for a bit and eat there. No way I'm going to stick around here."
I took a look around at the hazardous zone I had created. Discord hadn't fixed anything up so I snapped my fingers and the place looked just like it did before we started out here. With nature restored and balance attained, I teleported back to my place content in knowing that I was better than... well I wasn't sure how much better I was than before. The only real thing that had changed was that I was informed about the magic I had. Other than that, I guess I just picked up a small amount of combat experience.
...Hooray?
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
"I still think that you and I are a lot alike even if my current demeanor is a bit intimidating."
"O-okay," Fluttershy responded.
She was talking too quietly for me to hear normally. Thankfully, I had a way around that thanks to my magic amplifying anything she said to me. It took a bit of work to get that done, but getting to hear her is worth the time.
You see, normally, as I found out, Fluttershy has been avoiding me since my size is imposing to her and I don't qualify as part of the normal animal kingdom to her. Without the thought of me being an animal, she is reverting to her normal mannerisms around anyone she thinks is physically intimidating. It's almost like we haven't ever interacted with each other. It felt to both of us like things just weren't the same since I came back. Hell, she nearly bolted completely when I appeared in front of my house.
Heh, I realized that I didn't get to eat when I got back. I heard her give off an 'eep' and I went straight into calming her down. It didn't take long, thankfully, but like I said she seems to have regressed to quiet caution around me. At that time, I switched the sign on my door to let people- er ponies, know that I was headed into town for a bit. I managed to get Fluttershy to head into town with me, but unfortunately I've barely gotten her to say dozen words to me on the way.
Like I've said before, Fluttershy is the pony I most identify with. Neither of us like being around groups of people. However, get us on a subject we like and we can really get into the flow. At least that's how I view her. But I digress...
I pretty much spent the short trip to Ponyville with her in bouts of silence and awkward explaining that I was like her. Honestly, I bet it probably creeped her out a little. Some guy you barely know starts walking along side you and says that they're practically you isn't exactly something endearing.
"Well, it's been, um, nice walking with you, but I need to head to the park to make a house call with some of the squirrels that live there."
"Okay. I could help with that if you want?"
"Oh no. It's alright. I don't want to scare the poor little dears. Oh! Not that you're scary! I just mean, um-"
"It's fine," I cut her off. "I understand that I'm a bit intimidating with my size. I'll just... go get something to eat at Sugarcube or something."
It looked like she was going to say something else, but she didn't and instead turned and continued on her way. I think I understood, but it didn't feel any less depressing when she did it. I couldn't-
Wait a second. I think I forgot something.
"Hey Fluttershy."
She had gone a bit of distance, but still heard me and turned around.
"Sorry to ask, but were you meeting with Discord today?"
"Um... no, I wasn't."
"Okay," I said projecting a calm demeanor. "I was just checking."
She gave me a brief smile before turning around again and heading on her way. That dirty little bastard Discord lied to me. I knew he would. At this point it's just trying to figure out when he's lying and when he's trying to be helpful. Fuck it. I told him I would get him back for that 'training trip' and this just gives me time to think up something better anyway.
My growling stomach reminded me that I still hadn't eaten yet. My, well conversation isn't really the word for it. My stroll with Fluttershy had distracted me from going inside to eat. I was almost ready to teleport home when I saw Sugarcube Corner in the distance. I ironically did say that I was going to head there to Fluttershy and it was also the only eatery I knew of in town let alone probably had something on the menu I knew I could eat. Therefore, I disregarded going home and made my way there.
It took me a couple of minutes at my sedate pace to make it there. Just like every time I was there, or so it seemed, the place had no ponies other than the ones behind the counter. Was that just how it went or were the ponies avoiding me like the rain? I wouldn't really be all that surprised if it was the latter. I was beginning to notice less and less ponies around wherever I went. Perhaps they've begun to give me the Zecora treatment. Perhaps I should try utilizing my invisibility spell more often to make sure that the ponies could go about their business without my interference.
I decided to table those thoughts for later as I strode over to the counter. As I arrived, I found it conspicuously unmanned. I knew from past experience that you never leave a counter unattended. It gave customers the impression that they're unwanted. I'd also mention that it helps to prevent theft, but I don't think that's a real issue here. A quick look around revealed no one I could see. However I did find a bell to ring for service. I suppose that made sense. If they had to bake more good or step away for some reason, plus there were only three ponies who worked there total, then it was a must have item for their business. I dropped my hand on the bell and waited.
...For less than half a second as Pinkie Pie sprang up from behind the counter with a loud 'Hi!' Yeah, that spooked me pretty good.
"Where the heck did you come from?"
"From the back of course!" she answered with a cheery smile.
"But you just popped up from behind the counter," I pointed out.
"That's right!"
"And it took you half a second tops," I added.
"It's not nice to keep a customer waiting."
"But- that- it- sigh,"I spat out in resignation.
I have no idea why I was trying to make sense of that. It's a classic gag. You don't mess with gags or try and figure them out. They're not meant to be understood. They are there merely to be enjoyed.
"So what brings you here? Did you want a cupcake? Or maybe a pie? Oh! I know! You came to get some truffles!"
I tuned her out a bit as she continued to list off some items. She had a point at the beginning of her rant. What did I want? I didn't really go there with anything in mind. What was I really in the mood for? Well, bacon for one but they don't sell that here. There was no way I could have a cinnamon bun either. Damn, I really needed to reevaluate my food choices while I was here. Hell, probably in general too. Other than bread what would I really get at a bakery anyway?
"Oh how about some yummy cream puffs? No, I bet you want some doughnuts!"
"Heh, doughnuts are pretty good," I stated when I came out of my thoughts.
"I knew you would want some doughnuts!" Pinkie exclaimed; jumping into the air.
"Then why did you list off all those other foods?"
She looked left and right and then leaned in towards me.
"I did it to throw the other off the trail," she whispered.
Perhaps I need to turn on the Pinkie section of my brain to get this.
"I'll get started on those right now! And I can make a brand new sugar free version just for you!"
Before I could say anything, all that was left of Pinkie was a pink contrail heading into the kitchen. I've always felt like doughnuts aren't the same without real sugar. The few I've tried just don't taste the same. With that thought in mind I decided to head into the back to stop Pinkie from making them.
Only to be stopped at the swinging doors by said pony.
"No peeking!" she yelled sternly.
Before I could even respond, she drew down a curtain that covered the doorway. I was thrown for a moment and then rolled my eyes and drew up the curtain with a tug of my magic. What I wasn't expecting after that was the brick wall that was erected behind it. I honestly couldn't believe she had done it until I felt it with my bare hands.
Actually, this gave me an opportunity to try something I had been thinking about off and on. You see, whenever I use magic in some form I have to focus and use some kind of medium to make it work. By that I mean focusing through my hand or snapping my fingers or in the instance of my invisibility spell I focus on my entire being. Discord didn't seem to have that limitation with some of his antics like the time he plucked his own eyes out and rolled them like dice or when he messed with Angel by pulling a carrot out of his ear that turned out to be his fang. I wanted to know if I was capable of the same feat. I limbered myself up, bounced on the balls of my feet a few times, and grabbed at the brick wall...
...And watched as I ripped it away like wrapping paper. I had literally turned the wall of bricks into a doorway of wrapping paper with a brick pattern. I looked at the paper in my hands for a moment in shock before looking back at the doorway. Pinkie Pie was looking back at me a bit angrily.
"I said no peeking!"
Leave it to Pinkie Pie to take something like what I did in stride.
"You keep running off before I have a chance to tell you anything."
I lifted her up with my magic and set her down in front of me.
"First, I didn't say that I wanted some doughnuts. It was still nice of you to think of making them without sugar just for me."
"Of course! I wanted to make sure that you enjoyed it to the yummiest, fullest, tastiest, healthiest amount that you could!"
"And I'm grateful for that. The other issue is that I don't have any way to pay for them. Celestia is paying for the place I'm staying in, but she isn't giving me any bits to pay for the things I might need."
"Don't worry about it mopey manny. I'll send a bill to the princess for you!"
I mouthed 'mopey manny' before answering her.
"I don't think that Celestia is going to appreciate getting a bill for my miscellaneous expenses. Even if she doesn't mind, I still think that there are things I would rather buy on my own. Of course, that means I'll probably have to look for a job. I'm not even sure that I have any marketable skills for anyone around here."
"Well, you can always help out here in the kitchen!"
"Thanks for the offer, but the only two things I can make well are scrambled eggs and taco meat. It would take too long to get me up to speed. I need to find something more my speed. Besides, hanging around here would tempt me way too much to just start snacking on things."
"Oh believe me I know what you mean. I loooove trying out everything I make. It's the best part of baking!"
"What to do?" I asked to myself quietly while Pinkie looked on. "What could I do?"
I closed my eyes and thought hard. What would be a good fit for me? I can't do fieldwork. I'd scare away ponies as a salesperson. Sales here are done per- er, dammit, I mean pon- you know what? I'll just say face to face. Because they do things that way, they don't need someone to be a cashier. Maybe I could be a mover? No, that would require me to travel and I'd like to stay in an area that I can recognize at least a little.
Wait, something's coming to me. I remember Rarity offering me a job. Yes, she wanted me to work at her boutique when I demonstrated my abilities during the mass humanizing incident last year. If she is still keeping that offer on the table then it just might solve my problem.
"Hey Pinkie! Are ya-"
I opened my eyes and was about to turn towards the new voice that had abruptly cut itself off but stopped before I had a chance to begin. The reason why being that Pinkie Pie was standing on two feet in front of me holding a megaphone in her right forehoof while holding a huge breath in. I had managed to catch her right before she had blared her voice at me. I just seemed to keep being the target of these 'pay attention' jokes didn't I?
"Oh, uh, hey there partner. Didn't expect ya tah be here."
I turned away from the misfired gag to talk to Applejack. She, however, was slightly fidgety and looking a bit off to the side. Something was definitely wrong there.
"Hi there Applejack. Did you need Pinkie for something?"
"Yeah," she spoke hesitantly. "Um, I needed her fer some, um, baking tips! Yeah! I'm tryin' out some new recipes and ah wanted tah see if she'd be willin' tah lend a hoof with it."
Wow. I almost had a convulsion over how much that reeked of lies. What would she possibly be hiding from me? Oh! I had almost forgotten about my missing game. No, that can't be it. Can it? I mean, that would take a plane to get over that leap of logic. And yet, something tickling in the back of my brain was saying that it was the truth. Why though? Is it because I already know about the joke and this way I can help perpetrate it even farther? Oh man, I hate how that makes so much sense and yet no sense at all.
"That's fine. I was done here anyway."
"But what about your doughnuts?"
"Maybe later Pinkie. I need to talk to Rarity about something first."
I walked past Applejack as she walked over to Pinkie Pie and as I reached the front door, I paused. It was strange. It was as if I felt like I needed to say something. I realized what pretty quickly. I turned my head towards the two of them and left a bit of a, for some reason to me funny, parting remark.
"Hey, if either of you see Twilight tell her I'd like my game back alright?"
Oh the look on Applejack's face when I said that. It was almost terrified. In an oddly comical way.
"Uh... sure. I'll do that," she said hesitantly.
I walked out laughing on the inside.
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
Nothing is Going Like I Thought it Would
"I'm Popeye the Sailor Maaaan!"
"He's Popeye the Sailor Maaaan!"
"I'm strongs to the finish 'cause I eats me spinach! I'm Popeye the Sailor Maaaan! *woo woo*"
Oh man was I having a blast with this. I quickly forgot that I had no damn clue which way Rarity's place was again and I was too damn stubborn and bored to just teleport my stupid ass there. So instead of wandering around aimlessly in silence, I created an illusion of Popeye from the classic cartoon show. Wait, you don't know who Popeye is? Google it you lazy bums! He made spinach cool! Just like the Doctor made bow ties cool.
What was even better was that it was so absurd that ponies weren't even looking at us. Well, most of them anyway. I had apparently passed by the same shop three times before the owner stopped me on my fourth pass. He was only too eager to give me directions to Rarity's place and send me on my way. By then it had been almost forty minutes since I had left Sugarcube. When I made it to Carousel Boutique, another ten minutes had gone by.
I dispelled my illusion and went up to the door to let her know I was there. Before I could, I noticed that it was left slightly open. Instead of knocking like I was planning, I slowly opened it up in case something was going on. There was, but not what I was expecting. Rarity was in the center of the room levitating a large number of clothing items around her. What was she doing?
"What are you doing?" I asked; voicing my thoughts.
"I'm looking through my collection so that I don't make the mistake of repeating one of my designs."
"I see," was all the response I could muster.
"I'm taking a small break from my work on our dresses for your upcoming performance at Canterlot Hall to do this. I still haven't started on yours as of yet."
I grimaced at the thought of that horror before continuing on.
"What you're not just going to put me in a penguin suit?" I said sarcastically.
Rarity shifted her gaze from the clothing and gave me a quizzical look.
"What is this... penguin suit you're talking about?"
Me and my terminology at work.
"What I mean is I'm a bit surprised that you aren't just going to put me into a tuxedo and call it good."
"Honestly! The very thought of simply throwing together an ensemble for something such as this would be a stain on my pride as a designer!"
Yeah, I didn't have a dog in that fight. I wear sleeveless shirts for goodness' sake. Fashion isn't something I had any knowledge of. Still, if I was going to see about getting work here I'd probably need to know something. I really hope I'm wrong about that, though.
"Well, there's a reason I'm here today."
"Obviously there is darling. You wouldn't be here otherwise."
Suppress the urge to make a comeback jab.
"The reason I came was to see if you had some sort of job I could do.You see, despite the fact that Celestia is taking care of my expenses, I still feel like I should earn a bit of money on my own. Is there anything you would like for me to do for you?"
Rarity reacted by giving me a bit of an apprehensive look.
"I know I'm not the most fashion forward guy out there," I continued, "but that doesn't mean I don't have the capacity to be helpful in some way. You even asked me to work for you when that whole 'turning Ponyville into people' thing happened."
"I did offer you a position here didn't I? Of course, that was before I found out that your spells disappear when you leave Equestria."
"Only the chaos spells. That doesn't mean I'm incapable of doing anything."
"Capability is only one requirement. Still, I'm nothing if not generous."
I let out a snort of laughter that I was incapable of holding in. In response, Rarity narrowed her eyes at me.
"Sorry. That was just too good of a pun to let slip by," I said sheepishly.
"Yes," she stated dryly, "that was positively hilarious. Nevertheless, I suppose I can have you run errands or something for me."
"Well, what about those dresses you were talking about?"
"Which ones? The ones for my boutique or the ones that we were to wear at your gathering?"
"The latter one," I said with a bit of disdain. "I still don't like the thought of going to that, let alone coming up with something I have to do for this so called performance that Celestia is making me do. However, the fact that it's tomorrow means that I could use my magic on them and not worry about the aftereffects of it. After all, I don't think you would reuse the same dresses for them would you?"
"Well, only Twilight and myself will be needing something to wear. Everypony else declined my request to make them something."
"They probably just don't want you to overexert yourself. Still, hose two on short notice plus what you had to take care of already-"
"I am perfectly capable of finishing all of my work on time even with the inclusion of the new dresses for Twilight and myself."
"And you'd be done even sooner and use less material if I helped out," I pointed out.
"They would also disappear after you went home."
"Which wouldn't matter since most likely none of us would wear any of those garments more than once. Each of us for a different reason, but my point still stands," I countered; my voice getting more gruff.
"I still would rather not make you do anything involving our formal attire."
"Make me? I was trying to get paid helping you like a proper job or something, but now I'm worked up enough about this that I think I'd just do this for free."
"I'd really rather just do this myself if it's all the same to you."
Man, it was like talking to a brick wall on the subject. This was getting me nowhere. She didn't want my help and I didn't think I could convince her to let me do so. For that matter, why was I trying so hard to get her to let me help her? Oh forget it.
"Alright Rarity. You have the authority on the subject, but if you end up needing my help on this let me know. I literally have nothing better to do right now."
"But of course you do! You still have to come up with a performance piece for the show. You said so yourself that you haven't planned a thing to do yet. I would imagine that you should be focusing on that right now."
"Yeah, I know," I said flippantly and turned towards the door. "I'll go do that instead."
"Ta ta!~" she said in a sing-song voice.
I opened the door and left Carousel Boutique behind me. That little side trip for cash was a bust. I honestly didn't think that she'd be so stubborn with what she was working on. I guess that it might be my fault for trying to force myself into the fold so to speak. I can't make her give me a job. That's not how things work. I have to look for one that's already available.
Ha! Like that would work. I'm steadily getting the ghost town treatment. Who would hire a guy that they were all trying to avoid? And for that matter, why do they find me so imposing anyway? Yeah, I'm taller than them but so what? Ugh, maybe that just holds more weight here. Though it has been a bit more of a prevalent absence since the party with Discord.
That was when it clicked. I was some weird creature that they hadn't seen before. I was using chaos magic. I was being buddy-buddy with Discord. Basically, to the ponies I was Discord Jr. Terrific. Just fucking terrific. I'm not sure that's even a salvageable position in their eyes. Yeah, he may be reformed, but that's pretty recent and some grudges are hard to forget.
Well, that pretty much limits my options to the girls and possibly Zecora since she seems level headed. Actually, I take that back. No, not the level headed part. I mean she lives in the Everfree Forest by herself. She may do that on purpose, but I doubt that she has any spare money laying around with her living like a pseudo hermit.
Let's go over my options a bit. Rarity almost tossed me out of her shop so that's a no. Applejack won't let me use magic on her farm and if I do things manually then the two of us will probably get on each others nerves like last time. Rainbow Dash is on the weather team so I don't think that there's anything for me there. Pinkie Pie is just an employee for the Cakes and I don't think they would hire me given their past disposition towards me. Well, it's not doomed to failure like the others so I'll see about that one later. I'm not sure if I'm on good enough terms with Fluttershy to ask her for a job. Besides, I'm pretty sure Angel would just mess with me the whole time and I would fail to get anything done.
That pretty much left me with Twilight Sparkle as my primary option. The problem is that right now she's avoiding me while this running joke is going on. Actually, I think that this joke might help me with achieving that end. I can get to the resolution step and see if she is willing to give me a job out of guilt.
...Okay that felt a bit dirty. Maybe I can ask for something afterwards instead. Eeeh, that still feels like the same thing. Dang it. I guess I'll just let things play out and see if I can find somewhere to bring it up.
For now, it was time for a conclusion to the joke. A good start would probably be at the library. I charged myself up a bit with some magic and teleported to in front of the giant tree. Standing just outside the library was Rainbow Dash and from the look of panic on her face I'd say she was probably on the lookout for me.
"Hey there Seth! How's it goin'?"
"It's going alright. How about you?"
"Oh, you know, it's going pretty good."
Yeah, that turned into an awkward silence.
"So," I pressed on eventually, "any reason why we're just standing out here?"
"Just, um, watching ponies go by us is all."
I looked around and managed to hide a smile as not only were there no other ponies around, but you could hear the sound of a cricket chirping somewhere nearby. As if to accentuate the situation, a sudden slight breeze blew through carrying a tumbleweed right by us. I looked back at Rainbow Dash who quickly gave me a cartoony smile.
"Uh huh," I replied slowly. "Did they take five or something?"
I ended up cutting off her reply with a wave of my hand.
"It doesn't really matter too much. I just wanted to talk to Twilight for a bit."
Yeah, that look of panic came right back to her face.
"Wait! You can't go in!" she exclaimed while failing to hide that same panic in her voice.
"And why can't I go in?" I asked while crossing my arms.
"Um, because she's, uh, doing an experiment! Yeah! She's in the middle of one of her egghead experiments right now and can't be messed with!"
Wow, that actually a pretty decent cover story. Color me impressed. It was good enough that I had to think of a way in to circumvent her. The trouble was that I couldn't think of anything. I just ended up staring at Rainbow Dash for I'm not sure how long before I noticed some thing odd. Her eyes has lost their focus a bit and it seemed like she wasn't really staring at me, but instead she was staring at nothing.
"Rainbow Dash?"
She mumbled something I couldn't quite hear.
"Rainbow Dash!" I shouted at her.
That seemed to snap her to her senses. She shook her head violently for a split second and looked around a bit before her gaze was focused on me once again.
"You okay? you kinda spaced out a bit there Dash."
"Yeah, I'm fine," she said with a voice filled with more confidence than I was expecting.
"What just happened? You spaced out a bit there."
"I don't really know," she said with a bit more of the uncertainty that I had expected. "You went quiet like you sometimes do. Then there was some colors and I don't really remember anything else until you shouted at me."
That was pretty weird. Did she just space out hard like me? What did she mean by colors? Dang it, I hate when I feel like I missed something obvious.
"Well, I'm not sure what just happened," I spat out at last. "I suppose I just was thinking too hard about trying to get inside."
"Well, why don't you just walk inside? It's not that hard you know."
"...What?"
"It's not that hard to get in there. You could just teleport inside if you think it's too small for you to get through or something dumb like that."
"..."
What the flying fuck? What's up with this? Up until a second ago she was trying to keep me out of the library and now she's acting like she doesn't care at all. Something happened. She saw something while I was zoned out. Perhaps Twilight signaled her? Dammit this is getting weirder and weirder. And not funny weird, but more like the Twilight Zone weird. Heh. Well, that was a little funny I suppose. I guess if I go inside then I may get some answers. If not, I can always ask Twilight if she might know anything. Besides, I need to get this joke back on track.
"I guess I'll just teleport inside. It sounds stupid to think I can't just walk inside," I said with a hint of confusion.
"Yeah, that does sound stupid," she said with a light chuckle. "I'm going to go on home since I don't have to do anything else today. Later!"
With a salute, I watched the rainbow colored mare take off in the direction I presumed her house was in.
"That was incredibly odd," I spoke voicing my thoughts aloud, "but whatever. I'd like my DS back now."
With a quick spin of my heel I was facing the library again. I quickly teleported inside and stumbled a bit over some books on the ground. After I regained my balance, I noticed that I wasn't just unlucky. Books of all kinds littered the floors in piles, stacks, and for some reason a miniature house. The shelves that they were meant to rest on were nearly bare. I found the couple of books somehow resting on the ceiling when I looked up especially humorous. Standing just off from the center of the room was Twilight. She was continually levitating books in front of herself, scanning through them for a bit, and then closing them while moving them out of the way for the next book.
Ahh, Twilight in deep frantic research mode. It always was a bit humorous... to start with. It quickly gets old if no other stimulus is added in. Heh, I guess that's my role this time. I stepped around the books until I was standing right behind her. After a few more seconds I put a shield over my bottom half to avoid any hilarious accidents.
"Hey there Twilight."
Twilight responded with a high pitched yell and jumped up into the air. I was lucky in the fact that when she did jump into the air her limbs shot straight out and while her jump placed her at my eye level where the shield wasn't her ramrod straight legs had gone to the sides of my face and missed hitting me altogether. She landed softly and quickly spun around to face me while at the same time her hold on the books was released and they fell to the ground with a 'thud!'
"Seth! Hello! What a surprise to see you here right now."
"I'm sure it is," I said knowingly.
"Well, um, whatever it is you're here for it can wait. I'm busy looking for something important."
Good cover. However, this one I was prepared for.
"That's fine. Just let me grab my DS and I'll get out of your way."
Her eyes widened and she turned her head around so that I couldn't see her face. It didn't take a genius to figure out why. Well, at least someone who knew what was going on anyway. After several seconds, I was about to comment on her lack of response when she turned back towards me.
"I would, but it's really cluttered right now. I'm really not sure where it is right at this moment. Let me finish this, clean up the mess, and then I'll give your game back to you."
That was a pretty nice save princess. Too bad I know how to answer that.
"Well, I have nothing better to do. I can wait for you to finish and when you're done I can help you clean up."
"Oh! Um, uh, I guess that's fine. It might take a while, though, so you might want to head back to your place for now."
"Nah. I'm fine. Anything that I was going to do there I can do here instead. Or whatever."
At that moment, my stomach growled to remind me that I still had not eaten yet. That gave her the perfect excuse.
"You sound like you haven't eaten today."
"I did, but training with Discord took it right back out."
"Well then you should probably go home and eat something," she said with some confidence returning to her demeanor.
Betrayed by my own body. What else was new? Still, I was not letting this go on any further.
"I can just eat here while I wait," I countered.
"I do not want you eating in here!" she exclaimed forcefully. "You'll get food all over the books!"
"I didn't really mean in here," I responded defensively with my arms raised. I knew not to mess with books around Twilight Sparkle. "I mean I can make something in your kitchen and eat there."
"You can't!" she snapped. "I have a, um, very important experiment going on in there!"
"Weren't you looking for something in here?"
"I'm perfectly capable of multitasking. Now, you should go home and get something to eat. I'll bring you your game after I'm done with everything here."
Dammit, there's no counter to that other than the truth! Dammit, dammit, dammit! Why can't I be smarter than this? With a heavy sigh I calmed my rising temper and relented to the fact that this joke was now going to take even longer. It's like a damn conventional law from 'SWTG' like 'Rule of Funny' and I had to just let it go because I'm, again, not smart enough to argue it away.
"Alright Twilight. I'll head home, get something to eat, and, ugh, maybe work on figuring something out for that performance Celestia wants me to do."
"That's great! I'll help you get there!"
"What do you-"
I actually cut myself off when I saw Twilight charge up her horn. I knew what she was doing to late to do anything about it as a bright flash encompassed my vision for a moment. A bit of blinking away the blindness later and I found myself standing in front of the door to the cabin. I groaned disdainfully as I went inside.
"Well, I suppose trying to do whatever I can to put this off isn't really helping me out any," I said out loud to myself as I made my way inside to the kitchen area. "I guess I'll just brainstorm some stuff while I wait for this joke to end."
Author's Note
I was originally going to have a montage scene where Rarity and myself worked on those outfits, but I thought that continuing the running joke of Twilight messing up my DS and bringing it more to the forefront would be cooler. Plus it got me to write faster too! Maybe.
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
Moving Right Along... Slowly...
Well, several hours later my little brainstorming session had gone pretty well. I had figured out what I was going to do, yet I knew that I was not in the right condition to do them. Yeah, I could pull off the whole thing using my magic and probably have a good time doing it. The issue was, of course, my terrible stage fright. It's so bad that I misspelled chair in a spelling contest when I had about two hundred and fifty or so students watching the whole thing. This time around I'm going to be putting on a performance in front of a crowd of ponies over twice that size. Trust me. I made a through the looking glass contraption to ask Celestia about the thing.
Heh. The reaction she had when my face popped up in front of hers was pretty funny. I signed off from that by creating a giant balloon over her head and popped it on her horn to coat her and the area around her throne in shaving cream. I have no idea if she was going to let the prank war go away, but I decided that since I was here that I would have some fun with it and launch the first salvo against her.
I was given more of the specifics from her before I did that like how long I was to take, what I shouldn't do in front of them, when specifically I was supposed to take the stage. That last one finally got rid of my own stupid running gag. What the hell the time was. Nobody seemed to want to tell me when in the day it was and apparently it was Celestia's idea to do so. That's pretty much the reason why I ended up doing what I did to her. Payback sucks Celestia.
Anyway, after getting the information from her I had to go over what I ought to do. I was to put on something, but all she said was to make it interesting. I found that kind of vague, but it also gives me room for interpretation. Honestly, I think she just wanted me to do something that I'd enjoy doing in order for me to work on the stage fright issue... Maybe the anti-social thing as well. As much as we're teasing each other I'm getting the feeling that she's trying to get me to grow as a person like she does with Twilight.
Meh, enough with the introspective thinking. Let's move on to what happened afterwards. Namely something I realized during my little session that I figured out I could do.
After deciding on what I would do, I set down the notebook I wrote everything down in and snapped my fingers. Discord then appeared in a flash in the middle of the air looking a bit astonished. As soon as he appeared, I jumped off of the couch, latched onto him, and began to give him a furious noogie so powerful that the friction almost caught on fire.
"You didn't think I'd forget about you so easily now did you?"
"I was rather hoping that you would. What sort of terrible revenge have you plotted against me for most eeevil transgressions?" he spouted sarcastically.
"Well," I said and dropped to the ground beside him, "I was thinking about that and I think instead of giving you some kind of punishment I'm going to make you help me with the end of a joke."
"Hmmm," he replied while stroking his beard. "A joke you say?"
"Oh it's nothing you wouldn't already be interested in. That is if you don't already know what's going on."
"Ohhh, I have a hunch," he said in a bit of a cheeky manner.
"Well, Twilight's gone through every other avenue she can think of. I believe that it's time you provide the crescendo to her state of chaos. You know... Do what you do best."
Discord let out a chuckle and began to tap his fingertips together.
"My dear boy, you have directed quite the devious ploy. I am impressed," he finished in a low tone.
"Eh, it's just a running gag," I said with a shrug. "She actually started it by keeping my DS. If she had just come forward and admitted the issue then none of this would be happening."
"Well, far be it for me to not help get as many laughs out of a joke as possible."
"Just help me put the final nail in this coffin would you?" I asked a bit beleagueredly.
"I would be glad to! Time for some fun !" he finished forcefully.
As he disappeared, I took one last look at my list and then checked my watch. Not knowing what the time was for as long as I did was a real pain. Sure I knew how much time passed when I looked at it. The issue was that if anyone wanted me to be somewhere by a certain time, then my watch was pretty useless. But now it was different. Now I knew that it was 5:21 in the p.m. and it had been almost four hours since I had left Twilight to her endeavor in the library. Yeah, it may not mean much that I got these things rectified, but it means something to me.
What I needed to do now was get the timing for Discord's addition to the joke down right. I didn't give him any specific instructions to follow. It would be easier for Discord to just act like himself, after all. The issue at hand would be how he would play out his part as the last resort of the desperate.
Oh wait just a second here. Twilight was desperate. I just gave Discord carte blanche to do whatever he wanted with her in the name of this dumb joke. Oh shit, did he plan this? All of a sudden, this felt like something he might come up with. Twilight might know a bit about technology, but I'm pretty sure she doesn't know enough to notice the subtle nuances that some like my DS has in contrast with something here such as, say her little machine that she has stored in the basement. Her main studies are in magic and friendship. When it comes to everything else she's more of a jack of all trades. Discord probably knew this as well and is going to take advantage of the situation.
As I was about to go there and to something, I noticed something... rather odd happen. It wasn't anything grand, but instead it was so very imperceptibly noticeable. The entire room just seemed to shift ever so slightly to a different angle. It was almost like I had tilted my head ever so slightly to the right and hadn't seen myself do it.
I hated that. I hated that so much. It was a weirdness that I couldn't explain. I'm not just talking about that time, but the fact that it had happened twice before back when I was on Earth as well. Once when I was driving home and it looked like everything was suddenly closer. The other time was, ironically, at a magic show. I was seven at the time and somehow during the trick the color of a rabbit in a picture changed from white to brown. I mean when it changed it changed faster than a camera shutter fast. Not only that, but everything else in the room looked slightly tilted from before the point it had changed colors. I hate it because it defies any logic! At least here I could come up with some sort of craziness as an explanation. Not so back home. Fuck that drives me nuts that I have no answer for it!
No, now was not the time to get so pissed off at the weird things that happened to me. Instead, I needed to get to Twilight before Discord did something with her. I powered up a bit, as I had started to call it since it sounded cool, and I decided to check my coin to see how this was draining my magic. After digging it out of my pocket, I flipped it to the blank side and noticed the glowing edge was a little less than half way around the rim. I'd say maybe forty five percent charge held in the coin. I wasn't really sure how much magic I was capable of holding despite all the numbers that Discord had given me, but I knew that I didn't have a battery indicator on me anywhere. Well, unless you counted the tattoo on my hand, but that didn't function as such.
And so, as I made delays to my haste, I was caught by surprise as there was a knock on my door. To my great surprise the door let me know that Twilight had shown up at my doorstep. That just didn't add up. I took maybe a minute after the weirdness had happened and was just about teleport over there and she's already here? How?
Well, Twilight might have the answers I was seeking so I made my way to the door and opened it up to greet her.
"Hey Twilight. What's up?"
Her reaction was to look to the side and rub the back of her head with her hoof. For some reason, she also looked like she was blushing. I wasn't really sure why though.
"Hello Seth. I, um, came to give this back to you," she said while continuing to not look at me.
Her horn lit up and my DS came floating from off of her back where I didn't see it before and came to a stop just in front of me. I subsequently reached out and picked it out of the air and took a quick look at it. Nothing seemed to be wrong with it. It still had the same worn appearance that I had given it through years of play. I guess Discord didn't do anything to it.
"Thanks for giving this back to me Twilight. Did you have fun with it?"
"Yes!" she blurted out. "Um, I mean yes, I did have some fun with it as I was studying it. I learned quite a bit from it."
"Well, I'm glad to hear that. I was beginning to worry that something had happened," I said while managing to keep the mirth out of my voice.
Her face instantly switched to one of concealed panic.
"Of course nothing happened! Why would you think anything happened? That's silly! You're silly!"
"Twilight, you sound kind of bothered by something," I said while becoming more exasperated by the second. "If something is going on you know that I have plenty enough indifference to hear about it and not really care one way or the other, but not enough that I wouldn't give you some advice on it."
Again, her face went red. This time, though, her entire face was covered in a reddish hue.
"Wouldyouliketogoonanoutingwithme?" she blurted out.
"Huh? That was a little fast for me. What did you just say?"
"I-I wanted to know if you would like to go out and do something with me?" she asked just as nervously as before.
Warning. Vital brain functions have gone into shutdown. Please enter emergency reset code to reactivate normal parameters.
**************************
Code accepted. Brain has rebooted. Normal functions have been restored. Have a nice day.
"You want to do what!?!" I nearly bellowed in surprise.
"I want you to go on a date with me!" she yelled with a completely red face this time.
I was having none of that. As soon as she yelled that last bit at me I proceeded to pick her up with a bit of levitation and pull her face to within a few inches of mine.
"Alright. What the fuck is going on here? The is no woman on the face of this planet or mine that would be willing to go on a date with me without having severe mental problems."
Man, even as I said that I felt how much that hurt to hear out loud. It also seemed to resonate with Twilight as some of the red left her face.
"You really think that?"
"This isn't the time for what I think. Or at least that part. Anyway, I know that you wouldn't want to go on a date with me. Something is very wrong with this scenario. Why did you suddenly want to ask me out? You're not a changeling are you?"
"No, I'm not a changeling."
"Oh yeah? How did you recover from Discord's mental attacks when you returned to the library?"
"I reread all the friendship reports that I had sent Princess Celestia. But how would you know if- Oh. Right."
"Yes that's correct. And so is your answer. I doubt a changeling would know that answer so that doesn't make you a changeling..."
"No it doesn't. Now can you please put me down?"
I gently set her down and released the hold I had on her.
"Twilight, I am not going to stand here and believe for one second that you actually want to go on a date with me. You need to tell me what's going on."
Twilight looked like she was going to... well, I don't really know how to say it, but she looked panicked, looked everywhere but at me, almost like she was sacred of something. And then, it was like a switch was flipped and she let out a huge sigh.
"I have something to tell you. I... accidentally broke your game."
As she said that, I felt a bunch of weight suddenly appear in my pants. I reached into my pants pocket and pulled out my DS. Or what used to be my DS. The thing was a mess now. The black matte finish, while worn in places before, now was smeared with red and pink smudges of some kind of substance that I couldn't quite identify. The cover where the SD card went as well as the stylus were missing. My Pokemon game looked as though it had been jammed into the game slot in a manner that wasn't conducive to the manufacturer's suggested usage. Opening it up revealed that both screens had been ripped up. Both the d-pad and the b button were missing and, of course, when I pressed the power button it didn't turn on.
"I think broke might be just a bit of an understatement," I quipped.
"I don't understand what happened. I didn't do anything wrong and suddenly there was this red light on there, but I didn't see anything happening other than that so I continued on and then the whole system shut down! I tried to figure out what happened to it and things just started to spiral out of control! Before I knew what had happened I tried to get help from everypony I could think of who knew anything about this which was almost nopony! Then they all tried to be helpful, but all it did was make things worse. I was so certain that I could fix things that I just had Rainbow Dash run interference, but that failed an you still got inside the library. I almost gave up and told you, but I panicked again and sent you off.
"I kept trying to figure a way to fix things, but nothing worked. When I didn't think there was any way out of it, Discord showed up and told me that he could fix it. I was a bit skeptical, but since he actually has been to your planet I trusted his word on it and agreed. However, he said that fixing it came with a price. He said that in exchange for fixing it that I would have to go on a date with you. He said that since it was something that you owned that was broken then it was only right to make it up to you some other way. It didn't really sound like a bad idea at the time, but looking back on it now it just feels rather unlike me to agree to that."
"Yeah, I can't argue with that."
"But now your game is broken and there isn't anything I can do about it now. I'm sorry Seth. I should have came to you as soon as it happened and apologized for breaking it. I truly am sorry for doing so."
I closed my eyes and rubbed my forehead for a moment. Then I opened them back up and looked at her again.
"Yeah, you should've come to me as soon as it happened. The only thing that was wrong with it was the fact that it ran out of power. Besides, if Discord could fix it then why would you think that I couldn't?"
I levitated the DS in front of me and snapped my fingers. The DS shone for a second and it quickly reverted to it's previous state. I reached out, grabbed onto it, and promptly placed it into my pocket. Twilight promptly facehoofed.
"I just don't know what to say about this," Twilight groaned out.
"This is Discord we're talking about. I wouldn't be surprised if he did something to make you think it was a good idea. Let's just forget about the whole thing and say that you've learned a lesson about not avoiding things that are bad in which you have to confront. Or something like that. That sound good to you?"
"That sounds just fine. Now, why don't we head to the library? We all need to talk about your upcoming performance at Canterlot Hall."
"Sure thing. I've actually got some notes that you all might want to look at..."
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
"No Pinkie."
"Aww, come ooooon!"
"I said no Pinkie."
"Pleeeeeease?"
"It's still no Pinkie."
"I'll give you all the sugar free treats you can eat!!!"
"You've been doing that anyway."
"Aw come on now sugarcube. It'll help you get ready for when yer performin' later. If'n ya can't do it in front of a few of us how do ya reckon you'll be able to do it in front a all those ponies there?"
"Why do you keep calling everyone sugarcube?"
"Why shouldn't I? Now stop bein' so ornery about this and just do it!"
"Yes mistress Applejack," I said grumpily.
When the sputtering from her and Rarity, for some reason, had finished, I began to do an a Capella rendition of Everything is Beautiful by Ray Stevens. Yes the same Ray Stevens who sung The Streak. If you don't know what that is then you're missing out. It's pretty damn funny. The song that I was singing was way more gospelly though, if that's even a word. Pinkie just wanted me to sing something from the concert I was going to perform and I just didn't want to ruin anything by singing it too early so I sung that as a compromise.
It was to be a precursor to my little performance at Canterlot Hall. I ended up discussing the few ideas I had come up with between myself, Twilight, and the rest of the gang after we had assembled at the library. After shooting down most of them, especially the one she realized might cause property damage, we came to an agreement that I would put on a show that would give them all a taste of music found on Earth. The rest of the chat basically came down to the content of said songs. We hit a bit of a snag for a bit because when I went to explain some songs, we would end up with everyone bursting into song despite the fact that I knew there was no way they had those references in pony culture, had those lyrics ingrained in their minds, or had even heard of some of the words I ended up singing. In fact, I almost had to knock myself out when I ended up dangerously close to singing Gangster's Paradise. That would've been a real downer for them to hear, though I did think about singing Amish Paradise later instead.
Despite the issues, I managed to cobble together a playlist to perform. Twilight was about to send this off to Celestia, but I put the kibosh on that. If she is making me do this against my wishes, then she is not going to get informed about what to expect. Of course, she still told Celestia about part of it after I left. How did I find this out? Well she came by my place that night during some... interesting events and that's really all I'm going to say about it. After the entire thing that went on that night, Twilight actually slept on the couch saying that it was unusually comfortable. I can attest to that, but no matter how I asked her she wouldn't tell me why she slept on my couch instead of heading back home. Eventually, I just came to the conclusion that she was too tired to head back to her place and just crashed there. The things that poor mare saw and heard that night probably had something to do with it, but I just really didn't want to touch the subject.
After I found her that morning and fed her some breakfast, I'm not going to be a bad host after all, I escorted her out of the house and to my horror I found that my entire house had been colored pink with purple polka dots. There was also a note on a window sill that read 'Celestia was here'. It was an interesting choice of retaliation if I do say so. A bit more of an escalation than I expected though. I just decided to play it off and I managed to do so with the help of a little chaos magic. A snap of my fingers later and the place looked just as it did before.
After seeing off Twilight and having her tell me when our departure time was, I headed back in and... Well, I did abso-fucking-lutely nothing. Not every moment of one's life is going to be interesting and I am even less interesting than the normal person. All I really did for the next several hours was eat some breakfast, play some games, fine tune my song list for the program, eat some lunch, and play some more games. Even in a faraway land full of magical, talking ponies I find a way to be completely mediocre.
At about four o'clock, Rarity showed up with my outfit for the evening. I did complain for a little bit about having to wear the thing prior to arriving since I hate wearing things that are uncomfortable, but it was rendered a moot point since this was Rarity who made it and it was still rather comfortable to wear. 'It' being a rather fancy black tuxedo with a deep blue bow tie. It came in a set with a white silk undershirt and matching black pants that felt rather comfy. It took a bit of getting used to the full length sleeves, but I got buttoned at the cuffs and it worked out fine. The bow tie, however, was something I couldn't do on my own.
I never liked ties. Not a single bit. They're basically a piece of fabric that wraps around your neck. My neck is pretty sensitive already and having something wrapped around it feels like a form of torture to me. Nothing really feels good on my neck, but at least some clothing feels less terrible enough for me to push through it, but a tie is out of the question. The problem was that Rarity would have none of it. I would either put the tie on, or she would put it on for me. Well, I was stubborn enough that it actually degenerated to the latter option... Which probably worked out better since because I had done nothing with ties in the past she was able to tie it up for me. Fuck, man, even with the nice material she made it out of it was still very uncomfortable. At least I managed to talk her into letting that stay untied until I arrived there because I was about to start spasming with that thing on. That whole fiasco took around forty five minutes and we both left for the train depot right afterwards.
I'm pretty sure that Rarity was parading me through town to boot. I told her that I was fine teleporting to the train station and she responded by saying that it would be much too early for us to arrive there. While I let it go since she hadn't dressed up herself, I couldn't help but feel pony eyes upon me as we went through the town making the whole thing at least a bit suspect. I honestly felt more this way since she brought me to the library and then she 'suddenly' remembered to grab her outfit for the evening back home. I gave her a look that told her what I thought of that excuse, but she brushed it off like a pro and headed off in what I can only assume was the direction of Carousel Boutique.
I didn't feel like going inside so I just created a large parasol and just stood there underneath it waiting for someone to come and get me. About half an hour later I was getting a little concerned about the time we were taking. The whole shebang started at eight and it was about five thirty at the time. It took about two hours to get to Canterlot by train and that meant that we had to leave pretty soon to get there on time. There was very little leeway for anyone to be given for this.
By a quarter til six, I had had enough. I teleported myself straight to the train station to just see if I could get on the train. It turned out that everyone was waiting for me there. Apparently, Discord had gotten permission from the others to come get me ready, which no one told me just how he was able to do it. The fact that he disguised himself as Rarity was not part of what they discussed though. However, just because he's not a hundred percent willing to do whatever he asked he took me to the library instead of the train station because why not? We were barely able to make it on the train before it departed.
Most of my time on the train was spent having a nice talk with Spike. I hadn't quite interacted with him any since he had gotten his memories returned to him like the others so now that things seemed to have settled down between me and the others he decided to ask me some questions. For some reason, though, a lot of them were the same questions from before. In retrospect I believe that was asking about it because the two of us barely had any interaction last time as well. Why was that? I remember people always complaining about Spike not getting a lot of respect, but it really kind of felt like he was a ghost; not really being noticed until he was needed or did something noteworthy. Kind of like me really. Weird. We were almost to the train station when he had asked about what I was going to do there since Twilight hadn't told him yet. I didn't see the harm in telling him that I would be performing some songs from my world. Pinkie Pie edged in to my conversation and wanted to hear me sing something early and here we are with me finishing singing some Ray Stevens as we pulled into the station.
"That sounded lovely dear," Rarity commented. "You should sing more songs like that."
"Eh, I don't really like gospelly songs like that. I do like other Ray Stevens songs though."
"Who's Ray Stevens?" asked Twilight.
"He just told us who Ray Stevens was!"
"Wrong side of the wall, Pinkie," I drolled out.
"Oh, right. Whoopsies!"
"Wait, what just happened?" asked Rainbow Dash.
"We just rolled into the station," I said to cut that short, "that's what."
On cue, the doors to the cabin opened up for all of us to disembark. Everyone gathered their belongings and exited while I hung back to wait on them to get off. After doing so, I took a quick look and teleported out so that I didn't bump into anyone.
"We don't have a lot of time left until the presentation begins so keep a look out for the carriage we're supposed to take," Twilight stated succinctly.
"I don't think we have that much time Twilight," I rebutted.
"Of course we do, darling. There's still over an hour before the performance is supposed to start."
"What? Celestia told me it was supposed to start twenty minutes from now at eight o'clock!"
"Not according to the official invitations that we received."
A small paper was then levitated out of the saddlebag... thing she was given by a train attendant and then placed into my hand. Sure enough, the invitation noted that the time for the performance was an hour later than when I was told.
"I swear Celestia is just trolling me on this now."
"Now, now, there was a reason for when she told you this began at the wrong time."
"That's right," Rainbow Dash added on. "We were told to keep it a secret so that Discord didn't strand you somewhere and make you miss anything."
"But- he- with- at the- and you- Why would you send him to me if you were trying to make sure he didn't stop me!?" I asked flailing my arms as I talked.
"Reverse psychology," Rainbow answered as she flew right up into my face to tell me.
I was honestly too stunned to come up with an argument to that. It just baffled me to no end. Seriously, why did that happen? Why would they send the guy that they made plans to go around straight to me? That's just counterproductive. That started giving me a headache so I just dropped it and moved on with the others who had spotted the carriage during my bout with mental issues.
"So, Seth, did you finalize the list of songs that you're going to sing?" asked Twilight.
"Yes I did," I replied as I snapped my fingers and a list appeared in my hand.
"I'm not really sure showing me this list of yours really matters. I doubt I know any of these songs at all."
I looked at the list for a moment before shrugging.
"I suppose that's true."
I watched as everyone started filing into a large carriage. It looked like one of those carriages that you see in fairy tales. White with gold trim, about twenty feet long, massive gold painted wheels, and six ponies hooked up to the front to pull it. I can't believe how redundant that is. Ponies are basically hooked up to a wagon to pull ponies. I don't even see a driver. I wouldn't even bring that up if it weren't for the fact that there was a seat on the front for one. Why would there be a seat for a driver if the ponies hauling the carriage are already aware of the destination and any problems? The whole trip just to get there is giving me a Rita Repulsa-sized headache!
At this point, I decide not to get in the carriage and instead head up to the bench in the front. There's a bit of a surprised murmur that came from the stallions who were pulling the whole shebang. I wasn't really surprised, but I tuned it out as Spike climbed up right next to me.
"You'd think ponies would be used to me by now," I half grumbled out of irritation as the talk from the stallions got loud enough to hear easily.
"Hey, it took a while for ponies to get used to me too," Spike added trying to get me to let it go.
"Yeah, I don't really know about that. Hey guys!" I yelled to them; getting there attention. "I know you're a bit weirded out by me, but I doubt that Princess Celestia is going to take it very well if you don't bring us all to the hall on time."
Upon hearing that, they ceased the chatter and started along.
"Princess Celestia wouldn't be that cross with them."
"I know that and you know that, but I doubt that they've hung around the princess enough to be aware of it. Besides, I don't think we should be late and mess up the whole thing."
"You know, from what Twilight said about you I thought that you would be taking this a whole lot worse that what you look like you're taking this. You know?"
"Yeah, I agree. That's because I am going to be abusing the hell out of this magic to make things go my way."
"Um, I really don't like the sound of you saying that you're going to be abusing magic. I never hear of anypony abusing magic and ending up okay in the end."
"Too true, my sorcerer's apprentice, and normally you'd be right. However, I am using chaos magic. By it's very definition it ends up doing things the opposite way of what you expect them to."
"I'm not sure that's it's definition."
"Don't be a bummer Spike. Nobody likes a bummer."
"Fine. So what are you going to oh great and powerful Seth?"
"It's simple really. I don't know why I didn't think of this sooner. I'm going to magic away my inability to stare down crowds."
"You're going to what?" Spike asked flatly.
"I'm going to use my chaos magic powers and get rid of my stage fright."
"That's your plan? Change who you are just so you can go on stage and perform in front of hundreds of ponies."
I shuddered a little at the mentioning and imagining of all those eyes staring at me.
"Yeah, that's my plan in a nutshell. Get rid of my concern for being the center of attention so that I can be the center of attention. Of course, since things don't usually go that well I expect some kind of cosmic or karmic backlash from getting away with this or just stopping me entirely.
"But of course I doubt it'll be that bad."
"Pfft. Who am I kidding? It'll be terrible, but worth it!"
Author's Note
Holy crap this chapter just would not come out for me. I had to drag this chapter kicking and screaming into written form. The whole transition just felt terrible. But here it is! Suck it writer's block!
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
Meet and Greet; However Short
"Are you sure about this?"
"Spike, if I don't do this I'm going to be nothing but a gibbering mess before I get on stage. I know Celestia is trying to make me get over my issues as a person, but this is an equivalent to shoving a lion cub off of a cliff and waiting for to climb it's way back up."
"That sounds terrible!"
"It is. It so is. And I'm not going to do any such thing. You don't tell the others unless it looks like something bad is going to happen... Or until afterwards when I can deal with the fallout. After all, It's easier to ask for forgiveness then for permission."
"I don't know..."
"I'll throw in a bucket of precious gems for you to eat."
"Deal!"
I shook his hand, and yes I call it a hand even if it ended with claws because that still constitutes a hand in my mind, and snapped my fingers. I felt... well, I really didn't feel any different. I didn't have any feelings of mine change any. Looking around didn't make for any noticeable change. As far as I could tell, I just felt... normal. Not normal, normal because I still had on a tuxedo and because the magic as well.
It would be tested soon enough as the carriage had arrived at the walkway leading to Canterlot Hall... Which really wasn't a hall at all. We actually stopped in front of the short road that led to the front of Canterlot Castle. It was then that I remembered that the hall they were talking about was that ballroom that was an annex of the castle. I knew this and yet I couldn't make the connection between them. It made me wonder about that spell that boosted my memory. I didn't really test it out, but Discord did say that it wasn't infallible. I would probably test it out later.
All of the ponies filed out and Spike and myself hopped down from the front to join them. I was quite surprised to see them all in some sort of dress especially considering that they hadn't gotten onto the carriage wearing anything at all. Them changing didn't really bother me considering that ponies don't traditionally wear clothes anyway. At least I then knew why they had brought the luggage now.
...Or apparently not as they ended up leaving the small amount of luggage they had on the carriage as I was told it would be transported to lodgings in another part of the castle. In retrospect, I guess that was the other reason why everyone else had brought something. It didn't matter much to me since I apparently had long distance teleportation ability. At least that's what Discord told me in one of his rare 'I don't feel like messing too much with you' moments. It just takes more magic the farther away I need to go. Sounds like it should've been pretty obvious doesn't it?
"Alright everypony," Twilight quickly announced to all of us, "let's make sure to have a good time while we're here."
"And none of that Gala stuff you all pulled last time," I added.
"Ya'll didn't have tah remind us ah that, ya know?" replied Applejack with a touch of discomfort.
"Honestly, I was just talking about the singing before you went in."
"Sure ya were sugarcube, sure ya were."
I grumbled for a quarter second before Twilight spoke up again.
"Well, like I was saying, let's all have fun and stick together so we don't have to worry as much about getting stuck in an uncomfortable situation."
A chorus of nods from everyone assembled and we took our short walk to the hall, er, castle and after seeing that it would be the castle I was figuring that it would be the same thing I saw when I left about a week ago. I was a mite surprised at the changes in there. A good deal of the decor was the same. The pristine white walls and the fancy stone tiles were very much the same as before as were the small statues and glass art in the windows. What was nice and unexpected was the undertone of blue that was everywhere. Blue banners, blue tables, blue food for some reason, blue trim on the bannisters, blue and blue and blue all over the place. I loved it.
Also something else that surprised me was the guests in attendance. It was mostly ponies, which was to be expected, and they wore all manner of fancy attire. Mingled into the ponies were several zebras as well as a few minotaurs and griffons. Not groups I was expecting, but I guess I should have. I kind of wanted to give the griffons a cheeseburger and ask what they thought of it, but I never got the opportunity.
"Fillies, gentlecolts, and assorted other guests of importance," a random armored pony bellowed, "I hereby announce the arrival of Princess Twilight Sparkle!"
All eyes immediately darted towards the entrance to see the new Princess of the realm. As all eyes were upon here, our entire group was then being scrutinized by our vicinity to her.
"I also wish to announce our entertainment for the evening; Seth the Human."
Wow that was a dick move. Not the fact that he did it, but the fact that he wouldn't have done it unless Celestia told him to do it. It pretty much got every set of eyes in the room to focus on me. It may not have bothered me at the time since I had disengaged my brain from my panic mode, but it also may have kept me from doing something that I regretted right then. I looked right up at the top of the staircase near the entrance and saw the remaining three princesses looking down at our little group. I narrowed my eyes at Celestia in particular.
"Not cool Celestia! If I could, I would take the sun and slap you upside the head right now!"
Jaws. Dropped. Everywhere. There wasn't a creature in there, with the exception of Celestia and Pinkie's crazy grins, that didn't look at me like I was insane for saying what I had just said. Of course, seeing all those eyes on me didn't work the same as it did before, but they still made me rethink what I said. After a few tense moments, I decided to follow that up.
"Then again, I think that might be a bit excessive so I'll think of something less violent to get you back with instead."
With a quick teleport, I reappeared right in front the trio and using some good ole chaos magic I made my arms stretch out gathered all three of them in a gigantic hug.
"But right now big hug for you three!"
Not a peep came from the alicorns as I gave them a quick, yet tight hug from behind. As I let them go, they all turned to address me.
"Do you think that your display was really necessary?" Celestia asked.
"Especially the violent part? I don't think that was needed," Cadence added.
"Twas most unnecessary if thou were to ask me," Luna finished.
"Well, it was a memorable entrance wasn't it? This may be happening at Celestia's behest in order to work some sort of lesson into my brain, but that doesn't mean that some kind of spectacle has to happen somewhere other than on stage does it?"
The princesses didn't have time to respond to that as the six ponies and one dragon I came with made it up the stairs to us.
"I'm so, so sorry Princess Celestia!" Twilight blurted out. "I didn't know he would do that!"
"It is quite alright. I know he meant what he said only in jest. Though it was quite surprising that he did it considering so many eyes were upon him."
Yeah, I didn't like the way she said that. I doubted that she knew what was going on, but I think she suspected that something was happening. She can be kind of... meh sometimes. If she did know, she didn't call me on it so I didn't mess with my spell. The rest I sort of tuned out since it was just the two groups catching up. What they would need to catch up on in the span of about a week of not seeing each other I have no idea. I could be sexist and say that it's just something that happens because women have entire psuedo-lives in the span of a few days, but I don't really feel that sort of thing might apply here the same as back home.
"Now that the pleasantries are wearing down, I believe that it is almost time for you to begin your performance."
"What?" I blurted out, followed by looking at my watch. "I thought I still had about fifteen minutes before then? I thought that there was this whole fake out plan for Discord and everything to get me here and-"
"What we mean," Luna interrupted, "is that we are giving you the time necessary to prepare yourself before thine performance. You sound very unappreciative."
"Well, it's nice and all, but I don't really need to prepare anything... Well, I do, but for me preparation is a snap. Literally."
"Very well then," Celestia said with a smile. "If you feel that you are ready to begin, then we shall begin early for you."
"Wouldn't that break some kind of decorum to go early?"
"Why, not at all. You may head to the stage and prepare while we shall announce that your performance is ready to begin," Celestia said with a sickeningly sweet smile.
"Fine, fine, fine," I said curtly. I followed by turning invisible. "I'll be on stage if you need me."
With that said, I teleported to the main stage to get everything ready. Heh, I laughed a bit internally at how easily these spells came now. I used to be unable to use more than one spell simultaneously unless it was a chaos powered spell. Now that I knew that all my magic was inherently chaotically powered in the first place I simply added a little energy to each one and bam! Work around is achieved.
Coming out of my musing, I took a good look around the stage. It was a decent sized stage; about the same size as one you would find at a small high school. With the instruments and everything I wanted I would have enough room for about 20 people. A little less than I was going to use, but that wouldn't really hamper me in a significant manner. I used my magic to pull the nearby curtains closed and started to change things to suit my needs. Since the place was empty other than the curtain, and not even any lights up above, those changes mostly consisted of me snapping my fingers and moving things around the way I wanted. It took a few minutes to get the look of things just the way I wanted and to conceal them with illusion spells, but I still had a minute to spare before Celestia began speaking.
"Fillies, gentlecolts, and all other honored guests! We welcome you all here at Canterlot Castle for a special musical exhibition to be performed for both your entertainment and to broaden your knowledge of cultural differences between species. Tonight's performance is by a rare species indeed. A species not seen by many in millennia. However, this fine evening one is willing to give you the experience of his musical culture first-... hand. Now, without any more delay, I present you with tonight's entertainer: Seth the human!"
There was a strong rumbling sound soon afterwards. Applause, obviously, but I was still unused to it. The rumbling too I suppose, wakka wakka. Still, I had a show to perform. I may appreciate this spell I cast on myself, but I knew deep down that I couldn't stay like that. With that in mind, I pulled open the curtain to greet my audience.
It was showtime.
Author's Note
If anyone has any suggestions to improve Celestia's speech please let me know. It just feels wonky.
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
All the Classics I Care About
Author's Note
I'm going to put all the songs I'm playing in this chapter up here so you can listen to them at your leisure. They're really nice.
1:Radiant Historia The Machinist Kingdom A Place Where Wind and Feather Return Blue Radiance HISTORIA
All the Classics I Care About
I stared out into the abyss. The abyss of ponies. As I did, the abyss stared back... and I felt nothing. Not fear nor trepidation nor excitement. I just felt... nothing. I looked past them to the ponies that mattered the most to me; the ones I knew. Seeing those girls made me feel once again and let me push forwards.
"Hello all you fine guests! As Celestia just announced, my name is Seth and I'll be performing several songs for you tonight. They will be broken into two sections; a classical style and a non-classical style. However, I will be blending the two in the middle to get you acclimated to the difference. Hopefully you will all be entertained by the selection I have chosen. Now, without further ado, the classical section for the evening."
I waved my hand to my right and a grand piano slowly materialized from the ground up. Three stage lights from above now shone on the sleek black frame. I walked around the edge of the piano and took a seat on the small bench in front of the keys. I rocked my neck from side to side to feel some pops, stretched my arms out in front of me, and placed my fingers on the keys to begin playing.
It was funny to me. I had never actually played the piano before. I mean, sure I dinked around with the keys before, but I never sat down and learned how to play an actual melody on one. Both of my sisters know how to, though, and thanks to all the Christmas get-togethers my mom's side of the family had I could fuse that knowledge into the ability of my magical recall and become able to play it all on my own.
I thought back to that as was playing the first song. My family. Time was really different here so I wouldn't even be missed by the time I got back from this little vacation I was taking. Somehow, I didn't really feel anything other than indifference. I was having a nice time here. It wasn't everything I expected it to be, but things often don't go the same way in your head as they do in real life. It's the little things that throw you off. If you change one note, oftentimes things just don't sound right.
Playing in front of all the ponies felt similar to that. What I mean is that I had to play these songs just right. If I played anything wrong they wouldn't know, but I would. They would remember this as the way it was supposed to be even if I knew that it was wrong. Their perceptions would be different than mine and things would never sync up.
It kind of sounds stupid, but that's what I think anyway. Thoughts don't always lead down a path you can follow. I mean thoughts like 'have you ever wondered just what the fourth flavor of ice cream tastes like?' If you know what I'm talking about then bravo to you. It's just that some things are not going to give you an answer and this is one of those.
Even as I continued on, I realized that I almost didn't even need to concentrate to play the piano correctly despite being concerned at the beginning. Tapping the keys correctly felt like second nature to me. All the times I spent listening to the CD that these piano solos were on while I fell asleep at night had ingrained the notes inside of me. It felt a bit silly that I might mess up something I knew so well.
As I began the second piano song, I decided to use the time to think about just how this memory thing worked. It was really bugging me. I mean, I was parlaying my collective knowledge of the piano and my time listening to a CD into a working piano concert. Despite that, I thought about coming here beforehand and somehow didn't remember that this place was the same location as the Grand Galloping Gala from season one.
"Although I will say that I did give you a bit of a boost when it came to your memory. It will come and go, but it can give you much better clarity for certain events when it does work. "
Oh sure, I can invoke it some of the time. That flashback was word for word what Discord told me through the coin before our chaos duel. The problem is that I don't know just how reliable it is. From how he said it I don't know if I can trust my own memory even if it is magically enhanced in some manner. Would that also mean if I lost my magic that I could have memory lapses or amnesia? Not knowing this can be a serious problem. I should bring it up with him the next time I see him.
In fact, there are a whole slew of things that I needed to talk to him about. I have the basic knowledge of my magic from when we had the crash course in the Everfree Forest, but that was just a few things that we went over; namely a history lesson, a combat lesson, and again the chat about just how chaos magic works in general. While those were helpful I feel that I should get more knowledge of just how to use what I have.
As I continued on, I really didn't realize just how boring sitting there would be. I figured that I would have to concentrate a great deal more during the piano section because it wouldn't be as active and chaotic as the next part. I was sorely mistaken. The amount of effort was nearly trivial. That brought me a seriously dumb problem of what to do up there while I was playing the piano. I was stuck in that section with only my thoughts free to do anything.
I couldn't get anywhere as the third song started playing. Trying to think of something without trying to think of something was a bit of a weird issue. If I were to just drift into my thoughts then I could lose concentration and stop playing. If I concentrate too hard on it then I ran the chance of switching to something else in the middle of the song. It's like if you were thinking of something and then got distracted and thought of something else, but you couldn't remember what the thought before that was anymore. If that doesn't really make any sense, well I don't know what else to tell you.
At that point, I glanced sideways at the crowd. I hadn't heard a peep from them since I had started this entire show. A sea of ponies and other creat- er, beings were watching my performance with a mixture of looks. Gratefully, none of their looks were negative. I count bored as neutral as there were a few that looked that way. Overall, it looked as though I was at least keeping them entertained. If only I could do the same for myself.
I looked down and concentrated more on playing the piano to see if it might help me with my problem. It kind of did. Keeping my eyes focused on the keys as I played felt a bit relaxing. If I had to describe it then I guess it was kind of a small numb or peaceful sensation. A serene state of mind perhaps? Is that what it might have been?
It certainly helped me get into the fourth song without any problems occurring. It was a rather good feeling if I do say so myself. The kind of rare blissful feeling like when you accomplish something really important after giving an extreme amount of effort towards it. Moments like that are generally fleeting and mine was not an exception. I snapped back to my sounds of music and kept playing like I had the whole time. Nothing really changed. Passing time while sitting there was difficult. The fact that I had a bit of a short attention span when I became bored made it worse.
I managed to settle back on just thinking about things about my life. I found a yard full of snakes in Arkansas. I discovered my love of football while in Indiana. I distastefully found out what racism was while in North Carolina. I found myself confused about myself when I hit puberty. My attitude changed when I discovered I had Asperger's Syndrome and I distanced myself from others when I went back to Kansas after my parent's divorce. Then, I went to college and my Pepsi habit went uncontrolled causing my diabetes that went undiagnosed for years-
Ah crap. My eyes started to water right then. That was not what I needed to happen. I may have shut off the part of my brain that kept me from being nervous, but that didn't stop any of my other feelings from coming out at any time they wished to. Thinking of those events made me understand why I wanted to go to Equestria in the first place. There wasn't a history of bad things that I had associated with Equestria as opposed to Earth. Both good and bad things happened to me while I was there, but my negative attitude had made me focus on the negative things only. As such, I was only too eager to come to Equestria when the opportunity presented itself in the form of Discord.
I took the time between the fourth and fifth songs to adjust my glasses and wipe at my eyes. The show must go on, after all. I could tough out another few minutes without getting all weepy eyed about stupid things. It's what I do. Besides, after this is done with I can get up and get more active with my next set of songs. That will definitely be more fun. If I have to do something like this again then I'll really have to take this into account. I could pretend to put sheet music down, but actually put a monitor in front of me with an episode of Dragonball on it; or a comic book, or something else to entertain me as I entertain others.
I put thoughts to actions as I kept playing the last song on the piano for that section. I certainly did love these songs. I especially loved the game that they were based off of. Perhaps that was what I should have been doing up here the whole time. Thinking back, Radiant Historia was an excellent game. It was kind of like Chrono Trigger where you bounced around your timelines and tried to save the world. Combat was clever where your position on the battlefield was important and your ability to control your opponent's position was equally important if not more so. It had several endings to it and I kept trying to figure out how to unlock the true ending for several months. Worth it.
I snapped back to my piano playing. I had about a minute or so to go before the next group. That would be more fun in my eyes. The piano, when played by itself, is melodic, but not really something that can sustain attention by itself in most instances. The songs I played were more upbeat on the last two. Overall, though, they only took me so far as a musical accoutrement went. Well, maybe accoutrement isn't the right word. Companion sounds more accurate. A piano should compliment a song and not just be the entire focus; at least for energetic songs anyway.
Ah, there we go. The last few notes flowed through my hands and I rested my fingers on the lisp in front of the keys for a few moments. I then stood up, turned to the audience, and took a bow. The response I got was a nice stomping of hooves from those in attendance. It sounded more polite from most, but there were several places that seemed more enthusiastic in their efforts. I guess that was fine. It felt like I hadn't really done anything yet anyway.
The next section would be a bit different.
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
Oh, I've Got the Music in Me Alright
"Muchos gracias as some of my people would say. It means 'many thanks to you all'. Now, without any delays, I present to you all the latter act of my musical presentation for the evening. The non-classical section. I'll ease you into it with the first song and from there it will expand in a way that I hope you all enjoy."
A half turn to my left and a wave of my hand signaled for some of my illusions to drop. In the empty space further inside the stage was now a group of twenty five identical copies of myself with various instruments in their hands. Some murmurs went through the crowd at the sight of this and I guess I couldn't blame them. I even had one sitting at the piano were I was sitting before. Most of the instruments were familiar to the ponies present since they were orchestral in nature. However, I had a couple of them holding onto electric guitars and two sitting in a sound booth for special sound effects. With everything in place, I actually stepped to stage right, which if don't know is the left by the audience's viewpoint, and let them play my first selection.
The piano intro was spot on with how I wanted things to start. It was when the violins, drums, and electric audio kicked in that changed the mood in the air. It was a beautiful mixing of several different audio styles that sounded wonderful to my ears. The audience wasn't sure what to think when that started, but it looked as though very few of them started to talk with the music increased in volume. I took that as a plus.
Since there weren't any lyrics to this song, I took the time to see if I could gauge the reactions of the audience to see if I needed to make any changes. I had several songs on the list and Twilight insisted that I have several backup songs to use in case they didn't like what they were hearing. I relented on that very quickly since that made sense. Not everyone likes the same genre of music. I prefer rock to most other forms, but I will generally listen to most forms of music. My exception to this is country music. It just sounds so bland. I also have a tough time listening to dubstep, but if I zone out I can bear it.
The audience didn't seem to mind the song too much from what I could see from the stage. I guess I didn't need to change the songs around too much. I decided to just swap the second and third songs around. Keeping up the positive vibe would be helpful before I got heavier with the music. The heavier forms of rock would probably not go over well, but I could test that out as I kept these going.
I took a another look back at my own occurring performance. Everything seemed to be going according to plan. None of the illusions seemed transparent or out of sync. They all looked like they were supposed to. The guy on drums especially looked like he was having a good time. I really liked how my mentality went into these illusions. It helped to bring out the flair that I needed for them to be convincing.
I zoned out a bit myself since before I knew it the song came to an end. I walked back to the center of the stage and with a twirl of my hand a microphone appeared in it. It was time for the next song. I think that they will like it. I certainly hoped that they would like it.
Again the piano started things off. Sixteen notes that were followed by drums and guitar playing leading into the vocals for the song. Two fun facts about this song; I was at the taping for it and appear in the official video for a microsecond and the other was that the very night I went to bed afterwards was when Discord and I met. I suppose this song has a lot of personal history for me. Oh well, time to sing.
"I found a note with your name and a picture of us,
The lights above the stage began to shine on the audience as I continued.
"They say it's never too late to stop being afraid,
"So have you ever been caught in a sea of despair?" I sang and pointed at the audience.
"And your moment of truth is the day that you say 'I'm not scared!'"
"Put your hooves in the air if you hear me out there," I said while doing the same.
"If I told you that you're not alone,
A quick breather to take a look and it seemed that my song was going over well. My edit to the song for ponies didn't seem to matter as everyone seemed to listen and put a hoof in the air as I had asked in song. This was going better than I had hoped.
"I've seen a million miles, met a million faces,
"So have you ever been caught in a sea of despair?
"Put your hooves in the air if you hear me out there,
"If I told you that you're not alone,
Oh fuck yeah was I feeling this way more than the piano solos. Not quite as much as the copy of me playing the guitar was though. He took a few steps forward and got down on one knee while playing his heart out. The guitar playing came to a climax with him arching his back and raising the guitar over his head as he played the long note at the end. The song itself wasn't quite done yet, though. I had to love the boost I was getting with magic as well. Almost any time I sing I can't get through it without yawning. That wasn't happening here. It wasn't happening to the copies on back up vocals either, but there copies after all so they shouldn't have that happen in the first place.
Whoops. Time to continue.
"Put you hands in the air!!!
"Put your hands in the air if you hear me out there,
"If I told you that you're not alone,
As the music faded out, I had the lights dim at the same time. A stomping of hooves echoed throughout the hall. I was pretty happy that they liked it. Of course, it may have just been the contents of the song. Well, yeah, I guess that's more obvious than it should have been stated. Still, next was the third song. This one was the one Pinkie has suggested I play for them. I had played this before at a party in Ponyville and I liked it well enough so I went with it. With the stomping dying down, two of the copies approached from either side and spoke into my mic alongside myself to begin the next song.
"When it's time to party we will party hard."
Yeah, that certainly gave everyone a new look on their faces. The lights blaring and the instruments kicking into a strong beat definitely changed the mood. At that point, I switched everything to my memory of the music video I had watched for this song and decided to just mimic it to them. Even the backdrop behind me changed to what I was thinking. Well, except for Andrew W.K. with a bloody nose. I put up a picture of the old style Elements of Harmony from the picture book. Much better in this instance.
"Hey!"
Honestly, I was having a tough time seeing the audience at that point. I was too busy jumping and bouncing my head to the music. I had achieved what I wanted to do in the first place. I became absorbed in the music and ignored the crowd. Normally that's a bad thing when you are performing a stage show because audience participation is crucial to your success. This was different since no one knew the lyrics right then. I'd probably switch that up later when they knew what to say.
"You!
"Cause we will never listen to your rules, No!
"So let's get a party going, let's get a party going,
"Party hard! Party hard! Party hard! Party hard!
"Party hard! Party hard! Party hard! Party hard!
Hell yeah! I was feeling it as the music interlude continued. This song was just as entertaining as the first time I heard it from Madden '03. Coincidentally, that was last time I was any good at Madden NFL. Still, that was not important right then. I still had over half a song to go.
"Hey! Hey! Hey!
"Alright! You!
"Cause we will never listen to your rules, No!
"So let's get a party going, let's get a party going,
"Party hard! Party hard! Party hard! Party hard!
"Party hard! Party hard! Party hard! Party hard!
"Party hard! Party hard! Hey!
"Party hard! Party hard! Hey!
"PARTY HARD!!!"
I honestly had never felt so lively as I did right then. I felt really energized by the music. The audience reaction was mixed, though. I had some ponies applauding the performance while others just gave a skeptical look of my actions on stage. It was at that point that I was incredibly grateful for the little spell I had done to myself. Seeing those scrutinizing looks on the less than entertained ponies would have made regular me a gibbering puddle of a man. The me on magical suppressants couldn't afford to give a fuck. Instead, I just moved on.
"Thank you very much everyone for listening to my performance so far! I bet you all have somewhere to be so I'll wrap things up with one last song. It's my favorite song of all so I hope you don't mind if I sing it once to a wonderful audience. Play us out maestro."
And play he did. He being a copy of me knew what I wanted to hear. 'Click, Click, Boom' by Saliva. I threw down that song instead of my original fourth since it always made me feel upbeat whenever and wherever I heard it, no matter what. Letting these ponies hear it was as much as a gift to myself as it was to them. A wave of my hand made the lights dance in several different colors all over the place and a couple of them also ended up strobing at a medium pace.
"Come on, come on!
I started grinning widely in anticipation. I was going to go out with a bang and I was going to love every minute of it.
"On those Saturdays when kids go out and play,
"All this, I seek, I find, I push the envelope to the line,
"Click, click, boom!
"Click, click, boom!
"Click, click, boom!
"I can see it in my mind,
I added a few bursts of flame on the sides of the stage as I drew out the last line. It was just visual and not real flames, but the effect was still good enough to catch some ponies off guard.
"What the hell is wrong with me?
"So just sit back and relax and let me have your head for a minute,
"Click, click, boom!
"Click, click, boom!
"Click, click, boom!
"Why have I clouded up my mind?
"Click, click, boom,
"Click, click, boom,
"All those Saturdays when kids go out and play,
"It's all inside of me, it's all inside of me,
"Click, click, boom!
"Click, click, boom!
"Come on, come on, everybody come on,
"Come on, come on, everybody come on,
"Come on, come on, everybody come on,
"Come on, come on, everybody come on,
"Click, click, boom!"
That was fucking awesome! And to get that point across to my audience, I literally put on an illusion that the entire stage exploded right in front of them as I raised both hands in the air on the last word of the song. I stood there amongst the fake flames of my illusion for a few seconds before I teleported to where I glanced up and saw where the three princesses I was after in attendance were. I ended up right behind the three of them, created three frat sized wooden paddles, and proceeded to telekinetically smack them on their hindquarters. All three of them reared on their hind legs with a shriek and I proceeded to bust up laughing.
"I told you I'd get you back!" I exclaimed between laughs.
As I received glares from the three of them and from the group I came with that showed up behind them, I took my glasses off, created a pair of sunglasses, and slid them onto my face.
"Boom baby."
Author's Note
For the record, the first part of the fun facts for Unity by Shinedown is true. I do appear in the official video for a microsecond as it was taped at Rockfest in 2012. The me in this story found out about it after he returned home just in case anyone was worried that it was a plot hole.
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
Winter- I Mean Plot is Coming
Three days.
Three days had passed since the Canterlot Hall incident. There wasn't too much of a fallout for everyone involved. There was only a small panic when my fake explosion went off and no one was injured at all. In fact, the only thing that occurred was that someone had found Prince Bluebaby unconscious. Despite that, no one who knew me before that night was too happy about that last little stunt with maybe the exception of Spike and Pinkie Pie. Part of that would be because Spike blabbed about the mind magic I did to myself. Nobody was happy to hear that.
That would lead me to why I'm here now. It was one of the several things I had to do as punishment. The first was turning off what I had done to myself. The next part was issuing an apology to all the ponies present. The eyes. The horrible, staring, abyss of eyes. The only way I believe I was able to make it through was by bowing during my apology so I didn't have to look at anyone directly. The last part of my punishment was basically house arrest. That kind of thing wouldn't bother me too much if it wasn't for the fact that I couldn't mess with any of the entertainment devices that were around the place. That meant no Xbox, no DS, and no conjuring anything else that I could use like that. It was basically a white collar prison. No entertainment, but with comfortable living conditions.
The only time I was allowed out was to have training sessions with Discord on how to use my chaos magic 'properly'. I say it like that because I'm not entirely sure that he was using it the proper way either. I did get some interesting notes about how it works and I also figured out how to hover slightly. It kind of sucks though because I still couldn't stay stable. I thought it was like when I had my duel with Discord way back when, but I found out that I was actually brute-forcing myself to stay aloft. I showed him via magic television of the time Twilight did the same thing in the season three debut and just told me that it was the same thing only she had more finesse than I did with it.
Well, anyway, there was one more thing that I was actually angry about from these punishments. Celestia had told me that I couldn't create any Pepsi to drink. I think I was more upset about that than anything else. I took the rest of those probationary issue in stride, even the entertainment one, but when I heard that I couldn't have Pepsi I had to physically restrain myself from cursing at her in front of everyone. She knew just what to do to make sure I understood that I shouldn't have done something to cause a panic. Not being happy about that was an understatement. I told her I'd do it and then teleported myself back to the cabin. I then proceeded to throw a bit of a childish tantrum and crashed on the couch for the night instead of heading to my bedroom.
That's pretty much where I've been the whole three days other than on those excursions to the Everfree. I'd been in a less than stellar mood since then. The mind-cracking headache I had coming off of the caffeine was not fun either. All the while during that time I tried doing something new that I'd wanted to try out. I sat on the couch in a lotus position and tried meditating. Have you ever tried it before? Well, with someone who has a less than ideal attention span thanks to ADHD it's a bit of a tough go. Meditation requires clearing your mind of all thoughts and sitting still to let yourself be calm from what I remember. The part about my thoughts isn't as hard as I thought it would be, but every time I managed it my body would fidget in it's stead. It was nigh impossible when I had that headache for several hours, but afterwards it wasn't as much so.
"Still trying out that ridiculous little exercise of yours?" teased Discord.
I cracked open an eye to look at Discord relaxing on one of the chairs in the room. He was merely sitting there with the chair reclined and his tail hanging slightly over the edge of the foot rest with his eyes resting on me.
"Well, while we both know chaos can be fun-"
"Preach on my student!"
"-Even we could use a moment to relax and get our mind together for coming up with new things."
"And is there a reason that you have this orange color around your eyes and the pupils of a frog?"
"It's just an illusion for the fun of it. Have you not seen Naruto before?"
"I've heard of it of course. I tend to try and stay away from Japan. They're kind of weird there."
"...I think I'm going to file that one away for later."
Discord simply gave a small snort and just sat there watching me watch him. This was broken up not too long afterwards by the most interesting sound. It's hard to describe, but anyone who knows it they can only think one thing.
"Holy shit. Is that what I think it is?"
"I don't have any idea," Discord stated. "What is that? It's like a screeching sound on a dimensional plane."
"I give no fucks about whatever your saying right now," I said as I jumped to my feet. "Cool things are happening instead."
I jogged over from the couch to the front door and opened it up to see if I was merely hallucinating. I was not. Sitting out on the front yard was a blue police box. A very familiar blue police box. I immediately ran over to it and hugged a corner of it in glee.
"This. Is. So. AWESOME!!!"
"No," I heard a voice cut in, "what's going on is not awesome."
I let go of the box and one of the doors swung open. From inside of it came a caramel colored pony wearing a necktie. His cutie mark signaled to me who this was just as easily as anything else I saw could. He had an hourglass on his flank. He was the Doctor.
"Hey, what's up Doc?"
I heard a smack both in front of and behind me. I only saw the Doctor's hoof meet his face though. I'm pretty sure Discord did the same thing, but I don't know why.
"Americans," I heard him say.
"Oh like that is common thing for you to hear," I countered. "How many ponies would you know who would get that reference anyway?"
"Pinkie Pie," he stated flatly.
"Touche. Well, would you like to come in for a spell? I assume you're here to either tell me some horrible news or a visit to check up on an oddity you need to investigate. I hope for the latter."
"Yes, well, both I'm afraid. Am I still welcome?"
"Pfft. You've saved Earth enough times to be one of the few people I trust unconditionally. Come on in."
I watched as the Doctor walked inside. I was playing host to the Doctor! Squee!
"Don't I get a say in the matter?"
"Discord, this guy is a walking chaos magnet. His IQ is immeasurable. He's defeated guys with nothing but a tool that emits sound and his brain so I think that he has earned the right to have a spot of tea if he wants."
"Well when you put it that way..." Discord trailed off.
Discord vanished in a spark of light and I walked back into the house. The Doctor had taken a spot on the couch to let his legs lay out. Discord had taken his spot back on the chair where he was originally. I grabbed a seat on the remaining recliner and crossed my legs in anticipation.
"Well, uh, you said some things that were sounding like they wouldn't be too good for my future, but that's no reason not to be a courteous host. Care for something to eat or drink?"
"I suppose a spot of tea would be nice."
I was about to oblige him when Discord beat me to it. Of course, he took it literally as a sphere of tea appeared in the middle of the room before hitting the floor. I rolled my eyes, snapped my fingers, and watched the spot come off of the floor and turn into a proper cup of tea. I then hovered it over to the Doctor.
"Discord, could you just get the Element bearers here since there's no way that this would not involve them? And by get them, I mean actually go to get them and not just flash teleport them all here," I said dryly.
"Hmph! I'm not your errand boy! Go get them yourself," he stated and disappeared in a flash.
Also when he disappeared, a bucketful of water crashed down on myself and on the Doctor. I was not happy. Thankfully, chaos magic is very versatile. Not enough to instantly get the two of us dry, but enough to create some towels and a giant blow-dryer to get us dry quicker. I used the time to ask about what he was here about.
"I'm afraid I have some news that you won't like very much. It's about your venture in the countryside last year."
"Huh. I guess I should have figured that would be the reason. I'm not sure why I thought it might be something else."
"Yes, well, it really is only partially your fault."
"No shit, Sherlock."
He gave me quite the displeased look upon hearing that.
"...Sorry. That wasn't really called for."
"I suppose it's alright. Anyway-"
We were then suddenly interrupted by a quiet knock on the door.
"*sigh* Sorry, but could you give me a moment?"
"What? Oh! Right, yes, of course."
I got back up out of the chair and went to see who it was. The picture on the door let me know that it was Fluttershy waiting on me there. It was a bit of a surprise since she's been pretty much avoiding me since I came back, but this was a welcome surprise to me. I opened the door to greet her and- Oh my goodness she let out and absolutely adorable squeak! She quickly settled into her normal pattern of hiding behind her mane and looking away.
"Oh, um, hello Seth. Am I disturbing you?"
"Of course not. Friends come first and then possible world-ending emergencies."
"World-ending emergencies?" she yelped.
"Indeed!" the Doctor interrupted. "It's quite a bit of nasty business that he left unfinished when he was last here three months ago."
"Wait, three months?" I said while whirling on him.
"Um, who is this?"
I whirled back to look at Fluttershy.
"I think I've seen him around Ponyville before, but I don't know him that well."
"Fluttershy, vou've-"
"Not really been left a good impression by me if you don't know who I am. I'm the Doctor."
He must have gotten too close to Fluttershy because she then backed up a few steps and her face became almost completely behind her mane. It was cute and adorable but also a bit sad at the same time. It actually made my eyes water a little.
"I'm Fluttershy," she said squeakily.
"Um, what?"
"It's alright," I said and placed my hand on top of Fluttershy's head eliciting a small 'meep' from her. "I can help. Doctor, this is Fluttershy; the bearer of the Element of Kindness and the best zoologist I've ever known."
She gave a small smile and a blush at the praiseful introduction.
"Fluttershy, this is the Doctor; super-genius Time Lord and protector of Earth."
"Hello!" he stated with a friendly wave.
"Now then, can we get back to the three months' thing? I was gone a year. Celestia even said it had been a year. It couldn't have been three months."
Yeah, that whole didn't make any sense to me. Celestia said that it was about a year since they had last seen me. How could it be three months according to the Doctor, but a year for Celestia? Of course, there was also the other problem that was swimming around in my head that I hadn't thought about either. Since I was told that it had been a year, I had accepted it as such. However, when I was here last I had been in Equestria for a couple of weeks. When I went home, only five minutes had passed. By those numbers a whole generation of Equestria should have been born, lived long lives, grew old, and passed on before I returned here.
"I'm not sure what Celestia was thinking because it has only been three months."
"But, even so, what about-"
"You're probably going to say something along the lines of standard linear progression and how time moves forward at a set pace," he said cutting me off.
"Yeah. Although, I do know that some factors like gravity can distort time to some degree."
"That is correct. However, there are only two important factors that are highly relevant to the problem here. The first is that the sun and moon are controlled by the princesses here. Therefore, the gravitational forces that are exerted by the sun, the moon and this planet are in a constant state of flux. That day when the sun and the moon were moving all over the place certainly was not kind to the state of things."
"Yeah. Things must have been pretty wibbly wobbly at the time," I said with a smirk.
"What? That just sounds silly."
"Huh? Oh, right. You're next incarnation said that more often."
"Hmm, yes. I see. Well, the other, more important factor is that a dimensional bridge does not have a consistently fixed point between them. Both sides have progression along their respective time axises, but the amount of progression is not necessarily constant. Like I said before there are several factors that can change the amount of the progression of time. Gravity is merely the easiest one to observe as it is everywhere in the universe."
"What about the zero-G environment of space?"
"There is no true zero gravity environment. Microgravity exists in all of space at minimum."
I waited for him to explain a bit more, but it didn't come.
"Is the rest of that too complicated for me to understand?"
"You can be clever sometimes I see."
"A bit of a backhanded compliment, but I'll take it. Anyway," I said and turned back towards Fluttershy, "you asked-"
I stopped as I noticed Fluttershy wasn't at my doorstep anymore. Instead, she had partially hidden herself behind the nearby TARDIS. Heh. Her posture and position remind me of Dragonshy when she was at the mouth of the cave but didn't want to go in.
"Well, I doubt that you came by my place for some casual conversation. Even if I would like to know a bit more about you. Is there something you needed my help with?"
"Um, well, I was hoping that you could come with me to the Everfree Forest? Um, if you don't mind that is," she finished even more meekly than before.
"I... can."
"You can?" she asked hopefully.
"Well yeah. The place is getting less scary every time I go in there. Plus you wouldn't have asked me if someone else wasn't available already."
"Thank you so much!" she yelled quietly; which I didn't even know was a thing.
"Wait, what about the crisis out in the plains of Appleoosa?" the Doctor questioned to us.
"Is it time sensitive to now?"
"Well, no not yet."
"Then I can take the time to run a quick errand with Fluttershy into the Everfree Forest," I countered. "In the meantime, you could make sure that everyone is rounded up and ready to go when the two of us get back."
I was a little surprised when the Doctor walked by and started down the trail to town. I didn't really expect him to listen to me. I vaguely heard him mutter something about the last of the Time Lords and a trip to the moon for something, but I couldn't make anything else out.
"So what is it that you need me for Fluttershy?"
"Oh! I just needed somebody to escort me while I go to see Manny."
"Who's Manny?"
"The manticore of course!"
I'm pretty sure I facepalmed so hard that there was a sonic boom.
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
This was kind of weird. I was just standing there in the Everfree Forest while standing face to face with a manticore about two feet away from me. It wasn't growling at me. It wasn't creeping towards me. It was lying on it's belly while smiling. Smiling! What was weirder was that I was smiling back without being afraid at all.
"I'd walk over and ruffle your mane, but I think we've got a good thing going right here and now."
Manny gave me a meow/purr thing that sounded like he was agreeing with me. This right there was the kind of thing I was thinking that would be what I might be doing when I came here the second time around. Facing down strange creatures wasn't quite like this, though, but I'd take it anyway. It kept me from be bored, anyway.
The whole reason we had to go into the forest was pretty simple. Manny the manticore had hurt his wing in some manner and Fluttershy was the only one that would treat him anywhere. He couldn't walk to her cottage, though, because it might create a panic if he left the forest in the wrong area. The reason for that was the fact that he didn't know the way there and almost all the animals in the Everfree gave him a wide berth so he couldn't ask for directions.
Anyway, the trip in was completely uneventful. It was sort of an odd coincidence that we ended up in the same field where Discord and I usually worked on my magic, but I chalked that up to there being very few safe and clear spots in the forest. Fluttershy was still a bit spooked by the forest, though that could just as easily have been me making things worse. All this time and I still hadn't seemed to make any headway with her. Or maybe I was just misreading things? I'll admit, I'm good at reading things on screen, but my skills in real life can be pathetically bad at times; not all the time, just sometimes.
"How do things look Fluttershy? Is this going to require a round trip?"
"Oh no, it's not too serious. Just a small fracture. I can patch that up right here and we can head back."
"Sounds good. Ya hear that Manny?"
Manny responded by rolling his eyes at me.
"Alright, it was a stupid question. I've just never talked to a manticore before. Hell, I've never- well, I guess when I was training with Discord that first time he had a manticore attack me, but that really doesn't count I think."
"Discord sent a manticore after you?" Fluttershy asked with some concern.
"Yeah, he did. Don't worry, I didn't hurt the manticore at all. I turned it into a kitten actually."
I received differing looks from both of them. A small, gentle look with a smile was given by Fluttershy. Manny just gave me a look that was part confusion and part 'are you kidding me?' It was pretty weird to say the least.
"It's in the past and I don't think anyone is holding a grudge."
A snort from Manny and things went silent again. God it was just really hard for me to talk to Fluttershy. She's shy and I just don't have any topics to talk about other than animals. Every time I chat with her it's either awkward silence or one sided talking fests on my end that just don't seem to head anywhere.
"Fluttershy?"
"Um, yes?"
"Why do we have such hard time talking with each other?"
Fluttershy looked up from where she was working on Manny to look at me. It was only for a moment as she quickly lowered her head again and hid behind her mane.
"I mean," I continued, "whenever I talk with anyone else around here, they'll at least engage me in conversation. I feel like when talk to you I'm just talking at you."
I squatted down next to her to meet her at her eye level. If she hadn't lowered her head it would've been off a bit, but then I wouldn't have needed to anyway.
"I mean, I told you this already but you're the being I identify with the most here. I'm usually introverted and hate when I have the attention of lots of people. Don't you remember when I had to give that public apology to Ponyville?"
"I wasn't there for that."
"Oh, well... um, I don't really think I have a good example other than that. At least nothing you would have seen."
I let out a sigh and tried to collect myself again.
"I just- I guess I just feel like I'm not doing a good job at being a good person with you or... whatever."
Yeah that came out eloquently. Fluttershy simply looked back to Manny.
"Manny, I've finished wrapping up your wing. Now don't go moving it around too much for the next few weeks or it might get worse. Okay?"
Manny made a growl that I'm sure was an affirmation. Then he gave me a quick glare before walking off into the forest. I was a little put off by it because I really hadn't done anything to get that treatment. In the end, I just had to let it slide since I could do anything about it.
"Ready to head back Fluttershy?"
"Yes. Let's go."
"You know, I could teleport us back if you would prefer so that you don't have to walk back through the forest."
"Well, that Doctor pony did seem like he needed to tell you something important. So I guess it's okay."
"The Doctor may need me for something, but I set my own schedule. Which do you want to do?"
I placed my hand on the top of her head to give her some assurance but when I did I felt her shiver and recoil slightly. I'd have to be an idiot to not notice this. I mentally sighed at seeing and feeling this. I didn't want to spring my issue on her like this, but I had to do this sometime and I would rather do it now so it wouldn't come up during some crucial moment to come. After all, knowing that this was a reality that was on television meant that the chances of that happening were significantly higher.
"Fluttershy, is everything okay? I feel like there's something coming between us that's more significant than just the usual shyness."
"N-no, there's nothing really," she said looking away.
I gently put my hand on her cheek and guided it back so that she was looking at me face to face. I also put my other hand on her other cheek so she didn't just look the other way.
"Please don't say that. There's something palpable here between us and I want to fix that. It can't just be my size because that manticore was bigger than I was and I've seen you talk down bears before that were being actively aggressive. I also know it isn't because of my chaotic nature because you're friends with Discord. There is something specific about me that is bringing this on. Please... please talk to me about it."
I actually started tearing up a bit because I had made myself a bit sad saying all of that. I didn't feel guilty about it until later when I realized that it might have made her feel bad too.
"I, um, I have a tough time trusting you," she half-whispered to me.
"You don't trust me?" I blinked.
"Um, not-not completely?" she finished lamely.
"Wow. That's... actually not a bad reason at all."
"It's not?"
"Fluttershy, when I first came here I made up a lie on the spot that I didn't know any of you. I did it because I was concerned what knowing about your lives being semi-televised would do to you all. Especially you. I mean, I've been messing around with magic without any education on the subject and that can't be very reassuring for any ponies to be trusting of me. People can end up using deception as a tool and keep using it until well after it breaks. It's not something that we are necessarily proud of, but it's something we use often enough that it just comes easier to do than not sometimes. Lying can help and lying can hurt. It's all in how you use it. I won't say that I won't lie again, but I won't ever try to hurt you or anyone else I care about by lying. Of that, I can assure you."
We both stared at each other for a bit before Fluttershy gave me a smile.
"That's really all I can ask for I guess."
"Alright, now let's go back and see what's troubling the Doctor."
"We can teleport back to your place to see if he's there."
"You're fine with teleporting?"
"I think I am for right now."
"Okay. Let's go!"
That said, we teleported right into the living room of the cabin. I then stood up and led her out of the house. Waiting outside for us was the Doctor and the rest of the Justice League- I mean Main Six.
"It's about time you got back," Rainbow Dash huffed.
"Just helping someone in the Everfree. Now that we're done with that, we can attend to whatever the Doctor is here for."
"I'm afraid it's nothing good. We need to head to Appleloosa as quickly as possible."
"What for?" asked Twilight.
"The spacial tears are reopening. If they get too big then Equestria and those other worlds will likely be ripped asunder."
Everyone let out a gasp at the news. Well, I made more of an 'ugh' sound. It was still indicative of what I thought about the issue.
"I try to get out, but they just keep pulling me back in," I blurt out. "So, just what are we going to be doing about this?"
"Well, the energy being emitted from the tears are affecting the area to an extent that I must unfortunately leave the TARDIS here."
"No kidding. I've seen what happens if it blows up."
"Really?" he asked very inquisitively. "Does that mean that someone destroys my TARDIS?"
"It did but it wasn't a fixed event so it got better."
"Interesting."
"Hello!?!' yelled Rainbow Dash. "Both of you eggheads are getting off track! We've gotta save Equestria remember?"
"Rainbow Dash is right," Twilight said while getting our attention with a stomp. "Let's all head to the train station as quickly as possible."
"Aw man, not the train again," I grumbled out loud.
"What's wrong with the train?" Rarity asked. "It's easily the fastest and most luxurious way to travel to our destination."
"It's great for you because you can fit inside it without feeling cramped."
"Well there ain't no other way tah get there so yer just gonna hafta buck up and get it over with."
I was going to listen to her, but I had a nice little epiphany.
"Or, I could choose to ride in style."
With a snap of my fingers, I managed to teleport us all to the train station. Before anyone could recover from the impromptu change, I snapped my fingers again. There was a large flash of light and after it dissipated everyone was quite confused at what they saw. It was a 1970 Plymouth Barricuda ; the same car that was used in the series 'Nash Bridges'. I was going to make a Mustang convertible to be a bit of a gag, but I felt that this would be more appropriate.
"Now this is how I'm going to head there."
"What is that?" asked Twilight.
"This is a car. A more personal type of transportation device. It's a lot like a wagon only with machinery providing the force to make it move, similar to how the train goes, but more compact and quite a bit faster."
"How fast does it go?" asked Rainbow Dash.
"It can top out at over 150 miles per hour."
"That's pretty good. Can I go with you then? I wanna feel the wind in my mane when I'm traveling."
"Well, I really don't think it's designed with a pony in mind and I really don't like anyone riding in this without a seat belt on which wouldn't fit you right now."
"Well you could just turn me into a human for the ride there. That would work."
That kind of left me speechless for a bit.
"Well? We don't have all day," she said impatiently.
"This doesn't make much sense to me, but you know what? We'll just discuss it on the way there."
I concentrated a bit and snapped my fingers. A flash of light later and Rainbow Dash was now fully human. There wasn't even the wings there from when I did that by accident last time though she still had rainbow colored hair going halfway down her back. Also unlike last time, I had her clothed from the start. I didn't want to get in trouble for that again either. She was wearing a white t-shirt with a light blue hemline around the edges and her cutie mark displayed in the middle of her chest. She was also wearing some snug blue jeans and a pair of black athletic sneakers.
"Alright! This is- Hey! Where are my wings?"
"You won't need them anyway and they would just be really uncomfortable while sitting in there."
She touched at where her wings would likely be and nodded with a grunt.
"Leeeeet's just get going," I drolled out. "I'd rather not have anything happening while we're on our way there."
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
This was definitely the most interesting time that I've had since I came back- no, in the entire time I've been in Equestria. I've been driving down this old dirt path that used to be a settler's trail with one hand on the wheel and the other hand on Rainbow Dash's head as it bounced up and down in my lap. Now, this situation is really complicated and needs to be expanded upon to make any kind of sense so I might as well elaborate on why it's happening.
It began a bit like this:
"You know, I was expecting this wagon to go a bit faster."
"Yeah, well I'm not going as fast as it can go yet. This path is a bit too uneven to go faster on. I'd wreck the thing and we'd definitely get hurt."
"I guess you're right, but we should get a nicer stretch soon."
"How do you know that?"
"I have to be really aware of my surroundings when I fly. I can't consider myself as an awesome flyer if I just started crashing into things all the time."
"Very true."
It was funny. I didn't really think I would have much of a conversation with Rainbow Dash while we drove to Appleloosa. I drove for about five miles before she got bored. After that happened, she got a bit chatty about the car itself. I didn't know very much about it so I attempted to talk about the show it was from, but she wasn't really interested. Instead of trying to continue to bark up that tree I decided to ask her about the Wonderbolts. It worked and she ended up talking about them for fifty-six minutes. I clocked it because I felt like that might happen when I brought it up.
During that little information dump we drove through a path in the woods and continued on to a path clear of any real surroundings. I was still being careful because while I didn't have any obstructing twists and turns anymore I had to look out for these little rocks that looked like gravel spaced out a bit on it. As a driver, I know not to speed down a gravel road. I once almost rear-ended a trailer because I couldn't stop and another time I started to fishtail without any warning at all. The second taught me more than the first, but they were both valuable lessons.
A couple of minutes went by as she said they would and the road leveled out more evenly. Accordingly, I sped up the car some and soon we were going about a hundred and ten miles per hour. Right on cue, her mood brightened up considerably even thought the terrain slowly shifted to the recognizable one of the arid plains.
"This is a lot better. I can definitely feel the wind blowing through my mane just like it does when I'm flying."
"I'm glad you like it. I was starting to think you wouldn't be cheery at all."
"You know, there's another reason I wanted to come with you in the car."
"Really? What?"
"I wanted to talk about something with you."
"You could've come by anytime you wanted to talk."
"No I couldn't. I needed to talk to you... alone."
"Why would you-" was about as far as I got before I glanced over to Rainbow Dash before I shut up and did a double take. She had her hands cupped in her lap while twiddling her thumbs. Her face showed that her eyes were looking straight down and... a strong blush on her cheeks? My head snapped right back to the road. What the hell was going on? The only time you see that kind of scene is when a character is really nervous about something. And she wanted to talk to me alone? Too many warning flags were popping up right there.
"Oooookay?"
"I-I don't know how to say this... but... IthinkIreallylikeyou!"
"..."
"..."
"...Is that you Discord?"
"What NO!"
"I was just checking!"
"This is really hard for me to say! I don't know how or why or when but at some point I started looking at you and I just felt... a connection. Like you were someone I wanted to be around. It was like how I felt with my friends but... somehow more. Now, with just the two of us out here and nopony else, I just feel like you and me, together, it just feels right."
"I... fe-... di-... I..."
I had no words. How the hell does a person respond to that? Especially when it makes no fucking logical sense! This was Rainbow Dash! She didn't do demure. Hell, I was pretty sure she was into Soarin' despite the fact that it was merely fanon conjecture. How she could find me , who was out of shape and an entirely different species, as an acceptable catch made no sense whatsoever.
I was broken out of my confused stupor when I felt her hand on the back of my neck. I spared another glance over towards her and noticed that she had leaned over from her seat, after taking off her seat belt, and had gotten less than a foot away from my face. Her eyes were staring straight at me with almost a forlorn look in them.
"When there's something I want I go for it whether it's the Wonderbolts or some clueless guy who can't seem to make a move."
"You, uh, really ought to be wearing your seat belt."
Oh my God that was lame.
"Forget about the seat belt," she said as she leaned in closer. "Let's focus on this."
'This' ended up with her giving me a peck on the cheek. At that point, blood was starting to rush to my head as I could feel my heart beating faster. It was getting harder to think as my face heated up.
"I don't have to be Applejack to know how honest your face is being right now."
Even through that haze I could hear how sultry her voice was. My thoughts were shutting down even faster than the time with Twilight. I did want her to stop. There was something wrong going on there that I was still trying to figure out before either Dash or myself ended up doing something that at least one of us would regret. Unfortunately, I was stuck like a deer caught in headlights as she leaned over further across my field of vision and began to kiss me deeply.
It was really odd. Her tongue was darting all over as I just continued to do nothing. My brain was almost completely shutting down as she was draping herself over me. All I could see were bright flecks of light dancing in my eyes and the rainbow colors of her hair.
Her hair.
In all the haziness it was the one thing I was able to latch onto. I focused intently on her unique hair. It was mostly because of one key point. The color had dulled significantly. I only had one thought as I felt her move from her seat and straddle me in mine. Discording a pony dulls their colors.
As she tried to pull her shirt off, I grabbed it right before anything but her midriff was exposed.
"What are you doing?"
"Dash, I think you may have been tricked into doing this."
"No I haven't!"
"Dash I won't lie and say that it would be wonderful if you really felt that way about me. I would love it if any woman felt that way about me. It just isn't real."
"It is real! I feel it!"
Before I could stop her, she grabbed my arm and placed my hand on her chest.
"You can feel it too right?"
Okay, other than that soft feeling in my hand that I was probably going to feel a bit guilty about later, I was getting really sad and upset about the situation. In response, I pulled my hand from her grip, reached around her, and pulled her into an embrace. I then placed that hand on her head and channeled some magic into it.
"Sleep my dear," I whispered into her ear.
Quickly afterwards, I felt her slump down a bit with her head resting on my shoulder. A nice trick I learned from Discord. It only works if the person or pony is emotionally vulnerable enough and I was pretty sure this qualified. The effect would only last about an hour, but by then I would hope that I could solve whatever was happening. To do so, I knew just who to ask.
"Discord! Get your motherfucking ass out here right now!"
A few moments go by and nothing but the scenery had changed. He wanted to play that game? Fine. Twilight told me that she had a spell that could summon Discord and I since I couldn't learn spells for some stupid reason I figured something out on my own. I could just summon him with hax magic, a.k.a. chaos magic. A snap of my fingers and suddenly Discord appeared... as a hood ornament. Hey, if it worked then that's all that mattered at the moment.
"Discord you son of a bitch! What have you done?"
The small ornament turned around and looked at me. I couldn't make out any details with him being so small, but I swear I could feel the smugness wafting off of him.
"Well, well, well, what exactly have you been up to while I was away?"
"Oh don't you dare Discord," was my seething reply. "She started coming onto me suddenly and strongly on the drive here and I had to stop her because you did this to her!"
Discord lit up in a flash and moved into the back seat.
"As amusing as that sounds I can assure you that I did no such thing."
"That's bullshit! Take a look at her hair. That's your M.O.: fading colors mixed with a personality change."
I kept trying to glance back at him while I kept my eyes on where I was headed. I didn't hear anything for a bit so I just started levitating her back into her seat.
"Well this is certainly a surprise."
"What, that I'd be pissed?"
"No my boy. You did this to her."
Hearing him say that shocked me into dropping her out of my grasp. She ended up sprawled out between both of our seats.
"What are you talking about? I wouldn't do this to her!"
"And yet the evidence is to the contrary. I may be good at mental manipulation, but this is more than just that. This is surprisingly thorough. Not only was her usual personality not truly subverted it was actually used as a base to allow more true feelings to build properly towards a certain route. There are even a few triggers in place to help things along. The most notable one has her make a move on you if she was turned human. It's so intricate that only someone versed in the field would notice the changes."
I was hearing him, but I really wasn't paying him any true attention. All I was concentrating on was the fact that I had done this to her. It wasn't some bad guy. It wasn't just Discord making a really bad joke. I had done this to her. I had made her want me this badly. It was a terrible irony to boot considering that I had a thing for hypnotism. I just didn't want it to be something I did to anyone. Or maybe, deep down inside, I actually did want it. That thought that I might want to do this to someone was more worrisome than anything else. It all came out with one thought out loud.
"This is the bullshitiest hax power I think that the term great power and great responsibility could be most appropriate to use for me."
"It is quite an accomplishment for someone this new to the whims of chaos to be capable to such changes to someone's mental state. You really must have some prior conception to the field."
Yeah, I was not about to tell him that I had a hypnosis fetish. A bark of laughter told me that he hadn't left my mind private enough to keep that to myself.
"Dammit Discord!"
"That is going into the blackmail folder for later. It does explain things however. Some of them anyway. Deep down inside you wanted a sexy, submissive woman to treat yourself with. Someone who you could make to love you despite all of your faults. A pretty sad thing I might add."
"I don't want to hear the psychoanalysis right now. I just want to get her back to normal."
"It will take a bit of time, but place your hand on her head and search through her mind for your magic. When you find it simply reabsorb it into yourself."
"It sounds easy enough."
"You're lucky I'm so impressed with what you did. From where her head is I could've said that you had to do something more vulgar to make it work."
I easily understood the connotation of his words, but he decided to hammer it in by playing a song on the radio to make it even more awkward.
"I'll just leave you to work on that," he said before there was a flash of light that signaled his departure.
That left the two of us alone once more. I felt miserable. However, I couldn't let her suffer like that. I placed my hand on the side of her head and began searching. It took quite a while to find everything. The murky feeling of my magic compared to the clear feeling of the rest of her mind let me know what to fix. I manged to pull it out of her just before we arrived at the scene of the issue the Doctor warned about.
The area was surrounded by royal guards. They were inter-spaced about every fifty feet or so in a wide circumference. Inside that area, I could see the familiar dancing arcs of energy that taunted me the last time. Seeing that pretty much confirmed my suspicions on what was wrong. Well, the Doctor did say that was the issue, but the specifics would probably get to me when the Doctor arrived. I slowed to a stop not too far away from the perimeter and finished pulling Dash into her own seat. The sleep spell would still work for a few more minutes so I turned her back into a pony and let her curl up in the seat.
Seeing her there made me decide to do one more thing. I reached over and poked her head with my index finger. I then proceeded to blank her memory of the last few hours up to the point just after we left. She didn't deserve to suffer by remembering what she did. I would be the one who had to remember for her. It was my fault after all.
I finished just in time. I took my finger off of her head and she slowly stirred from her sleep. She looked around groggily before stopping to look at me. She then let out a yawn and shook herself out.
"Hey there. When did I fall asleep?"
"Not too long after we got started. You got pretty bored when we weren't going too fast."
"Yeah, that sounds right. Are we there yet?"
"Yep! We just got here. We beat those slowpokes on the train by a lot I bet," I said with some feeling of pride despite how I felt.
"That's awesome, but... that means it's just us until they get here."
"Us and all the guards yeah."
She rose up fully and looked over the front end of the car. Upon seeing all the guards, she let a grin slip onto her face.
"Wanna have some fun?"
My mind quickly flashed the image of her straddling me not that long ago, but I pushed past it quickly enough. If this would make her feel happy then I wouldn't stop her. It might even help me feel better about myself. At least, that was what I hoped.
"I think some fun is just what just the doctor ordered."
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
Dash and I pulling pranks on the guards was exactly what I needed. With the rest of the entourage a while away, we needed something to preoccupy our time. My invisibility just made it all the easier. Being capable of creating any supplies we might have needed was just icing on the cake. By the time the rest of our group arrived there wasn't a single pony we hadn't managed to nail. Ponies all over had been hit with shaving cream, confetti, itching powder, pepper, pie, feathers, toilet paper, and a few other items that had the two of us giggling like idiots. We managed to stop the goofy behavior just before the others arrived in order to try and play innocent. Twilight was the first to comment on the scene before them.
"What in Celestia's name happened here?"
Oh I knew that they wouldn't believe any story I made up, but I still felt like creating one anyway.
"It was the craziest yet coolest thing I've seen in quite a while. There was this twister that blew by and I was originally pretty freaked out, but then it started spitting stuff out. It went everywhere! I put a shield over the car and I just watched it go on and on. It was nuts!"
"Sure partner. So why is it only the guards are covered in gunk and nothin' else?"
"You'd have to ask them. They seemed to clean everything else up."
"An that's the story yer gonna stick with?"
"Hey we have plausible deniability anyway. No one saw us do anything and there isn't any evidence that can link us to it. Just because I made up a fun story to explain it doesn't mean you can pin it on us," I finished looking away and crossing my arms.
"The fact that ya did it does though."
"Looking guilty isn't a factor in actual guilt."
"Maybe not, but ya certainly look mighty guilty a somethin'."
A brief flash of the car incident once again brought my mood down. Thankfully, Twilight got us back on track before I had a chance to dwell on it.
"Why don't we save this for later? We have a problem than needs solving."
"Yeah," I chimed in, "and I think I know what it is."
"We all know what it is," Twilight responded. "The Doctor told us on the way here."
"He didn't want to wait until we were all together to do it?" Dash asked.
"He stated that you would understand the jist of it when you arrived," Rarity explained.
"He's right," I said, "but not the finer details. Didn't we fix these rifts the last time?"
"Follow me and I'll explain," the Doctor said while moving to the front and onwards to the rifts.
We all followed his measured gait towards the rifts.
"You see when all of the unfortunate events that occurred last time came together the six of you and Discord were thrown across time, space, and dimensions. Each of you landed in a foreign environment and were trapped there until Seth came and rescued you."
"We know that part already," Rainbow Dash interjected.
"I'm aware that you know. When he came to get you he entered through the corridor that was forced open between worlds and landed in the general vicinity of your dimensional coordinates. He soon located you all and brought you back here while sealing up the rifts behind you. However, when he did so he sealed up the rifts that only he left behind. Those being the one he arrived from and the ones he left and returned from. In other words only his entrance and exit points. It may have seemed like the problem was solved, but unfortunately for all of us he left a problem behind. He didn't seal up the arrival points that you came from."
"Aww what? I thought I came in where they did."
"I'm afraid not. You arrived at a location that was either relatively close to them or a means that would make finding them easier."
Our group arrived right by the rifts without any of the guards stopping us. It was obviously because they were expecting us. Still I thought someone would stop us just to ask for credentials or something along those lines. Differences in worlds and all that.
"In order to seal the rifts completely we will have to travel back to those worlds once more and have the corresponding pony seal the rift themselves. Unfortunately, I don't have a way to send you all together so only Seth and the pony that went there originally can go through."
"Oh come on!" Rainbow Dash yelled. "Why can't we all go?"
"Because it would take too much energy to send us all through," Twilight explained. "Believe me I tried to figure out a way to do it while on the train, but neither the Doctor nor myself could figure a way to make it happen. At most only one more of us could go through, but it would be really draining for both him and the coin. For him to go it doesn't take very much energy because his power is part of the energy of the rifts and-"
"Yeah, yeah a lot of egghead stuff I wouldn't understand," Rainbow Dash cut in with. "Fine. Go ahead and go already. Just know that I'm not happy about it."
"This time around should be easier," the Doctor continued. "Relatively speaking anyway. Both you and your coin should remember where you are headed and should be able to adjust for the time differential. You also shouldn't have to touch the coin directly to go together. However, the pony of the two will have to touch the rift directly with the coin in order for it to be sealed up."
"Isn't that kind of dangerous?"
"No, no, well, a little, but no, and certainly not to the coin."
"Ah good ole Doctor reassurance. Makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside doesn't it?"
"Well let's hurry this up then!" Dash yelled impatiently.
I reached into my pocket and pulled out my coin. I really felt like naming it at that point. I originally called it Discord's coin, but he merely crafted it. I was the one who shaped it and it only listened to me or anyone I told it to. It somehow felt appropriate to name it. I stared at it for a moment before deciding on a suitable, yet cliche name.
"Eris."
"What was that darling?"
"Well, I figured that this coin is pretty important to me so I felt like I should give it a name. Discord made it. I use it. It's only appropriate that I name it after the Greek mythology's goddess of chaos. Three major theologies make a trinity and stuff."
A soft glow came from the coin, but disappeared quickly.
"I hope that means she likes it," I said cheekily.
Hey if I gave the coin a female name, why not refer to it as a she? Especially after that time she almost turned into a woman. It just seemed like the thing to do.
"I think we've gotten off topic," Twilight interjected. "We should start trying to fix these rifts."
My coin actually lit up in response to her statement. Six dots lit up on the edge of my coin. They didn't correspond to each of the ponies. Instead one lit up in each direction that the six rifts were in. That did make me think about something.
"Why isn't there one for Discord?"
"His was sealed when he returned here before I surmise. He returned here on his own after all."
"That doesn't make any sense. It isn't at all like the others."
"Well, he is chaos after all."
"Since when is 'just because' an answer for the Doctor?"
"This isn't the time to be having this argument," Twilight said interposing herself between us.
"I'm not so certain it isn't, but I'll trust you on this right now."
It was odd. I had thought that I trusted the Doctor, but here I was challenging him on these issues. Should I have though? He is the smartest person I've ever heard of. Maybe he just knew these things because of prior experience? Twilight had a point though. It wasn't the time to talk. It was time to save the world.
I turned and walked over in front of one of the rifts. The coin started to glow once again and the symbols started to move around. They eventually settled and Applejack's cutie mark displayed prominently on the face. It didn't take a genius to figure out what it meant.
"Alright Applejack. You're first up."
She gave a determined nod and walked up to my side. I placed my hand on her neck and reached out to touch the rift.
"Good luck you two!"
I touched the rift and there was a flash of light that enveloped my vision. I didn't even notice the transition until my eyes cleared up. We were standing in the middle of a sidewalk in an urban area. The tall skyscrapers around us were slightly disorienting. Not too much for me to notice something kind of interesting. Not that far away from us was a tall building with some very familiar lettering down the side of the building: Vlad Masters & Associates.
"Did we seriously come right back to where we started? Not a bad choice, but-"
I was interrupted by a loud crash as something cam flying through the wall of the building at a high velocity. Not high enough that I couldn't tell what it was. I guess I ought to say who it was. I had managed to arrive, to my best guess, just at the point in time where Applejack had kicked Vlad right out of his own building. It was just too good to be true. A snap of my fingers and his trajectory literally shifted ninety degrees downward. With the same speed intact, he let out a resounding crash as he impacted into the street less than ten feet away from us. I smirked a bit as I could hear him groaning in the middle of the small crater he made.
"How ya feeling buddy?" I quipped.
His head managed to snap up upon hearing me and a slow turn of his head brought his eyes to mine.
"You..." he seethed. "You ruined EVERYTHING!!!"
He stood up shakily out of the crater and glared venomously at me.
"Yeah, I'm sure you had some awesome plan for something that's beyond my comprehension. Textbook villain. Now, let's hear you spout off another line for your predicament."
Another snap of my fingers and a pair of glowing, green shackles formed around his forearms. Almost immediately, it looked like his whole body was being shocked cartoonishly. After several seconds of this his body turned from his ghost form into his human one. Shortly afterwards he collapsed in an unconscious heap.
"What in tarnation just happened?"
"I did something that I'd been thinking about after I got sent back to Earth. It's sort of a to do list now. Basically, The several days after I came back home I was thinking about all the things that I did. While I did, I thought about what I might do if I ever came back. Most of those things applied to the six worlds I visited through these rifts. Vlad here was one of them."
I levitated Vlad's unconscious body into the air and started walking towards the building he was ejected from.
"I felt kind of bad that we just ended up accidentally helping Vlad escape. This does a very nice job of stopping that problem from happening. The other issue is that woman right there."
Applejack looked to where I was pointing. It was a woman in her late teens shivering on the front steps of the Masters building. She was holding herself and rocking back and forth slightly.
"That woman was an android that I turned into a human woman. I really screwed up there. I turned her into a real person with real feelings and just left her there while I went inside to deal with Vlad. That was terrible of me to do."
"That's puttin it mildly. So what are ya plannin tah do now? Ya ain't just gonna leave her there are ya?"
"No, but that was the problem. Turning her back would be cruel. Instead, I'm going to do something that I just learned I could do."
"And what would that be?"
I let out a sigh as we got to where the woman was. She looked up from her rocking position and her eyes went wide as she saw me. Those bloodshot, tear-soaked eyes really hit me hard.
"Don't tell the others alright?"
I didn't give her a chance to respond before I placed my hand on the woman's head and began to seep my magic into her head. She seemed to freeze in place as her eyes just stared straight ahead with her pupils dilated. I'm pretty sure Applejack wanted to ask me what I was doing, but she refrained from doing so. I'm glad she did because what I was doing was delicate work. I wanted to fix my mistake, but I didn't want to take away her new found humanity so I decided on a third option. I gave her false memories. I had no idea how to craft a lifetime's worth of them so I settled on her having amnesia and getting a job here to help pay medical expenses. I fucking hated having to do it then, especially with the incident with Rainbow Dash happening so recently. I did this to myself, though, so I would pay the appropriate consequences. Soon enough, I had finished and put her to sleep.
"You mind tellin' me what that was ya did?"
"You remember what Discord did to you when you met him?" I asked while creating a pillow and laying her down on it.
"I remember him messin' with our heads a bit."
"It turns out I'm a natural at it," I said while continuing on to the building. "So much so that I can do it easily."
"That ain't somethin' ta be proud of ya know?"
"I never said it was. Now, I want to make a badass entrance so it's time to make the magic happen."
"You wh-"
I cut off whatever Applejack was going to say by tossing Vlad through the now closed doors that I came through in the first place. No idea why they were closed or better yet why no one was guarding them. It made my entrance work so I didn't question it. The doors flew off the hinges as Vlad flew into the room that I last found myself in from before. Needless to say, all eyes were on the scene of Vlad bound in a heap on the floor followed by training their eyes on me. I simply took off my regular glasses and put a pair of sunglasses that I pulled from literally nowhere onto my face and magicked my voice to that of Bender.
"I'm back baby!"
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
I Fought the Law and We Tied
Alright, I may have gone a bit overboard when I threw Vlad into the room, but I don't think I deserved to be put into handcuffs and thrown into jail. I'd never been arrested for anything in my life! The one and only reason I didn't just pick up and leave was that I didn't like my chances of being mobile with Applejack. Yes, she was strong and agile, but it's pretty difficult to dodge a gunshot unless you had plot armor. She may be a protagonist back home, but I don't know if that is carried over here. The only good news was that she was being taken to Section 9 headquarters for safety.
The reason I had been taken into custody was for destruction of public property. Basically, I had no authorization to apprehend Vlad so the damages to his building and to the street outside were unlawful. I was told by the Major that they would negotiate trying to get me out. For the time being, I was stuck in what was basically the county lockup. It was a moderately sized area that was a grey colored concrete on three sides and green steel bars on the last side. I think it measured about fifteen feet by thirty five feet and contained two other occupants. Occupant number one was an elderly man with a hunched back sitting on a bench that went along the far wall. He was fully bald with squinty eyes and skinny limbs. He had on a long sleeve, green shirt and some khaki pants that were rolled up past his calves.
Occupant number two was what I assumed was a prostitute. She was dressed in a manner that you could see her bra and panties easily and, well I don't have a clue what the other things were. She basically was wearing pants leggings only they stopped right below her waist and just above her ankles. She also had fine mesh sleeves on her arms that stopped at her shoulders on one end and around her wrists on the other. All of those items were colored pink. Only her high heels were the color red and her short cut hair was a deep black and contrasted quite deeply with her near porcelain skin. I was pretty sure she caught me staring a few times over the course of the almost ninety minutes that I was in there, but she didn't say a word nor did her facial expression ever change. I attributed the latter to the fact that she was probably a cyborg, but I couldn't see her neck to confirm it. I almost broke down and asked her but an officer came to get me at that moment.
"Seth-san! You've been remanded to federal custody."
You could hear the emphasis on the translation despite the fact that it was said in perfect English. Still, I waited until the door to the cell was opened and quietly stepped out.
"Well, it was nice chatting with you both. Any requests for you two before I leave?"
The woman snorted.
"Granting desires is my thing human."
That voice managed to click for me instantly and I spun around just as the door closed and locked up.
"Desiree the wishing ghost?"
Her expression finally changed to one of shock.
"You know who I am?"
"Yeah I do, but what are you doing here?"
"I have no reason to tell you, but I suppose there is no reason not to either. After my last encounter with Section 9 and that annoying Danny Phantom I was left powerless in this form. I simply went to immerse myself in some of the rather basest of desires to recover my strength. Before I could, however, I was arrested for prostitution."
"I see..."
I snapped my fingers and the officer vanished. I made sure to teleport him in front of the Masters building since that was the only place I could easily remember. In his place, I had teleported Desiree from out of the cell.
"Well, well, well. It seems that there is more to you than what your appearance would suggest. May I have your name?"
It was there I managed to come up with a new moniker. Good or bad I'd stick with it.
"I'm Seth, of the Chaos," I spouted.
There was a flicker of something across her face, but it was too quick to know just what it was.
"So, you seemed to have freed me but I know not why."
"Eh," I shrugged, "I'm pretty sure I have this soft spot for pretty women. It's my weakness."
"It is, is it?" she purred as she leaned into me. "Hmmm. Up close like this I can feel the power you have inside you, as well as all those pent up desires that you suppress. Why not let them out?"
It was then that I placed my hands on her shoulders. I ended up channeling a bit of my energy inside of her to help get her strength back. The effect it had was nearly instantaneous. Her black hair grew down past her butt and stopped halfway down her thighs. Her formerly porcelain skin changed hue completely and was now colored a dull neon green. Lastly, her chest had gone from almost flat to double d's.
"Yeees, that's much better. So did you want to sow the seeds of chaos together? I'm sure I can help you greatly."
"I'm afraid I don't have the time. I have to stop the world from ending. Just stop messing with Section 9 and head back to the Ghost Zone. Alright? It's all I'm asking of you."
She let out a small chuckle.
"It seems you are busy. Very well. It is a small price to pay for regaining my power. So you have wished it, so shall it be. Til we meet again Mr. Chaos."
As she said that, her body slowly faded away in green smoke until she was completely gone. Was it a good idea to do what I just did? Probably not. I might truly have a weakness to pretty women. Well, there was also the fact that I had been tossed in jail and was not in the most agreeable mood. Geez I was fixing my mistakes from last time, but I was probably making whole new ones on this go around. I opened the door to the room the cell was met by a plethora of police officers with their guns trained on me. Oh I really was burning all kinds of bridges today wasn't I?
"You really aren't making any friends here are you?"
I looked to where the grizzled voice was coming from and spotted the figure of Chief Aramaki in the crowd. The man was the head of Section 9 and probably my only way out of the building without becoming a fugitive.
"You know I don't think you can lawfully detain a ghost anyway so I think that I was you all a favor."
"This isn't just about the ghost you just let loose. This is about the disappearance of the officer that was in the room with you."
"Oh! Yeah. Okay. He's fine. Here."
I snapped my fingers and the officer from before appeared between me and the armed force.
"See? He's okay. Everything is okay. No need for guns drawn. At least not this many am I right?"
A few of the officers did put away their weapons as they approached the officer in front of me and escorted him away. Only they and one officer put away their weapons. Aramaki then spoke up again.
"It is not so easy to show trust to one who continuously does not show any concerns for his actions."
"I guess I have been kind of spastic in my actions. I'm pretty sure it comes with the territory of being fueled by chaos. It tends to make things complicated and hard to understand."
"Chaos is, by it's very nature, unpredictable. It isn't something that can be controlled by anyone."
"Normally true. I have some measure of control over it, however, but that's not as important as why I'm here."
"It isn't? Well, by all means enlighten me as to the reason you feel is so important that you need to break into a law office, accost a well known philanthropist lawyer, and break out a prisoner while simultaneously traumatizing an officer of the law."
Now when I heard that, I could feel the disdain he had for me in his voice. I had shown up, run his team into a tizzy, nearly let a bad guy they were after get away, broken a prisoner, who was a a ghost no less, out of jail, and he was probably arguing my case to get me out of there and I rpobably just stepped all over his credibility in the process. I wouldn't be too happy either. Then again, I was equally unhappy about having been arrested for what I did. Hell, I could have restored all of those things that I had broken with my magic if anyone was willing to listen to me for one second. Well, they could only listen to me right now so talk I would.
"First off," I said raising my hand, "you all haul me off to jail for destroying property while I was stopping some asshole who had kidnapped and brain jacked innocent people. If any of you had talked to me for more than a few seconds I would have told you that I could repair the damage I did without any problems. Secondly," I said as my things came from nowhere and flew into my hand, "I do not like having my stuff taken from me. Especially my coin."
I pocketed everything else and held up said coin for emphasis.
"This coin is highly intuitive and can have a mind of it's own. As far as I know bad things can happen if I am apart from this coin.
"Thirdly, I sent away that woman in the cell with me because she is a ghost. I don't know how familiar you all are with ghosts but I highly doubt that this place is allowed, let alone qualified, to hold a ghost for any reason. It's a damn ghost so let her head back to the Ghost Zone. Lastly, the reason I'm here in the first place is that I'm trying to save all of your lives from some damn rip in space time that will end up tearing your universe asunder. Now that I've explained things can I please leave before everything and everyone is destroyed?"
When I had finished unloading all of that onto everyone in front of me, I was met with mostly incredulous stares.
"You'll have to excuse us if we don't really believe what you have to day," he said succinctly.
"Well, yeah... I guess, but I do have my companion back at your place who can at least back me up on the last point. Not so much on the other stuff, but at least the last one. I wouldn't have even let myself be captured it I wasn't concerned for her well being. Look, as soon as I'm done here we'll be on our way back home. Hopefully I won't mess up anything else along the way."
The chief looked long and hard at me for quite a bit as the tension in the room grew. No one made a move on either side. Finally, Aramaki broke the silence.
"Do I have your guarantee that you will do whatever we ask without question and will not break anymore laws while you are here?" he asked in a very serious tone. It was so serious that I almost blurted out an affirmative without thinking. Instead I took a deep breath to calm myself down a little.
"Look, my general nature now is chaos. Despite that, I would consider myself chaotic good. That means that I have an established code of right and wrong and will use less than the normal of usual methods to support that code. While I will endeavor to follow your instructions I can't give you a guarantee of that as something might happen that could clash with that code. My plan is to seal the rift I came to seal and then head back. I don't plan on causing any more anarchy. I don't plan on doing what I just did to that officer to anyone else. I do expect a musical number because Rainbow Dash jinxed me in the car during her Wonderbolts rant. If I have my say she's going to be part of it, but that's neither here nor there. I have to do this because it's my responsibility to fix it. Let me do my job."
"Hmph... I suppose that's the most I can expect out of you. We already have the testimony from your partner to confirm that part of your story. It seems we don't have much choice in the matter. Everyone stand down."
The officers all did what they were asked and holstered their weapons. There was a sound of something like pressurized air being released at my sides as well. Suddenly, the Major and Batou appeared where the noises came from and they too holstered their weapons.
"We'll be taking you to Section 9 headquarters while we sort out how to help you leave as soon as possible. Major, Batou, escort him there."
"Right." "Sir."
Yeah, I was getting the feeling that I wouldn't be welcome back here.
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
It was a relatively short drive to Section 9 headquarters. With all the tension in the car, it felt much longer. Up until the car ride I had conveniently forgotten about the fact that this was a fanfiction. It was a relatively unread fic called 'The Phantom in the Machine'. It hadn't gotten very far in; about six chapters, but I was pretty certain that it was this from reading the prologue. It talked about some kidnappings and hinted that Vlad was the culprit, but it never mentioned it again for as far as it went. Why do I bring it up? Well...
During the ride, nothing was really happening. Batou was driving while Major Motoko Kusanagi and I were sitting in the back. It was pretty awkward in there already. It was for me anyway. I couldn't get a read on either of them. I honestly couldn't stand it anymore and spoke up.
"So... um... I'm sorry about before," I said while looking out of the window instead of at them. "I was just trying to help my friend."
"Your friend was with a pretty nasty fellow."
"Heh, yeah. Not nearly as bad as if it was Skulker who had found out about her," I quipped.
I was immediately grabbed by the shirt and pulled around to face the Major eye to eye.
"How the hell do you know about all of these ghosts? The public in general may know a little about ghosts, but not in the amount of detail you seem to know."
This seemed a bit too temperamental for the Major, but I hadn't really been to privy to what happened around here. Of the few chapters I had read, none of them contained any real backstory. I mean, I knew their original backstory on both stories, but this was a mash-up where their stories would change because they were no longer separate entities. Despite that, the fic hadn't gotten into that yet.
Her stare and threatening grip was enough to get me to answer her. Rather, it would have but I was distracted by the fact that her eyes were glowing completely green. It wasn't just her iris, but it was also her pupils and scelera.
"Your eyes," I commented.
Her eyes returned to normal and she pushed me back to my side of the car.
"I remember when Danny got angry about something and his eyes lit up like that. It was his ghost half leaking through. That's what's happening with you isn't it?"
"Kid," Batou interrupted, "you don't want to go there and you definitely don't talk about that to anyone. It's a state secret."
"Well, yeah, I would figure that it would be. Uh, to answer your question, I really am not sure if I should answer you because I have no idea how you'll take it. I had to answer similar questions with Applejack and her friends as well as... when Batman asked."
Yeah, I didn't get asked that exact question by Batman, but mentioning him got the reaction I was looking for. I wasn't sure giving them the answer I did was a good idea or not, but I figured that given all of the psychological drama that Ghost in the Shell goes through that telling them might not have a really negative effect. The Major seemed to get past it if her tone of voice suggested anything.
"Well I suppose in the grand scheme of things that nothing has really changed. I'm not any different than I was before I was told. I do wonder how much do you know?"
"It depends This is more of an iteration than what I know. The main point was that I didn't know you were a ghost hybrid. I only knew of Vlad, Danny, and the other Danni, though I forgot about her the last time I was here."
"I'm afraid that there's only one Danny. We couldn't save his cousin from Vlad."
"Aw what? Nooo, that... that sucks. She was such a nice little girl who only wanted to be left alone. She didn't deserve that."
Silence once again reigned inside the car. It was like that until we arrived at an underground parking lot. It was fairly well lit despite the lack of any natural lighting filtering in. I did note that the place seemed to have a green tint to it. It made me realize that a good deal of the areas I went to that didn't have natural light had some kind of green tint to it. The three of us got out and walked over to an elevator which we quickly rode up on.
The elevator let us out to a rather spacious room. It was a split level room with a small stairwell in the middle connecting the two. One wall was an enormous window that sloped down from the ceiling and stopped about eight feet off of the ground before coming to a partition which underneath was more window that went to the ground. The wall to my right had several large bookcases that contained all kinds of tomes on it on both levels with small trees in each corner on both levels. There were also small trees in each corner of the wall to my left in a similar style. Along that wall on the lower section was a large white couch with enough room for six people to sit. Along the wall with the elevator were two massive wall screens on either side. They started about three feet off of the ground and went up about fifteen feet and spread out to either wall about thirty feet away. There were a few small shrubs underneath those screens as well to liven it up, but not tall enough to get in the way of seeing them.
On the lower floor was all of the furniture. A large wooden like desk that looked like a judge's bench on one side of the room that could overlook the rest of the room. The rest of the room being lined with white sofas and chairs enough for twenty people to sit comfortably that were lined uniformly from the small wall of the upper area. A nice glass table with a metal frame was positioned in the center of all the seating and sat upon the floor which was a hard, beige-colored plastic that was quite odd to look at. Wherever you looked, that plastic stuff outlined everything in the room.
Not a bad room all things considered as I walked down the few stairs and noticed just about every member of Section 9 sitting in those seats as well as Applejack and a few people I wasn't expecting there. Those being the three people from the Danny Phantom side of things: Danny Fenton, Sam Manson, and Tucker Foley. Of the Section 9 group, Togusa, Saito, Pazu, Ishikawa, and Boma were all sitting around too. All of them had their eyes on me as I descended the stairs.
"Hey there Seth. Ya get back from tha station alright?" Applejack asked me with a bit of a grin.
"Yeah, that was certainly a fun trip," I commented in an aloof manner. "Got to meet interesting people and whatnot."
Danny jumped to his feet with an angry look on his face.
"You let Desiree regain her powers and escape!"
"I wished her back to the Ghost Zone thank you very much! She's not out roaming the city or anything."
"That's still being irresponsible!"
"Hey, I'm not a saint," I said while waving my hand in front of my face and making it look like there was a halo over my head. "I'm not the devil either," I said with another wave making my face appear deep red and replacing the halo with long horns. "I'm just me," I finished with another wave turning back to normal.
"Ain't that the problem?" Applejack quipped.
"Ha ha A.J. Where do you come up with those?"
"So you're not a ghost," Sam chimed in. "Then what are you?"
"I think a mage would be the most apt description I could give. I can use magic spells to change reality. It's similar to what Desiree can do actually, except where she gains power by granting desires I gain power by just being around chaotic events. I convert the ambient energy in the area into magical energy and store it away. I have a limit as to how much I can store, but it hasn't been an issue most of the time."
"Why are you being so candid with us? It can't just be because you can't move freely with your accomplice."
"Well, I think it's because I can trust you all. I mean, I'm kind of on the verge of nerding out about- Oh crap I forgot my camera!" I yelled clutching my head.
It should go without saying, but that definitely got me some weird looks. Except from Applejack since she was busy planting her hoof in her face.
"Really Seth? Ya know we ain't got time fer that! We gotta find that rip and close it before bad things happen!"
"I know, but how many times do you think this is going to happen? I hope it's no more times because that we screwed up something else and need to fix that! I mean, I'd love to come back under better circumstances, but I don't think anyone here really likes me. Not too great when you consider that you come from a world that considers friendship and harmony as pillars of the community."
"Ah'm pretty sure that's just your view on that, but I am the Element of Honesty so ah don't know if I can argue that too well."
"Element of Honesty?" asked Togusa.
"Yep. It's a... representation of an ideal as well as a magical artifact where she's from. Basically, the artifact is one of six and each chooses a wielder based on the tenants of friendship. Applejack represented honesty so well that it bestowed itself upon her. But, dang it I'm getting off track again! We have a world ending threat going on and we need to fix it."
"He's right," said one chief Aramaki as he strode in from the elevator. "Despite his unusual demeanor, this young man is here to help fix a problem that we may not be capable of doing so ourselves. I doubt we could even find the problem in order to fix it."
"And I have that covered."
Having said that, I pulled the Eris coin from my pocket and held it so that everyone present could see it.
"This is my possibly sentient Swiss army knife. I can use it to track the location of the rift. Though, if anyone could tell me where Applejack arrived from last time that would cut down on the time it would take."
"I'm afraid we don't, though we could simply ask Vlad," Motoko responded.
"I'd rather not have to ask that slime bucket for anything," Danny followed with a touch of venom in his voice.
"Well we don't need to so this is it," I said while holding it out to look at it. "It gives a general direction, not distance or any other indicators. A 3-D model would be nice, but I don-"
I cut myself off as a small globe appeared over the the area of the coin. It didn't give a diagram of the building, but it did show distance and a direction in three dimensional terms. The strange part was that it was only about thirty feet away on the x-axis. That put it inside the area of the building I was inside.
"See what I mean? Sometimes she just does things after I say something out loud."
"She?"
"It's a coin that does things that confuse the hell out of me," I countered whomever said that. "Why wouldn't I consider it a woman?"
"That's not the important thing here," Aramaki interrupted. "The important part is that it seems to be indicating that rift originated in the portal room."
"The portal room?" I asked.
"Since it is important to our continued cooperation, it is specifically where we keep our portal to the Ghost Zone."
"Wait, wait, wait, wait, you mean I'm going to get to go into the Ghost Zone?" I asked a bit giddily.
"It seems that you will young man... and young lady," he added as a courtesy to Applejack.
"This day is definitely turning in the right direction," I whispered.
"Major, Danny, I want you two and four others to form a team to escort these two into the Ghost Zone to help them seal up this rift. Take the Mark III Spectre Speeder and be ready within the hour."
"Yes sir!" "Yes sir!"
"And you two, especially you," he said pointing to me, "are to stay here and do nothing. You may be important in helping us fix this problem, but your presence here has been a major pain for most of time. When this is over, I want you two to leave as soon as possible. Is that clear?"
"Yes sir," I said dejectedly.
Man, way to be a buzzkill.
Author's Note
Note that 'The Phantom in the Machine' is not an actual fanfiction that I am aware of. Any similarities to other works that are a mash-up of the original works is sheer coincidence. Unless someone takes the idea and makes a fic of it. In that case just credit me with the idea and then you can do whatever you want with it.
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
The Prophecy was Fulfilled
The Ghost Zone is a pretty damn cool place, even if it is a bit monotonous. It mostly consists of this green haze in multiple dark hues. That's honestly the best way I can describe that stuff because it looked much more solid than a haze should be. Not only that, it seemed to form patterns out of the corner of your eyes when you weren't looking at something in particular. It wasn't just the haze out there, though. There were also multiple doors just floating out there. They acted a lot like the doors from Monsters Inc. if you've seen that except that each of those doors lead to a ghost's realm. That was only the case for the weaker ones since I knew that there were entire areas devoted to other ghosts out in the open. Every once in a while you would also see some kind of random debris just floating out there making me think about just what purpose it served since I think everything out here did something no matter how minor.
I was viewing all of this scenery in the back of what was called the 'Spectre Speeder Mark III'; a stylized vehicle made to travel through the Ghost Zone while providing some protection from unknown threats that lurk around undetected. That was their words not mine, although mine may have come out somewhat similar. The speeder itself was sort of a long cylinder about sixty feet long colored a bright white with what I was told were treated windows along the sides and a wide windshield in the front and small engines built into the framework. The color was part of some running gag about 'going into the light' that no one would explain properly.
It wasn't really important as I walked into the speeder with Applejack. The whole shebang was filled with instruments that I had no idea about. It simply reminded me of what the inside of a submarine looked like. There were things like lights, levers, buttons, switches, kerbobbles, jahoozites, and green-tinted screens all over. Nobody really let me have a good look at any of them. They let Applejack have nearly free reign over her time in there, but I was placed in a seat in the back that still had a view through the front windshield and told not to wander off anywhere. I may not have liked that they did that, but I did understand why they did. I was chaos to the surroundings. I may have been viewing myself as chaotic good, but my actions to date leaned more towards chaotic neutral. My good actions, like nabbing Vlad, were offset by my less good actions, like letting Desiree go. Trust wasn't going to come easy, if it even came at all.
Eventually, I could feel the speeder turn on and watched through the front as a device in the wall I hadn't noticed before lit up in a neon green color. For a moment it reminded me of a Stargate, but the differences quickly dismissed that thought for me. The neon lights surrounded the giant metal circle and shortly thereafter most of the interior slid back to form an enclave that could fit the speeder though only barely. It was a moot point as a few sparks could be seen in there followed by the entire area being engulfed in a tangible medium and dark green light. The speeder then thrummed up like a jet engine and shot straight into the light. The transfer seemed instantaneous even though I was told that it wasn't. It was close enough that didn't really care, but they seemed a bit more insistent about it so I conceded the fact.
As soon as we were though, and after the snippy little short, they more or less demanded that I show them which way to head. It didn't really matter that much other than the tone they used. I simply levitated Eris to the front console and she surrounded herself in a translucent blue sphere with a white dot on the surface that pointed down and to the left. With the heading given, the speeder set off towards it's destination.
It would have been nice if it hadn't taken too long from there. Alas, it ended up not being that way. After ten minutes of nothing but silence, I broke down and cast an illusion screen. It's basically just a small visual illusion that you can project anything on. I chose to watch 'The Avengers' on it. That movie held a lot of significance for me. I had tried several times to watch it and then before I could I got sent on my little trip to Equestria. After coming back I hadn't really felt like doing anything. I had to go to work or else I would get fired, but I didn't do anything else. After a week had gone by, I went to see Avengers by myself and seeing that awesome movie finally lifted my spirits. It felt good to enjoy things once again.
Even though Applejack didn't seem to like the movie, the rest of the group seemed to enjoy it well enough that they didn't get on me to stop it. I think a good deal of their interest in it was because there wasn't any of the Avenger's universe movies in that place. They did have the Hulk move; the original one anyway. It tanked so badly that no one wanted to touch it again and by proxy most of the Marvel franchises were summarily shied away from. It was a fun talk about little differences like that which combined with the movie took up close to four hours of time until we were interrupted.
Our interruption came in the form of a high pitched alert signal followed about five seconds later by the craft shaking a bit violently.
"SitRep!" Motoko demanded loudly.
"It looked like high pressure sound waves," replied Togusa.
A part of me cringed at a familiar memory. It was as if those who controlled irony had slapped me with a bat that had the words 'I told you so' painted on them.
"It looks like it's Ember," Batou stated.
"Godammit Rainbow Dash!" I yelled getting stares from everyone there.
"What in samhill does Rainbow Dash have tah do with this?" Applejack asked pointedly.
I turned with a sigh to the blonde pony.
"Ember is a ghost who enjoys performing songs," I explained.
"I'll take care of this," Danny said almost reluctantly.
Upon stating that, a bright circle of white light shot out from his waist and surrounded him like a hoop. The circle then split into two with one heading upwards and one heading downwards. As the traveled their respective routes, the area in between them seemed to convert the clothing he was wearing into a skin tight jumpsuit. When they passed by his head and feet the circles disappeared leaving a very different-looking Danny. In place of his normal appearance, he now a snow white hair and glowing green eyes. He was wearing a mostly black jumpsuit save for the white waistband and wore white gloves and boots. On his chest, there was a symbol that looks like a stylized D. I didn't have time to scrutinize him for any differences to the canon version before he turned translucent and flew out through the side of the speeder. At the same time, I recalled Eris to my hand.
"What are you up to?" Motoko asked me. "We meed to keep moving."
"I'm going to go negotiate a cease fire."
"You're what?!" was her eloquent response.
"I know what I'm doing this time. I have a plan and everything."
Without waiting for her to respond, I teleported outside of the speeder and reoriented myself towards Ember and Danny. They didn't seem to be fighting at the moment so I tried to approach them. Tried being the operative word as I quickly found out that I couldn't move normally in the Ghost Zone. I couldn't even turn like I somehow did after I appeared there. I had to remedy that problem in a hurry, but I simply forewent any other movements and just teleported myself closer to them. The two quickly noticed me and while Danny sighed and initiated a facepalm Ember and I silently looked each other over.
Ember was a bit of a lithe woman with pale, almost white skin that was tinted slightly blue. That tint was most likely due to her long hair that was up in a ponytail. I wasn't sure how that was possible considering that her hair was made of blue fire. She was wearing what looked like a black leather top with only one strap over her left shoulder, a long black leather glove on her right arm that stopped over her bicep, a pair of black pants that looked more like spandex, and grey platform boots with the image of a comical skull over the toes. She also had tattoos around her eyes to make them looked ringed and while the left one dropped down to her cheek and looked like a fang the other curled up into what kind of looked like part of an ampersand.
"So who is tubby here supposed to be? Club membership standards getting easier?"
"It's not like that Ember. He's just somebody we're escorting through the Ghost Zone."
"Yep! The name's Seth," I said as I stuck my hand out.
She merely looked at my outstretched hand and then leveled a glare at me.
"I only now realize how stupid that was," I stated pulling my hand back.
"So why does the great and powerful Danny Phantom have to escort some dumb human through the Ghost Zone for?"
"Oh," I replied instead, "you know, stopping reality from tearing itself asunder. Little things like that."
"I didn't ask you wide load!"
"Oh come on, you shouldn't be berating me like that. Appearance doesn't mean anything to a rock player."
That seemed to grab her interest.
"You're a rocker?"
In response to her question, I held my hand out in front of me again. This time the area around it erupted into an illusionary ball of blue flames. At that moment, I used the ability that chaos magic gave me to create something for the spectacle I knew I would find myself in. When the flame died off, in my hand was a bass guitar. It was colored black with my Colts' symbol wrapped around the center.
"I dabble."
She gave me a little smirk that told me enough to know that she at least didn't detest my very presence anymore.
"So, you in a band?"
"I'm a one man band. It's a specialty of mine."
She gave me a pretty disbelieving look in response.
"Seriously. I'm capable of playing guitar, drums, and all vocals as well as any other instruments."
"That sounds like a load."
"Believe what you want, but I'm just that good."
"Oh yeah? Prove it then if you're not all talk."
"That's fine, but when I do I want you to escort us to the rift I was headed to. You know, to prove I'm not a liar."
"Fine, but it better be worth it!"
"We don't have time for this," Danny finally interrupted sternly.
"Butt out Phantom!" was Ember's harsh reply.
"Danny, would you rather have to listen to a song for maybe five minutes or would you like to fight your way through?"
He responded with a glare for a moment before drooping with a sigh.
"Just make it quick," he stated before flying back to the speeder.
"Feh. I don't need no instructions to know how to rock."
I closed my eyes and let off a bright flash. It was pretty much just cover for me to teleport back a ways from Ember to perform. When the light disappeared, all everyone else could see was an enormous ball of blue flame. Inside of it I set up everything for the brief show. I was really getting into these more than I thought and since there would only be a few people watching this time I felt confident instead of panicky. I let the fire go for about twenty seconds before I began to play.
I started with what sounded sort of like a wind chime. I never knew just what that instrument was so I just synthesized it on a piano. The violin joined it quietly afterwards. The two played for about thirty seconds before the bass and drums kicked in; both replacing the previous instruments and also blowing out the fireball in a shockwave style revealing both myself and three copies of myself on various instruments. I continued on until the intro reached a crescendo and let out one word:
"NIGHTMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARE!!!!!"
I continued on playing Nightmare by Avenged Sevenfold as Ember watched me there. I knew I needed to put all the effort I could into it because while it was a good song I needed to make sure that she try to cop out of our agreement. Most ghosts aren't known for being too honest unless you impress them. Well, the more eccentric ones I mean. In the words of the Dairy King, 'most ghosts just want to be left alone dontcha know?' Still, as the vocals faded out for the end of the song, I felt like I had nailed it. I just needed confirmation from Ember to finish it.
"I want to say something bad about that performance... but as a fellow musician that would just be petty of me," she finally said at length. "Still, I do think that you were being sneaky about saying you could play everything at once."
"Well, I said I'm a one man band. And I proved that," I said with a hint of smugness.
"And just when I I was starting to like you. You had to go and act like you're a big shot."
"Oh like you wouldn't have spiked the football after you performed."
"I guess you're right," she half-grumbled out.
"So would you help see us through the Ghost Zone? I have to stop a tear in reality from ripping everything apart."
"Wait, that's why you're here?"
"Yeah. I'm trying to save the Ghost Zone. Didn't Danny say tell you this?"
"No! He just blasted me and the two of us were yelling back and forth."
"It's like nobody's grown up at all," I mumbled while pinching the bridge of my nose. "Well, that's really why I want you to come along with us. With you around, we're less likely to get attacked again and I don't even care what happens afterwards as long as no one's existence is ripped apart. Can you please come with us now?"
"Yeah, fine. Whatever," she said dismissively. "Just don't tell nobody I was helping them out."
"You're really just helping me and my friend out. You don't have say anything about anybody else."
"I said fine already. Let's just get going."
I nodded to her and teleported myself back inside the speeder. Unfortunately, I was greeted by a multitude of glares; even one from Applejack.
"That was dumb and reckless," Applejack chided. "Who knows what coulda happened?"
"I told you all I had a plan! Ember likes rock music and so do I! You get a person to talk about something they have a great deal of passion for and almost every time they will be less hostile when you speak of it in a positive manner."
"Ya got away with that by dumb luck!"
"Dumb luck? That was a calculated risk and I don't think I would do it any differently if-"
"Both of you be quiet!" Motoko yelled into our argument. "We don't have time for this! I don't like what he did either and I doubt any of us did at that."
"Hey!"
"Shut it! Let's get this straight. We don't like you. We don't mind your pony friend, but none of us care for your attitude or your recklessness. This isn't a damn game. This is an operation to keep everyone safe from whatever mess you helped cause."
"I didn't help-"
"I don't care!" she yelled; cutting me off again. "You definitely don't seem to have any sense of crisis right now and that pisses me off more than anything!"
Oh, great, her eyes went green again.
"You seem a hell of a lot more interested in having yourself a good time than trying to solve the problem at hand! This is why none of trust you one bit! Because you just don't seem to care!"
"Major," I heard I believe Batou speak, "I think we've arrived."
I looked past her as she turned around and we all saw what seemed to be a tear in reality. It looked just like before when all of this started before. It appeared as a twisting, writhing lightning bolt moving between two fixed points on either side.
"That definitely looks like what we're hear for," I said as I fished Eris out of my pocket once again and held it in front of me. She was glowing slightly now. "Yeah, I'd say that's it."
Motoko looked right back to me.
"Fix it and get the hell out of here."
The door to the speeder opened and Applejack was picked up by Danny. I then gave Applejack my Eris coin and the two of them took off swiftly to the rift.
"Wow, you weren't kidding about that tear thing were you?"
I looked to the side to see Ember, quite possibly the only amicable being in the vicinity to me, floating slightly outside the speeder.
"Of course not. I may lie sometimes, but not about important things like this... You're not going to attack anybody now right?"
"No, I said I wouldn't and this thing is bumming me out."
"Good. Let's go somewhere else and wait."
A snap of my fingers and a teleport later and the both of us were a reasonable distance away from the speeder.
"What the heck did you just do?"
"Try to understand, I'm a magic man."
"Can you talk like a normal person here?"
"I've got magic powers derived from chaos," I said flatly. "You know, I think you and Desiree are the only two who won't be happy as soon as I'm out of here."
"You know where Desiree is?" she asked with more concern in her voice than I expected to hear.
"With any luck, she should be back in the Ghost Zone. If you see her, tell her Seth said hi."
"I'll think about it. You're not going to say goodbye to lame-o's?"
"Oh I'm pretty sure they hate my guts. Preconceptions have been utterly trashed. Hell, the ghosts I've met for the most part seem better than the humans. Vlad and the Box Ghost are the exceptions."
"And nobody really likes them anyway," Ember added.
I let out a snort of laughter. It was true. After all, Vlad pretty much screws over all of his associates once they aren't of any use to him. He even works with the same ghosts repeatedly and they still end up with the same result. It has to be the power. In the case of the Box Ghost, he was just incredibly annoying. He was sooooo annoying.
There was a flash of light as it looked like Applejack made it to the tear. The rift stopped flailing about and turned into a straight line. Then, both sides came together and vanished in the middle. I was barely able to hear them from where we were.
"There's some kinda countdown on yer coin now," I faintly heard Applejack say.
I reached out and grasped Applejack with some telekinesis and brought her over to Ember and myself. As soon as she was in front of us, I shrunk the process down to pull Eris into my hand. True to her word, and why wouldn't she be, the blank side of the coin had a countdown of numbers that was at 43 when I started looking at it.
"I think it's giving us a warning as to when we return to Equestria."
"I think ah figured that much mahself."
I rolled my eyes and then turned them towards Ember.
"It's funny. I think I'll miss the ghosts here more than the people. Maybe if I come back we can jam together?" I asked as I held out a fist towards her.
She looked at my outstretched fist before smirking and tapping it with her own.
"Sounds killer."
I smiled at that admission and looked down at the countdown. Soon enough it hit zero and Eris lit up brightly before a small sucking sensation took hold of me. It was the last thing that I remember happening in the Ghost Zone.
Author's Note
Alternate songs for the showdown:
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
Can't Run From Every Fight
The light from the change of scenery slowly faded and I found myself back in Equestria in front of several ponies. They were all looking at me; waiting for me to say something. Something indeed needed to be said if nothing else but to stop the intense staring.
"Well, that went alright," I said trying to get the slightly uncomfortable stares to relent.
"Nice going you two," Twilight responded. "The rift disappeared and it looks like you're not hurt at all."
"Yep! I didn't even get into a fight," I said proudly.
"Yeah, but ya did get tossed in tah jail, got the people that helped us a might riled up, and got sidetracked by playing a song fer ah ghost lady," Applejack added. "I ain't too sure that's a whole lot better."
"Oh come on Applejack. A lot of that was them being intentionally antagonistic."
"You coulda been more reasonable and talked things out."
"When? Half the time I was there they thought I was a ghost possessing a human. We got off to a bad start, they kept being ornery after things were explained which led to them tossing me into jail, and from there we were not on very friendly terms to the point where my normal personality just started to get on there nerves. Could I have been more cordial? Maybe, but by then it would've been like talking to a brick wall."
"If ya'd been a bit more serious they sure as shootin' wouldn't ah had so much of a problem with how you were actin'! Ya never seem tah take things seriously!"
"Neither does Pinkie Pie and you don't seem to mind that one bit."
"This ain't about Pinkie Pie. This is about how ya don't seem tah care about anything that ya ain't interested in. It makes ya seem downright selfish."
"Look Applejack, I am not Mister Personality. I can be selfish, lethargic, disagreeable, and a great many more characteristics that you wouldn't like to see in a person, or pony or any other critter you might come across. Everyone had traits that they don't like, but you have to look past that. If I didn't care about what's happening here, and I mean genuinely care, I'd be sitting back in that cabin playing some game while waiting for Discord to send me home. For all my faults, I still try to do the right thing according to my own moral code. Those people in Section Nine didn't like my attitude or my methods and were yelling at me about it by the time we left. I admired those people and they can't stand me at all. I have to live with that. It's still not going to change who I am."
"We ain't askin' ya tah change. We're askin' ya tah try and hold back a touch."
I smirked as I involuntarily spoke a saying.
"So you're asking me to reign it in?"
I heard some groans and a chuckle or two.
"You say that and it feels like ah'm back tah square one," Applejack stated flatly.
"Sorry, but that's just who I am. it's just Seth being Seth I suppose."
She opened her mouth to say more but then shut it with a smirk.
"I ain't sure it's the same thing, but I guess I see what yer tryin' tah say."
"And I understand what you're talking about as well. I'll... try to dial it back some."
"Well, now that that's over can we please hurry up and get this going?" Rainbow Dash asked impatiently.
That put a bit of a smile on my face.
"Yeah, but I believe it's Fluttershy's turn next."
"What? Why?"
"Because there's chaos in order," I said being deliberately full of it.
"What kind of reason is that?" she asked with her agitation clearly growing.
"Look, I'm going to do this in the same order as last time. That means it's Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, then you followed by Twilight in that order," I explained pointing to each of them in turn. "It's something I decided on to avoid some issues."
"What kinds of issues?" Twilight asked.
"Fluttershy holding off going for one just in case. Another being that if these are ticking time bombs then going in order would theoretically give us the most time."
"That would make sense," she said more to herself than any of us. She then looked back to me. "Not by a whole lot though. We all were sent away at the same time."
"But I sealed up the rifts in a designated order."
"And if that stabilized things then the one's you sealed up later did more damage since they were open for longer."
"That's... actually a pretty good argument. Perhaps we ought to ask the Doctor about it? He's got to be more knowledgeable on the subject."
This was when I noticed something I feel that any person with functioning eyes should have noticed much sooner. It was night in the middle of the plains. How the hell was I able to see anything? I mean, yeah, Twilight and Rarity had their horns lit up so I could see a bit, but it was almost like, for lack of a better phrase, the twilight hours of the day. While it wasn't bright you still could see things well enough. The issue was that it was only for a good sized distance away from us; maybe a quarter mile or so. Beyond that, everything was almost pitch black with only the moon illuminating the landscape.
"I don't see the Doctor anywhere," Rarity stated.
Indeed, a quick look around came up unexpectedly short one caramel colored stallion.
"What the hell? The Doctor doesn't just run off."
...Okay, he does just run off, but usually for a good reason.
"It doesn't matter," Twilight responded. "We don't really need him to close the rifts anyway."
"True, but... Well, I feel a little questionable about his presence or lack thereof. I guess we'll continue on. Let's get going Fluttershy."
"Nice try," Twilight cut in, "but we still haven't discussed the order yet."
"It's called 'going with your gut' Twilight. I'm doing it because I feel like that's the right way to do it. Okay?"
"It's not okay Seth. We need to think about this rationally and come up with a plan."
"The plan is called go big or go home," I said as I picked up Fluttershy off the ground. "Planning out how we're going to do things is going to take time as well and since I've already come up with an order I say we keep it going and get this done sooner rather than later."
Twilight looked like she was about to argue with my decision, but was stopped when Rainbow Dash flew in front of her.
"Just let him do it. It's taking forever for this and I want to get to my turn already."
"Ugh! You are all driving me crazy!"
"Then let's leave so I can stop that from happening," I stated quickly and spun to touch the rift.
"That's not what-"
I didn't hear anymore of what she said as the bright light that came from touching the rift also indicated that Fluttershy and I had been sent to our next destination. The sight I was greeted to when I regained that sense was something I should have expected after the last jump with Applejack. I was in front of the capitol building that the Mayor used. That one would be the building in Townsville where the Mayor could call the Powerpuff Girls from. I was holding up Fluttershy on the front steps of the building taking in the surroundings carefully. Other than the front doors being blown off the hinges there wasn't anything that seemed off about the building itself, though I did note the lack of pedestrians around.
I set Fluttershy down and looked down at the adorable mare's eyes.
"I've got a bad feeling about this. Hold on to Eris until I get back."
I handed Eris over to Fluttershy and teleported up to the door. I had barely looked through the entryway when there sounded a crash not too far away. I had my suspicions about what was happening and, remembering that the last time I was here that there was supposed to be something special just for me waiting around, I teleported from spot to spot and looked into different rooms to check them out. Eventually, I made it to the Mayor's office and found that my suspicions were well founded.
The office had gone through some major renovations in the form of holes, fires, and craters. It was a good thing that the room itself was unnaturally large. I'm talking about three hundred feet by two hundred feet with a fifteen foot high ceiling. It was especially large considering the contrasting size of the Mayor himself who was about three feet tall. Still, all of that space made it easier to appreciate the foes that the Powerpuff Girls were fighting.
Him had transformed into a hulking red figure with over-sized muscles. He still had on that feathered boa he always wore as well as the high-heeled boots. In fact, other than the fact that he had the almost ridiculous looking muscles and had grown to an impressive eight feet tall he didn't really look any different.
Mojo was riding inside of some kind of simian robot version that looked a lot like himself. It didn't have the cape, but all the little touches were there. It had his belt, the shoulders looked armored like his were padded. It also had his color scheme. He even rode and operated it in the head where the cockpit looked like the helmet he wore. It was pretty impressive to someone who hadn't seen a functioning large robot before and no, I hadn't seen a working knightmare frame while I was there.
After bailing out on them before I was not going to just stand there and do nothing. The first thing I did was play a song spell , as I had dubbed it right then, and focused the origin on the ceiling. When the fighting stopped from the confusion I promptly reached into the ground and pulled out Jack's Sword . I felt it was most appropriate considering where I was. I gripped the handle tightly and teleported behind Mojo's robot. From there, I swung the blade with as much force as I could muster.
It didn't sever the leg as I had hoped. It did make it about three quarters of the way through which was enough for me to consider it a success. Of course metal ripping through metal isn't exactly silent. The group of heroines and Him all turned to see the source of the second noise and saw me there right before I wrenched the sword free with a bit of difficulty.
"Guess who's back?"
"What are you doing?" Blossom asked. "We said that we had it under control!"
"Look, it may have been ten minutes for you but I've been gone for about a year. Stewing on how I left you there put a bad taste in my mouth so I'm helping you out now!"
And help I did. With an upwards swing I left another gash in the robot. From the angle, though, it kind of looked like I had given it an ass crack. That set off a strange sequence where somehow the robot knew about it and for some reason it reached around with both hands and covered it's ass.
That kind of threw me off. Conversely, everyone else sprang into action as though they were expecting it to happen. The girls immediately ganged up on the robot. Bubbles finished tearing off the leg I sliced into. Buttercup smashed an uppercut into the torso to put it off balance. I came to my senses in time to teleport out of the way as Blossom unloaded a haymaker from above that slammed the robot into the ground back first. The glass dome cracked in places and sparks went flying in various places.
Mojo looked livid as he tried to get his robot up again. It was to no avail as Buttercup smashed through the cracked dome and lifted Mojo out by his collar. Seeing Buttercup in his face, he gave off a sneer.
"Curse you Powerpuoof!"
His rant was cut off as Buttercup unloaded a punch into his face that launched him into the wall. He soon fell out of the Mojo-shaped hole in the wall onto the floor and it looked like he was done for the fight.
"Well then," I heard Him say, "with the monkey down for the count I don't see any reason to stick around. See you around Powerpuff Girls!"
Final line given, Him disappeared in a plume of black smoke. With Him gone I let out a sigh of relief and let the sword disappear. I looked over to where Mojo landed and saw Buttercup pick him up by his collar again. She didn't hit him this time, though. I then looked up to see Blossom and Bubbles staring back at me with two different expressions. Bubbles' was one of confusion, while Blossom was more like she was sizing me up. I started scratching the back of my neck due to the awkwardness I was feeling.
"So..." I started, but was cut of by a voice coming from nowhere.
So once again the day is saved thanks to
The Powerpuff Girls!
"So that's normal then?"
"The singing was new," Bubbles added cheerfully.
"And some random schmuck," the voice added dully.
"Hey! I am a chaos mage!"
"Yeah, good for you buddy," it said dismissively.
Author's Note
Quick note that the song started at 11 seconds in because I've never heard that part of 'Symphony of Destruction' until I did research into it for this chapter. I had only heard the radio version.
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
It was a bit later as a group of mismatched people, and a pony, were walking through the streets of Townsville. Why were we walking? Well we had no idea how long it would take to get where we needed to be and I really didn't feel comfortable being carried around while we were flying. It wouldn't take long too long to get places if it was just me they were taking along. The problem was that Fluttershy didn't want to be carried around and she didn't fly very fast. Therefore we decided to go on foot.
We did end up with another problem. Our group of five wasn't exactly the picture of normal. Sure I doubt I would turn many heads, but we had the local superhero team and a canary yellow pegasus walking along the street like it was nothing. Oh who am I trying to kid? The girls were just fine. Fluttershy on the other hand looked like she was having a near panic attack. She was a pony who hated being the center of attention and here she was; an oddity even amongst the abnormal norm. Even I couldn't stand the stares after a while and they weren't even directed at me.
"Alright, enough of this," I said and placed my hand on Fluttershy's head. "We're going invisible."
I matched words to action and turned the both of us invisible to everyone but each other. I had improved with this spell quite a bit. Not only was I capable of turning other things invisible, but I was able to see them while they were still invisible. Well, so long as I was invisible also. It was a big improvement over smacking myself in the face with my invisible hand. I had made other improvements with what I considered my signature spell as well. I still required physical contact to activate it, but now I was capable of sending it from just about any part of my body and not just my hands. I also had increased just how much area I could turn invisible. The last time I tried I was able to turn a small grove of trees invisible. Most interesting of all was that I was able to sustain any invisibility after I separated from my target so long as I wanted it to. It only lasted about twenty five seconds but that was still quite significant. I had gotten pretty damn confident with that spell.
"I'm not very happy that we can't keep an eye on you," Blossom stated.
"Well, I could envelop all three of you with invisibility as well. Or I could just put my hand on your shoulder. Either works for me."
"Ooh, ooh, I want to be invisible!" Bubbles cried out enthusiastically.
I let out a chuckle as I turned and reached for her. I placed my hand on her shoulder and shifted her to invisible.
"Haha! This is so neat!"
She started to wave her hands in front of Buttercup.
"You can't see me!"
"Duh," Buttercup drawled.
"Basic rundown is that I need to keep in contact to maintain the spell. If Bubbles were to hold hands or clasp her shoulder then I can extend it through that connection. That's really all of the pertinent information for this."
As they deliberated, I placed my leg up against Fluttershy's foreleg to keep the connection and pulled Eris out of my pocket. I don't know why but I felt weirdly protective of her. It's possible that it was because Him was still out there. I had been pulling her out of my pocket, checking things out, and putting her right back in after getting her back from Fluttershy and explaining why I was here again to the girls. Well, I explained after Buttercup got back from handing Mojo over to the local prison (I assume anyway since I never saw where she went).
I needed to keep Eris safe and there was a better alternative for that walking along with me.
"Since we're traveling on the sidewalks, I don't think that's a good idea. We'd be running into people the whole way."
"Yeah I guess that's true," I conceded, "but I'm still going to keep Fluttershy and myself invisible to prevent the crowd from staring at us. Neither of us are great with crowds."
I looked down at Fluttershy who gave me a small smile before looking away.
"Here you go Blossom," I said as I flipped my coin in the air to her. She barely had time to react, but then again due to honed reflexes she managed to grab it out of the air. "I need you to guide us for a while."
"Why do you need me to? Can't you still do it?"
"I need to keep up contact for the spell to work and I'm going to have my other hand on Bubbles so you know I'm still here."
"Can I stay invisible?" she asked.
"I... Don't know about that," I responded.
"Pleeeeease?"
"Aauugh. I do not have any defense against cute girls!"
"Thanks, but I already have a boyfriend," she said in a way that just seemed too innocent for words.
"Yeah, well, I respect the bro code even if I know I didn't have a chance anyway."
"Aww, you shouldn't think like that."
Is she grabbing my ar- Oh shit she's pressing them up and I have no defense I just said this what the hell do I do?
It wasn't the Rainbow Dash situation. Not by a mile. She had basically wrapped her arms around my left arm and pressed herself up to me in a way where my arm was now shoved in between her breasts. And yes, she was well-endowed if you had to know. If she didn't have super strength they would probably be murder on her back. Like, almost Tsunade from Naruto big.
...What was I saying? Oh right, I remember. I was stuck in that situation since I had no experience with close female contact. I mean look at my track recod. Lyra in human form gave me a kiss and I began to ponder the merits of letting her have her way with me. Rainbow Dash straddled me in the car and again I nearly went the whole way with someone who wasn't mentally right at the time. Well, this wasn't any better so I just acted.
"SureifyousaysoBubbles!" I blurted out faster than the Micro Machines Man. Don't know who that is? Well, for comparison he can talk fast than Pinkie Pie can. About 'end of a radio commercial' fast I believe and we'll end it right there.
They all giggled at my little outburst. As an outside observer I would have probably laughed at that too. I wish that I could be the suave ladies man, but I do not have what it takes for that to happen. If I had less moral fortitude I'd do what I did to Rainbow Dash and not care about the consequences from doing it. I'm not going to though because even if it is kind of my fetish, and I kind of hate admitting that, in real life it's wrong.
"Bubbles are you teasing him?" Blossom asked.
"Only a little," she admitted.
"What would Mac say if he found out?" Buttercup teased.
"As long as he knows it's just teasing and nothing more then he should be okay with it."
Bubbles let go of my arm and as she turned visible again I slowly started to calm down. I really needed to get some exposure to that kind of thing. Still, after regaining some composure I placed my hand back on Fluttershy's head and also on Bubbles' shoulder.
"You sure you want to have Bubbles guide you after that?" Buttercup ribbed.
"Now girls, we need to get moving," Blossom cut in. "You heard his explanation. We don't want anything bad to happen to anyone right?"
The comment seemed to sober up the mood some as her sisters nodded. I scoffed after we started off again.
"Honestly I rather like the light hearted mood. Being depressed all the time sucks. So while I am fine with Bubbles leading me, I am still flattered none the less at the offer to let me feel you up."
Buttercup's face went red as she sputtered over my comment.
"Tha-that's not what I meant!" she rattled off in defense.
"Oh? Bubbles said in a saccharine tone. "I remember you telling me before that you liked older guys."
Oh the look of horror on Buttercup's face. Bubbles' statement did have the effect of making me look her over them again. All three of them were impressively built specimens and were all extremely attractive. Like I said before, Bubbles' chest was quite oversized; especially considering her body type. Buttercup, on the other hand, was smaller than both her sisters in that department, but was still hovering between a b- and a c-cup so it wasn't like she would be ashamed at lacking anything.
"I do not want to have a talk about guys in front of a guy!!!" she yelled which also got the attention of the people still on the sidewalks.
"Powerpuff business people. Move along," Blossom told them decisively.
That must have been something pretty common because on cue everyone resumed what they were doing like nothing had happened.
"We need to keep moving," Blossom stated. "Every time we start talking we either slow down or stop."
"But this is fun," Bubbles countered. "We don't get to talk to many boys like this since we grew up. Other than your boyfriend and mine we barely talk to any of them."
"They're probably intimidated by you."
"They are," Blossom stated bluntly. "Bubbles is convinced that there's some other reason."
"Of course there is! We were friends once before so why shouldn't we be now?"
"To be blunt, it's hormones," I stated for her. "Both guys and girls in general start thinking differently once they have more hormones circulating through their body. It can have lots of effects on the body and the mind. Egh, now I feel like I'm giving you 'the talk'."
"Yeah, the Professor tried to give us the talk once," Blossom said.
"Didn't go well I take it?"
"No it didn't."
"Ironically it was Princess Morebucks who ended up telling us about it," Buttercup added. "It had more bragging than necessary, but she still gave us all the important parts we needed to hear."
"I see. Is she still a snooty bitch?"
"Yep."
"Buttercup! That's not a nice thing to say," Blossom admonished.
"It's still the truth. Telling him any different would just be a lie."
"I know, but still you didn't have to be so callously blunt about it."
"She's like that to us all the time !"
"We still shouldn't stoop to her level!"
"Why not? Because we're superheroes?"
"Exactly!"
"You know, maybe we should get walking," I stated trying to diffuse the scene before it got out of hand.
"Stay out of this!" they chorused.
"*sigh* Plan B it is."
A snap of my fingers later and two large buckets of ice water were dumped on their heads. The two began sputtering as they went to wiping off the excess water they were drenched in. Yeah, their clothes were see-through, but nothing indecent. It didn't last though as they both did a flaring aura trick that dried themselves off quickly. It was pretty cool looking too. Still, the water did it's trick as they weren't arguing with each other. Instead, they were simply glaring at me.
That was when things got a little... complicated. I didn't actually do anything. However, Eris started to glow in Blossom's hand. We all cast our gaze on her as a beam of light shot out and hit Blossom and Buttercup. Both of them were covered in light that corresponded with their usual color and when it died off... well, okay they had been switched into bikinis of matching color schemes. Now, looking back on that, I think that it was then that I should have realized that Eris was possibly reading my thoughts and actions and making moves on her own to placate to those; sort of like that movie called 'Click'. At the time, I just thought it had gone completely off on its own tangent and reacted to the scene that was unfolding.
Too bad I didn't have time to voice my opinion on any of this as they let off a scream and proceeded to punch me in the face. This ended just about as well as you'd think it would. Two people with super strength that I don't really have a clear estimate of punched me in the face in shock. They've picked up buildings casually before so I know it's pretty high tier. I may have durability on my side, but I did not have that kind of durability. As such, I only had a moment to recognize the pain before I was rendered unconscious.
Honestly? I could have died from that. Super strength is no joke. I remember hearing from someone that Spiderman once accidentally killed a villain by punching them too hard. I never looked into it, but honestly it surprised me. The motto that he lived by was 'with great power comes great responsibility' and knowing that even with that motto that he accidentally killed somebody really struck that home. Now, I know that they were a super villain so if he needed to punch that hard in the first place then he was throwing some serious weight into those punches. That would mean that his opponent probably had their own impressive durability. The parallels I'm drawing here are that even with good durability, enough force can bypass that and kill a person unless you hold back enough. Superman even said something similar to that. The point is that even though I had some enhanced durability due to a spell, when you get punched in the face by someone who has super strength and isn't reigning it in due to the fact that you surprised them enough to give you a pervert pulverizing punch then chances are unless you have zany cartoon recovery skills you are going to be in a world where things are not going to be good for you.
In retrospect, I think I was glad that I woke up after that had happened to me. Considering the fact that those punches could've killed me, I lend more weight to that assertion. The beeping of a heart monitor at least let me know that I was getting medical attention for what happened to me. I didn't open my eyes for a bit since I was trying to remember what went on. It took a few moments, maybe a minute, for me to recollect the predicament that led me here. I let out a sigh at the inane sequence of events and wondered how the hell I even managed to survive those blows.
"Good. It seems you are awake," a nasally voice spoke to me.
I opened my eyes and found a person hovering over me. It was a red haired man with thick glasses and freckles wearing a lab coat. He was too close for me to see any other features, but what I saw and heard had me thinking about how familiar they were.
"You must excuse my poor manners. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Dexter, Boy Genius."
Oh, yeah. I forgot. This was Powerpuff Girls PSHAWW! and this was Dexter, Blossom's boyfriend. Silly me. Oh, hi unconsciousness I thought we were done?
Author's Note
This section of chapters is based in the world of Powerpuff Girls PSHAW! It's a thread on Spacebattles that I had loose participation in and was created by AndrewJTalon . He's a fanfiction writer and has some work posted on this site too (as I've posted a link... duh me). I don't think he cares if I place this story in his fictional universe. I think I even asked him a long time ago, but forgot.
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
Don't Feel Quite Like Myself
I wasn't originally sure how long I was unconscious for after that brief time I was awake. I just knew that the beeping noise I heard meant that I wasn't asleep anymore. Again I opened my eyes, but this time there wasn't anyone hovering over me. With a grunt of effort, I pushed myself up to a sitting position and took a look around.
I wasn't in a hospital. The room I was in was barren minus the bed and heart monitor. The walls, floor, and ceiling were all a stale grey color. There was only a single door to the room that was a slightly darker grey than everything else. It took a bit before I realized something that should have been obvious.
I could see all of this. I could see without my glasses. For perspective, if I squint I can see clearly for about eight or nine inches away from my face. If I looked at a person from about ten feet away you could interchange them with another person in the same clothes and I wouldn't be able to tell the difference between them. That's how bad my myopia was. The fact that I could make out the handle on a door that was across the room about twenty feet away without my glasses was, to pardon the pun, a real eye opener. I had excellent vision for the first time in my life.
I barely had time to revel in it when the door opened to reveal Dexter walking in with a clipboard. He took note of me briefly before closing the door and walking up to the bed.
"Salutations my good man. It is good to see you awake."
"I'm just glad I'm not dead after that punch," I quipped; not fully grasping why I could suddenly see so well.
"I am quite astounded to see you awake so soon as well. It has only been forty hours and thirty seven minutes since your cranial trauma occurred."
"Shit," was my blunt reply.
"But of course. However, your recovery from the injuries you were inflicted with is most expeditious."
"It is?"
"Quite so. You received two simultaneous blows to your supraorbital processes which caused massive damage to your eyes, skull, and brain as well. I was informed that after you had been struck that you went flying into the street, clipped a vehicle, started tumbling end over end, crashed into a brick structure back first, and collapsed on the other side of the devastated area upon a pile of debris."
I heard him say that and was instantly glad that I lost consciousness so quickly after it happened.
"How am I not a bundle of bruises and pain right now then?" I asked looking myself over. I was thankful that I was still in my regular clothes even if they looked pretty ragged.
"I am quite curious over this situation myself. For some reason after the surgery I performed you do not have any marks on your person that would indicate that any of those events happened in the past two days."
"Wait, wait, wait, what surgery?" I said in quite the incredulous tone.
"After your injuries occurred Blossom brought you to me instead of a proper medical establishment out of... concern? Yes, concern and after an examination we determined that the frames and glass from your eyewear had done massive damage to your eyes. After determining the extent of the damage to the entire area of the head, we found we could reconstruct everything to its former state except for your eyes. The other tissues were easy to repair and any damage you received to your brain seemed to no longer appear after a second inspection. None of us wanted you to be blind and since growing you a new pair wasn't conceivable without a previous scan on file of your working eyes we came to the consensus that we would replace them with a synthetic pair instead.
"After coming to this conclusion we removed the foreign objects and the remains of your former eyes and began to attach your new ones to your optic nerves. As soon as they were in place and functioning properly, we finished restoring the rest of your damaged head areas and let you rest and recover. I was quite surprised when you momentarily regained consciousness. It had only been twelve minutes and eighteen seconds after the surgery was completed. It was much too soon for such a thing."
I sat there and listened to him as I tried to process what I had heard. The thing most on my mind was my eyes, obviously. I had lost the eyes I was born with. I knew I could see better with this pair, but having to need the other pair removed was still kind of a metaphorical kick to the gut. They were a part of me after all. I had lost them, and in such an inane manner too. I'd been punched blind . If I hadn't read a fanfiction where that had happened, I wouldn't have thought it was possible.
A hand on my shoulder brought me back to my senses.
"I... can get past this. I mean. I'm not blind anymore right? And I can see better with these eyes anyway."
Just hearing myself say that out loud made me feel better about it.
"I am glad you are feeling better."
"So... is it just a synthetic eye or do they do anything that a normal eye wouldn't?"
"I am Dexter, Boy Genius," he scoffed. "Of course they can do other things. However, most of the features it normally uses are inaccessible without other attachments or a proper power source."
"I can't do anything about the attachments, but I bet I can work out an alternative power supply."
"Ah yes. I remember Blossom stating that you had used some form of energy manipulation though she was not so forthcoming on the finer details."
"It's probably because it's magic."
Upon hearing that, Dexter let off a derisive sigh.
"There is no such thing as magic. Only science can explain the mysteries of the cosmos."
"In this universe, I can accept that as a possibility. However, alternative universes can exist on a fundamentally different level so as to create an environment where magic is an accepted form of one's daily life in much the same manner as Newtonian physics are a staple of the universe here. For example-"
I lifted my hand up and encompassed Dexter's glasses with magic before pulling them off of his face.
"That is merely a trick using anti-gravitons."
"If you feel like being skeptical, that's fine. I don't have to validate magic to do what I came to do. Though in that regard I bet you would believe the issue of a rip in space that could destroy the universe to be real. I'm pretty sure that's scientifically possible."
Dexter moved into a classic thinking man pose as he processed that info.
"That scenario is a possibility. Such an instance has never been documented before."
"We both know that just because something hasn't been seen before that doesn't mean it doesn't exist."
"It just hasn't been recorded for proper study."
"Just like magic."
I held up my hand before he started to dispute me again.
"I'm just messing with you a little. Now, let's talk about these new eyes while we get moving."
"Indeed," he began as I slipped out of the bed onto, to my surprised, a heated floor which was an interesting feeling on my bare feet. "The eyes you were given were originally designed for an observation-type synthetic humanoid."
He said that and I immediately thought Terminator.
"As you have a normal body, you would be incapable of using the accelerated processing functions. That leaves the functions that the eyes themselves are capable of. The foremost of them, and the easiest to access, is changing their color. Every color possible under the rainbow can be set in both your iris and sclera. It requires no energy expenditure since it merely changes how the light is refracted through them."
That's pretty neat.
"The next function generated an electric current from a proper power supply and ran it through the artificial nervous system and would form a concentrated release point from the eyes that, depending on how long it was charged, could release anywhere from one hundred and fifty volts to twenty five thousand volts. Your body's nervous system should work as a suitable replacement in that regard, though I would reconsider using it in that manner as you have no insulation nor any form of grounding to mediate the current."
Oh well, maybe I could figure out a work-around for it. In the meantime...
"Hey Dexter?"
"What is the matter?"
"Are you going to stand there all day?" I asked standing by the door.
"You did not wish to change into a different set of clothing?"
"Where would I be hiding those? Up my ass?"
Dexter gave me an irritable look and pointed towards the machine that I thought was a heart monitor. Underneath the readout machine on top were two shelves. One shelf held my shoes and socks while the other had a new shirt and a pair of pants that were similar in appearance to what I was wearing.
"Yeah, I guess I should've paid more attention," I said as I walked back to the bed.
"Indeed. Now, the eyes were part of a larger information collection system so the eyes themselves needed to be able to collect information in a variety of methods which required a small amount of power to utilize properly."
"What do you mean 'a variety of methods' exactly?" I asked while pulling up my new pants.
"The methods, which were used for data collection and threat assessment in case you were to ask, were varied to see in infrared, ultraviolet, and in x-ray format to get full visual detail."
...I had x-ray vision? I had fucking x-ray vision?! These eyes are awesome!!! I was suddenly not sad at all about losing my old eyes. Dexter still had his back turned to me so he didn't see any of my odd reactions to hearing that.
"Are there any other functions that they're capable of?" I asked as calmly as I could given the information I received.
"Nothing that would work without supplementing it with other items. Are you finished? We need to make haste to this rift that you speak of in order to determine it's danger, if any, to the world."
"Just need to put on my shoes," I replied slipping the other sock on.
"Well please expedite the process as your animal friend is most concerned about you."
Heh, it was funny how similar this was to when I first arrived in a Equestria a year ago. Well, kind of similar as that instance was just Rainbow Dash barreling into me and this time was me getting socked in the face due to shenanigans. Still, in both cases I was knocked unconscious with Fluttershy keeping a concerned watch over me. Would this turn into a long term pattern? I certainly hoped not. It felt a bit too soon to make that leap in logic anyway.
After putting on my shoes, the two of us exited the room. I was astounded at what I walked into. It was Dexter's Laboratory. It was massive. It was impressive. It was beyond my ability to describe properly. The sights, like the light boards, test tubes, and arcing electricity, the sounds, like the multi-tonal beeps, sliding equipment, and engine noise, and even the smells, such as ammonia, bleach, and a bit of a musty animal tinge, were so overwhelming that I froze in place just to take it all in.
"It is most impressive is it not? I welcome you to Dexter's Laboratory!"
Nice. He even said it like he did in the show.
"Now that you've seen it we must be going," he said in a rush and started walking in front of me. Basically he was leading me out in a hurry. "Normally I would be keeping you here for observation, but my sister, Deedee, is visiting soon and I must prepare for her properly."
"Wait, weren't you going to come with me to see the rift in space-time?"
"My sister's visit requires much more of my attention. Blossom said something about how you would understand and I value her judgement on matters of the human psyche."
Yeah, I think I do. It just isn't for the reason you think. I get the feeling that he either hasn't heard the narrator before or is living in a state of denial. It was kind of making things weird in my head so I let it drop without saying a word. If things made sense here for them, then pointing it out may do things I'd rather not be responsible for.
It took us a few minutes at our brisk pace to walk through that scientist's wet dream. After we did, we exited not through his room like I though we would but onto a small metal balcony hanging off the back of the house. It felt like some Looney Toons, misdirection type craziness. Of course, thinking back on it was not a wise course of action. Dexter's room in the show was on the second floor, yet just like now there wasn't any visual evidence of anything the size of that lab on the exterior of the house. All I could think of was either he had access to portals, which I doubted since I didn't see any, he got hooked up with time lord technology, how he would have I just don't know, or he's using Hanna-Barbara, this-doesn't-fit-here-but-I-made-it-fit-anyway, laws of reality-bending bullshit that no one thinks about and just accepts it anyway. My money was on number three.
In the backyard, the Powerpuff Girls were sitting around a wooden picnic table with Fluttershy and a couple of people I didn't recognize. One was a brown haired boy sitting next to Bubbles. He was wearing a red plaid sweater vest over a white shirt with some blue jeans and white sneakers. The other woman was a blonde with twin pigtails eyeing Fluttershy with what I could only describe as 'hungry eyes'. She was wearing a pink t-shirt and pink jeans with some open toed white and pink shoes.
"It seems I am too late. Though your friend seems to be occupying her attention."
"I guess that must bee Deedee then. Who's the guy?"
"That is Bubbles' boyfriend Mac."
"From Foster's place right?"
"Correct."
A hand was placed on Dexter's shoulder and I teleported the two of us down to the side of the picnic table where they could see us. As I did, I adjusted the volume of my voice for a quick prank. An ironic echo if you would.
"HI DEEDEE!!!"
The effect was perfect. She rocketed out of her seat in a curve that took her over the picnic table where she landed face first in the grass. Everyone was a bit disheveled from it despite how it was aimed at Deedee. Still, they all recovered pretty quickly; even Fluttershy to my surprise.
"Turnabout is fair play," I said at my normal voice level.
"I haven't done that to him in a while," Deedee said back on her feet looking like nothing had happened.
"It was overdue then."
She responded with a huff and simply looked away.
"Are you feeling better?" Fluttershy quietly asked.
"I'm about as good as I can be, which is actually better than before since I don't need glasses anymore!"
"That sounds nice," she said a bit more comfortably than before. "I was really worried about you when, well, you know."
"We're really sorry about that," Buttercup said.
"We let our emotions get the better of us," Blossom continued. "We should never let that happen."
"In the thick of battle I can agree with that. That wasn't battle, though. That was us walking down the street and a perverted comedy gag went off. Having emotions are not a bad thing. As people we should treasure them. Just think about using appropriate force. A slap would've been more on that level than a full-on punch. Just saying."
"We understand. Our grandfather has scolded us and on his recommendation, we will offer any reasonable recompense."
"Wow. Jack has really stressed the importance of the code of honor into you."
"Yes, he has," Blossom answered slowly.
"Don't worry about recompense or anything. Dexter gave me new eyes and they work immensely better than my old ones. If I was still blind I'd probably be bitter about it and take you up on your offer."
Still, when I go back home and see my optometrist I'm going to be having an interesting conversation. Even more so considering he's my uncle. There's no way that wouldn't get to the rest of my family. Rich would tell Susan, Susan would tell my dad, and my dad would be looking into this within twenty fours hours. Well, in that regard it would be good enough proof to tell my family about what's going on. I care enough about them that I've been wanting to tell them, but without proof I'd just be getting the psychiatric care treatment. Not to mention that I've always walked a fine line with my dad about anything unconventional. I doubt it would go over well with him no matter what. I'd have to think about all of that later in better detail.
"I didn't want to ask this," Blossom began, "but it's something that was bugging me from when you attacked Mojo Jojo's robot. That sword you were using... It looked exactly like our grandfather's sword. It even had the same aura."
"It probably was. Chaos magic remember?"
Surprisingly, everyone there except Fluttershy gave me an astonished look. To my amazement, it was Mac who spoke to me first.
"But Bubbles' grandfather's sword is never let out of his sight! She told me that he may not use it all the time, and almost never when he spars with them, but it's always nearby him. How could you have possibly wielded his sword?"
"Why is chaos magic not a good enough answer for anybody here? I mean, I can literally warp reality with it! Seriously, chaos magic is basically where I tell the laws of physics to go fuck themselves. Then, those laws turn into a couple of animals, get turned on by each other, and proceed to have sex with each other. Thus my statement becomes literal. Magic!" I finished while shaking my hands in a goofy flailing manner.
Facepalms. Facepalms everywhere.
"Let's just ask our grandfather," Blossom said. "He might have better answers for us."
"As cool as it would be for me to see Samurai Jack, I've got to close up that rift. I still have four more to go after that one and being out of it for a couple of days certainly isn't a helpful measure. Where's Eris?"
Blossom dug into a pocket and pulled her out. She looked like the color had been drained from the surface and was now several shades of grey. I picked her up out of Blossom's hand and stared for a moment with concern. Then, I realized why, closed my hand around her, and held her up to my forehead.
"Don't worry about it. You didn't know what would happen. I forgive you."
There was a warm glow that led me to open my hand. As I watched, Eris' normal color returned and the glowing ceased soon afterwards. Yeah, the thing was temperamental, but she was mine. I'd have to deal with anything that came from it.
"We decided after you got hurt to find that rift of yours and we think we know where it is," Blossom stated. "Now that you're awake, we can take you there."
"Sounds good. Let's head out."
Well, the eye thing was interesting, but the rift is why I came. Time to go finish up.
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
Fuzzy Lumpkins. What the fuck man? The second I ask where we were headed, I was told that we were going to the Lumpkins' family home. It's like you're being told you're headed to the Hulk's house. Nothing good is going to come from that. For the record, the two are not on the same level of strength. It's that Fuzzy can become sort of like a rage monster if you trespass on his property. The same can be said if you mess with his banjo. Guess which one I was going to be stuck doing?
I didn't get informed of where we were headed before we left. Just that they knew where the rift was. A bit secretive of them for no reason I could discern. The didn't stop Deedee or Dexter from declining to come with us. Apparently, the preparations that he was making were simply because his parents had told him to set the table for a family get together that was going to take place for the rest of the day. A lunch then and a dinner later. That also meant he couldn't explain any of the functions of my new eyes in any sort of detail. Knowing this he gave me a printout of the functions so that I could read them myself. It was a hundred and eighteen pages long. That was how long it was with just information relative to what I could possibly do with them. He had also said that he dumbed it down for me so I could comprehend it properly; the smug jerk.
I didn't have a chance to read it as I was carried the whole way there by Buttercup. I didn't go in a fireman's carry nor under the shoulders. I ended up being carried bridal style. It was so odd that I couldn't even comprehend it until she said something while we were in the air that really shocked me.
"Don't read into this. I kinda like older guys, that's all."
I simply stared at her for a minute.
"What? What's with the look?"
"You haven't been hypnotized right? Like by accident or-"
"Shut up! I should've kept my mouth shut. And don't tell anybody I said that or I'll beat you up!"
"Alright, alright, I won't!"
I didn't until now. Somebody hadn't learned their lesson. I did check to see if anyone messed with her head just in case I fucked up again, but I couldn't feel anything wrong. If something had been done to make her think that way then at least it wasn't my fault. That's really the only solace I would take from it.
For the record the only reason she was the one carrying me was because Fluttershy was being carried by Blossom and Bubbles was busy carrying Mac who had decided to come along. In all the time he had been around there he hadn't ever run into any of the Lumpkins' family. He had wanted to meet them for awhile, but didn't want to trespass for fear of being shot at. I can understand that.
It took the six of us fifteen minutes to get to the hillside that belonged to Fuzzy. We all touched down on the trail that led up to their house. I didn't see the rift from the air, but there was quite a bit of forested area out there. I wonder how they knew it was there if they couldn't see it? Life is full of mysteries I just couldn't get answers to. Well, that or they used an aerial search pattern with the coin as a guidance point. Not sure about that since Eris seemed to be the equivalent of catatonic.
It took a few moments before a lone figure was spotted coming down the hill. I thought it would be Fuzzy himself, but I realized that they were too slender to be Fuzzy. As they got closer, I became awestruck as I realized who it was. He was of Asian decent wearing his black hair up in a topknot. He was wearing a white Chinese silk shirt with long sleeves and a pair of what seemed to be over-sized black pants. It wasn't until he got closer that I could see that it was just the legs that were too big and the rest was fit properly. I bet that was designed as such for easier running and other movement. On his feet, he was wearing a pair of wooden sandals with black straps. Even without some of his normal features, the sheer presence surrounding him as well as the katana hanging on his belt led me to a single conclusion.
I was in the presence of Samurai Jack. I think I almost squeed.
"Greetings everyone. I have managed to convince Mr. Lumpkins to allow us temporary passage onto his property to remove the... what was it called again?"
It took me a moment to realize that he was talking to me.
"I just think it's a spacial rift so I'm just calling it a rift or a tear," I told him a bit softly.
"I see. Once we repair the damage we are to leave immediately. Does everyone understand?"
"Yes sir!" the four natives chorused.
"Are we going to see Fuzzy sir?" Mac asked with mild excitement.
"As long as we do not overextend our welcome we should not have any issues that require his attention. He is merely going to observe us from his home."
An aww of disappointment came from Mac as Bubbles let out a giggle and patted him on the head. I ignored them pretty much. Instead, I placed my hands at my sides and gave a deep bow to Jack.
"Samurai Jack, you have my deepest gratitude not just for your assistance here, but for all the deeds you have performed in the name of defeating Aku. You are a true hero and an inspiration."
"Please, there is no need for such graciousness. I simply did what needed to be done. I dare say I owe you a bit of gratitude for assisting my granddaughters the other day. Though I am glad to see there was no permanent harm done from their later mishap."
I stood back up and looked at the two in question. It seems that they either underplayed the damage done or they already told him that I received the new eyes and he determined that since I could still see that that constituted no permanent harm in his mind. Either way I decided to play along so nobody would get upset.
"Nah. It's all good now," I said and turned back to face him. "They apologized and I forgave them so there's no ill will there. All that's left is for us to save the day."
"I am glad to hear that. We should hurry along. Mr. Lumpkins' patience is not very long."
A few agreeing nods later and we started up the hill. I will say that when we passed by Fuzzy's shack, and believe me it was little more than a wooden shack, a few minutes later I could easily feel the weird vibe coming from it that let me know someone was watching us despite no one being outside. It weakened after we passed it by, but it never really went away as we continued on. I pulled Eris out of my pocket and performed a quick check to see where to head. It turned out to be unnecessary as Jack had already pinpointed the location when he was speaking with Fuzzy earlier. Apparently Fuzzy wanted to claim the thing as his since it was on his property already. He almost didn't give up on that until he had it explained to him, three times I might add, that it could destroy the rest of his property if left alone. It still took a bit of effort to smooth things over before we were allowed to rectify things.
As it was, the rift was held in place on the trunk of a tree. I expected some kind of issue to prevent me from just finishing the whole thing up but nothing was there waiting for me. Pretty much as anticlimactic as you might think. Then again, if I had just come here before without getting those knockout blows we would have just walked onto the hill and ended up fighting Fuzzy and perhaps some of his kinfolk. I guess that was the trade off. I got my face bashed in there so I missed the boss fight. I missed getting fighting experience and instead I received some kick ass new eyes.
I think that's a fair trade. I'm not really a direct fighter anyway. I'm more of a misdirection-based attacker. It shows in the spells I know. Invisibility, illusions, teleportation, all of these are better for fooling an opponent and picking my spots. That beautiful 'warp kamehameha' I pulled off is my prime example of this. I think 'stealth mage' is probably the best term I could come up with to describe it, but I bet someone else would have a better one.
"Alright! Time to fix things and get Fluttershy back to her friends. Are you ready Fluttershy?"
Said mare shrunk back a little with attention now directed on her.
"I, um, yes. I'm ready," she said a little shakily.
I bent down on a knee beside her and held out Eris. I gave her an encouraging smile as well before she gave a hint of a smile herself and reached out and took her from my hand. Then, she walked in a slow gait over to the rift. She held Eris out to the rift, hesitated a bit, and looked away with her eyes closed as she placed Eris up to it. There was a small flash as the rift closed up around the point of contact. Fluttershy opened one eye, then the other, and finally she settled down and walked back over to me.
"Good job Fluttershy. You did great," I praised.
"Oh, um, it was nothing really. Eris did all of the work."
"But without you nothing would've worked at all. You were essential here."
I glanced down at Eris, which was still in her hoof, and noted that it was counting down again. This time there was still over two minutes there.
"It's time to head back to Equestria though. We've got four more of these to fix."
"Maybe we can come along!" Buttercup said excitedly. "That might be a good way to help you for what we did."
"If only you could Buttercup. You wouldn't be able to survive the trip let alone come back. I wouldn't want to do that."
She sagged a little at hearing that. Blossom placed a knowing hand on her sister's shoulder that helped get her back to normal quickly enough.
"Well, this trip was much better than the last one anyway. The people actually like me here."
"You are most kind in your words stranger. May your quest end in success," he said with a slight bow.
"Well, thank you very much sir," I said while returning the small bow with one of my own. "If I ever find my way back here under non-hazardous circumstances I'd love to hear about how you did make things right."
"I do not usually like to talk about it, but I shall think upon doing so."
"Good enough for me."
"Come and say hi if you're ever around," Blossom said.
"Don't be a stranger!" Bubbles cried happily.
"Yeah, all that mushy goodbye stuff and whatever," Buttercup said dismissively.
"Yeah, I don't know you very well yet, but you seem nice," Mac said trying to be nice.
"I'll take it."
Thirty seconds left to go. It felt a bit awkward when goodbyes were said and we were still there. Near the end of it, Fluttershy tugged on my shirt to get my attention.
"I-I guess... maybe I could start to trust you a little maybe."
I didn't even get a chance to ask what she was talking about before the light from Eris appeared and whisked us off to our next destination.
Author's Note
I had to finish this chapter from my mobile phone since my computer suddenly decided that it hated anything to do with the internet. If anyone sees some issue or spelling goofs let me know. I can't check things out well enough from here.
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
It didn't take long for the temporary blindness to subside. When it did I was once again greeted by the sight of fives mares staring at me and Fluttershy as well most likely.
"Alright, first things first. Twilight you were right. I should've put more thought into the order into the order in which I travel through these rifts. Still, from the look of things on the other side there aren't any significant differences to the rift's stability or anything from what I can see."
"Speaking of which," she responded, "where are your glasses? I've never really seen you without them."
"Ah yes... this," I said hesitantly. "Well I... kind of... got punched so badly that I went blind."
A series of gasps went out as they all got in close.
"Oh my stars what happened?" Rarity asked first.
"Well it was an accident that involved the concept of human modesty and a convention of humor that surrounds it."
"Ohhhhh!" Pinkie exclaimed. "So Eris turned the clothing of a couple of superheroes into something revealing which prompted them to get embarrassed and punch the closest guy, which happened to be you, in the face which then rendered you blind from the blunt force trauma and that required them to help you out because they're superheroes after all so they took you to their secret laboratory and got their good friend to help you who then gave you some new eyes to replace your old ones and now you can see better than ever!" she finished with a flourish.
...The fuck was that? Did she just pull an Equestria Girls on me? I didn't even get to reveal that these weren't the same eyes! Damn it Pinkiedamus!
"Umm... yeah. That's right, more or less," I said lamely.
"They socked ya one over sonthin' that wasn't even yer fault? That just ain't right!"
"Female modesty is a very delicate thing for humans. The slightest sense of wrongdoing in their eyes can easily set them off. Add that to the probability of gag humor in fictional realities and the chances of a physical reaction to embarrassment are substantially high."
"There's also the possibility that they thought you had Eris do it on purpose and they acted according to that assumption," Twilight explained. "What did you mean by fictional realities though? Is that similar to what you said before about us?"
"That's right Twilight. Heh. Um, yes, I told you all before that you were all a television show where I'm from. Well, the same principle is sort of in effect with these places. All of these are based on television shows as well."
"But what about the world we went to darling?"
"Or the one we went to? There were a whole bunch of super sad ponies everywhere I went and nothing I did seemed to make them feel any better."
"Yeah it's similar, like I said, but not quite the same thing. You see, all of these worlds are based off of these shows, but each of them have their own interpretation or change made to them. They're what's called fanfiction. It would be, for example, if Rainbow Dash decided to write a Daring Do book with herself helping out along the way."
"Oh my gosh! That would be so cool!"
"And that's exactly what they think too. I've tried doing that myself without any success. These people have had that success. Each of these worlds are a depiction of a world from a fanfiction that was at least a moderate success if not more. The one with Applejack is called 'The Phantom in the Machine' and is a mashup of Ghost in the Shell and Danny Phantom. The last one was 'Powerpuff Girls PSHAW!' and is a bit of a humor driven, multi-author skit fiction piece started by a guy with the moniker of AndrewJTalon.
"Even the two you just mentioned are like that. The one Rarity talked about is called 'Ungrounded' and is about a mage whose spell gets messed up and is sucked into Equestria. The one Pinkie went to is called 'Rebel Against the Night'. That one is a cross between you guys and a show called Code Geass. The premise for that one is about when you used the Elements of Harmony on Nightmare Moon that instead of erasing that part of Luna, it separated from her and traveled through what I would describe as the outskirts of the multiverse before coming into the universe that contained the story of Code Geass. When there, she used a mineral native to that world which had magical properties and with it turned every human on the planet into a pony. I'm willing to bet that's half the reason why it would be difficult to cheer them up."
"That does sound really sad," Pinkie replied.
It was probably less than half if you knew more about the story that was going on.
"Yeah and that's where we're headed next. Fluttershy."
"Um, yes?"
"Can I have Eris back please?"
"Oh! Um, of course," she said bashfully.
She held up her hoof and I took back Eris.
"Thanks for keeping her safe."
"Oh, it was nothing really."
"Okay then. Last thing. Each of these have made a vague mention of me in them except this one and the one Rainbow Dash was in. I can't make- no, we can't make big waves in these or else something possibly bad could happen. When I was there last time, I caused a small ruckus, but somehow the scene I stumbled upon made no mention of me and actually cut off before I interfered. I'm pretty sure I got lucky in this instance. If we mess up canon then I have no idea what the consequences could be."
"Don't you worry!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed. "We will be totally invisible to them. Even more than when you're invisible! We'll sneak behind enemy lines, close that rift, and be back here before anypony even notices we were there. Which they won't because we'll be invisible. And when everyone's done, I'll throw a party!"
I swear that I felt the icy breath of Murphy all over my neck.
"Let's just focus on these one at a time Pinkie Pie," Twilight advised, "and Seth, I don't need to tell you to be careful, but I still think I should after the fact that you got yourself hurt."
"Nah, I understand, but I think I'm going to wait to go there. I need to go over the notes Dexter left me on these new eyes of mine."
"What notes?" she asked a bit excitedly.
I reached into my pocket and pulled out a tiny binder no bigger than the palm of my hand. A quick wave my hand and the binder grew to it's normal size. I then opened it up and let Twilight take a look. Again, I was happy about the enhanced durability I had now because I had still been on a single knee since I had given Fluttershy that praise in Powerpuff world.
"My eyes have an instruction manual. I think I'd like to make sure I know how to use them properly or to make sure that I don't do something that might end up blinding myself again. I like being able to see."
"Oh come on!" Rainbow Dash cried. "We've been here all day and all night and now into the morning! I'm getting hungry and tired here!"
...Wow. I suck as a friend. I was so focused on fixing one problem that I ended up not noticing a developing one here. They all looked a bit haggard, even Rarity to a very minor degree. I needed to help alleviate. that somehow. To that end, I performed a double-handed snap of my fingers and several items popped into existence. The first things were six beds of matching color to their fur. The other thing was a giant table filled with assorted vegetables and other items and drinks that were herbivore friendly.
"I didn't realize until now how bad of a person I've been by ignoring how you were doing. I was too focused on doing what I needed to do to fix these rifts. I should have been more considerate."
"Yeah you shoulda," Rainbow Dash said before she was elbowed by Applejack.
"You shouldn't be frettin' so much about it. It ain't like we can't hunker down for a spell over somethin' like this."
"But you shouldn't have to. Especially now that we know we caught these early enough to take some time to approach them cautiously. So therefore we can afford to take a break, get some food, take a nap, and get back to solving the problem. I think we could all use a break about now."
A few nods were given and everyone ended up taking some time to get something to eat and drink; myself included. I did notice while I was eating that after I drew some power from Eris that while my reserves were topped off, she only had seven percent left. That could be an issue. It was a bit surprising even though it shouldn't have been. I didn't have nigh infinite power after all. It just kind of felt like I did since I had been capable of all those acts without much of a care.
I'd need to take care of that later. For the time after I was done eating, both Twilight and I decided to read through the binder of notes. I did tell her that she ought to get some rest like everyone but Fluttershy was doing, but she insisted on reading it with me since it was too fascinating of an unknown to pass on. Therefore the two of us took on the task of learning about my eyes.
I did learn quite a bit. I learned not just about my eyes but also about Twilight Sparkle as well. She read quite a bit faster than I did. She was often done with the right page when I had only gotten about two-thirds of the way on the left page. She was also pretty impatient while waiting for me to catch up and turn the page. She didn't say anything but it was really obvious. That wasn't really too big of a deal.
The big deal was how the eyes worked. I was able to discern how to make the color shift thing work as well as the infrared and ultraviolet vision too. I even found out that with practice I could do the Kaa eye trick which I always found cool. I also figured out a possible bypass to get the lightning eyes. That still needed to be tested first because it could mess me up. I tore through the whole binder to try and see how the x-ray function worked. I needed power, which I could convert directly from magic into proper electricity. After that, I needed to set the functions inside properly so that I didn't project them outwards, which could cause who or whatever I was looking at harm as well as to myself, and instead filtered the image traveling through my eyes to a certain level of transparency.
I wanted to call bullshit because x-rays needed to travel into and through an object to work, but I wanted x-ray eyes more so I just let it go. Even better was a fun little trick Twilight got me to think about. Since the eyes were sending information to my brain, why couldn't they send it elsewhere? Memories are just files in your brain. Why not create a spare memory device for the things I see? The eyes were synthetic after all. I didn't have a way to do it yet, but I would try to find a way later.
I timed it with my watch, which I was glad Dexter didn't remove now that I think about it, and noted that it took two hours and forty nine minutes for us to finish reading all of it. Twilight actually looked giddy after we were done. All that shiny new knowledge would do that to her. It did for me, though that was more because I was wanting to test out the features myself. Ultraviolet and infrared were interesting, but were not that useful at the time. The lightning I saved for later. The eye color thing was kind of hard since you can't look at your won eyes without a mirror. Rarity was helpful in that regard as she had brought one with her. About ten minutes of practice and feeling things out and I had gotten the hang of the basics.
I then began the work on the x-ray vision. It was actually pretty difficult. It felt similar to how I changed eye color so I kept doing that for a bit instead. Once I got it right, that became a bit of a chore as well. Three characteristics went into proper x-ray vision and those were alignment, power, and speed. Alignment was in order to pick the subject or area with proper precision. Power was about how much you required to see through certain objects and went hand in hand with speed. Speed, in this instance, meant oscillation speed or more specifically the amount of times an image is filtered with x-rays of specific intensity. It was a really delicate dance between the latter two parts since as long as I was locked on to what I wanted to look at the first part was actually pretty easy. I was glad that the power consumption required for it was almost negligible. It would've made it a selective option to use sparingly. Almost twenty minutes of testing later and I had gotten it down really well. I will add that pony skeletal structure is pretty neat. The density between each tribe is quite interesting.
Once I was finished, I knew it was time to head to the next area. Twilight and I woke up Pinkie from her nap without any difficulty and the three of us went to the rift where Fluttershy was waiting at.
"Alright Pinkie are you ready?" I asked.
"I'm soooo ready!" she answered.
"Time to put my gameface on!"
A swirl of colors surrounded me and I took on the same appearance as the last time I was there. I once again looked like a portly blue stallion with a white mane and a white horseshoe cutie mark surrounded by a golden glow. Twilight and Fluttershy were both quite confused.
"Why do you look like that?" Twilight asked.
"Everyone there are ponies remember? I need to blend in."
"Wouldn't it be better to be invisible?"
"I arrive and leave in a large flash. I'm not sure that would matter. I do need to be subtle while I'm there and by I I mean both Pinkie and me. Right Pinkie?"
"Okie dokie lokie!"
I cringed a little inside hearing that.
"Last thing before I go. I need another translation spell from you Twilight. Pretty much everyone there is speaking another language."
"Oh you are so lucky I did some more research on that. Before it only translated the first spoken language you heard after being cast. Now it can translate any language you hear into the one you are most familiar with."
"Thank you merciful Princess Twilight," I deadpanned. "But seriously thanks for doing that."
Twilight rolled her eyes and then flared her horn as she activated her spell. One purple hue later and the spell was complete.
"Okay! Let's get things moving," I said and placed my hand on Pinkie's mane. "World three is go!"
I placed my hand on the rift and once again we disappeared in a bright flash. It didn't take long to hear some astonished gasps. It was probably because of our abrupt entrance. At least until I opened my eyes and realized that it was only a part of it. I had appeared inside of a large hall decorated in lots of black and blue over pristine white walls. There were quite a few ponies standing to either side of a long red carpet that divided the room in half and led up to a large throne.
A throne that had a glaring Nightmare Moon sitting upon it.
Only in that moment did I realize just how bad of an idea it was to keep the same appearance as before. It just made me easier to remember. I did the only thing I could think of. I simply looked up to the ceiling and raised an angry fist to the unseen sky.
"CURSE YOU MURPHYYYY!!!!!"
Author's Note
I'd like to give a big thank you to CrossoverManiac for letting me use his story Rebel Against the Night in my fic again. He is all kinds of awesome and even more so since he has given me the go ahead to act like a fool in his story. Unless he takes it back which doesn't make him any less awesome. Check out his fic that this section and the next few will take place in. It's a great read.
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
Author's Note
WARNING!!!
The following chapter contains original lyrics created by the author. They were written over the course of one hour and were necessary to move the chapter forward since I didn't want to recycle 'Smile'. I've polled ten people at work, though, and all of them liked it. I don't have an actual tune in mind so any suggestions would be appreciated and perhaps added later.
Canon Fire
I was very unhappy about the situation I had been placed in. Both Pinkie Pie and I were standing not too far away from the evil Nightmare Moon. I was starting in a very unfavorable position. Her powers were being boosted from the sakuradite in the area, maybe even from the whole world. I doubted I could match her in power before she tapped into that so I knew I had no chance against her powered up form.
"So, the minor interloper returns," Nightmare Moon stated almost haughtily, "and during my public address no less."
I whipped around to notice the two cameras standing behind me. One was pointing at her and the other was pointing at Pinkie and me.
"So everybody is watching this right now?" I asked as I felt a sinking feeling start to come over me.
"Indeed. Though now it is to be a public execution."
...Well, fuck. She was going to kill me on top of things. I was being broadcast to everyone out there. There was no way that anybody important was missing this. That meant that all of the important characters of the story on this side of whatever was separating the two worlds were now watching this situation with great interest.
This was unsalvageable in my mind. It was so bad in my head that I almost missed the mist coming from Nightmare Moon because of that. So, I pretty much snapped. If I had no way to avoid it, then I would just have to break the whole thing spectacularly; consequences be damned.
I pushed my hand into Pinkie's mane and pulled out a small round object.
"Ninja vanish!" I yelled before tossing it to the ground.
The orb erupted into a large plume of smoke that quickly spread out and concealed the area. I quickly teleported us, after turning us invisible, to another part of the room. When the smoke cleared, we stayed where we were as it showed we were no longer there. You could see the anger on Nightmare Moon's face as her eyes turned pure white.
"Find them! Now!"
As some of the ponies started looking, I decided to just not give a shit anymore. I was pissed and Nightmare Moon was a plenty deserving target. A straight attack would be suicidal so I'd have to go for psychological. I quickly cast an illusionary voice projection spell over the whole room and started in.
"What's the matter Nightmare Moon?" I said a bit darkly. "Not liking anything that doesn't go your way?"
"You will show yourself you wild pony!"
I let out a nice dark chuckle. I kept up the dark tone since I wanted to feel menacing even if I didn't actually come across that way to anyone else. My laugh was damn good though.
"Or what? You already threatened to kill us. It doesn't get much worse than that. I think I'll stay hidden thank you very much."
"HOW DARE YOU DEFY EMPRESS NIGHTMARE MOON!"
"So feisty! Too bad you weren't like this when you were banished from Equestria."
"YOU WILL STAY YOUR TONGUE ABOUT THINGS YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND!"
I gave a throaty chuckle at that.
"Oh really? You were banished to the moon by Celestia for a thousand years and right after you get free what happened then?"
"SILENCE!"
"You were bansihed yet again by six ordinary ponies! Even your other half rejected you! That's what this is all about! The ponies relishing Celestia's daytime while they ignored and slept through your carefully crafted night. Everything you've done has been over simple. Petty. Jealousy!"
At that, Nightmare Moon raised both of her forelegs and stomped on the floor in front of her throne. From the newly cracked floor an invisible shockwave blew out into the room in somewhat of a straight line. This unfortunately tore a swath through most of the ponies present that were unlucky enough to be in the way. Pinkie and I were close enough to the back and side that it didn't affect us much. It also wasn't effective enough to get me to stop.
"Sounds like I understood plenty. You changed all of these people into ponies just for your sick gratification. You just want them to worship your night. How utterly despicable."
Yeah, she was frothing mad. She couldn't stop me from talking and was too mad to think about any alternatives. For someone who had been around for millennia, she behaved pretty much like a child.
"Well, I think I've broken that image you were portraying fairly well. I'd love to beat you myself, but that's not my place. Don't you worry though. Every nightmare ends when you wake up."
I was going to end it there, but I remembered something.
"Oh and if that camera is still on I have a message for Euphiemia. Your knight is still alive."
Yeah, it wasn't really necessary. She was just too nice of a person to have to suffer like that. She had really bad luck for a while now and losing everyone she cared about probably devastated her. A little good news could really help.
"Hope to see you never again!" I yelled before teleporting away with Pinkie.
Even when I teleported us to that street I met Ohgi at I could hear the angry, ear-piercing yell of frustration she unleashed.
"Wow, that was pretty mean," Pinkie stated.
"She's the reason that no one smiles. I'd say it's well deserved. But that's not doing anything right now. We need to seal that rift. I do not need to have something like that happen again."
Yeah, saying that probably meant it would happen now, but I was still a bit too miffed about what occurred with Nightmare Moon to care.
"I still wish there was something we could do to cheer everypony up. Just seeing all those sad faces is making me sad."
"I wish there was Pinkie. For most of them only the thought of becoming human or the end of Nightmare Moon's tyranny could possibly make them happy."
"Well why not try to do that? If it would make them happy then why not try?"
"Because I'm not powerful enough to do it. Only the Elements of Harmony and probably some combination of Geass and the human spirit are capable of defeating her once and for all."
"Well what about turning them back into humans? You did that to Ponyville before."
"They would just turn back after we left. I would just be giving them false hope. That could really make things worse."
"But what if-"
Pinkie was cut off as a pony accidentally ran into her. Our fault really as we were still invisible in the street. I was honestly surprised no one had already run into us as while it wasn't busy there were quite a few ponies walking about. I took a moment to teleport us into a nearby alley away from the now confused pony.
"It does pain me to see this many miserable peo- pon- folks, but it won't last. They won't even have a chance at being happy if we don't close that rift."
"Oh alright," she said dejectedly while staring into my eyes.
Fuck. As I saw this I thought about how concerned I was getting for Pinkie. She was starting to fall back into the state I found her in here last time. Depressed Pinkie is a bad thing. I meant that both practically and emotionally. Those eyes almost boring into me were the last straw that I didn't even know was there.
"Ahhh fine! I'll see about turning some of them human!"
"You will?" she said perking up.
"Yeah. Let's go somewhere else though."
As we started moving along I tried contemplating how bad of an idea that was. We'd be visible. We'd be calling attention to ourselves. I mentioned the false hope part already. None of it seemed like a good idea and yet I was doing it anyway. Why? In hindsight, I bet it was because of Pinkie. Almost definitely it was Pinkie. It was me being a sucker for girls again. It was the only illogical fact I could make sense of. It was probably under the section of 'don't make girls cry'.
The two of us made it to an area still being rebuilt and stopped there. I did my little flare trick and appeared as my pony self alongside Pinkie. It was more for attention grabbing than anything else. I stuck with my color scheme as well since subtlety was now pointless. It all still got the desired effect. Several dozen ponies trotted up to ask us about several different things. Was I the one on t.v.? How did I perform those feats? Was Nightmare Moon truly beatable?
Well, I didn't get to answer any of those questions because I had missed the two guard ponies nearby that immediately came after us.
"Halt! In the name of the Empress!"
"You mean the bitch in charge?" I quipped.
Oooh, they did not like that. The crowd held them up unintentionally just long enough for me to try a demonstration. I teleported behind the two guards as the crowd parted just enough for them. A fake plume of fire and everyone was now looking at me with slacked jaws. The reason for it was that I had dropped my illusion and now looked like my normal human self. I sneered for a second and balled up my fist while cloaking it in magic.
"It's clobbering time!"
A punch and a backhand to each guard respectively and I was no longer in danger... Well, no longer in danger from them. The crowd that rushed me? Not so much. At showing them a human in their midst any rational thoughts pretty much devolved into questions or demands about my human appearance. By then, I had had enough. I raised my hand, snapped my fingers, and froze everyone in place; even Pinkie unintentionally.
"Alright everyone listen up!" I yelled at the hundred or so ponies around me. "This is only temporary. I can turn you human. However! It isn't permanent! It'll last for a short while and it will come undone on it's own at random! Also, you'll probably remain naked unless you have clothes handy! I can't stay long either or more guards will come for me. Or worse..."
The ponies present all understood as I could see them shudder.
"Don't lose hope! When Nightmare Moon is defeated I can guarantee that you will return to human form for if she is the cause then her downfall will be the catalyst for your harmony!"
Yeah, I'm not good with words in public. Wait I managed to give a short speech in public ad not get nervous at all. That's a big ass flag for me. I could probably hand wave the other stuff because being angry earlier would override my stage fright. This was a different story altogether. I couldn't mull it over at that time, though, because I needed to be confident in front of the ponies who, I... still had frozen. Another snap and that was fixed. It wasn't quite what I was expecting. Some trepidation mixed with a bit of hope was pretty much what I got out of the faces in the crowd. I guess I should have expected I effectively froze the lot of them. Ain't hindsight awesome?
"Wow, you're a terrible salesperson aren't you?" Pinkie stated.
"I'm good at empathizing with the people nearby not giving them inspirational speeches," I bit back teasingly. "They want to be human again, but the way I'm offering it plus that show of power is making them rethink it a bit. It's not like they know if I'm better or not. Scaring them isn't going to help me any."
"Maybe you shouldn't sound so gloomy when you talk to them. You sound like you're reading the label on cough medicine. That isn't going to make anypony happy."
There were a few murmurs in the crowd, but I couldn't hear them. They had dispersed some so it was more around forty or so ponies now. That didn't matter as I could feel the beginnings of random song magic in the area. With Pinkie there, I already knew it would be her so I teleported a fair distance away and hoped I wouldn't get caught up in it. The music began and was uplifting with a hint of somberness to it. Not a bad situational tune really.
"I know you all are sad all day,
Here and there and everywhere,
We all can make a big difference,
Why not leeend a haaand?
By the end of the first chorus she had managed to regrow the size of the crowd well past the original tally. They were coming out of the woodwork everywhere. Most surprising of all was how I spotted a few of the cult ponies in the crowd as well. Still, none of them were smiling yet as pinkie launched into the second part.
"All around you, you can find,
Even without the warm sunshine,
Let no one say it can't be done,
Why not leeend a haaand?
Holy shit. There were thousands of ponies out there now. All I could see up and down the street and even on the few ruined buildings were the smiling faces of ponies enjoying the song. Happy smiling faces just like she wanted.
"Now look around, now you can see,
On that long note was the most spectacular sight. The sun, which was blocked out by Nightmare Moon for months, actually pierced the canopy and shone down on everyone around. Imagery at its best right there. Pinkie lifting her front hooves into the air with the sun just then breaking through so fast that it felt like someone had swatted it aside so it could shine down on everyone. That scene brought a tear to my eye; which was helpful because I wasn't sure if I could cry anymore.
"Now you've leeent a haaand,
I thought it was done, but instead everyone joined in on a second chorus.
"Now you've leeent a haaand,
Well, damn. She did it. Even as the sun started disappearing back behind the canopy you could tell that the atmosphere had shifted into a more positive tone. It was most definitely nice to see something other than the subdued despair that was rampant in most of them. I waited as Pinkie chatted a little with some of the ponies before turning invisible and teleporting to her side.
"And that's why Mr. and Mrs. Cake don't have anypony else working there!" Pinkie said finishing up what was probably a story I would've liked to hear if the laughter was any indication.
"Pinkie, we need to go."
"Awww."
"Gotta save the world Pinkie."
Almost went Pinkie and The Brain there to be completely honest with you.
"Fine."
She looked back to the confused ponies who were hearing disembodied voices.
"I have to go now. My friend and I have to go stop the end of the world! But don't let that keep you from having a splendifferous day!"
I looked around for an out of the way spot before teleporting the two of us away from the crowd. It was time to get back to work.
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
I was in deep shit. What did I do this time? Well, it was a series of unfortunate events this time around. That and a mix of negligence and unknown variables that bit me in the ass.
Pinkie and I stayed invisible as we traveled around discreetly while following Eris to where we needed to go. The place in question, after some inadvertent circling, ended up being this small, four story building surrounded by guards. It wouldn't have been too bad if only for the fact that the building had no windows and a single entrance that were just a couple of two-story tall steel doors. Damn sturdy doors from my up close invisible inspection.
Now, for the record my teleportation was pretty good. I could teleport to any place I had been to or had a visual of. I could teleport through quite a few things as well. I could go past any solid object and even past some types of shielding. I could bypass magic shields if the ground wasn't included, which most people don't think of, as long as I constructed a path around it in my head, but I can't teleport through anything warded against teleportation specifically or certain types of anti-magic wards. I had Discord run through several of these and in between he had me do some random stupid chore. Swimming through paint was especially... icky. The issue at hand was that I couldn't see inside so I just teleport in. I couldn't sneak in either since there was only the one entrance.
With no other options, I decided to just blast the door open. I was thinking of just doing that to a wall, but I wasn't sure if a sudden hole in the wall would mess with the overall integrity of the building. I didn't want to have to dig for the rift after all. I couldn't be a slouch on getting through those doors either. I doubt I could punch through the wall let alone through steel so that was out. The only option I had was to blast down the doors with appropriate force.
As I was prepared to try something, I felt a tingling sensation on my left hand. When I looked at it, I noticed that the tattoo on it had faded considerably. That was bad. My tattoo represented the amount of magical energy I had contained in my body. The more faded it was, the less I had. As faded as it was, I wasn't sure just how long I had until I ran out. Not knowing the situation inside, I did not wish to go in near empty when I could find who knows what trying to stop me.
That left me in a jam. Any entry I could currently make would be too loud and flashy. Even the lightsaber idea I had wouldn't work because of the low light. Nothing was coming to mind.
"Well? Are we going to do this or not?" Pinkie asked impatiently.
"I don't have a decent way to get in there without letting everyone know about it and I'm low on power so I'm really not sure if we could hold everyone off long enough to execute a proper search."
"Well, why not ask for some help?"
"From who, Nightmare Moon?" I said sarcastically.
"You said these are stories right? Why not get help from the protagonist? I'd bet they'd love to help!"
...She had a point. I couldn't do it, but Lelouch might. Finding him without any skills would be downright imposs- Wait. Eris can track down people. I reached down and scooped her out of my pocket.
"Eris can you search for Lelouch Lamperouge?"
There was a soft glow and for about twenty seconds nothing happened. Then, a red glow came and went from her.
"I don't think that's a good thing," Pinkie said.
"Ditto. She probably can't since she has no info on him. Can you search with just an image?"
A green glow surrounded her for a moment. She was learning how to communicate some now. That's cool.
"Alright, let's try that then."
I started making an image of him in my head to project for her, but stopped. That wouldn't actually work. He changed his appearance in order to not be recognized by anyone. I probably could have created an image of his original pony form in my head, but not his new one. I could remember the description of his new form, but creating a visual from that in my head was never a strong point for me. Besides, he might change that appearance as well.
The cover art! The cover art had a good visual of Kallen as a pony. I could use that as a base. It would be an extra step but it would be a step in the right direction.
"I've got it," I said and projected an image for Eris. The image was of a green pegasus mare with a red tail and mane. She had blue eyes and wore a red and black headband over her forehead with a pair of red and black wristbands with the symbol of the Black Knights in white on them. On her flank was a golden horseshoe with three spikes protruding from it. It took a bit longer before she glowed gold again and a new point formed on the blank side.
"Awesome. Let's get moving Pinkie."
After a nod from Pinkie, I dispelled the illusion of Kallen and set off to track the Black Knight down. It took us just over two hours to get where the pony we were looking for was at. There she was just walking down the street. It seemed my luck was up slightly since I didn't think she would be out in broad daylight, so to speak. With my luck she would be wanted by Nightmare Moon already and in hiding. Still, there were plenty of ponies in the area and talking to her wouldn't be easy. I was just glad that there was only foot traffic now as there were still many of the ponies that walked on the sidewalk as opposed to the entire street. It made it slightly easier to not bump into anyone while invisible. Kallen herself stayed to the sidewalk. Probably a measure to draw less attention to herself. Didn't really matter to me as we followed her while waiting for an opportunity to chat with her. I was hoping it wouldn't take too long. Invisibility was my least magic costing spell but I couldn't keep it going forever either.
Ducking into an alley finally gave us our opportunity. However, she must have felt someone watching her because she bolted right as we got to the alley ourselves. I knew immediately that I wouldn't catch her. Not when she was going at that speed. Instead, I uttered a few specific words.
"Pinkie, I think she wants to play hide and seek."
"Oooh! That sounds fun!"
"Go ahead and show her how good you are."
With that, I dropped the invisibility on her and watched her take off. It was too bad I wasn't a third party observer. It would've been funny to watch Kallen try to get away from Pinkie only to fail miserably. I wasn't even worried that she would hurt her as Pinkie's personality made her pretty amiable to be around. I guess it didn't help her too much last time, but I had faith it might work better this time around. It didn't make the waiting any easier. About fifteen minutes after they took off the two of them were trotting back down the alley.
"Seth! Are you still here?"
"Come on Pinkie," I said startling Kallen, "while I'm here it's Coltsguy. I need to stay anonymous."
"Well why didn't you say so?"
"...Because I forgot to tell you didn't I?"
"Yepperooni!"
"Will you stop hiding in the shadows and tell me why you two are bothering me? She said it was because you needed my help."
"Sorry. I can't really show myself here. I'm a bit wanted by some very important ponies. My associate Pinkie and I are in need of some assistance from you and your... allies."
At the mention of allies Kallen narrowed her eyes and for a moment it seemed she knew right where I was.
"I won't waste your time so I'll be blunt. I need the assistance of your leader for something that requires his abilities and I need you to take me to him."
"And why should I do that?"
"Because the world is at risk," I said in a no-nonsense tone of voice.
"Of course it is. As long as Nightmare Moon rules over us the world is always at risk."
"I'm not talking about the petty whims of some petulant alicorn. I'm talking about the world being ripped apart."
Her eyes widened upon hearing this new information.
"I need Zero's help. Please take us to him."
Her eyes returned to normal and it looked like she was thinking it over. It took a minute before she let out a sigh.
"Alright, I'll take you to see him, but we need to be discreet."
"Understood. Lead the way."
We started following her for a bit before I needed to say something.
"Pinkie. No hopping. Hopping isn't discreet."
"Aww, but I haven't done it all day!"
"Don't be rude to our guide. She's taking a big risk to take us to the per-, pony that is going to be helping us. Besides, after the stunts we've pulled today drawing any attention to ourselves is not a good idea right now."
"You realize I can hear you right?"
"Hey if letting you overhear our conversation leads down the road of trust building then so be it."
She let out a derisive snort, but said nothing as we followed her. Every minute I had spent since I had found out I was low on magical power was a little uneasy on my mind. It wasn't too bad at first, but the longer my side trips were taking the more concerned I grew. Still, I pushed it down because I knew it wouldn't help to be so worried. Besides, I was about to meet with Zero so I needed to be on my game. Then again what was my game now? The chaos magic was making me more confident, but just how much was I affected?
I'd need to think about it later. For now, we had arrived at a small junkyard. By small, I meant small as in maybe two small piles of metal scraps in a dirt covered compound with small metal shacks spread about. The three of us headed to the largest of them. It was about sixty feet long by twenty feet wide and made entirely of sheet metal with a single slope roof. There wasn't even any doors or windows. Just holes to get in and out of. The inside was pretty barren as well. A few tables were scattered here and there and not much else. Kallen led us over to one table in particular and reached underneath it. There was an audible click and a small hole opened up in the concrete floor nearby.
"This way," she said and descended down a flight of stairs followed by Pinkie and then myself. The stairs gave way to a tunnel that we followed for a bit before coming to a door that looked like it belonged on a battleship. Kallen knocked on the door three times deliberately before a whining sound came from the door. It soon opened to reveal a pony with grey fur and a dark blue mane and tail. His cutie mark was three concentric rings with a cartoon heart in the middle. What was most telling was the armband he was wearing on his left foreleg with the symbol of the Black Knights.
"New recruit?" he asked while appraising Pinkie a bit.
"Not exactly. Is Zero still here?"
"Yeah, he's in his quarters right now. Why?"
"We need to talk to him," she said stepping inside. Pinkie followed her in and I-
*slam*
-Had the door slammed in my face. A quick teleport later and I was back in line. Apparently the headquarters of the Black Knights was an underground bunker. A dimly lit one at that even though there were quite a few electrical lights strewn throughout. It was a bit of a haphazard affair as there were items strewn about all over. The stuff was mostly next to the walls, which had more battleship style doors dotted along it, with some of it leaned against the concrete pillars that were supporting the structure. As we kept walking as many ponies were busy doing some kind of work mostly consisting of messing with electrical cords of various sizes.
We soon reached the back end of the bunker and approached another of the doors. Again Kallen knocked deliberately only this time it was three sets of two knocks. A short time passed before the same whining sound came from that door. Inside this door was a grey-furred pony with a black tail. I couldn't see his cutie mark nor his face as they were covered up by a cape and a mask respectively. Still, that mask was unique no matter how it had been altered. This was the pony I was looking for.
"Was there something you needed Kallen?"
"I have someone here who says they have important information they need to share with you. They say it's a dire emergency."
"And you brought them straight here?" he said sounding annoyed.
"I wouldn't normally, but one of them is apparently invisible."
"Really?" he asked with intrigue.
"Indeed I am. I'd like the four of us to speak in private if possible please."
I couldn't see through his mask so I didn't get to see how surprised he was. When he had information he wasn't so easily rattled, but an unknown variable tended to make him act a little irrationally. This might be interesting.
"Go ahead and come in," he said opening the hatch wide.
The three of us filed in and I shut the door behind me. I looked around at the room which was pretty well occupied by stuff. A bed, two couches, a few desks, and three televisions; only one of which seemed like it was working. A pretty good setup to my surprise considering the state of things.
"Such a useful ability. I don't suppose you'd be willing to teach it to me?"
"I don't know if I would, but I can't do it anyway so there's no point in asking."
"A pity. Still, you came here for a reason. I doubt it was to bring us down as since you knew of Kallen already all you had to do was follow her long enough to discover our hideout. Instead you decided to risk yourself being discovered and let her decide for herself if you were trustworthy enough to be led here."
"I still don't trust him yet," Kallen interjected, "but she seems much too happy and carefree for this to be some trap."
"Aww, that's so nice of Kalli!"
"Please don't call me that," she grumbled.
"Let's stay on topic," Lelouch stated. "So, what information did you feel the need to give me?"
"Well, here's the deal. Pinkie and I are trying to get inside this building. The reason for this is that we need to close a rift in space that is somewhere inside. The rift puts out a lot of energy and is slowly destabilizing the very fabric of reality. The problem is that getting inside is an issue. We can't really do it without causing a ruckus. If we did, we wouldn't be able to search the building without having to deal with the guards that are covering the place. That's why I sought you out."
"So you want us to help you infiltrate this building to let you close this rift then?"
"I'd have done it myself so that you wouldn't get involved, but I'm running too low on magical power to do so. I don't know how much longer I can cast my spells at all."
"So why not stop casting your spell of invisibility now to save your magic?"
"It'd be a... bit of an issue if anyone saw me. Especially if I didn't have time to explain."
"Explain what exactly?" Kallen asked.
"That he isn't a pony," Pinkie blurted out cheerfully.
"What!?" she blurted out in complete shock.
"Fucking damn it," I muttered.
"I see. That would be quite a problem indeed," Zero said calmly. "If everyone saw a human in a world full of horses then things could get dicey.
I decided immediately not to bring up my little blunder earlier.
"But how is that possible? Everyone on Earth was changed that night!"
"Everyone on this Earth," I corrected. "Tell me, Zero, how familiar are you with multiverse theory?"
"Only general knowledge I'm afraid."
"That should be enough. For Kallen's sake I'll provide some explanation. General multiverse theory states that the world that you live in exists in many different parallels. There's one that you wake up five minutes later in the day one morning. There's one in which you became a unicorn instead of a pegasus. There's one where Nightmare Moon never came here and Zero successfully conquered Britannia and brought peace to the world at the cost of his own life. All of these worlds can exist at the same time and completely cut off from one another. Normally that is. Pinkie and I are from two worlds that aren't so quite cut off in that way. Understand so far?"
"So you're not a pony because there wasn't a Nightmare Moon in this world your are from?" Kallen asked tentatively.
"Exactly," I responded positively.
"Yet you seem quite knowledgeable about Nightmare Moon from what I saw."
"...What you saw?"
"Kallen was busy so she didn't see the broadcast, but I did. I didn't recognize your companion at first, but after a moment it dawned on me. You must be the other one that was with here there."
"So why feign ignorance? It doesn't seem helpful."
"Part of it was because you didn't bring it up yourself as a bargaining chip. It would've been fairly useful to you if you were trying to gain favor with me. The rest was to see what information you were willing to give up. I may have tipped my hand a bit early, but seeing how forthcoming you are I doubt it would be an issue. I'm willing to bet that the two of you have quite a bit of info that I could use."
"And I'm willing to share that. I just want help with my problem."
"And why not share it with us now?"
"Pinkie. Eyes closed."
"Yes sir!" she shouted as she complied.
"For the record, I'm a wellspring of information. Not just on pony related topics, but on many things here... Lelouch."
I wasn't sure where she got it from, but at my declaration Kallen suddenly was holding a combat knife in her mouth. What threw me off a bit was that it looked almost like an identical scene to that picture I used earlier. Pretty cool.
"I don't want the Black Knights or anyone else privy to that information."
"I'm not going to tell them. I was just probing the situation. I doubt you've shared everything with Kallen either. I just don't want you compelling me, rather us, into telling you things."
"Ou main Gaus?" Kallen muttered to us with the knife still in her mouth.
"Ou... Gaus..." I muttered, "...Oh! Geass! I didn't know you knew about that. Yes, that's what I mean. You need direct eye contact for it to work. Her eyes are closed, you've already used it on Kallen, and you can't see me."
A quick sideways glare from Kallen to Lelouch came and went.
"Now how would you know that?" he asked calmer than I was expecting, but with a little agitation still in there. "No one was there until Shirley arrived."
"It's part of how I know things. Like how I know that all you did was have her answer some questions and that you haven't subverted her will. I think she deserves to know that she isn't being controlled after all."
Kallen's stance visibly loosened upon hearing me say that.
"I have a form of hypnotism too, though I haven't figured out how to make it work right. But that's a different matter. I need to close that rift and then head back to close three more and if I need to give you some information in exchange for your help then that's what I'll do."
There was a bit of a tense standoff between the three of us. Not Pinkie because Pinkie to verb my noun, but I was most certainly tense. Eventually, I heard a sigh come from Lelouch.
"I suppose I can help you with your problem. However, I still require the information on the building in question. Also I'd like to know everything about Nightmare Moon that you can tell me as soon as possible."
Kallen let the knife she was holding in her mouth go and placed it in the desk she was next to.
"Fair enough. I'll show you the place I mean."
I projected an illusion of the building despite the cost since I didn't think I should leave just yet. They barely had more than a handful of seconds before the image dimmed. Not long after that it disappeared completely as I realized that my magic had run out. As such, my invisibility also faded out and my full human form was no longer hidden.
"Damn it. I'm out of magic."
"Indeed. Though it is good to finally see you," Lelouch jibed.
"Glad I got you to agree before this happened," I countered.
"I suppose as long as you tell me what I want to know then there shouldn't be any problems. Kallen and I will check this place out. We'll talk when we get back. Neither of you are to leave this room under any circumstances. Am I clear?"
"Not a problem. Right Pinkie?"
"That's right! You don't have to worry about us! We'll be just fine!"
"Pinkie, you can open your eyes now."
Her eyes fluttered for a bit before opening up and surveying the room.
"Again, just stay here. Let's go Kallen," Lelouch said before leaving the room with Kallen in tow.
A minute passed before Pinkie broke the silence.
"Hey, uh, Coltsguy?"
I giggled a little. "Yes?"
"I was wondering about something."
"And what would that be?"
"Why didn't you use your x-ray eyes on the building?"
"..."
"..."
"...Because I'm dumb Pinkie. Really, really, dumb."
Author's Note
Hey there! Want a little insight as to what I normally use to base this story on, a.k.a. the storyboard? Well click here. It shows the original storyboard for this part of the arc. No obligation to click.
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
The Ghost of Admiral Ackbar
Pinkie and I were bored. Shitacularly bored. The two of us were pretty much stuck in that room. Boredom is a very bad thing for either of us to have. Both of us having it is worse. When Lelouch got back he found this out firsthand. He arrived to a new paint scheme in his office. The walls, instead of a dull grey, were now a bright blue with white trim and a white ceiling. The desks were now a mix of dark green and yellow and had a tray of cookies sitting on one of them. The couches were now a velvet red color and even felt like the material despite the fact that I knew that Pinkie had simply threw paint on them and I watched it spread like magic. Hmm... Anyway, even the floor was redone with a nice new deep purple carpet. That part was really interesting because she made it just flow under every piece of furniture in the place without disturbing anything.
Yeah, I don't think he liked it too much. It did get a chuckle out of Kallen though so I consider it worth it. Man I wish I could have seen her as a human. I bet she was just as smoking hot as on t.v. Yeah, don't judge.
After getting over what happened, making sure there were no bugs, and checking to see if everything still worked properly, Lelouch talked about our target. Apparently, it would be pretty difficult to get in. From the information he gathered the guards had a long rotation shift; around a week or so. Not only that, but in the time it had been there those large doors had only been opened four times. Not really optimal conditions to get in with.
While he had someone look into some other options, I ended up fulfilling my end by giving him some general information on Equestria and Nightmare Moon. The first thing was the origin of Nightmare Moon. Essentially, the first few opening minutes of the series. Then came the part of her defeat and how she came to be on their Earth. Pinkie explained most of that one since she actually lived it. It required a short explanation on the Elements of Harmony as well. There were a few more things I added on which included some observation on the general state of things here and there amongst them. I almost brought up Kamine Island, but I wasn't sure if it would be advisable to do so considering that it may give rise to some uncomfortable questions in the present and it might not even work what with it being buried now. I guess that doesn't mean it was inoperable. I just wasn't sure what exactly Nightmare Moon did inside the thought elevator. Eh, maybe I'd bring it up as I left.
He honestly seemed less hostile to us after the info session. He didn't seem to mind us at the very least. I was thankful that he generated enough of a reaction that I obtained a minute charge of magic. Despite what I had thought, there didn't seem to be any real ambient chaos in the air to draw from in order to pick up some magical energy. Getting the reaction from Lelouch gave me maybe one percent if I could quantify the number that Eris gave me. Still, it could come in handy for an emergency.
Where we ended up was the result of some digging for information that he managed to get from some source he didn't mention. We found out that not only was the building four stories tall, but it had two stories underground as well. The lowest level ran adjacent to some old maintenance tunnels that had gone out of use even before Nightmare Moon had arrived. That would be our way in.
That's where we were. According to an old map they were given it was anyways. We were standing at the section in which the building we needed to enter was located at. The four of us as well as a dozen Black Knight ponies were looking the place over to see if there was an entrance into the building from there. It was quite preferable to the alternative.
"Hey Zero, why is nobody freaking out about how there's a human in their midst? You didn't... you know?"
"I told them all that it was an illusion that I was practicing. It's something I plan on trying now that I know it's possible."
I guess that made as much sense as anything else.
"Just be careful okay? Not knowing proper spell mechanics can be dangerous, or so Twilight told me. Despite how I act, magic is not a toy."
"I'm aware of this. However, we should focus on the task at hand."
"Speaking of which," Kallen broke in, "according to one of our people there apparently is a door in the proper location to be part of that building."
"Lead the way," Lelouch replied neutrally.
A short walk later and the entire force was standing in front of a pair of sliding double doors reminiscent of the ones on the building above. The differences were that this pair was only a single story tall nearly reaching the ceiling of the tunnel and that they looked considerably worse for wear than the above ground counterparts. Still, an entrance was an entrance.
"I'm not sure we can force this apart," one of the Black Knights said.
"I'm not sure we'll need to," another stated. "I found this when we found the door."
We looked at where he was pointing and noticed a dimly glowing keypad next to the door. Zero and I walked up to it to take a closer look. The only reason I walked up to it was because they wouldn't be able to use it with the size of their hooves. Yeah I guess he could do it with telekinesis, but I doubt he could do it as fast as I was able to. He did take his sweet time looking it over.
"Something wrong?" I asked.
"This feels too convenient. Out of place."
"True, though it could be that it's hardwired into the power system of the building."
"Perhaps."
"Hope for the best and prepare for the worst then?"
"Indeed. I have some options for that instance."
"If you do, can you make a loud, flashy diversion?"
"That isn't an optimal choice for the current situation."
"Perhaps, but it can give me a chance to use an ace in the hole that I couldn't use otherwise."
"What kind of ace?"
"One that could probably save us all or at least get us out of there."
"I'll consider it then. For now, I believe I have figured out the code to this door. Would you care to punch it in?"
I gave him a chuckle and complied despite wondering how he was able to discern the door code by just staring at it. Maybe his Geass worked on inanimate objects now thanks to being a unicorn? Yeah, like I could figure it out anyway. Stick to outside context knowledge Seth.
There were a few tense moments after inputting the code where nothing happened. However, the doors opened up soon after. When they stopped moving our group slowly entered. I decided to use the small charge I had to turn invisible again. Better to limit the damage of having seen a human to as few ponies now as possible. Kind of dumb in the grand scheme of things, but hey.
"I'll be sticking to your left Zero fyi."
"Thanks for informing me you would do that," he said sarcastically. At least I think it was. "It would have been better to know that beforehand."
"Spur of the moment. Besides it'll only last maybe ten to fifteen minutes. Less if I turn anyone or anything else invisible."
That was really just a guess on my part. I had nothing concrete to base it on. My invisibility was the least costly so I just figured that it could run for quite a bit. More surface area required more magic though anything other than me required a little bit more juice than normal I think. Or something, I'm not really too good at judging too well with my limited interaction time. I was just feeling it out and going off of Eris. Maybe we could try that later?
Right then we were entering a dimly lit room. It was mostly empty with only steel shipping crates placed here and there. After we all were inside the doors slowly closed back up. We checked to make sure there was a keypad on this side of the doors before looking for another door. This time there was one on each wall. Normal lever-knobbed doors to everyone's relief.
"Which way should we go?" Kallen asked.
"Hang on," I spoke and pulled Eris out of my pocket. A quick look and we headed off to the left door.
Our group kept going down the better lit, yet bland hallways while I guided us through. Every room we passed was filled with computer servers lined up along the walls. We passed eight of those before climbing up two flights of stairs and going into another hallway. This one only contained one door about halfway down the corridor. This door was the one Eris led me to.
"Hang back. This is the door. Let me make sure there's nothing wrong."
I received a nod before pushing the lever down and opening the door enough to peer inside. What was inside was quite interesting. Ponies were bustling about in lab coats going from instrument to computer to instrument. Some were flying up to other tiers as the room went up the entire four stories of the building. There were three extended areas that went around all the room with the exception of the far side of the room where I could see what was most likely the doors I spotted from the outside of the building. Those areas were like terraces that contained wall mounted screens and some other smaller devices. In the middle of all of this was the rift hanging about ten feet in the air and dancing wildly in between two fixed horizontal points.
"That's the rift," I commented while pointing Eris at it to confirm such. "They're ponies all over the place working on things. I'm a little concerned about what though."
"It doesn't matter much right now," Zero commented. "We'll take control of the room, let you two seal the rift, and then leave. We have to be quick. If we spot anything we need to do something with, we'll postpone momentarily to check it out, but it isn't our priority."
"In and out! Easy peasy!" Pinkie exclaimed.
I fought off the urge to facepalm.
"On three," I said as Kallen began counting.
"One... two... three!"
On cue, I threw open the door and ran inside followed by Kallen, then Pinkie, and then the rest of the group. Our entrance didn't go unnoticed as the majority of the ponies there scattered. Zero yelled out to the crowd to get their attention.
"This facility is now under the control of the Black Knights! If you surrender now you will not be harmed!"
Again, the same majority of ponies that scattered simply did what he asked and surrendered. Only a half dozen chose to resist and were easily quelled. I chose that moment to hand Pinkie the coin as I took a bit more magic in from the commotion.
That was when things turned bad.
The large doors began to slowly open on the far wall. Outside, like I figured it led to, was a group of forty bat ponies led by a pegasus pony with a light yellow coat and a black mane with slit eyes. Worst of all, standing behind all of them was a smirking Nightmare Moon.
"It seems that my little pony was correct," she said mirthfully. "I'll need to reward her properly later."
"Pinkie, head for the rift now!" I harshly whispered.
As she took off, that prompted everyone else to get moving. I ran to the wall as I knew that I wouldn't be of any help until I was set up the way I needed. I was only glad that Nightmare Moon didn't enter herself. It didn't really matter as the number advantage was too much and ten of the bat ponies flew past us to block off our escape. Zero tried his best to rally everyone and even managed to hold them off for long enough to let Pinkie get to the rift. Sadly, it was not enough to win and most everyone was caught except Zero, Pinkie, and two random Black Knights. Thankfully, Pinkie still managed to close the rift before she was tackled out of the air by a bat pony. I gestured towards Eris and she skidded along the ground until she came to a rest in my hand.
"So," Nightmare Moon said loudly, "you were able to close the tear. It matters not. The ponies here tell me that they have had enough time to study it and replicate its effects. Now that the last great thorn in my side is taken care of, I will use the power learned of here and open a portal to Equestria where I will bring an army down upon them and rule both worlds like I was always meant to! Hahahahahahahaha!!!"
Ooh! She even got the lightning effect with that laugh. But she had really gone cliche there. She had violated the List big time. I didn't know if Zero could do anything, but he did speak up.
"You brought nothing but misery when you came to our world and now you want to spread this cancer even further? Do you have any sense of decency?"
"How DARE you!? I am Empress Nightmare Moon! I will not be talked down to by someone who doesn't understand what it means to truly be a pony!"
Odd choice of words, but the exchange was enough for me to mentally finish what I needed to do so I decided to speak up. I needed to hurry up too because I was on a timer now that the rift was closed.
"Oh shut up you old nag!"
That got stunned silence.
"Celestia is doing just fine there," I said while walking up in front of her as she was still standing outside. "She doesn't need the cast-off of Luna coming there and causing strife."
Wow, I hit the right button as not only were her eyes white, but as I got up close they looked like white flames were coming out of them.
"You again! I will make you suffer like the foolish foal you are!"
Despite the ringing in my ears I was undeterred by her comment. Instead, I reached up and grabbed her by the horn and brought my face right into hers as I made my head visible.
"You have no idea who the fuck you're dealing with," I said staring straight into her eyes.
"It seems I haven't quite rid the world of you filthy apes yet."
I watched her horn light up-
-and instantly I was hit with a flood of images. I jerked back as I held my head. I also vaguely remembered that my invisibility faded away.
"You foolish little thing! You cannot challenge me!"
I looked down and saw to my horror that my feet had been turned to stone. I had to act fast.
"Fuck this shit! We're out of here!"
A snap of my fingers and the building was now short one group of freedom fighters. I had charged my magic up from the small skirmish and had just enough power to teleport all of us back to the hideout. The only hard part was keeping everyone in my head to take them with me. Very much to my relief, the stone faded away from my feet and they went back to normal.
"Nailed it!" Pinkie yelled.
A collective groan was let out as I looked at Eris. I was really glad that I hadn't dropped it when whatever that was with Nightmare Moon happened. I took note that we had just over thirty seconds left. Enough for a quick goodbye I supposed.
"Time to head home Pinkie."
"You're leaving? Just like that?" Kallen asked clearly miffed.
"It's on a timer. We leave automatically."
That seemed to quell her well enough.
"I wish you could stay here," Lelouch said. "You would make a valuable ally."
"I'll tell you what. If I am capable of coming back, though I doubt I ever will, I will definitely help you out," I said while reaching out my hand to him.
"I'll take it," he said reciprocating in kind with a handshake.
There was a flash of light and I knew we were headed back to Equestria. Sure enough, when the vision came back to my eyes we were back in the plains of Appleloosa with everyone else. A group hug later and everything was peaches.
"Halftime people!"
"Halftime? What do you mean?" Twilight asked.
"That last trip drained my magic completely. I've got to recharge before heading to the next one. It frightens me more than any of the others."
"Why would it do that?" Rarity asked. "Is it because of that strange pony that we talked with?"
"In part, yes. But that isn't the only reason. Come on, I need to head to the Everfree Forest."
I started heading off on what was going to be a long trip.
"The train is that way," Rainbow Dash commented.
And now it was a few feet longer.
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
What Really Grinds My Gears
Other than Discord having someone to mess with and Rarity getting some time to, well I'm just going to call it preening, nobody was really happy about taking off the two days it required for both Eris and me to recharge our magic to adequate levels. For me, it was fully charged, but for Eris it was sixty two percent. We had finally figured out that one charge for me was thirty percent exactly of her total capacity of magic reserves. It was really nice to have actual numbers to go off of. Still, while not fully charged it was enough for Discord to boot me out of the house... with a rain made of actual, muddy boots. He had better have cleaned that up before I got back. I suppose since he was the authority on chaos magic I had no argument to make about it.
Thus, I went around to round up everyone I needed to come with me. That ended up being a group of six instead of three as they only seemed to travel in a herd. I would have argued about it, but I also would've lost. Friendship is magic remember? We were headed to the train station for round two when I realized that I still wanted no part of that train if I didn't need to. Instead I simply teleported us all back to the rifts. Results and reactions were very different from each other.
"A little warning next time!" Rainbow Dash yelled at me.
"Agreed," both Applejack and Rarity said in unison. Yeah, I found that funny later.
"And why did you bring that camera with you?" Twilight asked.
"You think I'm going to miss another chance at getting to photograph some of the coolest beings I've ever dreamt of meeting? Not a chance. I mean, the next place I'm going to with Rarity isn't because it's essentially Equestria with a different human in it. The other two would essentially have me acting like a kid in a candy store. Or whatever personal indulgence fantasy you all might have. You understand right?"
Mine would probably involve naked, sexy women like that night Twilight and Discord walked in on me. Weird night that was. Nice, but weird. I'm not sure what Pinkie's was but by the look on her face it must have been decadent. The drool was a bit much though. I gave Fluttershy, who was right next to me, a slight nudge.
"By that face, I bet you could take that as a yes."
She gave me a a quick chuckle and I felt quite victorious.
"Anyways, I don't know if it's a good idea to bring along a camera given that you've been broken already," Twilight commented.
"Well, I'll probably leave it here for this next one, but I really feel like getting some pictures of the last two. I did tell you that Goku was a personal hero of mine right?"
Twilight let out a resigned sigh before nodding.
"I suppose I understand."
Nodding to her, I took the camera from around my neck and placed it around Twilight's.
"Don't fiddle with it please."
Twilight responded with an eyeroll. I let out a chuckle and fished Eris out of my pocket. I motioned to Rarity and the two of us walked over to the rift.
"Ready Rarity?"
"Of course I am darling. Let's get going before all of this dry air messes up my mane again."
On that note, I reached out and let the familiar light take us to our next destination. Said destination looked like the exact same alley that I arrived in last time... Actually, putting effort into my memory spell made me realize that it was the exact same alley I arrived in previously. What the hell were the odds of that happening?
"Well? Are we just going to stand around all day?" Rarity asked.
"I get the message," I said playfully. "I just need to make us invisible."
I reached over to do so, but was surprised as she swatted away my hand.
"Just what do you think you're doing?"
"Turning us... invisible?" I asked tentatively.
"I will not have you messing up all of the hard work I put into making my mane look this fabulous."
I wanted to say something but that just left me dumbfounded. Yeah it was, I suppose, justified from her point of view. All I could think of was how inconvenient that made things. I did come up with an idea fairly quick.
"Well, I need physical contact to render you invisible. Would you rather have me touching your horn then?"
"I'd rather not. Why would I need to hide anyway? I know why you wouldn't want to be seen, but I shouldn't have to hide myself."
That sounded more insulting than it probably actually was so I let it slide.
"The reason is that there is another Rarity running around out there. If you two end up in the same place the pe- ponies will start getting worried about changelings being around or some other bad possibility running through their heads. In case you haven't noticed, you all for the most part tend to overreact to strange circumstances."
"I'm not sure I like what you're insinuating. Besides, what are the odds of running into the Rarity from here anyway?"
As if the lords of irony had heard her, I noticed at the mouth of the alley the whole set of the main characters plus Spike walk by. That included the extra main character of this story, Lucien. Unlike the other seven, he jogged slightly into the alley and stared down the corridor. Since I was paying attention already, I managed to go invisible before he spotted me. At least I believe so from the confused-looking glances he was giving the entire area. I was just lucky he couldn't see past the crates to spot Rarity or things might have gotten hairy. Yeah, he could see magic if I remembered correctly, and I definitely could if I chose to, but I doubt if he could tell the differences between most ponies if he didn't look closely enough. After looking as though he knew he wouldn't find what he was looking for, he moved back out of the alley to presumably catch up to the others.
"Irony, thy name is Rarity."
"Yes, I believe you've made your point. I suppose you can touch my horn, but be careful."
I complied with her request and touched her horn to turn her invisible. With that settled, I took a look at Eris and we set off towards the rift. The location of which was in the same direction as the locals were moving in. The eight of them, not all the locals I mean. I didn't notice when they passed by before, but they looked to be carrying luggage with them. I guess they were headed up to the castle for a bit of a stay.
The group seemed to be having a nice, amicable chat with one another as they traveled the same route we were headed in. I made sure to keep a fair distance between us since I was not sure if he could sense me if I came closer. My invisibility may have worked so far, but that didn't mean that it could keep me off his radar from a lesser distance. Said distance was too far to hear anything they said so I merely traveled along with Rarity looking at them intently.
"I do find it rather odd to see, well, me, chatting with my friends. Even if they aren't my friends. You understand what I'm trying to say right?"
"Yeah. Alternate realities can have that effect on anybody that isn't used to it. That Rarity is, as far as I know, exactly like you. The difference is that instead of meeting me she met Lucien; a mage from Earth. He's learned proper spell theory and application over many years unlike my cobbled together education on the subject that altogether has taken around a week or two. Compared to me, his life has been enormously more interesting than mine."
"Is there a point to this somewhere?"
"Things are different is what I'm talking about. This Rarity is friends with a seasoned mage. You, on the other hand, are stuck with me. A chaos infused dump of a man who squandered the many opportunities of his life and has a Pepsi addiction that he can't rid himself of."
On cue, I created a glass of Pepsi, gulped it down, and uncreated the empty glass.
"You don't need to be so hard on yourself you know. I don't think things are too bad for you right now are they?"
"It's temporary. In a few weeks Celestia will be sending me back home and if I'm lucky I'll get to keep the magic I have now. Magic that I'll need to keep hidden as there is no such thing on Earth as far as I know. I know I'll be back to the same life I had before all of this. It's not like-"
I was cut off as something weird happened. It looked as though the light everywhere dimmed significantly for a moment before going back to normal. The group we were following didn't seem to notice it, though. I didn't see anyone else around notice it either. Then again, I didn't see anyone else around period.
Wait just a second. Why wasn't there anyone else around? This was Canterlot. There were ponies around all the time during the day. It wasn't just me who thought this was strange either. They all seemed to come to a stop as well. Ooooh! Somebody has a shiny new sword. Nice little invisibility trick of his own-
Wait a second. This was feeling familiar. I was trying to figure it out as he dashed off into the empty stalls and tents. I tapped into the little memory spell again as Rarity spoke up.
"What's going on? Where is everypony?"
Then it clicked. I knew exactly what time I had arrived for. A bad time.
"We need to get to cover right now."
Rarity complied easily enough as the two of us ducked into a small stall selling some lemons and kept out eyes on the scene before us.
"We can't interfere in what's about to happen. It could mess things up badly."
"You know what's going on here?"
There was a sharp whine as some speakers kicked to life.
"Twilight Sparkle," a slightly loud voice came from some speakers that sounded as though they were interspersed in the area.
"Here," the mare responded clearly enough for us to hear. "Who are you and what do you want? Did you clear out the marketplace?"
"Your questions will be answered when you answer mine," the voice stated as the speaker cut off with a click after she finished.
"What's going on, and where's Lucien?"
"That is what is happening," I said a little worriedly.
Seconds later, everyone there picked up on a sound. It was a small whistling sound. The kind that you hear on t.v. when a bomb is falling. And I knew it was a bomb falling. Just not the normal kind.
"Everyone get down!"
Everyone, except for me, complied as they all ducked down in anticipation. Well, Twilight didn't. She moved in front of her friends and created a shield for them just as something impacted the ground in a grassy area a little bit away from them. I noticed Lucien do the same and I followed suit by placing a half dome shield in front of Rarity and myself. It was a good thing too as bits of debris went everywhere after impact. My shield held just fine despite the shockwave that went out. I waited a little bit and then cursed as I released the shield. I really hoped that he was hyper-focused on the dust cloud and didn't sense my magic.
"What was that?" Rarity asked in a bit of shock.
"They're about to get into a bit of a fight with someone," I replied as I tried to see through the cloud.
I then smacked myself as I activated my infrared vision. I guess it did come in handy. Lucien was slowly ambling through the cloud and didn't see the cylinder in front of him before he whacked his foot into it. He then waved his hands and the dust blew away for the most part. Noticing this, I switched back to my regular vision as he looked at the device that he had inadvertently kicked.
He only had a few seconds to take it in before it began to move. As it did, he put a shield around the gizmo presumably to contain it if it did go off. I knew better, but he wasn't working with the knowledge that I was. I watched as pieces fell off of it and noticed that the rest of the group made it over to his side to take their own look at the device. Unfortunately, they also obstructed the view I had on it.
That kept me from seeing it go off initially. Not for too long, though, as a small shockwave of electricity flowed out of it knocking down everyone around it. The small wave kept going for a small ways until it passed by our spot in the stall. Crouching as I was, it sent me stumbling down on my ass with a bit of a pained plop.
...Pained plop? I looked down and noticed something very bad. I had become visible again. I looked over and noticed Rarity had as well. The tattoo on my hand was gone as well.
I had no magic again.
Author's Note
A big thank you to Sandcroft for once again letting me use Ungrounded as part of my story once again.
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
"Fffffuuuuuuck!!!"
"Language!" Rarity admonished. "And keep your voice down!"
"We have no magic!" I whispered harshly. "I thought we were out of range but we weren't! If they see or sense us it could really mess up the timeline."
"You didn't seem too concerned when you were running around all willy nilly in those other places."
"How would you even know?"
I didn't get an answer as we both felt the footsteps of something large making its way over presumably towards their group. We ventured a look over the edge of the stall to see it. Unlike everyone else, I knew what to expect. This was the big fight of chapter twelve of the story Ungrounded by Sandcroft. Ironic seeing as how there was a character in the story called that too. I had written the story off as a self insert. I was the ass in assume on that one. But I digress...
Despite knowing what was coming, it didn't make the sight of the massive metal horse any less impressive. It was a hulk of a thing too. Not much bigger than a regular pony, but the fact that the ground was cracking with every step told us all of how massive it probably was. It honestly reminded me of a horse styled in steampunk kind of like that suit from the cave in Iron Man but suitable for a pony. It was a bronze monstrosity that just almost leisurely, but purposefully, walked up to the group in sight.
As the metalwork machine stopped a short distance away, Applejack and Rainbow Dash bolted straight at it. That did nothing to deter it as it casually backhanded the two of them away. In response, Fluttershy picked up Spike and the two moved over to the fallen ponies' sides. I was going to watch the whole thing, but a slight burning sensation in my pocket distracted me. I reached into my pocket and pulled out Eris who was glowing slightly.
I was greatly surprised to find out that Eris had been unaffected by the EMP. I had thought that it eliminated all magic in the area. I'm not sure how it didn't affect Eris, but I knew not to try and figure that out on my own. Besides, it probably had something to do with it being an artifact and not an organism. The same applied to Lucien's weapon after all.
I grasped Eris tightly as I pulled some magic from her into myself. The warm, yet a bit prickly sensation flowed throughout my body for a few moments as I was re-energized. I looked back and noticed that Lucien, Twilight, and Bronze Gear, the pony in the suit, were conversing a bit. However, the talking was too quiet for me to hear at that distance.
Eventually, the sword he was holding let off a flash of blue and turned into a pair of chakrams. Don't know what a chakram is? Go watch Xena: Warrior Princess then come back. He hurled one of them at the face, but she brought up a metal hoof to block it; shattering the chakram on impact before it reappeared in his hand. That hadn't happened to his weapon before so it ended up distracting him enough to catch a metal hoof to the face. After a short flight, he took a moment before slowly sitting up. I was impressed since a normal person probably would have suffered a concussion after being rendered unconscious.
At that point, I had to grab Rarity out of the air as she tried to jump out of the stall. I made sure to grab her magically. I was not going to get yelled at for messing up her tail. I was going to get yelled at for something else entirely.
"What are you doing? We need to help them!"
"Nooo, we need to let this play out the way it's supposed to go."
"Those are my friends! Even if we are in some different version of Equestria I'm not just going to abandon them!"
I set her down and grabbed her horn to turn her invisible alongside me.
"You are my friend and I am not going to risk you getting hurt to change a fight I know will come out alright!"
"How do you know it will?"
"I just know!"
As I said that, the hand I was using to hold her lit up with a deep blue glow. I didn't have time to react as it expanded to cover her entire head and made her eyes glow a soft white. I immediately let go and the blue glow went away as well. The white glow in her eyes persisted for another five seconds before it too went away.
"Rarity? Are you alright?" I asked tentatively.
"I... think so... What did you just-"
"Rarity, I need to check on something. Alright?"
"Now? But Lucien is fighting Bronze Gear all alone right now!"
"...Rarity, how did you know that?"
"Because I-" Rarity started but stopped short. "...I just... knew. It's like I had read about it before and I knew that he was in trouble."
I looked over to the battle and saw Applejack trying to talk to him while they were pushing him off of his back.
"Did I just stumble upon Twilight's memory spell?"
"It does indeed feel like it. Not quite the same I believe but it just has the same... sameness. Not very eloquent I admit but I don't really have Twilight's expertise in the field of magic."
There was a yell from Lucien, but I ignored it.
"I still need to check something. It might be important."
"Well, now that I seem to know what you know I suppose I can wait."
We both winced at a loud explosion and the heat it generated despite the distance. The fight was now in the magic portion. I took a look over to it and got to see the ball of lava hanging in midair. That was pretty damn cool to look at. Still, I was exceedingly glad that their fight was moving away from us. I did not want to have to defend against any of that crap.
I ignored the secondary explosions and the growing abundance of flames to check on Rarity. I placed my hand just above her horn, but without touching her mane, and focused. I then felt inside her head. I wasn't happy to feel the familiar sensation of a bit of my magic suffused in her brain. It didn't have the same feel to it as when it was implanted in Rainbow Dash, but I didn't use the same method either. This was going to be uncomfortable.
"Rarity, I may have done something... inadvertently bad to you when that magic activated."
"Bad how?" she asked slowly with some trepidation.
I hesitated for a moment before pressing on with a sigh.
"I might have accidentally put a mental command in your head to make you gradually fall in love with me."
"YOU DID WHAT!?!" she yelled with newly widened eyes.
"I didn't mean to! It was an accident like I said!"
I think the shiver she let off was the most telling of all.
"I can fix it so don't worry."
"You had better fix it! I am not going to have myself fall head over hooves for... this!" she said motioning over all of me. "It just feels so horribly right!"
Yeah, we both realized what she had said pretty quickly.
"I think I better fix this now."
"Agreed," she said with a slight blush.
I once again placed my hand on her head. I felt around once again to lock on to the unnatural magic. As soon as I had a firm grasp on it I began to absorb the foreign magic into myself. There was less of it than there was with Rainbow Dash so it only took about twenty seconds to finish. I removed my hand and looked her straight in the eyes from up close.
"That's it. Do you still remember everything?"
"Of course I do. Why wouldn't I?"
"Well, I did this accidently one other time and when I fixed it there was some memory loss afterwards."
She then fixed me with a stern glare.
"Who did you do this to?" she asked in an equally stern tone.
"Rainbow Dash," I said looking away. "I didn't even know I had done it until days later when she started showing... symptoms."
"I see."
We sat there in silence for a bit. I wasn't sure when I had turned invisible, but I only noticed when Rarity had touched my chest. I didn't want to turn visible, but I knew she would want to look at me. Therefore, I simply extended my invisibility to her so she could see me.
"I suppose since it was an accident and you fixed it before anything unsavory happened then I can forgive you for it. However, only on the condition that you tell Rainbow Dash about what happened and apologize to her."
As I agreed, it made me flashback to the event. A more accurate flashback thanks to my memory spell. As such it also made me remember something. I caused the memory loss intentionally. That means I didn't need to bring it up when I did. Curse my desire to repress the whole event. While we're at it, curse my damn desires!
Rarity started to poke me about then. When I looked at her she pointed out of the stall. I followed her outstretched hoof and noticed that the battle had been concluded. That was good. With the fight done the two of us could continue on to our goal.
...Which may or may not take longer as a black spade seemed to materialize on the counter in front of me. I mean a spade like on playing cards not the one for digging. It turned a little bit and then kind of insisted on the direction it was now pointed in. I looked out to where it pointed and saw another spade materialize on a wrecked stall not too far away.
"I think we're being summoned."
"By whom?"
"If I had to guess, it's probably someone we both know."
"Is it really necessary to be so cryptic?"
"...Let's just follow them. I don't want to draw any attention to us just in case."
Rarity and I cautiously followed the spades out of the thoroughly wrecked market area and proceeded into a more residential area. Out standing in front of one of these buildings was a familiar blue stallion wearing a top hat. Like I said, it was someone who we both knew. One of us knew more than the other.
"Greeting you two," he said sociably. "I'm glad you could make it."
"How is it he can see us?" Rarity asked.
"That's a pretty good question. Would you care to answer the lady's query?"
"Apologies to the young lady. It's a trade secret. Speaking of which I must tend to some business now. It is rather important I'm afraid so if you could accompany me while we discuss your situation that would be most appreciated."
He waited there to let us respond. It wasn't something that I was expecting him to do. Rarity and I looked at each other and I simply shrugged.
"I doubt it would hurt," Rarity said.
I turned back to him and nodded.
"Splendid! Now, follow me."
Sandcroft turned around and the entire door lit up in a green glow. After hearing a few shuffling sounds, the door opened up for him. He then walked in followed by the two of us. The inside looked like a pretty normal place; a little one bedroom and one bathroom apartment-like place. The exception was a trail of rope that was leading from the door to a staircase off to the side. A quick thought made me realize that this was, almost certainly, Bronze Gear's house.
I was in the middle of a pseudo-robbery.
Of course, I couldn't say anything about it. The whole thing was going to happen no matter what. The rope was odd since there wasn't any in the story, but everything else there would be just how I think it would have appeared if it were more detailed. We didn't touch anything either as we followed him down the stairs to the basement. Again, the door to there was lit up for a bit before he opened it and went inside.
When we followed him, what we found was quite impressive. Schematic designs, half-built machinery, a steam engine, and all sorts of other works and parts were strewn about everywhere. This was obviously a place where someone who worked with their... hooves lived. Sandcroft wasn't as impressed as I was. Rarity was simply avoiding the whole thing by staying at the base of the stairs.
"Did we really need to come to a place with so much junk?"
Sandcroft didn't answer her. He was too busy looking at some parchment on one of the tables. He then smirked and rolled up the parchment. His horn lit up and before our eyes black, misty holes appeared under everything not nailed down. Just after they appeared, everything that they materialized under started sinking into the holes.
"There we are," he said cheerfully. "With that being taken care of we can discuss the matter of your appearance here."
"As happened last time I can surmise that you know exactly the reason why we are here."
"Quite. There is a tear in the fabric of space that carries a tint of your essence. I believe you are here for that."
"Exactly. The two of us are here to seal it. Hopefully for the last time."
"Agreed. Your presence here is, despite my cheerful expression, an annoyance to my continuing plans here. Though I am grateful for your non-interference in the battle earlier. It would have... complicated things."
"Yeah, great. I doubt anything was going to happen that required any action on our part."
He gave me a narrowed gaze that was so quick that I almost missed it.
"Indeed. Now I believe we have the matter of this tear to attend to."
The black holes, which had finished removing almost everything there, disappeared after completing their task. As they did his horn lit up again. The difference this time was that his eyes glowed as well. After a few tense seconds we were utterly surprised as the tear appeared in the far corner of the room.
"What the hell?"
"Don't be so shocked. It originally appeared here. I simply phased it out of this space the minute I felt it appear. You were fortunate that Bronze Gear was out or there could have been more complications," he finished looking at Rarity.
"So is there a reason you didn't tell me about this before?"
"You neither asked about it nor even seemed aware of its existence. As such I merely kept it tucked away. Such an interesting thing it was too."
Flashes of Nightmare Moon came unbidden to the forefront of my mind.
"Don't tell me you've been messing with it," I said in a very serious tone.
"Oh all I've done is observe it. Nothing to be concerned about."
Yeah, just hearing that made me concerned.
"No need to keep dragging this along. Go ahead and seal the tear. I need to tend to a few more pieces of business before the end of the day."
It honestly felt like I was doing his dirty work more than helping out others right then. Still, I handed off Eris to Rarity. She then somewhat reluctantly went over and sealed the rift as she was asked. This brought a wider smile out of the top hat wearing pony as Rarity walked back to me.
"Magnificent! I'm glad you could take care of that little issue."
Rarity handed back Eris as we both kept an eye on him.
"Now then, there is one last thing I must say before you both leave."
As he finished saying that, I felt a presence right next to my ear. Before I could move I heard it whisper in my ear.
"Don't you or any of your kind come to this world again or there will be consequences."
"Isn't Lucien still here though?"
As the light from Eris enveloped us, I heard one last thing.
"That isn't what I meant."
Author's Note
Once again, a big thank you to Sandcroft for giving me permission to use Ungrounded in my story. Go read all his stories while you're at it.
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
I was casually observing as Rarity got a group hug from the other ponies present. I was more interested in the fact that Princess Luna had shown up. It was the first time that any of the princesses had taken a personal interest in the current problem. That wasn't to say that they weren't concerned or anything. I just was surprised that she came now instead of earlier when they were notified by Twilight Sparkle. It just felt like if either of came at some point it would've been more prudent to have come sometime after the beginning of the mess like around the time we got back from the first world. Then again the response from any of the princesses on these kinds of matters was hit and miss anyway. I guess I should be glad that they actually came to take a look. Now that I think about it they probably didn't show up earlier because there wasn't anything that they could do in the first place. Only we were capable of fixing the current situation.
"How art thou doing Seth?"
"Eh, I'm alright."
"Good, good," she said almost... bashfully? "I came to discuss something... troubling I saw in a dream of yours last night."
Yeah, I didn't like the sound of that... Which is exactly what I told her.
"Yeah... I don't like the way that sounds. I don't really remember too much about the dreams I have most of the time. I mean, sometimes I have prophetic dreams that I can remember when they are occurring in the non-dreaming world-"
"Yes, you have shown us one of those before."
"I have?"
"Yes, thou hast. That is not what I wished to talk about. It is about the contents of the dream you had last night."
"Okay then. Should we talk here or somewhere more private?"
"Privacy would be better for this."
I nodded and looked to the others.
"I'll be back in a minute. Luna and I have something we need to discuss."
"Don't take too long," Rainbow Dash said. "It's my turn next and I'm getting tired of waiting."
"Alright, I get it," I said with while moving my hands in a placating manner. I tuned to Luna next. "Come on your majesty."
Princess Luna's horn lit up and with a flash we had teleported to a new location. Oddly enough, she had moved us to the living room in the cabin. Thankfully I didn't spot Discord or anything that could resemble Discord. She wanted this to be private so him not being there was kind of paramount.
"Okay. So... you wanted to talk about something..." I said trying to coax out what she was trying to tell me.
"As I said before, this is about the contents of the dream thou hadst last night... I... am not quite sure how to address this."
Is she fidgeting? She was totally fidgeting. Why is she fidgeting? I need more answers and less fidgeting now please.
"You see, I came upon the dream realms last night as I am oft to do. For some reason, I kept hearing my name in yours and decided to check in to make sure everything was alright. I remember you saying in your dream before that I was to knock before entering and only afterwards do I realize that you may have been correct in such matters."
"This is taking an odd sounding turn here Luna. And yes, you should always knock before entering. Anime rule of funny 101."
"We are not sure what you mean, but it is not the issue here. When I appeared inside of your dream I came upon a rather peculiar sight. You were standing on a balcony wearing only a pair of shorter pants than those you are wearing now."
"They're called shorts Luna."
"Yes, well, you were only wearing these shorts and instead of your normal build looked quite conditioned if I am to believe. There with you was a woman who was also dressed in very little clothing. I thought not much of it until I realized something. Her hair was exactly the same as my mane."
I figured out the implication of that pretty quickly. Still, I held my tongue. I didn't remember it so I needed to make sure I wasn't in some kind of trouble. That would suck... probably a lot.
"Now I have seen many a dream over the time I have been the guardian of the dream realms and as such I was aware that sometimes mares and stallions will have dreams that tend to be more... personal in nature and that I do not venture into as such. However, It has been such a long time since there was a dream that had included myself in dream form that we admit we were too curious to leave immediately. As such, we witnessed quite a nice lovely scene where you and ourselves staring out into the ocean as the moon rose over the horizon."
"That's sounds pretty nice," I decided to interject with.
"It was. That is until you moved us closer by grabbing our hindquarters. 'Twere it not for the dream coming to an end we suspect that you moving closer was to mean that you were 'making the move' on us."
"Celestia taught you that expression didn't she?" I asked dryly.
"Where I learned it is of little importance. We have not been dreamt of favorably in over a thousand years save for the children that dreamt of us on Nightmare Night in Ponyville. No one has dreamed of us in thine manner in an even greater period. We will admit that it was... pleasant to see. However, we must tell you-"
"Let me stop you right there Luna," I interjected. "If you had said that you saw yourself there in pony form I would be more concerned about what you were talking about. The fact was that you were in a human form there. To me that indicates that it was merely lust and not love."
"We do not see the difference. Love is not something that does not cross special lines after all."
"I can agree somewhat with that, but not in this instance."
"Are you telling us that you know more about dreams than we, the Princess of the Night, knows?"
"That isn't the point. I've never been in love and I don't think that I could feel that for someone I've had less than a few hours of interaction with. I mean if you want to try a date or something I suppose I-"
"I believe it is my turn to interrupt," Luna stated. "As flattered as I am to see a possible interest of the romantic persuasion from another, I do not find myself sharing this type of interest in you. Although, it is my wish that the two of us could become friends."
At that point I wasn't even focused on why she kept slipping out of royal speak. I wasn't even relieved that she got me out of the situation that she had caused herself. Instead, I was actually stricken with dismay at how I was brushed aside so quickly and casually. I mean, damn. Was I really that undesirable? I know she probably had time to think about it, but I barely even had time to consider it at all before I was shot down in flames more fierce than the sun.
"Are you feeling okay?" she asked after a short period of time.
"Yeah, yeah I'm good," I lied. "I'm just glad that nothing bad came out of this."
"As are we," she replied with a smile. "Come now. We need to return so that you can continue your quest."
Luna's horn lit up and with a flash the two of us were back where we started.
"Are you both done?" Rainbow Dash asked me impatiently as she got into my face. "It's my turn to help save Equestria!"
"Before you both leave I'd like to have a word with him," Rarity cut in.
"Aww, come on!"
"It won't take long dear, I assure you."
"Alright," she huffed and plopped down on the ground in front of me.
Rarity walked over and pulled me aside to chat privately.
"Now Seth, while you're out on this excursion I want you to take the time to apologize to Rainbow Dash for what you did."
"You're going to have me do this now instead of after we're done? Why?"
"Because if you didn't want to talk about it before you are not going to want to talk about it at all unless somepony pushes you to do it. I'm going to give you that push. Either you tell her while you are alone with her during your trip or I'm going to tell her later."
I felt like I could go without the ultimatum. Unfortunately I also knew she was right. I tended to procrastinate over things I didn't want to do. This definitely qualified in that regard.
"Alright I'll work it in somewhere along the line while we're there."
"Good. Remember, I'm going to hold you to your word."
"I get it. I get it," I said disarmingly.
I really didn't want to hear her drag on with that. Fortunately she dropped it there. That led to the both of us heading back over to the two remaining rifts where Rainbow Dash was eagerly awaiting her sojourn. It was pretty obvious just how impatient she was getting.
"Hurry up!"
Things like that were big clues.
"I keep tellin' ya Dash, there ain't no need tah be so impatient."
"I just want to go back and kick some tail while we fix up what's wrong. I wasn't even awake for very much and all I remember was being in that building for a short bit before Seth came in and saved me. I want to see if I can get some payback."
"Sorry to say this Dash, but if you don't know who was behind it then I'm not sure how you'd be able to do it. No one is going to tell you they did it just so they can get in trouble for it. Besides, didn't you beat up that one guy who shot me?"
"Yeah, but that was one guy who probably wasn't even responsible for it. I still say I can find them. I mean how hard could it be?"
"Do you want that list in alphabetical or statistical order?" I deadpanned.
"I believe a good, proper list is done in chronological order," I heard Twilight comment.
"Only in checklist form Twilight. A regular list requires situational knowledge to be made properly."
"While that may make some sense I-"
"Will you two stop being eggheads so we can get a move on?" she asked while flying up in between us.
"Right you are!" I yelled bombastically. "Actions speak louder than words!"
I then grabbed her out of the air and pressed her against my side.
"To the next adventure!" I yelled and reached out to touch the rift.
My vision was filled up with the usual bright light that I was getting used to. It faded soon like it always did. Where I found us was quite different than usual despite it being similar to last time. We had appeared on the Watchtower again. The difference, other than Rainbow Dash being with me of course, was that we had appeared on the bridge surrounded by about thirty people. Half of them were heroes. I immediately had my hands up.
"Not here to fight!" I yelled to try and disarm the situation.
Most everyone relaxed somewhat upon hearing that. One that was not included in that number was Batman. Oh joy. I was worried that he would think that I had been dishonest with him. Another one which was more of an immediate problem was Rainbow Dash who was now hovering in place.
"Come on! I think we can take 'em! I mean look at some of these guys!"
"Dash," I said casting a sidelong glance at her, "we do not fight the good guys. Understand?"
"Aww, I haven't gotten to do anything fun," she replied crossing her forelegs.
Like I expected, Batman came over to address us. I wasn't quite sure what he was going to say. Therefore I just preempted him before he could say anything.
"I know. It's complicated. I can tell you what you want to know. Is my usual room available?" I finished jokingly.
He didn't rise to my humor of course. He simply pointed in a direction silently. I gave a salute and we three started heading that way.
"What are we doing now?" Dash asked with some annoyance.
I let out a sigh.
"Explaining things... again."
Author's Note
Ha! You thought I was going to go all romance with Luna trope weren't you? Nope!
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
Oh God Why Did I Write This?
The second time waiting in that room wasn't as boring as the first time. For one I had a co-occupant with me in Rainbow Dash. She wasn't a conversationalist by any means, but having company in that drab room was welcome. After Batman left us to do Batman things I did a remodel of the room. The table and chairs were replaced with a small couch pointed at the door. Across from the couch was a small wooden table which had some popcorn, soda, and a few types of candy that Dash had asked for. The two of us then just lazed out on the couch as I played a movie. I was going to play 'Last Action Hero' but that had too many references that she wouldn't get. Instead I just played Jackie Chan's The Legend of Drunken Master. She seemed to like it.
I was considering what to play next when Batman came back in holding some file folders. Trailing him in were Martian Manhunter and the Flash. I understood J'onn but not Wally. I couldn't figure that out at all.
"Made yourselves at home I see," Flash commented.
"I'm not going to sit in a metal chair for who knows how long. I did that last time and it ached for quite a while. Not bad, but I think you get it."
"Enough," Batman said sternly. "We have a few issues that need to be discussed."
"I understand. Anybody want anything before I put it away?" I asked while getting up.
"Got any ribs?" Flash asked. "I could go for some ribs."
I snapped my fingers and a stand appeared in front of him with a plate of what he asked for.
"There you go. Full slab of ribs plus some boneless ribs too. They're from a restaurant my aunt owns. It's a nice little place I go to on occasion."
"Thanks," was all he said before tearing into them. I simply levitated my soda from the table to my hand and finished it off while I watched him tear through all of it in about twenty seconds.
"Wow he might be faster than I am!"
"Oh right! Manners," I said while making my drink disappear. "Rainbow Dash these gentlemen are Batman, The Flash, and Martian Manhunter. Wait, is that okay or would you prefer J'onn?"
"Either is fine," he said stoically.
"Alright, cool. Guys this is Rainbow Dash; the fastest flyer in Equestria and the bearer of the Element of Loyalty."
"Nice to meet ya!" she said as she flew up in front of them and offered them a hoof. Only Flash took her offer and shook it. Of course he forgot that he still had barbecue sauce on his hand and got it on her as a result. I rolled my eyes and made each of them a washcloth. Batman took that moment to speak.
"The last time we heard about you was from the report Weapon Master gave to us. You successfully rescued Miss Dash here from a warehouse where she was being held captive in. After the two of you disappeared all of the kidnappers were arrested and we performed an investigation to see if there were any more perpetrators. In the end, we couldn't find any others. That would bring us to the present. You told me that you were here to get your friend and return her home. You had accomplished that aim. Why then have you returned here with her?"
"That," I said after sighing, "is the problem I'm working on now. It might be easier to explain what happened after I left here. Would that work?"
"Go on," Batman said with a gesture.
"Well, after I left I also rescued Twilight pretty easily. Then Celestia, who is a ruler of the land, had me go after Discord because letting him go free was a terrible idea. When I did I ended up back home with Discord waiting for me. However it was the future Discord who had sent me in the first place. He promptly took all of my magic from me and left me there while he returned to turn himself in."
"Wait a second, I thought he trapped you there and returned so he could gloat about it."
"No. He spent a lot of time on Earth. Doing so actually got him to partially reform. Fluttershy finished the job when you released him later."
"That doesn't really make sense," Dash spoke with confusion.
"Neither does him returning after he supposedly trapped Seth," Batman explained. "From what I was told there was no one else who could pursue him. Though it seems that you may have been less than honest about that."
"I'm going to get to that," I said disarmingly. "Anyways, I ended up going into a bit of a depression as a bunch of negative stuff happened after that and a year almost to the day passed from then and Discord came back to get me. After being depressed for that long I jumped at the chance. There were some issues, some incidents, and a great discovery that Eris, the coin I showed you last time, gradually recovered while I was there and restored my ability to use magic. She even gained some measure of awareness.
"After some short amount of time passed, I was visited by an acquaintance of mine who told me that the rifts I had sealed were opening up again. This is the issue we're at now. We went to check it out and after some talking we found out that I had only partially fixed the problem. I had brought back everyone and sealed the rift after I came through. However-"
"That didn't seal the rift where they arrived at," Batman finished for me.
"Exactly. I have to go find the rift that they came in from and have her use Eris to seal it. If we don't, the universe could cease to exist."
Two sets of wide eyes and Batman's as well looked at each other. Damn he's good at schooling his expression.
"Fortunately from what we could tell we still have a lot of time left. Other than wanting to get rid of us we're not in a big rush. That said I tend to wear out any welcome I usually get so I'd rather leave on a positive note."
"We understand, but there are a few things we want to talk about before we can get started helping you. First is this."
He picked up the top folder and opened it away from me.
"We ran a check on you that didn't get back to us until after you had left. We got a match to a set of prints in Indiana on file. This is you correct?"
He turned the file around to show a small card with set of fingerprints from both hands. It also had my full name and the address for the first place I lived at in the state.
"Wow, I remember that. Our elementary school class took a field trip to a local prison. I remember we all had our fingerprints taken for fun and took a short tour away from the prisoners. That's pretty cool to know that that happened here too. That means I have a doppelganger here! Oh man I've always wanted to meet a copy of me before!"
"I'm afraid that's not going to happen," he said turning the folder back to himself. "We kept tracking this Seth to make sure you weren't the same person. Our trail lead us to North Caroline. We found this there."
He turned the file around to me again. This time my blood ran cold as ice. He showed me a coroner's report; one with my name on it. Death by cause of drowning.
"According to the report he died from drowning in the ocean. This occurred in the late winter of 1996. It was written down as an accident."
"Heh. You know, I remember something like that happening once. It was about a month before we moved to Indiana again. My family took a trip to the coast to look at the lighthouses. We were walking along the beach and I remember being told not to go too close to the water. Since I was a kid I really didn't pay a lot of attention to where I was and ended up getting pretty close to the water to look at some pretty stones and seashells. I didn't even know what was happening when my dad picked me up and ran back inland. We got maybe a dozen plus feet in when we got hit by a pretty big wave. It splashed up around his shoulders, but he managed to stay on his feet and kept running until we were far up on shore. I got scolded for not listening and we went home since I ruined the nice time we were having."
"Apparently there was a strong riptide off and on that day. Instead of being carried to safety both Seth and his father were caught and swept out to sea. The father was found by the Coast Guard just before sunset. He was still alive but very weak. However the body of Seth was found the next day. He was buried in a cemetery near his father's hometown."
"Fuck man. Just... yikes. Why even tell me that?"
"We were uncertain if you were the same Seth from this universe," J'onn spoke evenly. "When we talked before I sensed some odd energies surrounding your mind. Even now I still sense this strange occurrence inside your mind. It seemed to peak when you recalled events from your past."
"It's a memory spell. It helps me with recollection of events since I can get absentminded sometimes."
"We were also concerned because there are faint traces of the same energy in your friend's mind."
Oh crap.
"What are you talking about?" she asked him.
"There are faint traces of the energy that he uses inside of your mind as well. They are mostly centered around the same area as himself, but this seems to have been removed in you as opposed to how active his is. Originally we suspected mental tampering to the both of you. It seems now as though it was voluntary on only one of you."
"So somebody messed with my head?" she asked him and turned to face me. "Was it Discord?"
Oh god those eyes. I just about teared up simply looking into them. I had to tell her now.
"No. It was my fault."
"Your fault? What do you mean by that?"
"I was going to talk about it when we were by ourselves, but I doubt I have a choice now. Do you remember that incident when Twilight broke my game?"
"Kinda yeah. What does that have to do with anything?"
"Do you remember keeping a lookout for me to keep me out of the library?"
"I don't really remember that part. Twilight said I was supposed to, but all I remember was talking to you for a second before taking off."
"Yeah that... was my fault. I didn't find out until later, but I accidentally hypnotized you then. It's sort of like what Discord did to you when he was released the first time except I didn't even know I was doing it to you. His was using words to trick you into changing while mine was just direct eye contact."
"That... doesn't sound too bad I guess."
"Well I didn't even know I had done it until some... side effects became evident."
"Side effects?"
"Yeah. It happened when I turned you human and we drove up to the rifts the first time on this go around."
"Yeah. I know what you mean. I got bored after a little bit and fell asleep. Then you woke me up when we got there and after you turned me back into a pony we pulled those awesome pranks on the guards."
"Nice," Flash said with a grin and a nod. A hard look from Batman got rid of that grin.
"Yeah those were fun, but before that you actually didn't fall asleep. I ended up hearing you talk about the Wonderbolts until we cleared the forest and I sped up on the plains. That was where things got strange."
"Strange how?" she asked.
"Eghhhh... you know, would you rather see it or hear it? Actually I don't want to say it. I'm just going to show you."
A clap of my hands and suddenly we were exiting a forest while looking like we were on the hood of a car. It was scene I was talking about. I instead shifted the point of view as if we were on the hood of the 'Cuda.
"This is a lot better. I can definitely feel the wind blowing through my mane just like it does when I'm flying. "
"I'm glad you like it. I was starting to think you wouldn't be cheery at all. "
"You know, there's another reason I wanted to come with you in the car. "
"Really? What? "
"I wanted to talk about something with you. "
"You could've come by anytime you wanted to talk. "
"No I couldn't. I need to talk to you... alone "
"Why would you- "
I watched as past me did a double take at the nervous Rainbow Dash. He then whipped back around to face the road. This was going to be uncomfortable.
"Oooookay? "
"I-I don't know how to say this... but... IthinkIreallylikeyou! "
I think I saw Dash's jaw drop as she watched herself during that awkward pause.
"...Is that you Discord? "
"What? NO! "
"I was just checking! "
"This is really hard for me to say! I don't know how or why or when but at some point I started looking at you and I just felt... a connection. Like you were someone I wanted to be around. It was like how I felt with my friends but... somehow more. Now, with just the two of us here and nopony else, I just feel like you and me, together, it just feels right. "
"I... fe-... di-... I... "
"Smooth kid."
"Hey! I've never had anything like that happen to me before! Girls don't like me. Nobody fucking likes me like that," I finished quietly.
We all continued watching as past Dash grabbed me by the back of the neck.
"When there's something I want I go for it whether it's the Wonderbolts or some clueless guy who can't seem to make a move. "
"You, uh, really ought to be wearing your seat belt. "
"Again... smooth."
"Forget about the seat belt ," she said as she leaned in closer. "Let's focus on this. "
I winced as I watched her give me a small kiss on the cheek. Yeah, it felt nice when it happened, but now it just felt like shame.
"I don't have to be Applejack to know how honest your face is being right now. "
Oh geez. I was looking and acting like Rito Yuuki from To Love Ru. I hated how he would just stammer and do nothing. I guess I can't be so critical of him since I did the same thing. Oh, and now she was frenching me.
"Hey," Flash said. "You're not going to show-"
"It didn't go that far," I preempted him. "Watch."
We did indeed watch as she started to dull in color a bit.
"What is happening here?" Batman asked.
"It's one of the effects of Discordanence. The afflicted party loses a sense of self and as such their color starts to drain away. I saw the change in her hair and it took all my effort to focus on it instead of just going with the moment."
"What are you doing? "
"Dash, I think you may have been tricked into doing this. "
"No I haven't! "
"Dash I won't lie and say that it would be wonderful if you really felt that way about me. I would love it if any woman felt that way about me. It just isn't real. "
"It is real! I feel it!"
I kept watching as she grabbed my arm and placed my hand on her chest.
"You can feel it too right? "
"This is getting pretty uncomfortable to watch," Flash stated.
Yeah, I was feeling pretty guilty watching this too as past me pulled Rainbow Dash in close.
"Sleep my dear, " we barely heard as she complied.
There was a moment where I could feel the relief from everyone else there. The exception to that was Rainbow Dash. It was probably because she wasn't sure how to feel. I could somewhat understand.
"Discord! Get your motherfucking ass out here right now! "
A moment passed where nothing happened followed by me snapping my fingers and the hood ornament Discord appearing.
"Discord you son of a bitch! What have you done? "
"Well, well, well, what exactly have you been up to while I was away? "
"Oh don't you dare Discord. She started coming onto me suddenly and strongly on the drive here and I had to stop her because you did this to her! "
"That's Discord?" Batman asked.
"Yep."
"As amusing as that sounds I can assure you that I did no such thing. "
"That's bullshit! Take a look at her hair. That's your M.O.: fading colors mixed with a personality change. "
I watched as something I didn't see before happened. Discord's eyes lit up in a shade of blue while in the back seat. I didn't actually notice this at the time. I remembered trying to look back at him a few times and then trying to levitate Dash back into her seat like it was showing. It had to have been during one of my glances back. There's no reason why I would put that in if it didn't happen.
"Well this is certainly a surprise. "
"What, that I'd be pissed? "
"No my boy. You did this to her. "
A few of us winced as I dropped Rainbow Dash in shock.
"What are you talking about? I wouldn't do this to her! "
"And yet the evidence is to the contrary. I may be good at mental manipulation, but this is more than just that. This is surprisingly thorough. Not only was her usual personality not truly subverted it was actually used as a base to allow more true feelings to build properly towards a certain route. There are even a few triggers in place to help things along. The most notable one has her make a move on you if she was turned human. It's so intricate that only someone versed in the field would notice the changes. "
We all watched as Discord smirked devilishly as my face grew more... haunted I guess would be the best term. It culminated with my little outburst.
"This is the bullshitiest hax power I think that the term great power and great responsibility could be most appropriate to use for me. "
"It is quite an accomplishment for someone this new to the whims of chaos to be capable to such changes to someone's mental state. You really must have some prior conception to the field. "
A sharp bark of laughter marked when Discord read my mind.
"Dammit Discord! "
"That is going into the blackmail folder for later. It does explain things however. Some of them anyway. Deep down inside you wanted a sexy, submissive woman to treat yourself with. Someone who you could make to love you despite all of your faults. A pretty sad thing I might add. "
Yeah, that still hurt. Even more so considering the recent events.
"I don't want to hear the psychoanalysis right now. I just want to get her back to normal. "
"It will take a bit of time, but place your hand on her head and search through her mind for your magic. When you find it simply reabsorb it into yourself. "
"It sounds easy enough. "
"You're lucky I'm so impressed with what you did. From where her head is I could've said that you had to do something more vulgar to make it work. "
A song came onto the radio making me remember that Discord could be a real jerk.
"What's with the song?" Flash asked.
"He's being an ass by playing a song that's called 'Something in Your Mouth'."
"Man that Discord is kind of a jerk," Flash stated.
"Most of the time yeah," I reiterated. "He's too damn powerful to ignore though."
"I'll just leave you to work on that, " he said before there was a flash of light that signaled his departure.
I let the illusion fade away there.
"From there I pulled the magic out of her mind to get rid the effect it was causing her. Right before she woke up I also decided to erase her memory of the event. It wasn't really her thinking that and if she woke up remembering that but not feeling the same way... I don't really know what might have happened. Most of all, though, I did it because I felt ashamed. Ashamed that I had done that to someone I had considered a friend."
Hell, at that point I did start tearing up. I couldn't face any of them right then. I waved my hand behind me and felt them all teleport out of the room. I then walled off the entire room with a shield spell so that no one could get in. I caught a glimpse of myself in the two way mirror and hated what I saw right then.
"Fuck you you asshole."
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
Getting Over Your Own Stupidity
Here lies Seth's lazy ass. Woe be unto his stupid ass. He's here because he's a giant ass. Still he's in the worst place for an ass. Because heroes know how to kick ass. So let's see how he saves his ass.
Let's try this again... Seth had turned the couch around so that it now angled away from both the door and the two way mirror. He decided to simply lay there, cry for a little bit, and generally just wallow in self-recrimination. They tried calling for him in the beginning, but he simply soundproofed the room. Even if he would've liked to hear some reassuring words he just didn't want to hear them until he had gotten all of this murky crap out of his system.
However, this was taking place on the Watchtower. It's an orbiting space station filled with superheroes and operating personnel. You aren't going to get away from that. It's merely a matter of time until they can work around the problem. What was really surprising was how long it took them to use the intercom to the room to talk to him.
"Seth, are you feeling any better?" he heard Dash ask.
"Somewhat."
"Well a few of the people wanted to know if you took requests."
"Requests? Requests for what?"
"Um, well those songs you were playing before kind of played everywhere around here."
"..."
"...You still there?"
"...Tell them I can only do songs I've heard before."
"Yeah I can do that."
There was a bit of a lull before she spoke up again.
"Did you want to talk now?"
The shield went down long enough for Rainbow Dash to get teleported into the room before going back up. She quickly reoriented herself and hovered up and over the couch to look him in the eyes. Well, in a manner of speaking anyway. His eyes weren't open. He was still vaguely aware of her presence though.
"Come on Seth. Since when are you this moody?"
"Probably whenever I do something bad to my friends. I mean hypnotism was always cool in my head, but I never wanted to do it to people."
"You didn't mean to do it though."
"That just makes things worse," he said opening his eyes; not even surprised at how close her face was. "I have a power that I can't control. What if I used it on someone and they hurt themselves or others like I hurt you?"
"Well why don't you just practice then? You need to practice if you want to get good at anything."
"This shouldn't be something I ought to be practicing!"
"If you don't then you're definitely going to mess things up."
"Who the hell would I even practice this with!?"
"I'll do it," she said firmly.
That poor car. It couldn't brake hard enough to avoid that surprise.
"You'll what?"
"You heard me. You can practice with me."
"This is how this all started-"
"And that's why it would be better for me to do this with you. I know you won't do anything bad because you felt bad about doing it before. You can still undo it anyway, remember? You need to practice. It's like Twilight with her new wings. She's still practicing with them because she needs to. She has to or else it could be a problem later. Just like this is a problem for you now. So go ahead and hit me with that whammy!"
He groaned and sat up on the couch. He knew how stubborn Rainbow Dash could be. Hell he could be just as stubborn if he wanted to. After feeling like crap for the last forty minutes though, and the pony he felt he had wronged was telling him to do it again, his resistance to it was waning considerably. Still, there was a little bit left.
"Why would you even do this after what you saw happened?"
"I'll admit... when I saw that at first I was kind of shocked. Maybe a little hurt too I guess. I don't think I've ever acted quite like that before. But I also saw that you stopped and fixed what you did. You didn't have to do it, but you did. You still feel bad about it even now. If you weren't my friend you wouldn't feel this bad about it at all. Well, you'd still feel bad I guess, but you felt worse because you did it to your friend. Since it was an accident I can let it slide. Especially because you're a friend. And you know what I say about my friends right?"
"You never leave a friend hanging."
"Exactly!"
"Alright fine. I swear if I accidentally regress you to a foal then that is not on me."
"It preeetty much will be, but I get ya."
She flew up a bit and looked into the two way mirror.
"I'm gonna help him with the hypno-thingie okay?"
"I'd like to be present for the attempt if possible," J'onn droned through the intercom.
In response the shield was lowered and the soundproofing was removed. When those went away J'onn phased through the wall and mirror into the room.
"You know it's actually a good thing to have you here. Having a telepath keeping an eye on this can help make sure I don't screw up."
"It doesn't mean we have to like it though," Batman said as he walked into the room. "I'm of the opinion that we should contain you as a threat."
"C'mon Bats," Flash said walking in behind him, "I mean none of us knew how to use our abilities at first either. I bet it took you years to get that scowl just right."
The non-League members in the room had a chuckle over that.
"Yeah, well, my problem seems to be that I keep getting new powers all the time. I got stared at and became self-conscious and my invisibility kicked in. I wanted to show off a bit in front of Twilight and I got my offensive magic beam. I needed to calm down an entire town and I figured out illusions to do it. Even my hypnosis was an effect of needing to get past Rainbow Dash as I couldn't come up with an excuse and that happened instead."
"And now you're pretty good at all that stuff," Dash added. "That's because you practiced with them and got better at using them. Well, not the hypno-thingie yet."
"Hypnotism Dash, hypnotism."
"Right, that."
"You're not helping Dash."
"Um, yeah I am."
A quick sigh escaped his mouth before he began to simply stare at Rainbow Dash.
"So are you-"
He held up a hand to keep her from talking. He thought back to the first time that he hypnotized Dash. Oh it wasn't that he couldn't remember what events transpired that day. The problem he had was that his memory spell only worked on his episodic memory. He could recall events flawlessly, but he couldn't remember his thoughts while the events were occurring. It made the process of figuring out how to repeat his ability harder.
And then, he was struck by an epiphany. Why did he think he couldn't control it? Why did he think it would be hard to do so? Every time he did gain an ability it felt like second nature for him to be able to use it again. Invisibility, teleportation, illusions, shields, and magic beams all became second nature to him almost immediately after his initial use. Why would it be any different for this?
Using that reasoning he tried applying what he knew about hypnosis to make it actively work. Hypnotism was about imposing your will over another into a submissive state without physically dominating them. Sure you can use physical triggers like touching them but you don't need to be physically imposing to be good at hypnotism. Hypnotism was kind of like martial arts in that manner as martial arts were made for people who were physically weaker to fend off large attackers. In this endeavor it meant that he had to mentally suppress his intended target's will and instill his own in it's place. Not something you'd want to try on a green lantern I bet. With that thought process in his head he focused on mentally dominating his willing target.
It didn't take long to get results.
"It seems that you have suppressed young Rainbow Dash's conscious thoughts," J'onn spoke up. "There doesn't seem to be any invading influences as of yet."
He noticed the change as well. Her eyes were dilated quite massively and yet somehow there seemed to be no light reflecting off of them. A very odd appearance indeed.
"So what exactly is happening right now?" Batman asked.
"It seems as though while her conscious thoughts are being suppressed her subconscious mind has not taken over. Her mind seems to be balanced between the two. It doesn't feel like mind control either. Normally when a mind is invaded there is a struggle between the two conscious minds for dominance. In this case it seems that he caused... harmony between the subject's mental states and let her fall into this altered state naturally. It is quite an interesting ability."
"And he did it in like three minutes," Flash commented. "Not something for a fight, but pretty quick from what J'onn told me once."
"Actually I wasn't trying for most of that. I was thinking about how to do it."
"He is correct. From when he began until she was completely suppressed, the time it took was only twenty-two seconds."
Flash let out an impressed whistle.
"The fact that she was a willing participant may have been a factor. However, it seems that the process requires eye contact to perform."
"Physical contact with their head might work too," he said off-handedly.
"How would you know?" Batman asked pointedly.
"Well something sort of similar happened while Rarity, one of her friends, and I were tracking down a rift in the previous world. We were hiding during a small firefight in a parallel version of her home. I was holding her by her he- well, her horn actually."
"Her horn?" Flash interrupted.
"She's a unicorn. It's a subspecies of the pony race. Anyway I was holding her horn to keep her in place so that she wouldn't get involved and some of my magic seeped into her that way. I pulled my hand away almost instantly, but her eyes glowed white for about five seconds afterwards. When she came around she somehow knew things that I had known that she hadn't. I did a check to make sure nothing else was wrong and when I did I found the same issue I found in Rainbow Dash. We removed the magic quickly afterwards."
"It sounds like a memory transference more than your hypnotism," J'onn stated.
"It kind of does sound like that now that you mention it. That would be a new spell. I swear this magic is just making new stuff out of my imagination whenever the correct stimulus comes calling."
"It kind of sounds like it from what you said," Flash commented.
"It's dangerous is what it is," added Batman.
"It's chaos is what it is. Though in a weird way that actually does make sense that it would do that. That's something to think of for another time. Should I test to see if she'll obey commands or should I wake her up?"
"We simply wished to make sure you were capable of freely using your power. I am certain she does not want you to abuse any trust she has placed in you."
"Very, very good point."
A small shake and Rainbow Dash was once again aware.
"Why'd ya shake me? Aren't you going to try and hypnotize me?"
"The attempt has already succeeded," J'onn commented helpfully. "You were simply unaware of it."
"I was?"
"Yep. You shouldn't be able to either or it wouldn't work anyway."
"So that means you can do it when you want to now?"
"Other than the conditions it requires I think so."
"You didn't mess with me right?"
"I was thinking about it as a test, but J'onn was right in that I shouldn't abuse the trust you just gave me."
"I don't know if I would've been okay with that or not, buuuut I guess it doesn't matter. What matters is that you know how to do it and you won't do it by accident. Right?"
"I highly doubt it now that I'm more sure about it. Thanks for helping me out."
"No problem. Now let's go and fix that rift thing!"
After hearing her, there was only one thing to think: I felt like myself again.
Author's Note
A quick nod to Musaigen no Phantom World for helping me remember that it was episodic memory, the memory of events, that the memory spell was affecting and not any other type of memory.
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
Ya Gotta Do What Ya Gotta Do
Honestly, being flanked by several superheroes might seem pretty cool. Let me tell this to you straight. It is. It really is.
J'onn and Batman stayed pretty stoic but I kind of expected that. Batman doesn't trust anyone out of principle and it generally takes years for anyone to gain a decent amount of it in his eyes. J'onn is like that because he doesn't interact with people much and he just defaults to that expression. Flash is just fun to be around. Flash, Dash, and myself have similar senses of humor which helped pass the time while we moved around the Watchtower.
We weren't getting a tour if that was what you were thinking. We took the same route we were ushered from in the beginning since we were headed right back there. Despite the fact that I had a way to track the rift down they wanted to search for it with their equipment first. I felt like they were just being obstinate about it, but they explained what they wanted to do well enough that I could no longer care about it for the time being. We were just just headed there at a pretty sedate pace for some reason. I never got an explanation for it either. Thinking back on it they were probably keeping an eye on me after my little episode. If that was the case I don't blame them.
We eventually did get to the bridge, or the control room I guess would be more accurate. There were still several superheroes and technicians there; more than when I first arrived, in fact, at least as far as the superheroes went. Didn't see the rest of the original seven Justice League members of this timeline anywhere. Guess I wouldn't get that handshake or kiss on this trip either. We still received some guarded looks so I knew at least I was being kept tabs on. Too bad Mousse wasn't there. I know he would've had my back.
"Is there anything you can tell us about this rift that could help us locate it?" Batman asked.
"Not anymore than what the Doctor told me," I replied. I then changed my voice to mimic the Doctor's. "You see when all of the unfortunate events came together the six of you and Discord were thrown across time, space, and dimensions. Each of you landed in a foreign environment and were trapped there until Seth came and rescued you. When he came to get you he entered through the corridor that was forced open between worlds and landed in the general vicinity of your dimensional coordinates. He soon located you all and brought you back here while sealing up the rifts that only he left behind. Those being the one he arrived in-"
"Are any of the things you're going to say helpful to us finding it?" Batman interrupted.
"Only that I arrived at a location that was either relatively close to them or a means that would make finding them easier which I believe is similarly intrinsic to this venture," I replied in my own voice.
"Unless she appeared on the Watchtower I don't think it's the first one," Flash stated.
"Agreed. That means that there is something that can help you find the rift here. I don't know how we can look for it without additional information."
How did they convince me not to look on my own again?
"Other than it looks like an arc of lightning I don't know of anything either."
"That can help narrow it down. Still, we would need something else."
"This is why I have Eris help me. Finding the rifts would be like looking for a needle in a haystack the size of Earth without her."
"But she only gives a general direction," Rainbow Dash added. "I remember Twilight saying that."
"Most of the time yeah. I once used-"
I cut myself off for a second as I realized what I could try.
"I once used the scanners in a Specter Speeder to get a more detailed map to find it. I bet I could do that with the scanners that are used on the Watchtower."
I pulled Eris out of my pocket and looked to Batman for confirmation.
"I don't think the two are compatible."
"The two of us contain magic that makes the laws of physics break themselves and like it. This should work just fine. Besides, what part of Eris looks like technology in the first place?"
"He's got ya there Bats," Flash humorously stated.
"Alright," Batman said with a sigh. "Do it."
A quick nod and I flipped Eris into the air.
"Do your thing Eris."
A quick shine of light came from her as she reached the apex of the flip and stayed there while keeping up her rotation. After about twenty seconds of this a globe of the Earth was projected around her in a blue hue. It was definitely attention grabbing as all eyes went to it. Not too long after that a yellow dot appeared on the west coast of the U.S.A.
"That's right in Jump City," J'onn said helpfully.
"Kind of a funny name for a city," Rainbow Dash commented.
"This coming from the mare who lives in a town called Ponyville who hails from Cloudsdale; both of which are in the land of Equestria," I countered.
I saw Flash snicker at that and heard a few others do the same.
"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up."
A jovial remark died in my throat as the blue hue of the globe turned red for a second before the image disappeared completely. Eris then dropped out of the air and I caught her before she hit the ground. It should go without saying, but yes I was concerned.
"What happened?" Batman asked.
"We just had a security alarm trip at STAR Labs at the location we just saw," some random non-hero worker replied. I'll just call him a techie. "It seems to be some sort of emergency signal."
I tuned everyone out for a moment as I connected some very familiar dots.
I found the rift in Jump City.
An alarm was going off at the STAR Labs in Jump City.
The Teen Titans were based in Jump City.
A dimensional event happened at the STAR Labs in Jump City that led to the 'Reflections Lost' storyline.
That crossover was started by a twenty-six dimensional hypergriffin, the only name that I think they could give it, accidentally melding with Raven's powers, a broken dimensional containment device, and possibly worst of all it might have worked off of Ryouga's luck sending them into an alternate reality.
That griffin had escaped containment somehow, but it hadn't been explained in the story. Those dots lined up in a row of guilt. Why you ask? It's because I was fairly certain that I had become the catalyst to letting that thing free. That means I was responsible for so many fucked up things that were about to occur in this timeline.
"It looks like the Titans are en route," I heard that techie say which brought me back to my senses.
"Jump City is delegated so that any type of emergency or investigation is handled by the Teen Titans and we are to inform them if we are to intrude on their area of operation."
"S.O.P. for diplomatic relations," I stated. "Right now is time for damage control. What did Rainbow Dash say about me if anything?"
"You're reclusive and prone to making almost bi-polar decisions. Paraphrasing of course," Flash clarified. "You still try to do the right thing."
"In this instance, doing the right thing means staying here until the emergency is over."
Oh you Bat bastard you. He knows I want to go down and take a look at what's happening. He's preempting the whole thing by saying I can't and even stating why I couldn't before I would even ask. I work with chaos. I shouldn't be this predictable!
"I need to get there now. I need to make sure that this isn't because of something I did."
"You should have thought more about that when you used your coin to find the rift."
"You didn't have any better ideas."
"I was going to interrogate the people who were holding her captive beforehand to see if they knew where she was discovered. I wasn't expecting your attempt to be successful."
"Well... egh, I hate inaction. Especially when I feel responsible like this, though I get the vague sensation that I'm contradicting myself," I said while muttering that last part quietly.
"Yeah well why can't we go down there?" Dash asked. "We aren't a part of your group so we don't have to worry about being diplomatic."
"I'd rather not have the two of you getting involved in this and making matters worse."
I facepalmed at his damn good logic. I also facepalmed for the first time without my glasses getting in the way. Kind of an odd feeling having something so intimately familiar be so different. It only lasted for a few moments as I got back on track.
"Look if something is going down now I need to make sure it doesn't affect the rift. I shouldn't have to remind you that even on its own it has the potential to erase the universe. I'd rather not have something speeding up that process."
That seemed to finally be enough of an argument to get him to think about it.
"You can send along a hero or two to keep an eye on me if you want as well. Believe it or not I know how to be discreet as well."
"Your past actions do not lend credence to that fact," J'onn stated passively despite how it was intended.
"I managed to sneak around just fine the first time I was here. I also went unseen in the last world I went to. I'm very unnoticeable when I want to be."
"J'onn, do you believe you can keep a close eye on them?"
"Of course."
"Very well then. The three of you are not to interfere unless necessary. You are to observe only until the emergency is over with. Do you two understand?"
"Yes sir." "Yeah."
"Move to the transporters and we'll send you down."
"Or... we could remain sort of inconspicuous and I can teleport us down without the bright flash."
"An acceptable alternative I suppose. Do it."
Rude commanding tone from Batman aside, I held out my hand, the one without the coin in it, and a faint blue glow encompassed it. A snap of my fingers later and J'onn, Rainbow Dash, and I were standing a bit of a distance away from the local police presence. The massive police presence, I should say. The police had the place completely surrounded with squad cars to the point that I wasn't certain that there was one actually patrolling the city. Of course a giant glowing dome-covered building would probably prompt that kind of response.
Our arrival was still pretty well unnoticed for about... fifteen seconds I suppose. At least that's how long it took for an officer to come up to our group. She looked like a woman in charge too. Mostly grey hair with a few bits of black stood out as she walked up to us with some purpose in her step.
"More of ya here huh?" she said in a grizzled cop voice that was kind of hilarious considering her gender. "The Titans there told us that they were gonna handle things. If you Leaguers are here does that mean we were wrong tah do so?"
"We are here on a separate matter. There is something we are investigating in STAR Labs that may be connected."
I tuned out the rest of what was said to scan around for the Titans. It didn't take long to spot them. I also saw Jinx walking up to them as they conversed. I was really digging the fact that I could see them so very clearly despite the distance. It was almost like I had a zoom function. I kind of didn't since it was one of the things that I needed to have an electronic brain for apparently, however I was convinced that I could make it work over time.
It was then that I did something a little less than decent. I used the x-ray function on my eyes to take a look at them naked. Yeah I know it wasn't a nice thing to do, but I was way too damn curious. They had grey and orange skin. I had to know how that looked. Did I feel bad about it? Honestly not as much as I thought I would. I mean, yeah I felt bad, but for some reason it just felt like it wasn't that bad. Also, I shouldn't mention it but Raven is smoking hot . I just felt that it needed to be said. Also Cyborg is built like a truck.
"We've been given the same courtesy as the Titans have," J'onn stated; breaking me from the vision I was using.
"That's good. I've spotted the Titans. It looks like they're having a discussion over there. I say we let them handle the mission."
"I believe that is what Batman told you to do."
I rolled my eyes as Rainbow Dash snickered.
"Yeah, well anyway let's keep out of their sight for now. Just seeing us here might interfere with what they're doing."
There were a few minutes that went by before Cyborg reconfigured his hand into its sonic cannon configuration. He then pointed it at the shield and fired. The shield wavered for a moment before opening up in a small circular area just big enough for them to get through. Which is exactly what they did as their group darted through the opening. I immediately grabbed J'onn and Rainbow Dash as Cyborg's stream ended.
"No time!" I yelled as I teleported us inside.
I still cut things pretty close. I had a strange tingling sensation all over as soon as we appeared on the other side of the shield. I wasn't the only one either. I could see the both of them give off a shiver as well out of the corner of my eyes.
"Sorry. We needed to get inside while there was an opening."
"I understand."
A painless knock upside my head told me that Dash wasn't as understanding as J'onn.
"Anyway we're inside and the Titans don't know that yet either."
"I'm feeling some sort of... presence below the surface. I'm not certain what it is but it feels both frightened... and angry."
"Well that sounds terrific!" I yelled sarcastically.
"No kidding," Rainbow Dash echoed in tone. "Why don't we stop sneaking around and go help them out?"
"Because they didn't ask for it. How would you feel if someone took over weather duties for you because they said you weren't doing a good job?"
"That sounds stupid. I'm much too good for somepony else to take over."
"Exactly. It's the same thing here. Stepping in would be like telling them that they can't handle their responsibilities. Don't discount them alright?"
"Alright, but I don't like it."
"That's good too because you shouldn't like it. It's only natural for a good person, or pony in your case, to want to help out when trouble is happening."
I almost started thinking about the Teen Titans theme song but I managed to keep from doing so.
"We still have to find the rift and close it. We'll make sure there's nothing going on to make that go wrong and then we'll finish things up and head back to Equestria."
"But I was going to challenge Flash to a race!"
I couldn't suppress the chuckle from hearing that.
"Hey! I bet I could beat him!"
"I find that very doubtful," J'onn commented.
"Says you! I'm the fastest flyer in all of Equestria! I can beat him for sure!"
"We are not here to discuss the outcome of such a competition. We are here to verify the status of the rift while evading detection from the Titans."
"Yeah right! I bet you're just saying that cause you know I'm going to embarrass your buddy."
"Dash calm down. He's right that we need to get moving. The Titans have already gone inside. Let's hurry up."
She let out a scoff, but didn't keep up the argument as we entered the building. Well I teleported us in since the door wouldn't open. It was a pretty nice setup in what I would say is the reception/check in area. There were a few plants at the entrance while the walls were grey halfway up and white the rest of the way to the ceiling. There was a large desk on the far wall that reminded me of the one at Vlad Masters' building only this one was a bright, solid white with several monitors sitting on it. It was past a short transparent wall that cut the room in half going up a few feet from the floor. In the middle of the wall was a metal detector for some reason. No idea as to why they would put one there. It didn't even go off as we went through it. Hell I didn't even remember that there was such a thing from when I read the story.
The corridors themselves were pretty bland. It was some monotonous white walls with slightly darker colored doors every once in a while. It wasn't bad enough that I got myself stuck going in circles just like Ryouga did with the xenothium heist- Oh wait, that was a different building. Well, it's the principle anyway since the guy could get himself lost anywhere at anytime.
I took a look at Eris at that point. I needed a moment then to slap myself as I held the coin sideways to determine if rift was higher or lower than where I was. You would think that I would have thought of doing that sooner and if you did then pat yourself on the back because you're more savvy than me. It still was a good realization as we found out that the rift was somewhere underground. A quick ride down the elevator, thankfully Titan free, and some trial and error with the right floor and we were in the general vicinity.
Unfortunately for us it was the same floor that the Titans had gotten off at as J'onn had so helpfully informed me. It was making me seriously think about how I was connected to these events. I had, without exception, made contact with the main players of every one of these stories while one of the story events was taking place. In fact other than Lucien in Ungrounded I had ended up interacting directly with the main characters of each of these stories in one way or another. It could just be a hot zone for this kind of thing. I suppose I had no way to figure this out so I let it occupy the trash bin in my brain.
"The presence has grown much louder now," J'onn stated. "It is... odd... scrambled even, but mostly angry now instead of both angry and afraid evenly."
"It could be fighting with the Titans. That would probably explain it."
"I believe that is the most logical assumption. Still, I find this to be a very uncomfortable feeling."
"I hear ya big guy," Dash said while putting a hoof on his shoulder as she hovered between us.
I rolled my eyes as we continued on. Or we would have if I hadn't realized something wrong. I almost missed it. Perhaps it was because I was focused on the rift or maybe it was the company I was keeping. Neither really mattered as much as I realized an important fact. We were standing outside of the elevator in a branching T pattern of halls. That isn't where the Titans were let off in the story. In the story the elevator was in the conjoining room to the one where the hypergriffin was trying to escape from. The Titans were meeting in a room that was connected to the elevator and was easily in view. Two and two were not equaling four right now.
"Something is wrong here."
"What do ya mean 'wrong'?"
"I don't know if I can explain it." Not with J'onn standing right there anyway. "It's like... things aren't where they're supposed to be. Like we still got off on the wrong floor."
"I do not know if there is anything... 'off' like you are describing. All I sense is the presence."
"Well what about the others?" Dash asked.
"Hey yeah. What about the Titans or the scientists that should be here? Do you feel them?"
I saw his eyes glow for a bit as I believe he was checking things out. It was kind of interesting because I only noticed right then that his eyes were solid red. It wasn't a red on red like I thought, but instead it was smoothed out like the whole thing was just one big sclera and no iris or pupil. I knew his eyes weren't superficial so I genuinely wondered how that worked. It wasn't really pertinent to our situation as his eyes stopped glowing.
"I cannot detect the presence of any minds other than the two of you. Though that may simply be due to your proximity and the rest are simply being overwhelmed."
"That sounds too convenient to be honest. I had that odd feeling and suddenly it's just us? I don't like the sound of that."
"Are you certain you are not just being paranoid?"
"He's actually pretty good at noticing when things go wrong. At least that's what Twilight says. I'm not so sure but Twilight is pretty smart. Maybe we should worry about it?" she finished with only a marginal amount of confidence.
"I do not believe there is enough of a basis for this theory. However, we shall remain cautious for anything else out of the ordinary."
I glowered a little before nodding and leading the way once more. We kept following the hallways a little bit before Rainbow Dash flew up close to my side to talk quietly. When I say close, I mean close enough that I felt her wing grazing the back of my head.
"Did you really feel that or were you just saying it?"
"You know how I said I know these as stories right?"
"Duh. Of course I do."
"Yes," I said; rolling my eyes, "of course. When that elevator door opened we should have been in a room overlooking where the Titans were. They're fighting something that looks sort of like a griffin. Instead we came out into a hallway. I can't exactly explain how I know this to him. I got lucky with you in that no one freaked out but I can't say the same thing will happen with everyone else I try to tell it to. I've seen scenarios where people go nuts because they don't think anything they do matters. It's a worst case scenario."
"I don't think we have to worry about this guy going nuts."
"It's always the quiet ones."
"What?" she asked with that admittedly adorable ear flop thing.
"It's a saying. Do you remember the time when Twilight made everyone go after that doll of hers when she couldn't come up with a friendship lesson?"
"Kind of?"
"Right. Anyways, the point is that if anyone, you wouldn't have thought that she was going to do that. Same principle applies here. Still, that isn't the real problem."
"It's the thing that's different right?"
"Exactly. We can look for the rift right now, but keep a lookout for anything unusual."
"How would I know what is unusual? Pretty much everything around here is unusual."
"Ugh, good point. Let's just keep an eye on things or whatever. That's all I can really say."
"I'll... see what I can do."
Again we moved along in an uncomfortable silence. I let Eris lead us through the twists and turns of STAR Labs for several more minutes. Eventually both Rainbow Dash and myself got fed up at the same time.
"Are we really headed in the right direction? This is taking forever!"
"That's kind of what I was thinking. Unless this underground area is extremely large then we should have been there by now."
"I can still only detect the presence. Nothing else."
"That nagging felling has only gotten worse."
"I'm starting to think something isn't right too," Dash chimed in.
"We have only been searching this level for ten minutes."
"Assuming that we've been going pretty much in one general direction that should've been the length of the building. I don't like this at all."
"I feel as though there is something that you are not telling me about this. Is there?"
Damn this was frustrating. If I tell him what's happening then I could break the setting. If I don't, however, we could be walking along for who knows how long looking for something that exists in a place that shouldn't. It was becoming infuriating.
"Hey buddy," Dash said while flying into J'onn's face, "if he says that something's wrong then there's something wrong! Maybe you're the one who's got a problem!"
"I do not believe that to be the case here."
"Yeah? Well out of the three of us you're the only one who thinks that nothing's wrong right now and I find that pretty peculiar if you ask me. Maybe you're hiding something?"
I had to force down the urge to snicker at that.
"I fail to understand the hostile intent that you are presenting me."
"That's 'cause you're not trying to understand us. You're way too quick to just not care about what we're going through and that is not cool."
"Yeah, we may not be a part of the Justice League but our opinions still matter," I said adding my two cents.
"I... believe I understand your concerns," he replied almost tentatively. "I will see if the entity is somehow behind the situation."
"That's all I can really ask for I suppose," said hoping that maybe he could find a reason for what was happening.
In turn J'onn's eyes lit up again. It didn't take long for something to happen. Said happening was that J'onn let out a pained yell and clinched his head. I jumped pretty badly in surprise as did Rainbow Dash. Still we were greatly concerned about him as bent over and started thrashing his head from side to side while grunting in pain.
"J'onn what's wrong!?"
He looked at me for a moment before thrashing about again. It was long enough for me to see his eyes again. This time there was something different about them. Interposed on them was a black slit like a cat and to make matters more interesting he now had four eyes instead of two. Honestly only knowing about the setting let me figure out what was happening.
He had reached out just as the shit hit the fan. In better words J'onn had made contact with what I believe was the hypergriffin just as it hit Raven's telekinetic shield. He was feeling the pain empathically just as the other two had.
Just as he roared in pain once again even louder than before, something happened around us I can only describe as chaotic. Everything around the three of us spiraled into a multitude of colors taken from the area we were looking around. I'm not sure if I grabbed Dash or if she grabbed me but I do know that we started hugging each other as we were freaking out. The colors soon faded away like sand and we found ourselves in a new room. We had no time to take a look around as we started flying towards a giant spiraling vortex. I was briefly terrified that it was a black hole, but I still had enough thought to grab something as Dash grabbed a hold of J'onn.
After that moment, I couldn't see much of anything. I was keeping my eyes locked onto the grated metal floor that I had a hold of. I could feel Dash clinging to me for dear life as I presumed she still had a hold of J'onn to keep him from flying into the death spiral as I had quickly dubbed it. I had no idea how long that lasted as I kept holding on knowing that if I lost my grip then all three of us could be sucked in. All I even heard was some muffled voices that were lost in the roar of noise.
Eventually the pull started to subside. As it did I loosened my grip and felt greatly relieved that we were still okay. I could also feel some weight on my legs that let me know that J'onn hadn't been pulled in and Dash had successfully held on to him. As soon as I no longer felt the pull coming from the vortex I let go of the grate and breathed heavily. Rainbow Dash was in a similar situation as she still had her hind legs wrapped around me as an anchor along with her wings. After a short time getting some air back into my lungs, Dash was the first to speak.
"I know this may not be the time or place, but should I make a sex joke about this?" she asked weakly.
I was about answer when someone else made themselves known.
"STARFIIIIRE !"
Oh shit. That was right. Robin was still there. I immediately cloaked the three of us into invisibility as I heard him anguish over the loss of his soon to be girlfriend and teammate. I'd love to tell him that they were alright, but I wasn't sure that I could let him know- hello !
Back behind some damaged pipes on the wall was the rift. That raised all sorts of questions about what was going on in this place but I didn't care for any of it right then. I pulled Eris out of my pocket and handed it to Rainbow Dash. She gave me a confused look up until I pointed out the rift to her. She sped out from under me to the rift and pressed Eris onto it almost instantaneously. It was so quick that the rift sealed up and she sped back over to my position before she was rendered visible again.
Since we were still undiscovered, I teleported the three of us back to the lobby area and dropped my invisibility. I quickly realized that J'onn hadn't gotten off of me so he was most likely unconscious. I wiggled my way free of him and stood up quickly.
"Is he going to be okay?"
"Yeah. Raven was fine and this is pretty much the same thing that happened with her."
"Should we get him to his friends then? He was kind of a dull guy, but I don't think he deserved this one bit."
"I don't think we can teleport through the energy shield outside."
"It's not on anymore."
I looked outside and sure enough the energy shield that was erected out there had disappeared.
"Alrighty then. Can you hand me Eris? I need to check something."
"Sure."
After handing back Eris I took a look at her face. It showed that it was counting down again from two hundred and forty four seconds. A good chunk of time until we left. Knowing that, I placed Eris back into my pocket and snapped my fingers. The three of were then back onto the command deck of the Watchtower.
"Hey! Can I get some help here!?"
As I saw several people rush to where I was, I noticed Batman was there giving me the Glare. I gestured to Dash to come with me and get out of the way of the people who were checking on J'onn. We made our way to him and before he could start grilling us I put up a hand to stop him.
"I don't have much time before the two of us head back to where we came from. About three minutes I think. I'll try to make it short for you. We got down there and there was an energy shield that prevented us from getting in. The Titans were already there so we stayed hidden out of their way since I remember some jurisdiction issues. They opened a small hole and as they went through I teleported us inside out of their sight, but not inside the building. We waited a few minutes and then went inside ourselves to look for the rift without getting in their way. As we searched we found out that something else was in there and it may have been affecting us somehow in a non-aggressive manner. We continued on for some time and after a while J'onn reached out telepathically and things went south pretty quickly. The place we were in shifted and J'onn lost consciousness while Dash and I tried not to get sucked up by this black hole thing. After a bit it went away and only the three of us plus Robin were in there. I spotted the rift and had Rainbow Dash close it before coming back and teleporting all of us back to the Watchtower. And now we've reached the present."
I pulled Eris out of my pocket again just as I was finishing and looked at her. We still had a hundred and seven seconds left. I showed this to Batman.
"Did you interfere with the Titans in any way?"
"No sir. I made sure to keep out of their notice the whole time. I sealed the rift and everything is... well on a global scale everything is fine. I think something happened down there with the Titans. I don't know what but from how Robin was shouting it couldn't be anything good."
"If it becomes a danger then we'll do something about it. Otherwise we will let them handle it amongst themselves per our arrangement."
"But he sounded so sad. Shouldn't you help him?"
"They have said that they would not accept our help if they want to be taken seriously. As such we can't interfere."
"I know it's hard Dash, but everything will be okay. You've gotta have some faith that things will work out."
She looked at me for a moment. Then she gave me a look that said she knew something. She then gave me a small smile and nodded. I in turn ruffled her mane up a bit.
"I'm fairly certain that you know more than you're letting on. It's getting more obvious as I observe your behaviors."
"Sorry Batman, spoilers."
He narrowed his eyes at me, then shut them completely before opening them again.
"I see. If you show up ever again I will be getting all the answers I'm after. Understood?"
"I have faith that as smart as you are you'll probably figure it out anyway. Say hi to Weapon Master for me!" I exclaimed happily as the light from Eris slowly enveloped my vision.
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
After returning for the fifth time I was expecting the group hug to come. Except that it didn't. By the time I could see again I found the reason why. The Doctor had returned and was conversing with everyone. I was a bit surprised that no one noticed us return, but they did after I fake coughed to get their attention.
"You're back!" Twilight exclaimed before ending her discussion and teleporting over to Rainbow Dash.
The others soon followed suit and left the Doctor alone to go reunite with their friend. I simply walked past them. The Doctor was back and I had no idea why he left in the first place. I kind of wanted to know why.
"Hey there Doc. Where've you been?"
"In case you thought differently you should know that the universe does have other problems that need my attention to deal with."
"Yeah, don't worry. I can understand that. Feels kind of... ehhh... but I get it. What was it by the way?"
"It's better if you don't know. I mean that. If you knew then there's no telling the damage that could be done."
"And that is all I need to know to not ask about it again," I said pointing at him.
"Right! Well, I was filled in a little about what's happening so far. It seems you only have one rift left to seal. Good, good job. Jolly good."
"Yep. I kind of wish I could stick around in this last one for a while. There's a whole lot of people there I would just love to just... be around."
"Well if there isn't any immediate danger," Twilight stated into our conversation leading the group of ponies back to the two of us, "we could see how they're doing before we leave."
"Visiting some people I barely know- er, I mean in a face to face manner, would be rather... What's the word I'm looking for?"
"Intrusive."
"Thanks Rarity. Intrusive is what I mean. I'm pretty sure when none of you had any memories of me that you weren't exactly happy to have me around. Except maybe Pinkie Pie. She's always happy to meet new people."
"Or anyone else for that matter!" she cried happily.
"Exactly. You were around him for a bit so he probably won't mind you, but it's quite different for me."
"From the short time I was there I got the distinct impression that he would be very welcoming to pretty much anypony. Especially if you can create a bunch of food out of thin air."
Holy shit. She was right. If I cut down on their food bill then there was a chance that Chi Chi might have me move in out of gratitude.
"This trip is suddenly looking up. Still when we left there was a whole mess of things going on. The situation might be pretty bad over there."
"That's why I said we would if there wasn't any immediate danger. Don't worry Seth. I'm going to make sure nothing goes wrong."
Ah fuck. I need to distance myself from this bad juju pronto. I just didn't know how. I think I might be doomed.
"Well, we won't know until we head out. Let's finish this up Twilight."
"Yes. Let's do it!"
"You can do it Twilight!"
"We're all behind ya!"
"Thank you everyone. We'll be back soon."
"And then I can throw a party!"
"And I'll have a song ready for that when we get back."
"Really? What is it?"
"You'll find out when I get back."
"Well hurry up! I wanna hear the song!"
While saying that Pinkie pushed the two of us towards the rift. It showed off just how strong she was that our feet stayed planted the whole time. It was probably a result of gag humor but either way it worked out it was still impressive. It also got us to our destination in a fun way.
"Ready Twilight?"
"Ready!"
I held out my hand to which she placed her hoof in it. I then reached out with my other hand and touched the rift. Like always a bright light filled my vision before fading away after a short time. When it cleared I looked at the place we were in with a bit of hope. However we were greeted with almost a carbon copy of the place we just left from. Other than a few spires it was a flat, slightly rocky place with a few patches of grass here and there. I let out a huff of air and pulled Eris out to get my bearings.
"Which way?"
"That way," I responded while pointing the way Eris indicated.
"Well then, let's get moving."
"Yeah, if we have to walk then it is going to take forever."
"Well what do you suggest then?"
"I thought you'd never ask," I grinned as I snapped my fingers.
Appearing in front of me was a Ford Mustang convertible. The car was metallic blue with a white horseshoe on the hood just like I had always wanted. It had the top down too because I was no longer in any danger of burning to a crisp in twenty minutes thanks to the reinforcement spell I had applied. I did instinctively change out the shocks because of the terrain. After all, I had no idea how long I was going to be driving or if what we would be driving on would change.
"This looks slightly different that the one you and Rainbow Dash rode in."
"That's because there are tens of thousands of variations of these. This one in particular is a Ford Mustang. I could get into the differences, but we need to get started on our way to the rift. Hop into the pass- I mean the seat in the front on the right."
Twilight did as instructed and jumped into the passenger's seat. I got into the driver's seat the old fashioned way and started it up. Thankfully she wasn't startled by the engine turning over this time. I switched into drive and we were on our merry way. Well... after I buckled up and turned on the radio of course. That was actually kind of amusing to me. Watching Twilight firstly because she attempted to do so without using magic at first. When it tightened and she flipped over onto her face she then operated it with her magic. The other thing was when I turned on the radio. I honestly forgot that it wasn't tuned into the usual rock station I listened to so when it came on we were buffeted with a very loud opera man's voice. We both jumped at that as I quickly turned the volume down. After a shared giggle I tried finding a station to listen to. That failed so I just made a playlist and put it into the speaker system.
"No sleep till!"
The next twenty minutes were pretty uneventful. I kept the music low enough that we could talk which Twilight spent asking about the place we were in. I told her that this place was called 'A Story Can't Write Itself' by The Coltist. It was a crossover story that had only gone three chapters but I knew that this was it since it had a passing mention of Twilight in a chapter while still having most of the characters that had shown up when I was there. Here for certain I knew of five sources: Dragonball Z, Bleach, Yu Yu Hakusho, One Piece, and Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha. If I added in Twilight Sparkle due to my interference then that made it a My Little Pony crossover as well giving it six source materials to work with. It showed that as well. The pacing was bad and the character juggling was spotty. It had some good humor but was not very good when describing fighting scenes.
I was getting into the different series that made up this fanfiction when I noted that a decently sized ship had started to fly alongside us. Yes, you heard me right. A ship about the size of a few one story houses was gliding along the ground parallel to our movement. That was a conversation stopper. Twilight had just gotten a look at it as well when it pulled ahead of us and caused me to slow down and stop the car. The ship looped back around and landed about twenty feet ahead of us. I decided to exit the vehicle while letting the engine idle in case we needed to leave. I wasn't sure how that would work, but I think I just didn't want to poof it away yet.
After the two of us had exited the vehicle a ramp came down on the ship. A brunette walked down and looked at the two of us. I only needed a moment to place her. It was Nanoha Takamachi from Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha; specifically the Strikers version of her. She looked at Twilight for a moment and then looked at me and smiled a very wide smile.
"Commander Seth!"
I didn't even have time to process what she had said before she, I kid you not, ran over and glomped me. I had never, ever been glomped before. She smelled really nice. It all happened so fast that I couldn't process the events quickly enough to respond to her.
"Where did you go this time? Did you bring along your friend to help out or did you just bring her along to meet us?
"...Bwha?"
"Are you always this articulate?" Twilight bemused.
"Oh my gosh she can talk!" Nanoha squealed and let go of me to look at Twilight. "You're so adorable! My name is Nanoha. What's yours?"
"Greetings! My name is Twilight Sparkle. It's a pleasure to me you."
Nanoha's bright and cheery mood slowly drained away and in it's place was a more shocked expression. Her gaze then turned to me.
"Twilight Sparkle? You brought the Twilight Sparkle, princess of Equestria, to our world?"
"Umm... yeah? I kind of needed to."
"But you said- ...wait a second."
She quickly gave me an appraising look before widening her eyes.
"I can't believe I missed it. I really can't believe I missed it. We need to get on board. I think it's almost time."
"Time for what?" I asked. "And what did you miss?"
"That I can give an explanation for when we board the ship. I'm not sure how much time we have. Both of you come with me. Please."
I gave Twilight a questioning look.
"I don't see a problem. Besides, they may be able to help us get to the rift faster."
"Good point," I said and turned back to Nanoha. "Lead on."
She gave us a smile as she led us onto the ship. The two of us, after I poofed the Mustang, went up the ramp and into what looked like a troop transport. It actually reminded me of the ship from the Star Trek reboot that Kirk and company took to Starfleet Academy only a bit roomier. Another difference was that there weren't any seats on the wall that had a door which led to the cockpit. Instead there were two large screens. After the ramp went up, a wall slid down and two similar displays showed up on that as well. We all walked up to the door before Nanoha knocked on it.
"Ayane, we have a situation."
"What is it now?" a woman's voice answered in a deeper tone. "And you better not be getting busy back there!"
"It's the omega thirteen scenario."
"...Fuck really? I was going to go see my boyfriend this weekend."
"I don't like it either, but you know to load the file right?"
"I need clearance from another general first. You know that."
"Then get it. Fast."
"Well, now that I believe you're done I think Twilight and I would like to know what's going on."
"Of course. Since things are what they are right now I'm not sure how much you would know. Do you know who I am specifically?"
"Yeah. You're..." I trailed off for a moment to get things just right, "...Nanoha Takamachi, an operator for the Time Space Administration Bureau. You carry a device called Raging Heart that lets you use magic. And no Twilight, I'll tell you about it later."
I looked to the side to see Twilight's hoof go down with a blush.
"I see. And how much do you know about the situation going on on this planet right now?"
"Right now nothing. The last time I was here was at the beginning of the Cell Games when everyone started popping up all over the place. I think the last thing I even saw was you and Fate touching down before I left."
"Oh. That... is really not good. You aren't up to speed on anything at all going on right now."
"Did everything go smoothly then?"
"I suppose so. Gohan defeated Cell and no one died."
"Nobody died? Did they get... the cyborgs out of Cell?"
"They did indeed. After Gohan punched Cell so hard that 18 was expelled there was a cry for him to do it again and get 17 out. Not in so many words, but he did it just as Cell was about to try something. What happened after that was Cell tried to destroy the Earth but was teleported away by Goku. We weren't sure what happened but he then reappeared with three other individuals saying that Cell blew up."
"But I bet he came back," I said knowingly.
"Indeed. He came back more powerful than ever, but most of us were still weakened after he assaulted us with those miniature copies of himself. In the end Gohan managed to barely overpower him with some assistance. After that, all of us got together and had a conversation about our arrival."
"How long ago was that?" Twilight asked.
"About two years now. Wow that really doesn't feel like it was that long ago."
"Sounds interesting."
"Oh it was much more interesting than you can imagine. Everything began in earnest about two weeks after the battle-"
"General Takamachi," the pilot, Ayane, interrupted, "we've gotten permission from General Vegeta to unlock the omega thirteen file."
"General Vegeta?" I asked incredulously.
"We ask ourselves the same thing every. Day. Go ahead Ayane."
The screens lit up on every monitor in the ship. On them was a symbol for Capsule Corporation with omega thirteen spelled out underneath it. That was shown for ten seconds until a person showed up. I was pretty damn surprised at who it was.
Especially because it was me.
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
Appearing on the monitor was me in some sort of office setting. I don't think it was Capsule Corp, but I could easily be wrong. It didn't really matter to me. The man sitting behind a dark wooden desk in a pretty lavish leather chair did. It was me. Except it wasn't quite the same. It was still the same face, but with a shorter, trimmed up beard. Also, I had never, ever had muscle definition like that. I had a lean, muscular build that was clearly visible in my usual style sleeveless shirt. I could also tell that I no longer had a big gut, but instead I had gotten into incredible shape. It was shocking to say the least.
"Hey there handsome," I, the one on the screen, said. "I bet this is quite the weird sight to see. Am I right?"
"I'll say," Twilight commented.
"Alright, first things first. If you're watching this it means that there is a general there of mine with you. I don't mind if they watch but they need to make sure that the you with Twilight doesn't head back to the HQ. General, that's an order."
"Yes sir!" Nanoha saluted the screen for some reason. "Ayane! Bring us to a dead hover!"
"Uh, okay ma'am."
A few seconds went by before the- I'm just going to call him future me continued.
"Okay, this is the big one here. I made this recording and classified it as the omega thirteen scenario so that every single man and woman in my army would know that shit is about to go down. The reason being, and don't freak out everyone, is that Aizen is about to bring an all out assault."
Nanoha gasped as I probably went a little pale. Sosuke Aizen was a real sadistic bastard who wanted to become the Spirit King, or in other terms he essentially wanted to become God. To do it, he had to kill thousands upon thousands of innocent people. His plan for this took over a hundred years and nearly succeeded. In the end the protagonist, Ichigo Kurosaki, managed to weaken him in battle enough for him to be captured and was subsequently imprisoned to be held for twenty thousand years.
That's right. A twenty thousand year prison sentence. Hell it was only because the guy was more or less immortal that they decided on that. That was only after he had merged with an overly powerful object called the Hogyoku though. I had no idea what things were like here. I was going to find out.
"Things are going to be going very differently than before. I haven't told anyone about what I'm going to say to you. I can only hope it's one of my cute generals there with you now to hear this."
Nanoha let out a giggle that I had no time to ponder about.
"Let me start with this. Everything that's going on is due to time travel shenanigans. Since you and Twilight are both familiar with this I'll skip to the important parts. This is not a closed time loop. MLP may work like that, but this world is set up using Dragonball style time physics. What that means is by changing the past a new timeline is created instead of events being predetermined. This is more for Twilight's benefit since all I have to tell myself is that it's like the Trunks saga.
"In this case, I was the one who went back in time. The original timeline was quite different than this one. When I had shown up with Twilight Aizen had been fighting for about two years with all the assembled forces from that day including some from the Soul Society. Only they were capable of getting back and forth from their world. Nanoha and Fate were locked dimensionally with their ship, but it wasn't capable of getting inside the planet's atmosphere. It's why they came down in person last time they were here.
"Aizen is a damn good tactician, but only when he is aware of the opponents he is facing. With all of the new factors he simply ended up using Kyōka Suigetsu to hypnotize most of the new enemies that stood against him. In doing so, he nearly won. Many of his enemies were killed and he nearly pulled off what he had done before.
"It wasn't exactly the same thing though. His plan this time revolved around a different issue; the rift. The fucking bastard did what Nightmare Moon attempted to do. He used the rift to pull energy into himself and that is the key to this world. Aizen drew them in unnoticed in his initial attempts. To this day, however, I still don't know how he himself came to this world to even do so. Nevertheless he didn't see a wrench in his plans coming from an unknown source."
"Myself."
"Twilight and I came to seal the rift to keep the universes from being destroyed like we were supposed to. We had no idea that Aizen was there making use of the rift for his own gain. Still the fact that he had taken in energy from the rift itself was a boon to us. After a long, terrible, costly battle with the remaining heroes we managed to seal the rift and since Aizen was partially comprised of the energy he was sealed away at the same time.
"What was most costly of all was the aftermath of the battle. Aizen had pulled a Super Android 17 a la GT and let out the denizens of Hell and supported them with a horde of hollows to try and stop us. The fight to get them all lasted quite a long time and cost us many brave warriors like I had said. It also cost us something very important. Twilight Sparkle died seconds after the rift was sealed."
Twilight understandably let out a gasp of horror.
"I'm sorry Twilight. I was too weak to save you. I was too weak to be of almost any help. I let you down and in doing so I let down your friends, family, and everyone else. We tried to revive you with the dragonballs, but Shenron couldn't grant the wish. Your soul had apparently moved back to your own dimension and in doing so left me stranded here. Shenron couldn't bring your soul to this dimension as it was beyond his power. I checked to see if Porunga was capable of doing so but it was the same. We may have saved the universe, but it came at a high cost."
Holy crap. Both myself and future me got teary eyed. The difference was that future me steeled himself and continued on.
"That cost was too high for me. So I came up with a plan. I asked for training from Goku to get stronger. I had to be if I wanted to never have that sort of thing happen again. He agreed and it took me years to get in proper shape. It was just the kind of hell you'd think it would be considering what I was like before. After I trained to where I felt was good enough, I managed to get the time machine that Cell had come in from Capsule Corp and I used my magic to return it to pristine condition. I didn't tell anyone about it, but I did say my goodbyes to Goku, Bulma, Chi Chi, and Fate. After some trial and error I used it to travel back in time to undo my mistake.
"I got the coordinates slightly off, which was honestly way better than I thought I would do, and made it there about a week after the battle in which Aizen had fought off everyone thanks to Kyōka Suigetsu. That was, in total, about three weeks after the end of the Cell Games just so you're aware. I was, all things considered, very lucky. Aizen had simply used his zanpakuto's shikai to gain a strategic foothold and hadn't killed anyone yet. He merely tested the waters in battle and found that he wasn't strong enough to handle any of the saiyans yet. He had retreated back to Hueco Mundo and was going over the data he had gained.
"I knew thanks to the time I had spent with Goku that he would begin using guerilla tactics to start whittling away at the people who would stand against him. It would be after that second attack that the Gotei Thirteen would step in, but it would be too late to stop the first casualties despite the fact that Yusuke, Zoro, Sanji, Fate, and Nanoha were all capable of being wished back to life."
I glanced sidelong to Nanoha who had covered her mouth with her hand.
"When they were wished back, it was then they realized that it was a trap by Aizen. The wish was granted but since the dragonballs became inert for a time, he launched an attack that took out even more of their group which by then was reinforced by troops sent by Genryūsai. I could get into what happened after that, but that could take forever.
"Instead of that tragedy occurring, I intervened. I may have gained a great deal of power in those two years which was augmented even further through infusions of magic thanks to Eris that was pretty much blatant cheating, but at my best I was probably a little weaker than Vegeta at the start of the fight against Frieza on Namek. I was still good enough of a fighter then for them to give me a chance to help them.
"Still that wasn't good enough for me to make sure things didn't go absolutely bad. Therefore, I played two aces I had to get into a better position. The first was my meta knowledge. Events in this timeline as well as their own. It gave me the foothold I needed for them to trust me. The second... was not something the you right now would be happy to hear about. I used the hypnosis ability that I used on Rarity on them."
"I what?" I asked equal parts angry and confused.
"Don't freak out just yet! I'm pretty sure that's what might happen in my old shoes. Let me explain first. You see, Aizen's Kyōka Suigetsu has the power of complete hypnosis. If you remember when I accidentally hypnotized Rarity I was capable of feeling the changes I made in her mind. Since Aizen had done the same thing I could feel the energy, or reiatsu if you prefer, he used to change them as well. By no means was I capable of drawing out his energy. Instead, I had to make a work around. By mixing in my own magic with his reiatsu I was able to overwrite it. I still couldn't extract it, but it was no longer his ability in control. It was mine.
"Yes, in case you did or were about to ask, I made sure to both ask for permission and state the side effects to anyone who wanted to get rid of it. I didn't actually know about the complete side effects until I applied it to Goku in the first timeline. With women the side effects are pretty much what you know already. Any human or humanoid woman you do this to will gradually become infatuated with you. Fore knowledge of this will at least let them have good self control. However, when used on any human or humanoid man it doesn't work quite the same. In their instances, they simply end up with an vamped up sex drive. In case you're wondering, Goku has eight children now. You heard me right. In those two years he had six more children. It's why I made sure everyone vowed to be on birth control before I administered the treatment because at some point I foresaw this coming to a head as a full blown orgy."
I looked over to Nanoha again. The fact that she was looking at the floor with a beet red face made me believe that either she wanted it to happen or he was right and it had happened. I just shook my head and looked back.
"From that point everything went much better than the original timeline. We handed them a great many defeats thanks to a much more coordinated fighting force. Not only that but they made me leader after we discovered something during that first battle that I really should have noticed sooner. I have an endless supply of magic in battle. Not like a duel when I fought Discord, but between two groups to be specific. It made sense really. There aren't many things more chaotic than a full scale battle. I was still limited by the amount of power I could pull and store with Eris, but that was my only limitation.
"All of that has led me to this moment. I led us to this time when Aizen led his full assault on Earth. Things are different than they were in that timeline such as he hasn't been able to absorb the energy of the rift properly this time. Also, I've managed to keep anyone from dying thanks to my ability to create senzu beans at will and so on.
"Despite things being different, I've found that just like in Doctor Who there are fixed events in time that can't be changed. When Trunks moved around in time I was aware of it, but didn't connect the dots. Frieza's arrival on Earth was the same. The cyborgs attacking was also the same despite the fact that it was different cyborgs who did it. The Cell Games and Aizen's initial attack gave me the pattern I needed to determine that this was going to happen again. I was going to make sure wholeheartedly that I stopped Aizen this time.
"Except that I can't. Eris and I can both feel it. If we are there when you show up the conditions will be acceptable that it will send us back to Equestria with your Twilight and you'll be stuck here without Twilight with the rift still open. We both know that only Twilight can use Eris to seal the rift which means that we will have no way to do so and things will only get worse from there. As such I created the omega thirteen scenario and have left in the time machine to a point where I estimate is a week after the battle.
"I wish this wasn't the case. Everything I did was not only to make this time around better, but to make sure you, Twilight, stayed safe to correct my greatest failure. To that end, I have made things much better for that scenario to happen. To quote Linkin Park, 'I've tried so hard and got so far, but in the end it doesn't even matter'. In the end I have to leave it to my past self to finish what I've started. Things won't be the same. Aizen will come after you first and you'll need to be ready. There's only one thing I can do for you in this situation."
I watched as future me held his hand out in front of himself. An orb a little smaller than a basketball formed in his hand which quickly turned solid and translucent. He then placed it on top of a small candle holder which was the only decoration on the desk. It made me a little confused that I hadn't seen it until he placed the orb on it. I suppose it could have been invisible, but it didn't look quite like how I did it.
"When the battle starts I want this orb to be delivered to myself as quickly as possible. Squeeze it in your hand and it should give you all my memories of the time I've spent since coming here with Twilight the first time. General, make sure that happens as I doubt he'll have the time to come here and get it."
Nanoha again saluted the image of me on the screen.
"Do. Not. Fail. Seth. I spent four years of my life regretting my biggest mistake. Both redemption for me, peace for this world, and saving both worlds rides on this. I'd say no pressure, but I would just be making fun of myself so no pressure."
"I am so goddamn funny ain't I?"
"Mhm, you sure are," I heard Nanoha say a little more throatily than I was expecting.
"Well, I've been talking long enough explaining things to you. All the rest of it should be contained in this orb. Good luck and see if one of those babes are still willing to pop your cherry!"
"Oh you son of a bitch !"
"What does that mean?"
"Nothing Twilight! It means nothing! It's a poor joke in bad taste!"
I stood ramrod still as I felt a breath in my ear.
"You know, some of us have wondered who took your first time," she whispered in my ear. "Despite the fact that we all know the side effects and many of us have been okay with it regardless he has been remarkably steadfast in staying celibate. He said he would be willing to break it if we won once and for all and it's been a driving factor for a few of us if you catch my drift."
"I got the impression that you and Fate were sort of together."
"We're willing to share," she said even quieter as she leaned into me.
Oh god this was turning M-rated fast and I don't think I cared one bit. I blanked out as I felt her press herself against me. I was saved from anything else happening right there in front of Twilight that I probably wouldn't have cared about by the pilot yelling back at us.
"General. We've received a report of a large scale hollow incursion at point G-66. It looks like there are Espada on site."
I not only heard the growl from Nanoha, but I could feel it as well.
"Get us there ASAP Ayane. And tell someone at HQ that there's an orb on the Commander's desk there that needs to be brought to us yesterday! Send the fastest person we have to deliver it!"
"Yes ma'am!"
"So Seth," Twilight began, "should I be concerned about this hypnotism of yours?"
"I've already talked with Rarity and Rainbow Dash about it. We've come to an understanding and they've forgiven me for it. I don't... well, didn't plan on using it again. It seems that regret is a big motivator."
"Rainbow Dash? What happened with her?"
"It was at the library when you messed up my game. Now isn't really the time for this. We're heading towards what will become a battlefield right now. Think the changeling invasion of Canterlot. We need to be ready for this. I've never been near anything like this before and oh the crap I think the realization is starting to hit me right now."
"We don't have to do this now," Twilight said placing a hoof on my hip. "We can wait until the battle is over. You don't need to put yourself in harm's way."
"I'd like to," I said a little shakily, "but Eris is the only thing that can seal the rift and with it stop Aizen."
"But only I can use Eris to seal it. You don't have to come with me."
"How horrible of a person would I be if I let you try to do this on your own? I could never forgive myself if I let you go without coming with you."
"See? It's not so scary when you're not alone is it?"
That... didn't even sound like it belonged in the same conversation. Still, I clung to it if for no other reason than it kept me stable. I breathed in deeply and let out a long sigh. Being nervous would do no good anyway. I opened my mouth-
Only to get wrapped in a hug from behind by Nanoha who I had tuned out while I gave Twilight my attention.
"You'll do fine Seth. If you're anything like the commander I know, which you ought to be considering you're literally the same person, then you should do just fine. Even if you stumble or doubt yourself we'll all be there for you like you've been there for us."
She then let go and spun me around to face her... then bopped me softly on the head.
"And if you don't succeed, I'll be mad at you."
"Fair enough."
"Now get yourself together. We'll be there in about thirty minutes."
"You hear that Twilight? Get your game face ready."
"Sure. Just be ready yourself okay?"
A smile came to my face.
"Yeah, I'm screwed no matter what."
"You are if I have anything to say about it!"
"Dammit Nanoha!"
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
I was as ready as I could be for the battle. It had been almost thirty minutes which meant I would be in a fight soon against an army led by Aizen Sosuke for the fate of the uncounted masses. All I had to do was get Twilight to the rift and seal it up and that meant we would win. A simple concept that was complicated in its execution. I had no idea what I would be facing out there. Well, hollows for sure would be there as well as the man himself, and I guess the Espada too. Other than that , I didn't really know. He could have gathered villains from the places that the protagonists who appeared here came from. I would not be happy if he teamed up with Jail Scaglietti or Admiral Akainu. Fuck. That.
"One minute," Ayane called out from the cockpit.
"Open the rear hatch when we get into the airspace," Nanoha replied. "I want to make sure we don't get blown out of the sky before we have a chance to land."
"Yes ma'am."
A few moments went by before the hatch popped with a hiss. It lowered slowly into position after which Nanoha flew out with her device, Raging Heart. Or was it Raising Heart? Damn inconsistent subs. Not really important I suppose. After she left Twilight and I got a good view out of the rear.
A huge battle was laid out before me. Groups of humans were fighting against an onslaught of monsters. It was a massive fight unlike almost anything that I could imagine. Yet, for some reason I wasn't surprised. Despite some of the things I could make out from the over-watching height I was currently at, none of what I was seeing seemed out of the ordinary. It was like I was expecting this to happen. Even the fact that I noticed Twilight off to my side watching the chaos with utter shock didn't phase me a bit.
That was when it hit me.
"Thou misunderstandith the situation. This isn't merely a dream. This is also the future ," she stated as she faded from view.
My precognitive dream, the one Luna had visited and I had forgotten, had come to pass. I briefly wondered if the other me had seen the same sight or not. After all, I was changing the history of this world right now, yet I had this dream before that happened. It was a heavy train of thought.
Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on how you view the topic, I didn't have too long to think about it. A very familiar sensation was tingling about in the back of my head. I couldn't believe I was about to start singing now. It took a moment to identify which one and another to figure out how I wanted to sing it.
"Twilight."
"Yeah?" she asked almost numbly.
"Can I get you to do backup vocals?"
"You're going to sing now?" she asked while whipping her head around to face me.
I responded by showing her my hand. My tattoo was glowing . I wasn't trying to channel any magic. It was simply already maxed out from all the energy Eris was feeding into me. It was no longer the slow trickle she normally channeled through to me. She had literally taken in so much chaos that she pushed it all out into me at once for me to use.
"Trust me. You're not gonna die. "
I guess that was good enough for her as she nodded right before the music started. I was pretty sure the song by Skillet was appropriate for the occasion. It certainly caused a notable shift on the battlefield as the song was magically enhanced to be heard throughout the expansive area. A great many flashy attacks went off about the time the third line of the song came out of my mouth. I did love how Twilight was spot on with the backup vocal like I wanted too, though I may have helped with that.
The craft touched down and I jumped out just as I started the chorus. We were barely on the outskirts of the battle which was fine by me. Hopefully I could make a path or have one made for me to get where I needed to be. Twilight and I walked quickly but cautiously towards the battle with her flanking me on the right. It was probably quite the sight as the two of us were literally singing while we were strolling along. Twilight's horn was lit up while my hands were glowing in anticipation of an attack.
It didn't take long as a large hollow with four arms rushed us from the left. I answered the charge by blasting it away with a beam. It felt good to know that I could defend myself against regular hollows. I doubted that I would be anything but a hindrance on the battlefield if I couldn't beat even that level of an enemy. A smaller hollow with a birdlike face and a short horn was intercepted by Twilight. She handled the hollow just as easily as I had. We were still too soft though as neither of us had killed our opponents.
This thankfully didn't come into play to bite us in the ass as they were dispatched by the smatterings of shinigami that fought on the battlefield. I didn't recognize any of them for a while. They were merely troops sent in to deal with the relentless hoards of hollows that were pouring out of five gargantas that each had to be the size of a football field. Don't get me wrong. I definitely appreciated how they were dealing with the hollows. I just wouldn't know who they are. I guess it still sounds bad even if it isn't meant to be.
The two of us did make good time even after the song had finished. Quite a bit of time was spent at a fast walk. Most of the first part was uneventful as barely any hollows approached us. Some of that was due to how the shinigami seemed to rotate around us as we moved along.
It was after we were over halfway there when things changed. After all, there would have been no fucking way I could just walk up to the rift and seal it without someone or something getting in the way. I just didn't expect what got in my way. Or that the entourage that was following us would suddenly disappear on us.
All three members of Harribel's Fracción, that would be Emilou Apacci, Franceska Mila Rose, and Cyan Sung-Sun if you didn't know of them, touched down in front of the two of us. I was pretty damn concerned if the looks on their faces were any indication. I had power, an incredible amount of power because of the battle, but I did not think for a second that I could take one of them on let alone all three. They had life and death combat experience for who knows how many years and I had the equivalent of eight hours' worth. I needed to not fight them.
"Where have you taken our Harribel-sama?!" yelled Apacci.
I still can't believe what I said next.
"What? You mean out to dinner or something?"
Two of the three of them drawing their swords, which I'm not going to call zanpakuto because fuck that since they're just imitating shinigami, was about what I expected as a reaction to what I said.
"Don't you dare speak like that to us you pervert!" Mila Rose yelled in return. "She went to meet with you two weeks ago and she never returned!"
"I wouldn't know then! That was future me! He's the suave ladies man. I'm just the past version who knows nothing and just admires how awesome I could be."
"You know, he does look quite different from the times we've seen him before," Sung-Sun commented. "He's certainly in much worse shape. A pity as that version looked more appealing."
"I'd be insulted if that wasn't also flattering."
"I said more appealing. It's like saying one patch of dirt looks better than the other."
"Would that mean you all like Harribel for her personality because I've always been curious about the possibility of relationships between humanoid hollows-"
"Enough!" Apacci yelled into my thoughts. "If you don't know where Harribel-sama is then you are of no use to us!"
"Alright look! I don't know what future me did, but she's one hundred percent alive. I would never kill a beautiful woman no matter what the situation! And yes that includes the three of you, and now I'm rambling. Oh god what am I saying? Twilight help me out of this," I said spewing out the last few lines.
"Per~vert," Mila Rose sing-songed with a predatory grin.
"After seeing what his future self did, I'm not sure I can completely deny that."
"You know what? Whatever! I don't care! If she left with me then I know she's safe and that's all I can tell you! Can I please get by so I can seal the rift and stop Aizen from killing everyone and everything!?" I asked in a loud, exasperated tone.
"Not a chance asshole," Apacci replied.
See, I thought that they might let me by because I could shift the blame away from myself onto my future self. I'm not exactly sure why I thought that might work. These three were devoted to Harribel on a dependence kind of level. Talking wouldn't work on them too well in the first place. There was also the fact that Aizen's entire army was exposed to Kyōka Suigetsu which meant they were instinctually hypnotized to follow his orders. That didn't mean they always would, but without a reason in their minds to do so, they would keep fighting for him.
Thankfully, I didn't have to fight them. In that moment just as it looked like they were about to rush me, Goku appeared in front of me using his space time move, instant transmission, or instantaneous movement depending on which language you want to use. It stopped the trio from attacking me before they could take a single step. Yeah, even with his back to them Goku could exert that kind of presence.
"Hey there Seth! You look... different... than usual."
"Time travel shenanigans are happening. I'm a past version."
"Ah! That makes sense. Were you who I was supposed to give this ball to?"
He flipped his hand over and in it was a glowing sphere a little smaller than a basketball. It was the orb that my future self had made.
"We would've brought this here sooner, but somebody ended up attacking Dirk on the way here so they asked me to come and get it."
"Dirk?" I asked.
"He's someone you got to know. He's okay though. Just a broken arm. I left the battle to go collect this for you since he couldn't deliver it. It's important right?"
"My future self says so and he's essentially me so... yes?"
"Alright then!" he said loudly and tossed me the orb.
As I caught it out of the air a fun little event happened. I received a fun slideshow of events in my brain. Well... not really that fun. Why? Because the information was going at super speed and hurt like hell. I'm pretty sure I let out a yell at the beginning as everything that the future me had experienced was now stampeding through my brain. Years worth of information at a pace that the human mind was not meant to view events at.
After a short time I made it to the point where future Seth started the recording and I promptly fell to my knees. I went to clutch my head and the orb literally faded away as I did so. Twilight was at my side already and placed her foreleg on my shoulder as the worst headache I had ever felt was quickly, and thankfully, fading away fast.
"Seth, are you okay?" she asked.
"Kinda," I gritted out.
"What just happened?"
"Yeah, I remember the first time I saw a memory orb in action," Goku commented helpfully. "Although I thought you had gotten rid of the side effects."
A memory came to the forefront that explained why.
"Yeah, future me was evening a debt and that was the payoff. Vegeta is a real asshole sometimes."
"Yeah he sure can be."
I was getting back to my feet when I noticed that the trio of ladies had disappeared during the little ordeal I had. Were they actually scared of Goku? Actually, that makes sense considering how powerful he is. I'm not concerned because I know who he is, but all they know is he's an enemy and he is incredibly powerful if not from what they could sense now then from what he has been capable of before.
"Now that that's over, we can go seal the rift," Twilight commented.
"I'd rather you didn't do that."
The sudden calm voice was jarring to everyone's near yelling voice. The fact that it came from above me made it even more confusing. At least until I realized that a lot of these people could fly or hover. So I looked up to see who it was and immediately was not happy.
It was the big boss man, Sosuke Aizen.
"Aizen," Goku said angrily. "We were wondering where you were for this. You've finally shown yourself," he finished while getting into a fighting stance.
"I was here the whole time. I wished to observe the man who thought that he could stop my ambitions. I must say that when I saw you entering the battlefield that I realized something was amiss. I may never have had the opportunity to talk with you face to face, but even I can see the obvious physical changes in you. You're not really at your best right now are you?"
"He doesn't have to be. I can take you on right now!" Goku yelled adamantly.
"Perhaps, but can you defend both of them at the same time?"
I didn't even see or hear his answer. Instead, I had a flashback of my other self's life. The other me holding Twilight's body with a bloody gash on her side and a puncture wound on her neck as he cried in anguish. With that image in my head, I feel more determined than ever to keep it from happening again. As such I tossed Eris over to Twilight.
"Goku, you and Twilight head to the rift."
"You can't win against him!" he yelled back at me. "Even the other you couldn't win against him and he's much more battle hardened!"
"I don't have to! Get her to the rift! She's the only one who can seal it anyway! Do it and this ends! GO!"
Even I was surprised at how authoritative I sounded right then. It didn't look like they were going to listen though. At least at first it didn't. Goku then let out a sigh of resignation.
"If this is your battle then so be it. Just don't die."
Twilight gave him quite the look that I barely caught out of the corner of my eye.
"You can't possibly be considering-"
She didn't have time to complete her sentence as Goku disappeared with her using his Instant Transmission technique. I had no idea if she would just come back to me or if he could get her to go on without me. It didn't really matter. I had to hold off Aizen either way.
...
...I really hope the Dragonballs work on me.
Author's Note
I found out while I was making this chapter about Skillet releasing a new album. I found it funny considering that I had planned to use the Skillet song in this chapter since last year.
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
This was exactly the place that I didn't want to be. I was stuck holding off Sosuke fucking Aizen so that Twilight could seal up the rift and keep this asshat from completing his no doubt nefarious plan. I would have loved for Goku to be here, but future me and his memories of the event were now ingrained in my brain and wouldn't dream of letting Twilight get hurt because I was the obviously weaker person of the two and Goku could play bodyguard better than myself. It certainly didn't make having to keep Aizen occupied any more of an appealing idea.
Wait a second. Did I really need to fight? Maybe I could just talk with him? I'd certainly prefer that over getting run through with a sword.
"So... you wouldn't be opposed to just having a chat would you?"
"Why of course not. It is the reason I showed myself to you," he replied in a soft tone.
...That was surprisingly agreeable... Which means it's probably a part of his plan. Still, keeping him here is better than him attacking Twilight.
"Well alright then. Would you mind coming down to the ground so we can chat face to face?"
"A reasonable request," the man responded with and floated down to the ground fifteen feet away. I then placed a shield around us to at least delay anything he tried. Not that I told him that. I explained it differently.
"Just putting that up so we aren't interrupted. Alright! So... I'm Seth... of the Chaos... Otherworldly traveler extraordinaire... He who sometimes tends to ramble."
"I see. I find you quite the curiosity if you don't mind me saying."
"Not at all. I can be pretty damn odd," I followed up with oh so eloquently.
"I can somewhat attest to that. It wasn't just you, though. It was this entire world. A world completely separate from not just Hueco Mundo and the Soul Society, but the World of the Living as I knew of it. It called not to me, but to the Hougyoku. As an item that breaks down the barrier between shinigami and hollow it felt the barriers between worlds being broken as well. Quite the feat for something that I didn't think it capable of doing. That was my error in seeing through too small of a scope."
"We've all been guilty of that," I thought out loud.
"Perhaps so. Still, for something to call out to the Hougyoku was also something that I could not ignore. So I waited and listened to see if it would happen again. My patience was rewarded as indeed it did happen again. As soon as it did, I followed it to the source and found quite the interesting sight. A simple stage with a creature I've never seen before. Not only that, but it's power was immense. Yet all it did was stand in the middle of the stage with a single onlooker."
"Me," I said to supply context.
"Exactly. I had no idea at first, but the hougyoku felt the disturbance emanate from both you and another source. However, it felt a stronger connection to you than the other one that had arrived beforehand."
"And that would be Twilight. I feel like this is pretty obvious. You're basically saying Eris is the reason that you came to this world."
"But of course. I would have simply confronted you then and there, but the power I could feel coming from not only the creature, but several other sources made me stay cautious. Instead, I sent a simple Gillian to test the waters. The results were surprising to say the least. The appearance of more onlookers with unusual powers and Captain Kuchiki were intriguing. However the fact that you seemed very knowledgeable for a human was most interesting. While everyone else struggled to understand what was happening around them, you managed to stay on top of every twist that occurred regardless of how absurd it seemed."
"I'd had some experience at it by then," I said offhandedly.
"It could be that. However you displayed a comprehension of things that were more recent, people and concepts that haven't spread beyond certain groups, and even now you try to steer me away from a specific possibility. That possibility being that you are completely aware of our existence in a way that isn't possible for a mere human; powers or not."
"Well, you are technically the enemy so I'm trying not to divulge secrets. I'm sure you can understand that line of thinking right?"
"Of course I can. That is not what is occurring here. What is occurring at this moment is that you are trying to keep secret about the fact that you actually are intimately knowledgeable about things you couldn't know about. I am unaware of how you gained this knowledge, however, yet am intrigued by it at the same time. It is not the only thing that intrigues me about you.
"What truly intrigues me are your unique abilities. As strange as the... quirks that every person here has, all of their abilities follow a baseline from which they use said abilities. The shinigami have reiryoku. The so-called devil fruits users have had their bodies modified on a genetic level from the blood samples I have attained. Even the people who were using magic had done so using an internal form of energy that seemed to function similar to reiryoku. In every instance all of these powers come from an internal source. You are the sole exception. Every observation I've made suggests that the vast majority of your powers come from the coin you always keep on your person. You never leave it alone even going so far as to place it in your mouth as you bathe."
"Wow is that creepy. Thorough, but creepy."
"As much as I can observe, this coin of yours grants you your powers. I find the fact that you would hand it to another after all this time rather surprising considering all of the data I have on you up until now. Of course this data is also being contradicted by the very appearance and presence you are putting forth right now. Your power is significantly less than what it was and your usual air of confidence is now nonexistent. Even your physical appearance is different from usual.
"Still everyone here continues to follow your orders. It may simply be from your own hypnotic abilities that I've seen before that surprisingly nearly rival my own. However from this one-sided conversation I seriously doubt that possibility. The more interesting, and yet somehow logical, possibility is that you are another version of Seth."
"...Damn. I'm not sure how you managed to arrive at that conclusion. Still, denying it would serve no real purpose as you would see through it I bet. What I'm not sure of is why you're bringing this up. Hell I don't really think I understand your motivations all too well. I know you want to take over as Spirit King but I'm not sure of the reasons behind it other than you don't want to be ruled over by anyone. None of that even explains why you stuck around this world at all."
"Why isn't it obvious?"
I was about to say no, but I hesitated. There was really only one topic this entire conversation centered around.
"It's my abilities isn't it?"
"That's correct. More specifically the source of them."
"Eris."
He gave me an even more confident smirk.
"I may not be the smartest person around, but I sure don't see how you could pull that off considering that Eris won't listen to anyone other than me... and you have a plan for that don't you?"
"You are correct. I wouldn't be on the battlefield myself unless it was necessary and you wouldn't hand over your coin to anyone else even with incentive. Incentive such as this."
Aizen gestured over to the side and what I saw was terrible. Twilight and Goku had come back and were standing outside the shield I had erected. The bad news was that they each had a brand on their head. A quick check of my memory and I knew what had happened.
"You had Zommari Rureaux, the Séptima Espada, intercept them and use his little eye technique to hold them hostage so that I would hand over Eris."
"Exactly. Of course I know that a simple hostage exchange would not let me achieve my objective as your coin would resist anything I tried. For this to succeed I would need you to tell it to listen to me."
"And why is this necessary?" I growled out.
At my question, Goku pointed his hand at Twilight and readied a ki blast.
"Would you mind waiting for the answer for a moment and letting your shield down?"
With a gesture I let the shield fall. Appearing next to Aizen with a booming sound was Zommari; the asshole holding my friends hostage. He was a tall, dark-skinned, and muscular looking guy who seemed pretty imposing.
"Aizen-sama. The coin and captives as you have requested," he said while holding Eris towards Aizen in his fingers.
Another gesture and Eris flew from Zommari's hand right into mine almost instantly. As I had guessed there was no reaction from Aizen, though it looked like Zommari wanted to retaliate. He probably didn't only because Aizen didn't even flinch.
"I believe you understand the situation you are in. You will tell the coin to listen to my instructions or I shall kill the hostages."
"I want Twilight released first as a sign of good faith. You'll still have Goku and he's more valuable of a hostage than she is."
"You're not in much of a position to negotiate right now."
"Not much of one, yes, but if I don't believe you're going to let either of them go then what's the point of handing Eris over to you?"
"A... reasonable deduction. Very well. Zommari, release the female."
"At once Aizen-sama."
One of the eyes on his head glowed pink for a moment and the mark on Twilight's head disappeared. She stumbled a bit before regaining her composure. She muttered something before her eyes focused on the ball of energy near her head.
"Twilight!" I yelled grabbing her attention. "Don't move! We have some issues we need to work out. And no magic!" I added hastily.
"What's happening? We made it to the rift and then suddenly I was here."
"You were ambushed. I'm currently in negotiations to get the both of you back."
"I have given you a show of good faith as you requested. It is time to turn over the coin without any trouble."
"But you can't do that! If you don't seal the-"
"I know Twilight," I said cutting her off, "but I don't have any choice. He'll kill you and then it won't matter at all."
"But-"
I snapped my fingers and as a result no sound was coming out of Twilight's mouth. As soon as she noticed she gave me a glare that I was none too proud of getting. I knew I was going to be in trouble for that later. Hopefully I could smooth it over. If there was a later, that is.
"We'll talk later," I stated and looked to Eris. "I need you to follow his instructions alright?"
I steeled myself for a moment and then tossed Eris all the way over to Aizen. He easily snatched Eris out of the air. He then reached into his... outfit for lack of whatever it was called since I didn't know, and he pulled out a familiar little object.
"The Hougyuku," I stated as my eyes lit up slightly.
"Indeed. I want the coin to merge with it."
"Do you have any idea what the hell that will do?"
"Of course I do. It is the entire reason I have yet to merge with it. The increase in power and ability that will come from absorbing your coin will be immeasurable. Once it is complete I will have no need to create the ouken as this will allow me to tear open a path directly to the Spirit King. I almost hesitated taking this route due to the powerful beings that existed in this realm, but I saw that the potential benefits outweighed the risks."
"If you do this then countless worlds outside of the realms you know of will be in danger. You could very well doom us all!"
He merely smirked as he touched Eris to the Hougyoku. A bright light erupted from the connection and blinded everyone around. It felt like quite a while until the light subsided, but it was probably a handful of seconds as it dimmed and showed what the result was. The Hougyoku has disappeared and a sort of rainbow aura surrounded Eris as she stood upright in Aizen's hand.
"Spectacular. Now with this-"
That was about as far as he got before Eris vanished and I felt her in my grasp once more. Even holding her then I could feel the surge of power that was contained inside of her. It was just as I, or rather future me, had predicted.
As I caught it out of the air a fun little event happened. I received a fun slideshow of events in my brain. Well... not really that fun. Why? Because the information was going as super speed and hurt like hell. I'm pretty sure I let out a yell at the beginning as everything that the future me had experienced was now stampeding through my brain. Years worth of information at a pace that the human mind was not meant to view events at.
"Hey there! I know that this little slideshow is sucking pretty hard right now, but there is a point to it. Other than integrating all my knowledge into you there's something else that I need to do and implant it into your subconscious while this is happening. You see, I've had time to notice something very particular during this timeline. Aizen hasn't used any of the denizens of Hell this time around. I thought it might just be something off with my inclusion in this timeline's events.
"It turns out I was more right than I realized. In the original series of events Aizen had merged with the Hougyoku shortly after the Dragonballs had been used to bring back those who had died. Because shinigami can visit the realm of the dead he was able to contact people in Hell and merged with the Hougyoku to increase his power and release them into our world. Since no one died this time around he never found out about it at all.
"When he confronts you he'll most likely go after Eris. Since we both know that we don't have the power to combat him we're going to need to put our trust in Eris. He's going to try and combine it with his Hougyoku just like he did with Urahara's Hougyoku and Rangiku's trinket. If he feels that it can empower his own Hougyoku he's going to do it. It's going to be a big gamble, but that's where our faith in Eris comes in... "
Power instantly flowed into my hand as I willed everything to stop. Everything complied immediately to my will. Every person, hollow, being, attack, energy, and even the dust in the air stopped moving. I let up just enough to let Aizen speak.
"How is this possible?! You told Eris to listen to me!"
"I know ," I replied with my voice now echoing and a song playing in my head. "However, my future self is good at making plans. Given enough time that is. He even gave me an ability he learned to do. Mentally linking with Eris. Which was good. As soon as I saw the Hougyoku the subconscious memory of my future self came to my forefront and gave me the ability at that time. When you stated you would merge the two, I mentally told Eris to go ahead and do so with the distinction of subverting the Hougyoku's will with her own.
"It was risky. The Hougyoku follows your will because of your power. However, that isn't the case with Eris. She listens to me because we share the same aspect of friendship from Twilight's world. Loyalty. I had faith that she would still remain loyal and listen to me after she merged with your Hougyoku and my faith was rewarded. Now we are both closer and more powerful than ever."
"Maybe so, but we both know you can't hold this field forever. When it falters I shall kill you after Zommari kills your friends."
"You would be right. That is... if I didn't know about this little trick Urahara had made just for you."
Upon uttering this, a red arrow that looked like a cross with sharp edges flashed from Eris and pierced Aizen right through his collarbone.
"What... what is this? A kido? How do you know kido?"
"I don't. It's something that Eris helped to fabricate based upon my memories from a conversation I had with Urahara. He had me commit it to memory after predicting you would fuse your Hougyoku with Eris and then yourself at some point."
Several more arrow-like protrusions erupted from Aizen's back as I kept explaining.
"Now that I have the power, I can essentially form my own kido. That is what is happening. This is a sealing kido. It would have worked if you had assimilated with the Hougyoku as well, but I knew this would be the most likely outcome."
"You fool!" he yelled as his calm demeanor suddenly vanished in favor of a more angry version. "I do this so that someone can lay claim to the throne in the sky! You act without knowing what you are protecting!"
"I protect my friends. That is why I act. Though I assume you mean the Spirit King from what you're saying."
He looked surprised for a moment before becoming even angrier.
"If you know about it then why do you do nothing?! Are you so blind as to just obey it?!"
I held my hand in the air as the seal started to close over Aizen.
"Loyalty remember? If the people I'm loyal to are protecting it, then it should be obvious what I want to do."
"That's near-sighted dribble! That attitude will only make you a pawn for everyone else to use as they wish!"
"Yeah, whatever. Save it for when the Quincies attack."
With that said, the seal finished covering him up. Where he once stood was now three giant versions of the cross arrows overlapping in one spot where I knew Aizen most likely was. With the 'Seal of Destruction' in place, I used my free hand to selectively release everyone I knew to be on my side. I also teleported Goku away just in case he was still under control, which he most likely still was. Aizen was right that I couldn't hold the freeze spell for long. After a few more seconds, I dropped to a knee with spots dancing in my eyes. I kept holding it because every second I did helped out all of my allies that were still fighting.
Eventually it was too much. I fell onto my side as the spell dissipated. Twilight was immediately by my side to check on me. Zommari almost killed us both on the spot, but a flurry of sakura petals kept him away. I'd have to give Byakuya a thank you note for that.
"Seth!" Twilight yelled a little too loudly. "Hang on! You're going to be okay!"
"Yeah," I said weakly with my voice returned to normal. "Tell me I'm a jerk when I wake up."
I didn't have time to process anything else as I felt myself slip into sweet slumber from exhaustion.
View Online
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
Is This the Real Life? Is This Just Fantasy?
When I woke up from my overexertion of magic use, I was kind of surprised at how good I felt. It wasn't clear for a moment, but it came soon enough. I felt lighter and my mind was clearer than it usually was. Was that what a good night's sleep was like? it had been so long since I've had one that I don't really know anymore. That was only mildly important.
The important part was when I woke up I could feel someone else really close. I opened my eyes to see a sleeping Twilight Sparkle lying on the right side of the large bed in was sleeping on. Now, upon seeing this I almost jerked back in surprise. However, some part me knew that it would just be a dumb move. Instead I backed up a little bit before trying to shift the covers I was sleeping under so that they wouldn't disturb her since she was sleeping on top of them.
"So you're finally awake," a feminine voice called out.
Again, thankfully, I didn't jerk in surprise. Now that I knew someone else was there and knew I was awake, I stopped being so subtle and levitated the covers and sheets off of me without disturbing Twilight. Not sure why I didn't do that in the first place. What was even more obvious was the fact that I teleported off the bed to the side I could see and should have done that instead of everything else.
I was surprised that the voice belonged to one Robin Nico, or Nico Robin if you read it like that. She was sitting in a small chair in the corner of the room with a book in her lap looking at me. A cursory glance of the room noted to me that other than the large bed, the chair she was in with a small book table that you'd see in a motel next to it, the door at the far end of the foot of the bed, and an oddly rounded window that seemed to be closed off, the room was very bland. The walls were a cream color while the floor was covered in a nice red shag carpet that felt nice on my feet.
"You seem to look like your old self... well, almost," she continued.
I wasn't sure what she meant by that until I looked down to try and figure that out. Instead of the usual sight of my hairy, fat torso I saw a much sleeker version of my own body. I didn't have the typical muscular Z fighter type of body. It was more like a runner's body with a slim build. Also, I was uncomfortably naked. In front of Robin. Who was grinning. And very hot.
I immediately dove down and placed the bed in between us. She simply chuckled at my embarrassment. She then placed a bookmark in the book and set it on the table. Upon standing up, she opened a drawer on the table and pulled out some clothing with Eris sitting on top of them.
"Would you like these?"
I promptly levitated them over to myself and started getting dressed.
"Don't worry. I won't tell anyone. You're just lucky that I haven't had to be treated for Aizen's power or else it wouldn't have just been the two of you in that bed."
I wanted to make an 'I wouldn't have minded' comeback joke, but I was still too embarrassed to say anything just yet.
"So, you're a past version of the Seth that we know? Intriguing to say the least. Not surprising considering your history, but all the same not something that we were expecting having known you for this long. You were quite... different than we had pictured you. It didn't stop a few attempts from some of the overzealous ladies who knew you from trying to get in here. This is easily the least guarded you've left yourself in the last two years."
"It's kind of an odd feeling for me too," I said finally after getting dressed, pocketing Eris, and finding my voice. "I have the memories of that version of myself thanks to the memory orb he left, but I still have, at least from what I can tell, the same mentality that I did before it happened. That mentality being both on the grounds of wondering why you didn't let them in mixed with knowing exactly why you didn't let them in. It's a little confusing."
"I'd imagine so."
"Well, I probably ought to start trying to figure out what's going on. So... what's going on?"
"The short version is that we won. You held all of our enemies in place long enough that we stopped trying to simply contain them and were able to push back their forces. Most of the enemy forces were eliminated, but some of them, including most of the Espada, managed to flee. And yes, per your orders no enemy women were killed you sexist softie."
"While I'm really happy to hear that could you explain how it is that I'm now in what seems like someone else's body?"
"Of course," she said with a chuckle. "To begin with, you fell unconscious because you had run out of magic and your body didn't have the endurance to cope with such a strain that you had undertaken on yourself. You ran out of magic because you stopped the battlefield and without a battle taking place you burned through your reserves at a rapid pace. Once you were unconscious, Twilight placed a shield spell around the both of you after Zommari was thwarted to keep you safe. She eventually let the shield down when Gohan happened upon you both and the three of you sped away from the battlefield as quickly as possible.
"From there Gohan brought you both here to Capsule Corp. We checked the both of you over and found only the extreme exhaustion on your part as the only concern. They asked a few of us to keep an eye on you while you recuperated. We had stayed outside the room with the exception of Twilight to respect your privacy. Less than an hour had passed before something happened. Twilight yelled for us and we came in to find something unexpected. Your entire body started to glow in a golden color."
I wanted to make a snark about going super saiyan considering the setting, but this was too serious to interrupt.
"It took us a short amount of time to realize that Eris was also glowing. We never intervene when it comes to you and Eris. Therefore we decided not to do so this time either. That was how this-" she said waving her hand towards me, "happened. Eris somehow changed your body of her own volition into a much more healthy version."
I softly palmed Eris in my pocket while continuing to listen.
"Ever since then Twilight hasn't left this room. After she tried to get Eris to stop, and getting quite upset at us for not trying to do something, she settled for keeping an eye on you. She's been eating just fine, but she's been concerned ever since then. She's stayed here the last three days just watching you. She wasn't sleeping too much so we're lucky that she's doing so now."
That brought a smile to my face to know that she was so concerned about me. Still...
"And the reason I was naked?"
"When the glow from Eris stopped your clothes just... disintegrated."
"...Disintegrated..."
"They just turned into flakes of dust and wafted up from your body into thin air. I'd say the term disintegrated is apt," she smiled again. "Still, you don't look the same as you normally do, but you do look quite better than you did three days ago and that's before you changed if Nanoha's description was accurate."
"Yeah, but that isn't solely a good thing! I'm an alternate version of the man you all know! I still have to go home and try explaining this to people and going by the time differential I'll be arriving at most in the same night I left! How am I supposed to explain that I lost around fifty pounds in a single night? I at least had a shot with my glasses because I could've just said I decided to start wearing contacts! I'm pretty concerned I might not be able to go home now!"
"Isn't it obvious?" Twilight said. I hadn't even seen anything to indicated she had woken up. "You use your illusion spell. By the way. You're a jerk."
"Sorry I woke you up," I said through my chuckles while ruffling her mane a bit. "Anyway, is it really a good idea to always have my illusion spell going?"
"You don't have to always have it going forever," she said and yawned for a second. "You just alter it gradually to make it look like you're losing weight. But you shouldn't being lying to them in the first place. You should tell them the truth."
"Even if I didn't mind doing so, there's other problems with showing them this. There are so many issues with this that it's tough to even predict it. Like what my dad would think if he knew that I was friends with talking ponies. You have any idea what he thinks about guys like that? It would not be flattering in any way. That's just the first thing I can think of."
"You don't think your dad would like us?"
"I think at best he would tolerate you. At best. He still believes in racial stereotypes so I'd be very concerned if he ever met any of you. But that's getting off topic. The illusion spell will be a good idea for the-"
A knock at the door interrupted me. A shout of come in resulted in one more pirate by the name of Nami coming in to see the three of us awake.
"Hey there Seth! You look much better than before. Sleep off whatever was wrong?"
You know, I was kind of surprised to see Nami wearing some conservative clothes when she walked in. A tight pair of blue jeans with some high-heeled boots and an orange t-shirt with a light blue vest over it. Wait a sec. A turn of my head towards Robin and... Yeah, she was wearing the exact same outfit except her t-shirt was canary yellow and the vest was black.
"Are you two wearing essentially the same outfit?"
The two looked at each other and then back to me.
"I guess we are," Robin replied with a smirk.
"I never thought I'd see that happen," Nami added with a smirk of her own.
Now normally I'm rather oblivious to this sort of thing, but the smirks that they gave off indicated to me that something very odd was going on. So I decided to call them on it.
"What is going on? I don't think Robin would care that much, but Nami wouldn't be caught in the same outfit as anyone else unless she was infiltrating someplace and it was required. This definitely isn't that situation."
Twilight sensed my confusion and stood up on the bed in front of me to face the two of them.
"I don't think he remembers Nami."
"Well it isn't the same Seth. You told me that. I didn't think he would know in the first place," she replied a little upset.
I did relax a little bit hearing that. I wasn't quite the same person, but I had his memories so I tore through the memories I had and quickly figured out what was going on. Apparently while I had used my hypnosis ability on quite a few individuals it wasn't as many as future me had made it out to sound like. Sure, I pretty much had to use it on every person from the Bleach universe except Ichigo and his friends. However, the number of new people he used it on after coming here was actually sixty seven individuals.
Amongst the Strawhat pirate crew Aizen had only used it on the monster trio. Everyone else that came had not been affected. That included two individuals I hadn't expected to be on the ship. The reason why I was surprised was that the crew was in-between the Punk Hazard and Dressrosa arcs which means that even though I didn't see them last time, Trafalgar Law and Caesar Clown had been dragged along to this universe. Clown boy took it way better than Law did.
The point of all of this was that Robin and Nami hadn't been hypnotized by future me. The more shocking part was that somehow future me had some kind of godlike charisma and was dating both of them at the same time and they both knew and didn't care! Who in the fuck was this guy? I do not have that kind of swagger! How would that amount of time change me that much!? At least I know he didn't have sex with them. He was waiting until after Aizen was defeated and-
..........
"Oh my god this is the private victory party," I sputtered out.
"See? He does remember," Robin said.
"I'll admit I doubted he would remember."
"What are you all talking about?" Twilight asked with a look back at me.
"Twilight do you remember that night where Discord and I showed you those illusions and-"
"Yes I remember," Twilight cut me off. "It was both enlightening and... unnerving," she finished with a shudder.
"Well, the next phase of that might just happen in a second."
She whipped her head back around to see both of them finishing taking off their vests. I was pretty much as shocked as she was, but I still hadn't quite blanked out yet. This may have been something I wanted, but I was torn on whether or not I should just let it happen. What was I supposed to do?
What should I do?
Author's Note
I should point out that at the end I was referencing an omake I had planned to make that was pretty M-rated where Discord and Twilight popped in one night on me and the two of us used magical illusions to demonstrate to Twilight human sexual relations. It involved using me with characters from anime and would have shifted into Discord and I delving into crazier and crazier fetishes to both outdo each other and to show Twilight what humans are capable of. I have no idea if I'll ever make it but I've decided to put it into the story as an actual event that transpired and that's the reference I'm making.
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
Power Levels are Bullshit
"I can't do this," I said as their shirts hit the floor.
The two of them gave me incredulous looks.
"You're saying you don't want to?" Nami asked.
"Fuck no I'm not saying that! If it was a matter of what I wanted I'd already be naked and I'd have teleported Twilight out of here."
"Hey!"
"The thing is that as much as I want it, I know that I can't because you're both in love with someone else."
They both stared at me for a few moments before Nami closed her eyes and sighed and Robin smirked and placed a hand over the left side of her face.
"I suppose that is true. Perhaps we just tried to look past that. I guess we just didn't see it because you are, by and large, the same person."
"One slight split in my past and you get two people who are the same, yet different. It's kind of like an identical twin."
"Not quite identical I can see. He has more muscle definition and you have..."
Robin trailed off as she looked down my body. I got what she was implying. Without sounding vulgar, Eris had made changes to me everywhere. There were a few things that were still me like my hair, my- well, sort of my eyes, my fingerprints, freckles, skin tone, and voice. Despite those consistencies, a lot of me was different everywhere else. While none of the changes physically had a downside it was still quite the jarring change.
"Anyway," I said with a snap of my fingers; redressing the two ladies, "as much as I'd love to, I have to regretfully decline."
That said, since I'm not gay I still took a peek at them with my x-ray eyes. Regret indeed.
"I suppose since we aren't going to be doing anything naughty we should take him to see Bulma and our two dear doctors, right Nami?"
"You're right. By the way," she said getting a glint in her eyes, "since I now know you're not the man I care for, if you try to look at me naked with your x-ray eyes it's going to cost you everything you own. Am I clear?"
"No question," I replied; instantly glad I had already done it while hoping she didn't figure that out.
"You know they're kind of making you out to be a pervert Seth."
"All men are perverts," I replied. "It's just a question as to how much of one they are that leads them to be either desired, tolerated, or despised."
Robin chuckled softly at my words.
"Our Seth said the same thing once."
"Yeah, but he's probably got charisma through the roof somehow. That or..."
"Or what?" Twilight asked.
Actually thinking about it, I wondered if he had somehow inadvertently started to bleed off his hypnotism ability. I mean, he had juggled Nami and Robin, two characters from One Piece, a manga where the author had once said that no one on the crew would end up dating or hooking up with anyone, and had somehow made it not only work but kept them aware of it as it happened. I mean since I had his memories I knew that he wanted to try and date someone to find happiness when he came to this time period.
I walked out silently, following Nami and Robin as I thought about this. According to his memories he had wanted to try dating several people he knew were going to be there. Dating Cyborg 18 hadn't panned out because he was too late and Krillin had gotten there first. Isane Kotetsu didn't work out because he had to invoke his hypnotism on her and he had agreed that he wouldn't try anything on any woman who he used it on. He really stayed faithful to that one despite how many times Rangiku Mastumoto had tried to get his attention including the 'accidental' shower time mishap. Congrats to you my double for giving me that mental image.
After those didn't work, a date with Robin worked out well. A second date did too. After that was when things got complicated as Nami asked him out. There was some blackmailing and ulterior motives, but to her surprise she had fun. Somehow the two had found out and instead of the reaming he had expected, the three of them had ended up having a long conversation about it before they decided to try dating at the same time.
That was eight months ago. Honestly the whole thing was very confusing, but I'd never had a girlfriend before so I had no clue about relationships despite the fact that I knew that two ladies dating one man was really unnatural. Wow, this does feel kind of wrong in my head, but it is myself and I can't help but use self defense. Still going by my hypothesis if future me was subconsciously using, or even leaking, his hypnotic ability then that would help to explain things.
I suppose I could either deal with it or leave it alone. After all, the other version of me was coming back in a few days if things went according to schedule. I may have wanted to have some fun with them, but he was legitimately looking forward to it. Besides, after everything was over he was going to sail with the Strawhat crew so he could stay with the two of them. I wasn't entirely sure if I wanted to ruin that or not.
Our group made it to our destination before I could come to any decision, though I think it was about to be made. It was a relatively open room with various items strewn all over the place. Two of the walls were just shelves that held items of unknown importance. Other than a single desk in the open on one side of the room there weren't any furniture items in the room. No, there wasn't even a chair for the desk and no, the the shelves were bolted to the wall.
The only two people in the room were Bulma, who was tinkering with a large device, and Trafalgar Law, who was sitting up against the far wall; the bare one I mean. As we entered, Law gave us all a cursory glance before turning his attention back to what Bulma was working on. We ambled over to her as she remained focused on her work. I really didn't feel like interrupting her. Nami, however, didn't have any such reservations.
"Bulmaaaa! You have visitors!"
To her credit, Bulma didn't even flinch one iota. That woman had nerves of steel... unless her life was in danger. Even that went away as she became older and more confident. She also seemed to age extremely well. This showed as she looked away from her work and over to our little group. Again, I took a quick look with my x-ray eyes. Yeah it's starting to sound a bit creepy but honestly I reiterate the pervert thing from earlier and honestly the majority of either gender would do the same with that power. Not to mention that she held a special place for me as the first anime woman I ever had a crush on.
"Seth! You're up!" she exclaimed as she put down a few tools. "I was wondering how long you would be out for," she continued while removing some protective gear. "Having alterations done to one's self can be quite taxing."
She gave me an appraising look.
"It looks like the changes worked out splendidly though."
She then switched her gaze to Twilight.
"And you must be the famous Twilight Sparkle I've heard so much about. My name is Bulma Briefs. It's a pleasure to meet you."
"Likewise. Seth has told me about you a few times as well."
"All good things I hope?"
"Yes they were. You were his first crush in fact."
"Twilight that was said in confidence!" I hissed loudly.
"With Discord there?" she asked as if she was questioning my seriousness.
"Well, isn't that sweet?" I heard Robin say teasingly.
"I tell ya, I get no respect," I said in a perfect Rodney Dangerfield voice.
"That's cute, really," Bulma said, "but you know I'm happily married."
"I have more than enough meta knowledge to know that. Why am I here again?" I asked despite knowing why.
"Other than the obvious modifications made to your body, we were also concerned about any possible changes that occurred to your abilities. After all, Eris did absorb the Hogyoku that Aizen possessed so we have no idea how that might have affected her. She already altered your body before getting your permission."
"Not consciously at least. Though after a little thought I bet this might be the result of my subconscious at work. It happened while I was asleep if you remember."
"So you're saying that subconsciously you actually did tell Eris to do this?" Bulma asked with a modicum of confusion.
"I've never had a problem with the way I looked. I just thought sometimes that I should do something to make myself healthier. I just never had the work ethic to do it. I'm a bit concerned that this might end up wasted anyway."
"It doesn't matter," Law finally spoke up. "Changes were made and we need to see if there are any more. You swore you would get me back to take revenge on Doflamingo and doppelganger or not I expect you to keep your word."
"Which is why we're going to head to the gravity room for some tests!"
Ah the gravity room. Vegeta's little home away from home. Wait that doesn't work since it's inside his home. Ah well, you get the idea. He trained in there ALL THE TIME. It was his life's work, I think, because he always wanted to beat Goku to prove himself as the strongest saiyan of all. And he spent hours upon hours every day in there to make it happen.
While I could marvel at it later, since by then we started moving that way, it was Law's comment that stuck with me. Future me had made a promise to find Law a way back. Law may have said swore, but I had the memory too and I was immediately more focused on it. I knew he would figure it out too because of the plans he made to sail with the Strawhats, but he still hadn't figured it out yet. Bulma had been working on it with that large device I had just seen, but it would still take time. That promise concerned me mostly because it touched on one of my big core values. As such, the fact had me greatly more concerned than the other things happening around me.
Things like the conversations between the four ladies, and yes I'm counting Twilight because she's still classy you jerks, that were walking around me as we made it to a door centered in a T-junction hallway.
"We've all kind of gotten used to it. Seth isn't trying to be rude. He's just always thinking, even if it isn't necessarily important," Bulma stated.
I caught the tail end of that and felt a little guilty. I usually listened really well. Perhaps I didn't listen as well as I thought I did.
"Another of the plethora of things I should work on I suppose."
"At least physically all you need to do is maintain what you have right now," Twilight said helpfully.
"Old habits die hard."
"Let's just see if anything has changed with you. Let's head in-"
Bulma stopped short as she looked at a panel next to the door.
"Ohhhh! Vegeta!" she exclaimed equal parts agitated and exasperated.
"Training again?" Robin asked with a sly smile.
"He's upset that he didn't get to fight anyone he thinks was strong."
"Who did he fight?"
"Someone named Stark."
"He fought the Primera Espada Coyote Starrk and didn't break a sweat?" I asked. "Oh who am I kidding? Out of everyone you have the most powerful fighters. The only way they could win is through trickery. On that note, who dealt with Baraggan?"
"Byakuya was dealing with him up until you defeated Aizen. After that, he lost interest and left via a garganta. Robin probably informed you that most of the Espada escaped. In fact, the only Espada that was killed was Zommari."
"Vegeta didn't kill Starrk?" I asked in surprise.
"Well he had a young woman with him so he was spared when she shielded him. The two are now being held in confinement."
"Egh, you know what? That's future me's problem. When he gets back let him take care of it."
"That's what we planned on doing," Bulma said matter-of-factually. "You may look like the Seth we know, but we all agreed that you aren't the same one we know so we aren't going to follow your orders. Those of us who aren't under your thrall are still level headed enough to realize this."
"Most of the time," Twilight added.
"That doesn't bother me a bit," I continued. "He's the leader, not me, so he can take responsibility. I'm just here to seal the rift with Twilight. Getting the Aizen situation thrust upon me sucked but I understand and did it anyway. I am just exceedingly lucky that nothing bad happened to either of us or everyone in a multitude of universes could have died, or worse."
"I agree, and we can get that taken care of after we run those tests."
"I do like tests," Twilight said to which I almost snorted at, "but is now really the time?"
"Better to do it now in a more controlled environment."
"That's true," Twilight replied at length.
"Fine. The sooner we do this the sooner we can go seal the rift."
Bulma gave me a telling smirk as she pressed a button on the panel next to the door.
"Vegeta! We need to use the gravity room for some tests! Can you open up?"
There was a bit of a pause before Vegeta's voice registered from the panel.
"I'm busy! Come back to do whatever foolish thing you need to do later."
"Vegeta! We need to know what side effects absorbing the Hogyoku my have had on Eris and Seth!"
There was another long pause before the door to the gravity room slid open. There standing in the doorway was Vegeta. Despite the fact that he was almost a head shorter than me his sheer presence was really intimidating. It was similar to Goku except where Goku's went away quickly after you got used to it Vegeta's seemed to permeate everything around it continuously.
I didn't have much time to contemplate it though. As soon as Vegeta spotted me he went from scowl to smirk. I barely saw him do it before I felt him grab me by the front of my shirt and hurl me inside. I say felt because I couldn't catch up visually until I had already been pancaked onto the wall he threw me at upside down. I didn't even slide down head first like physics probably said I should. I peeled off of the wall instead. I was still aware enough to land on all fours and quickly stood up and turned around.
Vegeta had closed the door and locked it behind him if the angry shouts were any indication. I didn't get to think about that either. Vegeta's menacing chuckle was what demanded my attention.
"So... an even weaker version of the weakling leader shows himself. How pitiful."
"Hey we can't all be super saiyan powerhouses."
"Hmph. That is exactly what your copy said to me when he finally worked up the nerve to say something to me. You two would make a lovely couple."
A brief thought of the time Discord turned me female blew through my mind. It quickly left as I found myself face down on the floor. That was getting weird.
"If Bulma wants to run some tests then I see no reason why we shouldn't try to perform them in combat. Now stand up before I make you."
Instead of standing up normally, I teleported across the room. Vegeta slowly turned until he was looking at me over his shoulder. That smirk of his was not getting any less confident.
"I'm a younger version of the guy you know, Vegeta. Four years younger and no combat training of any sort. I'm pretty much just a punching bag for you. I'm not sure why-"
That was as far as I got before I was doubled over on Vegeta's fist.
"Of course you are. If all you do is stand around though then you can't be performing any tests now can you?"
"...Hit me again."
"What?"
I stood up from his fist and looked down into his eyes.
"Hit me again," I repeated.
Again I wasn't sure what happened. I barely saw him scowl at me before I was again plastered against the wall. I was at least upright this time. I looked forwards at Vegeta whose arm was still outstretched from a punch that probably hit me in the chest. I wasn't sure though.
"I couldn't feel it."
"What are you blathering about now?"
"You punched me into the wall... but I don't even feel any pain over it."
I teleported out of the wall a few feet onto the floor. I then proceeded to pinch and twist my arm. Okay, I felt that. It just didn't hurt. What was-
I was face down on the floor in an instant without knowing what happened once more.
"Don't mock me you worm."
I teleported again to my feet; standing in front of Vegeta a dozen feet away.
"I'm not mocking you dammit! I just don't seem to register your blows!"
In retrospect, I know that was the wrong thing to say. It was pretty much the same as saying that I didn't even feel him hit me. It's in the same vein as saying that his punches were nothing. You don't say that to Vegeta. He doesn't take it well.
"Prepare yourself you lowly scum. You're about to get all the tests you can handle."
..........Ohfucksomeonehelpme.
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
Happy Endings or New Beginnings?
"Let's get going," I said happily.
I pulled Eris out of my pocket and held her out in front of me in my fingertips. A burst of light came forward from her and a hole in space formed out here in the middle of the Brief's expansive backyard. On the other side of the hole was an alleyway that was pretty dingy and dark even though I could tell it was daytime there.
"Alright guys. Looks clear."
I looked on as the contingent of four from Yu Yu Hakusho moved to head through the threshold of the hole- Who am I kidding? I'm calling a shark a fish here. It's a portal not a hole. Anyway, I watched as Yusuke Urameshi, Kazuma Kuwabara, Yoko Kurama, and Hiei go through the portal; each of them giving me their fond goodbyes in turn. Except for Hiei of course because he's Hiei the silent badass type.
I remember what each of them said word for word, and stare for stare in, once again, Hiei's case, but honestly it just felt too surreal. I had memories with each of them. I remembered how Yusuke and I tore up some Adjuchas when we were learning how to properly fight hollows. I remembered how Kuwabara actually helped me learn his sword technique for my own use. I remembered how I sat with Kurama and talked with him about his concerns over his mother and the attachments he had with both the human world and the demon realm. Even Hiei and I got into it when I suggested he talk to Yukina about him being her brother. We tore up a lot of real estate over that.
Even though I remembered it all it felt... I don't know, like it wasn't really me? I mean that it kind of was and yet it kind of wasn't. It was an alternate version of myself that physically experienced all of this, but I had all the memories of the events that transpired which made it feel like it was I who did all of these things. It was, ironically, absolutely what I had always envisioned this little ability to be when I thought it up over and over again in my imagination for years. I suppose in that sense it worked perfectly.
That was really just something I received from my future self. The real good news was that I had found out that after absorbing the Hogyoku, Eris's abilities, power, and capacity had drastically increased. Both Eris and the Hogyoku had contained a lot of energy and when they merged those abilities both merged and were magnified as well. With the power she had at her disposal, she then proceeded to change my body according to my subconscious yearnings.
Still not only had my physical body changed, but my magical ability had grown as well. Everything my spells had done that Discord had used were apparently using a scaling effect. He had only used it to increase my stamina, strength, and durability, and I had done the same by simply copying the effects. I had never even thought about examining them in that entire time. Still, it was too bad I never really had a frame of reference for my strength. I knew back when I was doing the testing with Twilight that I could lift thirty five hundred pounds via levitation, but I never did check the limits of my physical strength past the one time I lifted the ponies with a single hand.
That was, I guess technically, thanks to Vegeta. The whole thing was a massacre. With no real fighting experience I was no match for someone of Vegeta's level. The only advantage I would have had was that my magic was counteracting the change in gravity so that I always stayed at one G. Even so we ended up keeping it at twenty five G's so that Vegeta could get a bit of training out of it without sacrificing any of his skills. Even so we managed to find out several things. Each of them interesting in their own right.
Almost all of my magical abilities had been enhanced in some manner. My shield, levitation, magic blast, durability, and even my illusion spell received an upgrade. The illusions I made were capable of becoming tangible now. They were also about as durable as a shadow clone from Naruto. Slightly better, but not by much and certainly not in the face of Vegeta's attacks. They also faded away instead of poofing.
My invisibility was really the only thing that didn't improve. Yeah, I could cover quite a bit more space with it but that was all. I don't really count that as an enhancement by my standards. Besides, Vegeta could still bypass it by sensing my ki after focusing enough. It was masked well. Just not well enough.
My durability is what really saved my ass. Vegeta didn't pull punches for me. I had originally not felt anything from any of the punches, kicks, elbows, knees, and headbutts that he used on me. I was still getting hammered all over the place. The issue was that I didn't feel any of it. That was, until he upped his game with a transformation to Super Saiyan. According to my memory he had perfected level two by now, but it wasn't necessary as his blows were now registering on me. However, it still just didn't seem to register beyond a mild pain. What was interesting is that it still took a while for me to show any discernible damage. Don't get me wrong, he pummeled the ever-loving shit out of me. It's just that it took over half an hour to start showing signs that he had hit me other than the sounds of me getting my ass beat.
I honestly think that was why he never stopped in disgust. I was a tricky punching dummy that didn't show any signs of a beating. I barely made any effective moves against him. He could tear through any illusions. He slapped aside a blast that felt even stronger than the warp kamehameha I used against Discord like it was nothing. He literally bitch slapped me to the floor after I turned invisible. Anything I conjured was taken care of with contemptible ease. And my shield spell was punched through like tissue paper. Short range, rapid teleportation was pointless as he was fast enough to get to me before I could do anything. The only two things I managed to do at all was grab him with my levitation spell and toss him into the wall and the free shot he gave me before he turned Super Saiyan to test my power. In short, even with my power up Vegeta still managed to knock me down a peg before I ever had the chance to notice that I had gone up one.
I took this beating, as well as Vegeta's verbal abuse, for close to an hour before we stopped due to an interesting ability that surfaced during the bout. Remember I punched the air in Powerpuff Girls and I made a hole in reality? Well, I managed to do it again right then. I didn't have to punch the air to generate the effect this time though. Instead during one particularly nasty combo from Vegeta where he just started punching my face in repeatedly, I held out my hand to the floor and a portal opened up that we both fell through. The other end of it led to the room I had been resting in. After falling through that, the beating- I mean the tests were called off.
This became the focus of all the new tests. Turned out that the ability which I couldn't really use freely to open portals between locations was stabilized by the Hogyoku's natural ability to break down barriers to form a stable portal at my own will. That invariably led to the other helpful discovery. If the Hogyoku could sense it and I could create the way then combining the two with a boost in power meant that I could open portals to other dimensions.
That led us to the now as I closed the portal after some more goodbyes were made between the four, if you include Hiei which is dubious, and a few of the allies and friends they made. I was capable of sending everyone home. The four of them elected to go first and as I had no pressing concerns other than the fact that I had to leave before future me got here I was content with doing so. We also decided on them because we didn't need to undo my hypnosis for any of them. Unlike the plethora of shinigami, none of the four of them had been subjected to the effects of Kyoka Suigetsu. It made sense really as there were far fewer of them than anyone else. Even the people from the T.S.A.B. numbered higher as the crew of their ship made up the majority of the support staff of our operations.
Of the other three groups that needed to return home only the Strawhat crew needed my help. Some of those from the Bleach contingent could technically come and go from here as this place was now an established location that they could travel to with a senkaimon. Don't ask me how it worked because no one decided to explain it to me. Or they weren't allowed to I should say. It was made into a secret that only the captains were made aware of and only they were capable of opening them successfully. All I was told was that it took a considerable amount of reiryoku to accomplish. They had to create any senkaimon that anyone else could use to get here. Except Kisuke Urahara, of course, because it was only natural that if Soul Society figured something out then he would have some miraculous method of doing the same. He didn't tell me either. Of course.
As for the group from the T.S.A.B. it was much simpler. The rift was still jamming their ability to leave. It was the same thing that drew them here. In fact they could tell there was another rift before I knew anything at all from last time. Unfortunately it also acted as a trap, or more accurately a one-way door. Dimensional travel into this location was easy. Leaving was impossible. Thus after we seal the rift they will be capable of leaving.
Of course, there was an interesting problem with that.
"Nanoha, are you ever going to climb off of my back or should I see a doctor about removing you surgically?"
Nanoha had become... unhealthily obsessed with me. Now that the fight against Aizen was over the only thing keeping her here was the rift. This wasn't the only factor as I had been thoroughly reminded. Apparently she had taken the words of future me in that video seriously. Especially the part where he told me to 'see if one of those babes are still willing to pop your cherry'. The problem was that we were always around at least half a dozen people plus Twilight when she spotted me and decided that she would fill that role.
Now don't get me wrong here. Nanoha was sexy as hell. In fact, every single woman I saw during my time in this world was either a nine or a ten. I, as a man, would bang any woman here if they offered under normal circumstances. This, sort of like Robin and Nami, was not normal circumstances. Nanoha was still under my hypnosis and future me had sworn not to have sex with any of them as long as they were in that condition. There was also the issue that she hadn't suggested to find a room. She was perfectly willing to strip and mount me in full view of the dozen plus beings around there and I was not having that. Would it be worth it? ...Probably I suppose, but I wasn't willing to risk the mental baggage I might make for myself.
"I don't wanna," she purred into my ear.
Turning her down was proving not to work out, however. I told her that I didn't want to do it because she wasn't really herself. I told her that I was willing to go through with it if I removed the hypnosis and she was still interested. In that regard she turned me down. She didn't want to risk her feelings for me changing due to undoing her hypnosis being removed so, in a bit of a childish move, she proceeded to jump onto my back, wrap her legs around my torso, and wrapped her arms around my neck. Except for the feeling of her breasts smooshed into my back and her rather appealing fragrance it was kind of awkward. It was also a smart move on her part. The feeling of it kept me from acting and apparently everyone had standing orders never to interfere with weird events like this unless it turned either violent or sexual and in the case of the latter even then only if one party or the other didn't give full consent.
Jesus Motherfucking Christ what the hell was going on with future me?
...Oh right, the smooshy feeling may have been a contributing factor on him as well. At least nobody was paying the display any mind with the exceptions of Bulma, Twilight, and Law. Everyone else seemed to be upbeat and chatty with each other.
"Nanoha I told you I wasn't going to do it unless I removed the hypnosis and you still consented afterwards."
"But I probably won't then."
"And what does that tell you?"
"That your hypnosis is really good."
"It tells me that you aren't in love with me and in reality you're just obsessed with me."
I couldn't see her face but the long pause and the look from Bulma who was in front of me told me that she was definitely having some kind of dilemma with what I said.
"That's what this is isn't it?" she said softly.
I wanted to say yes, but her tone was of someone who realized that they had been doing something wrong and didn't like it. Oh shit she's tearing up. I had to say something quickly. For lack of anything helpful to say on my own, I just decided to go with some lines I once heard that applied well to the situation.
"Nanoha, I know you care about me right now. I care about you too. The issue is that since you were made to think that way is going to stick in the back of your mind and mine as well. As long as it's there you're going to have doubts. You may not have that many, or any perhaps, right now, but for every action you take you're going to have to ask yourself if this is really what you wanted or if it just is what you've been told to think you want. Eventually all those questions are going to weigh you down and I don't want to see you hurt like that. You've already been under this hypnosis for too long. Let me undo it okay?"
I heard her sniffle as I waited for a response. This was way heavier than anything I ever had to deal with. Well, except that intervention my dad had when he handed me that handgun. Still don't think I'm over that one. Fortunately, Nanoha climbed off my back and I turned to meet her gaze. Her eyes had gotten puffy, but she was holding back the tears I saw a minute ago.
"Go ahead," she said quietly while casting her gaze towards the ground.
I thought about putting her under like I had with Rainbow Dash. She was definitely emotionally distraught enough for it to work. This time was different, though. She knew and I didn't want this to be the last she saw of me, since I was going to head to the rift after this, and I didn't want her to think any worse of me.
I placed my hand on top of her head and sensed around. It didn't take too long. The energy that was mixed in with my magic was the only complicating factor in it. That was the reiryoku left by Aizen's Kyoka Suigetsu. The taint he had placed in so many. Easily something I could become if I wasn't careful.
Just before I began I had something cross my mind that I wanted to try. I knew my future self was incapable of removing Aizen's reiryoku. In fact, he seemed to give up on trying pretty quickly. He was incapable. He gave up quickly. However, I had better magic at my disposal now than he did we he had attempted it. Why couldn't I do it?
I looked around for a moment to see if any shinigami were still around. I was in luck as captain Komamura was still nearby. It took a few moments but I got his attention and he slowly walked over to the little group I was in.
"Did you need something doppelganger?"
"I'm going to be removing my hypnosis on Nanoha. I want to attempt something else conducive to that and someone well versed with reiryoku would be appreciated to observe it."
He snorted and looked back to where he was when I waved him down.
"Captain Kuchiki, Captain Unohana, would you please join me for a minute?"
I hadn't even noticed the two of them. I just asked him since he was the first shinigami I saw. Regardless, the two of them soon joined us.
"What is it you require?" Byakuya asked in his noble tone of voice.
"It seems as though the doppelganger is going to remove his magic from one of our allies at last. Though he has asked for observers familiar with reiryoku to witness his attempt. I decided to call for the two of you since you both have an excellent grasp of reiryoku as well."
"I see," Retsu said. "I admit that I'm curious to see this in person."
Geez now they were staring at me. No pressure or anything.
First thing's first, I felt around for any foreign energy that I might have missed. Not sensing anything amiss, I started to pull upon the foreign energies. After I began I noticed quickly that only my magic was being extracted. I halted the process and took a moment to feel Aizen's energy. I had figured, which that moment then proved, that my magic had bonded and then suppressed Aizen's reiryoku in her body. When I tried to extract it, the magic separated and then moved to be reabsorbed. The whole thing felt kind of surreal to me as I had never really been able to sense things like that before, but I digress.
From what I could tell if I wanted to remove Aizen's reiryoku then I would have to either flood her with magic, which I was certain would damage her own ability to use magic to an extent I couldn't determine, or I would have to pull out the combination of the two simultaneously. That would be tough. I had to pour over my knowledge of the stuff to figure out a method.
That was where my idea took hold.
I moved the magic I had around once more to make sure that all of the reiryoku was bonded with it again. I then used the properties of my magic to change the reiryoku and converted it into reishi. If you're not sure what I just did I'll use different terms. I converted spirit energy into spirit matter.
You heard me. I changed energy into matter. I told you physics was turned on its head.
There was still work to be done, though. You don't convert energy into matter and just let it be. You add matter to existing matter and it will not be pretty if it's alive. Luckily for me, my magic was still bonded with it so I was capable of keeping it separate from her living body. Unfortunately, I still couldn't extract it in it's current form. If I tried, her soul would absorb the reishi as it tried to leave her body. That would cause terrible damage at minimum. Reishi doesn't exactly mix well with atoms.
Thus began the next stage. Bit by bit I converted the reishi with my magic again. This time I used the same principle that went into Urahara's Reishi Henkan-Ki only in reverse. The little gate he used converted kishi into reishi, or living matter into spiritual matter. Using additional magic I converted the spiritual matter into living matter. I had to do it bit by bit though because there was no way I could just start adding living matter to her body on its own all at once. There was enough energy to fill her entire head. I was not going to give her a second head's worth of matter. Her head would literally explode. I couldn't just remove the damn stuff either as I would essentially be ripping tiny bb's out of her head bit by bit and that would have the same cumulative effect.
Since I didn't want her dead I had to continue to one last step. I had to convert the living matter into something she could expel harmlessly. After giving it some thought, I came to a conclusion. I managed to slowly move all of the living matter throughout her body. I then separated my magic from the matter and let it flow back into me while the living matter expunged itself in a sort of wave. Thankfully, it worked and she had enough surface area to literally sweat out everything. That's right. She was now covered in sweat that used to be reishi that used to be reiryoku that powered Aizen's Kyoka Suigetsu. Actually, drenched would be the more accurate term.
I had never felt so damned impressed with myself to come up with a crazy solution to something that needed to be done. It really felt amazing. I removed my hand from her head and gave it a little shake to get some of the sweat off of it.
"What did you just do?" Retsu asked me.
"I just converted all of the foreign reiatsu in her body into sweat."
Unohana and Komamura looked shocked, but Kuchiki looked straight up agast.
"I'm sorry. I thought you said you converted all of the foreign reiatsu in her body to sweat," Retsu said in a sickeningly sweet voice as she looked at an utterly drenched and confused Nanoha.
"It's brilliant right? I had to locate every trace of it and convert it step by step and move it around her body to make the process work, but that is what I did!" I said getting pretty excited.
"You've just made a mockery of the cycle of souls. How could you be so happy with yourself?" Byakuya asked.
"Made a what now? I didn't-"
I cut myself off as I realized what he meant. I had converted reishi into kishi on a small scale. The only issue I had was that it was foreign to her body and subsequently any body it was in. If it wasn't there I could, in theory, convert a soul entirely and probably all at once. That flew in the face of their reincarnation cycle.
I didn't get farther than that. Nanoha took that moment to give me a hug. A small, very wet hug. I heard an 'aww' from my left, but I ignored it. Instead I simply reciprocated the light embrace.
"You feeling more like yourself now?"
"Yes. Thank you."
"You only interested in Fate now?"
That earned me a punch in the side. I guess I wasn't immune to gag violence. How that functioned still eluded me.
"Oh well," I stated with mirth. "I'm just glad you're back to normal. I hope you don't hate me," I finished a bit somberly.
"I don't," she said as she stepped away; much to my relief.
"Captain Komamura," Retsu began, "inform all the stationed shinigami about this development. Now that a method is available to us we should take the opportunity to remove Kyoka Suigetsu's hold upon us all."
"Agreed. The method may be unorthodox, but if it works then we shouldn't be complaining," he said before disappearing.
Was that a shunpo? Cool. I wish I could see these speed techniques. Hell, I wish I could perform these speed techniques. Eh, I shouldn't be complaining. I can teleport.
I looked over to Twilight who had been very quiet the whole time.
"I keep trying to get out, but they keep pulling me back in."
"If you're taking the time to help these people then I'm okay with waiting for a bit longer."
"Good thing because I think this is going to take a long time."
I paused in thought for a second before just blurting out something.
"You think Isane would like to go on a date once she's fixed?"
"I wouldn't push your luck," Retsu said in a scary, yet sweet tone.
"Fair enough."
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
Today was the day. Today would be the day that Twilight and I close the rift. I thought it would be yesterday or the day before. That was not the case.
Two days ago I end up taking the day to fix up the shinigami contingent by getting rid of Kyoka Suigetsu's influence. There were forty of them that I had ended up getting to. It took less work than Nanoha as I skipped the reishi to kishi step. While it took almost thirty minutes to treat her in comparison it only took fifteen with the shinigami. Even so it took quite a bit of time with that many of them, a little over ten hours, and even though I still had plenty of magic left it was still mentally draining. It was also dark by the end of it so we decided to get the rest of them done the next day.
After a surprisingly good night of sleep I was informed after exiting my counterpart's room that more affected shinigami had been brought in to be treated. Even Captain Commander Genryuusai Shigekuni Yamamoto, what a mouthful, came with them to get treated. There was old. There was experienced. And then there was Genryuusai. The guy was hard nosed and just reeked of 'I know better than you'. That was evident if you ever saw him without his uniform on as he was not only ripped but had scars in multiple places that let you know he had seen some shit. He also had an absolutely epic beard despite being bald.
Wasn't much of a conversationalist either. He was cordial for sure, but didn't have much to say to me for quite a while. That was the case until Byakuya had to be his usual dour self and told the leader of the shinigami forces about how I accomplished what I did. Now Genryuusai wasn't stupid. What he told me was that after I removed the effects that I was never to use that ability again. Now, I knew that he was doing that because he wanted to keep the natural order intact. I, however, knew that there were always exceptions that these rules had to have for safety's sake. The problem was that Soul Society's rules were always so rigid that it made any exceptions seem like egregious offenses. I wanted to argue the point with him, but I knew that I stood about a snowball's chance in hell of convincing him to see things my way. I simply grunted and went to work.
Or I would have if the captain commander didn't stop me in my tracks with a glare. He could tell that I was being non-commital with my response and again ordered me not to do it only more forcefully. I stared in aggravation back at him for what seemed like quite a while. Then I summed up what I thought about that in three words:
"That's fucking stupid."
Not the best move to make. He didn't appreciate it either. He held his cane out in front of himself and I immediately held up my hands to forestall him from pulling his zanpakuto out of it. I had to carefully explain why I said that and the extenuating circumstances as to why I would end up using it in the future. I'm... fairly certain he wasn't going to try to execute me for the time being.
With that out of the way I started treating people once again. Just like the day before I didn't really feel tired from it nor did I feel like I was using all that much magic. Yeah I was absorbing some back but I was still losing more than I received. I was certain at that point that it had to do with my transformation. After all it would make sense for me to have more of a capacity now that all my abilities had been enhanced.
Despite all the shinigami I had treated there were still many more to go by the time it got dark. What was brought to my attention was that future me would be appearing back in the timeline sometime very soon. That would be bad news. Of course, it was Bulma who came to the rescue there. She had the brilliant suggestion of using the memory orb to show future me how to treat them. I almost argued about how it wouldn't stay after I left but realized that my counterpart was still in this dimension. If at least one of me has a presence there then my active spells won't disappear like usual. That was even proven by the memory orb the other me left.
That was a big weight off of my shoulders. It meant that we could head on to seal the rift and go back to her home. Thanks to that I again got a good night's sleep after having a little time to unwind thanks to my illusion spell.
That led to this morning. Without the need for any other distractions I found Bulma quickly and handed her two orbs. One was for future me so he could treat those still affected by Kyoka Suigetsu. The other one was for her. That one was for her machine. It took a while to understand how to differentiate between similar worlds without Eris to help compensate automatically like with Yusuke's group but I somehow managed. That would help a great deal with getting the Strawhats home after Bulma finished with her device. Mr. Scowly- I mean Trafalgar Law would appreciate that I bet.
That, in turn, led us back to the site of the battle nearly a week ago. It was quite the sight to see. There were pock marks, scorched earth, muddy places that could soon be called swamps, and various other places where the ground had been warped in some unnatural manner. Twilight and I, along with Bulma, Nanoha, Robin, and the pilot of the ship we took, a guy whose name I never got, ended up a small distance away from a rift that was much larger than the ones I had previously encountered. Most were only three feet or so from end to end. The one in Rebel was about seven or eight feet. This one was dancing wildly between two vertical points that looked about half a football field apart.
"I'm glad we're doing this now ," I ended with emphasis. "This rift looks like it's close to tearing apart."
"Is it not supposed to like like this?" Bulma asked.
"No way," Nanoha answered before I could. "The rift we found here before wasn't nearly this size!"
"The ones in Equestria were only a few feet or so too," Twilight added.
"So this is bad then?" Robin asked.
"Only if it doesn't get sealed up soon. Twilight, I think you should hurry up."
I carefully held out Eris towards Twilight. The mare grabbed hold of Eris with her telekinesis and lifted it out of my hand. She then proceeded to slowly trot closer towards the erratic occurrence. Once she felt she was close enough she moved Eris forward until she was touching an endpoint. The erratic movements slowed down and the endpoint far about us made its way down. After about a minute the two endpoints met in a flash and disappeared. Even as far away as I was I heard her relieved sigh as she turned around and trotted back towards us.
Only for a stoic Kaname Tousen to appear between us.
A quick snap of my fingers and Twilight was with us again before he could do something to her there. I then put up a shield to make sure he didn't try anything else. This was not what I needed right now.
"It seems that I finally have the chance to talk with you without any real interference," he spoke.
"I don't want to just assume you mean me," I said, "but I doubt you mean anyone else."
I flicked my eyes down to Eris who had come back to my hand. Just over six minutes until we left involuntarily. I had to do something, but I couldn't fight him. I might leave before I finish talking and he'll take out the ladies in his frustration. Not good in either regard.
"Why do you fight-"
We were all shocked once again as a long blade passed through Kaname's chest right where his heart would be. The blade withdrew quickly and he fell to one knee allowing us to see behind him. To my utter confusion I saw Gin Ichimaru standing quite the distance away. He must have used his shikai Shinso to do that.
"Okay, what the hell is going on?" Bulma yelled.
"You didn't need to do that!" Twilight yelled even louder. "He was just talking with us!"
"Well I'm sorry and all, but I don't think he was going to let you just walk away from this whole thing ya know?"
"You didn't know that!"
"You're just trying to get back into our good graces after Aizen was defeated aren't you?" I asked. "You know I could've just told them you were deep cover to get revenge on him."
"Oh? And how would ya know that? I don't remember saying that to anyone."
"My knowledge is extensive. Aizen should have made mention of that."
"He didn't exactly share that much ya know?"
"I still haven't forgiven him for hurting that man!" Twilight yelled.
"Don't worry. I just used some anesthetic on my blade. It just worked extra fast cause it was so close to his heart."
"You shouldn't have done it at all!"
"Everyone calm down!" I yelled before settling down. "I don't know if he was going to attack or not but what's done is done. Both Tousen and you are considerably dangerous. I'd talk about it more but I'm about to leave involuntarily. Come back in three days and you can talk about it then."
"Ah shucks I really wanted to talk now."
"I'm a doppelganger. You'd be getting nowhere anyway. Now, let us take care of Tousen okay?"
"Sure, sure," he waved off-handedly while turning around. "I guess I'll talk about what I know later."
Gin then disappeared probably in a shunshin. I let out a sigh of relief and dropped my shield. I watched as Twilight hurried over to the fallen Kaname along with the pilot. Robin simply crossed her arms and used her powers to look him over from here. Pretty cool really.
"He's breathing," the pilot said, "but he's still losing blood."
"Get him to the ship," Nanoha ordered. "We'll be taking him back for treatment."
After a quick salute and a use of Robin's powers Tousen was hurriedly being carried off to the ship.
"Well, that ruined the mood," I stated to try and bring some levity.
"Yeah," Bulma said. "Another headache for us."
"At least we have another threat taken care of. I'd say we came out ahead," Nanoha said brightly.
"Anyway, it's time for Twilight and myself to get going. We've got... seventy-five seconds until we leave."
"It's been interesting seeing you here. Even if we have had something like this happen with Trunks once before."
"Yeah. Make sure everyone keeps training, even Gohan if only to keep himself going at this level."
"More enemies?"
"More enemies."
"I'll let them know."
"Also tell Goku and Vegeta to work on level three. It should help a lot."
"I look forward to telling them that," Bulma said with more than a hint of tiredness.
"One last thing. Stop using contraception now. It should be about the right time for you to get pregnant with your daughter."
"WHAT!?!"
"Robin," I said ignoring Bulma's rambling, "take care of future me."
"Of course I will. I hope he takes care of me too."
"I know he will."
I turned to Nanoha, but I found no words coming as I stared at her face. I had no idea what I could say to her. An apology didn't seem right anymore. I didn't have any words of encouragement either. Nothing to tell her about. Nothing to give to her. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
Chu~
I stood there in utter bafflement as Nanoha stepped forward, leaned in, and gave me a peck on the cheek. I was frankly shocked by the gesture. It had to have shown on my face as she giggled airily.
"It's a token of thanks. For not taking advantage of me I mean. I think I could see a day where I'd fall for you. If you'd lose that beard first anyway."
Yeah, that was right when the light from Eris erupted into all our eyes. Still I think I managed to say one last thing before I left.
"Maybe I will."
Author's Note
In case somebody was wondering chu is a sound effect that Japanese often use for kissing.
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
I barely had time to notice that the light had went away before I felt myself tackled to the ground. There was quite a bit of chatter as my vision returned to show me that I was in the middle of a pile of hugging ponies. Being the largest of the group I found myself more towards the bottom of the pile than the middle I suppose. Didn't really bother me as the leg hugging me around my torso made me feel like I was an actual part of this instead of just being an extra wheel. The moment couldn't last forever though. Pinkie, who's leg was the one wrapped around me, managed to get everyone's attention.
"Wait a sec! Something's different!"
Her declaration was accompanied by the mare grabbing at my gut- er, I guess abs would be the right term. Heh, I had abs now. Anyways she still was able to grab me and by the time everyone disengaged from the group hug they all, minus Twilight who already knew, realized what Pinkie meant as she said one more line.
"It's almost feels like I'm touching a whole different pooooohhh that's why."
"What in tarnation happened to yah?"
"You look different," Rainbow Dash said bluntly.
"We, that is Eris and I, kiiiinda got an upgrade," I said sheepishly.
"What do you mean an upgrade?" Rarity asked. "Other than you quite noticeably slimming down I mean."
"Way tah be tactful there Rarity," Applejack drawled out.
"I'm too excited about what I can do now to care. What happened though is that Eris was forced to absorb an artifact by this jerk who wanted to power up that artifact. Too bad for him that Eris had too much of a bond with me to let herself get taken away and now she's much more powerful! Not only that but she shared some of that power with me which gave me my new look, made my spells stronger, and I figured out this little trick too! Watch!"
I held my hand out to the side with my palm out and concentrated a bit. After a few moments a portal slowly expanded outward. What was on the other side surprised all of us. It was an underwater area. Fish swimming by and everything. Pinkie was the first to check it out as she dove inside which scared away the fish. She swam a little bit away before coming back through soaking wet. She then shook herself off like a dog and poofed up into a big fuzzy ball when she was done. Needless to say but the rest of us took on the water she shed despite the dry looks we were giving her.
"Whoops! Sorry!"
Applejack just took the time to stick her hoof through to test it out herself.
"What is this?" she asked softly.
"Who cares? It's awesome!"
"I know right?" I responded. "I can make portals to just about anywhere I can think of and even places I don't! Eris can even record the places I've been to so that I can go back to those specific places that might have minute differences. All kinds of possibilities have opened up for me! I bet I can even go back and forth from home without much difficulty now! This is great!"
"How in the world is all that water staying in there?" Rarity asked.
"It's a permeable membrane," Twilight responded. "It only responds to focused entry along its surface so that air, water, dirt, et cetera doesn't fall through. It's a good thing too because while he was testing it out he opened up a portal inside an active volcano," she said while smirking.
"Oh come on Twilight, after that initial shock we all had you have to admit it was pretty cool to look at."
"I... won't deny that."
"Like I said," I continued as I closed the portal after Applejack removed her hoof, "With this I don't have to worry relying on Discord, the Elements of Harmony, and all the alicorns I know of to help me go back home. I can now go back on my own! Isn't that great!?"
I was answered by silence.
"I said isn-"
I stopped talking instantly as I noticed why there was no answer. Everyone other than me had frozen in place and the world itself was shifting into black and white colors. I reached out to Twilight since she was the closest to see if I could somehow do something, but my hand phased right through her. I was understandably freaked out. I was until I noticed one individual who wasn't like that.
"Doctor?"
"Yes, it's me. Kind of an odd moment isn't it?" he asked trotting up calmly to me while also phasing through Fluttershy on his way to me.
"I'll say. But if you're here then maybe you know how to get out?"
"Well, that is the issue now isn't it? For me anyway. There's already a way out for you."
"There is? What is it?"
"I'm sorry," he said almost inaudibly. "I'm so, so sorry."
Now, I'm not entirely sure if my blood ever ran cold before that moment. It sure as hell did right then. That was in no way a good thing. Why did it happen then you might ask? Well, if you aren't either attentive or someone who watches Doctor Who then you should know this. If someone, especially the Doctor, tells you that then Bad Things are going to be happening to you.
"...How bad is it?"
"Most likely the end of your existence at minimum. You may get lucky, but I wouldn't bet on it. The odds aren't in your favor."
"Joy," I said flatly before I suddenly fell when the ground stopped existing. I stumbled a bit on landing but righted myself quickly enough. A glance around showed me an interesting sight. Does anyone remember the The Matrix Reloaded scene with Neo talking to the Architect? Well the room I was in was just like that: a round room with television screens going in a circuit around the room. The difference between that room and this room was that this room didn't have any doors or other occupants and also had three rows of high definition televisions encircling the room instead of those smaller screens. Every one of them that I looked at moved to project me like a mirror.
I stopped this as a hole opened up a fair distance away from me. I then looked on as a large white chair rose up out of the hole with a single occupant. He wore a plain white suit with a black string tie and a pair of black loafers. His face looked familiar and not because of his white hair and goatee that made him look like he belonged at Kentucky Fried Chicken. It was something else that I couldn't place for some reason.
"Hello there," he spoke in a deep southern accent. "I'm Colonel Sanders."
"The fuck?"
"Oh right. You haven't seen that. No matter It isn't important."
He waved his hand in front of his face and the goatee vanished. I instantly recognized who I was looking at then. It was me. A KFC style version of me.
"What the hell?"
"Don't worry too much," he said sticking with his accent. "I'm just using a familiar face to have a chat with you about your future."
"What future?"
"Why, your possible lack of one of course."
"Again, what the fuck?"
"Due to the sudden access to cross-dimensional travel your case has been upgraded from Category II to Category I. Direct intervention is now required to deal with the issue at hand. Qualifiers are at seventy-five percent which is better than most so you might not simply be erased."
"Dude! You've got talk to with words I understand."
"Alright then. Tomato frightened grows house have janitor gullible appropriate jury the gust facial pot notation so since nuke satellite computer unite plated business. Is that better?"
"That joke isn't as funny when I'm not the one using it."
"Of course it isn't."
"Would you please tell me what's going on?"
"See? Being polite wasn't so hard now was it? To answer your question an anomaly was detected in the My Little Pony universe in the non-standard zone. It was initially unnoticed as a case manager hasn't been issued for that realm yet. After I was dispatched I noticed the error quickly enough and sent a proxy to deal with it. Unfortunately extra interference was generated and he failed. More direct intervention was to occur until the issue seemed to resolve itself when entity Discord returned you to your home. A fading effect was put into place and the situation was declared resolved."
"You're talking about what happened when Discord pulled me to and from my world. I see. So what is going on with that?"
"Let me finish first."
"Alright, that's fair I guess."
"Thank you. The situation was reopened after another anomaly was detected with the same parameters as the first time and I was called back to work on the situation once again. After once again dispatching the proxy several extra factors came to my attention that required repair work. As you seemed to be capable of handling the situation yourself the proxy was made to observe instead to see if any additional work was needed. Until your exit from the last dimensional rift it was deemed unnecessary. However, upon your exit from the last dimensional rift changes were observed that required immediate attention. That brings us to the current situation.
"Your ability to freely travel between dimensions has been declared a danger to canonicity."
"Canonicity?"
"Indeed. You didn't just fall into any world. You were dragged into the canon universe of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Not some echo universe."
"That's what I thought I was in the whole time! So what if I am?"
"Your appearances have had consequences," he said while getting more visibly upset. "Did you think that nothing would come of the transgressions that you have committed? This is cause and effect on a universe altering scale. Changing things in an echo universe such as a fanfiction is easily explained and therefore easily repaired. Changing an actual event or story in the canon universe is highly problematic and can alter destinies in ways that would affect entire mindsets and civilizations!"
"Are you sure you’re not just being overdramatic?"
"Think for a moment! If you inserted yourself into a canon universe, one of millions of things can go wrong just with you breathing the very air! It’s the butterfly effect at its grandest! You could distract the hero in a gunfight and instead of dodging a bullet aimed at his head, he has a quarter second less reaction time and it impacts instead of looking cool to the viewers! The hero dies and suddenly people don’t believe the ending. Fans will abandon the show or worse, if it comes from a rerun their minds will have double exposure!"
"Double exposure?"
"A causality event that can cause spontaneous existence failure!"
"Really ?"
"It is a very real and very dangerous event that is caused by time travel!"
"But I went through time once before and didn’t cause any problems since it was a causality loop."
"You had a second universe that allowed for a temporal offset that allowed for two different points of entry. There was also the fact of the matter that time travel works in that manner in My Little Pony. The same cannot be said of the real universe. In the real universe, a time travel event can alter events and when they are altered they fight for dominance with the original timeline of events which leads to them being cancelled out."
"And thus not existing at all,” I finished.
"Exactly," he stated while calming back down.
"So how does the Doctor get away with it?"
"The Doctor was my proxy and any effects were corrected as they occurred."
"You took over the Doctor to fix the problem?"
"The Doctor you encountered was a proxy created by myself based on the image of a pony that resided in Ponyville and that used knowledge of the Doctor from the same series to gain your trust."
"Okay that pisses me off in several ways."
"It doesn't matter any longer. As a Category I issue all damage created by you must be corrected and your story must be nullified."
"My story?"
"Of course. I suppose it won't hurt to tell you now."
"Tell me what?"
"That you're just a Mary Sue self insert character."
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
"There is no way I'm a Mary Sue. That's stupid."
"Of course you think that. Given your unique circumstances it might look that way. It doesn't matter. You are one and you're just in typical genre blindness right now."
"How would I be the one with genre blindness?"
"Characters rarely see things about themselves that others can see easily. You've seen this enough times to know this regardless of yourself."
"How can you say that?"
"With ease."
"How can you be so nonchalant about this!?! This is my fucking life you're talking about!"
"When you've seen the things I've seen and lived lives the way I've lived you tend to become jaded rather easily and develop quirks or rules to govern your behavior. Your lucky that I'm one of the more understanding types or I wouldn't have even given you any explanations. I would have simply purged your story and any traces of your involvement in the six timelines you affected."
"I... thought I went to seven..." I finished lamely.
"You seemed to still have a pull towards your own original story despite the error that occurred. You see your story just so happened to be the last one you came from."
"You mean...?"
"That was the story you were supposed to arrive in. Due to some anomalous factor that I have yet to identify instead of ending up there you somehow became tied into the My Little Pony universe. What is worse is that it wasn't an echo universe like we can control, but instead it was the canon universe from which all variants stem from. You should have lived your entire life in the correct story and honestly it wouldn't have given me this issue I have to deal with. I had to take time away from managing the variants from Strike Witches to cover this."
"So I... should have ended up in Dragonball Z?"
"That's right. And furthermore the man in charge of Dragonball variants should have been the one to take care of this if that was the case. However, since you never arrived there permanently you were considered to be of origin in My Little Pony. Since there is no one in our group in charge of My Little Pony sub-designation Generation Four case management I was assigned... Which is right back where I started."
"Even if I started believing that I was a self insert how could you possibly believe I'm a Mary Sue type anyway? I don't fit right."
"Instantly connecting with characters. Characters acting outside of the norm. Changes in physical characteristics with minor detriment to yourself. Boosts in ability being handed to you. Social skills that are better than a bag of potatoes. Having characters fall in love with you with little effort. I have many different examples which I can give you to prove this. You are foolish to consider these large number of coincidences anything else than the sum of the traits of a Mary Sue. To deny it any further is to just delude yourself."
I wanted to. I wanted to deny him. I wanted to deny the situation. I wanted to so bad... but I couldn't. I couldn't because I saw that other version of me in that story. I had his memories. If I was a Mary Sue, then that would explain a lot of things. Hell, I didn't even have to look there. Rainbow Dash nearly giving me a drive through, so to speak, is sufficient enough. Hell the only evidence I needed was the side effect of my hypnotism; women desiring me sexually without rational thought.
"I'll take your silence as admission. We can move things along now. You have been classified as a Category I issue. That means that you have the potential to be a threat to any history you can enter. Of the three categories this one is the most dangerous. With your powers it is even more dangerous. It is, however, part of the reason that you aren't being erased immediately.
"There are many beings that can alter reality to their whims. They already have the necessary abilities to make themselves non-threats to the timelines so we simply keep an eye out for anything that might go wrong. However, not all of them come into being with that power. Some like you are created through a series of circumstances that allow you to do so. You do not have all the necessary abilities. At least not yet. Therefore under the Fair Test clause since you have several of the necessary characteristics and fall into a non-managed canon timeline you are given the option of undergoing a test to see if you can form those abilities and if so will be given a probationary license to manage cases that fall in this universe."
"So... I guess... what would that entail?"
"You would be sent to another monitored timeline. There I will assess your abilities and see whether or not you can perform the necessary task for you to be given a license. If not, then you will be erased along with your story."
"What do I have to do?"
"That would be telling. It is your test to see if you can figure that out on your own and perform the necessary ability. No hints will be given."
"That's bullshit," I said as bluntly as I could.
"It is what it is. The success rate is currently nine percent so I wouldn't give up hope just yet. The only question is where to send you."
"Could I at least go somewhere familiar?"
"...Very well," he agreed at length. “Anywhere in particular or should I acquiesce to any other of your demands for your test?”
“Eh, surprise me.”
Oh shit, he’s got the shit-eating grin in full effect. What was I thinking?
“As you wish,” he stated.
He waved his hand in front of himself in a wide arc while mouthing ‘good luck’ and then I felt my body lurch. Almost immediately after that I fell through some hole that just appeared below me. I didn’t fall for long though. Instead my momentum shifted and suddenly down was behind me rather than below me.
As quickly as it started my fall ended on my back. The sudden halt of my momentum was a bit startling and I quickly rolled over and brought myself up to a knee. What I saw around me was not something I recognized.
It was like a bombed-out wasteland. Grey and black were the only colors that seemed to permeate the stupidly hot area. It was like a fire had laid waste to everything, except it wasn't quite the right appearance. I say that because even the brick was like that. The worst part? It looked like this used to be a college.
"What kind of shit had to have happened here?" I mumbled to myself.
It was then when I heard the sound of gunfire ring out. Of course this made me think of a post-apocalyptic world that I had been sent to, but it also made me think that maybe this was what I was supposed to be tested on. I jogged, albeit reluctantly, towards the sound of the gunfire with the intent of doing something when I got there.
I managed to hear the gunfire coming from a large building that definitely got some cues from Greek architecture. Not a great deal, but enough that I got the vibe from it which is cool because I really dug Greek mythology. After finding some open glass doors I carefully went inside. The doors led into a large lobby with a couple of staircases on either side. Not really wanting to climb up some long staircase I cautiously entered a door next to the staircase on the right. I was sure I was still on the right track as more gunfire erupted from up ahead. There was some shouting as well now, but I couldn't make it out.
I continued walking down the hallway until I reached a blown out doorway. I carefully pressed myself against the wall next to it and looked through it to see a vast courtyard area. It didn't seem nearly as wrecked as it did outside, but in this area there were several people just firing upon one another in a shootout. They all had decent enough cover so all they were doing was just a lot of nothing but posturing. At least that was what it seemed until they stopped and I noticed the first familiar sight since arriving.
Lucien and Twilight. What the hell were the odds on- Yeah, I couldn't even finished that thought with a straight face. I wasn't sure why they were all facing off with him now, but I was beginning to wonder why no magic was being used. At least I was until I noticed one of the people chatting with him had this jar on his belt. I had no idea what was going on, but the damn thing was creeping me out. Like, vampire with hungry eyes type creeping me out. That being the case I did what I felt was the right thing and snapped my fingers, rendering the jar into tiny fragments of it's former self.
It turned out to be the wrong idea. As soon as the jar was wrecked, Lucien sprang into action. Not the good kind either. He proceeded in quick order to slam his green coated fist into the ground and create spires that impaled all the people there.
What was that? That wasn't Lucien's m.o. Well, kind of, but still...
“Dude what the fuck man?!”
"And you! Don't think I don't recognize you for who you are!" Lucien shouted while rounding on me, his bloodlust not fading in the slightest. "I caught a whiff of you and your magic when you first showed up in Equestria, and you just reek of Discord; someone I'm not on the best terms with right now!"
He marched up to me and aggressively got into my face. His eyes were getting pretty bloodshot to boot.
"I'm not gonna pretend to know why you decided it would be a good idea to give a complete stranger a chaos-infused chunk of adamantium, not to mention why you were there that day anyway, but I do know one thing!" He sneered, inches from my face. "That was the day I met him . And if you have any connection to that pony at all, I suggest you hold still and make my job easy."
There was an eerie quiet after Lucien finished speaking, the only sound being Twilight's soft sobbing in the distance. Not cool man. The air was dead around us, no breeze to cool down the heated confrontation. Lucien's menacing stance was highlighted by the dark silhouettes of the mages impaled on spears of earth just in the background. Something I still was having issues dealing with.
“Look man, I ain’t that guy. I know him. I had beef with him. I dealt with it. That doesn’t mean you should be taking it out on me.”
It didn’t look like that was the answer he was looking for though.
“I’m not ‘taking it out on you’, I’m trying to erase him and any trace of his actions in my life. So I’ll ask you now, what do you mean that you know him?”
“It’s… complicated, but ultimately irrelevant to what you’re after and what I’m needing to do here. Most likely anyway.”
His expression told me that he didn’t believe me.
“Then what do you need to do here? Because I need to go, and I don’t want you in my way. You need to learn not to meddle in the affairs of others.”
I knew he wasn’t going to like what I said next, but since nothing had happened here that I would consider even close to what I needed to, in my own mind, pass the test given to me I had no choice but to continue on.
“Well, I might end up in your way because there is something I have to do here that most likely requires me to follow you for who knows how long until I figure it out. Though just seeing you casually kill random people isn’t giving me the best vote of confidence in your state of mind right now.”
Man, that just rolled out of me naturally. I didn’t want to fight him, but I couldn’t stop running my mouth to him. Was I just playing off of the atmosphere or something?
“I’d call that a justification if I ever heard one,” he said definitively as he reached a hand up and grasped his sword. In one swift movement, he drew it and slashed it towards me. In a thoughtless move I instantly teleported a couple dozen feet back as he swung through nothing but air.
“I thought you were gonna make this easy!” he shouted as his sword morphed into a matching set of blue-tinted chakrams. Not missing a beat, he hurled them through the air at me.
I brought my hand up and formed a blue half-dome shield to intercept, but to my chagrin as they were on the side of Harmony they sheared right through them causing me to duck them instead.
In a flash of blue, the weapons appeared back in his hands. They morphed back into a sword, then a hammer of a familiar red tint. He charged at me, readying a strike.
I flinched for a moment before realizing that if his chakrams were on the side of Harmony then his big ass hammer would be of the stuff that I gave him instead. I simply motioned to the side and watched as the hammer went flying a ways away. Since he still had a grip for a second he followed a bit with it, hitting the ground on his side.
“Not the best idea since I helped you make that sucker. You calming down yet?”
He looked up at me with rage in his eyes. Maybe taunting him wasn’t the best idea. He rolled to his feet quickly, fiery energy coalescing on his hands. After a moment, flaming green magic claws formed from in between the knuckles on his fist. Heh, that was pretty cool looking. It was kinda like Wolverine’s but made of fiery pain. In the blink of an eye, he lunged at me once again, claws thrusting right towards my midsection.
I didn’t have much time to think about a counterattack so I simply teleported again. This time off to his left side and behind him. I was not really looking to fight him so instead I brought my invisibility up to keep him from attacking me again so soon.
He looked around for a moment, his face twisted into a snarl of anger. After a few seconds of searching, he relaxed his pose slightly. I had hoped that he was calming down, but his next words dashed that hope.
“Don’t think you’re gonna be able to hide from me,” he said, closing his eyes. Almost immediately, he snapped his head to look right at me, despite his closed eyes. With a quick shout, he leapt at me again, this time aiming for my head.
In response I started to back up. I had really hoped I could buy a little time with my invisibility, but that too was of no help. In lieu of that I formed a couple of illusionary copies of myself that charged him from the sides. That barely bought me a second as he dealt with them effortlessly. I couldn’t stay close to him because I was in no way an up close fighter. Therefore I teleported away again to an even farther distance. This time I formed a multitude of copies scattered all over the area, hoping that it would force him to deal with them before turning his attention once more to myself.
“I still see you!” he yelled while he slammed his palm against the earth, cracking the ground around him. In an instant, all my clones were impaled by chunks of rock, just like the guys from before. I heard the ground below me rumble as well, so I teleported again to an area already affected by the spires as it seemed to just wash over the area instead of just being directed all at once.
“This is getting stupider by the second,” I mumbled to myself. “I need to come up with something to stop him or I’m going to get Wile’d.”
The magic claws over his fists faded out, and he ran over to one of the spires of rock. His foot lashed out against it, separating cleanly at the base. The now-separated earth lit up in a green flame, the same color as the claws were. He made a throwing motion with his arms, and the chunk followed suit, rocketing at me.
Again, I teleported out of the way as it was the only effective means of dodging at my disposal. I was going to get concerned that he could figure out where I would go, but since he was still angry for no reason I hoped I had a little time before he sobered up, so to speak, and started thinking about it. With nothing else coming to mind, though, I simply had to start stepping into the territory I was supposed to represent. Therefore, I simply charged up a little magic and snapped my fingers.
What was not in my plan, if you could even call that a plan, was that all manner of creatures just popped into existence from the Mushroom Kingdom. Pirahna plants, goombas, koopas, you name it they just showed up looking straight at Lucien.
He sighed. “Chaos magic is such bullshit.”
“You’re goddamned right,” I said in my best Heisenberg voice.
I watched as the summoned mob all started to rush him, causing him to go into an impromptu gauntlet of hammers, mushrooms, and fireballs. He improvised platforms made of earth to jump and climb his way through the mess of virtual creatures, but it was clear that it was gonna take him some time. For some reason, he must’ve forgotten that he could probably clear it all out with a well-timed blast. Or a giant foot stomp to their heads might’ve worked too.
I teleported a bit farther back as he started working his magic on the horde of video game enemies. Something had to have changed him to make him get really super aggressive since I last read the story. I could ask Twilight, but this is probably what my test was supposed to entail. At this point it would make sense. If I had more experience in fighting I bet I could win this with near ease. No, that’s just assuming things. Let’s go over this scenario.
He’s good at close range. He can sense me even when I’m invisible. He can deal with my illusions. I bet he could dodge my magical blasts without much effort. I paused briefly to summon more goombas before thinking some more. This was a bit of a brain teaser. I obviously couldn’t kill him. He’s the main character. I doubt I could pop over to Dragonball and pick those up to fix him-
Ohshithe’srightinmyface!!!
I teleported once again, but this time was much closer as there was a slight cut in my shoulder where his sword would have come down on me. It was not really bleeding too much, but fuck did that hurt. Why the hell did it hurt? I thought I was near indestructible from what I could tell. When all else fails, blame magical bullshit. Not the best time to be thinking on that.
Yep, he was almost back on me again. Another teleport away and this time I charged up for a different summon. A snap of my fingers later and this time he was dealing with a ridiculous looking horde of giant rabbits. You heard me right. Giant rabbits motherfucker. Check ‘Night of the Lepus’ if you want to see what that can do.
“Can you not?” was all he had to say before switching into his hammer and going to town on them.
With him distracted once more I thought about the problem at hand again. The biggest issue I had was that he was just going to keep coming at me as long as he knew where I was. He was more than a match for anything of the level that I would use against him. It wasn’t like I was going to unleash the Flood on him or anything. I couldn’t do that. Therefore I would need to get off his radar and try to sneak up on him. A harder task than I might have thought from where this began. He could sense me even while invisible. Just like Sandcroft could. Maybe it was a thing here? No, not the time to worry about that. He was more than halfway through them already. Maybe if I concentrate on my invisibility even more. It was the spell I was most in tune with. Perhaps…
I concentrated even more on being invisible. Not just from sight, but from all senses. Smell, taste, touch, hearing, even from the sixth sense that everyone seemed to have in some form. Every sense imaginable or even not imaginable. I was undetectable. Untraceable. I was...
Gone.
And Lucien realized it immediately. His posture changed while fighting, his back and shoulders stiffening up suddenly. He finished off the bunny whose face he was hammering to a pulp, then teleported away suddenly. I saw him reappear on a nearby roof, looking around the area. I took a hesitant step back and saw that he just couldn’t figure out where I was. I looked down and even there I noticed that I left no footprint in the ground where I had been. Lucien seemed to give up in a way, jumping back into the middle of what was left of the giant rabbit horde to finish them off.
I looked around for a moment to locate Twilight and found her hiding behind a statue nearby. I risked a teleport over to her and checked to see if that did anything to alert Lucien. He was still taking care of the last four of them in a flourish so I assumed not. I looked back to Twilight and noticed how… almost sad she looked. I wasn’t sure I could do anything for Lucien at the moment, but maybe Twilight was a different matter.
“I think you’re the only one who can take care of him at this juncture.”
She jumped slightly looking around for me, but failing to do so. I guess I was glad that what I was doing was still working since I bet she could have pinpointed me with her hearing normally.
“Whatever he’s going through you’re the only one around with any hold on him I bet so I guess it’s up to you.”
I reached down and gave her a poke on the horn, giving her a little spark of power.
“In case you need it.”
“Who are-”
That was all I got to hear before I was pulled away like a gunshot from there and back into a weird starry sky area with some kind of fog around me. Wait a second. Was this the starry hallway from the season three finale? What the fuck?
As I tried to figure out why, something started to coalesce in my field of vision. It didn't take long for me to figure it out. 'It' being the unblurring form of Celestia. I, not being that gullible, knew that this wasn't Celestia. They, however, didn't seem to care one bit.
"Congratulations Twilight. I knew you could do it."
"...Seriously?" I asked as I proceeded to give them a look so flat that it could be used as a level for construction purposes.
"Not apropos enough for you? I thought this form would be quite appropriate for the situation. You see, you've managed to fall into the proper formula for passing your test. I know I'd be happy if I were you," he finished with a smirk.
"Ecstatic," I stated flatly.
"Honestly, do someone a favor and they always seem to think it's the worst thing that could happen to you. This is why we always get a bad reputation. I suppose there's nothing to do but continue with your initiation."
"Initiation? You mean into your little group?"
"What else would I mean?" she said as she lifted herself off of the ground with her body beginning to glow. "Do you agree to our terms and conditions?"
"That sounds horrible to anyone who knows what an End User License Agreement is! I don't have a choice right now though do I?"
"Of course you do. You know what they are."
"Fuck it. Fine. I agree."
"Splendid!" she shouted as her horn lit up. "Then welcome! Welcome to the Resplendent Order of Beatific Sentients!"
I barely had time to realize what she had said and yell something before a wide beam of light erupted from her horn and engulfed me.
"OH YOU GIGANTIC AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!"
Author's Note
Once more, an enormous amount of thanks to Sandcroft for helping me out. He dusted off his best Lucien impression and helped me with the dialogue for this chapter. I literally couldn't have made this chapter without him. Throw some praise his way! With this, only two chapter are left. Wow. So close to closing a four year chapter of my life.
Edit: Sandcroft has updated his story Ungrounded and has now made it to the chapter we both collaborated on. If you're interested, like I stated, in how the little interaction went between my SI and Lucien went in this chapter from another perspective go ahead and check it out. Here.
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
Most people think time is like a river flowing swift and sure in one direction. I'm pretty sure I told you that isn't true before. It's a lot more relevant to what occurred after I got hit with that beam from the Celestia look-alike. The reason being that it was just his own way of giving me information about what I was required to do and how to go about doing it. The process of which took about ten minutes and knocked me unconscious for another six hours. After I woke up right where he left me the only thing that had changed was that there was a note left just floating nearby that told me I was now in charge of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and that my presence would no longer be of any issue, but that he would be back soon to this place to go over a myriad of small details like unwritten rules and perks. I had that time to repair any damage I made myself and to get any outstanding issues resolved.
Knowing this I decided to head back to let them know I was okay. Instead of getting back to find out what happened while I was missing I ended up coming back right at the same time as I had arrived after coming back from the sixth world. That meant that I was able to see the effect of what happened to me. I meant that both literally and figuratively. The literal part was where I watched my past self freeze in place after the portal I made closed, mirroring what happened to me in a way, and the figurative part was when I watched as the ponies there saw me just fade away. I guess the part where I talked to the Doctor... proxy Doctor I guess would be more fitting, didn't happen here.
I could see them panicking, but I was becoming numb. The reason was that I knew I had to tell them about what was going to happen. Not only that, but the fact that they would most likely never see me again after today. At least they wouldn't see me properly. After today every time I might end up interacting with them it would create a split timeline in which one would see me and the other would be as if I never showed up.
That was the power I was given in a nutshell. I could now see the thread of fate that this universe existed upon and tweak it so that it diverged from it's natural path in order to create the many stories that people came up with on their own and make them real. I would be pretty much in charge and as long as I didn't break any major rules then I could get away with a lot of stuff.
One of those major rules was that I couldn't talk to anybody until my new powers had fully integrated. That would take twenty four hours to happen. That meant that if I wanted to talk to them one final time without creating a divergence then I needed to talk to them now. Now would be a bit difficult as they were galloping away at full speed.
...Oh shit, they're galloping away at full speed.
Well... I suppose this was as good a time as any. I halfheartedly drew my hand in a wide sweeping motion and not too far away all six of them plus Celestia and Luna appeared in a wiping effect. The confusion on their faces were quite evident. With a sigh I made myself visible for them so I could have my chat with them.
"Seth!" everyone under the age of one thousand yelled. "Are you okay?" they all asked in one manner or another.
"Yeah, kinda," I drawled out. "More or less anyway."
"Ya don't seem tah be okay. Are ya sure?"
"It's... complicated," I said while averting my gaze.
"You can tell us," Twilight spoke. "We're your friends. We'll listen."
"Yeah, you are... but I wonder if you ever really had a choice in the matter."
"What do you mean by that darling?"
"I was told something after I disappeared. Just like all those other stories, just like your story, I'm also a character in a story. A fanfiction story."
You know, I was expecting some kind of reaction upon saying that, but the blank stares, even from Celestia and Luna, were really disconcerting, so I defaulted into a stupid saying.
"I'm a dude written by a dude who wishes he was another dude!" I yelled waving my arms chaotically.
"Ohhhhh! You're a self insert!" Pinkie Pie commented in understanding.
"Close enough to be right," I answered while facepalming.
"Well, yeah I guess we understand, but why are you making a big deal out of it?" Rainbow Dash spoke. "It's the same as us isn't it?"
"Sort of-"
"He is upset because he feels like his existence is merely based off of the whim of someone else," Celestia explained rather well. "The whim of himself in a matter of speaking. That is why he is... upset."
"Why shouldn't I be upset?"
"Well, think about what you're talking about," Rainbow Dash continued. "Is there really anything wrong with what is happening with you right now?"
"Yes, yes there is something wrong with what's going on. I guess not really with what I've become because I guess it's pretty great. The problem is with what led me to this point. For that reason I can never... truly... see you all again."
"WHAT!!?!?!"
Ah there was the reaction I was waiting for. Still all of the questions came at the same time. I couldn't really discern any of them from the other. Thankfully that was put an end to by a timely shout.
"QUIET!!!"
A little intervention of the royal variety by Luna and everyone went quiet.
"I'm sure that Seth hast an explanation for his words. Let us hear them."
"Thanks Luna. Well... I can only talk about some of this or else bad things will happen to me. The long and the short of it is that I'm a fanfiction character. I'm based off of a representation of myself and was supposed to end up in another story that was created by a fanfiction author. Something happened and instead I was sent here to a canon world. Because of that I'm causing issues here that can lead to problems with your reality. As such some guy who knows how to fix these problems helped fix this problem. However, doing so brought forth a new issue.
"That leads me to what I just said. I might end up showing myself to you in the future or the past. Even if I do, what will happen is that it will create a branching timeline. There will be a set of you that do see me. At the same time, though, there will be a set of you that never encounter me at all. The set that doesn't will be you as of right now: the canon characters of My Little Pony. The only reason that isn't happening right now is because the new energy I'm adapting to isn't finished... adapting. It's why I'm doing this now while I have the chance. That's... pretty much it."
"But if you do meet us then at least we'll know that you're still okay," Twilight countered. "It may not be us that knows, but at least you'll still have someone who does care about you that you can talk to. I mean even if it isn't us, it's still us right?"
A round of affirmations from everyone else got me to start tearing up a little. I didn't deserve this. I had done nothing to deserve this. All I did was take from them and cause them grief. How could they just-
A pony glomping my face tore me from my recriminations as I momentarily forgot to not panic. I barely had time to flail my arms a little before I felt myself gang tackled to the ground by who I assumed to be a herd of ponies. Not sure how that worked considering that I could tank quite a bit but I chalk it up to cartoon physics at work.
"Don't be so hard on yourself," Applejack stated after Pinkie got off of my face. "I mean, ya may be lazy sometimes, but so is Rainbow Dash."
"Hey!"
"And ya may be kinda erratic, but so is Pinkie Pie."
"But I know exactly what I'm doing!"
"And ya can be irresponsible at times too."
"Not going to volunteer anyone for that position?" I asked.
"Nope! That's just you bein' you I suppose, but still, yer loyal like Rainbow Dash."
"You betcha!"
"And you got ah good sense of humor like Pinkie Pie."
"Yepperooni!"
"And even if ya don't do things right ya at least try an do the right thing. No one's perfect. Ya done right by us and we're all proud tah call ya our friend."
I felt a soft hoof place itself on both of my shoulders. Celestia and Luna had both walked over and showed that they agreed with Applejack's, and everyone else's by the chorus of affirmatives, sentiment. I suppose I realized right then that this was the first time since my buddy C. J. back in middle school that I knew without any reservations that they were my friends no matter what. It was funny. I didn't realize that, up until that point, that I guess I didn't trust myself enough to be their friend until right then and there. It just hit home how much I cared about them and how I would be their friend until the end.
I stood up and moved back a little in order to see all of them at the same time.
"Thank you all. Thank you for being my friends. It really means the world to me."
"And as our friend," Celestia replied, "you will always remain the world to us."
I teared up. I couldn't help it. Not from that. Not from any of that.
"Then, as my friend, I need you all to do one last thing."
"Anything."
"I need you all to remember me in your hearts... and never speak of me again. Because!" I yelled; stopping them from reacting. "If you mention me or talk about me specifically they'll do the same thing as before and slowly get rid of your memories of me. What's worse is that... I might have to be the one to do it. So please... do it for me."
Ah damn it now they're tearing up too.
"We won't," Twilight said. "Right everyone?"
They all lined up perfectly and spoke a touching, if not corny, line. Yes, even the princesses.
"Cross my heart. Hope to fly. Stick a cupcake in my eye."
"Thanks everyone. You're the best."
I did not want them to see me crying so I went invisible and teleported away. My endpoint was the cabin I was staying in while I was hanging out in Equestria. I... Huh... I need to know about my family. What do I do there? It barely occurred to me but my world still exists as long as I do. Now that I have authority over a section of the multiverse, as tangential as it may be, I have a permanent place in any of the stories I visited or will visit if I appear in them.
Maybe... I'll just take this place and live on Earth. That makes sense. With my powers I could just make myself anything back home to have it work. If nothing else it'll help me to keep an eye on things that might happen in other mediums as well.
After all, this is the first day of the rest of my life. I better make it a good one.
Author's Note
This took too fucking long. Still, I think I finally pried this damn chapter out of my brain. Damn emotional scenes take too much work for me. Oh and Happy 30th Birthday sis!
Cause, Effect, and Consequences
Epilogue - Friendship is Magic
"So... what is his name?"
"Shimoda Daisuke. I guess it's Daisuke Shimoda if you prefer English style naming."
"Kinda yeah. And what's his deal?"
"Naruto crossover with the game called Fallout 3."
"Eh, I never really played any of the Fallout games. So does that explain why he looks like... that?" I asked with a hand wave.
"Yep. Low charisma apparently warps how you look to everyone."
"Is it-, er, is he an S.I.?"
"Yeah. Reincarnation style. He's revealed some of his abilities but has told them it's a new bloodline."
I laughed a quick laugh at that.
"So Naruto bloodline bullshit at it's finest eh? Sounds appropriate."
"Not quite right, but still close enough. He'd fail the test right now despite how damn smart he's becoming, but then again he'd only be getting an underling position to me anyway and I doubt he'd want it."
"Yeah. I haven't had anyone even approach what they need in MLP right now. It's just me right now. Then again almost none of them think about it anyway. It's all wish fulfillment most of the time."
"You still down for a trade?"
"Damn skippy. Your only the second guy I've found interested in a straight trade. Everyone else wants favors. You have any idea what the guy in charge of Kill la Kill asked for?"
"That's pretty much how it is. You know that. You've been around for, what a few years?"
"Something like that," I said as I reached out my hand with a blue glow around it. My new buddy did the same with his hand glowing in a burnt orange aura. With a shake of each others hand a small bit of solid energy the size of a grain of sand materialized in each of our hands as we pulled them back.
"Thanks man. You and the guy from One Piece are the only cool guys I've found."
"Lucky Rick? Yeah, he's pretty laid back since One Piece is all about adventure."
He looked back to the side and I traced his gaze back to the centerpiece of this variance in Daisuke. Yeah, just watching him around with the entire rookie nine screamed of this somehow being ham-fisted. Eh, magnetic presence at its best. Not going to get any closer after seeing Naruto use his signature jutsu earlier. Might bump into him by accident. Oh now Daisuke's casting jutsu. Earth style there... Wait, was that fucking Storm release? Oh you fucking hax piece of shit. That off-setting appearance only grants you so much.
...Aaaand some goddamned fireworks. There's showing off and then there's this. I think I've seen enough.
"I think I've seen enough. I'm pretty sure there's some new works I have to help along by now."
"Sure go on man. I've got to make one with the demon realm invading Konoha soon anyway."
"...I'm going to ask to see that one later."
"Yeah," he said with a chuckle. "It's pretty much clickbait since it's a High School DxD crossover."
"Now I definitely want to see that."
I chuckled to myself and after a wave goodbye I layered a portal along the ground and jumped in; closing it behind me. I was instantly back in Equestria standing inside the run down site of the Castle of the Two Sisters. There was a deviation coming up from canon where some idiot is going to appear in front of the beam meant for Nightmare Moon in a few days. A wave of my hand, a little bit of concentration and the beginnings of a spatial fissure were set in place. Soon this would lead to a new timeline that this hapless idiot would find himself in.
This was what I pretty much did nowadays. All of the multiverse was actually both simple and complicated at the same time. It's pretty much changes in cosmic background radiation patterns and the quantum wave-function both collapsing and not collapsing at the same time in the same way as the Schrödenger's Cat thing. Look that up if you don't what that is.
You know what? Now might be as good of a time as any to say that since I know that everything can be a story from somewhere then you should know that I'm typing this from some alternate timeline of my home in case it can be read elsewhere. Weird isn't it? It makes this more of an autobiography about a certain time in my life, but I'm posting it on some fiction site called ponytales.com.
Funny story about that. Ducktales, the old cartoon, was really popular here. As such when My Little Pony was rebooted here someone remembered a line from the theme song for that and used it to make a fanfiction site using the line. It became damn popular because of the fringe association and expanded into a larger site with all kinds of extensions and galleries and what not. Just some trivia for you I guess.
Anyways, since that cat is out of the bag I'll get back on track. I had seen quite a lot of shit now. Anywhere from Cupcakes to My Little Dashie and all the rainbows and dark clouds in between. I was especially digging the T.D. series lately that had this guy who wasn't a brony. Any sort of thing was possible. Okay... almost any sort of thing was possible. The reason the universe existed or why they could end up as fully human were things I was capable of creating. However, I was unable to go back and make them interact with other universes of my own volition. It had to be of the will of the person who created the universe in question. I can make up my own universe from a deviation of this one... which I kind of did once...where I made a human version of Equestria with every female willingly turned into my harem. But anyway!
I did end up making an alternate timeline so I could keep in touch with them. The timing was pretty clutch too. Well, in so far as it could be anyway. I showed up a few days before Tirek, the giant dick, showed up. I almost messed up the whole thing, but in the end it was a net positive because I saved the library! Too bad it made a bit of a conflict for Twilight when that crystal castle was formed.
Anyway, I'm still glad I did end up splitting off a new timeline to spend time with them. I think it was something that I needed to do to feel better in general. I hadn't returned home other than to leave a note that I was leaving and for quite a while I just did my job while living in that cabin which I kept separated from reality and that meant I didn't talk with anyone other than the man, I think it was a man, that stopped by every once in a while to make sure I wasn't messing up somehow. I wouldn't even know how and he would never tell me.
What I did find out, and what I think is the most interesting part of the job, is what I called the referral system. Those six stories I visited while in Equestria still had me in them. I would've thought that they would be adjusted in some manner to either get rid of me or change it to make someone else appear as me. I was wrong. If at any time either someone in my position or something that is considered a ROB is placed within a story then we are considered invited into that universe without anything stating that we are prohibited. That means that if I am mentioned in another fiction piece I can choose to go there or, if I don't really care for it, send a proxy of myself in my place.
I've honestly only taken that liberty just recently. I used it to go and hang out with Ember back in the Danny Phantom work. I've been demonstrating rock songs to her in order to increase her musical repertoire. Well, only songs that didn't exist in that timeline though. Ghosts can apparently get sued there. Vlad Masters really was a dickweed.
All the people, ghosts, and ponies I knew closely now were thanks to the lesson I learned that the show preached most of all: friendship is magic. It means that when you find that friend who takes the time to tell you how it is, who will help pick you up when you hit the ground, who will pay for the pizza sometimes, who will share a chuckle at things you find funny, and who will have your back when others won't then you've found a true friend. That's what I've found here in Equestria. It's something I will treasure for all my days.
.........Pinkie Promise.
Author's Note
And that's a wrap folks! No planned sequels. No loose ends I feel need to be tied up. Just an ending that anyone who wants to make something of their own is capable of doing so. Big thanks to everyone who helped me make this fic. Another thanks goes to a writer by the name of Fulcon whose Naruto fic I used for the beginning of this chapter. It's called Shinobi: The RPG and can be read here. It's pretty good. Another thanks goes to Sandcroft who was the biggest help I had with this story. It's been quite a ride but if you don't want it to end... well I made it so you can continue the story. Have fun with it and make it your own. A story only really ends when no one remembers or cares about it anymore. That's why this fandom won't really die out because we care about the story. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to see if I can't finish my damn Ranma story.
