My friends in Equestria

by MachoMagician

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Adventure
Length: 1442

My friends Walker and Adriones know nothing of Equestria or its residents, so I'm sticking them in the thick of it.

My friends Adriones and Walker have never watched an episode of my little pony. I'm going to document as realistically as possible what would happen if walker, the analytical engineering genius, and Adriones, the excitable herpetologist, land in Equestria as ponies themselves.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-07-14 16:40:02 UTC

Introductions

          Walker crept up behind an unsuspecting Adriones.  Closer and closer. Adriones had no clue Walker was there, and then Walker pounced. With a triumphant shout he drove his energy sword deep into the back of Adriones. The body struggled and then collapsed. The word victory splayed across Walker's screen. Defeat on Adriones's.

         "Oh, come on. Agh, that's the fifth friggin' time!" Adriones yelled. He angrily handed the controller over to his brother Micah, just so Walker could lay he smack down on an even less experienced player. "Dude, I'm the king of sneaky. No one sees me." Walker smugly retorted.

         Just then a missile exploded at Walker's invisible feet, throwing his already dead body over the edge of the pit. Micah celebrated by looking straight down and firing his second missile. His crumpled body chased Walkers corpse down to the bottom. This ignited laughter from everyone in the room.  Patting Micah on the back, Walker then said, "Imma grab a drink, do any of you guys want anything?" Everyone in the room said they were fine, so Walker walked to the fridge and pulled it open. He scanned the contents of the door and spotted fresh apple juice. "My favorite." He said to no-one in particular.

          Pulling the apple juice from the fridge he rose to face the clock on the oven, "Guys, it's one o'clock in the morning." Micah and Adriones both replied, "So." Walker crossed his arms and stated, "We have a bunch of crud to do in the morning, and no sleep won't help that." Adriones pondered for a moment then said, "I suppose you're right, just let me feed Septimus first." Walker quickly gulped the last of his apple juice and prepped for sleep. "Glasses off, sheets on, pillow fluffed, I am ready to go." As he said this his head already hit the pillow.

          Now that he thought of it, sleep seemed so much heavier all of the sudden, and so clear. Strange, is this lucid dreaming, "Lets see." walker stated eagerly. He thought hard of a physical model of his spherical wheel drive system, nothing. Hm, weird, how bout...Just then several different Lego sets appeared on the spot. "Awesome!" Walker spoke aloud. As soon as it came though, it a disappeared. Everything became replaced by a blue haze, it seemed to envelop everything. Before Walker could act, the world seemed to fall around him.

***

          "Come on Septimus! Eat your food." Adriones said, trying to hand his bearded dragon food. No matter what he did Septimus wouldn't eat. "Fine." He flatly stated. "Have fun starvin'." With that he went to bed.

***

          Walker awoke to to a pale blue sky above him. He could just see blades of grass in his peripheral vision. Free a few seconds of lying there, a startling though struck him, "I wasn't here before!" He shot up, only to fall back as he suffered a quick dizzy spell. He tried again, slower this time. He laid his hands on the ground to prop him up...he couldn't feel his fingers, or his hands! Walker took this as an incredibly bad sign and pulled his arm towards his face. What he saw horrified him.

          "My Hands Are Gone!" He shouted. He had to say it several more times before he could process the situation. Turnings his hands, well...nubs, he tried to calm down. Gaining a cool head he analyzed the situation. Something didnt seem right about the stubs, it was as if they healed over completely, scarless in any way. The flat part also seemed heavy. Although this greatly disturbed him he felt he had more important matters. Feelijg the wind in his hair returned to the problem at hand. He moved his arm to push to the ground so he could stand, until his next sight almost made him throw up. When he looked down he saw his legs, both bent grotesquely out of shape...yet, as he moved them, no pain? He flexed his deformed legs, thinking of reasons  this could happen. The worst of all his realizations occurred,"I'm a horse!"

          The world seem to bend around him, so many questions jumped to the front of his mind. It was all too much, he slipped into unconsciousness.

***

          He awoke to the sound of walker screaming and shouting about hands, Adriones then noticed the sky above him, wait...that's not right. The world around around him seemed to rush through all of his senses, he smelled grass, saw trees, a struggling body...Walker! His vision still blurry he rose to run towards the screaming body. Only to fall again, assuming he was off balance he looked down to brace himself. Everything walker was shouting seemed to clear up. "My hands are gone!" He heard him shout. His world seemed to collapse under him, he wasn't human? What was he? Adriones seemed held on to conciousness for one last second, he heard walker shout, "I'm a horse!" And then passed out.

***

         Walker awoke with a start, cold sweat on his brow. He peered in the darkness and realized he was staring at the back ifs couch. Relief flooded his brain, thank god, it was just a dream. Walker tried to go back to sleep but couldn't, something kept itching at the back of his brain, what could it be?  After an hour or so of trying he gave up and just stared at the back of the couch. The sudden realization hit walker like a brick. The back of this couch was brown, Adriones's couch was a much darker brown. Walker was freaking out, he was in someone's home somewhere. How could he miss that! After mentally scolding himself a minute more he heard wood growning in the next room. Walker froze on the couch. In an act of childlike fear he reached for the blanket to pull over his head. He pulled the blanket around his head so he could just see out of a little hole. After several minutes walker relaxed. He'd have t get out of here, now! Walker scanned the room one last time, then, as quietly as possible, he lifted the blanket off and spun his hind legs forward. He tried to bend his legs down, but they couldn't, he tried and tried, but the could only quiver. Frustrated that he couldn't stand he felt for his legs. He then saw that, again, he didnt have hands. "Butt."

***

          Adriones stirred from his slumber, looking towards Septimus for the scource of the din, except that Septimus wasn't there. It took Adriones a few seconds to realize that along with his lizard, most of the room was missing. In fact, all of it had gone missing. Adriones turned to rise but struggled, he couldn't tell why in the darkness. He went to reach for his glasses and found they weren't there, nor were his fingers. He cried out and fell over, creaking the floorboards. Hearing a shuffling of a blanket, Adriones pulled his own almost completely over his head. After a few minutes of silence he then thought it silly that he hid under his blanket. He then turned to a much more serious problem, his hands had been lopped off somehow. He questioned if he had been out for a while as he noticed the skin healed over on the top. He went again to stand, this time knowing his hands had disappeared, and began to stand. The floorboards creaked very quietly and he slowed down lest the creaks grow louder. He was almost at a crouching position when he found that no matter how hard he tried, he'd just get that feeling of trying to bend your ankle forward too far.

          Before he could question further he heard a welcome voice from the other room, "Butt." Surprised by the choice of words he called back to walker, "Dude, you there?"

***

          Why did I rescue them, Why did I rescue them, Why!? What will my friends think? What if they think I'm strange, What if they think I did the right thing though? Questions jostled through her brain like a crowd in a street. All she was doing was minding her business until she came upon two colts. What if they where hurt? What if they were just minding their buisness too?

          She kept mentally scolding herself and then making amends for many more minutes until she heard wood creaking. With a scared whimper she pulled the sheets over her head. She held her breath to hear, the whole house...seemed silent. What if it wasn't? All her questions ended when she heard a voice, "Dude, you there?"