Last Time We Take A Cruise

NOTE IN ROYAL CANTERLOCK: ANYONE WHO PARTICIPATED IN THIS THREAD, PLEASE READ THE SECOND HALF OF THE AUTHOR'S NOTES.

The simulated sun set slowly over the faux Marediterranean horizon, shading the pristine blue waters with hues of orange and red. The sky was ablaze with dimming light as Luna's night began to rise. The Princess Platinum, a massive, elegant ship, the prime transport for anyone that mattered, a juxtaposition of the best of classical architecture and design, and of the latest technologies. It wasn't a place where ponies from all walks of life could be  - no, only the highest up were privileged to be aboard her on her regular course to the beautiful tropical paradise of Gallopagos - not the island, but the pristine world.

Lapping against the sides of the ship were the clear simulated waters of the sea, spraying lazily, spurred on by the gentle breeze that  the ones on the uppermost deck enjoyed, laying down on their recliners as the setting sun and the chilling air mixed to be the most lulling sensation possible. Sighs of contentment and soft clinking of glasses were audible among the ponies laying on the deck.

Below deck, in the large space allotted for the passengers, were a multitude of entertainment choices, truly worthy of their place aboard the grandest aquatic transport there was. There was a massive sports complex where passengers could run around and kick balls freely as they wished to amid the polished and varnished gymnasium. Fields for almost any equine sport imaginable were marked within, except for those that required spaces that simply wouldn't make sense in a ship.

On one side of the ship, inside a large division was an open space, with a set of vents and window screens. The false air from outside, as well as the unnatural light, all played upon the real grass and trees in the space. There one could lazily stroll among the flowers and frolic with the small woodland creatures such as birds, bees, prairie dogs, and more. One could also pick the fruit growing upon the apple, pear, peach and orange trees if one wanted to.

At the back was a grand ballroom, and it was here that majority of the passengers were currently located. It was a night of food and drink, where everyone, not just the ponies, shared in wine, fruit, food and in many other things. The night was one of sanguine hedonism with every single creature wrapped up in their own interests. Some were there for food, some for the music, and many others absorbed abnormal amounts of alcohol to attract attention and those of the opposite sex, possibly for companionship or for sex.

At one side of the room there was a seated griffon, sipping on his drink, observing just about everyone within sight. He seemed to be an antisocial one, but his actions said that he simply was waiting for the opportune moment to act. He sipped some more and continued observing, eventually noticing something that he took to be a cue for him to get up and get acquainted with others. He then aptly stood and walked confidently to the other side of the ballroom and introduced himself to another griffon as Rune.

A brown earth pony was seated near the wall, observing, just as the griffon was, but showing no intention of moving and mingling, or even being interested in such. On his table there were several empty glasses and two unconscious ponies that he simply couldn't be bothered with enough to move. His eyes darted back and forth, and he noticed a couple in the next table kissing furiously. In a calm voice he said, "You think you two could move this somewhere more private? It's making my wine taste bad."

The yellow pegasus and brown unicorn over at the other table abruptly broke apart. "Sorry 'bout that..." The yellow pegasus' eyes fell upon the unconscious ponies. "S'matter? Couldn't handle your drink - hic! - eh? Name's Sunshine..."

"Good to know, Sunshine, now take your kissing session elsewhere." The brown earth pony leaned back and drank some more as the yellow pegasus left with the brown unicorn, and continued his vigil. He noticed that some distance across the ballroom there was a large amount of uniformed ponies and one who was simply different - two - legged, tall, without a coat, and with something different at the end of his forelimbs. They all drank merrily and sang songs in intoxicated glee, except for one who was unsure at leaving his station.

Outside the window, Luna's moon rose. It was a good day.

Darkness. Then suddenly the light. White, searing, painful, cruel light. Like needles stabbing the eye - painful, prickly and painful. And painful, excruciatingly so. Claws struggled to keep it out as utter head - splitting pain spilled out, the free prize at the bottom of every last bottle that was consumed before passing out. The eyes were forced open, and slowly adjusted, still twitching from the pain. They darted from side to side, looking for clues as to what transpired the evening before.

A dead crowd lay on the floor, unmoving. Red liquid spilled from many mouths, creating a scene of terrible violence. The eyes refocused, and the blood was suddenly wine and the bodies were suddenly moving, breathing, alive. Tables were upturned, passengers knocked out, glasses shattered, and drinks spilled. It was a ghastly scene for a hungover mind, and the massive screen flashing on the far side of the wall only made it worse.

"STELLAR COLLISION IMMINENT. PLEASE INPUT COURSE CHANGE."

The griffon named Rune slowly got up, still struggling as gravity's hold tried to keep him glued to the floor. A bit of struggle later and his eyes were level, but his stand was still wobbly as he examined the screen alternately flashing an image of a star, and the menacing words that he'd seen a bit earlier, merely moments ago. Is - is that - does it really say - star crash? Blinking multiple times, he came to terms with his vision's accuracy. He read the message once more and uttered, "This isn't good."

A voice from behind said, rather indifferently, "You think?" Rune turned to a brown earth pony seated behind him, watching him with amusement, then looking at the message. "Like we can do anything about that... Come on, sit down and relax. Name's Lamplight."

"No, no, no, there has to be something - urk!" Rune was interrupted by his stomach suddenly acting as though it were in a quickly rotating container, and he began to sound akin to a baby in a blender. Lamplight simply watched him with little - evident amusement.

"See? I told you to sit down. It's hard enough for us to try and fix something this big hungover, and I will openly ridicule you if you think it's easier with both a hangover and a stomach planning on launching your insides out."

"Well, I do like a challenge - hrrg!"

From the side the yellow pegasus from last night stirred, her voice lightly slurred from residual alcohol, her partner for the night nowhere to be seen. "O - kay... I'm either still dreaming or we're all going to die... I hate warning signs. Hey, griffon guy, anything I can do to help?"

"If you can point me to one of the intercom terminals, I can check for - crew..." said Rune, still fighting with his stomach on whether or not his food belonged inside or outside. Sunshine nodded and walked - or rather, swayed - to a nearby terminal.

"Oh, here's one."

Rune nodded in appreciation and spoke to the other pony simply sitting and watching. "Now, you, Lamplighter, can help, or do something... Just make yourself useful." He stumbled a bit, and Sunshine, a little more balanced, asked, "You want to lean against me for support or what?"

"No, I've got the wall for support," said Rune, stumbling toward the terminal. "Any idea where the crew is?"

Lamplight leaned a bit forward. "First off, my name has no 'er' in it. Second, the crew that's proved just as useful as the rest of the unconscious ponies - they're over there, down the hall, hugging the floor."

"In case you can't tell, I'm not in the right mood right now," replied Rune, putting a claw up to his face as he walked on. "Do something useful, wake them up, or anything, just - just make yourself useful. I'm going to check the bridge."

Sunshine followed him, asking, "What can I do to help?"

The three parted ways for a bit, Rune and Sunshine wobbling to the bridge, and Lamplight walking to the hall, trying to recruit the ship's crew. He found them huddled around a corner, all fully unconscious and one practically drowning in spilled wine. Considering whether he should use force to rouse them from slumber or not, he pulled out a coin and flipped it. He smiled and leaned in close before yelling, "WAKE UP!"

The unconscious crew stirred, most notably the tall creature with two legs. He got on his feet, staggered, looked at Lamplight, then at the notice flashing away on the opposite side of the ship, and cursed under his breath. Staring at the pony staring at him, he introduced himself. "Hi there... I'm Lieutenant Colonel Kan - Zod - hic! What can I do to help?"

"For starters, you can point me to the rest of the crew. Next, you can point us to those that know how to steer this ship. After that, you can write a note that in case we do manage to get out of this mess, crew members are NOT allowed to drink on duty." Lamplight extended a hoof and propped Zod back up from his unbalanced stance.

Considering the situation, Zod thought in silence for a bit, and said, "I might be able to help with steering the - hic - ship. During my training back on Krypton I learned about - hic! - steering ships - even put some of it to use on my tours on a few warships. However, I don't think I can do it on my own... It's been a while and I am hungover."

Lamplight handed Zod a glass of water. "Here. We're going to need you in prime condition. Or would you prefer to stay dizzy?" When Zod opened his mouth to reply, Lamplight said, "No, don't answer that, that was rhetorical; even if you prefer to stay dizzy we're going to force you to shape up."

Draining the glass, Zod said, "Thanks. However, we still need to find a co - captain to aid me in steering the ship, or I might end up doing more harm than good..." Suddenly, the two became aware of a half - drunk voice from the back.

"Sir, I know a bit about the navigation instruments from my time spent on simulations back at home, but it's not really in my job description here..."

"Screw your job description. Zod, there you go, someone who can help, and Rune up the bridge says he knows a bit. If that's not enough, point me to the quarters and I'll be up there in five minutes with someone suitable." Zod pointed a finger towards the right, and Lamplight trotted away.

Zod and the new pony walked to the bridge, not out of leisure but of necessity; their hangovers making quick travel near - impossible. Zod asked, "What kind of experience do you have? I'm going to need you mostly to make sure I don't crash into anything."

"Not so much crashing, sir, but I can land a ship like this - although with severe damage, and I understand most of these controls even when I'm hammered - not that I'm drunk."

"Alright then. We're going to check up on this Rune up on the bridge. Depending on his capabilities, we might not even be needed. What's your name?"

"Just go by Tracer, sir, Guardsman Third Class." Tracer glanced at the flashing screen, and added, "I might be a bit out of the right mind, but I can tell you that we're going to be stuck in the star's gravity well if we don't fix things soon enough.

Meanwhile at the bridge, Rune was rambling, his lips having loosened out of panic. "Y'know, I happen to know a bit about astrophysics - astro means star when you go back to the etymo - ow. I'm giving myself a headache... I think there was a medical facility at deck eleven, just nearby... You think it's possible to overdose on painkillers? Hopefully not..."

Sunshine picked up what he really meant to say and headed to the nearby medical wing. "Deck eleven. Medical wing. Painkillers. Got it. Be right back," she said, flying to the lift, but finding it non - functional. "Oh, come on! Stairs it is then..." she grumbled, changing course to the stairs. She quickly procured the painkillers, took a few for good measure, and headed on back, noticing a rumble as she went. "What was that?"

Rune was back at the bridge as Sunshine returned, handing him the painkillers, which he downed quickly and in an excessive dose. "Thanks... I think I can make sense of these consoles now." As his sight focused, he examined the consoles and noticed a countdown clock, which he dismissed, not wanting even more pressure. In his scrutiny he noticed an alert on one panel. "This isn't good."

Sunshine pricked up, alert at the words. "What? What's not good?" were her words, hoping that it had nothing to do with the rumble back down at the medical wing.

"Something's gone wrong with the left and right maneuvering engines - recently. We only need one side to get back or turn away,  but obviously we can't now, and I have no idea what happened to them... I don't like that. Not one bit."

"I heard some rumbling down at deck eleven. Maybe it has something to do with that? I could go and take a look."

Rune nodded. "If something happens, scream really loud, we'll be sure to hear you," he said, rather dryly, and coming across as sarcastic. Noticing Sunshine's vacant expression, he explained, "That was my blessing by the way, please do go check it out."

"Right. If I don't make it back, please tell Celestia to use a spoon next time." Sunshine flew off to the lower decks to investigate the rumbling, when it happened again. "Hmm... I must be getting close." Going down a bit further, she found a large hole in the wall, its edges blackened with the blasts. "I guess this is where it happened." She landed, and carefully stepped inside the hole.

Zod and Tracer arrived at the deck to see Rune messing around with the consoles. "What's going on?" asked Zod.

"Left and right maneuvering engines are dead, and Sunshine's gone down to check it out," answered Rune, not even looking up at the newcomers.

"Let me take a look." Zod went to a station at the control panel, and tinkered with it for a bit. Suddenly, some of the other systems hummed back to life, indicating Zod's success. "Well... Right side engines are up. Do we need the left back up right now as well?" When Rune didn't respond, he asked again, "Uhh, Rune, is it? Right maneuvering systems are up. Left maneuvering systems seem to be broken beyond what I can handle. Should we get someone to start working on it? By the way, I'm Lieutenant Colonel Kan - Zod, and this is Tracer, Guardsman Third Class."

In acknowledgement Tracer put his head up from his section of humming machinery and gave his own status report. "Uhh... I said this before, sir, but we are dangerously close to getting inside that gravity well."

"We'll get on that the moment inertial brakes are up - you know anything about comm systems? We're going to need those up, inside the ship so we can talk to the others, and also to send out a distress signal to anyone who might be nearby."

"That's actually my station here, sir - Communications Specialist, but this was not in my job description."

"I'll quote that guy earlier - screw the job description and get to it."

"Yes sir."

It was a testament to Tracer's resourcefulness that he was only using odds and ends to work on the intercom system and still got it up and running. A few sparks singed his coat as he pulled his head out and said, "Sir, the intercom is up - anyone can contact the bridge via terminal." The second part of his report rang throughout the ship, and anyone still awake heard his notice. It didn't take long for assorted acknowledging responses to feed back into the bridge.

Zod nodded and called out to the griffon who still was staring at the main system and unmoving. "Rune! Right side engines are working, and the intercom is up, but not the main communication modules - we need someone to get to work on that."

"I could get on it. I watched my plumber install my shower, can't be that different." Rune was most serious - sounding, and everyone had to figure out whether he was serious or not. No progress was made on that until Lamplight trotted in, herding three groggy ponies.

"Zod! Your delivery has arrived - walk straight, dammit! I could hear you guys outside, don't worry, I'll check it out. And you, sir," he said, pointing at Rune, "need to work on your jokes."

Opening up the communication systems as Zod herded the crew to their respective stations, Lamplight put his head inside to inspect for damage. He emerged, choking and slightly blackened, only moments later. Tracer said, still working on what he could fix, "I have a general alert, as well as a detailed report ready. I need a full damage report - the moment that communications are back up, anyone out there who can rescue us needs to know what's the problem with our ship."

Lamplight answered the implied "what's wrong" question. "I see the problem here... It's perfectly fried. Perfectly, I say. It'll be easier to replace the whole thing than to fix it." In irritation, he kicked the console. "Anyone know where the spares for this thing are?"

To make things worse, Sunshine's voice fed into the intercom and out the speakers on the bridge with a piece of particularly distasteful news. Her voice was punctuated by coughing and choking, and even though smell did not permeate through the speaker systems one could practically smell the smoke in the air. "We got a problem - in case you couldn't tell. Part of the engine is blown into pieces, there's a fire two decks up, and deck eight is venting atmosphere in all the wrong places. I hate to say it... but this looks like sabotage."

"Really? What was your first clue? Drugged wine? The bombs - or this emitter here in the communications system?" Lamplight tossed out a small doodad from the console. It was an inconspicuous thing, although a trained eye could tell that it would fry electronics faster than an egg tossed into lava.

Zod ignored the barb for now - there would be time for that later. He also ignored the urge to ask if a certain yellow pegasus was joking with him, and instead asked, "Can you investigate on your own or would you need assistance?"

"I'd rather someone else fix this mess. I'll go find our saboteur." The message fizzled out to the sound of hooves moving away. Zod answered through the whole ship, "Remember, try to get him alive. We need information, but if he wants to die instead of surrender, we can write that off as an unavoidable loss."

Sunshine rolled her eyes at the orders which she already knew before she even received them. She responded an irate "Look, I got this, okay?" However, not long after, a well - placed explosion suddenly happened directly on top of her, sending down chunks of debris, pinning her down. She groaned loudly in pain and tried to get out but the debris proved too powerful a restraint to defeat alone.

"Those painkillers don't work... Alright, bub! What are you up to?" Her questioning was met with no response, but was heard from back at the bridge.

"Actually, there's a secondary communications unit back at the captain's quarters - I think it would do well enough for any ships within range to be able to even help, and with the way the engines look, I think it's our only hope."

Zod turned to Rune for any other diagnostics he might have. He replied flatly, "We need to keep hull integrity up, try not to die, and wait for rescue. Also, I'd recommend keeping an eye on the star - any sudden outburst of stellar activity could fry our communications even worse."

"Okay, so first things first... Lamplight, go and get that secondary system -" Zod was interrupted by the explosion some distance below that remained audible somehow. It didn't take long for Sunshine's voice to come through the perpetually activated intercom, rather weakly. She sounded as though she was in a lot of pain, and Zod immediately changed orders. "Lamplight! I need you to help Sunshine. She seems stuck. Tracer, you're going to be working by yourself for now. I'll send Lamplight back once Sunshine's fine. Someone else needs to get the secondary comm systems. Sunshine! I'm sending Lamplight to help you."

"Yeah, you do that. I'm going hunting." He rushed out of the bridge with what little he always had on him, full speed ahead to the engine bay, Tracer beside him headed to the back - up kit.

The two split paths, Lamplight heading downward, and Tracer heading straight ahead. Tracer paused when he saw orange light, and spoke into one of the numerous communications terminals. "Alright, we're going to need to pass through two decks that are on fire - try not to vent the atmosphere while we're still out!"

Back at the bridge, Rune and Zod were still working on what they could make progress on without the supplies. "Things are getting intense, don't you think?" asked Rune dryly. "Shame they get all the fun."

"I'm impressed you can call this fun," muttered Zod under his breath, directing the rest of the crew to where work needed to be done.

Sunshine was still hopelessly stuck underneath the debris, some of which was, strangely, stone. She struggled and winced more and only ended up getting more hurt. The pile of steel, ceramite and again, weirdly, stone simply shifted and tightened around her body and constricted more and more until she feared she would never get out.

Faint hoofsteps came from above, and as they grew louder and louder she yelled out to her invisible assailant. "Show yourself!" Her yells were met with laughter, and she yelled out some more. "What's so funny? Oi! Come out and show yourself!"

The steps grew louder and louder. She closed her eyes in resignation, knowing that if this saboteur went to such lengths to trap her, she wasn't going to be receiving any mercy. In her head she estimated the distance from the steps. It was shrinking more and more, the sounds growing ever louder. Soon enough they stopped mere inches away from her face, and she waited for the final blow, the last laugh. It never came; instead there was a shuffling at the pile of debris. She opened her eyes and saw the brown earth pony digging away. The weight on her body lessened until she managed to shake part of it off her. Once she was free, Lamplight stretched out a hoof.

"Come on - get up!" With a pull, he got her back on her hooves and carefully started to remove chunks of steel and out of place rock from her wings. "We're going to want you in better shape for when we hunt down that explosive junkie, and you're going to get first kick."

She grinned. "That's just what I wanted to hear. Thanks for the assist." She got to examining her injuries; aside from a bruised wing that grounded her for the immediate future, and a slight limp, she was fine. Bleeding, but fine.

"Okay, now it's personal. He's going down."

"Down? I suggest we hang him by his tail and see what happens... You see where he went?"

"I heard laughing from over there," she said, pointing to a nearby set of stairs. A quick look at the label beside it told her the saboteur's destination. "He's headed to the escape pods."

Sunshine ran after him, and Lamplight ran in a different direction, calling over his shoulder, "I'll go this way - we're going to corner him!" and pausing only to pick up some rope, some jagged rock, and wonder aloud "Why does this ship even have rocks?"

Back on the deck Rune and Zod played the roles of commander, issuing orders to the still slightly tipsy crew members, monitoring the situation with the others outside the bridge, and working unseen miracles that kept paths free of flaming debris and unwanted shrapnel.

"It's hard to believe we're doing this. If you asked me to come up with something intense yesterday, I'd never have guessed something like this." Rune sounded wistful as he pressed a few more buttons and cleared another path. Zod sighed. "I know... It reminds me of my time back at Krypton."

"Sorry to interrupt but we kind of need assistance - bomber's headed to the escape pods." Sunshine's voice cleared out as quickly as it came from the intercom. Rune's reaction was quicker - no sooner than had Sunshine spoken he was already activating the controls.

"Which deck and pod number? I can override their mechanisms, keep them stuck here."

"I don't know, can't you just shut all of them?"

"Will do." Rune went to work and Zod added, "Do not let him escape. Kill him if you have to."

Another message came from Tracer, some distance away. There was a crackling of fire audible as he spoke of his situation. "The fire at deck three blocking my way is way out of control, sir. I think you're going to have to drain the deck atmosphere out."

Rune's right claw moved elsewhere in response, attempting to fix both requests at once. It only took him a few false starts but he managed to do it, and was rewarded by Tracer announcing ten minutes later that he had acquired the backup communications units.

"Great. One thing less off our backs... Now we just have to wait for Lamplight and Sunshine to come back with the bomber."

"And fix the engines and the navigation systems and get this ship off collision course," Rune added dryly.

Sunshine's pursuit had taken her to the escape pods, a little ahead of her companion, where she saw a brown unicorn busily trying to pry a shut pod open. The moment he heard the steps, he chuckled lightly. "I'm impressed. I wouldn't have expected you to be quite so fast. Now if you could just give me a few minutes while I make my grand exit."

"No. Stop right there. You've caused enough trouble." Upon hearing the command, he simply turned and laughed. As she advanced, he held up a trigger. "Ah - ta - ta - ta! Let's not blow this thing up any bigger than it needs to be. You wouldn't dare mess with someone who rigged the bridge to explode, would you?"

"She might not, but I just might. Try me." Lamplight emerged, his hooves finally making a sound as he ended up only a few steps away from the unicorn. He didn't seem to mind being cornered and outnumbered. "I hold the lives of your friends in my hoof right now. Wouldn't want to mess with that, would we?"

Lamplight shrugged, inching a bit closer, and asked Sunshine, "How do you want to go about doing this? I got a few ideas but I'd like your suggestions first."

"Should we call his bluff?"

"It's not a bluff - here, you can press it," interjected the unicorn, shoving the trigger a bit closer into view. He was still hopelessly cornered without so much as an inch of escape route. He seemed to be planning on either a stalemate or an intimidation attempt.

"I've got a better idea... Zod said we'd want him alive for answers, but he didn't say conscious." Without the slightest hint, Lamplight leapt forward and hit the unicorn on the head with the bit of rock he picked up, promptly knocking him out, and catching the trigger before it hit the floor. "My hooves are full, here, take this." He tossed the rope to Sunshine.

"Come on, let's drag him up." He then hit up a nearby intercom terminal.

"Zod! Good news and bad news. Good news is, we're going to be dragging this guy up. We got him. Bad news is, he says there's a bomb on the bridge."

The terminal shut down in a bit of static as the two began to haul their captive upstairs.