Tonight’s the night. And it’s going to happen again. And again. Has to happen. Just as it has happened on many a night before. A pony, or somewhat uncommonly something else sapient, wrapped up in plastic sheeting in my sound proofed basement. Evidence of their crimes surround them as their muffled screams and wide eyes protest the very reality they now find themselves in. Their screams only increase in volume as I take another in a long line of trophies. The scalpel neatly separating the flesh of their cheek, allowing blood to escape the confines of their body. With an eye dropper I collect some of it and put it on a microscope slide.
Impassively I look on as the newest pony, a dark blue pegasus mare with a light blue mane and ice white eyes struggles against her bindings with more fervor than before. It nearly makes me smile. Could she not see that I am not an amatuer? Was my vast experience at this not obvious? I deign to ask. So many have struggled before that it’s become a genuine mystery to me. Do they really believe that they could escape despite all evidence to the contrary?
“Why do you struggle, Sun Ray?”
“Mmmm! Mmmhmm!” Of course, the gag. Guess I’m not as professional as I thought. Then again this is the first time since moving to Ponyville I’ve bothered to speak to a victim. Out of the habit, I guess. Having friends for once has really thrown me off my game.
“I apologize, let me get that for you.” an aura of purple magic envelopes the white and purple ball gag in Sun Ray’s mouth.
“SOMEPONY HELP! TWILIGHT’S GONE MAD! HELP!” The sound of her voice, even without the volume, has grated on my ears since she showed up in the woods. I can’t take it. Before she can further damage my eardrums I use my magic to shut her up and force her to look at me. By the look on her face I can only assume my anger at her outburst is readily apparent.
“I asked you,” I begin through clenched teeth “why you struggled. NOT, for a demonstration. This time you will speak in a normal volume or I will GIVE you, a reason to scream. At which point go ahead and scream. No one will hear you.”
“Why shouldn’t I struggle?! Am I just supposed to lay still while you MURDER ME?!!”
“Because it’s pointless. And yes. Yes you are.”
“You’re a mad mare…”
“I’ve been called worse. You, on the other hoof, are far worse than me.”
“I’ve never killed anypony, Sparkle”
“I never said you did. Do you recognize the stallions in the pictures?" She turned to look, a flicker of recognition passed in her eyes before she visibly stamped it out. “No. Can’t say that I do."
“Again with the pointless actions. I don't understand you ponies. I have you strapped tight. There’s sheeting everywhere, I’m clearly dressed for the occasion, my tools are arranged quite nicely. Everything in this room speaks ‘I’ve done this countless of times before', does it not? And as you can no doubt see, I'm clearly aware of the truth, so why do you bother lying to me?” I guess it finally sinks into her head that there’s no hope as her head falls in shame as she admits it. Finally.
“They’re…. they’re my victims.”
“Victims. What did you do to them. I want to hear you say it.”
“I raped them. I raped them repeatedly.” she looks up at me and into my eyes for the first time since coming to with a new ferocity. “But I had to! They were sick! They needed a mare!”
“Being a colt cuddler is not a disease, Sun Ray. It’s perfectly natural.”
“EIV[1] is natural too! Last time I checked no one was against curing that!”
“You bucking idiot. The gene pool will be cleaner with you gone.”
“HELP! SOMEPONY HELP!” ...and the screaming begins. I sigh. Despite my earlier promise I’d really rather just shut her up. And I’ve got places to be tomorrow so I need to catch up on my sleep. So, without any pomp or circumstance, I shove a butcher knife straight into her heart. I take the time to enjoy the moment as her life fades from her eyes, her mouth stops that infernal screaming, and best of all: the torrent of blood that erupts from her barrel like a geyser when the heart doesn’t stop beating as soon as it ought to. It splatters the plastic covered walls like a Jackson Fetlock painting. It gets on me too and I smile, wishing I could wear it for longer than I know I’ll be able. Relief floods through me as a deep seated need is momentarily sated. If I'm truly lucky I won't feel the need again for maybe two weeks. However, I will feel the need again. There's no stopping it. And when I do I'll have to find another pony who disturbs Celestia's utopia. All a part of The Code of Celestia.
Back when I was a filly under Celestia's tutelage I, apparently, broke into the restricted section of the castle Library. A bit of miscast dark magic nearly blew up the entire wing. Luckily Celestia found me before I got seriously hurt. But not before dark magic took a hold of me. Initially I only killed animals. It started of small. A few rats found in the dungeons, a bird here or there, it wasn't until I killed a cat that Celestia called me into her chambers to have a talk. She had been keeping on eye on me. Either physically, through well trained guards, or with scrying to determine if there had been any lasting damage to me psychologically.
Which, of course, there had been.
"I saw you take that poor feline's life, young Twilight. Tell me, what compelled you to do such a thing?"
"It was making a racket. I couldn't study."
"Poor thing was in heat, Twilight. Couldn't you have just shooed it away?"
"I tried. I did. It wouldn't go away. And I needed to study. What if you gave me a pop quiz and I couldn't study because that stupid bucking cat wouldn't shut up?" The shocked look on her face at my language disappeared as quickly as it came.
"I suppose after watching you kill a cat such language is almost expected now, isn't it? Nevermind that. We'll address it later. As for the cat, remember Twilight. I said I watched you. You have no need to lie to me. I watched as you lured her to you without even partially attempting to make her go away. And you tortured that poor kitty for some time before you snapped its neck."
"I... I.... I just..." I racked my brain for a logical explanation. A reason better than the horrid one I knew was the truth deep down.
"You just, what, Twilight?"
"I just wanted to see it bleed!" I sobbed, alas I could not lie to the sun Princess. Nor, it seemed, could I continue lying to myself. I had become a monster. "Can I be cured?! Please tell me I can get better. I don't want to be killer." Even though I now feared the retribution I was certain was coming from her, I couldn't help but bury my face into her barrel as I sobbed. Hiccuping occasionally. My breath hitched for a moment as she wrapped a hoof around me and shh'd me like a newborn foal.
When I had finally calmed down I backed away from the pony I was sure I would soon be calling my judge. Followed by the grim title of executioner. I couldn't help but feel a small thrill when I for a moment imagined that it was I in that role. But I squashed it as hard as I could, focusing by bloodshot eyes upon Celestia's calm pink ones.
"I'm afraid, little Twilight, that it's only going to get worse. It will slowly progress to full blown psychopathy. This soon after the accident the only real change would be your bloodlust. The rest of your mind will be slower to change. In the next few years your emotions will dwindle to nothing, your sole focus will be on your own survival and obtaining your next victim. Tell me, have you wanted to kill anything bigger than a cat?" I hoped she didn't notice my sudden intake of breath. The desire that I had been keeping bottled rose to the surface faster than a suffocating dolphin. Like I wished for the dolphin I tried to suffocate the desire. To keep it down. But still it seemed I was incapable of lying while within these chambers. So I tried to be silent. As if by not stating the truth I could further deny it.
"Y..yes, Princess." I stammered quietly. Hopeful that she hadn't heard. But of course she heard.
"Anything, in particular?"
"A... a pony."
"Any specific pony?"
"No, just.. just a pony."
"I see. I feared as much. I have bad news for you Twilight. Should you remain unchecked you will likely kill your first pony within the year."
"W-w-what?! No! I can't be-- I don't want to be a murderer. Lock me up, please princess! Please I beg you!" I remember actually begging her. Laying myself flat before her, desperate to be spared that unfortunate title. Even though a part of me was excited at the prospect.
"Twilight. Allow me to finish before we decide upon your fate, hmm?" Reluctantly I nodded, Celestia continued "The spell book that you found contained a darkness that hasn't been seen in Equestria for thousands of years. A darkness that created in ponies an eternal bloodlust. When a pony that carried that darkness dies the darkness finds a new host. Which, unfortunately is the only known way to remove it. This darkness twists the minds of healthy ponies, turning them into a very specific kind of individual, I'm afraid. A serial killer."
The shock of knowing that I would one day be a serial killer of all things if for some reason I wasn't locked up, was quickly overshadowed by my curiosity. I suspect Celestia found that cute if I'm remembering her smile right. "But, if what caused ponies to be serial killers was in that book. Why are there still serial killers out there?"
"This darkness is not the cause of the phenomenon, Twilight. It merely adds to its number. The majority of these killers are mentally ill, either through biological or environmental means. There are many reasons a pony becomes a killer. The question is still at the forefront of the field of psychology. I'm told they're nowhere near an answer for any one solid reason just yet."
"I see." the thing that she said earlier entered my mind once again. "So, if I'm going to be a killer, and there's no helping it. shouldn't I be put in prison now? Or put to death? If you do the last one then you can recapture the darkness thingy, right?" I couldn't help it. Even if I knew it was the right thing to do I couldn't hold back the tears and the shakes. It surprised me that I would fear death. I'm so willing to bring it to others why couldn't I at least be honourable and accept it for myself? I looked up at Celestia. A huge part of me silently begging her to ignore my rational plea. Another part begged her the opposite.
"No. Twilight. I shall not do either." As if being told that I would kill ponies for fun in the very near future wasn't enough of a shock. She had had to say that.
"What do you mean? You said it yourself. 'I will likely kill my first pony within the year.' How are we going to stop that from happening?"
"We're not." Celestia smiled in good humour at my dropped jaw and speechlessness. This couldn't be happening. She would never allow me to do such a thing. "I love you, Twilight. Like my own daughter. I know, I know, you have a mother already but I can't help the bond that's formed between us. Even if you don't reciprocate. Even though you'll soon be unable to anyway, even if you do. I love you very much and it would pain me a great deal to see you dead or imprisoned. But, as always I believe I've come up with a grand compromise. As you've no doubt surmised since you've begun learning at this castle Equestria isn't quite the paradise most make it out to be."
"Blueblood." I pretended to puke and I was rewarded with Celestia's tinkling laugh. That colt had been the bane of my existence.
"He is an example, yes, I'm sure he'll grow up to be a fine young stallion one day. Children often grow far apart from themselves. But no, I'm referring to certain bad apples that I'm sure you've heard about. If not by name then by deed. Rapists, murderers, pedophiles, greedy ponies that would happily allow a child to suffer if it meant another bit in their saddlebags, and of course organized criminals. Our justice system doesn't always work. Sometimes, sometimes ponies need to die. For the good of Equestria. But until now no pony would be capable nor willing. But, Twilight, I believe you can do it. I just need to teach you a few rules. A code if you will.
After that afternoon I spent the next few years learning how to be an efficient killer. How not to get caught. Precisely what kind of ponies would fall on Celestia's approved list. Who had to be killed sooner, rather than later, and who, no matter what, was off limits. This was the smallest list of course. Certain ponies were integral to the functioning of Equestria so I couldn't even investigate them even if I was sure they were guilty of the worst crimes.
I was ecstatic when Celestia put my new friends on that list. As the bearers of the elements of harmony, and Equestria's single greatest defense, they technically could do no wrong. Not that they knew that, of course. It had been my fear during the first month that I knew them that my "service" to the crown would end up with one of them on my table. Now my only fear was that they would find out what I am. The only ponies who knew now were Celestia and Spike.
Spike had walked in on me during my second kill. Luckily Celestia had been there overseeing and comforting me, and laughing at my victim. Something about how he thought he won or something. I don't quite recall. As Rarity would say, I was in the zone. But Spike had been looking for me. He had had a nightmare and wanted to sleep in my bed, not finding me he looked throughout the castle until finding me just as I slit that unicorn's throat. His scream would have brought guards were it not for Celestia's quick thinking. She grabbed him and dragged him fearfully into the room, silencing him with magic while doing so. A few reassurances and an explanation was all it took to calm him down. Since then he's grown up very quickly. And even developed a bit of a macabre and sadistic streak of his own. It's not quite my level, thank Faust. I don't know if I could take that. But we have killed as a pair before. It's a kind of family activity that we partake in that one does not usually associate with the word "family".
When he's not in the mood to kill he usually helps clean up. Mostly by burning the bodies with blue flame. One of two magical flames gifted to him from Celestia to aid me with. Green flames for instant teleportation of objects to any given destination, blue for the super efficient destruction of anything organic.
After a flash of blue from the basement indicated that Sun Ray's body was no more, I took what was left of her, a drop of blood preserved on a slide, and added it to my collection. A small wooden box that held maybe fifty more like it. Sitting out on the open on my dresser. As a scientist it's surprisingly easy to hide something like this. It's been found a few times and the only one to even question it was Rainbow Dash. I gave her a long winded explanation riddled with big words that, if I thought she could understand, I wouldn't have used. The explanation essentially amounted to a brief description of string theory and black hole particle physics. Absolutely nothing to with the slides but I knew Rainbow was too dumb to know that. Not that I'm insulting her, it's just a fact of her nature that these extremely complex explanations would fly over her head. Just as she would not be insulting me if she said I was a slow flyer. It's the truth. I mean, I'd need wings long before I could even attempt to compete. And that's not something that can happen. Well, unless they're butterfly wings made of gossamer but I doubt I'd be called a speed demon with those.
With the slide put away I decided that I ought to get to sleep so that I can get to the picnic with my friends tomorrow. Friends. A concept that still to this day unsettles me. For nearly a decade I was completely emotionless. Soulless. But then that spark happened when those five wonderful mares showed up to aid me in my fight against Nightmare Moon. The joy I felt then overwhelmed even the disappointment I felt at knowing I would not be able to take her life myself. Since then I've been running the whole gamut of emotions, somewhat muted as they were. Fear, of course, being the most frequent, and most virulent of emotions. Namely, fear of discovery as I said before. If they found what I was and still accepted me, I'd be happy with that. But if I know them it's extremely unlikely that they would. If Zecora could give them the creeps I could only imagine how they'd react to the darkness that's taken a passenger seat in my mind.
They would tell Celestia, of course, not that would be too much of a problem, but Celestia would have to save face somehow. Not to mention it would likely bring my nature to the public eye, and I'd be hated, scorned, and every possible kind of assaulted. And finally I'd be put to the death. Dying because my friends hate me. They hate what I am. They fear what I am. That is the worst possible end for me. Worse than if I took up wood chopping or some other mindless labour intensive job on the fringes of society to escape capture.
Tartarus, I don't even need to die. If they told nopony, but hated and feared me, looked at me with disgust whenever I was near, what little heart I have regained would more than break. It would shatter like it was dipped in liquid nitrogen and thrown at a wall at 100km/s.
Now is not the time for fear, for I still have my friends, my friends who'll be likely a little upset if I'm late for our picnic because I overslept. With that happy thought I walk up stairs, dousing torches on my way to bed. I'm not worried about Spike being unable to follow me to our room. He can see in the dark well. But I do worry he's going to try and stay up to read that new comic of his.
"Spike! When you're done in the basement come to bed! We've got an early morning tomorrow!" I yell down to him. To really drive it in I add, "Rarity's going to be there, I doubt she'll find dark circles under your eyes attractive!"
Muffled due to distance and walls I hear his one word response. "Twi~light!" You could hear the blush in his voice.
The next morning I woke early. Well, early for me. With my late night's studying, and the occasional late night not studying, I often don't wake until noon. Sometimes an hour past. Today I woke at eleven. Quite groggy and a touch cranky. Nothing a good cuppa wouldn't cure. I walk by the bathroom on the way to the kitchen. The door is open and Spike is standing on a footstool to look in the mirror, apparently fluffing his spines. "Oh, hey, mornin' Twilight. How do I look?" In what Spike has affectionately and repeatedly referred to as "zombie mode" I nearly unintelligibly tell him that I don't give a shit until I've had my coffee. Either he didn't understand me or chose to ignore me. "I bet I look killer." I give him by best glare, which doesn't faze him in the slightest. (I've made hardened mobsters urinate themselves with that glare and Spike treats it like nothing. Little bastard. He's lucky I love him).
"That joke stopped being funny years ago, Spike."
"I see you still haven't regained a sense of humour, Twilight."
"Oh, I've regained it. Which means I've had it twice more than you buddy boy."
"Whatever, go get some coffee before you eat somepony's brain." I stand there for a moment before I use a foreleg to swing myself back in the direction of the kitchen.
"Will do... Spikey-Wikey."
"H-hey!" Yup. Still hear the blush.
A cup of coffee later and I was ready to take on the day. The picnic supplies we were charged with bringing were packed and ready to go and I couldn't keep a smile off my face. Even now, after all this time, the thought of my friends made me beyond happy. I locked the door behind us and turned, breathing in the early afternoon air. Ponies bustled about, a veritable sea of pastel colors. Mixed in with them was a few flashes of gold. More royal guards. Up from yesterday. A number of ponies had gone missing around here. No, I wasn't responsible for all of them. It's actually kind of hard to get victims that meet my requirements in this town. And I can't keep nabbing visitors, that would draw too much attention. A lot like the attention the town currently has. I was lucky to get Sun Ray last night. She was drunk and lost in Whitetail, no record of her visiting and no one had seen her since Trottingham.
As I walked through town towards the hill we love to picnic on I caught flashes of conversation from the townsponies. Almost all the gossip today was about various missing ponies.
"...I heard little Featherweight is among the missing..."
"...That nasty Gryphon came back to town recently, but Ah haven't seen her in a while, y'reckon she's missin' too?"
"...Anyone see those Faust-forsaken Flim Flams? They owe me 20 bits!"
"...Has anyone seen my husband? He broke his wing and I sent him to the hospital. But the receptionist said he never..."
"...Hey, where's Toe Tapper? He's late for..."
"...I don't know what's goin' on 'round here, but I hope it gets sorted soon. Without Carrot Top here I can't get my quality carrots for my carrot cake!"
"Do carrots actually go in carrot cake?"
"I don't know about others, but they do mine."
"Aren't you more worried about Ms Top than a stupid pastry?"
"Of course, sorry....."
It went on like that for the rest of the walk. Ponies talking about the missing, not the cake talk. I couldn't care less about some stupid cake. But all these missing ponies, with the exception of Toe Tapper, were not my doing. So who was it? Perhaps if I could find out who I could get them on my table. And the guards out of town. If you're wondering what Toe Tapper did, he was using the magic of Heartsong when singing with the Pony Tones to lure young colts backstage. I'd rather not go into what happened later. Suffice it to say he was castrated before he died.
"Twilight! Hey Twilight! Over here Twilight! Over here on the hill!" Pinkie's rambunctious and joyously infectious voice brought me out of my reverie, and a smile to my face. I hasten myself, looking forward to spending time with them.
"Hi Pinkie! Hey girls! How have you all been?"
"Fantastic, darling."
"Ah'm doin' mighty fine, thank you."
"Oh... um.... fine..."
"Awesome as ever, Twi."
"Superific!"
"That's wonderful to hear. So, let's get-"
"LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!" Things are quiet for a moment after that, then, as is often the case, we shrug and pretend she didn't surprise us. It's easier when all she does is shout rather than defy fundamental laws of nature and magic.
"What she said. Only, y'know, picnic 'steada party." So we all sat down on the admittedly clichéd red-white checkered blanket and spoke amicably about all the little things that were going on with our lives. The daisy sandwiches I made were going over well and I couldn't help but smirk at Spike for doubting my cooking abilities. Even if he was too lost staring at Rarity to notice.
When we got to dessert, Pinkie's latest cupcakes, talk finally got around to a subject I've been wanting us to discuss. The missing ponies. And by talk finally getting around, I mean I blurted out the subject change with all the subtlety of a foghorn. Things got pretty silent after that.
"I know it's not proper picnic discussion, exactly, but aren't you girls curious? There doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason to the disappearances. Mares, Stallions, Foals, hay, they're not even all ponies. If I heard right I think Gilda is among the missing." My fiends didn't respond. Each of them trying hard to find something else more interesting than this. I couldn't blame them. Normal ponies tend to be uncomfortable with these things. Hopefully I can engage them in conversation soon, if not I'll drop the subject.
"Rainbow, did you even know Gilda was in town?" Rainbow looked at me, then at her hooves, then back at me. Settling herself she actually decided to respond.
"Yeah, she came by to apologize for her behaviour last time she was here. We hung out for a while, but she ditched me. Said she was gonna get some beer. Never came back." Rainbow scowled "I'm sure there was something more important to take care of."
"Oh, well I'm glad you two were able to reconcile."
"Recon what now?"
"Settle your arguments, Rainbow."
"Egghead."
"Jock."
"You know it!"
"Well, anypony else have any contact with any of the missing before they went, well, missing?"
The chorus of no's and nopes seemed to come a touch quick, but all that meant was that, as far as intel was concerned, this picnic was a failure. But that didn't mean the whole thing had to go down. "Pinkie, do you have any more of those cupcakes?"
"GASP, Do I?"
"You just said the word gasp."
"Do you?"
"Do I?"
"Do you?"
"Do I?"
"Pinkie, we'd love some cupcakes if you have some. Please with a cherry on top?"
"Silly, you don't need to add a cherry. A please is sweet enough. I brought way more than usual this time, come on everypony, chow down!"
I was about to dig into another one of the greatest cupcakes ever made when a letter arrived via dragon flame.
Twilight,
You're services are required. I've brought a guest to your library. She's in the VIP room.
-C
With a sigh I burnt the letter. If only she waited until I needed it. This will feel like a waste. Not a complete waste, it's still really fun to kill ponies, or zebras, or minotaurs, or anything sapient, really. But it's most satisfying when my Twilight Passenger is hungriest. "Sorry girls, I've got to cut this short. The princess has need of me."
"We understand, Twilight. We'll see you tomorrow, okay?" Applejack said, shooing me away with a nod of her head.
"Right. Of course. Tomorrow. See you girls then!"
Twilight and Spike were gone and it was just five mares and a bunny left. For the next half hour they chatted and laughed amongst themselves, enjoying the warm summer air. When it was finally time to go Fluttershy noticed that Twilight had left her picnic basket at the hill. "Oh, I guess Twilight forgot this. I'll just bring it back to her."
"Oh no you don't Flutters. You've got animals to feed. I got this." said Rainbow, all too happy to help two friends at once.
"Rainbow, yer liable to break that basket if ya fly with that the way ya usually do. How about ya let me bring that back. I ain't got nowhere's to be for few hours anyway." piped in Applejack.
"Ladies, about we all go. Gives us an excuse to spend more time with Twilight. Maybe we can convince her to host another slumber party? Hmm? This time without a tree falling through the roof of her... tree."
"Rarity, you had me at 'party'."
"It's a slumber party, dear, I don't it's quite up your-"
"Party. Rarity. It's a party. I'm pretty sure it's right up my.. wherever you were going with that."
"An alley, dear. Alright then girls, let us make haste."
"I don't like hay."
"She said haste, Pinkie, not hay. And how do you not like hay?" asked Applejack incredulously.
"GIRLS!" Everyone turned to look at Rainbow and she continues, "Let's go already."
I wish it didn't take so long to set up a room. I have yet to find a decent magic spell to completely wrap a room in plastic in under ten minutes. And those that take longer usually can't do it as well as hooves can. So it takes a while. And I'm always afraid that my victim will come to before I finish. It's so bothersome having them there while I work. Always with the screaming and begging. It wouldn't be so bad if I could knock them unconscious but I only have so much tranquillizer and I can't use it willy nilly like that. My hooves are too weak and my magic too strong. Killing with magic just feels wrong. Unless I'm using magic to hold a weapon.
Luckily this mare had the decency to wake up once I was finished and was sitting by the table waiting patiently for her to do just that. The look of confusion on her face quickly became that of terror once she realized she was immobile.
"Where am I? What's going on?!"
"Upper Crust, it's nice to meet you." finally she noticed my existence. Were I a proud pony I might take offence to how long that took. And punish her for it. But, thankfully for her, I don't care what anypony outside my small circle of friends and family think of me.
"Who are you?"
"Me? Why, I am your royal executioner. Not entirely sure what you did to piss off my teacher but when she says a pony has to die. That pony dies."
"Oh, Faust! It's you! You're the one behind all the disappearances in Ponyville! I'm going to die! I don't want to die! I'm too rich to die!"
"Correction, I'm behind some of the disappearances in Ponyville. And Canterlot, and Trotingham, and Manehattan, well, the list goes on really."
"I'm gonna die! I'mgonnadieI'mgonnadieI'mgonnadie!!!"
"It's not often people accept their fate so easily. Thank you. Now if you don't mind I need a little..." I hold the scalpel steady and collect my second trophy in as many days. "There we go. That wasn't so bad, now was it?" ....and she's blubbering. Guess I can kiss finding out what she did goodbye. Well, let's see if we can't get her to be a bit more coherent.
Slap. "Hey, what'd you do anyway?" Still blubbering. Punch. "Seriously. What did you do? I can't avoid making your mistake if I don't know what it was."
"I..." oh, she's coming to. "I said that Princess Luna was a pretender to the throne. That she wasn't worthy to stand next to Celestia." Oh, look, the blubbering's back. Well, I don't need to worry about making that mistake. I've had an affinity for the night for some time now.
Now that I know what she did, I know how angry Celestia is with this mare. When Luna became Nightmare Moon a thousand years ago it was because of ponies like Upper Crust. Celestia must not be at all tolerant of this behaviour now that she's finally got her sister back. She's not going to go quickly if I want to make Celestia happy. I hum to myself as I peruse my tools, looking for something heavy and blunt. Ah, that large hammer should do nicely. With a quick and violent swing I bring it down on her knee causing her to scream like a banshee. Music to my ears.
Rarity, Rainbow, Fluttershy, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie had just arrived to the Golden Oaks library and were waiting on an answer from the door they had just knocked on. It took a little while but eventually Spike opened the door.
"Hey girls, Twilight's kinda busy right now. You think maybe you could come back tomorrow?"
"That's okay Spike. We can wait in the lobby for her, there's plenty to read if we get bored." said Pinkie. Rainbow made a face at that but didn't speak up further.
"Um, I don't think-"
"Oh, come now Spikey Wikey, what are we possibly going to do in a library?" Spike, like any other stallion, was weak willed in the face of the object of his affection, and caved pretty much on the spot.
"Okay, okay, just.... don't go into the basement. Come in, come in. She should be done soon. I'm going to let her know you're here."
"Oki doki loki. We'll wait right here Spike." Unfortunately for Spike, he chose the wrong moment to open the basement door and break the soundproofing. Though the secondary soundproofing around the library held fast.
"AAAAAAAHAAAAAA!" followed the shockingly loud sound of metal on flesh. All those present upstairs paled. The mares in fear and worry for their friend, Spike for being found out. A second scream spurned the mares into motion, stampeding their way into the basement and nearly trampling poor Spike to death.
"We're coming Twilight, hold on!" Oh. Buck. Spike you little lovesick mother-.... Now in a rage I hit the mare once more. More violently than I had before. Shattering her right hind leg into an unrecognisable mess of flesh. And now she won't stop screaming. I shove Rarity's ball gag into her mouth, along with some rags I find. I'm about to confront my friends. I don't need that particular backdrop for this.
I sit and look at the bottom of my stairs, all five of my friends look at me, mouths gaping. They must be terrified. I hold on to as much dignity as I can and stop myself from crying. My worst nightmare. I knew it would happen one day. I just didn't think it'd be this soon.
Spike slowly makes his way downstairs and stops behind the others, his head visible above their withers. "Sorry, Twi. I-"
"Shut up Spike. I don't want to talk to you right now." He looks defeated, but returns upstairs. If I get out this that little drake is so grounded.
"Girls." Rarity says, oddly calm. Probably in shock. "Would you mind if I talk to Twilight in private please?"
"Of course Rares. Just, uh, don't hurt her. Also, I want to talk to her in private too."
"Me three."
"Yeah, same here."
"Just, we all promise not to hurt her, right? I want to talk to her to. In private, if that's okay with you, Twilight."
"Oh, of course, sure. Yeah, just... one at a time then? I can handle that." Every pony that wasn't me, Rarity, or Upper Crust left the basement.
"So, Twilight. Do you, do this often?"
"Torture and kill ponies?"
"Yes. That." I sigh, here it goes.
"This basement is soundproofed, right?" I wince at the implication, but nod nonetheless.
"WAAAHAAAHAAA! This is wonderful!" What. "Is that Upper Crust?"
"Yes?"
"Oh, be a dear and hoof me those scissors" dumbfounded, I can only numbly do as she asks. "Oh, Mrs Crust how delightful to see you again. Tell me, what do you think of my hat now?" She wasn't wearing a hat. "What's that? I can't hear you. Speak up Mrs Crust. You need to get that ball.... Ah, I'm glad your getting some use out this darling. Honestly it was meant to be a gag gift, no pun intended. Had I known gifts had such sentimental value for you I would've found something better. But look at this. Using it to gag your victim. Oh this such a wonderful day. Here let me get that out of your mouth. Her mouth freed, she returns to her banshee wail. "Oh, always with the screaming."
Without thinking I immediately respond with "I know right?" Rarity just smiles at me briefly, like an old friend sharing an old joke, before jamming the scissors into Upper Crusts eyes. The screaming, somehow, got worse.
"Let's see this bitch judge fashion blind." I'm overcome with emotion, I can't help it. I need to hug her. And I do.
"I can't tell you how happy I am that you accept me, you even did that with the scissors. That can't have been easy."
"Twilight, honey, did you honestly not understand what I was saying to you?"
"Was acceptance not it?"
"It was more than that. You're a serial killer Twilight. And so am I." No. Way. Never in my wildest dreams. And she's immune from the Code. I don't have to kill her! This really was a wonderful day. I had a friend for life now. No more worries. At least as far as Rarity was concerned. As we hugged each other and basked in this new camaraderie the background wailing of Mrs Crust only added to the atmosphere. "Just, don't tell anyone else? Please?"
"Of course, Rarity."
The moment couldn't last however and Rarity had to make way for Applejack.
"So. This a common occurrence with y'all?" Even though I had Rarity cemented, I still felt the pain of the loss of the other four mares. I couldn't keep doing this. But I owed them all the truth now. So I should plow on until the end. Keep my head high, even though my latest and most gruesome project was directly behind me. No longer screaming, but still whimpering.
"Yes, Applejack. Very common."
"Ah, see. What do you do with the bodies?"
"I uh, I have Spike burn them."
"That's a mighty fine waste thar, Twilight."
"Excuse me?"
"Do you know how many ponies I have to kill to fertilize my Orchard?" I'm beginning to sense a pattern here.
"No?"
"A buck ton. There's a reason some of my orchard does better than the rest and it ain't sunlight that's fer damn sure. Twilight. I promise to help you get out this pickle you got, no, Spike got you into if you promise to let me use your corpses."
"Uh. Deal. Applejack?"
"Yeah, Twi?"
"Are you a serial killer?"
"Ah suppose Ah am. I mean, you kill more than three for that, right?"
"That's how it works, yes."
"Then Ah'm like a super serial killer. Ah've done lost count. Just uh, don't tell nopony, please?"
"Of course, Applejack. I won't tell anypony."
"Oh, thank ya kindly Twilight. By the way, your mare is foaming at the mouth." I look behind and she is indeed, time to end her, I guess. I walk slowly to the bound mare, butcher knife at the ready, when a pink blur shoots by and lops her head off.
"YAY! WE'RE MURDER BUDDIES!" Shouts Pinkie, about as overjoyed as I am stupefied that yet another one of my friends is a killer. I look behind me for Applejack's reaction but she's not to be seen. "It's okay Twilight. I brought her upstairs so she wouldn't see. Wouldn't want her to know there were two of us now would we?" She beams at me while tossing the severed head between her hooves. Somehow, Pinkie. I think Applejack would be happy to know that you're a killer too.
"How many?" I ask.
"How may what?"
"How many have you killed?"
"Oh. I don't know. Never thought to count. That just kinda ruins he whole experience, don't ya think? Hey, what do you make out of your ponies?"
"Make?"
"Yeah. Like, I make dresses, necklaces, and my favourite, CUPCAKES!"
"Cupcakes?"
"Yup. Cupcakes."
"Huh. No wonder those were so delicious. Have I eaten anyone I know?"
"You had some Gilda today. How'd she taste?"
"Y'know, I think Gryphon is one of your best recipes. And you got herbivores to eat meat. That's delightfully barbaric."
"So, what do you make?"
"I don't make anything, the thrill is the kill for me."
"Oh, okay, well to each their own, I guess. Tell me you at least have some kind of trophy?"
"Remember those blood slides on my desk?"
"Yeah? Oh. Cool. Yeah, I remember I wanted steal 'em. Sorry about that, I didn't know what they were."
I hug Pinkie, "It's okay, I know the pull of blood better than anypony. We'll talk later Pinkie. I do believe there are two more ponies I need to speak to."
"Okay, Twilight. Oh this is gonna be so much fun! See ya later alligator! No, not you Gummy get back in there." and with that I was alone in the basement. Only to soon be joined by Rainbow Dash. Something's gotta give, there's no way she's a killer too.
"So. Twilight. You kill ponies?"
"Among other things."
"You know what this means right?"
"Yes. I'm a monster."
"Pshaw, sure, "monster". Whatever. No, what it means egghead is I got SUPER dirt on you."
"I... can't argue that."
"So it's only fair that you get the same on me. Twilight. I have killed maybe, thirty foals in my life time. Certainly at least twenty. To some ponies that might make me a monster. But if it wasn't for me the Pegasus race would be doomed to propagate the genetics of the weakest fliers this planet has ever seen. I'm like, natural selection at work. Because of me, the Pegasi will have a bright future. I'm proud of my achievements, I don't care what other people think. So now you know. You have one friend who shall remain loyal to you. We're both killers after all. You go down, I go down. And vice versa, of course."
"I never, uh, took you for a geneticist, Rainbow."
"It's not difficult Twi. Weak ponies make more weak ponies. Kill before they can do that and it won't be a problem."
"Right, it's been a while since I've looked at genetics so simply. But that does make a kind of sense." I scratch my chin in thought. Pondering my own moral code when comes to killing children. In the end I decide I'd rather join her and kill a foal together than give her up as a friend. Faust, I knew I was far from sane but that's kind of pushing it.
"Well, Rainbow. There's one more pony left I need to talk to."
"Huh? Oh, right, of course. Hey, I know we all said we weren't gonna hurt ya, but I'm still surprised no one's laid a hoof on you yet. I mean, if I wasn't a grade A psycho myself I'd imagine I'd lay into you." I raise an eyebrow at that. Was she threatening me. She must have understood my facial expressions because what she said next was "I'm not saying that I want to or anything, I'm just imagining myself if I were, like, normal. Y'know. Beside ponies of a feather and all that."
"I'm a unicorn"
"Whatever Twilight, you know what I mean." Rainbow turned away from me, heading back upstairs and sending Fluttershy down. I've been dreading this encounter the most. But even if I lose Fluttershy, I still have four friends I can count on. Of course hope is swelling in my chest that I can up that number by one.
I suspect it's not a normal desire to want your friend to be a murderer. But hey, that's my life right now.
"Is she dead?" Fluttershy asks, barely peeking out from her mane to see for herself.
"Yes, she is P- I mean, I decapitated her."
"Oh, well, you should be more Equine, when you kill ponies Twilight. There's no reason to make it last so long." so far something along the lines of what I'd expect from her. But I have to know. Is she like the rest of us?
"How do you do it, Fluttershy?" I ask, I have no idea if she'll even fall for this if she is one us. But couldn't hurt to try.
"Well, usually I put them to sleep with drugs and then bleed them out or suffocate them. Sometimes a knife right to the - MEEP!" She fell for it, she's a killer, just like me. Just like.... all of us.
A manic grin takes over my face. This is the best day of my life. I know I told them all I'd keep their secret. But they have to know. The only reason they want this to be a secret is because they fear their friend's reactions. "Fluttershy, can you bring everyone down stairs please?"
Fluttershy misreads me, somewhat, and doesn't do as I asked. "Please Twilight! Please! You can't tell them! Please!" and she begins to cry. There's only one way to make her feel better. She has to know. And in her current condition she's not going to get the others. Meaning I have to do it.
"Why's Fluttershy crying?"
"She's needlessly afraid and refuses to hear my reassurances. But if you all listen to what I have to say," Fluttershy bawls harder, it's a desperate agonizing bawl and I have to get this band-aid ripped off now before this gets worse. "WE ARE ALL SERIAL KILLERS". The bawling stops as Fluttershy looks at the rest of her friends, confused. They do the same to each other before looking back at me.
"Okay, hold on. No we're not. I mean. There's no way Fluttershy-" Rainbow is cut off by Rarity
"Are you not denying that you're a killer Rainbow?"
"I- well, no. No I'm a killer. I'd rather not go into detail right now if you don't mind."
"Quite. Wouldn't want to get me hot and bothered now, would we?"
"Hehe, no?" Rainbow rubs the backs of her head and blushes at the connotations. "So, is Fluttershy really..."
"Yes, Rainbow. I am."
"But, why? I mean, out of all of us..."
"There is no greater kindness than to end suffering, no matter how minor."
"Uh, Ah don't think-" Applejack is interrupted by Pinkie with a hoof to the mouth, I can't help but think it's a small form of revenge.
"Shut up, Applejack~. You're not gonna ruin this for us. All six of us. Are killers. Do you know how often I dreamed of this? I'm still not certain I'm awake." Pinkie then proceeded to pinch herself, and then smile like the world's most sensitive masochist. "I'm awake..." the laughter that came out of her mouth would have unnerved anypony else. But she was in good company here. "You guys know what this calls for, right?"
"A PARTY!"
"Whoa, what the hay Pinkie! You've been silent for days while you set up this here shindig. What.... y'know what? Nevermind. Even after all that's happened we're still no closer to understanding you." Applejack cooled herself off with the mantra everypony in town had come to learn at some point. 'It's just Pinkie being Pinkie'.
Needless to say this was private affair with only the element bearers and Spike in attendance. Pinkie wore here finest cutie mark dress (made of real cutie marks!), and in the basement there were seven royal guards restrained in various manners. Each suited to a mares personal style. They would be the entertainment for the evening. Luckily for me they were all hugely corrupt so Celestia wouldn't frown upon this night. Rarity and Pinkie got along better than they ever had before as the two most sadistic ponies of the group. Applejack and Fluttershy got along pretty well as the two most boring killers. We didn't mock them for it, everyone has their own style after all. It just wasn't as much fun to talk about their kills. Blunt force trauma for Applejack, painless euthanasia for Fluttershy. Sure, someone could stub a toe and that'd be enough for her to want to end their suffering, but still fairly boring.
Myself and Rainbow hit it off after we had killed a foal together. I only puked once. Apparently that was better than Rainbow's first time. Don't know how to feel about that. Each pair of us slowly intermingled to the library main floor. The music blared a genre I'd not heard of before called "Death Metal". So far I was loving it. The banners that lined the wall looked covered in blood and read "BUCK THE ROYAL GUARD". Not quite what I had in mind, at least not literally. The lights were dim and Rainbow had brought a specialized fog cloud indoors. Thankfully my books were protected from water damage. After the last slumber party I couldn't risk it.
I danced the night away. Poorly of course, but nopony was around to see. So I couldn't care less. I drank, I "headbanged" I discussed varying methods on how to end a life, we compared note on experiences with different species, and that was when Rainbow found out what happened to Gilda.
"Ha. Buck her. You're a loads better friend, hic, Pinkie. And you make a mean cupcake."
"Haha, puns!"
"What, hic, pun?"
"Mean cupcake? Get, hic, it?"
"So, I've got a question for you girls, are any of you behind the recent disappearances?"
"I killed Featherweight" Rainbow admitted nonchalantly, earning a gasp from Fluttershy.
"He was just a foal."
"Yeah, that's kinda my shtick.
"I killed Gilda!"
"We know, Pinkie" the whole room responded in synch.
"Oops, sorry." Pinkie giggled.
"Well, I helped a young stallion with a broken wing." piped in Fluttershy. "His widow is so lonely now though, she's in so much pain..."
"Ah killed Carrot Top. Bitch was tryin' to sell mah carrots, and not her own. Now she helps grow mah carrots."
"What about you, Twilight?" asked Rarity. Putting me on the spotlight.
"Toe Tapper."
"Oh, so that's where he's been. Guess I'll stop looking now. Pony Tones is fairly dead anyway. I have other interests these days. Speaking of, how about we descend upon the main attraction, hmmm?"
"Of course, Rarity. This way, girls. Spike." the seven of us reach the bottom the basement stairs and the lights turn on, revealing seven scared shitless guards, struggling to get out of their miscellaneous bonds. Of course to no avail.
A chorus of "MMMMMM, MMMMM, MMMMMM!" greets our ears.
Seven malkavian grins greet their wide, terrified eyes.
Author's Note
- EIV: Equine Immunodeficiency Virus. Pony version of HIV.
Twilight inspired by "Dexter"
Pinkie inspired by "Cupcakes" ('cause I'm original as fuck)
Rarity inspired by "The Secret Life of Rarity"
Fluttershy not inspired by anyone.
Applejack not inspired by anyone.
Rainbow Dash loosely inspired by Rainbow Factory. (I haven't read that one. And I don't currently intend to)
The entire story came to mind after Inverted Harmony sent me to The Secret Life of Rarity. It wasn't the first time I had a read a story where one of the main six had done something awful or felt that they had done something awful and her friends reactions were a point of fear and worry. I thought "Wouldn't it be funny if they all had the same fear? If, despite being monsters they wouldn't have to suffer a shattered friendship and indeed, maybe make those bonds stronger?"
