Nurse Redheart and the Paper of Pregnancy!

by Jioplip

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Alternate Universe, Comedy, Crossover
Length: 858

One of the mane six is pregnant, and it's up to Nurse Redheart to find out which one!

Nurse Redheart is carrying a stack of folders, containing the test results of the Ponyville annual physical. You guessed it, this particular bunch of folders contain the results of the mane six. She trips and the papers scatter everywhere. As she's gathering them up she notices one of the pieces of paper shows a Positive result for pregnancy. But the paper, for some reason, doesn't have the pony's name on it. -englishwitch.

Written for this prompt, surely nothing can go wrong!

Takes place in the same universe as A Secret Thrice Unconnected, and occurs some time after it's sequel, definitely check out the first one to make sense of this, the sequel is more or less optional, though it helps.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-07-08 17:04:46 UTC

The Ultimate Evil.

It was an average day at Ponyville General Hospital and Psychiatric Clinic, the psych ward was prepped, Pinkie's 'leftovers' were put away in the morgue, and only eight ponies came in with life-threatening injuries.

But for Nurse Redheart, the day was anything but average.

For it was her solemn duty to move the most important stack of paperwork in the building, of course, it was the only stack of paperwork in the building, but that could be blamed mostly on the Hospital's general lack of organization.

However, even had there been many stacks of paperwork, the stack stacked on Redheart's back would still be the most important. Unless of course, she picked up the wrong stack, in which case it wouldn't be. But since it was the only stack of paperwork in the building, there was no reason to fret about that.

The paperwork in question was, of course, the results of the medical checkups of The Elements of Harmony, or rather their bearers, who are the Elements in a way, but at the same time the Elements are physical objects with tangible magical power, so it's not especially straightforward.

But nonetheless, the fates of the test results were in Nurse Redheart's hooves.

Unfortunately, those hooves became entangled in some unremarkable object on the ground, sending the poor pony practically tumbling to the ground, sending the paperwork flying with a huge clatter.

Immediately a clamber of "Should I prep the Psych Ward?" came from beyond every doorway in the hall, as various medical personnel came rushing to find the crazy pony who caused the disturbance.

Nurse Redheart however, was quick to rectify the situation.

"No! Just me! Everything's fine!" she scrambled about on the floor, sliding the papers into her arms in a large mass, "Just go back to what you were doing move along go now I'm fine everything is under control."

Eventually her stream of reassurances was enough t make the other nurses and doctors back away, albeit slowly.

As Nurse Redheart was about to begin the herculeighan task of sorting the test results into their corresponding folder, she noticed a single piece of paper lying on the ground, apparently lying low after escaping her manic grasp.

But Nurse Redheart was not one to have her goals denied her. Swiftly did she rise to the challenge, by standing up, boldly did she approach her quarry, it took six steps total, and grimly did she gaze upon the document, it was rather shocking.

Mostly because it held the results of a pregnancy test. Positive results.

Meaning results that prove that the pony subjected to a given test has the affliction/ailment/abnormal status that the test is searching for, not results that are upbeat in their nature. Positive results for cancer, for example, are typically negative in their nature. Of course, I'm not saying pregnancy is like cancer, in fact the new of somepony being pregnant is usually a happy occurrence, unless of course the pony in question has some medical reason preventing them from carrying to term, because that would just be sad and uncomfortable.

Uh, anyway, moving on.

Nurse Redheart was sent reeling by the news, One of the Elements of Harmony, pregnant?

Her curiosity overwhelmed her professionalism, and before she could stop herself, her eyes were rapidly scanning the page for the name of the soon-to-be mother.

But no name was present.

Silently, she cursed whoever was responsible for such a grievous error, truly this was the worst possible error!

Naturally, there was only one solution, I must investigate the Elements of Harmony, and discover which one is pregnant! yes, she- wait a minute. What?

She's going to spy on six of Equestria's national heroes instead of, I don't know, resolving the clerical error that caused all this?

Fine, whatever, I guess Nurse Redheart is going to embark on an epic quest instead of doing her job like a rational member of society.

Leaving behind a large pile of very important paperwork, Nurse Redheart strode outwards, for justice, for glory, mostly for no reason!

As she left she found herself thinking, Which one of them could it be? Twilight maybe? I'm not even sure if it's possible given her unique physiology. Fluttershy? Doubtful, she can be awkward even around her friends, so I doubt she's seeing anypony. Rarity perhaps? She's rather private, so she could be dating somepony without anypony knowing about it. Pinkie Pie?

She blanched as the thought crossed her mind, Oh Celestia I hope not. Could it be Applejack then? Somehow she doesn't seem the type. So that leaves...

As the thought occurred to her, she looked up and found a certain pretty polychromatic pegasus pony resting on a stray cloud.

Rainbow Dash, she thought, a grin spreading wide on her face, there have been rumours about her and that weird unicorn from last month.

In that moment she decided how to begin her search.

Just you wait Rainbow Dash, soon we'll know the truth.

Had she been slightly less zealous about beginning her investigation, she might have stopped to ask how exactly she was going to find out.