To say that Twilight Sparkle was drunk would be a severe understatement. No, she was drunk as a skunk that was as drunk as an alcoholic Irishman who had caught his wife cheating on him and then snuck into a brewery. Not only that, but she wanted to dance. But not just to any music, no. She wanted to spice up this party, and the Pony Polka just wasn't enough for her to 'get her groove on'. She had just the thing. She had found the record sticking out of a dumpster marked 'to be incinerated', and had brought it home. The song on the record had a great rhythm to it, and she knew it was just what this party needed. It took some effort, but she had managed to convince Pinkie to let her switch the record.
When the record began playing, the librarian barreled into the dance floor and began to shake what her momma gave her. She was the best dancer ever!
At least she thought so. The rest of the party-goers didn't agree. The crowd had formed a wide breadth around her, and stared in terror as Twilight performed what may have been the worst dancing in the history of Equestria. Combined with the nail-on-chalkboard nature of the 'music' she had put on, the result was downright terrifying. Rarity had barely managed to keep from fainting, Pinkie Pie had managed to go cross-eyed at the scene, and Applejack could do little but hold her mouth open. The only pony that wasn't gawking at Twilight was Berry Punch, and that was because she was as drunk, if not more so, than her.
Suddenly, a black form flung itself through the window. The ponies watched in shock as an undisguised changeling buzzed onto the dance floor. Angrily chittering, it pushed Twilight into the crowd with the black disk it held in its mouth. The rest of the party attendees looked on, baffled, as the bug-pony marched to the record player and threw the record in it onto the ground with its magic before smashing it under its hooves. It then gingerly set the disk in its mouth into the player and set the needle.
As the music began playing, a green aura enveloped the light switch and turned it off. A moment later, the changeling began flicking the lights to the beat of the song, as it began to... dance.
Every few seconds, the changeling would change both its form and dance, going from the robot, to the worm, to dances not even Pinkie had seen before. Soon enough, however, the song had ended. Turning the lights back on, the changeling calmly walked out of the front door. Nopony in the bakery was sure what to say, until Twilight, tipsy as she was, broke the dumbfounded silence.
"Was... *hic*. Was my dancing really that bad?"
Author's Note
Dear Princess Celestia,
Today I learned that even changelings have an appreciation for the art of dance.
Your faithful subject,
Rarity Belle
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU SOLD IT?"
Once upon a time, there was an evil empire led by an evil ruler. He controlled all the land from his tower, which layed within an ocean of raw magic beneath the world. He had conquered the dwarves, the elves, and even the humans with his powers.
As usual, Trixie was having a bad day. She spent months tracking down the most powerful magical artifact in Equestria, and years saving up bits to buy it from its owner, only to found that he had already sold it to a museum!
Good had no place in his lands, and the subjects he ruled with an iron fist all loved and feared him. All in all, everything was wonderful.
Now here she was, digging through a stupid pile of rocks to find at the behest of a stupid map she bought from that stupid shopkeeper to find some stupid thing that some stupid unicorn sensed after a stupid earthquake in a stupid canyon. It was probably just some big stupid diamond.
One day, a rock fell from the skies, punching a hole into the world near his castle. He decided to use the opening as an opportunity to add a new tower to his castle, and ordered his underlings to expand it. Not even his wisest and most trusted servant could foresee what would become of this.
Trixie sighed. Well, it wasn't like she had any other ideas. She had put so much time energy into this, she couldn't just walk away empty hoofed.
As she moved another of the boulders out of the way, she was snapped out of her train of thought as she noticed a strangely shaped rock buried underneath.
All of the activity and spells by him and his minions had stirred up the ocean beneath the world, and it roared to life as the barrier between it and the land above weakened. The earth cracked as magic erupted and burned all in its path.
The rock turned out to be some sort of statue, depicting an strange, ugly creature standing on its hind legs. It had a pole coming out its back with a ball hanging from it. But that wasn't what interested Trixie the most. That would be the odd metal object with a yellow gem on the back of it that the statue grasped in its claws.
The ruler foresaw his doom and entrusted the symbol of his rule, passed down from his father before him, to his ancient and cunning adviser. This done, he traveled deep into the underworld in the hopes of using his powers to tame it.
As she reached toward it, the gem glowed and the object began to shift into... A sock with spikes on it? No, it was a gauntlet.
The adviser used an ancient ritual to seal the empire's army and himself in time, clutching the artifact in his hands, in the hopes that one day someone worthy of succeeding his master could bear it and awaken them.
Something inside of her told her that it was important, that she needed it. Levitating it away from the statue, she slipped it onto her hoof and it began glowing with a faint light.
The magical torrent could not be stopped. The world below broke free and flooded the world above in arcane energies that scoured life from the land. Some creatures managed to escape the tide unscathed, but many died, and most were forever changed by the cataclysm. As the world settled, the magic once trapped below soaked the land, infusing it with power, and there were few things left that did not possess some trace of magic.
Walking away from the rocks, she began to look over the gauntlet, seeing how it felt on her. As she clenched her hoof, the gem brightend, and the sound of a horn echoed through her head.
New creatures achieved intelligence and created empires, unaware of what came before them. It seemed that the age of Evil and the world that came before would be forgotten, washed away by the eons.
From behind her, she heard the sound of crumbling stone.
But Evil always finds a way.
Author's Note
Don't tell, show!
Beardbeard Godslayer, god of Dorfs, woke up with no idea where he was.
Granted, this was how he always woke up, seeing as his normal state of consciousness was 'blackout drunk', but he wasn't sure if he was in the same universe.
That is, if he cared enough to know what a universe was.
Which he didn't.
What he did care about was the fact that the moon was round, and not shaped like his best friend's head. It didn't even have a face!
Slowly, he began to remember what he was doing prior to passing out. His friend and former object of worship, Xom, god of chaos, had dared him to rip out and eat a chunk of reality. Now, manipulating the fabric of reality is a Very Bad Idea to do on a dare, it was an even worse idea to do when drunk, even if one was the god of booze. Then again, no one had ever accused Beardbeard of being particularly clever, especially after drinking entire barrels of Xom's mutagenic ale, challenging the god of magic himself to a duel to the death as a mortal using only his mutations and his axe, and then giving said god's powers to Satan of all people.
At this point, the drunken god had gotten sick of all of this boring exposition and had stumbled in a random direction, before coming face to face with his sworn enemy. The leafy fiend was mocking him.
Screaming in rage, he raised his axe and began administer justice to the arboreal menace.
~~~~
Princess Celestia wasn't sure she had heard the messenger correctly.
"Did you say you lost half of the Everfree?"
"Yes, your Highness."
The alicorn of the sun raised a prismatic eyebrow.
"How on Equus do you lose half of a forest‽ The Everfree is enormous!"
"I... I don't know, your Highness. It's... well, yesterday it was here, and now it's just... gone. There isn't a single trace."
Celestia groaned. She had a feeling she was in for a very, very long day
