Princess Luna's hooves touched the ground in front of Fluttershy's Ponyville home. The lunar diarch had been hoping to meet up with the animal-expert mare in hopes of some cat litter recommendations. What? Fluffy's current formula wasn't working out.
She walked up to the ratty ass shack door and tried to gauge how hard she could knock on it with a hoof before splintering the rickety piece of shit into shards. Before she could, though, she felt something tap softly on her leg. She turned around to see a small white bunny.
"Who the fucking hell are you," it said in the native bunny language. Luna had learned the bunny rabbit diction back in high school because she needed 3 foreign language credits to graduate, and she'd heard the Bunny teacher was a really easy grader.
So the little pasty white fucker was sassy, huh? She'd teach him not to mess with her.
"I'm the fucking co-queen of this galaxy, who are you?" she sneered, leaning down in an attempt to get on his level. He looked up once at her before nodding.
"That makes sense, because your ass is outta this world!" Angel said, a shit eating grin on his face.
Was he hitting on her? Oh no. Luna was starting to get a little hot and bothered. This bunny had such... nice ears, and nose, and his tail was really fluffy.
"O-oh, thank you," she stuttered, flustered by the handsome bunny's compliment.
"Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see," Angel Bunny cracked again, his smile growing wider. This was so fucking cool! He couldn't wait to tell his friends tonight that he successfully hit on a Princess!
Luna furrowed her brow, wondering just where in the fucking hell Tennessee was.
"Uhhh, um, thank you, sir." she said. Angel smirked, and then went in for the kill.
"Did you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you're looking magically delicious!" Up in the skies above, the sex gods looked upon Angel Bunny with approval. He was the very bunnyification of a ladies man.
"Marry me!" Luna screamed in euphoria.
Angel Bunny cheered on the inside. Princess Luna had one smoking hot ass, and he'd get to fuck her every night for the rest of his 5-year life span!
"Yes, I'll marry you!" she cried. A simple cat-litter excursion was turning out to be the best day of her entire life.
"Oh, and..." Luna blushed. "I didn't get your name."
"I'm Mr. Right, someone said you were looking for me?" Angel worked another final pickup line into the conversation.
"No, but seriously?"
"Angel. Angel D. Bunny."
Later That Night
"Celestia," Luna started as she entered her older sister's room, "I've got some big news!"
"You broke your 1000-year dry spell?"
"No, you bitch. I'm getting married!"
"Oh! That's wonderful news! When's the wedding?"
Luna and Angel hadn't really thought about that. Luna quickly decided she wanted to be with her true love as soon as possible, though.
"Tomorrow!"
"Great! I'll send out the invitations!"
The Next Day
The castle courtyard looked beautiful. It was a bright, sunny day, and there were flowers and carrots strewn across the ground. The closest friends and family of the happy couple sat in crappy fold-out chairs, faced forward, waiting for the ceremony to begin. On the left side was his dad, Satan, his mom, Perez, his sister, Tiffani, his first grade teacher, Kanye, and all his frat buddies from BU. On the right sat... well, nobody. All Luna's friends were, well, kind of dead. Over a thousand years that tends to happen.
The bridesmaids and groomsmen were situated as well. Over on the groom's side stood all of the Beach Boys and on Luna's was the members of the U.S. Senate.
Angel was standing in his place on the stage, too, waiting for his fiancee to walk down the aisle. He was crying tears of happiness, for he was gonna get to hook up with a big booty hoe tonight. Fucking score.
The organ began to play, and Luna began her journey down the aisle. Angel cried harder. Man, her ass looked slammin' in that dress! Luna was crying, as well, as her hare looked quite dashing in his suit. She reflected over their relationship up to this point, happiness filling her being.
As soon as she reached the top of the aisle, Celestia began the ceremony.
"Um," she said, looking a little bit embarassed, "I have really no fucking clue what I'm supposed to do here. Honestly, I don't think anyone here cares either. Uh. Congrats, guys, you're married! Let's get wasted!" The entire audience broke into raucous applause.
Acknowledged, the happy couple sloppily made out for like, 7 minutes, then started their descent down the aisle, toward the chariot that would bring them to their reception.
Later That Night
"Ooh, Angel baby, I wanna see your dick!"
"Right here, baby."
"But I can't see it!"
"It's right here!" Effectively killing the mood, Angel climbed off Luna and pointed to his..baby carrot.
Luna squinted. "I can't see it!"
"I have a whole 8 millimeters!"
"Angel, honey, I can't see your penis."
"It's right here! I'm as hard as a fucking rock!" Angel said, very visibly agitated.
Luna cried.
One Week Later
"Okay, Princess, I think you're in the clear. The divorce papers have been sent to the State and should be processed shortly."
Author's Note
I wrote this one idk when it's been around for a long time
