My Little Pony: Derping Is Magic!

by Atropicaloctav3

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Tragedy, Alternate Universe, Sad, Romance
Length: 929

What if Derpy had her own spin off.....

In this version of My Little Pony: FIM, Derpy Hooves is the main character, much like Twilight! Join Derpy as she discovers the magic of friendship and …… motherhood?

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-07-06 05:49:05 UTC

Prologue - Stargazer, my child

          Stargazer paced back and forth across her room. What will her mothers say? What was this sudden outbreak of scattered stars and tormented night? Places all over Equestria were sending letters as to why Orion's Belt had swallowed their cottage or why the moon crashed on their barn. Stargazer leaned up against the door,

          "TRIXIE'S HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR THIS! SHE IS SUPPOSED TO BE CONTROLLING THE CONSTELLATIONS!" a voice resembling Flash Sentry yelled. A sigh came  from Princess Twilight Sparkle.

          "Flash you know very well Trixie went missing the day, er- night this all began." her mother's voice was soft and soothing. She whispered something else to somepony, Stargazer couldn't determine who it was. Suddenly, her chamber doors swung open and Princess Luna stood before her.

          "Daughter, what are you doing awake at this hour?" Luna stared at Stargazer with her head cocked.

          " I'm sorry Mommy, it's just I wanted to hear what was happening." Stargazer lowered her head and glanced up at Luna. She sighed and mumbled under her breath, what am I going to do with you Stargazer. The princess tucked her daughter back into her bed and kissed her goodnight again blowing out her oil candle. As she closed the door, Stargazer had an epiphany looking up at the moon. She sprang to her and burst through the doors.

          " NIGHTMARE MOON!!" She screamed across the room. Everyone looked confused except Princess Luna who looked disappointed as well as embarrassed.

          "She must be like an angry spirit, channeling and, and  harnessing anger then consuming the soul of- of-"

           " It's a good theory," Twilight began," But you really should listen to your mothers and go back to bed. Tomorrow morning you will stay with your Aunt Celes-" a letter appeared in front of her muzzle. She unraveled it and contently read each letter. Tears swelled in her eyes.

          " Celestia is dead."

           Shock filled the room, eyes burst into tears. Screams of horror broke free and total chaos broke free. The moon was once again falling, but this time at an uncontrollable speed. Miniaturizing itself in size but apparently not in weight. Luna panicked , swooping up her bride and daughter with a simple levitation spell and carrying them far from the castle. She put them down and found parchment and writing utilities aside the fountain. she quickly wrote a letter and sent it looking terrifyingly at presumably the only family she had left. With no time at all a letter returned along with a hot air balloon in the distance.

          "I am sending you with a close friend of mine. She will care for you in Ponyville, while I stop whatever the hell is happening here. Her name is Derpy Hooves, she was and is the mail carrier." Luna was very serious and clear with her words, not a trace of emotion left her mouth, well not until she broke down into tears. A war had begun in Canterlot, a war with her element. The hot air balloon landed with Shining Armor inside. There was no time for goodbyes and hellos. Stargazer cried and waved goodbye to her mother as the lifted off the ground. Many hours later they arrived. Stargazer stepped out and looked back at her mom.

          " Well aren't you coming?" She asked confusingly.

          " No. I cannot  my daughter, there is too much pain here. I will go back to the Crystal Empire and stay with Princess Cadance. I love you my dearest." The balloon lifted off again. Stargazer ran by its side, trying to lift off into the air but failing. Then before she knew it she knocked into the side of a house, unconscious. A half hour or so later, Derpy found her and took her back to her house in Cloudsdale. As she treated her head wound, another letter arrived stating:

Dearest Equestrian citizen Derpy "Ditzy Doo" Hooves,

We regret to inform you that Princess Luna and Princess Twilight Sparkle have been taken hostage by the dreaded Nightmare Moon. Please do not inform Princess Stargazer of this until the situation is settled. She will remain safe there until then.

sincerely,

Royal Guard Prince Shining Armor

Derpy looked back at the filly. A tear rolled down her cheek,

"I just don't know what went wrong."

Chapter 1: Meet the Ponies

          " Wait so you gave birth to an alicorn? That's pretty f'd up if you ask me."

          " Vinyl!? Must you be so vulgar?"

          " Octavia be quiet you're gonna wake her up!"

          " Says you Lyra!" Bon Bon snorted. Lyra rolled her eyes.

          " Girls she's not my actual daughter, she's the princess's daughter." Derpy stood proud. They all dropped their jaw. Derpy taking care of royalty? Somewhere it didn't fit in.

          " Woah, that is awesome. Anywho gtg girls, meeting up with Neon in like ten minutes. See you at the house Octavia!" Vinyl trotted out of the mail office where Stargazer was napping, again. Bon Bon looked around the room.

          " Octavia may I speak with you?" she said. Octavia looked surprised.

          "Okaayy........" The two walked outside.

          " Still didn't tell her, huh?" Bon Bon laughed. Octavia blushed.

          " I just couldn't find the right time. Why does it seem like her and Neon are getting pretty serious?"

          " I wouldn't be surprised if he was clopping to her albums." Bon Bon laughed, but quickly stopped and looked at her friend. She had saddened her.

          "C'mon Tavi lets get you some candy." She smiled. Octavia nodded and followed after.