The Plushie Replacement

by Rebel_Zebra

Rating: teen
Tags: Queen Chrysalis, Random, Princess Celestia, Human, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Comedy
Length: 12980

a workaholic of a pegasister recieves a wonderful gift for her birthday but problems become blindingly apparent when she wakes up the next morning.

Inspired by Well Dressed Ninja's My Little Pony: Friendship is Miniature, this focuses more on a single pony of incredibly reduced stature and how a human deals with hilarity and headaches that ensue from a princess discovering the show and its fanbase from Lullaby for a Princess to Molestia as she tries to find her way home. Of course, that doesn't mean she is free from all the horrors and comedic obscenities it holds.

Published 2013-07-20 01:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-09-17 01:53:56 UTC

Bad Day, Better Night.

"I hate you door. You're a total jerk you know that?" The shadow wrapped woman rammed a shoulder onto the door and it opened with a loud protest before she had to slam it behind her to close it properly. There was a snort nearby, followed by some falling cans and she turned to see her mother passed out on the couch with a few empty beer cans. She was barely visible in the many rays of moon light let in by blinds that seriously needed to be replaced. But all her money was always sunk into the bills she needed to pay and other necessary utilities like gas and food.

Her mother was not a great parent by any means. Years of neglect and alcoholic fueled lethargy had killed whatever true love was between the two but still she stuck around to take care of the one who had birthed her.

With a sigh she let her hair out of its ponytail and hung up her Starbucks hat and apron before she trudged to her mother's unconscious and inebriated form. A long day at work dealing with fussy, OCD customers deserved a long day of sleep but first she had to take care of her mother.

She patted her shoulder softly and shook her. "Come on, let's get you to your- oh wonderful, vomit." A whiff that passed by her nose said otherwise fortunately. "Oh thank god just spilled beer." She shook her mother again before she caved and just picked her up. "It is incredible how you maintain such a light weight with your diet of booze and lucky charms followed by near constant sleep."

She nearly tripped transporting her mother to her bed but just managed to save herself at the expense of the other woman slamming into the floor. It didn't even phase the sleeping drunk.

"Screw it, stay here. I have to clean up the house that you undoubtedly dirtied." There was no venom behind her words or even pity, just tired acceptance. She left the inebriated woman on the floor after she pulled a blanket from the bed that wasn't even a foot away to drape it over her.

The house soon came alive with serious reluctance as the barista worked hard at cleaning the many messes that were numerous but thankfully light. However she did not finish until well after four in the morning and in her sleep deprived state nearly threw away something of value.

She looked curiously at it for a moment before her sluggish thoughts connected the child friendly puzzle pieces together.

"Oh.... It’s a present." She face palmed hard and mentally berated herself for forgetting that today was her birthday, before she finally got to opening it in a rustle of ripped paper and rubbing cardboard. She dug inside the small box and pulled out a plushie with a squeal. It was Flufflepuff, her favorite pony! She loved the raspberry blowing pony and all her incredibly odd quirks. Who got this for her? She looked into the box but didn't find any card, just a note written on the actual box.

"I know it’s a little odd to leave this at your place before the actual date but shut up and know that I love you, happy birthday Lenore.

-Kevin"

She scoffed in minor annoyance and reflexively replied. "It’s Lenny."

Despite this she still smiled and threw away the garbage with her newest gift in hand.
Cuddled around her new plush she just managed to fall asleep before the clock hit six.

~Elsewhere~

Nela face pawed hard at the sight of her griffin companion strung upside down from the rope tied tightly around his ankle. They were in the Obsidian Flats, a place not for the light of heart or flat footed. But like any place of mystery and danger, rumors and such were abound with the riches hidden in the tainted and scarred land on the world of Metallos; and she had to be stuck with the assassin who couldn't spot traps.

"What? Are you just gonna look disappointed or are you gonna help?"

The massive black diamond dog shook her head and walked off without sparing him a glance. Such whelps who were danger-blind did not get the honor of words from her.

A refined and slightly obnoxious voice spoke up from behind her, "Now now Judicator, play nice. They are our comrades after all."

Nela had to grit her teeth to keep from growling but could not keep the anger out of her voice. "Alpha, if only Pack had gone on this..." She struggled to find the right words in a tongue she was still learning. "Quest-assignment alone, it would have been resting in tavern with gold tight in paw and large sausage in mouth!" She turned to face the speaker, A strong noble unicorn with a shimmering white coat under steel lorica and golden mane combed stylishly to the side.

The griffin couldn't suppress his snickers as he lightly swung from side to side and hung upside down. "Yeah I always thought you needed such... 'Activities' to stop being such a bi-"

"Za'Kig!" The unicorn glared the griffon into silence before continuing. "Such behavior is unbecoming of any respectable griffon let alone a member of the Lunar Clan! Our guild has worked hard to gain the honorable reputation we have today and I will not allow it to be tarnished through misconduct."

A pink unicorn with a silver bedhead mane revealed herself from an outcropping of rock, most of her form hidden behind her priestly robes that clinked ever so slightly. "Do you always have to think of the guild first?"

"Yes Kaona, someone in our motley crew must and I find it fitting that it should be me, seeing I'm the senior member and leader."

"Self-appointed!"

"Irrelevant!"

Kaona cleared her throat to get their attention. "Wanna be bad boy and lord comb over, I hate to interrupt this little-" she waved a hoof at the quarreling duo, "bonding session but I believe it best if we find who laid this trap. After all it was made to subdue and not kill from the distinct lack of corpses about."

~~~

"Perception rolls will now commence." Luna clopped her hooves in excitement at how well this game was going. It was not her first time as Game Master but she was controlling the first quest of two newcomers instead of just the usual pair of royalty.

"Lord Combover?" Blueblood raised an eyebrow with moderate annoyance.

Cadence giggled. "Sorry, just teasing you Blueblood."

The prince rolled his eyes, a ghost of a smile on his lips. "Yes, yes apology accepted."

"Well I for one am not a wannabe. I'm a bonified bad boy thank you very much." Shining Armor crossed his arms in mock offence.

"Ah yes and that is why you are the captain of the royal guard?" She leaned on the table to give him an 'oh really?' look.

"Yup, it's Captain Bad-boy to you princess." He stuck out his tongue before they both laughed. A quiet throat clearing by Luna got things back on track. "Oh yeah sorry Luna, I just never figured I’d have so much fun with a simple board game."

Luna smiled widely. "Yes we-I was enthralled by this when sister had shown it to me but she has been playing this ever since it was first created. The maker of Forge World is truly a creative brony."

Celestia nodded in agreement not catching the verbal mistake unlike Shining Armor.

"A what now?"

"My apologies, a simple slip of the tongue, pony. Now, let’s see who goes first...?" The princess of the night glanced at the four ponies in front of her before checking their character sheets.

"Wait hold on, can I use my turn to cut myself down since somepony wasn't nice enough to help me out."

"Sorry Shining but Nela listens to those who have strength of mind or body and Za'Kig hasnt impressed her in either aspect. Unlike Lord Swift Sword." Celestia smirked and took a sip of her tea while Blueblood puffed out his chest a little arrogantly.

"Ah yes you may, I had forgotten that you were... indisposed of." She grinned evilly before continuing. "Now sister since you have the highest perception modifier you may go first."

However Celestia made no move to do so, her voilet eyes stared out the open balcony door with her thoughts elsewhere.

"Tia?" The lunar princess waved a hoof in front of her face.

She blinked quickly, snapped out of her revery and grinned. "Oh yes sorry but could we continue this another time? I'm beginning to fear I grow tired and I grow as cranky as any other without sleep." She began to yawn as if to drive the point home.

"Oh of course, we shall reconvene in two nights."
Shining shook his head. "Sorry but that’s no good for us, I'm taking Cadence out for a romantic evening but I'm free after."

"Is that night free for both of you as well?"

Her head turned toward Blueblood and Celestia who nodded in turn but Blueblood spoke up. "I will need to shift a few things around but I'll manage. I bid you both good night." With that Blueblood left without so much as a backward glance.

When the door closed Shining laughed softly. "I never thought I would live to see the day he would actually become tolerable."

Luna gathered the pieces and other accessories to their game with a simple flick of her horn. "We, I mean, I agree. While I would still wish to avoid him outside the realm of Metallos this does give me incentive to do otherwise." In her giddiness from a good game and the meshing of characters she had slipped back into her old ways of speech for a moment. "And we applaud thee Cadance for thy insult, twas most humorous! I mean... Oh you understand." She rolled her eyes with a smile. "I also find it amusing that you choose to be a changeling of all things."

The princess of love shrugged with a sheepish smile. "I may have developed a small fascination of them."

Shining grimaced a little. "Let’s keep them at a distance for a while longer. Still trying to get over the whole-" His eyes swirled as he made a screw motion with his hooves. "Mind control bit."

Celestia tried to suppress another yawn and Cadance caught it. "Oh sorry Celly, we will get out of your mane now. Have a good night's rest!" With a quick hug to both of them which were returned and a nod goodbye from Shining they left the royal sisters alone in Celestia's chambers.

Luna had just finished packing up the game pieces when she spoke to her sister. "Long day at court Tia? Come let me brush your mane." She jumped up onto the bed and patted the spot next to her as a brush levitated toward the lunar Princess.

Celestia took one last sip of her tea before answering both the summons and question. "My mane doesn't need to be brushed like others, you know this. And yes, unfortunately."

"And here I thought you were just getting lazy." Luna laughed softly as her big sister climbed into the bed and laid her head down on the smaller alicorn's lap. She removed their royal adornments with small burst of magic and began to take care of her sister's mane.

She brushed with slow practiced movements and did it by hoof, something Celestia always enjoyed. The personal touch was nice and warm compared to the respectful distance many kept because of their royal status. The guards didnt help either.

They were wrapped in companionable silence broken only by the quiet brush strokes through a celestial mane. Celestia had missed this a greater deal than she had first thought with each stroke almost bringing therapeutic waves of relaxation across her body. When was the last time she had just laid down and take care of her for a change? Well at least without the crown on her head as an unspoken and slightly intimidating incentive. Or the many ponies she had to care of in return because of said crown.

"Tia?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you so much."

"And I you Luna."

Luna kept brushing well after her sister had fallen asleep but had to leave to attend to her own duties as Princess. With a kiss on her ivory horn Luna bade all nightmares elsewhere and left Celestia to her peaceful dreams.

~~~

It was very dark and very warm but she felt incredibly well rested. The combination of all three weren't common when Celestia awoke each morning but it was a nice change of pace. So was the warm draft and pillow. Almost felt like another pony.

"Luna that you?" She yawned softly and raised her head to look around. She saw nothing. "You needn't make it so dark sis....ter?" As she spoke she let her horn flare to life to shed some light but her sight was greeted by something soft and pink. It definitely wasn’t Princess Cadance.

A strong gust of warm breath hit her just before the massive creature's hand got a hold of her and lifted her up. Celestia was too shocked to do anything but stare as its other grasper came up and began to poke and prod her stomach roughly. She was snapped out of her surprise and struggled but its finger elicited giggles out of her, her horn flashing brighter as a result and the creature grumbled.

Finally it stopped its tickle torture and a large honey brown eye opened and met Celestia's violets. "Would you kindly put me down? I prefer flying with only the aid of my wings."

~~~

Lenny slowly set Celestia down onto her hooves, not quite sure what to think. But she did know what to complain about.

"Why did I have to snap and start hallucinating on my day off?"

Author's Note

The game they are playing is Forge World which is an actually thing and amazing. Its created by zelkova48 go over and check his story out! This all done on colornotes with my phone so please let me know if you see anything wrong grammatically with it and I well do my best to fix it. All comments are welcome.

The Princess and The Giant

The giant stared at Celestia before mumbling under its breath about sleep deprivation and hallucination. Celestia cleared her throat to regain its fading attention. "Excuse me, I do not mean to-" the soft surface the white alicorn stood upon bounced lightly as the massive creature shifted and rolled around with its back to the Princess.

"Very well then, but I will have my answers soon enough." She trudged through the uneven but soft terrain with the heavy cloth constantly weighing her down from above until she finally broke through it all and into the light of her beloved sun. The Princess wasn't under its direct rays but they still lit up the cavernous area she was in.

There were adornments all along the wall written in earth pony script. They all seemed to promote something odd like 'The Horde Needs You!' or a man with a blue box. Ah Posters, of course, this must be what constitutes as this giant's room. It seemed quite tidy for a place that was heavily tailored for what she assumed was the beast's taste in whatever they were advocating. At least except for the desk with all sorts of papers on it and some sort of black contraption.

Celestia broke off from her observations when the giant mumbled incoherently and returned her thoughts to the situation at hand. She had to find out why she was here and if this creature had anything to do with it. She half galloped half trotted up the nearby pillow and launched off of it to glide onto what she believed was the shoulder and cleared her throat. It didn't so much as twitch in response.

"Excuse me, Sir Giant?"

Nothing.

"I'm sorry to bother but-"

"Shut up I'm sleeping, I'll deal with my hallucinations later."

Celestia was taken aback for a moment, not expecting such a response after years of respect and formality from her subjects. Her jaw tensed slightly as she spoke but kept the annoyance out of her voice. "I apologize but there are some questions I need answers to."

The creature showed no more responses to her verbal communication so Celestia thought that more drastic actions might be needed. She navigated the slope of the covers and used the occasional slack in them to her advantage until she promptly hopped off to land in front of the sleeping giant's face. It was lightly covered by a black mane and moved with each deep breath.

Celestia moved aside the mane to look upon the giant's face fully. It was much different from a pony's with its flat face, small nose and thin lips. It also had a scar on its jaw line, too small to be from actual battle but one couldn't be too sure with its jagged end. She cleared her throat once again. "I'm giving you one last chance." Its well defined brows came together in what the alicorn perceived as annoyance. "Good, I'm getting through. Gia-"

Her pegasus reflexes kicked in just as her mind registered her unscheduled flight. Her earth pony strength absorbed the shock her hooves took when she couldn't stop herself from slamming into the wall. She launched back off from it and reigned in her sudden fury. This creature obviously did not want to speak and she could understand. After all, despite being the living embodiment of the sun did not automatically make her a morning pony either.

She called upon her magic and teleported back upon the shoulder of the beast. She was hit with a sudden headache but forced herself past it; there were more important matters to deal with than her hampered magic.

She cast a critical eye over the head of the giant before jumping onto it with little care for decorum after her own harsh treatment. Celestia brushed aside the thick mane until she found what she was looking for. She took in a deep breath before speaking with such volume that would have made Luna proud.

"AWAKEN GIANT, WE DEMAND AN AUDIENCE WITH YOU!"

"GAAHHH WHAT THA HELL!?" Celestia jumped off its head just as it sat up, enraged at its rude awakening. "I swear to god I better have something planned today."

Celestia waved a hoof to grab the massive creature's attention. The irate being glared at the alicorn and Celestia spoke. "Now that I-"

"Shut up, we can sit down and chat after I get ready for a day I wanted to sleep away." With that rather rough blow off the giant got up from bed and stretched while she let out a loud yawn.

Celestia gritted her teeth in frustration for a brief moment and mentally screamed at the ornery creature but showed a mask of composure to it. She followed behind it on her wings as it walked through the halls of its home and finally entered a smaller place that was obviously the lavatory. She landed on the sink rim and watched the giant remove it's baggy second skin- oh Faust those are clothes! She quickly diverted her eyes in embarrassment and heard the water start to run. The giant was most definitely female.

"You're surprisingly modest for a figment of my imagination."

The voice made her jump lightly. "I'm sorry what?" She didn't dare turn around but the giant didn't answer back. She held up a wing to filter her vision as she turned around but slowly parted one with a hoof. She let out a sigh of relief upon not seeing the naked giant and instead a shower stall of fogged glass blurring her sight of the female.

It took about the same account of time Celestia allowed herself in the shower for the creature to come out and fortunately the alicorn was already turned away. There was some rustling behind her and soon enough it grabbed for a small white brush and a tube before applying the paste to the brush. Celestia saw that it was fully clothed and relaxed. With a little water running over it, she began to brush her teeth. It seemed to take a few tries for the giantess to get it into her mouth and used sloth-slow movements as her head seemed to have trouble staying up.

Celestia jumped out of the way just as a hand flew straight to the spot where she once was with a slap. The female coughed and wretched until the toothbrush feel into the sink with a loud clatter.

"Oh gods, I hate the morning." Celestia remained quiet as the sink was turned on and she washed the brush before reapplying the toothpaste. "Only I would be the lucky person to have death by toothbrush on my autopsy report. Hey, did you hear about what happened to Lenny? Apparently she was getting ready for a night out in the town but put a little too much gusto into brushing her teeth and choked on her toothbrush. I mean I know it's good hygiene and all but damn!" This time around she was much more careful but faster as well.

She rinsed and spat out the last of the toothpaste before leaving the bathroom in what Celestia assumed was its day clothes. They showed a fair amount of skin but its private areas were covered so she had no need to avert her eyes. Finally the giantess settled down at a table that suited its size and fiddled with some sort of device. Celestia landed close by and cleared her throat again to get its attention. With all this throat clearing she was surprised she didn't need to do something very unrefined.

The giantess sighed heavily but didn't spare the alicorn of the day a glance. "What?"

The many centuries of ruling gave her great patience for insults big and small, especially when one wanted to rule peacefully. "First and foremost I am Princess Celestia, one of the twin rulers of Equestria. May I have your name Giant?"

The female simply grunted.

~~~~~~

I really don't want to be up right now, but noooo, insanity waits for no one if the Marker was anything to learn from. I wonder if-

"-your name Giant?"

Why couldn't I just have delusions of grandeur instead of schizophrenia or whatever? Did I even have anything planned today?

Lenny went through her phone and saw no new texts aside from the few happy birthdays she received. Nothing in her calendar either.

"Excuse me Giant, May I have your name?" The voice was getting annoying.

Lenny finally turned her head to look to the speaker. "So much for ignoring the problem." She glared at the supposedly fictional character in front of her. "Why are you here?" Yes this definitely looked like Celestia from the show, well as much as a two dimensional character could in three dimensional flesh and fur. But where was her crown and and all that other crap?

Celestia's jaw tightened almost imperceptibly. "I was hoping you could answer that."

She huffed and ran a hand through her damp hair. "Okay, I've gone insane and my brain is being an ass and making me see you instead of Flufflepuff."

"Who is- Oh nevermind. Why do you believe you have gone insane?"

"What do you mean why? Because you're not real. I mean this is pretty much every brony's dream to have a character come to life and actually interact with but one, no offense you're not my favorite. And second, I really l don't wasn't to get locked up in an asylum for seeing cute little ponies."

"I'm not some fictional being, I do truly exist I can assure you."

Lenny just rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to her phone hoping to just ignore whatever her hallucination really was. Oh hey Pacific Rim is out, maybe I can- HOLY GEEZUS MY FINGER! "What the hell! Why did you do that?" A little golden spark had leapt from Celestia’s horn to zap her finger and leave a small singe mark. She shook her hand fast as if that would force the pain out of her finger.

"Hallucinations can't inflict pain on their creator. Well physically at least. Now do you believe me?"

"Yes fine you get the benefit of the doubt, but I've seen fight club okay?"

This did not seem to please Celestia. "Fine, as long as you acknowledge me we can actually begin to talk. You never did tell me your name."

"It’s Lenny." Damn it, there's no chance of ignoring the problem away now.

"Thank you, it is very nice to meet you Lenny. Now why was it so hard to believe I was real?"

"I said- you know what let me just show you." Lenny stuck her phone into her bra since there was plenty of room and held out her hand to Celestia. "Get on."

Celestia hesitated momentarily before climbing aboard. "Where are you taking me?"

Lenny let out a yawn before she answered. "My room. The internet is your friend." She carried Celestia with her fingers slightly curled to keep her from falling. It turned out to be a needed precaution when she nearly ran out into her mother.

She was a woman who wore her years heavily, face wrinkled, eyes glossed over and dark hair matted yet somehow thinning. Everything Lenny was afraid she would turn into if she turned to the drink as heavily as her mother did. She tried to get around the old woman but her arm was grabbed softly. "It's all in the fridge Meredith." The hand let go and she walked away from the woman who gave birth to her.

Finally she was in her room, her sanctuary of sorts and lowered her hand to the disorganized desk.

Celestia disembarked as gracefully as one would expect from any member of ruling nobility but she was looking at Lenny with concern. "I don't mean to pry but-"

"Let's leave it at the assumption that we don't get along." She shook her head softly and began to clear away all the papers she brought from work that just sat on the desk. "I swear sometimes I think assistant manager is just a glorified intern." Lenny plopped down onto the rolling chair and booted up her laptop after she finished moving the papers around. With a yawn she dug out her phone out of her bra and tossed it onto the desk in a loud clatter.

Celestia was still giving her a worried look.

"You can resort to puppy eyes if you want, I still won't tell you jack shit."

Celestia's brows came together in mild annoyance. "Must you use such.... coarse language?"

Lenny laughed softly. "Oh yeah that's right. I forgot you’re a princess and all that crap in Equestria. Not used to people swearing in your vicinity are you?" Her computer did its little musical number as it finished its startup sequences and her attention was divided for a moment as she logged into the laptop.

"Admittedly, no I am not."

"Well Princess, hate to break it to you but I'm not going to filter myself for your sake. You may be a ruler and all that where you come from but I pay attention to the person not the position."

"I'm strangely relieved to hear that."

Lenny glanced at the miniature diarch with an arched brow but didn't press the issue. She went straight to YouTube and clicked on the first MLP episode she came across.

Lenny relaxed and put her slender legs up on the desk. "If it looks like I'm asleep it's only because I am, so don't wake me up."

"But what if I have more questions?" Celestia couldn't look away from the intro that showed so many things of her world.

She shifted so she could touch and point to various things but paused. "Wait can you even read English?"

Celestia nodded. "if that's what you call it then yes I can. It's quite similar to earth pony script and tongue."

"Okay cool." She resumed pointing to various things. "That's a google search tab, left click it with the mouse and then type whatever your question is by using this keyboard. Got it?" The alicorn slowly nodded and Lenny leaned back into her seat. "Good."

~~~~~~

"Who could that be?"

"I might even buy some cider and hold onto...."

"Opportunity, in our community - Ready Flim? - Ready Flam."

"Rarity, you've got a discerning eye. Help Granny Smith at the quality control station."

"I'm proud of you, Applejack."

"Ah didn't learn anythin'! Ah was right all along! If you...."

At least she had a full accounting of the events prior to that somewhat cheeky letter. She couldn’t help but let out a small giggle at the whole event now.

It died not too long after she let the facts sink in now, she was in some kind of alternate universe where her people where a child's story and the humans are reality instead of vice versa. If she were in an alternate universe, it would explain her weak almost non-existent link to her sun and weak flow of magic, but how much else could be explained away with that line of reasoning? More importantly could she use this apparent cataloguing of events from her world as a way to keep up with her precious student? Perhaps this Google already had the answer she seeks.

Celestia carefully moved the mouse over to the Google bar.....

Author's Note

Obviously since Lenny isn't living with kids, she has no need for safe search to filter the results. Any suggestions on what she should come across? Even if it's not pony related I'll consider it just as long as it can get a plausible reaction out of our dear Celestia >:3
And once again thanks for my awesome editor pchn00 for making this look nice and clean

Clop and Company?!

"Twi-Twilight!?"

Her first mistake was clicking the first link. Her second was not looking away when she could.

"How did you even get that flexible?!" Celestia couldn't stop herself even if she wanted to. To say such thoughts of her students never crossed her mind would be like saying Discord was the poster child for obedience. She was not the image of perfection her subjects perceived but she did her best to live up to it.

And now there was a perfect image of her ravaging a bound and blushing Twilight.

"Nononononono!" She snapped out of her brief stint of lust and spazzed a little on the keyboard. It did not help. Now multiple windows were up and running; none without a lewd Celestia dominating some poor mare or in one case, Diamond Dog. "Stop! For the love of... of... Somebody, Stop!"

She tried the mouse this time, clicking everywhere. The alicorn of the day was just having poor luck with more and more images of her fornicating with anything that moved. Or was she? The screen went black and she let out a sigh of relief. It wasn't what she wanted but at least those images stopped.

The screen didn't stay black.

"Hello everypony this is Velvet Hilt, your favorite spokesmare for Equestria After Dark." Her voice was smooth and husky as if she were trying to woo you personally and with striking make up and seductive silver eyes and mane like hers you would be hard pressed to say otherwise.

"For returning members and those just joining we are now on our third and last day of the summer sun celebration where we worship our sexy solar slut, Princess Celestia!" She giggled a little lustfully at the camera. "We have had many artists, authors, and animators show off their skills as they all tell the stories Celestia has gathered over the millennia. From living under Discord's rule-" A picture flashed by depicting her, Luna, and Discord in an orgy with random ponies. "-to 'subduing' the changeling queen Chysalis." She sunk enough innuendo into that last bit to make a prostitute blush. The picture that appeared with it didn't do much to cool Celestia's own either.

Velvet Hilt returned in all her red furred feminine glory and smiled at the viewer. "On June 21st we kicked off this event by announcing the winner of the best clop fiction submitted to us and yesterday we showed you all who you chose as the best artist but now for what you have all been waiting for! The best animation goes to.... Copy_cat! Don't let the name fool you, this original work of our beloved Princess of the day shows her much darker side as the night falls."

The spokesmare faded out of sight and Celestia saw herself sitting in her room alone as she read a scroll. The ambiance was nice and relaxed but Celestia was on edge; her mind racing to guess what horrors were in store for her doppleganger that was for all intents and purposes, her.

The scroll drooped slightly and the violet eyes above them drifted to a nearby calander. There was something scribbled in red on it and the camera switched to a full view of a smiling mouth.

The camera angle was high up over a pillared hallway with the moon lighting up what it could through the large windows as a lone alabaster alicorn calmly walked the red carpet. She soon came across and approached a door guarded by a solar and lunar soldier. The day guard knocked on the door in a slight pattern before it opened to reveal a grey mare with golden mane and eyes to match, though they seemed to need a bit of adjustment. She smiled as she held a clip board in her mouth and the camera zoomed in with a weird list of seemingly random words that ranged from "Working Class" and "Mismatched" to "Cloud9" and "Anon".

Celestia signed her name next to "Gala" and the grey mare led her Princess through another hall but this one was filled with doors some open to reveal acts of very intimate nature between recognizable and not so notable ponies. A room marked "Fourth Wall" sported a very heated scene between Pinkie Pie and a black unicorn stallion with a slick backed black and grey mane. They stopped at the room marked with "Gala" and the grey mare bowed before leaving the princess to enter alone.

Celestia opened it with a warm and slightly predatory smile to see another grey mare this time her mane black and a pink bowtie around her neck. The cello virtuoso sat in front of a mirror as she brushed her mane but set it down to greet the princess with her trademark refined stoic expression. She didn't have a chance to with the alicorn suddenly rushing her and pinning her to the mirror with a hungry smile. Her voice was soft and husky, "I WILL break that-"

There was a loud banging somewhere outside the room that made the real Celestia jump and pull her out of the shocking yet captivating video-

"Lenny!" The banging continued. "Lenny you better not be sleeping!"

Of course she was. She actually looked quite comfortable with her legs up on the desk and even had a light snore going.

There was a loud bang and another quickly followed by another with footsteps soon after. The door burst open and Celestia jumped behind the laptop.

"Hoe. Lee. Shit."

Had she already been spotted!?"

~~~~~~

Does God hate me? I think he really does. Why? Just why can't I-

“-ake the hell up!"

With an animalistic growl, bloodshot eyes opened. "Fine I'm up! What do you want?"

"Don't get an attitude, you asked me to come over bright and early with groceries."

The newcomer was a young woman with stylishly short black hair that had some red strands running through here and there. She was a little on the fair side but far from pale and had an all American girl quality to her with her cute button nose and slender lips. She was also short, something Lenny loved to tease her about. Body wise where Lenny was just a simple dinner, her friend was a three course meal.

"Look I'm sorry Teri, just had a rough night."

Her friend laughed. "Yeah I guessed as much with the get up and computer screen."

"What are you-" She was cut off by a loud moan the laptop let out.

Lenny turned her eyes to see a rather raunchy scene of Celestia dominating everyone's favorite cellist, Octavia. The barely decent woman slowly facepalmed with reddened cheeks. "Can you give me a moment? I need to change so I can help you with the groceries."

"That depends. How long are you gonna take because I need to go places and I can't wait around while you snap one off."

"Teri."

"Yeah?"

"Shut the hell up and wait for me in the living room."

"Okay but if-" Lenny had pushed her friend out the door and shut it behind her before she could finish. She had her back against the door and let out a long suffering sigh before going to the computer and closing out the ungodly amount of windows that sported quite a bit of Celestia clop. She closed the laptop and saw Celestia hidden partially by a stack of papers. Lenny held a hand up to stem any questions that may have come. "Stay out of sight and keep quiet."

Celestia nodded and retreated into the disorganized paper fort.

With that out of the way she got properly dressed for the day she had desperately wanted to sleep away before she headed out to help her friend with the groceries. She came out wearing nothing special, just simple denim jeans and a long sleeve button up.

Bringing the groceries in from Teri's car was easy enough since she only bought for Lenny and her mom both of whom never had much of an appetite to begin with. Besides more than one trip for bringing in groceries is for the weak.

"So are you free today?"

There was a little rustling from gathering all the plastic bags Lenny would throw away soon. "Unfortunately no, I have papers from work I have to do for my boss."

Teri gave her a flat look. "I thought homework was only a school thing?" She laughed softly and put away the last of the groceries.

"Psh if only that were actually true! And after I'm finished I plan on sleeping because I didn't catch any shut eye until around 6 or 7." She stifled a yawn and threw away the bags. "But I'm still up for Ring of Fire or whatever this weekend."

"Ring of Fire?" Teri shook her head with a smile. "Smart one, it's Pacific Rim."

"Difference being? They are both essentially the same damn thing!"

"That's debatable." Her friend checked something and slid it back into her pocket. "Sorry I gotta head out now, I'm meeting up with my boyfriend soon."

"Tell phantom I said hey." She hugged her vertically challenged friend.

She rolled her eyes and hugged back. "He only dressed up like the phantom of the opera once! Let it go!"

Lenny playfully shoved her friend away. , "Hell no, that jerk stole my awesome idea! Besides I looked better in a suit than him anyway. He's lucky I was able to pull off Sebastian from Black Butler!"

"God, it all turned out okay so shut up!" She laughed again before heading to the door. "See you Saturday."

"Yeah see ya later." With her friend gone her former spunk and energy left as well. Her sluggish steps took her back into her room and she collapsed onto her desk chair. "You're good Celestia. You can come out now."

Celestia came out from under the desk and flew back up to the top. She landed gracefully by the laptop. "If I may ask, who was it that just visited?"

"An old friend, her name's Teri. Nothing else you really need to know." She stretched out despite sitting in a chair before relaxing again. "My turn to ask a question. What was all that about?"

"All what?"

Lenny scoffed with a smile. "Don't play dumb I'm talking about all that porn you pulled up. I mean geez! I won't lie and say I've never done so but at least be discreet about it."

"It was NOT intentional! I was simply trying to find if I ever return through your chronicles that follow my protege and her friends and... Well it was not as reliable as I had hoped." Despite how embarrassed she looked over this entire ordeal she still held her head up high.

Lenny laughed. "You can say that again." She opened up her laptop and booted it back up from sleep mode. "And here's the million dollar question! What is your relationship to your dearest Twilight?"

Celestia glared lightly at the subtle implication that would undoubtedly come. "I have a completely platonic relationship with her. She is my student and I am her teacher nothing more."

"Oh so you two aren't even friends? That must be hard on her when she always strives for your approval."

"What? No of course we are friends-"

"Ah but you just said you were nothing more than student and teacher!"

Celestia gave her another flat glare of annoyance.

Lenny held up her hands in a placating gesture. "Relax, relax I'm just giving you a hard time because I had to take the fall for all that porn earlier."

Celestia let it go with a good-natured smile and nodded. "Yes, sorry about that."

"Yeah I suppose I should have warned you about the darker side of the internet. Rule thirty four of the internet states that if it exists, there is porn of it somewhere." She laughed at the alicorn's adverse reaction. "Oh come on I'm sure you've come across some smut involving you or Luna in your world."

She shook her regal head. "No I have not! My subjects respect me too much to do such things."

"That sounds incredibly boring and... Naive! I simply refuse to believe that such stories have never popped up during your what? Thousand plus years reign." Lenny gave her a flat look before she brought the internet back up.

"Well there is a certain possibility that they exist but they were kept out of my sight and I never sought them out on my own." Celestia's hooves clopped lightly as she walked to get a better view of the computer screen.

"Please don’t tell me you are like one of those boring straight laced people who-.... Never mind your Princess freakin’ Celestia, you have no reason not to be." She rolled her eyes in minor annoyance at the thought of how they would inevitably clash. Their existence didn't annoy her per se but just simply how they went about things when they needlessly worried about some trivial obstacle like another's feelings. The ends justify the means after all.

"Yes I am PRINCESS Celestia, not Princess CELESTIA. I have an image to live up to and a people to look after. I can’t go off gallivanting whenever I please."

She sighed softly and Lenny took notice. She elbowed the princess lightly. "Hey I'm not gonna act like I know what you're going through but I can at least say I got an inkling for doing a job that leaves little down time."

Celestia raised a brow at this. "Oh? Do you have children you have to take care of?"

The human quickly shook her head. "Oh god no! I'm way too young for that! But most of my down time is consumed by taking care of another."

"Who do-"

"Sorry Princess that's enough sharing for today. So what were you looking for again? If I'm searching for it I'm pretty sure we can avoid all that porn." She smirked and added. "That we both know you enjoyed."

Celestia rolled her eyes but laughed softly at the harmless teasing. "I was trying to see if there was an accounting of Twilight on a quest to find me."

"Oh yeah, well was that episode I showed you actually accurate of what you knew?" Lenny began her quick search by going straight to EQD; she didn't visit it often but it was a good place to start.

"From what little I knew yes. The information matched up with a few variations here and there, like the Flim Flam brothers. They were twins yes, but the more definitive feature that truly set them apart wasn't the mustache but the gender. Flam was a mare but Flim was still a stallion."

"Odd but cool to know there are a few differences." Her eyes scanned the webpage and she let out a sigh. "You're not going to like this Celestia."

Author's Note

Sorry for the long wait guys, had to go job hunting and get ready for real life and all that awesomeness. On a more relevant note, I'm thinking there will only be two, three at the most, chapters left in this story. I hadn't been planning on it to be very long to begin with but thank you all for giving it a chance. I really appreciate it. Also, can you guess who the characters were that hid behind an alias? I think one should at least be blatantly obvious.

I only have one real worry right now. I think I'm going to need to change my rating because of this chapter ^_^, One last thing, I've been thinking about Smarty Pants being replaced. Possible sequel? :D

Panic and Pastimes

To say Luna struggled during her sister's absence was a gross understatement. Ever since her adventure in Ponyville during Nightmare Night she had taken on her readjustment into Equestrian society head on. She learned of all modern things of interest though as always, the princess of the night gravitated towards the more intellectual and hobbyist niches of society that most would refer to as nerdy. She dived into the fascinating subculture and forgot along the way what even brought her there in the first place. She did not anticipate nor prepare for her sister's sudden departure.

She thought it was a test at first. The mere idea infuriated her to no end but the anger spurred her on to meet the challenge in full force as always. Sure did not try to hide Celestia's disappearance and did her best placate the fearful masses. Most blamed Luna for this, her tumultuous return still fresh on many minds but few could hold onto that belief for long when the elements of Harmony stood behind the princess. Though of course they die more than just give her moral support. They all took very active roles in the search for Celestia.

Twilight put her great intellect to great use. Sure combed through both grand and ancient libraries of Canterlot for any leads be they prophetic or otherwise. The lavender unicorn did not stop there either, she directed the massive campaign alongside Luna in the largest ponyhunt Equestria and the world aside has ever seen. However in secret with Cadence, they helped Luna raise and set the sun each day.

Applejack used her extensive family network to spread the news of the solar Diarch ' s disappearance to the farthest reaches of Equestria and beyond, hoping that that if any caught Wind of the princess they would be that much closer to an occupied twin throne. Fluttershy did the same but instead used her talent with animals to achieve the same extent and be her eyes and ears.

Rarity's use while not as immediately apparent as Twilight or even Applejack, became glaringly obvious during one of the many confrontations of the local population that still believed Luna had a hoof in Celestia's sudden absence. Fluttershy tried valiantly to calm the angry mob but the poor pegasus never stood a chance with her crippling fear of strangers. Seeing her friend in danger, Rarity stepped up to the challenge. Elegant in poise but firm in tone, she managed to sway the crowd into a much more peaceful state. From then on she became the spokespony for the ongoing search, her eloquent speech and dazzling smile calmed the fearful populace of Equestria.

Pinkie Pie was the most enigmatic of the bunch but even more so than her friends ever remember seeing her. When she wasn't throwing parties to distract everypony from their problems she was "checking fanfictions for clues" as the pink pony put it. They simply chalked up that last bit to Pinkie Pie being her usual self along with how she any time to look after her own needs with all the parties she was constantly throwing. A few quietly hoped the mirror pool had nothing to do with it but Rainbow Dash could certainly use a few pointers.

The rainbow maned pegasus used her skills in flight to personally deliver any and all news and leads on Celestia's whereabouts. True to her element she did whatever was asked of her without much thought to her own needs and it wasn't long before Dash's body began to give out on her because of the lack of sleep let alone food. However, she soon was lent a helping hoof from an adored fire maned celebrity. With Spitfire and her crew now helping with the handling of crucial information and even coordinating the equestrian mail delivery services.

During this time of uncertainty, ponies began to finally rally behind their last princess in hopes that Celestia would be found soon. A hard the months of trials and tribulations had passed and the common folk have calmed down considerably. The nobles did anything but that and it was quickly coming to a head.of course that is another story all together. One that did not involve rage quits, porn, and the ever dignified Celestia.

~~~~~~

Ever since her brief exposure to that nefarious nexus of carnal creations Celestia thought it best to let Lenny do the information gathering. This however left her with an unheard of amount of free time because of Lenny's work schedule. She worked anywhere from ten to sixteen hours a day at this Star Buck's and her hours rarely started after this alien sun rose over this even more alien planet. Even after a light day by Lenny's standards of work she came home exhausted with paperwork to fill out. This gave her few moments beyond her initial search to help Celestia and what she found was troubling to say the least.

Celestia learned that the next so called season of her protégés adventures was months away and episode leaks were something that Lenny knew little about or where to even find them. Unwilling to face the earlier horror show she passed by the days of boredom by meditation and slowly regained her magic. It was a long and painstaking process and the world she currently inhabited had so little to draw upon to begin with. Almost as if it had all been used up. It was a disturbing notion that made the alicorn recall one of the few conversations they had when Lenny had a moment for Celestia. Though it did eat into the human's sleeping time.

"The thing is that-" a long quiet yawn interrupted Lenny's answer. The pale woman was laid out on her bed half covered by a flannel sheet and still wearing her employee uniform hat and all. "We are all sciencey and stuff here. There is a reason why magic and myth go hand in hand. They are just stories for the most part that explained away what we couldn't understand at the time." Her honey brown eyes struggled to stay open, "Certainly make my life a lot better. Poof up some cake to eat everyday. Mmm!"

The alicorn giggled at that, "Lenny, even magic has limits. The avid cake enthusiast I am, I can't simply "poof" up cake at every whim." Celestia smiled at the thought before she shook herself from fantasy, "Besides, the weight gain would not be flattering to either of us."

"I'll poof that shit away with some magic too. Yay for liposuction is magic!" Lenny laughed softly but soon light snoring emanated from the tired woman.

Still smiling Celestia turned in for the night as well.

Magic was interwoven into every moment of her life and certainly a vital part of her very being. To think of it as a finite resource no matter the size was not pleasant. But how could she have been pulled, or more than likely pushed to such a place with so little magic? If it was a teleportation spell there would have been a massive amount of magic used and the backlash the environment would have suffered would make the Everfree look like a paradise. Of course the price the caster would pay for altering reali... Discord.

He's the only one capable of-

"You're staring pretty damn hard at my laptop Celi. You really hate it that much?"

The voice shocked her out of her inner mind but her face betrayed none of it as she looked up at the approaching human, "No we just think it should have it burn a few things from the internet's inventory."

Lenny laughed as she tossed her keys onto the desk and hung up her cap and apron on an antique coat rack next to the door of her room, "Such a prude." She paused mid-step as something clicked in her head, "Aren't you guys polygamists because of that herd mentality crap?"

Celestia raised a brow, "Herd mentalitly? What does- oh hmm... It is not uncommon for a stallion to be tied to more than one mare but that is because there are so few stallions to begin with and it has always been a part of our culture. Ponies don't deal with solitude real well."

"Well I ain't gonna cuddle with you if that's your game. Sure I'll give you a scratch between the ears and maybe even a hug but that's it, sorry. Not really into interspecies kinda stuff. Unless it's gay furries but that will never happen."

Celestia nearly snorted but stopped herself just in time, "No that is not my game and there is no way I would use such lowly guilt laden traps to get such things. I have much better things to do than play such games."

"And that is why I have a laptop, so I can play different games than just that." Lenny pushed a button in that infernal device and it awoken from its dark slumber. She quickly clicked an icon before she settled down into the chair fit for the giant's size and Celestia was completely surrounded. Two arms forming the point of her fleshy triangle prison and the coffee scented body forming the base.

In all honesty she didn't care, she just couldn't figure out why she was giving it any thought at all.

A soft orchestra melody played as her screen came to life with a dragon roosting atop a castle. It was quite beautiful with the moon and sea at its back. The red scaled creature was proud and arrogant like most of his kind but not insufferably so with the power he held.

"Dragon's Dogma?"

She tilted her head before she realized her time with Lenny was having an adverse affect on her elagant poise. And why wouldn't it be? This human could care less about royalty in general and didn't care much for any sort of formality to begin with. It was almost comforting if she would just allow herself to enjoy it.

The woman looked down to her four legged companion with a smile, "Best game in the world in my totally biased opinion." She quickly jumped through a few menus before the world opened up and then closed in on a seemingly random person. She stood tall and skin of bronze with her midnight violet hair in a low tail braid that rested on her shoulder and cobalt blue eyes that shone with strength backed by kindness, a rarity in the circles Celestia was use to. The rest of her face was sheilded from view thanks to a bandana she wore that mimicked a fanged maw ready to eat.

Her outfit was that of a mercenary archer, metal covering her bow arm while her right was bare save a fingerless glove. She had a sky blue leather skirt and chain mail leggings that disappeared into strong iron boots. Her bow itself was impressive with its strong recurved wood being plated with metal as well.

She looked truly impressive.

"I'd ask if you want to try but I dont think your hooves could really work my controllers."

Celestia was shocked out of her staring and looked up to see Lenny digging out some sort of contraption with various buttons and a two sticks of somesort. "Well, magic does help in many day to day chores."

"Magic? Oh you mean laziness?" Celestia rolled her eyes with a smile as her friend laughed at the playful ribbing.

"No it is simply the royal way of doing things."

"And that Princess Lazy Ass is why I don't bother with them. Now give this a try if you can." The strange black contraption was set in front of Celestia and she just stared for a moment unsure what do, "It won't bite I promise. I took out its teeth at an early age." This got a glare from Celestia. Despite the playful trading it could have been true in this strange world.

With a dignified huff her magic enveloped the device and she gave it an experimental push. The woman on the screen suddenly began to run before the camera's view shot up to look at the sky. Just as quickly as that happened, the view changed back to her character falling off a tall cliff and into the ocean in a gurgling mass of red water where her character once was. The human snickered as she watched Celestia panic, the thumbsticks going every which way.

"Ah the Brine. A scary bastard that inhabits the water. Sometimes he eats you and other times he just tosses you back ashore." She smirked down at the flowering princess until a familiar voice spoke up from the game.

"Master!"

She felt a little bad now though. She loved this game and one of the things about it that drew her was the company the hero/heroine kept. " Sorry I probably should have given you a quick look at how the controls work but you know, gotta get my entertainment somewhere."

A smile finally broke through on her face as she gave a long suffering sigh, "I am glad to see I can provide something in that regard."

Lenny rolled her eyes, "Oh you know you would do it to me in a heartbeat if the tables were turned."

Celestia stuck up her snout in a haughty expression but smiled softly, "Taking advantage of a foreigner is unbecoming of a princess."

"Damn straight, you may be a princess but not my princess."

"As if you would have the chance to court me!"

"As if I would give you the time of day and you are the one who sets the damn thing!"

~~(Ch)~~

A small creature lurking in the shadows let out a pleased grow and instead of the soft burp that came up from the delicious emotion radiating from the two. No not love, it was too content in this state to become more but all it would need was a push. The changeling could do this but it was unnecessary. After all Chrysalis preferred to play with her food. Even if Celestia's friend was a giant.

Author's Note

Yeah.... Sorry this took so long. I was writing something completely different at the time and after coming back to this for so long I kind of hated what I saw. That and I probably would have been more motivated to keep writing if it were a shameless self insert xD but no really thanks for at least giving my story a try guys. Comment all your rage and love!

Also sorry for the blocky look, I did this all on my phone.

Home, meet Invasion

~~~~~~

So nice, so warm. Celestia sighed softly and buried herself in the warmth. It was the best feeling in the world to just drift in this blissful oblivion. A perk of being forcefully relieved of duty was that she could now keep sleeping after the sun rose, which she also had no authority to raise. She shifted and cuddled up to the darkness. The darkness nuzzled back with a light giggle.

Something is not right with this picture. Or at least the logical side of her brain told her. The rest of them was telling it to shut up and go back to bed. Alas it was not to be.

With a groan she sat up and pulled her meager cover off as she let out a sleepy yawn. Grabby hooves enclosed around her barrel and yanked her back down onto the bed and for a moment she was okay with this. The cuddly warmth was putting up a very persuasive argument for going back to bed. Until she realized she was supposed to be the only one with hooves in this room.

She leapt out of bed violently tearing away from those foreign hooves and rather rudely flipped the bed on her unannounced guest. This awarded Celestia with a rather low and dangerous growl. A green aura slowly grasped the bed and set it back in the correct position to reveal an annoyed Chrysalis on the other side of it, "Now was that really necessary?" Her double timbre voice was laced with her anger and general malice she held for the alicorn.

"Every bit of I'm afraid. I don't take kindly to strangers helping themselves to my bed." Celestia had her wings flared out in an imposing stance and her horn glowed softly. She was ready for a fight but the alicorn knew she was at a disadvantage with her low magical reserves. However Chrysalis seemed more intent to annoy her than actually fight.

The changeling queen gave the princess a smirk and climbed back onto the bed she settled back down on with a shrug, "Well perhaps you shouldn't make it so inviting. Besides, you certainly weren't complaining when I jumped in and were actually quite the cuddler." The smirk broke out to a full blown grin, "Whispering sweet nothings in my ear and holding onto me tightly as if you were afraid I would disappear into the night. Don't worry, I am not Luna. I won't go about destroying the place in a fit of jealousy."

Celestia went from frowning to scowling but ultimately did not take the obvious bait, "How did you get here?"

"Oh did I ruin your little vacation?" She laughed softly with a sickly sweet smile.

Celestia took in a deep breath and let it out when she was sure she wasn't going to shove that crooked horn deep into its owners eye. The scowl left her face and soon all she had left for an expression was an arched brow, "No, you have vastly improved it with your gleeful presence."

Chrysalis gave her a mocking bow of her head, "I am so glad to be of service Princess."

It took a moment for Celestia to unlock her jaw and getting it moving again, "You still haven't answered my question, Chrysalis. How did you get here?"

"Well, after a certain alicorn played hooky from work a few ponies began to panic. Oh poor Luna had to call martial law, kill a few ponies and a griffin as well but splitting hairs really when she executes them all by the hun-"

As Chrysalis droned on about this obvious lie she was trying to feed Celestia and the mare massaged a temple, "Would you kindly tell me what really happened or will I be forced to introduce your horn to your innards?" Her voice was calm for the most part just a hint of annoyance in it but she had a smile that would make a full grown dragon nervous.

But Chrysalis wasn't a dragon, "My you have certainly grown violent in the few months you have been absent. Kind of sexy actually." The changeling gave her pony counterpart a flirty wink.

Celestia rolled her eyes before she could stop herself, "You exaggerate too much. It has been weeks, not months. "

"And here I thought the one who set the length of day had a firm grasp of passing time." The smugness rolling off Chrysalis was near suffocating.

"Enough!" Her wings flared in an imperious flap as her horn glowed brightly, "Before you had the love of one of my subjects to sustain you and my ponies as a shield. Now you have neither so don't think for a moment I will hold back. You won last time because I let you." She stomped hard enough on the wooden desktop to leave indents of her hoof on it as she approached the source of her ire. "I have no such restraints this time Chrysalis. The only thing that keeps me from utterly destroying you is that it would be a hassle to clean up the mess of your corpse afterward. After all, I am but a temporary guest of this house and I don't wish to inconvenience my host anymore than I already have." Their horns were practically locked together as they butted heads, trying to force each other back down.

"Well I suppose that answers one question." Chrysalis gave her a feral grin as they both pushed hard against one another in a primal display of dominance.

"Oh it does?" She spat out, "Would you be so kind to share it then?"

"You didn't-

Heavy stomping was heard as the door suddenly opened for the giant known as Lenny to lumber into the room with a groan, "Ugh fuck my life." Still dressed in her barista uniform she collapsed onto her bed with a sigh.

The two just stared at the human for a moment before Celestia tried to get her horn out from the impromptu lock the changeling's own had become, "Uh- Lenny what happened to work?"

~~~~~~

Lenny yawned out an answer, "Boss... Sorry my boss was kind enough to let me have the day off. He just neglected to give me a head's up. She shifted so she could get a clear view of her desk and saw Celestia trying to do.... Something with that eerily familiar toy. Wait was that...?

She sat up and moved so quickly to the desk that Celestia instinctively backpedaled and brought down that black colored horse thing down with her. But why were their horns stuck together like that? "Here let me help." With a few deft movements of her hands she had the two apart and now held Chrysalis in her hands.

It took her a moment to process this. Then she squeed.

"Oh hell yes! Celestia who dropped this off? I always wanted a Chrysalis! So life like too!" She held it close and rubbed her face against it affectionately, "And warm. Was it sitting out in the sun?"

A soft sound emanated from the the very real Chrysalis in her hands who had its, no, her hooves over her snout, "Oh I am so sorry. Just so much love at once can get me to burp on occasion when I am in my true form."

Now the floor was rushing up to meet Lenny in a not so loving embrace.

Author's Note

Sorry it is half as long as the last, I am just trying to get in the habit of putting these guys out on a weekly basis. Let me know what you think and thanks for reading.

Taming the Beast

~~~~~~

Well.... That just happened.

"Lenny!" Celestia's voice was filled with fear as she dived down onto the floor to check on her companion. Chrysalis however was stuck in the creature's paw and pinned between it and its neck. It took her a little bit as she tried to wriggle her way out and finally managed to do so thanks to a rather rough yank from Celestia.

She looked unhappy as usual. If she kept up at it the alicorn would get some serious wrinkles, "Thanks for getting me out of that tight spot. Uh... Dreadful pun unintended."

The alicorn gave her an irate glare but said nothing as she went back to checking on this Lenny, circling around the grand creators head. Oh if she could bring this thing back home her hive would be set for generations to come! Not only did it not have any sort of malice towards her but it instead seemed to adore her! From this brief exposure she felt decades younger, as if she had just broken out of her first molt. Ooh yes.

"Well it seems all she will have is a minor head ache when she wakes up."

Chrysalis returned to the present with a slight jump and glanced up at a Celestia hopping down from atop the giant's shoulder, "I am glad to hear this. I would certainly not wish any permanent harm to her."

"As opposed to temporary?" The amethyst eyes of the goddess were simmering with annoyance.

" Well pain does have its uses but too much of anything is bad Besides, You are twisting my words. I have no reason to see her harmed, not after that gift." She shivered in delight, "I think I am set for at least another week just from that little burst."

Celestia frowned and her elegant brows drew together in anger, "Lenore is not your personal feedbag."

Chrysalis laughed softly, "Your words not mine. Besides she wouldn't just be feeding me, I do have a hive to look after."

Suddenly the two were butting heads again, a snarl twisting the features of an alicorn and a cruel smirk upon the changeling's snout.

"Is there no end to your depravity?"

Chrysalis gave Celestia am exasperated sigh as she rolled her eyes, "I would love to get into this with you but not really. Do you think I am some cliche villain that tells you their whole mission and life story in some grand monologue just before they win? I'll pass."

"Win? Win what?" Her concentration slipped for just a moment.

And that was all the Queen needed. She pulled back just a little and Celestia was now just a little over extended with her horn locked against Chrysalis crooked horn. With it hooked around Celestia's she yanked back hard this time and caused the alicorn to fall over before she stood over triumphantly. "With our little power struggle of course. What? Did you think I was planning on conquering Equestria or something just as ridiculous?"

Celestia growled as she got to her hooves, "Well you were idiotic enough to try it the first time around." She had to restrain herself from rising to Chysalis' bait time and time again. The alicorn took in a deep breath to calm and center herself. She knew why the mare before her got under her skin so easily, it was as much as pride as it was protectiveness. The queen had threatened her ponies with enslavement and made her look weak in front of her subjects. She wasn't sure which was worse and that scared her.

Finally, all emotion was in check. She was like a void to Chrysalis' emotional sense and drew up accordingly, her smug attitude gone and replaced with something a bit more wary.

"Yes well we all make mistakes at some point. Some bigger than others."

Celestia shook her head, " Time for a change in subject. You still haven't answered my question. More specifically you haven't given me a truthful answer."

Chrysalis sighed seeing that she wasn't going to be able to poke anymore fun at Celestia and get an entertaining response in return. She turned and flew back onto the desk with the bed she shared the night with Celestia. Aside from the rather rude awakening it was a glorious night of sleep.

She heard a light flapping of wings and soon enough the equestrian embodiment of the sun was there with her, "Are you going to avoid answering now?"

Chrysalis shook her head and climbed upon the bed before sitting down, "No, Just getting comfortable. Something tells me your questions are numerous and I don't really want to stay on my hooves to answer all of them."

"On my bed?" An elagant brow raised.

"What? I don't have a problem sharing." She patted a spot next to her with a smile before she was rather rudely grasped in Celestia's magic and dumped upon the desk only for the alicorn to take her spot.

"Yes well I do when considering you."

Chrysalis sighed but did not try to regain the bed, some battles best left as they were. She looked about for a place to get comfortable and bundled up a rag to lay on, "Now what was your question?"

Celestia let out a sigh and leveled a cool glare at Chrysalis," How did you get here?"

"Well that's bit of a story." The changeling walked in a little circle on the rag with little stomps before settling down like a cute, hole riddled, misanthropic cat. Celestia was pretty sure she heard some purring as well. "To make a long story short she just used the sun's connection to you to send me here to pick you up."

"I am sensing a "but" coming along."

Chrysalis shrugged, "Your prized student may be one the most if not the single most powerful unicorn in the history of Equestria but she is still just that, a unicorn. Even with the backing of two other alicorns at her disposal sending me here was quite the ordeal in of itself."

Celestia frowned and sat up a little straighter, those violet eyes of hers analyzing the not quite valiant mare, "And why would you volunteer for such a thing? So many unknowns let alone the... dislike shared between races."

Chrysalis giggled in a sickly sweet way, "Well I am thinking a bit more long-term, especially when such high risks bring a possibility of high rewards. Though I may have just found the best thing to bring back."

Her gaze drifted to the limp human just as Celestia connected the dots, "Oh no you dont. This a sentient being, not some hive resource for you to exploit!"

She smirked, "To use your own words, what makes you think none of our resources enjoy being... exploited?"

The alicorn's face became as expressive as a slab of granite, "Regardless of whether or not such things are voluntary I will not allow you to take her."

"Oh then have I missed something? Don't tell me that you have already claimed her as your own?"

"What-no! She has her own mind to choose who she loves." The granite was cracking.

"Then she is mine and I claim her for the hive." Something clicked in the changeling's head. A certain phrase of words she could have fun with. "Of course I may on occasion may need to borrow your face, no fun in wooing some-" she glanced at Lenny unsure what to classify the giant as, "thing that is already attracted to you."

"Like I would allow you to-"

Chrysalis have her a cheeky grin and cut her off, "Can't stop me! But I do promise to wait until we all return to Equestria. Which will be soon... hopefully."

Celestia messaged a temple, eyes closed as she spoke, "If I were hundred percent sure your death would not impede my way back home there would be no hesitation in a quick, preferably painful death."

The changeling waved it off with a hoof and a smile, "There you go being sexy again with all of your sweet promises of violence."

Celestia let out a sigh, "You are the worst."

"Not compared to you."

"All offense meant, I truly hope our time together is short."

Chrysalis shrugged off the insult, "Yeah about that. Remember how I said months and you said weeks. She may already be conjuring the spell to bring us back. Assuming of course that the apparent time differences hold true."

Surely they could be civil until a now very real rescue could come around.

An Apology

Truly, I regret to do this but I must after just looking at it for long and doing nothing with it. I am discontinuing this story along with the others. My stories are generally a novel version of an rp I do with a friend or two but as they fall through or otherwise simply die off, I don't really have the heart to continue them. I am sorry but I honestly doubt I shall be picking ANY of my stories back up and shall change their statuses accordingly. Thank you for your time and I hope you at least enjoyed reading it up to this point.