Evander's Exploration of Equestria

by zvarina

Rating: everyone
Tags: Adventure, Human, Comedy
Length: 2342

Evander the alicorn-human goes to Equestria--ON PURPOSE!

Evander is a human, but she's part alicorn. She loves exploration, and she & her friend love My Little Pony. They decide to find a tear in time & space, and eventually do, and travel to Equestria.

Rated E for Everypony

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-07-28 04:37:52 UTC

Chapter 3: Yo Momma's So Pony

"Where am I?" Evander's mother thought to herself. "Well, Cheyenne Taconia never gives up! I must find the girls. Wherever they are..."

The girls were with Twilight Sparkle.

"You know, girls, you can stay here. I got a sleeping bag."

"Oh, don't worry, Twi, we'll try and get home."

Cheyenne approached the library and just at that exact moment, the girls walked out. They noticed how much the unicorn in overalls looked like Evander's mother. "What's your name, unicorn?" Evander aked the unicorn. "Cheyenne. Yours?" the unicorn replied.

"I'm Evander. Are you my mother? Cheyenne Taconia?"

"I am Cheyenne Taconia...MY GIRL! Oh, I was so worried!"

"Don't worry, Ma, we're okay. Shall we live here together? Oh wait, father's still in Oregon in our world for that conference."

"Maybe we can combine our magic and bring him here?" Isabelle suggested.

Snowdrop's ghost walked by & blinked at the two girls.

"Ma, did you see that?"

"Yeah, I did, actually."

The three walked past Gem Star's house.

Gem opened the door with her magic & invited the three in.

"Hello." said Gem as she lifted up her hoof and made blankets wrap around the three mares.

"I'm Gem Star. Nice to meet you."

"Gem, how'd you levitate those blankets to us when you aren't a unicorn?"

"Easy, Pink Fluffy Alicorn--"

"Evander."

"--Evander. I use my knowledge of magic. You see, I was born an alicorn, the only one in my family, to be exact, but my magic was too strong, so my family had to remove my horn with magic. Since my whole family is made up of wizards, they taught me the traditional, and forgotten, knowledge of earth pony or pegasus magic. They taught me to use my hooves instead of a horn."

"Well that sounds cool, Gem." the three mares said in unison.

"And also, I taught an earth pony who wished for wings how to use magic."

"And who was this pony you taught magic to?" asked Evander.

"Patch." Gem replied.

The word "Patch" echoed through Evander's mind.

"From My Little Pony Tales?"

"Yup."

"But how?"

"She made a time machine & came to this time."

"Cool."

"Now she's going back & coming back."

"Cool."

"Are you even LISTENING to me?"

"I like trains."

Gem giggled at the reply.

"Wanna come and see my G1 & G2 My Little Pony doll collection?"

"Okay, sure."

The three mares followed Gem upstairs to her room.

Chapter 5: Where The Schoolfilly Lyra Is

As the three fillies entered the schoolroom, Lyra entered.

"I'M A SCHOOLFILLY!" shouted Lyra.

"Okay, that's nice, Lyra. NOW SIT DOWN!" shouted Cheerilee, o tly.

Lyra sat down next to Gem at the end of the fillies' row.

"HELLO HUMAN!" Lyra shouted at Isabelle & Evander.

"You aren't secretly humans, are you..?" Gem asked.

"Err..."

Gem used her magic to see Isabelle & Evander's true selves.

"YOU ARE HUMANS!" shouted Gem.

"Uhh..." the ex-humans stuttered.

Chapter 6: Gem The Crazed Pegasus

"We can explain this, Gem!" Evander cried.

"NO! I don't wanna hear it, Evander."

"I'm gonna leave now..." Isabelle said as she left the room.

"Dang it, Isabelle's gone." Evander stated, facehoofing.

"I like humans..." Lyra said with the same face Pinkie used when she was insane.

"Creepy..." Gem said as she ran to the bookshelf. She started flipping through pages, pretending to read.

"Aw, forget it!" Cheerilee yelled as she, too, walked out.

"Are we alone?" asked one foal.

"No, you idiot! There are many foals here!"

"Oh."

"I'm leaving." said Evander, angered as Gem was when Celestia's daughter kicked her out of her party.

"Okay, Evander."

Evander walked out of the door and noticed Gem beating up Isabelle for finding a tear in time to get into Equestria.

"GET BACK HOME!" yelled Gem.

Evander saw a ghost Snowdrop with a frowny face. Evander ran to Snowdrop and hugged her as Gem stopped to go and hug the Snowdrop, too. Applejack walked by.

"What are you huggin'? I dun see it."

"Umm...Nothing."

"Ookay."

"That was close, Evander."

"Yeah."

"A LITTLE HELP HERE?!" yelled Isabelle from the ground.

"Oh yeah, sorry."

Evander helped her friend up and followed Gem home to see a clean home and her mother in the guest bedroom.

"HOLY CRUD!" exclaimed Gem. "I've never seen a house this clean in my life!"

Evander looked at Isabelle, and Isabelle looked at her.

The three woke up the mother of Evander. What is Isabelle's dad gonna say about her being gone so long? I have no idea.

Chapter 7: Is This The End?

The ground started to shift and shake rapidly.

"QUAKE!!!! Run, girls, run!!!"

The three ran for their lives.

They got into the Everfree Forest and Cheyenne started assembling a detector for a gateway back.

"I love you all, and if we don't make it, I want you to know that."

Gem ran into the forest after them.

"Hey, what's your mom assembling?"

"I dunno."

"Okay."

"It's a detector for a gateway home." said Cheyenne.

"Oh."

Cheyenne finished it quick as heck.

"Done!" yelled Cheyenne. "I'm detecting something!"

"Like what?"

"It's this way..."

They all walked to the coordinates.

"A rock?!!" cried Evander. "Another rock?!!"

"Hey, it's how we got here."

"Okay, you're right, Isabelle."

"We gotta leave now, Gem. Goodb--"

"I'm coming with you."

"No, you can't, Gem! You live here."

"But I wanna come with you."

"No." replied Evander, sternly.

"We must leave." Isabelle added, as the went through the rock and waved.

They were back home, but another girl was there. It was Gem.

Chapter 8: Oh, Gem, Why?

Evander looked behind herself and gasped.

"Gem...Is that you?"

"Yes, Evander."

"But...Why? And don't stand on all fours here, it makes you look weird."

"Erm...Okay."

Gem stood up and lost her balance immediately.

"Let's get you in a wheelchair, instead."

Isabelle and Evander helped Gem get into the wheelchair and wheeled her into Evander's house.

Meanwhile, Isabelle's father wasn't worried at all.

Gem plopped down on the couch and Evander put a Patch doll in her lap.

"Ah, just like home." Gem smiled.

Evander turned on the TV, and tuned it to Disney Channel. Jessie was on.

Evander's mother cooked them some pancakes.

As they all sat at the table,  Isabelle got a grin up on her face.

"Do you like pancakes?"

"Yeah we like pancakes!"

Gem was confused. Evander spotted the look.

"Oh, yes. It must not have been on your world-wide web. We'll show it to you."

Isabelle forked her pancake and stuffed the whole thing in her mouth.

                                                       TO BE CONTINUED

Gem & The World Around Her: Chapter 1

"ERMAHGERD!! The Waffle House is having a discount on tuesdays--That's today!"

Isabelle punched Evander in the face.

"Hey! Why'd you do that?"

"One, you said 'ermahgerd' for the 50 billionth time, two, because you know I hate ads in the newspaper."

"UGH! 'Ermahgerd' isn't that annoying."

"Yes it is."

"Shut up."

"Okay."

"I like trains."

"Haha. Pie."

"HI!" shouted Gem as she plopped down in a chair at the table. "What are we speaking about?"

"Umm...waffles." continued Evander.

Gem picked the Speak 'n' Spell off the floor and screwed around with it.

"THIS IS FUUUUUUN!" shouted Gem.

"I'm glad you like it." replied Evander.

Evander eyed the television and used magic to get the remote to her. She turned it on, and My Little Pony Tales was on.

"Yay!" exclaimed Gem.

"Man, I wish I could use magic." said Isabelle as she shoved a spoon of Cookie Crisp into her mouth.

Gem fiddled with the Speak 'n' Spell some more.

Evander was reading the newspaper, Gem screwing around with a Speak 'n' Spell, and Isabelle eating Cookie Crisp.

What could go wrong? The girls were having a lot of fun. But where was Evander's mom, you ask? She was upstairs folding clothes.

Gem & The World Around Her: Chapter 2

As Cheyenne folded the clothes, Isabelle called her dad.

"Hello?" asked Isabelle, over the phone.

"Is this my daughter?" asked Isabelle's dad in return.

"No, this is Patrick. HAHA! It's Isabelle."

"Oh, thank goodness! I was wondering where you were. Where are you?"

"At Evander's house."

"Oh, okay. You can sleep over, if it's alright with Evander's family."

"Alright. Thanks, dad!"

"You're welcome."

Isabelle hung up. Evander's mother finished putting the clothes in the drawers, and walked downstairs.

"You girls want some cake? I see you finished your meal." Cheyenne asked the three girls.

"Sure." replied Isabelle.

"Thanks! We'd love some." replied Evander.

"HEHEHEHE!!! HAHAHAHA!! YESSS!!!" yelled Gem.

The other three women stared at Gem.

Gem got the Speak 'n' Spell to say "Pie is good!".

Gem smashed the buttons on the TV remote with her fist.

"Dipsy, Lal--It's good to eat Lu--It's--And a beautiful Starsong me-" yelled the TV in a quick burst of sound.

"Umm..." stuttered Evander. "I don't think we should have her around--Dang. She screwed up my robot."

"What, I'm only building a new sculpture with these Legos! Here, take the brick-thingy that says 'NXT' on it."

"NXT brick."

"Yeah, whatever."

Isabelle screwed with her iPod, and played TTLYXOX.

Evander had Gem lie down on the couch. Evander set the input on the television to AppleTV, played an episode of My Little Pony Tales for Gem, gave Gem the remote and explained how to play more episodes, and gave her a teddy bear.

Gem did a scootayawn, leaned back on the pillow, and relaxed.

Chapter 1: Evander & Isabelle Sneak Out

Evander stepped outside. "Isabelle, I don't think my mother is looking. I think we're safe."

"Okay, Evander." said Isabelle quite unsure. The pair stepped outside in their exploration outfits.

"Evander, you might--OH CRUD! Yo momma's coming!" exclaimed Isabelle with a jump back.

"Isabelle, it's not the time for jokes. Think of an excuse!"

"Okay, Evander."

Evander's mother stepped outside in her dirty overalls. "My, my, whatta nice day! What ya girls doin'?"

"Oh, nothing, mother. Just taking a walk. But we wanna do it alone, y'know, just us."

"I understand, Evander. I'll go inside now. Thanks for chatting with me!" Evander's mother shut the door.

"That was close. Let's go get to that portal now."

"Okay, Evander." said Isabelle, with a smile.

They came closer to the tear in time & space.

"Hey, Evander! Look what I can do!" Isabelle put her hand through a rock.

"ERMAHGERD!!! Dude, don't do that!"

"Why not?" asked Isabelle.

Evander had a facepalm moment.

"Because."

"Ugh, okay." said Isabelle, with a bit of attitude.

"Isabelle, on three, you can jump into that rock with me. Okay?"

"Okay, Evander."

"1..."

"2..."

"3!! Jump in!"

The girls jumped in, and were soon in Equestria.

Chapter 2: Evander & Isabelle's Equestrian Life

"We're here, Isabelle! GET OFF THE GROUND!"

"But I don't wanna!!!" yelled Isabelle.

Evander shot her an evil eye.

But it wasn't very scary with the fluffy mane Evander had.

"Oh. My. Crud. Evander, you look so...uh..EPIC!" Isabelle squealed."BWAHAHAHAHA!! Evander, you're a fluffy alicorn!"

"Shut up, Isabelle. At least I'm not dancing on a rainbow. You're also an alicorn, Isabelle."

"Oh hoh hoh! So you AREN'T dancing on a rainbow? HAHAHA!" Isabelle used her alicorn magic to make Evander dance on a rainbow.

"BWAHAHAHA!! You're so funny!" Isabelle squealed in laughter.

"Isabelle, let's just find Lyra."

"Okay, Evander."

The girls walked to the library to ask Twilight if she'd seen Lyra. Well, the girls bumped into Pinkie & Lyra.

"I've never seen you two princesses before!" shouted Pinkie. "You must be new. Well, welcome!"

Lyra gasped. "Wait--Are you secretly humans?! OH MY CELESTIA! YESSSS!!! Tell me how to get into your world!"

Twilight whacked her hoof on a desk. "Don't be silly, Lyra! Humans are only in their world, and it takes 30 moons for the portal to open! Therefore these girls here are definitely normal ponies."

"I don't know, Twilight. I haven't seen them around before, and I know EVERYPONY!" Pinkie stated.

Isabelle cracked under pressure. "OKAY! So, we're from the human world! We found a tear in time and space, and we wwent through! So then we la-" Isabelle was cut off by Evander, but she continued, muffled by Evander's hoof."-HMPHH HURR HMM HMM HMPH HMPH! HUHURR HUUPH! HURRPH!! HRRPH HRRPH HRRPH!!!" Isabelle pushed Evander's hoof away. "I don't think they get the point now, Evander."

"Isabelle, you blew our cover, and we haven't even been here for an hour! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!!"

"Because they needed to know!" exclaimed Isabelle.

"ERMAHGERD! It's night already, and we have no place to stay!"

"Dang." said Isabelle, very plainly.

                                                     Back at Home

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Those girls aren't back, and it's freaking 10:00! I wonder if they're okay..." Evander's mother cried.

Evander's mother ran off to find them, and tripped on a stick next to the rock the girls jumped into, and fell in.

Chapter 4: Gem The Pegasus Wizard & Her Home of Epicness

The three mares entered the room, and found a cozy bed, a closet, a dresser, a large collection of G1 & G2 ponies, along with her impressive mound of assorted fakies, G4 ponies & G3 ponies, her TV, which was playing a My Little Pony Tales marathon.

As she picked up her Patch doll, she changed the TV to a channel playing Secret Squirrel. Evander was happy to know she had a good taste in television programming. She showed the girls the doll for a good 30 minutes and then she changed the TV to a channel playing Mr. Roger's Neighborhood (The ponified version, not the Lyra-Put-It-On-Equestrian-TV original version.), and Evander cried tears of joy from the memories flowing into her mind from the days she watched it as a young girl. Evander swore she saw Isabelle shed a tear, too. Celestia lifted the sun as Gem told the two girls she was going to school and the two should, too. The ponies followed Gem out the door and to school, and Cheyenne stayed home & cleaned.