Underaged Thinking

by TheNewYorkBrony

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Main 6, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders
Length: 2940

The Cutie Mark Crusaders crusade through Ponyville to ask the mane six how they deal with stress. But somethings shouldn't be copied

The CMC are at it again! With a deadline to find their one true talent fastly approaching, desperate times call for desperate measures! But that doesnt always mean you should take advice from your older friends!

Published 2013-07-07 04:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-07-07 04:00:02 UTC

Chapter 1

“Another failed attempted at gettin’ our cutie marks.” AppleBloom grumbled as she threw the soccer ball she had been previously trying to kick across Sweet Apple Acres.

“Hey, speak for yourself!” Scootaloo growled, holding an ice pack to her head. She had tried to get her goalie cutie mark by catching the balls Sweetie and AB kicked. From the bruises on her arms, legs, and forehead, you can tell how that went.

“I think it went great!” Sweetie Belle bubbled, her curls bounced as she bounced the soccer ball up and down on her knee. Turns out she was really, really good at soccer. But, alas, no mark.

They were sitting on the front porch of the Apple family home, Granny Smith napping in her rocking chair and Applejack and Big Mac out working the fields. It was the middle of August, so they were out of school. They had nothing better to do but try and find what they’ve been trying to find since the day they all met.

“Ah’m tired of trying to get our marks! We might never get em’!” AppleBloom growled as she kicked some dirt off her red high-tops.

Scootaloo grabbed at the suspenders on her overalls. “Don’t you dare say that! I can’t go through life being a- a-”

“Blank flank?” a smug voice asked. It was Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. The girls in their fifth grade class that have been giving them grief for the longest.

“Diamond Tiara. Might I ask what the heck yer doing on my family’s land?” AppleBloom snapped.

“I just came by to tell you that you three have to get your cutie marks before summers end or else Ms. Cheerilee will fail you.” She responded, smirking.

“What?! But we’ve been working so hard!” Sweetie Belle whined.

“How are we so sure you ain’t lyin’?!” AppleBloom said getting into Diamond Tiara’s face.

“Ms. Cheerilee sent us over here herself.” Silver Spoon responded.

“She’d sent you two? Of all people?!” Scootaloo scoffed.

“Hey! It’s not our fault you dorks suck at everything!” Diamond sneered.

“You wanna say that without a mouth full of teeth?!” Scoots threatened her fist shaking with anger. The only thing that held her back from wailing on the two butheads she despised was the only two friends she had.

“We’ll get our cutie marks! You’ll see!” AppleBloom called after them after they had walked off laughing. She sighed. “What are we gonna do ya’ll? If we don’t get our cutie marks we’ll be in the fifth grade forever!”

“Maybe we should find different ways to relax and then our cutie marks will just come to us!” Scootaloo suggested, pounding her fist in her other hand.

“That’s a great idea, Scoots!” AppleBloom told her.

“We could always ask Rarity what she does when she’s stressed. Maybe if we relax a little it will just come to us.” Sweetie Belle responded, twisting a curl of hair.

“Sweetie thats a great idea! We’ll go see what Rarity does to get unstressed so she can make clothes!” AppleBloom shouted.

“Yeah! Come on guys!” Scootaloo called as she ran over to her scooter. AppleBloom and Sweetie Belle followed after her, getting into the wagon behind it.

They zoomed over to Carousel Boutique as fast as they could, almost running into a few people on the process. But finally they made it. Sweetie Belle called for her sister.

“Hey! Rarity! Raaaaarity!”

The seamstress emerged from from her work room with a small frown on her face. “What is it that you want, Sweetie Belle? I am in the middle of a very important order for a very well known client and I cannot have you disturbing me!”

Sweetie nodded. “Well, we just wanted to ask you what you do when you're stressed.”

Rarity raised a brow. “I work through it. Or maybe I take a nice hot bubble bath and drink a nice glass of wine.”

“What’s wine?” Scootaloo asked.

“You’ll find out when you’re older. Now if you girls will excuse me, I have a order to get to back to.” And with that, Rarity disappeared back into her work room.

“Well that was a total bust.” Scootaloo muttered as they made their way back to her scooter.

“We should go see what Twilight does when she wants to relax!” AppleBloom shouted.

Scootaloo groaned. “No, no, no! All she’s gonna say is that she sits and reads! I mean who does that?!”

Sweetie Belle put her helmet on her head. “Only one way to find out.”

They rode over to Twilight’s, but first stopping for some ice cream before continuing to the library. When they reached it, AppleBloom was the one to knock on the door.

Spike, Twilight’s little brother and assistant answered. He scowled. “What do you three want?” He was about the same age as them, if not older.

“We came to see Twilight. She around?” The youngest Apple asked.

He sighed before yelling up the stairs, “Twilight, the brats are here to see you!”

“Well it’s nice to see you too, Spike.” Sweetie Belle said, rolling her eyes as she pushed past him. She knew all about his crush on Rarity, and she didn’t like it one bit. To her he was a jerk, and undeserving of Rarity’s love.

He glared at her, and she glared right back. To him, the only thing standing in his way besides the age gap was Sweetie Belle. Scootaloo and AppleBloom didn’t understand their feud, because they knew their sisters liked each other but had no feelings about it. As long as their sisters were happy, they were happy. Spike eventually went upstairs, but soon the librarian herself appeared.

“Hello girls!” Twilight called as she came down the stairs. She lifted up the safety goggles on her face and stuck her hands in her lab coat pocket. “What brings you guys here so late in the afternoon?”

Applebloom looked at her watch. It was about three o’clock. What makes that so late? “We came to see what you do to get relaxed when you're stressed out.” she responded.

Twilight thought for a moment. “Well, I usually just lay down in bed with a good book.”

“HA!” Scootaloo shouted at the other two girls.

“But when I’m really stressed out from all my experiments and learning about friendship, I have Spike give me a backrub.” She added, sighing dreamily. Spike was a really good masseuse.

The girls shared a look. None of them were good at giving back rubs. Another dead end they supposed.

Twilight rolled her shoulders. “Come to think of it, I have been in my lab all day. Maybe I should get one of those back rubs right now.” She throws her lab coat on the railing and takes off her shirt. “Spike! I’ve got a job for you!”

The girls hear an annoyed groan before they hear the door to Twilight’s bedroom slam shut.

“So? Now what?” Sweetie Belle asks, smirking. Spike giving Twilight back rubs? Oh wait till Rarity hears this!

“To Sugarcube Corner!” Apple Bloom says, pumping her fist in the air.

“No! Let’s go see Rainbow Dash! She probably has a really awesome way of relaxing!” Scootaloo responds.

“Well Sugarcube Corner is on the way to RD’s house so Pinkie Pie it is!” AppleBloom decides as they all run out the library.

Sugarcube corner was packed by the time they got there, full of customers chowing down or ordering for different reasons. Pinkie was behind the counter, taking orders and calling out completed ones as she balanced a cordless phone to her ear. The party planner blew a poofy pink curl out of her face before holding up a finger to tell the girls she’d be right with them in a moment.

After putting in two more orders, a graduation cake and a birthday three tier, she made sure to write down the person on the phone’s number so that she could call them back when their order was done before clicking the end button.

“Hiya girls! What can I do for you today?! Would you like a cupcake?” She bubbled cheerily, shoving the treats in their faces on a tin tray. The girls shared a look before shrugging. They knew their sisters would disapprove of them having so much sweet stuff before dinner, but since they weren’t there they figured it didn’t matter.

“Mmmm. That was so good!” Scootaloo hummed as she licked the vanilla frosting from her fingers.

AppleBloom sighed in content before speaking up. “We came here ta ask you what you do when you get stressed but,” She looks around herself at the busy sweets shop, “You seem to never get stressed.”

“Oh I get stressed!” Pinkie assured her. “When I’m working on late night orders and watching the twins, and sometimes I have to do both at the same time! Do you know how hard it is to watch two 4 year olds and ice a four tier double chocolate wedding cake without getting them mixed up?!”

The crusaders shook their heads.

Pinkie sighed.”When I am able to get a moment to myself, I like to watch reality shows with Gummy and eat ice cream.” She licked her lips. “I wish I could do that right now! Don’t you girls-” But when she looked up, the girls were gone. She shrugged, before picking up the phone again as it rung.

“Again! Nothing!” Sweetie whined. It was getting late, and they’d have to return to the farm soon.

“Rainbow Dash!” Scootaloo said.

AppleBloom rolled her eyes. “Yeah, Scoots, Ah get it. You want to go to RD’s.”

Scootaloo tugged at her arm. “No, look, it’s Rainbow Dash!” She said again, pointing excitedly to the latina who was walking along the road, whistling.

They ran up to the athlete. “Hey! Rainbow!” Scootaloo called excitedly.

The older girl smirked. “Hey, squirt. Sup, AB, Sweetie Belle.” She said greeting them all. “What do you need?”

“Well, we were wondering if you could tell us what you do when you get stressed!” Scootaloo explains, jumping up and down excitedly.

Rainbow rubbed the back of her neck. “I mostly run laps. That usually clears my head. Or I’ll go over to Sweet Apple Acres for a drink with Applejack.”

Sweetie Belle looked confused. “A drink of what?”

Rainbow waved her off. “You’ll find out when you’re older.”

AppleBloom huffed. “She’s talking ‘bout the cider mah family makes every harvest. There’s a whole batch of it stored in the basement for when company or family comes.”

Rainbow nodded.

“Well I’m not up for any running.” Sweetie remarked.

“And we’re too young to drink.” Scootaloo sighed.

“So....Fluttershy?” AppleBloom asked.

Scootaloo sighed again. “Fluttershy.” She waved goodbye to Rainbow before making her way back to her scooter.

“Hey, Apple Bloom! Make sure to tell your sister I’m coming over later!” Dash shouted as they sped off.

“Ah will!” She yelled.

“They’re gonna get drunk and wrestle again aren't they?” Scootaloo asked, shuddering.

“Most likely.” Applebloom responded, sighing.

“Wrestle....?” Sweetie Belle asks.

“Oh it’s this thing our sisters do when they drink too much of their special cider.” Applebloom explained.

“Special cider?” The young girl repeats.

“Yeah there’s a lot of banging and moaning going on. So me and Bloom just think they're wrestling.” Scootaloo tells her.

Sweetie Belle didn’t know if she was being pranked or not. Surely the girls knew what their sisters were doing, right? How could they not? “Guys, they aren’t wrestling. They’re having se-”

“Look, there’s Fluttershy’s cottage!” Applebloom shouts, cutting Sweetie Belle off. The girl sighed. Maybe one day they’ll figure it out for themselves.

They rapped on the door, and heard Fluttershy’s soft voice tell them to come in. They walked in and saw that she had just finished giving all of her animals dinner.

“Hi girls. Would you like a carrot?” The animal lover asked offering each girl one.

The girls took the vegetables and began to munch on them. They couldn't possibly ask Fluttershy what she does when she gets stressed out. The girl was the epitome of calm. She really didn’t have anything to be stressed about. Especially not with a weapon up her sleeve like ‘The Stare’.

But, alas, they felt like they needed to know anyway. “Um, Fluttershy?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Yes Sweetie Belle?” She answered smiling.

“What do you do to relax when you're stressed out?”

Fluttershy thought for a moment. “Well I do some deep breathing exercises. But I usually go over to Applejack’s for a drink.”

“You wrestle with them too?!” Scootaloo blurts.

Fluttershy looked genuinely confused. “Wrestle?”

Sweetie Belle puts a hand over her mouth. “U-uh, don’t mind her! She’s had too much to eat today! Um, anyway thanks Fluttershy!”

“H-hey wait I wanna know if she knows about the wrestling!” Scootaloo yells as Sweetie Belle drags her out the door.

AppleBloom gave her an apologetic smile before leaving to join the others. “Welp, that’s it girls.” She says. “That’s everyone on the list.”

“Everyone except Applejack! C’mon! We’re going back to Sweet Apple Acres!” Scootaloo says.

Sweetie Belle sighs. “As long as you stop calling it wrestling. They’re not MMA fighters. They’re girlfriends for Celestia’s sake.”

“Don’t girlfriends wrestle?” Apple Bloom asks.

“Oh jeez.” Sweetie Belle mumbles. Then, “To Sweet Apple Acres!”

By the time that they got there Celestia’s sun was slowly setting but not completely. The three crusaders sighed heavily as they made their way inside. Big Mac had already come in from the orchard and was sitting at the table enjoying some cider as he read the newspaper.

“Hay big brother!” AppleBloom greeted.

Big Mac simply nodded at her then said, “If yer lookin’ for Jack she’s upstairs taking a shower. Rainbow’s comin’ over.”

“Thanks.” AppleBloom responded.

The older man got up and stretched before pointing to the pitcher on the table. “That there ain’t regular cider. That’s yer sister’s alcoholic cider. Don’t ya’ll touch it or she’ll have a fit.”

They all nodded. Applejack angry was a force to be reckoned with.

“Alright. I’m going out to the barn. Tell Jack when she comes down.” And with that, Big Mac was out the door.

A moment of silence set in. Sweetie Belle didn’t even have to ask to know what was going to happen next.

“We’re going to drink some of this cider aren’t we?”

A nod from both of them.

“Even though Applejack will grab her favorite shotgun and kill us?”

Another joint nod.

Another sigh from Sweetie Belle. “Fine, pass me a glass.”

“Yes!” Scootaloo cheered. “I can’t wait to see why they love this stuff so much!”

AppleBloom poured them and herself a glass before they all agreed to take a sip at the same time. The three of them chugged their first glass down before downing another.

Without realizing it though, within a matter of minutes they finished the entire pitcher. To make matters worse, the three of them were incredibly drunk.

Applejack came downstairs in her towel to see the girls asleep at the table and her pitcher empty. Oh they were going to pay. She banged on the table, making them shoot up and stare at her in horror when they realized who had woken them.

“Ya’ll are drunk, aren’t ya’ll?!” she shouts.

AppleBloom is brave enough to open her mouth. “No ‘er not.” She slurs.

Applejack grabs her by her ear. “Ah’m not even gonna let Granny deal with ya. Ah got my own punishment for you all.” She decides, smirking.

A few minutes later the Cutie Mark Crusaders found themselves tied to apple trees in the orchard in pitch darkness. Luna’s moon had risen, and in the orchard during the nighttime it wasn’t very bright because of all the foliage.

“This is the last time I ever listen to you two idiots! And we still didn’t get our cutie marks!” Sweet Belle shouts as she struggles against the ropes. But it was no use. Applejack was a ten time rodeo winning champion who could hogtie a pig in a matter of seconds. Her rope skills were scary.

Applebloom shakes her head. “You keep saying that but then listen to us the next time anyway!”

“Do you have any idea what Rarity will do to me?!” Sweetie Belle shouted over her.

“What the heck is worse than being tied to a tree in the middle of the freaking night?!” Scootaloo asked, glaring at her. She couldn’t just pin this on her.

“What’s worse than being almost live bait for timberwolves?!” AppleBloom agreed.

“Rarity pins me to the ground and sits on me for an hour!” Sweetie Belle cries, still trying to break free.

“At least she doesn’t make you do push ups! With her on your back!” Scootaloo countered.

“Wait, wait, shush, ya’ll hear that?” Applebloom shushes them as she hears a strange sound in the trees around them. It sounded like rustling leaves, but quickly started to sound like footsteps.

The girls began to scream, thrashing around on the trunks.

Applejack watched from the porch and smirked. Serves them right. They shouldn’t mess with her cider.

Rainbow Dash appeared beside her. “Don’t you think you’re being a little harsh on them with the whole tied to a tree thing?”

Applejack waved her off. “What Ah did is nothing compared to the hangover they’re gonna have in the morning.”

Author's Note

this was a one shot about the CMC i had been working on for a few weeks now. I had finally decided to finish it so yeah this is the result. hope ya like it! :)