The Celestial Guard

The room was shaking, as if some earthquake was coursing through it, but there was no earthquake. Swift Hooves groaned as he woke up.

Where am I? Don't panic, I need to relax and find out where I am.

He let his training kick in, he looked around. The walls were made of a fine oak and there were benches for sitting, and a very familiar trunk in the corner. Walking over to a window he was shocked, the ground was moving at insane speeds as the building he was in stood still, or was it the other way around? He just looked out the window, watching the world past by. Then a mare behind him giggled.

"I see you're awake. Did you sleep well?"

Swift turned around and saw Celestia, then turned back to the window, watching a tree pass by like a little colt would.

"It's a train."

"What?"

"This contraption we're on, its called a train."

"Since when did ponies have strange rooms that move?", Swift was still looking out the window.

"A bit, things have changed a bit."

"You don't say.", replied Swift, his muzzle following a bird which was flying beside the train.

"Ahem."

Swift turned around to Celestia, "Is something wrong?"

"Just how exactly are you here?"

"Huh?"

"You died, I saw it, the guards saw it, just how?"

"Ummmm...."

LIE

LIE

LIE

LIE

LIE

"I...I don't remember."

"Nothing? Nothing at all?"

"Sorry, nope."

"What about your left eye? I guess you don't remember that either?"

"No."

Celestia sighed, while it was a bit unnerving to see a dead pony walking again, at least it was him. An awkward few minutes ensued, then Swift Hooves spoke up.

"Where are we going?"

"Ponyville."

"Where's that?"

"The outskirts of Canterlot, its relatively new."

"But aren't we going to stick out?", ask Swift Hooves.

"No, we will be disguised as two archaeologists who are taking a break in Ponyville. You will be disguised as Fossil Tooth and I will be your partner, Opabinia."

Celestia's horn began to glow, in a flash of light she assumed the shape of a normal looking unicorn mare, with brown  fur, black mane and blue eyes. The sun cutie mark was replaced by a pick and an ancient arthropod. Then she looked at Swift expectantly.

"Your turn."

A flash of golden flame engulfed his body, replacing him with a stallion of a slightly shorter height(as his normal height would stick out a bit.) He now had green fur and a brown mane, his cutie mark was also similar to Opabinia, instead it had an insect encased in amber.

The train jutted to a halt and steam hissed. Celestia lifted up her trunk and Swift's trunk(which was prepared by her.) She then grinned as she said,

"Let's meet the locals."

Later,

The two walked down the street, passing a multitude of ponies who greeted them, then warned them about the "Pink Menace" and continued on down the street. Eventually they reached their house, it was like all the other houses in Ponyville, a two floored house with a thatched roof. The first floor contained a decent kitchen/dinning room and sitting room, the second floor had a bathroom and two separate bedrooms. It was fairly similar to other houses beside.

"How did you afford this, did you take a plunge into the Royal Treasury?"

"Don't play games, you actually did take a plunge into the Royal Treasury!"

"That wasn't my fault, Starswirl got me drunk!"

"And you didn't enjoy it?"

"...........only after."

Celestia giggled at that, Swift was cute like that. Wait did she really think that he was cute?!

"So wha-"

"HIAREYOUNEWHERE?????CAUSEIKNOWEVERYPONYHERE,EVERYPONYHEREANDIDONTKNOWYOU!!!!!!!!!!!."

Swift Hooves screamed like a little filly, and banged his head against the wall, knocking himself out, ...again.

Opabinia laughed, this was one of Twilight's friends, Pinkie Pie. The pink fur ball turned her reading to begin her verbal bombardment, Opabinia swiftly put her hoof to Pinkies mouth while stifling a laugh. She waited for her to relax before removing her hoof.

"Hi what's your name?"

"It's Pinkie Pie, and I'm going to be hosting your welcome to Ponyville party! I'm so excited, its not everyday somepony comes to stay here. By the way, how long are you here for!"

"Only for 2 weeks."

The stallion groaned as he rolled to his side.

"Oh I'm sorry mister for knocking you out, I didn't mean to, and your marefriend has been so nice to me!"

"Oh thanks, wait what?"

"Your marefriend?"

Opabinia and Fossil Pick both blushed and chorused, "We're not dating."

"Oh really, because you two look like the perfect couple!"

20 minutes later,

"Well that worked, we just about shook that pink demon of our tracks."

"Yes, but we still have to go to the party tonight.", replied Celestia.

"Great.., what now?", responded Swift Hooves.

"We have too meet the major."

10 minutes later,

"It's a pleasure to meet you Mr. and Mrs.?"

They both blushed.

Opabinia said, " We're not married"

Fossil Pick said, "Just colleagues."

"That's all."

"Nothing more."

"What so ever."

"Yep."

"I concur."