Kiss of the Dark Pt.2

Chapter 6

Pinkie Pie sat at the counter of Sugarcube Corner. Around her, the Cakes baked and restocked the shelves, and the customers ordered food. Come to think of it, she probably should have been paying attention to that.

“Sorry, Pokey. Kinda zoned out there for a second. Could you try that again.?”

“Oh, sure! Just some coffee, one sugar, one cream. And a cinnamon roll, please.”

“Gotcha.” Pinkie expected him to find a table and wait for him to tell her his order was ready, but he kept standing around the counter. He seemed… sad, sorta. She didn’t like when her friends were sad. She was about to ask why he seemed sad, but he beat her to it.

“Pinkie, are you okay?”

“Yeah, just peachy. Why?”

“Well, you don’t seem yourself. Usually you’re all happy and bouncy and yeparoony, but today… You look like somepony put salt in your coffee, instead of sugar.”

“Sorry, just… It’s been a hard couple of days.”

“You… didn’t actually put salt in your coffee, did you?” That got a little giggle out of her.

“Silly. And I only did that once.”

“Alright. And you’re sure you feel okay?”

“…Kinda.”

“Kinda? Look, Pinkie,” He leaned over the counter, into her eyes. “Pinkie, when you’re down, so’s the rest of Ponyville. But you gotta remember, Pinkie, everypony in Ponyville’s your friend. You can tell us anything, alright? We’re here for you, and whether you need a shoulder to cry on or somepony to throw a party for you instead, you just gotta ask. We’re worried about you.” He punctuated the last sentence with a hug across the counter, which Pinkie eagerly returned.

Which, considering just how far Pokey was leaning over the counter, may not have been the best idea. “Twitchy tail!” was just about all Pinkie could squeak out before they both landed with a thump. They lay there in shocked silence for a second, before Mrs. Cake popped out of the kitchen.

“Pinkie, the new load of donuts are out of the oven, and- um.” She looked over the scene. “Pinkie, I’m pretty open-minded, but I’m pretty sure that’s against the health codes this close to the kitchen during business hours.”

“Hiya, Mrs. Cake! Pokey wanted hot coffee, with sugar and cream!”

“…I’m sure he did. But can you keep any poking on that side of the counter? And preferably out of the view of foals?”

“Gotcha, Mrs. Cake!” The plump mare in question backed into the kitchen, snickering to herself. Pinkie did a quick somersault, taking Pokey with her, and landing perfectly on her hooves. Pokey found himself on the other side of the counter, and dizzy.

“…Okay. Uhm… Pinkie, I’m not sure if you were just going with the flow or not, but if you want that kind of attention too-“

“Aww, thanks Pokey! And I might just take you up on that offer, later.”

“Hey, whatever makes Pinkie act like Pinkie again.” He gave her another smile, and began trotting towards a nearby table. Mr. Cake exited the kitchen, carrying a tray with a cup of coffee to the counter, and he gave Pinkie a look.

“Pinkie, why is my wife suddenly giggling like a schoolfilly?”

“…No idea, Mr. Cake!”

“Weird. Anyway, the cinnamon rolls are gonna be a couple minutes. We’re gonna have to make ‘em from scratch.”

“Okie dokie lokey Mr. Cake!” With that, he disappeared into the kitchen again, leaving Pinkie Pie with her thoughts. She had some good friends, she really did. More than the girls, too, although after that, the only thing that could really make her any happier than she already was-

“Pinkie! In here!” Was hissing her name quietly from the basement door! She glanced around Sugarcube Corner again, and seeing only Pokey carefully using a level on his horn, ducked into the basement. Twilight shut the door behind her without a peep.

“Twilight!” She squeaked happily, practically crushing the purple unicorn with her hug. She tensed up really weirdly for a second, but she settled back into it afterwards, so Pinkie didn’t fault her that. “It’s so good to see you Twi! The Princess was saying all these meany mean things about you, like you’d gone evil and eloped with that meanypants Sombra and killed a bunch of guards and totally blew off Cheerilee’s birthday party and how’d you get in the basement anyway, silly? That’s weird, even for me, and I’m Pinkie! So if I’m saying it’s weird, then its super humongous extra duper weird! But we gotta go tell everypony you’re okay, and Pokey’s right upstairs and he doesn’t really know you personally but I’m pretty sure he’d be happy too and-“

“Pinkie! I’m happy to see you too, but bring the motor mouth down a gear, all right?”

“Yeppers!” And then she down next to her on the steps. Although she tilted her head pretty quickly to look at her from another angle. “Twi, have you been using weird eyedrops or something? Did you go off prescription? I did that once, which was really confusing, because I don’t have a prescription.”

“What? Eyedrops?”

“Youse got green eyes, Twah!” Pinkie said, in an odd accent for seemingly no reason. “An’ the onley otha ponay ah know wit’ green eyes is dat meany-pants Sombra!”

The voice of another pony, a stallion with a weirdly husky growl, came from further down the stairs. “I’m not quite sure what ‘meany-pants’ means, but I can infer enough that I should feel insulted.”

Pinkie gasped. “Ooh! I don’t recognize that voice! That means new pony! Or it’s Bon-Bon again! Is that you, Bon-Bon?”

“Who?”

“Omigosh it’s not Bon-Bon new ponyyyyy!” Pinkie Pie was halfway to the door again when she found she wasn’t moving anymore. She looked down, and discovered she was floating. “Wheeee! Twi! New pony! I can fly now! I mean, I could before with my Ornithopter, but now I can do it all on my own! Yehaa!” And with that, she kicked off the wall and spun around in a circle.

“Pinkie.”

“Yes Twilight?” She stopped in midair somehow, defying one of the laws of physics. She wasn’t sure which one, but she knew she had to set an example to keep all the others in line. And it was kind of a dick, ‘cause it was always screwing up her party artillery trajectories. So really, screw that law, it could go eat… something not very nice! Like a peanut butter cupcake! Eugh, peanut butter.

“Pinkie? You just stopped and started blinking to yourself, like Gummy.” And also, she was upside down. And Twi’s horn was glowing. Oh, wait a second…

“Twilight! First, I’m not, although I aspire to be and greatly admire the Winslow, actually the Winslow. Second, why’d you stop me? Doesn’t the new pony want a party?”

“Pinkie, I think some ponies would get very angry and murder-y if they knew who the new pony was.”

“My Queen, how do you know this pony again? She confuses me, and makes me crave rock candy. But she primarily confuses me.”

“Oooh! You like rock candy? Then I know what to serve at your party! I bet I could make a cake out of rock candy! But I don’t know what to put on the cake! Who are you again?” There was the sound of a chuckle, and the new pony spoke again from the shadows at the bottom of the steps.

“Hmm. I’ll give you a hint.” And then, a pony loomed out of the darkness, purple mist curling from his eyes and teeth like razors and fur like pure shadow and omigosh it was Sombra! Who then croaked out, “Cryyyyyystalsssss…” just like in the Crystal Empire!

“Ahhhhhhh! Twi! It’s Sombra! He’s come to eat my suntan lotion, just like I dreamed! Twi, he’s evil, we gotta get Dashie and Aj and Flutters and… Why is he laughing? And not an evil villain laugh?” And just like she said, he was what one could only really call mildly mischievously snickering. Which wasn’t evil. Dash rated that on a good day.

“Hehehehe… Oh, it’s been too long. I needed that. I changed my mind, my dear. The Pink One can stay, for she amuses me.”

“Grand.” Twilight deadpanned. Pinkie screwed up her face for a second, thinking. It wasn’t hard, it was just for appearances, because ponies always knew that when another pony makes that face, they were thinking. Or constipated. Which would be kinda awful upside down.

“Weeeeeeell… You did kinda enslave a buncha ponies a thousand years ago, you’re kinda thought of as public enemy number one at the moment… But Twilight obviously likes you, and you know how to laugh without sounding inherently evil… Okay, I’ll give you a second chance! But you better not screw up your party just to be mean, buster! Or be mean in general! Or I’ll call you a meanypants again! And then we’ll kick your patooty!”

Sombra just smiled at her for a second, before saying, “That’s may be the cutest threat I’ve ever heard. Twilight, if all of your friends are like this, I’m rather in support of this plan now.”

“Works for me! Twi, can you let me down now? And not in the mopey way, in the no-longer-being-held-up-by-magic way!”

“Are you going to go out there and set up a party, drawing attention to the fact that Sombra is now in Ponyville?”

“Nope! Also all the blood’s going to my head.”

“…Fine.”

“Yay!” As soon as she hit the stairs, she bounced down to Sombra and gripped him in a bone-crushing hug. “Think of this as a ‘Welcome to Ponyville pre-party’! You’re gonna get another bigger party later though, I Pinkie Promise ‘cause you’re acting like a friend now, and I like having friends!” Almost as soon as she had hugged him, she was gone again, leaving only a Pinkie-shaped cloud of dust and a small cloth bag hanging off Sombra’s horn. He pulled the drawstrings apart, to find… Oh! Rock Candy!

Pinkie Pie had reached the top of the stairs once more, but hadn’t opened the door yet. “Twi, quick question?”

“Yes, Pinkie?”

“You’re gonna go find the rest of our friends now, right?”

“Yeah, I wanted to tell you girls I’m okay. And see if you were still my friends.”

“Of course we are, silly! ‘Cause the Twilight Sparkle we know wouldn’t really kill a bunch of guards and wound Princess Celestia! We’ll always be that pony’s friends, and you’re that pony!”

A weirdly forlorn look came over Twilight’s muzzle. “Yeah… I’m that pony…”

“Yippee! Everypony’s being nice today! Gilda’s back in town, and from what I saw, she’s being nice too!”

“Wait, Gilda’s back in town?”

“Uh-huh! And a buncha other Gryphons besides. They’re all wearing armor, and they’re not being very nice, but I sure hope Gilda is…”

“Why’s that?”

“’Cause she was leading Dashie and AJ and Flutterbutt to Sweet Apple Acres earlier! They looked like they were up to something, but I didn’t get to ask what, I was on my shift! Oh! My shift! Omigosh, I’ve been down here a really long time! I bet poor Pokey’s gonna be jonesing for his Cinnamon Roll by now, and the Cakes are gonna be wondering where I ran off to! Sorry Twi, I gotta go, duty calls!” And in a blink, she was back outside the basement, back at the counter. She could just hear Twilight say something along the lines of, “Oh… kay…”

And just in time too! Mr. Cake poked his head out of the kitchen, and looked at her. “Hey Pinkie. Everything alright up here? Been kinda quiet for a while.”

“Yeppers Mr. Cake! I had to go talk to a purple Unicorn in the basement, but I’m back now! What’d I miss?”

He glanced back at the rest of Sugarcube Corner. The only thing that had really changed was that Pokey had gotten his cup of Coffee from the counter, and was sipping it while reading a newspaper.

“Doesn’t look like much. Cinnamon Rolls are done, tho. I’ll bring those out.”

“Okie dokie lokie, Mr. Cake!”

“So, Squirt and the others won’t mind us using this?”

“Nah, they’re at Rares’. Woulda used the barn, but Big Mac’s in there now fixing one’the wagons. ‘Sides, ain’t nothing wrong with using the clubhouse.”

“Dash, if you wanted us to be this close you just hadda ask… Although doin’ it in a filly’s clubhouse is kind of a turnoff for me.”

“Eep!”

“Chill, Flutterbutt. Just jokin’ around. So what’s this plan, Dash?”

“Alright. So, let’s say Twi comes back to town.”

“Not ta take that train’a thought off the tracks ‘fore it leaves the station, but why would she do that?”

“’Cause I know Twi. Egghead can’t stay away from her books for too long. And she’s, well, an egghead. Betcha she’ll sneak into town somehow. And we gotta help her out.”

“…Dash, you know I was stationed here to kill her on sight, yeah?”

“And are you going to, G?”

“No, but there’s one helluva difference between turning a blind eye to a friend of a friend and outright assisting a criminal.”

“Now hold up jes’ one second. We all know, present company exceptin’, that no way, no how, would Twi pull what they’re all sayin’ she did. Ah’m thinkin’ we ain’t got the whole story, an’ maybe she don’t either.”

“…This could all be a misunderstanding… Twilight didn’t kill those guards?”

“Sorry, Flutters. Our intel definitely said a buncha dead guards, but I don’t trust the part where it said it was your friends’ fault.”

“Shaky ground, G, shaky ground…”

“Sorry. Everything’s gonna be fine, Flutters.”

“…It’s okay…”

“So, as I was saying, our egghead’s gonna try to sneak back. So where do you think she’s gonna try to go first?”

“Shoot, reckon that’d be the library.”

“Boom. Problem is-“

“Problem is, all our squads were told to stay the hell away from the Library, ‘cause that was where the only Royal Guards in town are still stationed.”

“Thanks G. So, we have to let Twilight know somehow, and set up her stuff somewhere else.”

“An’ it’s gotta be somewhere none’a us have any solid connection to.”

“Wha- Applejack!”

“Whoa, nelly! Ah’m jes’ sayin, ya’ll proved we ain’t gonna do no good in jail. An’ where do ya’ll think they’ll search first?”

“…Fine. And we can’t pin it on anypony else in town either. I’m not tossing anypony in Ponyville out to dry.”

“…She can stay at my house… I don’t mind…”

“Flutters, don’ take this th’ wrong way, but ya’ll ain’t exactly a jailbird.”

“Snrk!”

“G…”

“Aw, come on Dash, the Apple pony made a funny! Can’t I laugh at that?”

“Jes’ tryin’ ta lighten the mood. Gotta have some humour, or it’ll all get depressin’ real quick-like.”

“…Fine. But seriously, anypony got any ideas? I didn’t think planning would be this hard.”

“Sugarcube, ya’ll are doin’ a mighty fine job anyhow. I’m sure Twi would be proud.”

“Nah, not really. She made all the best plans, ever since the first night we met her- Hey, wait a sec, that’s it!”

“Pardon?”

“Whut?”

“…?”

“Back when we first met her! ‘The Night that Lasted a Week’? We could set her up in the old castle, in the Everfree!”

“Dunno, Dash. Kinda remote.”

“An’ I did say th’ Everfree’s bein’ a bit more free than usual…”

“…Not that there’s anything wrong with it… well, maybe just a few teensy-weensy things…”

“No no, listen. You girls work here in town, being sneaky and collecting everything she’ll need, and I can fly back and forth to get it there! Fastest Pegasus in Equestria, remember?”

“…Shoot. Ah jes’ realized ah actually like Dash’s plan.”

“Isn’t that, like, a sign of the apocalypse or something?”

“Hey, AJ, G, come on, you were just saying how proud she’d be of me…”

“Ah know, ah know. We’re jes’ yanking yer reins.”

“It’s a …workable plan, Dash. I’ll see what I can do on my end, you read?”

“Cool. I’ll go scout it out, right? AJ, can you handle food and stuff, maybe some camping supplies? I didn’t see any beds last time we were up there.”

“Eeyup. Ah’ll see what we can get outta the stores.”

“Great! Meet back here in… what, an hour?”

“Copy.”

“You got it.”

“…Um… I’ll go tell Pinkie Pie and Rarity, if that’s all right… And you don’t have anything else for me to… oh, you’ve already left… Okay then… Go team? …Woo-hoo?”

Author's Note

Pinkie Pie literally writes herself.
(I'll leave it to you to speculate on just what I mean by that. But feel free ask Pinkie any questions you like in the comments below!)
Also, I'm trying one of Ayn Rand's tricks in the second half of the chapter. Lemme know if it's too confusing, I'll toy with it.