The Mane 6 Prison Chronicles

by Akasuna no Sasori

Rating: mature
Tags: Main 6, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 3588

The Mane 6 discuss the crimes they committed that landed them in prison.

The Mane 6 have done some very naughty things, and now, they must be punished by the Equestrian penal system.

Published 2013-07-08 01:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-07-08 01:40:01 UTC

Rainbow Dash's Story

“I was walking home from work with some friends and we decided to go to a nearby bar and relax a bit.

“When we got there, there was already a party in full swing over by the billiards tables. From what we could hear, it was some pony’s birthday.

“We just shrugged it off, and ignored the noise and drunk morons behind us and started drinking. That led to us talking and laughing, which we thought was normal. Then, we started to play drinking games and we just got louder.

“What we didn’t know, was we had gotten so loud, that some of the party ponies actually came over to us.

‘Hey, we’re trying to have a party over there! Could you lower your voices so we can have a good time?’ One of them told us.

“I was drunk as hell because of the drinking games we had been playing, and my judgement was a little off, so I exploded at him.

“Fuck you, asshole! This is a bar, and we can be as loud as we damn well please!

“The party ponies just looked at each other, probably thinking about whether or not to hit my drunk ass because I’m a girl. But it didn’t take ‘em too long to decide that I was worth it, so one of them slugged me right in the jaw.

“I got pissed, broke my beer bottle, and shanked him right in the ribs. The poor bastard started bleeding like a stuck pig, and his friends went and got the pool cues from the billiards tables.

“This was starting to get heated, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to fight ‘em all at once, but I tried anyway; probably since I was drunk.

“Come at me, douchebags! I’ll give all of you the same treatment as your friend here!

“There were 4 of them, so I decided I’d try to create a gust that would blow their weapons out of their hooves. Wonder of wonders, it actually worked! So I took advantage of their defenceless moment, and stabbed them all to death with the bottle shank!”

“So my friends panicked and fled the bar, I was still drunk so I had no idea what I had REALLY done. I just paid the barkeep and left.

“ I started flying home, when I was pulled over by a Cloudsdale cop, and he charged me with Flying While Intoxicated.”

“OK, so we all have life sentences, except Rainbow Dash, who deserves one, too.” Said Twilight.

“Hey! Shut the hell up! The barkeep said he didn’t see anything, so the case was dropped!”

Applejack rolled her eyes.

“Whatever, sugarcube. So, who’s going next?”

Fluttershy was beside Rainbow Dash, but didn't’ say anything.

“Alright, I’ll go next then, ya’ll. That means yer after me, Rarity!”

Applejack's Story

“As ya’ll know, the farm ain’t been doing too well lately. Last two harvests were smaller than most, and the zap apples haven’t come in at all for those two years.

“So the farm was losing a ton of bits, and we needed to make up for it. Big Mac decided he would plow another field and plant more saplings, lil’ Applebloom and her friends started to build a stage to put on shows, and Granny Smith didn’t do anything.

“All those ideas, ‘cept Granny Smith’s, were gonna take too long. So, I started to look for work in Ponyville. Problem was, every pony knew I was a farmer, and no good at city work. But ‘cuz I am a farmer, I’m strong as a mule, and after a week of lookin’, I found work at an underground fight club.

“I started fightin’ there a couple times a week, and the bits started to really come in. I got bruised up pretty bad here and there, but I made the money we been needin’.

“It was going great, until a few nights ago. I got a private contract to fight some big, bad stallion named ‘The Boulder’. I took the contract, since it was 1,000 bits to the winner. That’d be enough to get us back on track for next year and then some.

“The deal was pretty strange though, the contractor had me meet him and his fighter in a private-like place between two tall buildings, at night.

“He said I didn’t have to bring my sponsor, so I didn’t. That’s when I found out what the big deal was. His fighter was actually called ‘Steamroller’, and I beat his sorry hide in my third fight, so he was out for revenge.

“He told me he had some rather naughty pictures of me doing the cage fightin’ and he threatened to hand ‘em over to Princess Celestia if I didn’t do as he asked.

“His first term was that I throw a fight on purpose to his fighter, so he regains his glory. His second term was that I never do cage fightin’ again. That was strike three, so I told him to eat shit.

“He wasn’t happy about that, and told me I’d regret it. I should’ve listened.

“Long story short, while I was fightin’ the very next night, the Royal Guard busted me and the whole operation.

“That’s how I got here. Not very flashy, I know, but the cage fightin’ was still illegal, and because I made so much money illegally, they gave me a life sentence for it.

“Alright Rarity, it’s your turn now.”

Rarity's Story

“Well, I am a lady, but sometimes even a lady like myself must stoop low to stay alive.

“I was in a similar position like Applejack - my designs started to become out of fashion, and my customer count dropped. I knew I was going to be out of business in a few months. So, I decided to go job-hunting out in Ponyville.

“I am willing to get my hands dirty in a job if I must, but the jobs I was being offered were too much. A chef wanted me to be a garbage girl, the pathologist wanted me to dispose of the bloody remains. To both of them, I said good-day.

“Of course, I started to regret my decision, but it was too late at that point. I started walking home, when I came upon a foal running in the darkness. I stopped to ask him what the matter was, when two stallions came out of the darkness behind the foal.

“They told me that if I ‘saw nothing’, the 250 bits they were carrying were mine. I told him that I was looking for work, and if they could get me a job, the bits were theirs to keep. I suppose they saw an opportunity, because they took me up on my offer.

“They escorted me to a small shack on the outskirts of Ponyville next to the river. There was a dock with a boat covered by a tarp moored there.

“They took me inside with the foal, and showed me their operation. Turns out, they were involved in the slave trade. This was a profitable business, and I knew I had to get in to save my business.

“It was simple; those two brought in foals, fillies, stallions, and mares from somewhere, and I judged them to decide what they would become - field worker, kitchen worker, or, the most popular, sex slave, then sent them onto the boat.

“Once the boat had 12 ponies on board, it left to distribute the merchandise to all of the cities and villages across Equestria.

“The best part was the money: 100 bits for a foal or filly, and 300 for a stallion or mare; the occupation they took didn’t affect the price.

“It didn’t take long before I had a nice pile built up, and I was ready to leave. But the business was run like a gang - if you joined, it was blood out. Meaning, if I wanted to leave, I would have to die. So, I decided to stay for self-preservation reasons, obviously.

“After a few more months of smooth sailing, the boat was stopped by a customs officer at Manehattan. The captives were discovered, and the authorities turned the boat driver. He told the authorities where we were at, and we all got busted. The rest of the story I’m sure you already know.

“I’m done; it’s your turn now, Pinkie.”

Twilight Sparkle's Story

“So, I guess I’ll start from the very beginning. See, my experiments had been going great, and Princess Celestia had even been supplying me with ingredients to keep making potions, with!

“Princess Celestia kept giving me so much for free, that I had to thank her personally. So, one day I decided to go to Canterlot.

“When I got to the castle, Princess Celestia was overseeing the the unloading of some boxes from the delivery ponies.

“I asked her what was in the boxes, and she practically jumped out of her skin! She said it was nothing I needed to concern myself with, just some new chemicals she wanted to work with. That’s when she realized what she had done.

“Since she had been giving me so many chemicals for free, I asked her if I could take a sample to experiment with. She outright refused me, and told me they were too dangerous. I felt bad, but I told her it was fine with me, and I wouldn't’ bother her about it again.

“She apologized, and invited me to join her and Luna for tea, and I accepted. After we finished our tea, I bid the Princesses farewell, and began the long walk home. But all the time, I couldn’t help but think about what was in those boxes.

“After 3 weeks, I just couldn’t take it anymore. I had to have some of those chemicals to experiment with!

“So, I broke into the castle and made off with a whole crate. I opened the box at home, and saw several vials inside. They were labeled ‘Bacillus a.’

“I had no idea what it was, and I wanted to figure it out through experimentation. But I was tired, so I went to bed.

“The next morning, I opened one of the vials and noticed it was empty! It had nothing inside! I figured maybe Celestia had already used that vial, so I opened several others but they were all empty.

“I was upset that Celestia had used all of the chemicals I had stolen, but I just left the box in the corner and eventually forgot about it.

“After a year, I noticed the death toll in Ponyville began to rise. The ponies just seemed to drop dead with the same symptoms - a reddish-brown skin inflammation, and purple lesions covering the body.

“That’s when it dawned on me! I opened the box again, and took out a vial. The label was for a bacteria! The name on the label had been shortened because it was too long and couldn't fit! Specifically, the bacteria was ‘Bacillus anthracis’!

“I had released the airborne spore anthrax into Ponyville, and dozens of ponies died because of it.

“While I was walking out the door with the crate to get rid of the evidence, the Royal Guard caught me.

“So, that leaves you Fluttershy. What’s your story?”

Fluttershy's Story

“Well, um, I didn’t do anything, actually.”

“That’s what they all say, but we’re all guilty. Just tell us your story, darling.” Said Rarity.

“No, I mean I did nothing. I was charged with pitting animals against each other in fights to the death, but I didn’t do it!”

“You mean cock fightin’?” Asked Applejack.

“No, critter fighting, and it wasn’t me. It was Angel! He framed me!”

“Really?! You expect us to believe your RABBIT framed you for a crime?!” Said Rainbow Dash.

“He did! I have the proof right here!”

Fluttershy pulled a piece of paper from under her wing and passed it around.

“Read that, it proves my little funny bunny did it and not me!”

The others looked at the paper, and sure enough, it proved Fluttershy’s innocence! It was a bill of sale for 2 bears, 4 goats, and 2 ducks. The purpose wasn’t stated, but it WAS signed by Angel!

“I....don’t....believe it. Ya’ll actually are innocent!” Said Applejack.

“I told you, I was!”

“Wow, well it seems we all deserve to be here, except Fluttershy. But you know how our law system works: once you’re in, you’re in. You’re stuck here just like the rest of us.” Said Twilight.

“I know, but I just wanted you girls to know I was innocent.”

“That was so much fun! I loved talking about all the naughty things we did!” Squealed Pinkie.

“Oh, whatever! Let’s just go to bed!” Said Rainbow Dash as she crawled into her bunk.

The others followed suit, and the prison cell became quiet.

Epilogue

Because she was only charged with FWI, Rainbow Dash was released two days later. However, she went back to the same bar where she got drunk the night of her FWI, and started partying again.

There was no party this time, but Gilda was there. She recognized Rainbow, and threw a bottle at her head.

What resulted was an awful bar fight that resulted in Gilda being dragged off to the hospital, and Rainbow being hauled away to the morgue.

Applejack served the first month of her sentence well, until she started having problems with a gang of prisoners.

They tried to rape her, and Applejack, with her powerful strength she had built up cage fighting, kicked all 4 of their asses at once.

She served some time in solitary for it, but no pony ever bothered her again.

But one day, while she was lifting rocks onto the crusher, she dropped a rather large one on her hoof. It began to swell and turn a sickly blue-purple.

Her friends told her to get it checked out with the prison doctor, but she told them doctor's were for wussies.

The swelling turned to an infection, and the infection soon spread all across her body, and she died because of it. She had served only 2 1/2 months of her sentence.

Rarity had problems with prison life from day one. The clothing, the food, and the work upset her so much.

She complained about everything, and finally, an angry prison guard and her friends beat Rarity to death in the courtyard one night. She had only served three days of her sentence.

Pinkie Pie actually had a good time with the first part of her sentence. The other inmates loved to hear her jokes and stories.

She eventually made friends with everyone in the prison, even the guards.

Her sentence was reduced to only 25 years because of good behavior, and because she had made friends with the warden.

But when she got out, the foal she molested long ago was waiting for her outside of the prison. He pulled a knife out from under the jacket he was wearing and stabbed Pinkie to death.

Twilight wasn’t comfortable with prison life, but didn’t complain. She did her best to stay alive: offering sexual favors when necessary, even.

She served her whole sentence all the way up until she was 98 years old! But the way she died wasn’t natural like she had hoped.

She was waiting in line to get her food at lunch time, and accidentally walked past a new, young prisoner in front of her.

This prisoner took her action as a personal insult, and shanked her to death with a stone knife.

Fluttershy became known as the pony to go to for sex.

Because of her fear of every pony in the prison, she slept with hundreds of them so they wouldn't’ hurt her.

She might’ve served her whole sentence unlike her friends if it hadn’t been for one prisoner.

She had hidden a fork at lunch, and wanted to use it as a dildo. She shoved it deep into Fluttershy’s rectum, and punctured her colon.

Within hours, she bled out. She served 13 years of her sentence.

Prologue

“C’mon you hussy! Let’s move it already!”

The guard beat Fluttershy with her baton again, trying to force her to walk to her cell.

They passed numerous cells to their left and right, and the inmates were looking to get some.

“Hey, baby! I know what you need and I can supply it!”

“Get over here and lick my juicy cunt, slut!”

“Don’t listen to those losers, I’m the top dog here and I’ll treat you the way you deserve!”

Fluttershy tried to ignore their comments, but they still made her cry.

“Aww, now the new bitch is gonna cry?! Stifle those tears right now, or I’ll stifle ‘em for ya!” Said the prison guard as she pushed her baton into Fluttershy’s face.

They continued walking until they reached the end of the hallway. The guard opened the cell door and pushed Fluttershy in.

“Get to know your cellmates. You’ll be living with ‘em for the long haul!”

The guard locked the door and walked away laughing.

“Oh, well, um, I'm Fluttershy, and...”

She stopped talking when she saw it was her friends in the cell with her! Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Twilight were all there!

“Oh, no! You got arrested, too?”

“Yer damn right we did!” Said Applejack.

“I don’t get it. It was my first offence, but the judge still fucked me over.” Said Rainbow Dash.

The ponies grew silent, and didn’t say another word as Fluttershy sat down on one of the beds beside Twilight.

“What’s everyone in prison for?” She asked.

“I don’t mean to sound hurtful, darling, but it’s none of your concern.” Said Rarity.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I just...”

“We all got a life sentence, except Rainbow Dash. We may as well pass the time somehow; let’s go around in a circle and talk about what we did to get in here.” Said Twilight.

The others looked at each other, but just shrugged and moved closer to form a circle on the floor and beds.

“That’s better! But one rule first: no interrupting any pony while they are telling a story. Now, who wants to go first?”

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes.

“I guess I’ll go.”

Pinkie Pie's Story

“My story starts off like all good stories do-with cupcakes!

“I was working at Sugarcube corner one day, when the most adorable little foal and his mother walked in. She ordered a whole batch of my super-sweet and most-delicious cupcakes with extra sprinkles on top.

“By the time they left, I felt I had missed out on something. I didn’t know what, but it was really driving me crazy, whatever it was.

“So I waited until the same foal and his mother came back in a week later, and watched them intently. I finally figured out what it was, and, when they left, I made my preparations.

“That night, I snuck out of Sugarcube corner and went over to the the little foal’s house.

“I threw my grappling hook onto the top floor window, and climbed up. I opened the window, and snuck into the house. I was in the parents’ room, so I quietly caterpillared across the floor to the door and went into the hallway. I walked down the hallway, then into the little foal’s room. That’s when things got exciting.

“I walked over to his bed and looked down at him. What I had missed out was playing with the little foal. But not playing with him like I normally did with other foals and fillies. I wanted to touch and kiss his cute little body all over. So I took the covers off of him, and put duct tape over his mouth so he couldn't’ yell and ruin our fun time, just in case he didn’t like it.He woke up, but he couldn’t do anything, I was too strong for the little silly.

“I tied each of his legs to a corner of the bed, then got a cupcake-scented candle from my bag. I lit it, and let the warm wax drip onto his cute body. It was so fun to hear his agonizing screams.

“Next, I decided it would be fun to stick raw cupcake mix into his ears and nose. I also put some on his ‘thingy’, and licked it all off. It made him crazy!

“Finally, I stuck my tongue deep into his throat, while I covered his thingy with my thingy. I started hopping up and down, too! It was so fun!

“After I finished, I used a needle filled with M99 to knock him out. I packed up all my stuff, then hopped out his window.

“It was so fun, that I decided to keep doing it, until I had fun with ALL the fillies and foals in Ponyville! That’s when they caught me, but I still got to have a ton of fun! So I didn’t feel so bad!

Applejack got angry.

“Are ya’ll telling me you touched Applebloom?!”

Pinkie nodded excitedly.

“Oh, yeah! She had so much fun, she told me so after I was done!”

Applejack started to stand up, when Twilight got between them.

“Ok, let’s just move on to my story now. How about that?”

Applejack grumbled, but sat back down.

"Let's just get on with your story then, Twilight!" She said.