Princess Luna... The Drunk?
THE VISION!!! It Has Been Doubled!
"*hick* Go home Trollestia... You're drunk *hick*"
"LUNA! You are the one that's drunk... Now come home with me!"
"jezz... At least take me out to dinner first."
"THAT'S IT!!! I'm done... But remember little sister, I am the only pony who know the hangover spell."
~~ About an hour later at a completely different bar ~~
"Wha will wa doo wit uhhh drunken flyer; earwee in the morin" The Princess of the night (More like beer) was currently singing and dancing atop table while her guards are trying to coax her and get her down.
"Princess. Please come down." Said one of the bat guards.
"No!!! Who wants to see me body slam that guard into the table?" Sure enough the partisans within the bar cried out cheers of "DOOOOO IT" Luna then levitated the guard and put him the the table across from her. She then jumped into the air as everypony was cheering her on...
"Crack" was all that could be heard as Luna fell short of her target. The crowd was dead silent staring at the Princess... Sh wasn't moving. The bar tender then ran too her side. " Princess are you okay?" Nothing came from the alicorn. The bar tender then began to prod her with his hoof. "P-princess?"
Luna then jumped up shouting "Tardis yah!" Everypony in the bar than began to cheer and shout. Except for the bar tender.
"Get the fuck otta my bar princess!" Shouted the bar tender.
"No... No i wanna hang out with my friends."
"These arn't your friends... No pony wants to be friends with Nightmare Moon!" At that Luna began to cry. Remembering what she did to everypony. "Shh don't be sad... Look im sorry."
"I-its j-just t-t-that i h-hurt all those PONIES!" The bar tender then took a step closer. "A-a-a-and... FUCK YOU!" Now that the bar tender was close enough Luna hoofed punched him in the throat.
The crowd then began to cheer again as the bar tender fell to the ground clenching his throat. "Lets party all night bitches!!! And remember don't tell Celstia 'bout diss... Okay just keep... Shhhhhh" she said putting a hoof over her mouth for emphases.
After about 10 minutes and a good 17 beers later Luna was feeling slightly pumped. "Hey every pony up in 'er! Who wants to see me do uhh back flip of the bar counter?"
Not waiting for any conformation Luna then stumble her way to the bar counter and began her difficult climbed up it. "Damn why do bar counters have to be so tall?" Soon enough Luna made her way up and steadied herself. (She didn't she was so drunk she'd sway back and forth) "Okay... Start-the-count-down." By now Luna's guards have given up all hope too reason with and or stop her.
"3. 2. 1. JUMP!!!!!!!" Luna then flared her wings and jumped... Only to land on her back and have the wind knocked out of her. The crowd was dead silent looking to Luna's left side.
Luna with a dumb founded face on looked to her left side to see a compound fracture in her wing. "Did i just break my wing?" She then reached a hoof back and touched it but she retracted her hoof as soon as she made contact. "That's... THAT'S AWESOME!" The crowd then began to cheer again.
~~ A poorly banged wing and half the drinks in the bar later ~~
After quite some time somepony put a bit into the Juke Box.
"O my FAUST i LOVE THIS SONG!!!" Luna shouted taking a big swig of her hard apple cider that had been imported from Polska. Luna the proceeded to the dance floors.
Now her dancing wasn't exactly... Teen rated but im'ma tell you anyway.
Luna grabbed a random drunk Pegasus from the crowd and dragged him to the dance floor. She then forced the pegasi t stand on gis hing legs as the CM grinding master, Luna went to work
~~ After grinding and things im not allowed to say without this being a clopfic later ~~
After a slippery, sticky and wet dance floor. Luna left the pegasus she was grinding with on the dance floor and went over to steal a few drinks from the shelves behind the bar counter.
After stealing some drinks and putting the into her saddle age she went to the stage on the far right of the bar near the entrance. Walking (stumbling) up those step was enough to gather everyponies attention. Once atop the stage luna used her magic to turn off the Juke Box... Luna pulled a sheet of paper out of no where. It was something that only Pinkie Pie could do.
~~ Mean while at Twilight's slumber party ~~
"Pinkie darling, whats wrong?" Rarity asked. Pinkie had been staring into nothingness for the past while.
"There has been a disturbance in the force..." Replied Pinkie in an eerie voice.
~~ Back at the bar ~~
"Ahem" Luna was beginning to read the sheet of paper "I have enjoyed the company of you fine colts and mares within this fine establishment." You would have thought Luna was competently sober if it wasn't for the fact she reeked of beer. "But at last i must leave to attend another event. FUCK YA'LL IM GOING TO A REAL DANCE CLUB!"
Luna and her guards left the bar and were now in the middle of the street... Luna froze as the rain started to fall,"Your majesty are you okay?" Asked one of her guards.
"My vision."
"What about you majesty... Should i get a doctor?"
"My vision... IT HAS BEEN DOUBLED!!!!"
Author's Note
I might be Slightly drunk as i am writing this (Thank god for spell check) so any spelling mistakes will be fixed by my editor Major Rainbow Dash.
