(ch 1) Unfathomable Boredom
(ch 1) Unfathomable Boredom
Applebloom was bored. Not regular after-school-before-supper bored either. That was quick enough to dissapate as soon as the hayfries hit the table. No, this was serious. This was snowed-in-for-a-week-in-the-off-season-with-no-cmc bored. In short, possibly fatally bored.
The lemon yellow filly let out an exasperated sigh and surveyed the room. Shoved in the corner on a well scrubbed game table sat her big sister and Granny, the later cackling manically as she claimed yet another pot from her aggravated granddaughter. Applebloom wasn't so certain poker was the best game choice for the Element of Honesty.
On the other side of the room, curled comfortably in a patched and well loved arm chair was the stallion of the house, her brother Big Mac, looking the paragon of manliness peering over a pair of borrowed horn rimmed reading glasses needle in hoof, fussing clumsily over a pair of socks so holey they were were up for popehood at the next conclave.
At the foot of his armchair stood a precarious stack of coloring books, puzzle books, adventure books, even a few beginner how to books Granny Smith had given her on making birdhouses, each one filled in, solved, read, and absorbed. Applebloom was at a loss. Gown ups were boring. Inside was boring. Snow was boring. Every corner of this boring house was boring! By now she should have gotten her cutie mark in BOREDOM. Even WINONA wasn't doing anything, just sleeping under the chair.
Again Applebloom sighed. Louder. When that got noponies' attention she scooted towards her brother. For a few fleeting seconds, she became interested in what he was doing. Then she wasn't.
Pulling herself dramatically over the arm of the chair, she collapsed onto her brother's lap, sighing and groaning all the way as if boredom was literally killing her. (it totally was). Big Mac held his tatting job above the wayward filly and rolled his eyes.
"That's a good way to get pricked with a needle, I'm thinking." he belched in a slow, even monotone.
Over at the table Granny Smith was counting her last winnings (12 nails, 6 horseshoes and to AJ's endless annoyance, her precious hat) as AppleJack cut the cards for another game. "What's the commotion over yonder?" she huffed, her jaw set in frustration as Granny fitted her brand spanking new hat onto her head (backwards).
Applebloom slid down her brother's lap and lay on the floor like some kind of a limp yellow sponge. The only recognizable difference was that sponges are generally incapable of whining.
Applebloom let out a groan usually reserved for ponies passing kidney stones, all the while dragging herself to her sister's hooves. "I'M BOOOOOOORED."
"Read them books you got here." AJ said, without taking her eyes off the deck of cards in her hooves. She would beat that old green mare honest-like if it killed her.
Applebloom pounded her little hooves against her head in incompetent rage. "I reaaaad them aaaaaaaaall. Plaaaaay something with meeeeee."
Apple Jack peered at her impish grandmother with vengeance. Granny Smith had now righted the hat, and tipped it at a jaunty angle like a cowpony from the movies. Such villany could not be ignored.
"I'm a mite busy here, sis. Ask yer brother to play." AJ said, finishing dealing lifting up her new hand. "Celestia Dangit!" she said, stomping a hoof. Granny giggled like a filly.
Apple Bloom flopped back impotently to her brother, who was busy very much pretending that he was deaf and did not hear a word of the previous exchange. Brothers. Apple Bloom let out a noise somewhere in between a goat dying and a tea kettle whistling, and slowly Big Mac folded his still ragged socks, put down his needle, and folded his spectacles. Raising an eyebrow he cast his youngest sister a look.
Apple Bloom puckered out her lower lip. "Will you play with me, Big Mac?" she asked.
Big Mac scratched his chin as if in consideration. Applebloom leaned in close in anticipation. Big Mac takes a breath to reply and....
"Nope."
....And Apple Bloom wilted.
"Y'all are the BORINGIST family EVER!" she shouted before flumping onto the floor once more.
Grannie smith removed her prize hat from her head to scratch her head. AppleJack cringed as stray white hairs clung to the delicately woven surface. "Mercy child. When I was a filly, I was just glad not to be a Pony-cicle for the Timber Wolves this tima year."
"But Graaaaanny-"
"Don't Granny me none, youngin. Now if you are just dying for something to do, I got a scrap book upstairs that broke it's binding, and all them pages need putting back in order."
Apple Bloom sighed, but deciding a slightly boring activity was better than dying of ultimately boring nothingness, hauled her flank up the stairs to Granny's room. It smelled like Jelly and mothballs, and Applebloom crinkled her nose. Luckily it didn't take long to find the aforementioned pages; they were all piled haphazardly into a cardboard box beside the dresser. Apple Bloom grabbed it by the teeth and drug it back downstairs to be with the family. Without a flourish, she dumped it on the floor.
Pictures and pages came tumbling out. Young faces old faces, familiar and foreign assaulted her vision. One in particular caught her eye.
"Hay. Who are these two ponies with you guys?"
The picture showed in fading color a group of smiling ponies in their best finery standing starched, pressed, but very happy in front of a fountain. Three of them Applebloom could recognize. To the far right was Grannie in a lace collared dress and a pretty red bonnet. Down in the front was a lanky, skinny, colt Big Mac in a bow-tie and what had to be a filly Apple Jack, no older than Apple Bloom, hair in a top do, stuffed in a horrible pink dress, and smiling the biggest, fakest smile ever seen on Celestia's Blessed Earth, with her two front teeth missing to boot. That alone was worth a thousand years of teasing, but something bothered AppleBloom. Who were the rest of these ponies?
To the left were a blushing bride and her groom, looking absolutely darling in what had to have been a very expensive gown and tux. The bride was laughing open mouthed in a smile that could have burst her orange cheeks. The leg that was not draped around her groom was hugging tight to a beautiful light pink mare, her straw colored hair tied in a long braid and her belly swollen slightly with a gently showing foal bump. Beside her was a handsome, tall, freckled stallion smiling quietly, one hoof on Big Mac's shoulder.
"Lets see, kiddo." said the now grown up Big Mac. Apple Bloom passed the picture. Big Mac cracked a smile and chuckled. "Eeeyup. Thats us." he said, passing the picture to Apple Jack, who had put down her cards.
"But who are those other ponies?" Apple Bloom asked again.
Apple Jack, who now had the photo smiled. "Why, that'd be your Aunt and Uncle Orange and all of us on their wedding day. That was some reception, let me tell ya. That's who I went to stay with in Manehatten before I got my Cutie Mark. You remember that story, dontcha?"
Grannie Smith was smiling knowingly. "We got to remember to send them some Zap Apple Jam for Hearth's Warming Eve this year. For a high falootin lady that little Miss Orange Slice sure can put away some Jelly!"
The two older sibling snorted a laugh in reply, and Apple Bloom pouted. She hated to be left out of a joke, so she hijacked the conversation.
"Ok, but who are those other two ponies?" she asked.
The grown ups looked like they had been slapped.
Apple Bloom thought she needed to clarify. "The uh...the pink one with the foal bump, and the stallion with his hoof on Big Mac?"
Dead Pan silence.
Apple Jack was the first one to speak. "Apple Bloom, ya mean ya don't recognize them?" the filly shook her head. AJ looked pained. "That's Mom and Dad."
Author's Note
So there is the first chapter. I am going to try to keep it as lighthearted as possible. This is only my second fic, so anything worth pointing out to make it better please do :p
Ten years Prior
"Honestly, darling I fail to understand how one manages to completely deflate her main-do so quickly." said a petal pink pony to her squirming daughter. "Its only been a few hours."
"Maaaaamaaaa." a young AppleJack whined. "I ain't no showpony. Can't I just wear mah mane in a tie like I always do?"
The pink pony clucked impatiently, watching an errant bobby pin fly across the room in rebellion. (hard work, no pay, heck no, I won't stay!)
"Not if my little pony still wants to spend the summer in Manehatten. "
Apple Jack stuck her tongue through the gap in her teeth. The older pony snickered. "Now now, dear. You know how much Aunt Orange expects of others."
"You mean how much Aunt Orange has her head up her pl-" the sentiment was cut off by a vicious tickle attack, further undoing the hard work done on Apple Jack's doomed updo.
"Mercy mercy!" a red faced filly squealed, unable to escape her mother's iron tickle grip. The pink pony responded with a big wet kiss on her daughter's cheek.
"Oh my silly filly. Don't you ever change."
A green wrinkled face poked her head around the corner. "You two fillies still preenin yerselves?" asked Grannie Smith.
"NO." AppleJack squeaked.
The mare beside her chuckled. "We will be just a moment, Grannie Smith."
The old mare cast the two a voracious wink. "You better not be turning my grandaughter into no sissy girl, Miss Lady Bloom. That sister of yours is quite all this family can handle. Speaking of which, I'm supposed to tell you iffin you don't get your rump out for a picture by that fountain she is going to blow her pretty top."
The pink mare rolled her eyes. "Celestia forbid." With an approving smile Grannie Smith receded. "Come on you. Lets try one last time to get that mane together before your Aunty pops a blood vessel."
"Ugggggghhhhh"
*****************
Out by the fountain, three stallions stood resolutely watching as a red faced bride pouted at a picnic table. On one side stood a light orange stallion of a thin and delicate build, stuffed in a tux, his green mane greased back. On the other far side hunkered a pre-teen Big Mac, awkward, lanky, and thin; he was still however somehow larger than the green haired groom. (Big Mac, or rather at that point, simply Mac) was in a constant state of fidgeting. Should he lean on something? Should he cross his hooves? Was his tie too tight? He wished he could have gotten out of this whole thing. At least he was with his dad, who stood between him and the green haired groom. And when he was there, nobody would notice how awkward Mac was being.
Sunset Orchard. His mere presence alone filled a room (or in this case, a courtyard.) He was a massive malevolent force, the biggest stallion Mac had ever met. His coat was the color of burnt orange and rippled with muscles built of a life time of hard farm work. His feathery red mane fell in gentle waves out of his placid face. And if there were such a thing as pony polar opposites, Sunset Orchard and his new Brother in law Naval Orange were sure contenders. The only thing more different than these two stallion's builds were their mouths; Naval's seemed to never shut itself.
"- and so I said to the vagrant, I don't care what they told you before I am telling you now that I want white rice to be thrown at the end of the ceremony, not brown. I don't give a parasprite's ass about 'local availability'. I said white and I meant white. And can you believe that idiot pegasus still sent in brown? And of course nobody tells me until it's far too late for another order. I will tell you what, this would never have happened if we had had the ceremony in Manehatten like I suggested, but this is what my pumpkin sweet wanted, so I can't be to blame in..."
If there would have been an ideal time for Mac to drop dead, he figured now would be totally ok.
*****************
"There now, isn't that pretty?" said a beaming Lady Bloom to a huffing AppleJack.
"Didja put quite enough hairspray in? I think you could still undo this thing with a chisel." she snarled. Lady Bloom just smirked, poking the hairdo with a hoof. To her satisfaction, it stayed put.
"I think so. But if you are really concerned, I thought I saw some plaster around the corner. I could mix some up and dunk you in."
The filly stuck her tongue out at her teasing mother and blew a magnificant raspberry, who responded in kind. Lady Bloom jabbed her daughter playfully in the side. "Come on, cowfilly. Lets get this picture taken."
The two started forth, but it wasn't a few steps before Lady Bloom stopped suddenly, AppleJack nearly knocking into her.
"Mama, what are you.."
Lady Bloom looked over her shoulder beaming, and in a blink she was suddenly sitting on her hindlegs, grabbing for AppleJack's hoof and pressing it to her belly.
Then AJ felt it. It was not much, but it was there; it was a gentle thump from her mother's belly. Her little sister.
Now both of the ponies beamed.
"I was talking about names with Orange Slice earlier. She made a suggestion" she said softly. "What do you think of Babs Seed?"
AppleJack wrinkled her nose. "I don't like that one. Let Aunt Orange keep it for her own kids."
Lady Bloom snorted. "It does have a rough edge to it, doesn't it? Alright then. Do you have any suggestions?"
AppleJack screwed up her face in thought. Then suddenly, like a bolt out of the sky it came to her. "Applebloom."
Lady Bloom's smile widened even more. "Applebloom. Its beautiful." She grabbed hold of her filly and held her tight. "I love you AJ. More than Celestia loves her sun."
AppleJack nuzzled unto her mother's neck. "I love you too Mama. I promise to be the best big sister ever."
Lady Bloom nuzzled her right back. "Come on, you. The family is waiting."
****************
A light orange mare in a wedding dress slumped dramatically on a table. Beside her, fanning herself slowly with a makeshift fan was one of her sister's mother-in-law, Granny Smith. On the other side of her sat a bored photographer.
Orange Slice groaned. "What is taking them all so long." she griped.
Granny Smith smiled. "You be patient now, youngin. Lady Bloom's just tidying up your niece. I am certain they will be along shortly."
Orange slice looked around the courtyard. All the non-relative guests had already left the long reception, leaving a mess for the help and a stack of presents nearby. The family wedding portrait was the last thing on the list, then she could go on her honeymoon and start her married life.
But first she had to get this picture. It was family tradition...it was just a shame that the only family she was on good enough terms to invite to even carry on this tradition were her sister's. Orange Slice pouted harder. In fact, she was so busy focusing on pouting, she almost missed as Granny Smith shoved something under her nose.
A slice of bread smeared with some kind of rainbow jam.
"Take a bite, dearie. It will do you good to do something with your mouth other than pout"
****************
"- and I don't know where you were raised, but that is not the way we wear our tails to a business meeting in Manehatten. I don't care who your sister is. Learn some class or go back to Ponyville, no offence of course. And then he...."
Mac was sitting down now, his head resting on the cool marble siding of the fountain. He tried to keep his mind blank, but it kept lilting inbetween whatever nonsense his new uncle was saying and thoughts about school.
School made him very nervous, and thinking about it made him feel ill. It wasn't the classwork, he was well off enough there. No, it was a pony that made him nervous. A mare. She had just moved to Ponyville, and she sat right in front of him. Every time he saw that crimped pink hair or the flash of those braces when she smiled, he felt like throwing up. It was a mercy from Celestia that he got to miss a day of class for this, even if he was stuck in earshot of the worlds most rambling stallion.
Suddenly, as if on cue, it stopped. He looked up, and noticed Aunt Orange calling her new Husband over to taste something. Mac stood back up and sighed, enjoying the silence, only for it to be broken a second later.
"It seems to me that folks talk the most when they ain't got anything to say."
Mac looked up at his father, who gave him a sly wink. Their father-son moment would not last long, however. The Apple fillies had returned, manes and makeup restyled and ready for a picture. Lady Bloom, beaming, joined her husband. Applejack trudged behind. After a quick wipe of the mouth, a smiling Orange Slice with her husband, a photographer pony, and Granny Smith in tow joined them.
A scowling AppleJack was jabbed into a smile and Orange Slice burst into a joyful laugh as Granny Smith covertly passed her another slice of bread and jam. With a snap and a flash, the picture was taken, the moment captured forever.