A Troublesome Life

So, I woke up, headed downstairs, and ate a breakfast Sweetie Bell prepared for me and Rarity… I then questioned if I needed to get my stomach pumped or not. She made us toast… which was just grey slop in a bowl. It tasted like the first cake I made. No wonder Rarity acted like she was eating, and enjoying, it. I just acted. It’s hard to smile when you feel like vomiting. I must say; if playing the guitar, or being a handy-stallion doesn’t work out, then I’m definantly going to go into acting.

I walked out, went to a tree, and puked into the knot-hole. I must say; the squirrels weren’t happy about it. They chased me as I ran from them. Who knew acorns could hurt so much? It must’ve been pretty comical, to see a full-grown stallion funning from a few rodents hurling acorns. While I was running I was wondering who could help me. I took in a deep breath and ran towards her house.

“Fluttershy!” I yelled. “Help!” I ran up and began to pound on the door. It opened, and the top of the mare’s head peaked out. I was panting when an acorn hit me in the side of the head. I was dazed with surprise, and turned just-in-time for another volley to pelt me in the face. I fell down, and felt a few tiny-claws on me. I looked down and saw the little squirrel that ran in front of the others. He began to yell… or… squeak at me. I tilted my head and furrowed my brow. He took this as an offense, and began to ‘yell’ in an angrier tone.

I looked back at Fluttershy, hoping for some sort of help. She just stood there, in her doorway, watching the little squirrel yelling. I then realized that the squirrel was tiny, and picked him up by the scruff of his neck with one of my hooves. I stood and held the squirrel to Fluttershy.

“These little nut jobs are pelting me with nuts.” I complained, smirking at my little pun. The squirrel squirmed. I became aware of the horrible smell emanating from it. I realized that it’s my fault it smelled so bad. Fluttershy looked a bit angry. She’s very shy, obviously, but she looked very threatening. Her eyes were giving me a cold stare, and I gave in.

“Okay, so, I may have… eh… thrown-up into their knot-hole…” I said, defeated. She took up the little squirrels and comforted them. I looked at the ground and kicked a hoof, feeling ashamed. I looked back up to see a closed door. I slumped my shoulders, turned, and trotted off.

While walking through one of the busier parts of town I noticed how hot it was. A lot of ponies were sweating and fanning themselves. It was also apparent that it wasn’t as busy today. It must’ve been too hot for anyone to want to go shopping, I suppose. I began to fan myself, trying to ‘beat the heat’. I saw Applejack with Applebloom at their stand. I trotted up.

“Hey, AJ, Applebloom.” I said, nodding to them both. Applejack was fanning herself with her hat, and Applebloom with her large bow. The nodded back in reply, obviously having been out here for a while, and too hot to think. I chuckled.

“Hot today, yeah?” I asked with the same reply as before; two heads nodding. I laughed at them, and trotted off, obviously not going to have a conversation. I saw a few ponies walking and talking about swimming. I smiled at the thought of cool water. I decided to follow along as they led me to an alley. I realized they had probably figured out I had been following them. They turned and faced me, glaring. My face grew flushed and I began to deviate from looking them in the eyes and the ground.

“Can we help you?” The mare on the left asked. She was a Pegasus with white fur and a light-blue mane. I felt like I’d seen her before, but I could’ve been wrong. The mare on the right was a unicorn with a pink mane and magenta fur.

“Uh… I… Well…” I tried, but was silenced.

“Why the hell have you been following us?” The mare on the right asked. I kicked the ground with a fore-hoof, and looked at the ground.

“I… I-I heard you talking about swimming… And… uh… Well, I’m relatively new to town, so I don’t know where I could go to cool off. A pool or beach sounded like a wonderful idea… So I followed you for guidance.” I said. No use in coming up with a lie, right? The truth is usually better than a lie. They seemed to understand.

“Come on, then. We’ll lead you there.” The one on the left said, waving a hoof to come near them. I reluctantly went up and followed along-side them. It was awkward. Very awkward, actually. I decided to try and break the ice.

“My name’s Strum, by the way.” I said, sounding a bit stupid. The magenta mare kept looking forward, but the white one gave me a little smile.

“I’m Eve.” She said simply. I gave an awkward smile back, and looked forward again. We arrived at a good-sized lake with ponies around it and in it. Some were sun-bathing and others were swimming or chatting amongst themselves. I smiled and nodded thanks to them. I trotted up to the water’s edge. I slowly stepped into the water and began to shiver at how cold it was. I submerged myself; a little trick to get used to the water’s temperature faster. I came back up, and took a breath, smiling. A beautiful day, swimming, and, not to mention, there were quite a few mares here. I splayed myself on my back, and put my fore-hooves on the back of my head. I floated gently across the water, enjoying the feeling of weightlessness. I looked at some of the others. Rainbow Dash was sitting, sun-bathing with Pinkie chattering next to her. I looked back up at the sky, looking at the few clouds floating gently across the sky.

I then got an eye-full of water, and the feeling of submerging. I breached the surface, coughing up a bit of water. I looked over and saw the two mares who escorted me here laughing. I chuckled, and splashed back at them. I felt like an idiot; having a splash-fight at my age. But, who cares? I would submerge whenever they tried to splash me back, and then come up for a counter.

“Truce!” I exclaimed, holding my fore-hooves up so they got the message. We laughed and they left the water. I went back to gently floating and relaxing. A few minutes later, I was aware I was no longer in water, but screaming and being carried through the sky. I had been snagged out of the water by a griffon, and I think I’ve said before that I’m not fond of heights. I was yelling at the top of my lungs, voice cracking, calling for help. I was then dropped. Now, about heights; it’s not the fall that scares me, just that I get nervous when around high areas. I felt the cold water, once more, envelope me. I came up, coughing and spluttering, hearing the laughing of my assaulter above me. I swam to the edge of the water, gasping and panting, dazed by what just happened. I just lay there, looking at the sky. I see the griffon’s head come into view, a grin on their face.

“Man; you’re such a big baby.” It said. I could guess by its voice it was female, but, I’d never met a griffon before, so I wasn’t too sure. I was sure I wouldn’t want to meet another if they all were like this. I remained silent, still processing and taking in air. She was laughing and insulting me. In time, I stood, cleared my throat, and looked at her.

“I’m going to shove a jagged piece of wood through your heart, you harpy bitch.” I stated casually. She blinked a moment, registering the insult, then shoved me with her talons.

“Watch what you say, or I may do the same, prick!” She yelled. I remained relatively calm, trying to keep my temper.

“I’ve been called worse by better.” I stated casually once again. She pondered it a moment.

“Was that an insult?” She said angrily. I smirked.

“No~, it was a complement.” I said sarcastically. Another shove, this time I fell into the water. I swam up to the surface, and looked at her, smiling. This seemed to make her angrier, as she was fuming. I looked around. A few ponies were silently watching the encounter. I turn back to the griffon.

“You’re making a scene, miss.” I stated, still smiling to piss her off. She let out a sort of growl and lunged at me. I went beneath the water as she smacked into it, going under as well. I came up slowly. I felt something fast and hard hit my gut, then felt something hard hit my back. I was now on land, breath knocked out of me, with the fuming griffon above. She raised one of her talons, and readied to swipe. The griffon’s form then disappeared in a swish. I looked up and to my left, seeing that Dash had tackled the griffon. I stood, brushed myself, and walked away.

Interesting day, to say the least. I went back to Rarity’s boutique, went to the guest room, laid on the bed, and just went to sleep.