A Troublesome Life

I woke up to a bucket of water being poured onto my face (Oh, and about my dream; I was dreaming of cheese. It’s a reoccurring dream that I have sometimes). I spluttered and coughed, and sat straight up. I looked up at the grinning face of Rainbow Dash.

“What the hell?! What’s your damn problem?!” I yelled at her. She began to laugh. My hoof went to the handle of my guitar case, as it could be used as a weapon when the time came.

“Why are you sleeping on a bench? And what’s up with your face?” She asked, still snickering.

“Oi! I had nowhere to stay! And my face? There’s nothing wrong with my face!” I yelled back. And, about the ‘oi’, it’s just something I’ll say to get someone’s attention, or when I want to yell at them. She laughed again.

“I don’t think you noticed, but check your reflection.” She said. I looked down at the new puddle, and saw my reflection. Someone had drawn on a fake mustache, glasses, and buck teeth. I rubbed it off, as the water had made it pretty easy to get off. I snarled, literally, as if I were a werepony. Dash laughed again.

“You don’t take jokes too lightly, do you?” She said, hovering in front of me. I looked up at her.

“When you’re on the receiving end; it’s usually hurtful, and PISSES ME RIGHT THE BUCK OFF!” I yelled. She flew back a bit in surprise at the last yell. A few ponies looked at me, my face grew hot, and I lowered my tone.

“No, I don’t take to jokes too kindly.” I said sternly. She laughed a bit more. I started to smile a bit. It was a bit funny. Okay, it was pretty funny. We laughed for a bit. I stood up, grabbed my bags, checked my things, and hauled it unto my back.

“Well, this is where we part ways, and I look for a job.” I said. Dash looked at me.

“You seem like a pretty strict guy, Strum.” She said, smiling. I let out a little sigh.

“Yeah, sometimes, but other times, I’m a cool dude.” I said, though, I sounded like a stoned skater. She laughed at me, and I laughed with her. I trotted off towards city hall. When I got inside, I instantly started to look for some sort of job board. Oh online games, you’ll always make me believe life is that easy. I wandered around, quite like when I first arrived.

“Uh, may I help you?” asked a mare’s voice. I turned to face a mare with green eyes, a white coat, and a long mane and tail that where a few shades of very light blue. I must say, she was quite attractive, but, I wasn’t here to get a date, I was here to get a job.

“Yes, I am looking for any open jobs, can you help me?” I said. I must say, that went well; I didn’t stutter, and I spoke fluently. I suppose my ego has caught up with my way of speech.

“Sadly, no, I can’t. You can go to a few stores and such around town and ask.” She said.

“All right, well, thank you for the help.” I said, and walked away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, I asked a few shop owners, and a few others, and they all turned me down. The thing is: word got around fast that I’m a homeless man, and that I sleep on benches. I was quite sad, as the only places to turn to were A) Rarity’s boutique or B) the spa. So, I thought, I either work at a place where dresses and suits are made, that’ll probably pay handsomely, or I work around a few beautiful mares for an exceptional pay, and having to tend to others. I thought long and hard. The chances were that I’d not get the job at the spa… The spa was hiring, and I had no clue if Rarity needed any help. I thought about who to try for first. The spa was my instant thought. All right-y then, was my reply. I trotted to the spa, with quite a high confidence.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My confidence drained, as, when I walked in, a few of the people started to whisper and giggle as I passed. Not off to a good start, but stay optimistic! I thought. I walked up to a mare with pink fur, and a blue mane with a band in it.

“Uh, hello, I’m here about the ‘help wanted’ ad?” I said politely. I was nervous, to say the least. I was applying for a job, after all. It was stressful, as many can guess.

“Yes, and you wanted the job?” She asked, with a slight Swedish accent. She didn’t bother to look at me, and I felt a bit offended.

“Indeed, I am. Now, will I need to fill out an application, or, wha-“

“Follow me.” She said, cutting me off. I blinked a moment.

“Okay” I said reluctantly. She walked into a door, and I followed. The room we entered was similar to the previous, only much smaller. There were a few massage tables lined up, a small wood and paper panel, and a window up high. I walked in, and set down my bags and case.

“So, you want the job as a masseuse? “ She asked. I paused a moment. A masseuse? I thought, I thought there’d be something else… something cooler.

“Well?” She asked. I realized I’d been standing there.

“Uh, yes, that’s it.” I said. She looked at me with a cold look in her eyes.

“Do you have any experience with the job?” She asked. I blinked a moment. The only time I had given massages were… well… I’d rather not go into detail, for the sake of the children. ‘You could say that’ would’ve been my reply, but I thought up another:

“Yes, I have given a few massages before, and I’ve been told I am very good.” I said. Once again; that ego taking over what I said. She nodded a moment, and wrote something down on a pad of paper.

“Why do you feel you should get this job?” She asked. I knew there’d be an interview, but I didn’t expect it this soon.

“Well, I have experience with the job, and I-“

“And you need money, because you are homeless.” She said coldly. The words cut into my head, and stuck there a moment. Rage began to boil up, but I restrained it.

“Yes, to be truthful, that is the main reason.” I said. I was short to the point, and my anger was held. “And frankly, I would rather not waste my time with an interview on such short notice, so may we cut to the chase?” I said, rather coldly, if I may add.

“All right then.” She said. She had the slightest hint of a smile on her face. She sat down on one of the beds, and rolled onto her front. I was confused a moment.

“Well?” She said. Then I realized what was going on: She wanted me to show what I knew. I walked over to the side of the table, and lightly placed my hooves against her back. I slowly began to go to work. For not doing it for a while, I was pretty good. She moaned a few times, which, I must admit, was awkward, but I took it as a sign that I was doing well. When I was done, I stepped back, and let her stand.

“Well, it is obvious you are good at the job.” She said, smiling. I smiled back, and I got a warm feeling in my stomach; the one you get when you know what’s about to come next.

“You got the job.” She said. On the outside, I was calm, and smiling. On the inside, I was cheering.

“You’ll start at noon, is that all right?” She asked. I nodded, picked up my bags, and walked out. I checked the time. Ah, shit. I thought, noon is in twenty minutes. I went to Twilight’s library, and knocked on the door. A small dragon opened the door. I looked down at it. Not the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen, I thought.

“Hello, is Twilight around?” I asked it. It looked at me with curiosity. I smiled.

“Twilight! Some guy is here to see you!” He yelled behind him. The figure of Twilight popped up behind him.

“Hello, Strum.” She said happily.

“Hello, Twilight, I came by to ask you a favor.” I said.

“Sure, what do you need?” She inquired.

“Can I stay here for a few days? Until I can get my own place?” I asked her.

“Sure, I don’t see why not!” She said, “C’mon inside.” I walked inside, and set my bags down. I checked the time again.

“Shit! I’m gonna be late for the first day on the job!” I yelled, then ran out the door. I ran straight to the spa, and ran into my boss.

“Gah! Sorry ma’am! Won’t happen again!” I said hurriedly. I was very nervous and probably sweating a little. She told me to go to the massage room, and get ready. It was a pretty easy first day; all I had to do was give a few mares a massage. I must say, it was also a good day. I was pretty lucky that I hadn’t had to give any stallions massages; because frankly, I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing it. Near the end of the day, I had to give a mare a massage, and it got… awkward. She started to flirt a bit… and asked for a… ‘happy ending’. And, what else to do but politely turn her down? She didn’t take to kindly, and tried to tell my boss that I sexually harassed her, and she wanted a refund. Luckily; my voice was heard, and the woman was escorted out. She was kicking and screaming, but I couldn’t help but laugh. Anyways; it was a pretty fun day.