A Troublesome Life

So: You’d probably expect us to be bucking trees and pulling plows in the blink of an eye? Well; that’d be over-exaggeration, and you’re wrong.

It took me probably five bucks a tree, as it took Apple Jack one. It was quite hurtful. I mean that both mentally and physically. On one hand; I was shown that I truly was weak. On the other; my muscles were aching like a bitch.

After I’d had enough; I said goodbye to Apple Jack and Big Mac, and declined pay. I trotted through the streets once more. I thought about how my other friends may need help, when I heard a scream from Sugar Cube Corner. I ran into it without thought. I saw Pinkie and Rainbow Dash. At first glance; it looked very wrong. Dash was on top of Pinkie, and pressed against her. When, if you paid attention to detail; you’d notice that the ceiling was broken, and there were pieces of it around them. I walked over, and helped them up. I looked at Dash.

“If you want to practice flying without crashing; go to that one race track in Cloudsdale: It’s high up, and it is meant for going fast.” I said to her. She rubbed her chin, smiled, and darted through the hole she had come through. I looked to Pinkie.

“So, do you need any help around here?” I inquired. She smiled brightly, grabbed me by the fore-leg, and dragged me near an oven. She started handing me ingredients and such. I looked at her; my fore-legs holding quite a few things.

“Uh… Pinkie… I don’t know how to bake.” I said. It was true. The most complex thing I’d ever baked was a cake… when I was eight. It was burnt, and rotten. I didn’t fruit, or anything that could be rotten. How’d I managed that; I hadn’t a clue, and still have no clue. I had also used salt instead of sugar as well.

She looked at me, with a big-ass smile.

“Oh, goodie! I can teach you how to bake! This’ll be so fun!” She said, literally pumping her hooves in the air. I had a feeling this’d be a really bad idea. She grabbed me again, making me drop the ingredients. She put me in front of a counter, and placed a bowl, and many baking supplies. I looked at them, and all the ingredients from a second prior dropped next to the supplies.

“Are you ready?” She asked, almost yelling in my ear. I looked at all the stuff.

“Yeah… I suppose.” I said. I looked over, and she had copied the lay out to the precise tilts and angles that my little station was. I hadn’t a clue how she managed it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After a few minutes; Pinkie had told me everything she knew about baking. Somehow; my brain had been able to catch it all, and I memorized it. How she managed to say it all in a few minutes, and me to be able to catch it all, was quite the anomalous event. Anyways, we then baked two cakes, two baker’s dozens of cupcakes, and two baker’s dozens of what Pinkie called ‘baked bads’. I hadn’t a clue who’d eat them. Although, she said a few things about Apple Jack and Spike while we made them. We also made many other pastries that I hadn’t even thought about before.

We tried each other’s pastries. One bite of Pinkie’s; and I was almost drooling a river. It was really, really, f***in’ good. She tried mine, thought a moment, and turned to me with a smile.

“You need to use a bit more sugar, but, other than that; it’s great!” She said. I felt good about myself. I learned a new, important, skill. I smiled, and thanked Pinkie. I was about to walk out, but Pinkie had her hoof on my shoulder.

“Wait! We’re not done yet!” She said. I turned to Pinkie, very surprised. We had baked hundreds of pastries, it felt. Her smile was a bit smaller. I felt I needed to ask a question. It was probably one of the most important questions anyone could ever ask. It could be asked in any context, at any time:

“What?”

She looked at me, smile widening a bit. I had a very bad feeling about what would happen.

“I have something I want to show you!” She said. She bounced to a door, and whipped it open. A stair-case leading down was apparent. I had heard a few things about Sweeny Todd, and was fearful about the basement. She bounced down. I followed reluctantly. Pinkie flipped on the lights, and what I saw; I was terrified of: There were many surgical supplies, and a table made of bones and skin, and disturbing, organs everywhere, and a streamer with ‘life is a party’ written on it in blood. Not really. I was terrified of it, nonetheless. What was really there was a bright room, with a lot of… things. I hadn’t a clue what they were. They made me feel uneasy.

“Ta-da!” She said as the lights flipped on. I looked at one of the objects. It looked very odd. Pinkie grabbed it up, and chucked it behind her. She had a blush on her face, and a nervous smile. I took it I wasn’t supposed to see whatever that was. I shrugged, and looked around. It was a nice little room, and it had a couch with a… TV in front of it? TVs were extremely rare, as it required power, whether it be electrical, or magical. There was also a bed opposite to it. Logic dictated this may just be some sort of “Guest room”. I looked at Pinkie.

“So, what exactly is this room?” I asked to her. She looked at me; her smile wide.

“I come down here some times when I’m bored.” She said. I knew that she lived above Sugar Cube Corner, but she had another living space down here? I was confused, but, hey; this was Pinkie Pie.

“I’m usually not bored, but sometimes I’ll come down here with Dash.” She said, still smiling. I still looked around. The pink of some of the objects and furniture was beginning to hurt my eyes. I decided to ask another question.

“What exactly do you do? Watch TV? Sleep?” I asked. She giggled a bit.

“Yeah, sometimes I watch TV. I’ve never really slept in here though.” She said. The bed confused me now. Maybe she had originally planned to sleep in here? I looked to her.

“So, what’s the deal with the bed? And…” I looked at all the odd objects and such. “Those.” Her smile widened more, which, seemed almost impossible.

“This is a party room! And those are party favors!” She said. I looked at the bed again. It hadn’t answered my question about the bed.

“Uh… what’s the bed got to do with anything?” I asked again. She continued smiling, and bounced to the edge of it.

“You know how my parties are tiring?” She said perkily, “Well, this can be for sleep-overs or for whoever is really tired… or, another reason.” She said. How she said the last part scared me. I had a slight feeling of what those other reasons could be. I coughed, and decided that I’d get out of here.

“Well, Pinkie, thank you for teaching me how to bake, and thank you for showing me this basement. I’ll be on my way now.” I said. Pinkie hopped onto me, knocking me onto the floor. My head whipped back, and pain went through my skull. My vision swam for a moment, but returned to Pinkie; who was now towering over me. I was terrified, because her smile was very unnerving, and she looked at me with her same happy, and crazy, eyes. I was shaking, and was scooting for the stairs. She put a hoof on my chest, and it managed to stop my slow crawl to salvation. I let out a few curses under my breath. Pinkie grabbed one of the party-favors off a dresser, touched her mouth to one end, and blew. Confetti blew out of it, and into my face. Frankly, things that are fast, and unexpected will scare anyone. I, for one, am terrified beyond belief by said things. I jumped, and knocked Pinkie over. I realized that I was free, and ran for the stairs. But, she hopped onto my back, knocking me onto my chest. I let out an oof. Pinkie put her mouth close to my ear and whispered something that I’d rather not put here (For the sake of hilarity). I’ll tell you it had to do with her, Twilight, and I with frosting, and a pie. My face was hot, and I shoved her off of me, and darted up the stairs at a speed that would make Rainbow Dash jealous. I then remembered Pinkie’s comment about her and Dash down there. I lost respect for both of them that day.

I burst out of the door of Sugar Cube Corner. My face was redder that a tomato, and sweat making my mane flat, and said sweat running down my face. I ran all the way to Rarity’s boutique, darted up the stairs, into my bed room, and fell to the floor. I was panting heavily.