Rhetorical Questionsby The NotebookChaptersCh. 1: When the Talent is Reversed.Ch. 2 Mare Talk.Ch. 3 Resolving Good AftermathCh. 1: When the Talent is Reversed."To Be or Not To Be? That is the question My name is Exie, I live in ponyville, and I'm 20 as of today. Ordinary life right, the same thing that I always do. But this was different I couldn't sabotage it. Not because I didn't try, but he never sees it as my fault and hates me. "Night Exie I'll see you later okay?" Noteworthy had said to me. Giving me a quick kiss goodbye. Smiling as he walked out. I loved him so much, yet I hated him. I could never rid myself of him even in my thoughts. He was always breaks my sabotage plans when I try anything to cut us off. Blaming his bad luck and not me. Why does he do that? Is it out of love? Or simply because that's what he has always seen this kind of misfortune as. I don't know, I can never decide. It was to midnight by now and I decided to walk maybe that would clear my mind of the things I don't want in there. Putting on a smile and putting a bounce into my step I began forward on my night stroll. It was always a lovely sight to see the stars in the sky while alone. No talking, no distraction... No Noteworthy. I loved him, but I hated him. His freakishly forgiving nature. Blaming everything I tried on himself. He always found a way to make up. The roses when I had accused him of cheating. The sleeping infront of my house to apologize when we fought for real. The kisses when I accidentally hit him. He always made it up to me. When I was trying to do the sabotaging. I hated how stupid he was. Not picky about what I did, didn't care about a moment of bad manors, or how I dressed (which was always the black leg Warmers with cuts and black boots.). Never once did he complain about me doing anything wrong. He always said it was his own bad luck. Maybe it was the fact he was baned from six cities because of the 'series of accidents'following him each time he went somewhere. Maybe he considered me his good luck or something. That could of been it... Maybe. I've known Noteworthy for a month now. I've tried to give and receive but all he wishes for me is to not frown upon his mistakes. This another mystery in the raveling puzzle that is my coltfriend. Octavia had stayed up that same night for some unknown reason. My only thought as to why was either she suffered insomnia or she had had a late night session before bed. Either way as a very observant mare, seeing through my mask of bubbliness and such giddy emotions. (No suprise there considering how many bits her therapy business made her.) I had not noticed her during the brief moments she watched me walk down the cold grave road of town, heading torwards shop. I was by the time I went inside and closed the door, completely torn. Should I just go back to my old home? Or should I ask Noteworthy if we could step this relationship up a notch. We were both just small time workers. I was a tailor. He wrote songs of all genres for the different companies. We were able to flex so well with him. And he had no regret or any anger towards me. I couldn't decide. On one side I was waiting for the pain. But it was all self inflicted at this point I just couldn't deal with it anymore. I wanted to run. But if I went back home I would lose my chance at a independent life. I had to stay. But how could I escape my emotions for this stallion if he wasn't like anyone else? I didn't know how I was going to deal with it all either. Deciding to run or stay. Such a stupid choice I had to make. It hurt to be in this life style, yet I loved it. Everyone was nice, no drunks or gangly stallions (or the occasional mare). I didn't have to exert myself here, and Noteworthy didn't mind in anyway at all. God that blue stallion was the problem here. He messed up my life style. I couldn't go anywhere. Running wasn't an option nor was staying. I had to get away so I could think. That's it I would go for a visit to Cashmere. He wouldn't object from a visit from me anyway. It had been I think three months now, he must of had some want to see me by now. I honestly needed his wisdom right now anyways. I had started to pack a few things and some money so I could go catch the night train. I hadn't expected a knock on my door. Little less for it to be Octavia. It was even for an oblivious pony, very easy to tell I had been doing something in a hurry. "May I come in?" The grey mare asked. She was only four years older yet she was... So calm and observant. Wisdom in youth. "Sure, the stores closed right now and I'm short on time and I need to go soon so please lets make this quick." I said to exhausted to even try at being my ordinary self. "Thank you," Octavia said coming in with elegance and only four swift steps, "so where are you going at this hour? If you don't mind me asking." "To Manehattan." I replied it wasn't the full truth, but I wasn't lying. "So your meeting someone out of town? Aren't you and Noteworthy an item?" Octavia asked. Her voice should have seemed intrusive. But instead it was as if I could talk to her like old friends would. "I'm going to see my 'Adoptive' mother," I let out without hesitation, "I need to discuss some matters with her." "Is it involving Noteworthy. I know that stallion has done nothing but apologize to you no matter the sigguation. You know he's banned from Trotingham, Baltimare, and Apploosa? And all because everywhere he went and everyplace he entered collapsed behind him. Every single one. He thinks you are his strike at gold. He's never had one good thing go for him except writing music and playing the sax 'til you showed up?" Octavia told me. "I know he has. I knew he was banned, I didn't know he had so much bad luck going for him though..." I said my thoughts kicked in again hurling it all around again making my mind a shit storm of Noteworthy, and my emotions. "So it is about him. Well I know that you'll pick yourself up soon so I only ask you this - go tell Noteworthy that your leaving for a few weeks at most. You need a little time alone without him." Octavia said lightly patting my shoulder I produced a weak smile. Octavia let herself out and returned home. It was then I had realized she was not only extremely helpful right then, but had apparently been watching me earlier. A little creeped by that fact I grabbed my small bag of things, wrote a note explaining my absence. Then deciding to do what Octavia suggested I went to Noteworthy's house. The lights were off so I assumed he was asleep. I didn't have time to waste writing anymore. Not with my hand writing being hard to read and write in the first place. Knocking about twenty times and about to go for twenty-one when a very groggy Noteworthy opened the door. "Exie? What are you doing here it's two in the morning?" He said. He didn't notice my bag and wasn't mad at me from his expression I would say he was closer to bewildered. "I have to leave for a while. I need to go visit my 'adoptive' mother Cashmere." "Then I'll go with y-" "No!" I interrupted. I didn't know if I had hurt him by that. But I needed to get away from him for a bit. Octavia was like a goddess of wisdom at this moment "Tell him you need to be alone." "I need to go alone. Sort of like I can't go on your trips to see those music companies." I said. Obviously he was starting to get the memo of something was wrong, because next thing I knew he was wrapping me in a tight embrace. "I'm sorry if any of this is my fault." He told me in a whisper. "I don't know what's wrong or if I did something wrong, but come back safe okay?" He told me. What he said though made my normal attitude come back. Giggling I started at him as he only got more confused. "Such a guilty conscious. You need to stop worrying about everything being your fault." I said, giving him a quick kiss and a playful nuzzle. I picked up my bag and left, leaving the blue stallion in a bubbly awakeness. I on the other hand will I still had a smidgen of hate always floating at him for being such a worry wart I still loved him, and I knew he cared about me. "One ticket for Manehattan please." Author's Note Some Octavia Canon was added to this story. The OC belongs to ImJustAnotherBrony Some mistakes may have been made with character relations. Ch. 2 Mare Talk.I fell asleep and almost missed my stop, the most used excuse in the world for transportation. I DID fall asleep though and was now fully charged to see Cashmere. I wasn't happy to be back in Manehattan I promised not to come back unless absolutely nessicary. Well this was nessicary. To put it in short I had had to run and leap out the door. I barely made it out and as soon as I took a breathe I coughed as if I had liquid in my lunges. Of course this got me various responses from the crowd around me who all seemed fine. Some laughed or scoffed, others glared or stared at me like I was sickly. This was life here Cruel, cold, and lifeless. Never a caring hoof only lust, selfishness, and large amounts of hormones were in this town. I slowly made my way up the steps, that was until someone tried to touch me. I may have at once never even took second thought about it. But after I don't even remember now, half a year? It doesn't matter, but after all that time in a kind, nice in environment... I had once not thought I would come to enjoy not for it's location, but for the people. Octavia, Noteworthy, Big Mac was a good listener, Those tight bundle of six I don't remember them all personally, but they all welcomed me anyway. Everypony welcomed me without a second thought. Here, now, this creep, not going to happen. Knowing he was still behind me I quickly reared and let loose. The resounding snap must of been his neck or his jaw. Either way he had payed the price of tufting that number on me. Only a few ponies stopped and stared others who had witnessed it shrugged and kept on giving remark to it all. Out of the train station and into the city, I began my walk towards the shop some large extent of my life had been spent at. I held no regret of my life here, yet something was rubbing me the wrong way about entering. It felt taboo, but I was always welcome here so... No more hesitating I opened the door and gave a look around, "Cashmere?" I called out looking around. It was only a moment before my caretaker came out from behind the counter. The old mare moving like she was 20 years younger than her real age as she worked about the store to me. How she did it always baffled me, but that isn't for right now. Right now I needed to talk to her. She was always as lecturing me and yelling at me when I was working here, like swindling for money (and sex), "being on the street corners", everything I was so used to she she lectured me for. She worried for me, but was had enough confidence to know that I could handle myself in most situations. This was not the same scenario as that. This was me unable to decide what I wanted done. ME! Unable to decide what needed to be done. How I should go about this. I wanted some answers but only one person gave me those in a clear fashion. That was Cashmere. "Exie? What are you doing her in Manehattan I thought I gave you full control over the 'Sew Fine' in Ponyville? What are you doing here child?" Of course here came the bombardment. I expected as much it had been a while since I had visited. Alone. With a packed bag. "Umm..." I began unsure of how to ask for advice, not to mention my hesitance caught Cashmere's eye. She knew already in some small form what was wrong, but still awaited me to say it. "I... Noteworthy... I don't know what to do." I said choking to get out the words stuck in my throat. Why was this all SO DAMN DIFFICULT! Good Celestia why was it so hard. I couldn't think straight, but I think I had begun to cry a little as thoughts of what could be but I didn't want and what couldn't be but I did want. I wanted Noteworthy to be by my side, but I hated his forgiving guts and didn't want to be trapped by him. I wanted to tell him off, but... That wouldn't happen in this life time. Cashmere pulled me away from the store front and closed the blinds on the few windows. Flipping off the open sign and flipping the door card that said OPEN and CLOSED to CLOSED. Leading me to the back of the store we sat down on the few Couches that existed in this store. It wasn't exactly a coffee shop. "What is it you can't decide? I heard a Noteworthy and IDK what to do." The IDK made me look at her like she wasn't the person I knew. This put bit of a smile on her face. "What a old girl like me can't keep up with the young-in's lingo?" Cashmere said. Chuckling a bit made me feel a bit happier. Just like always Cashmere was there for me. "So tell me Exie. What's wrong?" "I... I can't decide how I should go about my newest relationship. I've had him sleep on my door step as an apology to me before all his decision. He always apologizes to me. Everything is always his fault to him. He's a constant suck up, but because of it I always end up feeling much better. But guilty if it was my accident. I love him a lot and I want to be with him I want him here with me now, but... I don't want to be trapped into one sigular jail cell with just him. I want to be able to be who I normally am who I was. That town changed me and I don't feel that way anymore though all the swindling and such. I don't want any of it anymore. I want to only have him, yet I want nothing to do with him and his blue arse." I let off the words came out jumbled and a bit confusing. But I didn't choke this time that was a good sign right? Cashmere took it all in as if I had stated a hard but simple question. Pondering it all. "If you love him that is natural self conflict Exie. I at one point felt that way I walked away because I was to afraid of what would trap me. You make him sound like the best stallion in Equastria and that tone of voice you have, it shows how much you care. You came to stay for a while you can question yourself while you stay for a week or two." I didn't argue with her answer or the offer to stay I simply thanked her and went into the Lounge room. Author's Note I'm sorry for any personalities or traits I messed up. I have little knowledge of Cashmere and or anything about her. All I figure is- she took off the streets, Basically her Foster mother, strict-ish, caring, and will worry but is confident in Exie's own abilities. Also I put this to where Exie has changed a bit, no longer having constant sex. Ch. 3 Resolving Good AftermathI stayed six weeks. To put it simply I was still semi-confused about what I wanted. The choices were stayed as were my wants. But we're those just lusts in my mind. A clinging form a embryo that was myself in the past, as it tried to grow again. I had refused it. I was on the train station still pondering to myself. "To be or Not to be." That was a question no one had ever answered correctly, as there was no right or wrong answer. To be in love with someone is the double edged sword all must carry with caution. Not to be able to wield it is the problem in my case. I can't hold it on my own and call upon the one I want to help but then thinking I can hold ground against the fears I try to raise it alone and shove the other away. There is a reason love takes two things. 'Cause somethings are too much of a burden to handle by one hoof. My own talent in a sense, unknown to me. My cutie mark was more than just a dark past it was the embodiment of a loving heart. Everything comes with a price tag. From clothes to accessories. I was never able to ponder this clearly until now. My price tag came for free. But it was followed by my need for pain as backlash. My price like everyone's was different. Noteworthy's came with sorrow and endless misery he burdens on himself. Finally I remembered what I had found off of those six mares. Twilight a knowledge so vast that very few could actually love and understand her minds capacity, like a endless library in need of a librarian willing to care for it. Pinkie a mask, I saw through that mask long ago. A dark side that is cruel and unforgiving to those who wish to try and harm in anyway. A laughing justice. A smiling mask and laughing psychopath that didn't even understand the meaning of the word "happiness". Rarity was simplistic, she wasn't free though. She came with a heavy fee and never took that fee lightly. She was always into large, handsome, and powerful figures making her impossible to break to a lower class, as in dirt poor, citizen. Rainbow dash was loyal, she was the element of loyalty, but that left many gaps in her. The price she had was much like mine yet different all the same. Hers was punctured in many places. From her insecurity and fears she was all around a pitiful yet great specimen. She had that "Cheer up or ill make you" gusto that everyone admired. But when she thought the sword was lighter alone she would back away. Not from the love, but the need of having a partner in the act of holding a sword. Moving onto the train, I pondered Fluttershy. I knew not a lot of her and that was the key fact as I figured her puzzle out. Her price came with seclusion a endless need to be anti-social because she didn't really know how TO BE social. Her friends were one thing, but the town. Even Applejack and her little sister Applebloom had tags. Strange one sure, but they were tags that had chose to be there and had been put there the first moment they were alive. What was a price tag a sticker on some cool skate board. A plastic security slip on a nice warm turtle neck, nasty things, or a slip of paper behind a magnifying screen to read a item price. I truth it was all these things several times over again only it was part of your body. Like a scar or a cutie mark it stayed until death and even after until there is a need for it elsewhere. "Welcome fillies and gentle colts. This is the conductor speaking, because of icy rails this holiday we aren't going to be moving anywhere for a few hours. We are sorry for the inconvenience." I sighed as I heard this laying back into the seat I began to doze off. I didn't need to stay awake for a 4, 5 hour wait, right? I mean, sure I was anxious to leave the train, but my ache to see Noteworthy could wait a little longer. Stupid gutless stallion... Exie woke to find herself in a strange, yet comforting bed. Her legs were bare of her leg Warmers and boots and she somehow felt trully naked. Noticing a nightstand to her side she looked over the contents. Key to Sew Fine, lamp, marriage band, wait marraige band? How long had she been out. Getting out of the bed, she was immediately bombarded by a small little filly that looked like Notes only with her red hair tipped in blue. "Momma momma daddy made pancakes!" She said excitedly. Exie didn't know what had happened, it was strange that this filly called her mother. But the marraige band. "Good morning dear," said a strangely familiar voice; "how do you like your destiny sunny side up or scrambled?" Asked noteworthy before her dream shattered. The screen was black and movement disappeared. The only movement was from static as she looked around. The screen shrunk and shrunk becoming small almost the size of one of those new phone things. "What do you desire?" "Huh?" Exie asked. "What do you desire." The screen repeated. "Ummm... To understand what my emotions are telling me. What the hell are you?" Exie asked. "Your myself and I'm yourself. To understand yourself? You have answered that question already." "No I haven't what makes you say that?" "First we ache for his nearness." It hissed. "So that's normal for a couple." "Our dream just now." The screen crackled. "Umm that was a bit more night-" "You need to wake up and get off miss." "Huh?" "Miss please wake up." The screen crackled before she started to fall into the black. I awoke from my dream, the train in Ponyville station. I didn't expect any giant welcome home and I didn't get one, I had told no one that I was coming back so as soon as I got off the train and started into town why did everyone bombard me. Octavia, her DJ cousin, those six tight-nit mares and even Applebloom was out and about and gave me a hug when I walked into town square. I told them all hello returned the hug and kept on. I was down to the last block. Three houses from his and I had finally decided. I picked up pace and ran to his door. I held up a hoof to knock but the Door opened by the time it came down it was upon Noteworthy's face. "Oww, sorry I didn't realize you coming back and me opening the door would get me hit." He said. Rubbing his forhead where I had made solid contact. "You dunce don't be so stupid." I said leaving up I kissed him, which after such a long time felt really good. My heart swelled with a simple fact that he was myself and I was himself. We were two as one at that moment. He pulled back and pulled me close bringing me in, " Can't have you freezing when you have no idea how much I've been wanting you to be beside me." Noteworthy said cheerfully. "Dunce... Stop being so gutless." I said playfully shoving him. "Hey!" He said as if it had hurt. "Happy hearth's warming." I sighed happily. "It wasn't happy until you came back. I guess my luck changed a bit." "I guess it did. If you want to keep that luck you better put a band on it." I said half jokingly. I finally answered a unanswerable question correctly. To be or not to be. That's not my question.
Ch. 1: When the Talent is Reversed."To Be or Not To Be? That is the question My name is Exie, I live in ponyville, and I'm 20 as of today. Ordinary life right, the same thing that I always do. But this was different I couldn't sabotage it. Not because I didn't try, but he never sees it as my fault and hates me. "Night Exie I'll see you later okay?" Noteworthy had said to me. Giving me a quick kiss goodbye. Smiling as he walked out. I loved him so much, yet I hated him. I could never rid myself of him even in my thoughts. He was always breaks my sabotage plans when I try anything to cut us off. Blaming his bad luck and not me. Why does he do that? Is it out of love? Or simply because that's what he has always seen this kind of misfortune as. I don't know, I can never decide. It was to midnight by now and I decided to walk maybe that would clear my mind of the things I don't want in there. Putting on a smile and putting a bounce into my step I began forward on my night stroll. It was always a lovely sight to see the stars in the sky while alone. No talking, no distraction... No Noteworthy. I loved him, but I hated him. His freakishly forgiving nature. Blaming everything I tried on himself. He always found a way to make up. The roses when I had accused him of cheating. The sleeping infront of my house to apologize when we fought for real. The kisses when I accidentally hit him. He always made it up to me. When I was trying to do the sabotaging. I hated how stupid he was. Not picky about what I did, didn't care about a moment of bad manors, or how I dressed (which was always the black leg Warmers with cuts and black boots.). Never once did he complain about me doing anything wrong. He always said it was his own bad luck. Maybe it was the fact he was baned from six cities because of the 'series of accidents'following him each time he went somewhere. Maybe he considered me his good luck or something. That could of been it... Maybe. I've known Noteworthy for a month now. I've tried to give and receive but all he wishes for me is to not frown upon his mistakes. This another mystery in the raveling puzzle that is my coltfriend. Octavia had stayed up that same night for some unknown reason. My only thought as to why was either she suffered insomnia or she had had a late night session before bed. Either way as a very observant mare, seeing through my mask of bubbliness and such giddy emotions. (No suprise there considering how many bits her therapy business made her.) I had not noticed her during the brief moments she watched me walk down the cold grave road of town, heading torwards shop. I was by the time I went inside and closed the door, completely torn. Should I just go back to my old home? Or should I ask Noteworthy if we could step this relationship up a notch. We were both just small time workers. I was a tailor. He wrote songs of all genres for the different companies. We were able to flex so well with him. And he had no regret or any anger towards me. I couldn't decide. On one side I was waiting for the pain. But it was all self inflicted at this point I just couldn't deal with it anymore. I wanted to run. But if I went back home I would lose my chance at a independent life. I had to stay. But how could I escape my emotions for this stallion if he wasn't like anyone else? I didn't know how I was going to deal with it all either. Deciding to run or stay. Such a stupid choice I had to make. It hurt to be in this life style, yet I loved it. Everyone was nice, no drunks or gangly stallions (or the occasional mare). I didn't have to exert myself here, and Noteworthy didn't mind in anyway at all. God that blue stallion was the problem here. He messed up my life style. I couldn't go anywhere. Running wasn't an option nor was staying. I had to get away so I could think. That's it I would go for a visit to Cashmere. He wouldn't object from a visit from me anyway. It had been I think three months now, he must of had some want to see me by now. I honestly needed his wisdom right now anyways. I had started to pack a few things and some money so I could go catch the night train. I hadn't expected a knock on my door. Little less for it to be Octavia. It was even for an oblivious pony, very easy to tell I had been doing something in a hurry. "May I come in?" The grey mare asked. She was only four years older yet she was... So calm and observant. Wisdom in youth. "Sure, the stores closed right now and I'm short on time and I need to go soon so please lets make this quick." I said to exhausted to even try at being my ordinary self. "Thank you," Octavia said coming in with elegance and only four swift steps, "so where are you going at this hour? If you don't mind me asking." "To Manehattan." I replied it wasn't the full truth, but I wasn't lying. "So your meeting someone out of town? Aren't you and Noteworthy an item?" Octavia asked. Her voice should have seemed intrusive. But instead it was as if I could talk to her like old friends would. "I'm going to see my 'Adoptive' mother," I let out without hesitation, "I need to discuss some matters with her." "Is it involving Noteworthy. I know that stallion has done nothing but apologize to you no matter the sigguation. You know he's banned from Trotingham, Baltimare, and Apploosa? And all because everywhere he went and everyplace he entered collapsed behind him. Every single one. He thinks you are his strike at gold. He's never had one good thing go for him except writing music and playing the sax 'til you showed up?" Octavia told me. "I know he has. I knew he was banned, I didn't know he had so much bad luck going for him though..." I said my thoughts kicked in again hurling it all around again making my mind a shit storm of Noteworthy, and my emotions. "So it is about him. Well I know that you'll pick yourself up soon so I only ask you this - go tell Noteworthy that your leaving for a few weeks at most. You need a little time alone without him." Octavia said lightly patting my shoulder I produced a weak smile. Octavia let herself out and returned home. It was then I had realized she was not only extremely helpful right then, but had apparently been watching me earlier. A little creeped by that fact I grabbed my small bag of things, wrote a note explaining my absence. Then deciding to do what Octavia suggested I went to Noteworthy's house. The lights were off so I assumed he was asleep. I didn't have time to waste writing anymore. Not with my hand writing being hard to read and write in the first place. Knocking about twenty times and about to go for twenty-one when a very groggy Noteworthy opened the door. "Exie? What are you doing here it's two in the morning?" He said. He didn't notice my bag and wasn't mad at me from his expression I would say he was closer to bewildered. "I have to leave for a while. I need to go visit my 'adoptive' mother Cashmere." "Then I'll go with y-" "No!" I interrupted. I didn't know if I had hurt him by that. But I needed to get away from him for a bit. Octavia was like a goddess of wisdom at this moment "Tell him you need to be alone." "I need to go alone. Sort of like I can't go on your trips to see those music companies." I said. Obviously he was starting to get the memo of something was wrong, because next thing I knew he was wrapping me in a tight embrace. "I'm sorry if any of this is my fault." He told me in a whisper. "I don't know what's wrong or if I did something wrong, but come back safe okay?" He told me. What he said though made my normal attitude come back. Giggling I started at him as he only got more confused. "Such a guilty conscious. You need to stop worrying about everything being your fault." I said, giving him a quick kiss and a playful nuzzle. I picked up my bag and left, leaving the blue stallion in a bubbly awakeness. I on the other hand will I still had a smidgen of hate always floating at him for being such a worry wart I still loved him, and I knew he cared about me. "One ticket for Manehattan please." Author's Note Some Octavia Canon was added to this story. The OC belongs to ImJustAnotherBrony Some mistakes may have been made with character relations.
Ch. 2 Mare Talk.I fell asleep and almost missed my stop, the most used excuse in the world for transportation. I DID fall asleep though and was now fully charged to see Cashmere. I wasn't happy to be back in Manehattan I promised not to come back unless absolutely nessicary. Well this was nessicary. To put it in short I had had to run and leap out the door. I barely made it out and as soon as I took a breathe I coughed as if I had liquid in my lunges. Of course this got me various responses from the crowd around me who all seemed fine. Some laughed or scoffed, others glared or stared at me like I was sickly. This was life here Cruel, cold, and lifeless. Never a caring hoof only lust, selfishness, and large amounts of hormones were in this town. I slowly made my way up the steps, that was until someone tried to touch me. I may have at once never even took second thought about it. But after I don't even remember now, half a year? It doesn't matter, but after all that time in a kind, nice in environment... I had once not thought I would come to enjoy not for it's location, but for the people. Octavia, Noteworthy, Big Mac was a good listener, Those tight bundle of six I don't remember them all personally, but they all welcomed me anyway. Everypony welcomed me without a second thought. Here, now, this creep, not going to happen. Knowing he was still behind me I quickly reared and let loose. The resounding snap must of been his neck or his jaw. Either way he had payed the price of tufting that number on me. Only a few ponies stopped and stared others who had witnessed it shrugged and kept on giving remark to it all. Out of the train station and into the city, I began my walk towards the shop some large extent of my life had been spent at. I held no regret of my life here, yet something was rubbing me the wrong way about entering. It felt taboo, but I was always welcome here so... No more hesitating I opened the door and gave a look around, "Cashmere?" I called out looking around. It was only a moment before my caretaker came out from behind the counter. The old mare moving like she was 20 years younger than her real age as she worked about the store to me. How she did it always baffled me, but that isn't for right now. Right now I needed to talk to her. She was always as lecturing me and yelling at me when I was working here, like swindling for money (and sex), "being on the street corners", everything I was so used to she she lectured me for. She worried for me, but was had enough confidence to know that I could handle myself in most situations. This was not the same scenario as that. This was me unable to decide what I wanted done. ME! Unable to decide what needed to be done. How I should go about this. I wanted some answers but only one person gave me those in a clear fashion. That was Cashmere. "Exie? What are you doing her in Manehattan I thought I gave you full control over the 'Sew Fine' in Ponyville? What are you doing here child?" Of course here came the bombardment. I expected as much it had been a while since I had visited. Alone. With a packed bag. "Umm..." I began unsure of how to ask for advice, not to mention my hesitance caught Cashmere's eye. She knew already in some small form what was wrong, but still awaited me to say it. "I... Noteworthy... I don't know what to do." I said choking to get out the words stuck in my throat. Why was this all SO DAMN DIFFICULT! Good Celestia why was it so hard. I couldn't think straight, but I think I had begun to cry a little as thoughts of what could be but I didn't want and what couldn't be but I did want. I wanted Noteworthy to be by my side, but I hated his forgiving guts and didn't want to be trapped by him. I wanted to tell him off, but... That wouldn't happen in this life time. Cashmere pulled me away from the store front and closed the blinds on the few windows. Flipping off the open sign and flipping the door card that said OPEN and CLOSED to CLOSED. Leading me to the back of the store we sat down on the few Couches that existed in this store. It wasn't exactly a coffee shop. "What is it you can't decide? I heard a Noteworthy and IDK what to do." The IDK made me look at her like she wasn't the person I knew. This put bit of a smile on her face. "What a old girl like me can't keep up with the young-in's lingo?" Cashmere said. Chuckling a bit made me feel a bit happier. Just like always Cashmere was there for me. "So tell me Exie. What's wrong?" "I... I can't decide how I should go about my newest relationship. I've had him sleep on my door step as an apology to me before all his decision. He always apologizes to me. Everything is always his fault to him. He's a constant suck up, but because of it I always end up feeling much better. But guilty if it was my accident. I love him a lot and I want to be with him I want him here with me now, but... I don't want to be trapped into one sigular jail cell with just him. I want to be able to be who I normally am who I was. That town changed me and I don't feel that way anymore though all the swindling and such. I don't want any of it anymore. I want to only have him, yet I want nothing to do with him and his blue arse." I let off the words came out jumbled and a bit confusing. But I didn't choke this time that was a good sign right? Cashmere took it all in as if I had stated a hard but simple question. Pondering it all. "If you love him that is natural self conflict Exie. I at one point felt that way I walked away because I was to afraid of what would trap me. You make him sound like the best stallion in Equastria and that tone of voice you have, it shows how much you care. You came to stay for a while you can question yourself while you stay for a week or two." I didn't argue with her answer or the offer to stay I simply thanked her and went into the Lounge room. Author's Note I'm sorry for any personalities or traits I messed up. I have little knowledge of Cashmere and or anything about her. All I figure is- she took off the streets, Basically her Foster mother, strict-ish, caring, and will worry but is confident in Exie's own abilities. Also I put this to where Exie has changed a bit, no longer having constant sex.
Ch. 3 Resolving Good AftermathI stayed six weeks. To put it simply I was still semi-confused about what I wanted. The choices were stayed as were my wants. But we're those just lusts in my mind. A clinging form a embryo that was myself in the past, as it tried to grow again. I had refused it. I was on the train station still pondering to myself. "To be or Not to be." That was a question no one had ever answered correctly, as there was no right or wrong answer. To be in love with someone is the double edged sword all must carry with caution. Not to be able to wield it is the problem in my case. I can't hold it on my own and call upon the one I want to help but then thinking I can hold ground against the fears I try to raise it alone and shove the other away. There is a reason love takes two things. 'Cause somethings are too much of a burden to handle by one hoof. My own talent in a sense, unknown to me. My cutie mark was more than just a dark past it was the embodiment of a loving heart. Everything comes with a price tag. From clothes to accessories. I was never able to ponder this clearly until now. My price tag came for free. But it was followed by my need for pain as backlash. My price like everyone's was different. Noteworthy's came with sorrow and endless misery he burdens on himself. Finally I remembered what I had found off of those six mares. Twilight a knowledge so vast that very few could actually love and understand her minds capacity, like a endless library in need of a librarian willing to care for it. Pinkie a mask, I saw through that mask long ago. A dark side that is cruel and unforgiving to those who wish to try and harm in anyway. A laughing justice. A smiling mask and laughing psychopath that didn't even understand the meaning of the word "happiness". Rarity was simplistic, she wasn't free though. She came with a heavy fee and never took that fee lightly. She was always into large, handsome, and powerful figures making her impossible to break to a lower class, as in dirt poor, citizen. Rainbow dash was loyal, she was the element of loyalty, but that left many gaps in her. The price she had was much like mine yet different all the same. Hers was punctured in many places. From her insecurity and fears she was all around a pitiful yet great specimen. She had that "Cheer up or ill make you" gusto that everyone admired. But when she thought the sword was lighter alone she would back away. Not from the love, but the need of having a partner in the act of holding a sword. Moving onto the train, I pondered Fluttershy. I knew not a lot of her and that was the key fact as I figured her puzzle out. Her price came with seclusion a endless need to be anti-social because she didn't really know how TO BE social. Her friends were one thing, but the town. Even Applejack and her little sister Applebloom had tags. Strange one sure, but they were tags that had chose to be there and had been put there the first moment they were alive. What was a price tag a sticker on some cool skate board. A plastic security slip on a nice warm turtle neck, nasty things, or a slip of paper behind a magnifying screen to read a item price. I truth it was all these things several times over again only it was part of your body. Like a scar or a cutie mark it stayed until death and even after until there is a need for it elsewhere. "Welcome fillies and gentle colts. This is the conductor speaking, because of icy rails this holiday we aren't going to be moving anywhere for a few hours. We are sorry for the inconvenience." I sighed as I heard this laying back into the seat I began to doze off. I didn't need to stay awake for a 4, 5 hour wait, right? I mean, sure I was anxious to leave the train, but my ache to see Noteworthy could wait a little longer. Stupid gutless stallion... Exie woke to find herself in a strange, yet comforting bed. Her legs were bare of her leg Warmers and boots and she somehow felt trully naked. Noticing a nightstand to her side she looked over the contents. Key to Sew Fine, lamp, marriage band, wait marraige band? How long had she been out. Getting out of the bed, she was immediately bombarded by a small little filly that looked like Notes only with her red hair tipped in blue. "Momma momma daddy made pancakes!" She said excitedly. Exie didn't know what had happened, it was strange that this filly called her mother. But the marraige band. "Good morning dear," said a strangely familiar voice; "how do you like your destiny sunny side up or scrambled?" Asked noteworthy before her dream shattered. The screen was black and movement disappeared. The only movement was from static as she looked around. The screen shrunk and shrunk becoming small almost the size of one of those new phone things. "What do you desire?" "Huh?" Exie asked. "What do you desire." The screen repeated. "Ummm... To understand what my emotions are telling me. What the hell are you?" Exie asked. "Your myself and I'm yourself. To understand yourself? You have answered that question already." "No I haven't what makes you say that?" "First we ache for his nearness." It hissed. "So that's normal for a couple." "Our dream just now." The screen crackled. "Umm that was a bit more night-" "You need to wake up and get off miss." "Huh?" "Miss please wake up." The screen crackled before she started to fall into the black. I awoke from my dream, the train in Ponyville station. I didn't expect any giant welcome home and I didn't get one, I had told no one that I was coming back so as soon as I got off the train and started into town why did everyone bombard me. Octavia, her DJ cousin, those six tight-nit mares and even Applebloom was out and about and gave me a hug when I walked into town square. I told them all hello returned the hug and kept on. I was down to the last block. Three houses from his and I had finally decided. I picked up pace and ran to his door. I held up a hoof to knock but the Door opened by the time it came down it was upon Noteworthy's face. "Oww, sorry I didn't realize you coming back and me opening the door would get me hit." He said. Rubbing his forhead where I had made solid contact. "You dunce don't be so stupid." I said leaving up I kissed him, which after such a long time felt really good. My heart swelled with a simple fact that he was myself and I was himself. We were two as one at that moment. He pulled back and pulled me close bringing me in, " Can't have you freezing when you have no idea how much I've been wanting you to be beside me." Noteworthy said cheerfully. "Dunce... Stop being so gutless." I said playfully shoving him. "Hey!" He said as if it had hurt. "Happy hearth's warming." I sighed happily. "It wasn't happy until you came back. I guess my luck changed a bit." "I guess it did. If you want to keep that luck you better put a band on it." I said half jokingly. I finally answered a unanswerable question correctly. To be or not to be. That's not my question.
