The Epic Tale of Jack Darrius

by Ponyswamp

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Celestia, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Human, Main 6, Princess Luna, Original Character, Other, Adventure
Length: 7660

A teen brony gets the best possible inter-dimensional guests, but things may get far more important than a simple house call.

A teen brony gets the best possible inter-dimensional guests, but he might get more than he wished for. He's told he has a very important destiny, but is he up to the task?

The series (abbreviated as TETOJD) will be divided into quite a few sections and subsections (and possibly sub-subsections), which will be laid out in the chapter title.

I will update this as I finish the chapters. There is no set date for each update, but I'll try to make it more often than every few months.

Note: I updated some description stuff on 4/1/15. (That's January 4th, not April 1st)

Published 2013-07-12 21:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-04-27 03:37:03 UTC

The Fantastical Adventures, And So It Begins, Chapter 4

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The Fantastical Adventures, And So It Begins, Chapter 5

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The Fantastical Adventures, And So It Begins, Chapter 6

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The Fantastical Adventures, By Royal Decree, Chapter 7

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The Fantastical Adventures, And So It Begins, Chapter 1

Chapter I

The Fantastical Journeys of Jack Darrius,

Chapter I

A My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction

By Ponyswamp

First, I'd like to set a few things straight. For one, I'm a brony, and nobody knows. It’s a little sad and cowardly, but I don't really have anyone to tell. I'll elaborate on that later. Second, I barely see my family. I'm an only child, my mom is dead, and the last time I saw my father was last year went he went on a worldwide peace mission, which I'll elaborate upon with the first issue. The previous time I saw my father was when I was born, fifteen years to the day. Happy birthday to me.

The third is that on September 21st, 2015, a few weeks after my birthday, August 21st, a race of magic-wielding aliens attacked and nearly destroyed earth. Yeah, that's a big one. Maybe I should have led with that. Anyways, they devastated nearly half the population of Earth in a 14 year war. My father enrolled in the military two days into the attack, quickly rose through the ranks, and became the highest ranked officer when he struck the final blow against the aliens. Then he began negotiations, the crappy part of ending a war as a high ranking officer.

Now, most people think, ''wow, he's a hero! His son must be honored to have a father like that!'' Yeah, he's a hero, but that's no what I want. I wanted a father, and I sure as hell didn't get one in the underground facility built to try desperately to keep some of the children of Earth safe during the attack I was raised in most of my life. Even for the brief time I did see him, he didn't do much. No dad advice, no throwing baseballs in the park set to happy music, no nothing. So I harbour no feelings of love towards my father. That and other reasons, but you didn't come here for my life story. You came for adventure, courage, fun, ponies, and maybe a bit of comedy. And so you shall receive!

A horrible, repetitive noise invaded my sleep, cutting short my previously uneventful rest. I look around, groggily searching for the demonic device I hid last night. Finding it behind my computer screen, I turn off my alarm clock and look at my computer screen again. It showed my compiled 32 hour marathon of all five seasons of My Little Pony, still running. I can't tell why I love that show so much.

Ever since my dad left, I've been setting challenges for myself to keep me sane, and this was the latest, joining others such as going days without swearing or without talking or using the letter E. I'd been trying for weeks now, still with no success. Looking around, I wonder why It's dark out. I glance at my clock and chuckle. I must have accidentally set it to 11:55 pm as opposed to 11:55 am, the proposed end of my marathon. Realizing my mistake, and that I'd only slept for half an hour, I switch off my computer and settle in to sleep for as long as I needed. The thought that I didn't set my alarm crossed my mind, but I dismissed it.

5 minutes after I settled in for sleep, a flash of light, well, flashed behind me, accompanied by a loud bang. Feeling no gunshot wound, I quickly duck under my covers. Peeking out, I couldn't believe what I saw.

Ugh, I didn't think doing that would be so draining. Looking around, I easily spy my friends, as our elements seem to provide the only light in the area. They seem to be okay, but they are obviously as drained as I am.

''Are you okay?'' I ask, and they grumble in response, rubbing their eyes.

Yeah, this does feel like just waking up. I do a head count, and see that all seven of us are here. Looking around, it appears to be some sort of bedroom, with a desk, dresser, closet and bed, although what I can see on and in these objects is strange.

''Listen up, they've got to be around here some where. Start searching!'' It feels strangely formal, but this is a very important matter.

It doesn't take long for something to turn up. Somepony speaks from behind me, and I spin around to see the bed, with somepony now clearly hiding beneath the covers. They seem very reluctant to reveal themselves, otherwise, they wouldn't hide everything except for their eyes.

''Who... who are you looking for?'' He asks, with a distinctly male voice. He has a strange posture under the bedsheets, but I'll account it to our sudden entrance shocking him upright.

By now my friends have started to gather. ''Well, if you live here, and you're the only one here at the moment, you. We need you to come with us. Equestria is in grave danger!'' I start to leave but stop at the strangely large door.

''Actually, could you tell us where we are? We teleported here via the Elements of Harmony, so we need to figure out how to get back without them, as they need to recharge. Oh, and our names are...''

The strange pony beneath the covers begins to speak quickly. ''Twilight Sparkle, student of Princess Celestia and former resident of Canterlot, Pinkie Pie, assistant to Mrs and Mr Cake of Sugarcube Corner, Rainbow Dash, weather patrol pony, Applejack, owner of Sweet Apple Acres, Fluttershy, local veterinarian and keeper of pets, Rarity, dressmaker and owner of Carousel Boutique, and Spike, baby dragon and assistant to Twilight Sparkle, and all residents of Ponyville. I'm Jack Darrius, and I hate to tell you this but...''

I stand up, shedding my blankets and turning on the light. The seven of them let out a collective gasp at my distinctive non-equine form, and of course, me turning on the light by pressing the light switch. I'm not sure about the reaction I'm gonna get, and they're gonna find out anyway, so I figure honesty is the best policy and tell them now, even though it takes every bit of my courage to tell them just how hard it will be to get home.

''You're not in Equestria anymore.''

The Fantastical Adventures, And So It Begins, Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The Fantastical Journeys of Jack Darrius

Chapter 2

I wasn't sure of what reaction I would get, but I went through with it. Now, I'm running the possibilities through my mind. Disbelief, rage, shock, happiness, viciousness, even confusion all seemed possible. Making a quick look around, I note they are obviously post- Season 3 finale, as Twilight Sparkle was noticeably Alicorn. Now, the only question is whether they're post- Equestria Girls...

I'd seen creatures like this before, but that was after I went through the mirror in Canterlot. We'd expected to be somewhere else in Equestria, maybe even outside of Equestria, but to another world? And I can't help but notice that this human seemed... off. His mane.. no... no, his hair, was a dark brown, went down just past his ears, and right now... was arranged clearly as bedhead. He wore a shirt and pants covered in brown and dark purple plaid, which I'm sure Rarity would want to change. Standing upright on his bed, at least, I'm assuming it's his bed, he stood about as tall as I was at Canterlot High, so I'm assuming he's a high school student. His skin was a pale peach, as I could see clearly in this light. But while these are all astute observations, they are at the moment, relatively unimportant.

The most pressing matter is how he knew us. It's been around a month since that fiasco with Sunset Shimmer, but there's no way that information could have been passed on this quickly. And he recognized us all on sight. How in Equestria could he have...

Applejack and Rainbow Dash asked the question we were all thinking in a way only they could. By lassoing him and pinning him to the bed.

Oh god, this seems so much like a bad clopfic. I'm hogtied in my own bed with two very angry ponies right in my face. Their words blurred together, but I got the gist of it: What the hell, how do you know about us, bla bla bla, threats, yadda yadda...

How can I even be sarcastic at a time like this? The Mane Six and Spike ARE IN MY BEDROOM! How can I be calm!? Well, apparently, I can't. I try to struggle only to find out that Applejack is really, REALLY excellent with a lasso. I can't move a muscle! Where did she even get her lasso? Of course my struggling only prompts more yelling, but this time, the rest of them join in, save for Fluttershy, who is nowhere to be found.

Rainbow Dash and Applejack are still trying to force me to answer, and the rest just want to talk. I'll admit, this seems out of character, but yelling seems to be the acceptable level of volume, and they're probably just scared. Most people, or, ponies, I guess, will lash out when you back them into a corner.

Even Fluttershy.

Especially Fluttershy.

Everyone shuts up when she yells 'Wait!' like when they confronted the manticore. Honestly, it's a lot scarier in person. If I wasn't tied up, I might be shaking.

She approaches me like I was a timid animal, and talks to me like I was one. It was soothing and degrading at the same time. They walk away, talk it over and untie me.

Twilight is the first to speak up.

''Now then sorry about the... abrupt assault.''

''Heh, don't mention it. It just doesn’t happen too often.''

Rainbow Dash and Applejack both mutter an apology, and I decide not to antagonize the ponies who just tied me up.

''So, uh... any of you seven hungry?''

Stomachs growl comically in response. I grinned and led them to the kitchen, down the hall. As soon as we get there, Pinkie Pie freaks out. More than usual.

''Omigosh, this is your kitchen? Wowie, think of all the stuff I could make! It's huge!'' When you've got three ovens and two refrigerators, that's an understatement.

Since they're my guests, I serve them. It's easy since I'm a vegetarian too. Shockingly, though, it wasn't FiM. It was a lack of meat halfway through the war. Some kids gave it up, and the rest got theirs. However, Pinkie Pie kept tearing through the kitchen, rooting through every cupboard and reading every label. I got the feeling cooking won't be an issue, but running out of ingredients will.

I served up some reheated veggie burgers, prompting some... unexpected results. As soon as they bit into it, they gasped. At first, I thought that they were disgusted, but they quickly dug in.

After they finished, they let loose with a mixture of thank you and oh my gosh, that was delicious! Twilight was the first to ask why though.

''Simple. It's mass manufactured to be delicious. I'm not treating you, these are leftovers, I just reheated them.''

They looked a little shocked at that, but accepted it nonetheless. Mostly.

''So, these weren't made by hooves?'' Asked Applejack.  ''Then what... who... how didya make 'em?''

I shrugged. ''They put them on a machine, and it does if for them.'' To me it seemed like an everyday part of everyday life. But Applejack couldn't seem to fathom it.

''But the machines... They're made by hooves, right?''

Now this was at least a question you might normally hear. ''Actually, most of them are made by other machines, made by other machines, until somewhere down the line,  they're not.''

This, unlike the rest of the argument, actually drew the attention of the other six. They were too busy chowing down on their veggie burgers, holding them as easily as if they had hands. I've got to make a point of asking them about that. Seriously, how...

Applejack's voice cut through my thoughts.''But, if it's not made by hooves, then how...''

''Hands.'' I interrupted.

She looked confused. ''Huh?''

I did some jazz hands to show off my fingers. ''Hands. You know, four fingers, one thumb?''

''Oh right, you're one of those weird monkey things Twi turned into. Sorry. Did we go through the mirror and stay ponies? How'd that happen?''

Twilight, unsurprisingly, already had a theory. ''Actually, I don't think we're in that world. I believe that we are in an alternate alternate world. However, that could cause more harm than good, including reality tearing apart at the seams.'' Lovely. Good to know a visit from the main characters of my favourite T.V show could kill us all. ''But that begs the question...'' She turned to me. ''How do you know who we are, and why isn't the universe exploding?''

They all looked at me for answers. I did my best to explain things without talking down to them. I mean, normally you wouldn’t be asked these kinds of questions. Except maybe for amnesiacs and time travellers.

''First, humans are closer to apes, not monkeys.'' Some chuckles that I ignored. ''Second, I have a very common knowledge of the inner workings of the universe, which is to say none at all, so I don't know how we aren't all dead.'' Ignoring suggestions from both Twilight and Pinkie Pie, I strode over to the door to my room.

''And as for how I know you, well, seeing is believing.''

We followed the creature, er, Jack, he was called, into a room I now realize is his bedroom. He sits down at a desk in front of a... computer. Yeah, a computer, that’s what it is. They had some of those in the other alternate universe. As he presses a button and it starts to light up, I start to wonder. What does he want to show us? How did he turned on the light without touching it? What kind of a name is Jack? Seriously, even the creatures in the other alternate universe had normal names. What if...

His anguished shout roused my from my contemplation. I look up to him hitting the computer, mumbling under his breath.

“Damn thing... you crash now?”

As he tried to.. start it or something, I take the time to talk to my friends. “So, what do you think?” I ask.

They look decidedly... confused. “About what, dear?” Rarity chimed.

“About... him.” They relaxed a little at that.

“What do ya mean, Twi? He seems nice enough.”

I admit, I was a little dumbfounded at that. “But, he knows about us. How could he know about us? I just think we should be... cautious, that's all. It's not that I don't trust him, it's just that... I don't know. I get this weird feeling from him.”

Rainbow was about to pipe up, but Jack called us over to him. He turned off the screen just before we got there, then looked at us grimly. I could tell it meant sadness, even on his alien face.

“I'm about to show you something. It's how I know about you. It'll be...” he thought for a moment. He was thinking about every word. Could it really be that bad? “shocking. But you'd find out eventually. Better now from me than on your own later.”

At this point, I'm freaking out. What could it be? Could his computer see into our lives? Or our friends'? Is he talking to somepony at home? Those and a million other theories ran through my head.

But nothing could prepare me for what he showed us. Mainly because it took me a while to understand it. And even longer to comprehend the consequences.

I chose the theme. Season four's seemed the most appropriate, seeing as in that Twilight at least had wings. But it was just the theme. I noticed their elements and realized that they hadn't lost them yet. Also, Applejack said that Twilight went to another world, meaning the whole Sunset Shimmer incident already happened. That means that they're from some point between Equestria Girls and season four.

I looked at them. Mainly confusion, although Pinkie was bouncing along to the beat. When it finished, I cut to the sonic rainboom scene. Then to the wedding. Then to Sombra. Then Discord. And on and on and on until I hit pretty much every episode prior to season four, seeing as that's technically their future.

Then I looked at them. All their confused looks and frowns. And I told them everything. That their from a T.V show. What a T.V show is. How long it's been running for, although I left out season four and up. God I hope they take this well.

I didn't quite understand. But then he explained it, slowly and carefully, choosing every word. When he was finished, I was awestruck. The implications were as numerous as they were confusing and theoretical. Which is to say, a lot.

After the seemingly obligatory silence, I spoke. Not a question, but a statement.

“You seem to be taking this rather well.” He cocked his head. “The ponies you idolize show up one night and say you need to go back to their world with them. If any of us were in this situation instead of you, we'd have some pretty extreme reactions.”

He chuckled. It disturbed me. “Isn't it obvious?” The head shaking was simultaneous. He tapped his head. “I'm dreaming.” This disturbed me a lot more than the knows-about-all-our-crazy-adventures part.

“But we have all our memories. Of course we're real.” He chuckled more. “of course you'd say that. You're supposed to. I...” He stopped and looked at Applejack. He had a glint of realization in his eye.

“Buck me.” That was probably the strangest thing I have ever heard. From the look on Applejack's face, I'd say she felt the same. He didn't stop there.

“You buck me, I wake up, it's all over.” This sounded stupid to me. If he's hunch is true, and he wakes up, we all cease to exist. And I definitely enjoy existing. I do it all the time.

But apparently Applejack didn't get the memo.

She bucked him. Hard. Clearly he didn't wake up, as we still existed. But something seemed off. He doubled over, and seemed to be holding something in. Sure, getting bucked would hurt, and by Applejack? Well, certainly you'd be in extreme pain, but this? This was way more. Then it hit me.

“Um, Applejack?” I said softly, without taking my eyes off the nearly crippled Jack. “Do you know how... erm, mating goes?” She looked rather shocked at this. “Er, I suppose so, sugarcube. But, uh, why?” I glanced over at her.

“I think you kicked him in his... parts.”

Just then, we heard a mumble from Jack. “Cover... your... ears...” was all the warning we got. We were just able to comply before he started screaming in agony. I could just make out some profanities, things I assumed were profanities, and some random screaming mixed in. Fortunately, this didn't go on for long. Unfortunately, that was because he collapsed unconscious onto his bed.

There was a banging on the door. Hard, metallic raps that woke me from my slumber, signalling the dawn of a new day. They hated when I said that. They hated everything about me, and they made it no secret. I wasn't the perfect one, like I'd heard the scientists say. And I loved making them hate me.

After a few minutes of ignoring the knocking, I finally got up when they threatened no meals. I got up, combed my hair as messy as it would go, and set off at a trot down the cold, metallic halls.

The day was a blur. Eat. Anthem. School. Eat. School. Eat. Anthem. Room. Every day, over and over. It was boring. You couldn't really break the schedule, they made sure of that. But it was fun making juvenile pranks on the adults to make their precious schedule more and more torturous for them.

Free time was my me time. I could read up on all the stuff from just before the bunkers. But that's really it. All the other kids hate me. So really, no visits. I walked over to my bathroom and pulled back the shower curtains to reveal my wall. They couldn't really look at me in here, violation of personal space and all that. So they couldn't know that I'd been marking down the days since my dad dropped me here. But today was special. Today was a strange anniversary. Not of years, but of days.

Happy day 1000 in this hellhole. May I get out soon.

I awoke to a sickening feeling in my gut and in my... pelvic area. I nearly dismissed what little I could remember of my dream as just that, and that the Mane 6 and Spike did not, in fact, show up at midnight, when I saw them.

They had fallen asleep on my floor. On the hardwood. Spike was snoring on Twilight's back. This was impossible. I'm waiting for them to say that it's time I woke up when they stirred at my awakening. I want to say my heart exploded twice, but that was kinda a horrible quote. So I won't. Even though it did.

Twilight was the first to speak. “So, I'm guessing we're not a dream, eh?” she said with a smirk. I weighed it over in my head, then nearly passed out back on my bed. Twilight rushed to me, knocking Spike violently to the floor.

“Oh, no you don't. We've been here all night, waiting for you to wake up. You're not sleeping again until we get some answers!” she said with mock anger. I stared at her for a moment, then burst into laughter. So did she, and by then the others had woken up too.

I had to admit, this was a definite big deal. But I couldn't stop laughing. I had a brief thought that I was crazy, but that went away when everyone else started laughing too. This was too perfect a moment to be fake. We settled down after a bit, but we didn't speak until Pinkie stopped laughing. Which was until Rainbow elbowed her a full minute later. I was looking forward to more of this. If it lasted.

I turned to Twilight. “So, now that the excessive laughing fit is over, do you mind telling me why you showed up in my bedroom...” I glanced at my clock. “Last night?” Twilight seemed almost too eager to answer.

“There was an expedition deep into some ruins discovered beneath Canterlot. There was some sort of ancient temple to the sun, but not Celestia. It was very strange, and I was called over to lead the expedition while the previous leader went home to take care of his wife in labour.”

“While I was there, reading more of the works of Starswirl the Bearded, when the wall I was leaning on collapsed. Luckily, I was fine, but there was a hidden chamber behind the wall. There was an altar, with a diagram of the Elements of Harmony. We called the others there immediately. We tried pressing the Elements up to the altar, and it opened.”

“Inside were two stone tablets, both written in ancient Equestrian. One was a spell, that could only be activated by three alicorns and the Elements of Harmony. The second was a prophecy.”

“He who is both far and near will come to save all of the lands in one fell swoop. A spell enclosed to find the warrior you will not make. And then there were long, vague descriptions of risks this mythical hero would be facing, and then there was...” At this point I had to stop her. Luckily, Rainbow and Applejack helped out with the shutting up.

“Okay, okay, we get it. So, to recap, You found a prophecy, teleported to me because somehow I can save Equestria, and I have to go back and do so?” They all nodded. We were all in agreement that my version was better than Twilight's.

I grinned. “So, when can we get started?” Twilight looked shocked. “Wait, you'll come!? Just like that!?” she exclaimed. Clearly she expected some apprehension on my part. “Let's see,” I said. “My idols show up in my house, clearly making my day, they prove their real, further making my day, and then they ask me to go with them to save quite possibly the greatest place I have ever seen? How could I say no!?”

Twilight, clearly, had prepared an answer. “Well, first you'd be leaving your life behind.”

“Done.” I replied.

“And you'd be risking your life for ponies you've never met.”

“In a heartbeat.”

“And you'd be fighting your way against a potential torrent of challenges, only to end up falling off a virtual waterfall in a final, gruelling, climactic battle of some sort.”

“Sharp rocks at the bottom?”

She giggled (squee!). “Most likely.”

I grinned. “Bring it on.”

We tried to return to Equestria. But the Elements didn't work. Twilight desperately tried to examine them, which took her three days. In that time, Pinkie had thrown fourteen parties, drained my baking supplies, and listened to all of my music. There was a really creepy and sad party where she started off by playing “How She Sees The World”, from the Bioshock 2 soundtrack, but we switched quickly to some generic dance music I found on the internet.

Speaking of the internet, they found it. After the war it fell into disuse, except for it's original, military purpose. But it's history was still there. And frankly, that was enough. We had to develop a timetable for my computer (I readily gave up my own computer privileges for their convenience). We also put Twilight on it, just in case, but when she didn't collect, it devolved into a free-for-all.

Though you can probably guess what they did, I’ll still tell the less creative of you. Applejack and Rainbow Dash got really into sports, and rooted for the horses whenever the came across an Equestrian event (go figure). Fluttershy watched anything with animals, and she immediately fell in love with YouTube’s abundance of cat videos. She also became engrossed in earthly horses, attempting to crack the code of why they weren't the dominant species.

Rarity, with some effort, became up to date on fashion, and insisted that she get some supplies so that she could fashion me some fashionable clothes. She also wouldn't take no for an answer. Pinkie Pie began to look at everything, on some unstoppable vendetta to see it all. After she asked me the conversion data from Equestrian years to Earth years so that she could tell if she was indeed “18 or Older”, I put a necessary ban on anything pornographic or disturbing. Didn't want to have to explain that to Celestia.

After three days of everything from neon lights to smoke that smelled vaguely of burnt cabbage leaking out from underneath my door, Twilight finally emerged for more than food. She said that the Elements of Harmony would take a good three more weeks to recharge for the trip back to Equestria. Normally, this would be fine, but I had school to go to.

Let me explain. After the big inter-planetary war, society decided that those important enough to be put in Bunkers were still some of the most important people in the world. Since the aliens were bent on conquest rather than destruction, most of Earth's structures were intact. So, I get to go to school. Lucky me.

We worked out that they would stay cooped up in my house while I was at school, Twilight would help me with my homework, and I'd spend pretty much every waking hour with them. We were all fairly happy with this arrangement. Until Twilight sprung a change of plans on me the day before school.

I woke up early that morning, with the intention of making my lunch and having a shower before they woke up. But when I got to the kitchen, Applejack and Pinkie Pie were already there. Applejack smirked at my mild shock and wordlessly handed me my breakfast, an apple cinnamon bagel. Should have known. As I wolfed it down, they walked around the kitchen making my lunch. Well, Applejack walked. Pinkie bounced silently. As I grabbed my towel and headed to the bathroom, I pondered how she didn't make a sound when she bounced. Shrugging it off as just a Pinkie Pie thing, I undressed and stepped into the shower.

I really did need this. I'd been so busy these past few days keeping up with all seven of them, that I didn't even have time to shower. Luckily, they weren't too accustomed to human smells, so they didn't really notice.

I had just brought my shampoo soaked hands up to my hair when Twilight burst through the door. She didn't know what I was doing, so she was fine, but I nearly fell on my ass. I covered my *NSFW* and demanded she get out. She demanded it couldn't wait. I screamed it could. She looked hurt and disappointed, but she left. I felt bad, but what was I supposed to do? Talk to her with my *NSFW* hanging out? I think not.

About ten minutes later, we had assembled just inside my front door. I cleared mt throat.

“Right, so does everyone remember the rules?” I asked them all collectively. I was met by a fleet of nods.

No going outside, keep the windows shut, adhere to the computer timetable and restricted sites and searches list, and no chatting up the Bronies. That last one could be disastrous. I said my goodbyes and was about to open the door when I felt a tug on my shirt. I turned to see Twilight with an urgent look in her eyes.

She cleared her throat and spoke clearly. “I want to go to school with you.”.

The Fantastical Adventures, And So It Begins, Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Recently, there's been a significant increase in me being dumbfounded. My first thought is that there is no possible way she could go with me. Then I remembered the whole seemingly-infinite-uses-of-magic bit, and I decided to let her continue. After all, she is literally the element of magic. And I'm kind of hard pressed to think of magic as anything other than deus ex machina, so yeah.

I shrugged “Okay, fine.” I said calmly, as if bringing a talking horse princess to school is totally normal. She cocks her head in surprise. “So easily?” she asked, only slightly confused. Honestly, I don't think anything can possibly confuse her enough that she can't figure it out before she starts talking. At least, that's from the last few days with her. She's kinda nuts.

I shrugged once more. “As long as you look human, and not the weird purple skinned thing you were before, I can try to sneak you into the education system.” She snorted derisively before motioning me to follow her while she walked back into my living room. You know, the one with a full home theatre system and wall sized TV I never use. Not to be confused with my bedroom, which, up until recently, I practically lived in.

Twilight trotted to the centre of the room and began clearing out space. We all helped, because house fires, while not necessarily a possibility, are best avoided. She cleared her throat and waited for a silence before explaining her plan. A silence that was quickly provided due to the eagerness of the audience. It seems like Twilight didn't tell anyone about her plan up until now.

“Since the end of my experiments on the Elements of Harmony trying to get us home, I took it upon myself to study the the humans extensively. This includes everything from culture to anatomy. Using a variation of a spell created by the great Starswirl the Bearded to transform ponies into Breezies, I will attempt to transform myself into a human!”

Okay, this just got interesting. Experimental magic? Check. Starswirl the Bearded? Check. Season 4 stuff? Check. Hopefully this will turn out well. I'd hate for Twilight to kill herself trying to go to high school. Although the last time she went it turned out well, so let's give it a shot.

Have you ever seen unicorn magic in person? No? It's breathtaking. First, a purple aura enveloped her horn. The aura grew as she exerted herself more and more in pursuit of becoming a human. She slowly raised into the air, to around eye level. She was slowly enveloped by pulsating tendrils of magic until it formed an orb the size of a small bike in my living room. And soon that orb began to open.

First thing we saw was her hair. At first, we saw no difference, until we saw it's rooting in her scalp. Her distinctly human scalp. Her face came next. She had soft features, a small nose, average sized lips, and medium length eyelashes, all upon a distinctly teenage face. Nothing to boast about, but she looked well kept, and rather pretty. The orb began to quicken it's unravelling, and only then did I realize the only flaw in her plan. To paraphrase AJ, they don't normally wear clothes.

Her distinctly... shall we say, natural form, drew no reactions from the others, apart from the awe at her transformation I now noticed on their faces. From me, a mostly innocent teenager, well, let's say it got the blood pumping.

She lowered to the ground as she opened her eyes, and began to marvel at her own brilliance. Unfortunately, so was I. She noticed my extreme discomfort, and rushed over to help. Grabbing me, she asked if I was alright, and checked my pulse. The proximity proved to much for my fragile head, and I fainted before the other one could take over.

The bunkers aren't really that cold. Geothermic heat keeps them warm. But the steel prison just feels that way. Harsh and unforgiving. A horrible melding of mining, science, and home. The carts full of coal and iron passing through here every day from the mines might be how it feels cold, letting in the air from the mines.

I know this is just a distraction from the task at hand. Getting over this new guy. Every time a new employee is assigned here, administration throws them a welcome party, with mandatory attendance. Normally, I take this opportunity to note the weaknesses of the new guy for future pranks, but he's different.

They say he's here on the insistence of my father. They say he's my behavioural councillor, and that he's going to fix me. He looks nice though. Clearly yet another ploy to break me. But I won't be broken. Mark my words, behavioural councillor, I will break you. I will break you until you beg me for psychiatric aid.

The other employees, I make fear me. I also enjoy making them hate me. You have earned a special honour, though.

I will make you worship me like a god.

I moan and rub my head, having been woken by the sound of... a sewing machine? Standing, I survey the room, and upon noticing it's emptiness, I follow the sound of the machine. As it turns out, it was coming from the sitting room down the hall. The one with completely unused chairs.

Upon my arrival, I see that Rarity is, obviously, the operator of the machine. She's so enthralled in her work that she doesn't notice my entrance, but that doesn't extend to the room's other inhabitants. Rainbow Dash sees me, and motions me over to a small gathering of chairs.

As I walk over, I notice that a bookshelf has been moved away from the wall. Curious, I begin to walk over, but Applejack stops me before I get too far. “Not so fast, sugarcube. We don't want a repeat of last time.” Only then do I realize the purpose of the bookshelf to block Twilight's... openness.

“There. Now do ya mind telling us why you passed out again? Ya seem ta be doing that a lot.” I stare at her, completely dumbfounded. “She was NAKED!” I practically scream, slightly shocking Rarity, but unable to put a fault in her work.

Rarity turned around, and tilted her glasses, which I now noticed she was wearing. “Is that a problem?” she asked, very clearly clueless on the matter. I start to say something, but decide against it. At least Rarity had the idea to make Twilight some clothes. But that begs another question...

“Where did you get the fabric for the clothes?” This evoked furious blushing from all of them. “Well, you see...” Rarity began, but she stopped before finishing her thought. Rainbow almost piped up, but thought better of it. Only Spike found the courage to say what the others could not.

“We kinda had to butcher your clothes.” This caught me off guard. I stared at Rarity. “How much?” I asked, trying to stay calm. She blushed, looked away, and mumbled “All of them.” Okay. I officially couldn't stay calm anymore. “All of it?! All of my clothes?!

“Are you telling me that I only have one set of clothes left?!” She nodded, blushing furiously as she tossed her latest creation over the bookshelf before galloping out of the room. The others went after her, and I sank into the chair feeling like shit.

As I was accosting myself for lashing out, I tried desperately to remember my meditation techniques. I began with some deep breathing when Twilight walked out from behind the bookshelf. She looked rather decent in her only slightly patchwork clothes, but she also looked rather pissed.

“What is wrong with you!?” she screamed, stamping on the ground for emphasis. I felt a boiling sensation in me, which I tried to stave off with more deep breathing. Unfortunately, she didn't take the hint, and continued. “She had no idea how to make clothes for humans, and you didn't have any other fabric she could use! If you had something, any other fabric, then this wouldn't have happened!”

This is too much, even for deep breathing.

Only then did I see it. The rage boiling up inside him as I screamed at him. The pure, primal fury, completely overreacting to the situation. But I didn't dare say it was an overreaction. I just stopped my yelling and stared at those hate filled eyes with a mix of fear, confusion, and rage of my own.

He stormed out of the room, tearing down the hallway into the bathroom, and the click of the lock was audible in the silence. I slumped down into the nearest chair, suddenly exhausted from that impromptu standoff.

Was that it? The reason he was the chosen one? That he had more rage that anyone back in Equestria? That his pure fury could exhaust it's targets? Of all the foes I faced, none of them had that much... intensity to them. No wonder Rarity broke down. Jack  Darrius is terrifying when he's mad.

Suddenly, he burst into the room. I flinched, fearing more anger, but his look was one of distress. “We're late!” he gasped, already sliding on the shoes he wore whenever he went outside. Soothed by his loss of anger, yet terrified at the thought of being late, I took off after him towards his garage.

Only now, as we rush through the halls of his house, do I begin to wonder how we're supposed to get to his school on time. I understand once we reach his garage, though.

From the looks of it, it's a scooter. Granted, it has a motor, and a seat for two, but it's a scooter. Jack tossed me a helmet, perhaps a bit too fast, and quickly snapped one on his own head before we both clambered on to this thing. He opened the garage door, and we sped off.

I glance at the edges of the streets as we speed by. As it was from the windows of his rather large house, there are no signs of civilization past a tree line about half a mile away. If his speedometer is to be believed, it shouldn't take us long to pass it.

We don't speak for the duration of the ride. Mostly because, due to our proximity, I realized that the intensity from his anger had only just begun to subside. Can something with so much rage really be the hero for Equestria? A nation of harmony, saved by a thing of hate? Divine comedy at it's best.

We arrived at the school in a little under a half an hour, just in time for lunch. As we approached the brown, single story building, I wondered for the first time how I was supposed to get Twilight into the school.

I grew up with every kid in this town, and Twilight is definitely an odd one out. With her purple hair and vaguely patchwork clothing, she'll be singled out and questioned on the spot. Not to mention that the administration has a profile on every kid in town.

We pulled up to the parking spot closest to the entrance, and we wordlessly walked up to the entrance. Once inside, I noticed the general emptiness of the school, until I heard laughter and chatting through the closed door of the cafeteria. Lunch time. Twilight tried to dash to the library, but I grabbed her wrist.

She turned to me, confused, and I gestured towards the office. She understood, thankfully. I didn't feel up to speaking with her right now. We walked in, and were greeted with a very displeased looking Mr. Grotch.

Mr. Grotch is the principal of the school, but he's also it's teacher, and the town mayor. He's got three sets of big shoes to fill, but right now his stressful anger seems more directed at me than at his difficult duty.

“Care to explain?” He said simply, yet demanding detail. He wanted to know everything. I'm not telling him anything though. I came up with a ghost of a plan, mostly improvisation, but it should work. That is, if Twilight didn't pipe up.

“I'm an exchange student.” She blurted out. Mr. Grotch raised an eyebrow. “From?” he asked, calm as ever. Twilight perked up slightly. “Equ...” she started, pausing momentarily. “Ecuador.” Nice save. Mr. Grotch wasn't done. “Name?”, he asked, keeping his questions as short as possible. This time, I chimed in. “She's Katie Twi, but I just call her Twi.” Mr. Grotch didn't look convinced. Time for my trump card. “My father sent her.”

At that, Mr. Grotch grinned widely and genuinely. “Why didn't you say so? Any friend of your father's is a friend of mine! Now, let's just forget about this whole lateness mess, and get on with our day!” He shooed us out the door. “You two get along now, busy year of school ahead of you!”

If only you knew I wasn't staying too long. I grinned at Twilight, and she softened up, smiling back. Her smile somehow put me on cloud nine, and I felt like nothing could get in the way of my excellent mood.

Then Butch showed up.

A burly kid, probably Jack's age, walked up to us with two kids, who I assumed were his friends. They grinned at Jack, and everyone tensed. Jack was getting mad again. But the burly kid didn't take the hint.

“Finally got a girlfriend, squirt?” he chuckled, and his friends chuckled too. I got the feeling they were his goons, not his friends. Jack smirked. “No just a friend. Not like you'd understand, Mr. Cut-to-Fourth-Base.” the burly kid tensed and clenched his fists, but still smirked. “So you laid no claim on her foreign slopes?” Jack ground his teeth. “Don't you dare, Butch.” Butch grabbed me suddenly, and roughly pulled me over to him. I almost cried out for help. But Jack moved too quickly.

He was unbelievable. He punched Butch in the face, then spun around and got one of the goons in the gut. I noticed Jack was mainly using his left arm, but still used his right, as shown when he grabbed the back of the second goon's head and brought it into his fist.

Butch discarded me and rushed to attack Jack, and Butch tackled him right after Jack punched the first goon in the head. The first goon didn't get up, but Jack curled up into a ball before slamming his feet into Butch's chest, knocking him clear across the hall. The second goon jumped onto Jack's back. I saw Jack's eyes, though. I saw more rage than ever. I knew this wouldn't end well.

Jack flipped the goon onto the floor, propping him up against the wall. The goon looked up with hope and fear, pleading for mercy. He knew what was coming. I wish I did. Maybe I could have stopped Jack. Maybe I wouldn't have thrown up.

Jack stomped on the goon's leg. I could hear the bone snap before I saw his leg bent backwards. I heard the screaming, a primal cry like a dying animal, and I keeled over and threw up. It felt like an eternity later, but the vomit stopped. Jack turned to face me, his anger long melted away. Or all channelled into that last, horrific attack. He extended a hand to me. My heart was pounding, and I didn't know what to think about Jack now, but I took his hand.

And we ran.