Chapters A heart-filled sob broke through the air. There, in a huddled mass on her couch, laid a heartbroken pegasus. She cried gentle, silent sobs as the day’s events ran through her head once more. She had just opened her heart, poured it out to Applejack, the mare of her dreams. At first, she took it as a joke, so she let out a hearty laugh. After some time passed, she realized that Fluttershy was serious. What followed next hurt even more.
Disgust. Applejack told Fluttershy how unnatural and sick it was. All the pegasus had received for opening her heart was pain and a sense of emptiness. Not many ponies talked to her, let alone put up with her overwhelming shyness. It hurt just to think about it! And if the pain wasn’t enough, the pony she had thought cared for her, who could possibly be something more than a friend, had crushed her. Well they don't call it a crush for nothing.
Eventually, Fluttershy fell asleep, although her dreams were not an escape from her pain tonight. No, they held even more pain, forcing her to relive some of her dark times in Cloudsdale. Most of the ponies at Flight School tormented her, branded her an outcast, and called her freak after she had been caught admiring another mare. They would pull her mane, slam doors in her face, and basically make her life a living hell. But then, she met Rainbow Dash, the only pony to ever stand up for her. She was Fluttershy’s knight in shining armor, but it was clear that Rainbow did not see mares that way.
However, even with her new ally, they still tormented and mercilessly degrading her. When she had finally found her special talent, it was all the more reason for her to leave. She moved to Ponyvile, trying her hardest to put everything about her past behind her, including Rainbow Dash. She gradually adjusted to life in Ponyvile, a new life slowly filling her as her traumatic experiences were pushed further and further into the recesses of her mind. Then came the fateful day when she saw Rainbow Dash in Ponyvile. Her presence dug up some terrible memories, along with some more pleasant ones. As the days went on, more terrible memories would resurface, but it was not a problem. She was able to ignore these thoughts, thanks to the pony she could call her one, true friend. More and more friends would make their way into her heart, and she finally felt like she belonged. Unfortunately, such feelings were not meant to be.
Fluttershy opened her eyes, tears streaming down her cheek. She sat up, unable to sleep any longer, as her mind started to wander. Slowly Fluttershy thought of her other friends. She thought of how Pinkie made her laugh with her goofy antics and silly jokes. However, that was all that she had. She was nice. But she was rarely serious and could never focus on the matter at hand. Sometimes she was too random, but at other times Pinkie really pulled through. Ultimately, she was not Fluttershy’s type of pony.
Next, she thought of Rarity and her supportive nature; always putting others first, offering a helping hoof whenever possible. She was gorgeous, but a bit too over dramatic for Fluttershy’s tastes. Rarity was effected by anything that was even the slightest bit annoying. Although she and Fluttershy had so much in common, Fluttershy only loved her as a friend.
Then came Twilight. She was knowledgeable and kind, always trying to help anypony, even if she had no idea what she was doing. She trusted the information from her books a bit too much, since she had a book on nearly everything, including things that wouldn’t need a book. She was a pretty pony, and a great friend, bu nothing more than that.
Finally, she thought of Applejack. This brought up a new wave of tears, as sobs shook her body, once again. She had thought that AJ would feel the same way, considering how she was always there for her, sometimes going out of her way to make Fluttershy feel better. However, she was wrong. All that revealing her true feelings did was bring more pain. Her past was bad enough, but the recent chain of events shattered the last of her self confidence. This was the last straw for Fluttershy. She took out a piece of paper, preparing a last message to anyone who bothered to come find her.
As she finished the note, she put it in an envelope and set it on the table. Although she did feel bad that she was leaving the animals unattended, she just couldn’t take it anymore. She was sure that somepony would come and find the animals and take care of them in her place. She pulled some rope lying on the floor, she carefully tied the rope into a noose and flew up to the ceiling, hanging it from the rafters. She then put the noose around her neck, she let out more sobs as she realized what she was about to do, and stopped flying. Immediately her body fell downward, beginning to pull her right into the bottom of the noose. Her vision began to fail. Splotches of black formed in the edges of her vision, slowly covering her sight. Slowly they grew, connecting into one giant dark mass blocking out her sight. As she started to slip into the realm of unconsciousness, Fluttershy heard a crash. But before she could react any further, she finally slipped into the dark unconscious bliss that she'd been waiting for.
Rainbow Dash woke up to the same scene she had seen for the past few days. White walls, white ceiling, beeping machines, scattered “get well” cards and Fluttershy lying in her bed. Only the slightest rising and falling of her chest provided any sign of life. Rainbow rubbed her eyes, trying to shake the sleep from her body and mind. She glanced at the clock, seeing that it was a little after nine. She then turned her gaze back towards the mare lying in the bed. Her mind kept drifting back to that one moment when Fluttershy had fallen and all she could do is watch.
If she had reacted fast, been faster or even thought of it faster, Fluttershy wouldn’t be here. She’d be back at home with her animals, humming happily as she worked, instead of lying there like a lifeless body. Rainbow continued her train of thought, imagining how the whole situation would be better if she had just reacted faster.
As she was thinking, Fluttershy's hoof twitched, just the smallest amount. Her eyelids began to flutter before they were squeezed tight. The sight of this made her heart jump up into her throat. But then what Rainbow Dash saw next broke her heart. Tears started to stream down Fluttershy’s face, soft sobs shaking her whole body.
"Fluttershy? Are you OK? What’s wrong?” Rainbow Dash asked, her concern sketched on her face. At the sound of her voice, Fluttershy froze, her body locked in place. The tears, however, continued to fall, staining her coat and bedsheets.
“Fluttershy? It’s OK, it’s just me, Rainbow Dash. You know, your best friend since forever. Don’t worry, I’m here now. It will be alright.” Rainbow Dash said, slowly reaching out to the bedridden pegasus in front of her. She just wanted to comfort her friend, to show her that somepony was there with her in this time of need. When Rainbow touched Fluttershy, the pastel pegasus pulled back, before slowly easing her hoof back forward. Rainbow gently grabbed said hoof and began to slowly stroke it. After a good period of time, Fluttershy began to relax, leaning back into the bed. She finally opened her bloodshot eyes, and the moment that Rainbow looked in them, her world as she knew it ended. There was no trace of the sweetness she used to know, nor was there the hope and happiness she had come to know and love. All there was only pain, hurt and something else that she could not name. But that unknown something made Rainbow feel even worse.
As soon as Fluttershy opened her eyes, she tensed back up again as sobs began to shake her body again. Rainbow Dash, never one to be too good at the touchy- feely sort of thing, had no clue what to do. Giving it her best guess, the cyan mare slowly wrapped her hooves around the sobbing pony, pulling her close. As soon as Rainbow has her hooves around , Fluttershy quickly returned the hug, burying her head into the shoulder of her friend. Slowly Fluttershy’s sobs became less intense until they faded away completely. They continued to sit there for a long period of time, holding onto the other, lost in this moment, the world around them not mattering for once. As she was stroking Fluttershy’s back, Rainbow Dash saw Nurse Redheart motioning for her to come over. Sighing, Rainbow slowly pulled out of the hug and looked the pastel pegasus in her eyes.
“Fluttershy, I’ve got to go talk to the doctors OK? I’ll be right back.” Rainbow Dash said carefully, hoping that her friend would be fine with out her. Fluttershy nodded, the sullen look never leaving her face. The cyan mare slowly got off the chair and walked to where the nurse was standing, before she looked back quickly to see her friend, not wanting to leave her alone for a moment. Seeing that all was OK, Rainbow Dash walked out into the hall to talk with Nurse Redheart.
“Miss Dash, as you know, your friend has suffered an injury. Normally something of this type of injury would just require the pony involved to take it easy for a few days. But, based on your accounts, this was an attempt to take her own life. That is a very serious issue, usually stemming from a serious mental problem. We believe that she should be under close watch for at least the next couple of days, with her going to some therapy sessions to help her deal with these problems for the next couple of weeks, bare minimum.” Nurse Redheart said with a somber expression. Rainbow Dash listened to the nurse, taking in what she said. She hadn’t really thought of what Fluttershy had been doing, only that she needed help. Slowly the bits and pieces began to join together in Rainbow’s mind, the level of sensitivity that Fluttershy is at, the pain of heart break, and the natural timidness the pastel pony is at. Then in a flash, it all came together, hitting the cyan mare like a high speed cart. This is Fluttershy, the pony who can barely speak up when asked to go and do something dangerous, revealing her feelings to another pony. The sheer level of feelings that she must gone through weighed on Rainbow’s mind as she realized what being hurt like that could do to a normal pony.
It suddenly made sense as to what had happened. When it made sense, it hit Rainbow like a ton of bricks. She looked back at the pony laying in the hospital bed, who was crying yet again. She looked back at the nurse, with a simple nod and a quick “I’ll do it”, Rainbow Dash walked back over to Fluttershy and pulled her back into a hug. Gripping her as tight as she could manage without hurting the heartbroken pony. Rainbow then slowly rocked back and forth, still holding onto the crying mare tightly.
“Shhhhhhhhhh, it’s OK. I’m here. Everything is going to be ok.” Rainbow Dash said calmly. She slowly stroked Fluttershy’s mane, trying to calm the pony in her hooves. After a short period of time, Fluttershy’s breath returned to normal before slowing down even more, as she fell into a much needed sleep. Rainbow Dash carefully laid the sleeping mare back into her bed before heading back to the nurse to fill out the required paper work.
After that tedious task was done, Rainbow Dash went back to her seat for the past few days to wait for the sleeping mare to wake up once more so that they could head home. But as Rainbow thought of heading home, she realized that they would need to do something about where they were planning on sleeping considering that she couldn’t leave Fluttershy alone. If they were to head to Rainbow’s house, they could be away from anypony that might worsen Fluttershy’s current mental state, specifically a certain orange earth pony. But then Fluttershy also would have to head out into public if she wanted to see her other friends, considering that they weren’t pegasi. Figuring that it would be for the best if the gentle pony could be near the ones that loved her, she begrudgingly decided to leave her cloud home for the time being for the sake of her friend. When she finally reached her mental conclusion to this dilemma, she looked back at the exhausted pony in front of her. She reached out, gently moving Fluttershy’s mane out of her face. How Fluttershy could try to do such a thing was beyond Rainbow. And since she considered Fluttershy to be one of her closest friends made her realise how little she knew about Fluttershy. Sure, she knew all the superficial things, like her birthday and favorite color, but not her hopes or her dreams. Determined to find out more about her friend, Rainbow laid back in the chair, waiting for Fluttershy to wake up.
Fluttershy woke up in the hospital, her body feeling hollow and empty. This feeling was not new to her, in fact it was what she almost always felt whenever she woke up. She groggily opened her eyes. The bright light of the midday sun broke through the blinds, giving the stark white room a faint glow effect. As her eyes adjusted to the brightness of the room, she took a look around to see what else the room contained. There sitting in the chair, just as she had been the last time she woke up, was Rainbow Dash, looking at Fluttershy with concern in her eyes.
“Hey Fluttershy, are you ready to head home?” Rainbow asked, watching the timid mare closely. The fact she was doing this was not unnoticed by Fluttershy. She felt every one of her moves being watched, as if Rainbow Dash was worried that Fluttershy would do something drastic. Fluttershy just nodded her head, ready to get away from the hospital. Rainbow helped Fluttershy get out of the bed, just barely touching her, as if she was afraid that Fluttershy would break if she was touched any harder.
Slowly the two mares made their way towards the exit of Ponyville’s hospital. Upon seeing the empty streets, Fluttershy let out a quiet sigh, glad that there was nopony else there to see her like this. Rainbow Dash looked at Fluttershy with a confused look before focusing back on the street. The two mares continued walking towards the edge of Ponyville, neither of them saying a word. Fluttershy didn’t mind, she really didn’t want to have to say anything. She was tired of being hurt, and no matter what she did, she wound up being hurt. It wasn’t like she tried to get hurt, or even looked for a reason to be hurt, it just kinda happened. Unconsciously, she began to hide behind her mane, trying to hide from all that caused her pain.
“You OK, Fluttershy?” Rainbow Dash asked, the concern etched on her face as she watched her friend shrink away from the world without an apparent reason. Fluttershy nodded meekly, not trusting her voice not to fade away. Rainbow Dash stared at the pastel mare before she slowly turned away, focusing on the path ahead of them. Fluttershy sighed softly, glad that Rainbow had not pushed her for answers. The two of them continued down the road silently, walking towards Fluttershy's cottage. Fluttershy kept glancing at the cyan mare next to her, trying to build up the courage to say something, anything really, just so that the awkward silence between the two would disappear. Right when Fluttershy had built up enough nerve to say something, they had reached her cottage.
"Well here we are. Would you open the door Fluttershy?" Rainbow said, smiling at Fluttershy. She meekly nodded and opened up the door. The two walked into the cottage before Rainbow shut the door behind them. Fluttershy turned around, facing her long time friend. The two stood there for a bit before the tension became a bit too much, causing them both to look away. Feeling the need to break the silence, Fluttershy quickly thought of a reason to leave the room.
"Would you like something to drink?" Fluttershy mumbled, hoping to get an excuse to get out of the room and maybe get a chance to gather her courage to talk to the weatherpony currently standing in her living room. Rainbow Dash looked at Fluttershy, pondering on the implications of letting her friend be alone, no matter how little distance or time she would be away from her sight. After nodding, Fluttershy quickly walked out of the room, glad that she hadn't had to spend too much more time in there. As she made some tea for the two of them, she slowly thought of what she could say to explain what she did. She wasn't sure what to say though, because if she was to say the truth, then she might lose the the thing that was holding her together. If nopony had been there when she woke up, then it would have proved some of her darkest fears all along. As much as she liked to hope that there was always somepony there for her, her past told her otherwise.
A sharp whistle of the teakettle broke the Pegasus' train of thought. She quickly got to mixing in the tea leaves before she put it all on a tray. She set the tray on her back before she timidly began to walk back to her living room. Laying on the couch was a sleeping Rainbow Dash, her limbs spread in all directions, as if they were trying to escape from her body. Fluttershy quietly set the tray down on the table before looking around her house. The place looked almost exactly the same as the night she tried to end it, with the exception of the note and the noose. She then looked outside, at the bright sunny day that was in progress. Deciding to check on the happenings of her animal friends, Fluttershy walked outside.
Once outside, Fluttershy found herself looking for the animals that normally lived within her yard. After looking in the nearest burrow, she found it surprisingly empty. She quickly checked the next one, but it was also empty. Fluttershy frantically searched each hole, burrow and house, searching for any critter. But as she moved from dwelling to dwelling, she found nothing. After she had checked all the empty bird houses, Fluttershy collapsed onto the ground.
All of her precious animal friends, gone. She sat there as it began to sink in. In all of her dark moments since the day she fell from Cloudsdale, the animals were there for her. All the times she had broken down crying, a sweet little bird or mouse, or even Angel Bunny, would come and comfort her, chasing away the tears and bringing in a small smile. But now? Now she felt more alone than ever. Fluttershy began to cry, her body shaking as quiet sobs wracked her body. She cried her heart out, then cried some more. Above her, the sky darkened droplets of water began to fall, as if the world had sensed her pain and was crying with her. A crack of thunder echoed around her, but none the less she cried more.
"FLUTTERSHY! YOU NEED TO GET INSIDE!" A voice yelled over the rain. Fluttershy looked over and saw Rainbow Dash staring directly at her. Fluttershy looked down at the ground before slowly standing up and trudging to the door. Rainbow quickly moved aside to let the drenched Pegasus get inside. Fluttershy quietly walked in with her head down and made her way to the sofa. She sat down on the floor near the sofa, her eyes never leaving the ground. Rainbow Dash sighed, before taking in a decent sized breath.
"Fluttershy, look at me," The cyan mare said as paused for the wet mare in front of her to meet her eyes," You've gotta let go of whatever it is that's making you act like this. You're better than that. Where's the mare who soothed a raging manticore, who stared down both a dragon and a cockatrice? She wouldn't be doing this, she would be out there with her friends. Look, we all go through tough times, but you can't let that get to you. I completely agree that what AJ did was cruel, but you have to keep moving on." The whole time Fluttershy sat there staring at the ground. At the mention of Applejack, she lowered her head and began to cry again, sobs that were just louder than a whisper shaking her body. Rainbow Dash stood there, her heart breaking at the sight of this. She slowly sat down in front of the sobbing mare, and put a hoof on her shoulder. Fluttershy lunged forward, clinging onto the weatherpony as if she was about to disappear. Rainbow sat there awkwardly for a moment before tentatively putting a hoof on her sobbing friend's back. And they sat there like this for a long while, no sound going through the cottage except for the soft sobs of a broken Pegasus mare.
As time went on, Fluttershy's sobs weakened, and her tears began to slow. She slowly leaned back to look at the rainbow maned pegasus who's coat she had just soaked. Rainbow gave her friend a small smile. Fluttershy looked back at the cyan mare, her eyes bloodshot from all the crying she had done.
"Thank you," Fluttershy whispered as she looked down, tears staining her muzzle. She sighed, her shoulders slumping. All she wanted to do was disappear. The pastel pony slowly started to make herself shrink, laying closer to her floor.
Fluttershy slowly looked up at her friend, the one who had always been there, the one who had always held a place in her heart, and thought that she might see something more in the look in the cyan Pegasus’ eyes, something that she had not noticed before. Abandoning her shy self, she lifted her head up to Rainbow’s muzzle and stole a quick kiss.
The kiss was quick, nothing more then a peck. It was less of a romantic outburst and more of a question. A question of hope, of a reason to keep on fighting. Fluttershy leaned her head back, she stared into Rainbow Dash's eyes, looking for some sort of confirmation, a sign that what she did is right. But as she looked, she saw shock, surprise, and confusion. Fluttershy slowly lowered her head, choosing to stare at the ground instead of her friend.
"Why did you do that Fluttershy?" The cyan mare asked. There was no malice in her voice, there was no anger. It was just cold, like Rainbow Dash had gone onto autopilot. Fluttershy cringed at the sound of Rainbow's voice.
"I...I do-don't kn-know. I th-thought th-that you might ha-have felt someth-thing more, but it's OK th-that you do-don't. I... I wasn't th-thinking." The pastel pony whispered, eyes never leaving the ground, her head hung in sadness. As soon as she finished, she felt her friend move away from her. Fluttershy looked up at Rainbow Dash, who was now standing above her, the weatherpony's face expressionless. Her eyes were staring straight ahead, as if she could see something that wasn't there. Slowly she opened her mouth and spoke.
"I'm going to go now 'Shy. I'm not sure what that was about. You know that I do not feel about mares that way. I’m sorry ‘Shy, I do care about you, I really do, but as a friend. You obviously need some space to think, and I'm going to give that to you. See ya later 'Shy." Rainbow Dash said in an expressionless voice, the look on her face never once changing. When she finished speaking, she quietly walked out of the cottage and shut the door behind her.
Fluttershy just laid there, her thoughts weighing her down. She felt the pain, the loneliness, the hurt creep back into her mind. She felt so alone, her crush had rejected her, calling her a freak and a sin against nature. Her animals left her, without her knowing why. She chased her best friend away, scaring the only pony who had been there when she needed help the most. All she could do is lay there. She couldn't find the will to move, nor the drive to do anything drastic. She couldn't cry, because she was all cried out. So she sat there, staring at the floor, consumed by her thoughts. That's how she remained for who knows how long, until she slipped off into the bliss of unconsciousness.
[A/N] Hey everybody, thanks for being so patient about this. I realize that this took forever to get out, and I'm sorry for that. You all are much better readers than I could ever ask for. Feel free to comment or message me. I'll try to do better on producing faster for the next one. This is BL signing out.
Twilight woke up with a groan. Her head hurt, her body ached and she just wanted to lay her head back down. As the librarian moved away from her desk, her makeshift bed after she passed out from an intense night of studying, and turned her attention towards the pounding on her door that had woken her from her much craved sleep.
“One second! I’m coming, I’m coming.” Twilight shouted towards her door. Groaning again as she stood up, the purple mare shuffled towards the door. She grumbled as she moved across the room with her eyes almost completely shut, the precious few hours of sleep she got obviously not enough. When the sleepy mare finally reached the door, she quickly opened it, a look of strong displeasure aimed at the pony standing on the other side, her eyes squinted, a scowl across her face and her mane sticking up all over the place. The glare dropped from her face as she saw Big Mac waiting outside, confusion quickly replacing it.
“Big Mac, what a surprise! Do you want to come in? I mean, I wasn’t expecting anypony this early, so the place is a little messy, but still you’re completely welcome here. This is a library after all, although most ponies don't come here. Which I don't completely understand because libraries are a fantastic place to be.” Twilight paused taking a deep breath before continuing. “Anyway, what can I do for you?" Twilight said to the down crested farmer. She tilted her head slightly, trying to get a better look at the stallion.
What she saw were the telltale signs of exhaustion, from the red, bloodshot eyes to the large bags underneath them. Big Mac sighed deeply before looking up to the sky for a moment, gathering his thoughts. After a few seconds, the giant stallion lowered his gaze back to the purple mare in front of him.
"Ah need your help Ms. Twilight. Somethin' big is up with AJ, but I can't get a thing outta her. All Ah know is she got in a tussle with the friend of y'all, the one with the rainbow mane, an' now jus’ sits on her bed starin' at the wall. Ah don' know what tah do with her. Ah tried givin' her some space, but Ah'm at the end of mah limits. Ah need her to start workin' again, else Ah dunno what'll happen tah the farm." After the stallion finished speaking, Twilight sat there for a few moments, thinking over what she had been told of. She had just found out about a fight among her friends. And from the looks of Big Mac, this fight had obviously been a few days ago at least. Slowly, Twilight nodded to the farmer, signaling that she was willing to help with Applejack, even if she had no clue about what had happened.
"I just need one moment to take care of a few things really quickly before we leave." added the purple mare before heading back into the library. Taking out a quill and some parchment for her desk, Twilight scribbled out a note to Spike explaining where she had gone and that she didn't know when she would be back. As soon as she finished that, the purple mare quickly brushed her hair and headed back outside. When she got outside, she closed the door and locked it.
"Thank ya kindly Ms. Twilight. Jus' follow me." Big Mac said before turning around. The duo slowly made their way towards Sweet Apple Acres. The sun was shining and not a cloud in sight. But none of this meant anything to Twilight. She was too busy focusing on why Big Mac had asked her to come with. One of the things that seemed to define Applejack was her work ethic. The idea that something had upset her to the point where she stopped working was astounding.
But it was more than just Applejack’s sudden loss of motivation that confused Twilight, she was also confused by the fact that the fight had been with Rainbow Dash. The two had a history of being competitive, but would they really let it go that far. That also left the question of what could possibly cause Rainbow Dash to go that far? All of this ran through the purple mare’s head as the pair headed towards the orchard.
The red stallion in front of her, on the other hoof, had substantially less on his mind. He was busy thinking about what needed to be done around the orchard, from fixing broken fence posts to bucking more trees. He was glad that Ms. Twilight had agreed to talk to his sister though, because he couldn’t handle all the work on his own.
Soon enough the pair reached Sweet Apple Acres. After walking through the immense property, the two ponies reached the old Apple homestead. Big Mac turned to Twilight, who was still lost in her own world. Twilight kept walking forward until, with a solid thunk, she hit the farmpony who brought her here in the first place. Blushing, the unicorn picked herself up. When she was back on her hooves, Big Mac spoke.
“Ms. Twilight, as much as Ah’d like tah take ya up tah mah sister, Ah need tah get work ‘round here else we’ll fall even further behind. Ya do know where her room is, don’t ya?” The red stallion asked. After receiving a slow nod, the workhorse trotted away from the house to begin his chores for the day. Twilight watched him as he walked away, uncertain about how the visit would unfold.
When Big Mac finally disappeared from her sight, the purple unicorn turned around to face the house. Carefully she walked up to the home, the boards creaking under her as she passed over them. The librarian made her way into the house and up the stairs. There, on the left, was Applejack’s door sitting slightly ajar. As she approached, Twilight looked through the slit of space between the door and the door frame. Just as Big Mac had described, Applejack sat completely still, staring straight at the wall. Getting closer now, Twilight used her magic to push the door further open to the point where a pony could enter with ease.
Stepping through the door frame, Twilight finally was able to get a good look at her friend. The orange mare looked awful. Her mane was a bigger mess up than usual, her coat was covered with stains, and she did not appear to have bathed in a few days, which was unbelievable, even for a mare like Applejack. Her shoulders were slumped forward and dark circles danced under her eyes, their hue rivaling those of her brother. Her bloodshot eyes were void of any sentience, like her mind is someplace worlds away. Twilight continued to move through the room, receiving no reaction from her friend on the bed. As the unicorn walked through the room, she accidentally hit her hoof on a loose plank, making a small noise. The sound quickly brought Applejack’s mind back into focus, her eyes darting towards the offending sound. The orange mare’s eyes screamed out to Twilight, the green irises completely void of emotions.
“Howdy Twilight.” was all the farmer said to her friend before she turned back to the wall. Twilight quietly began to approach the bed, watching Applejack’s reaction with every movement. The orange mare did not react, her eyes focused forward, her mind somewhere else. When Twilight finally reached her friend’s side, she quietly sat down on the bed, staring at the ground. Her mind was preoccupied with how to start this conversation. The purple mare was absolutely lost on what she could possibly say to begin to get to the problem her friend was dealing with. Deciding that the direct approach would work best, Twilight hesitantly put her hoof on Applejack’s shoulder and sighed. The orange mare looked at her, and the librarian began.
“Applejack, what happened to you? I’ve never seen you like this before. Even in your hardest times, you would always atleast try to work through the problem. What could Rainbow Dash have possibly done to change that?” The purple mare said, her eyes staring straight into the farmer’s. Slowly, the orange mare’s eyes began to change, from icy, unreadable walls into deep, emotion-filled pools. Her inner turmoil surfaced only temporarily, giving Twilight a glimpse of what her friend was feeling. Then Applejack closed her eyes and turned away, her attention turning towards the window on their left, towards the green treetops and the blue sky just outside.
The two of them sat there for a few minutes, neither saying a word. Applejack was off in her head again, while Twilight waited impatiently for her friend’s troubles to be revealed. The emotions the purple mare caught a glimpse of in Applejack’s eyes ignited a burning desire within her to find the answers, so she could help solve the puzzle that had put the blonde mare in such a state. With a deep sigh, Applejack began to speak.
“It ain’t jus’ somethin’ that she said Twi’. It’s what she tol’ me. She tol’ me how Fluttershy tried tah take her own life, all cuz of somethin’ Ah said.” At this point tears were welling in Applejack’s eyes, but her facial expression did not change, remaining as stoic as ever. Twilight was shocked at the news, finding that one of what she considered to be her closest friends, tried to kill herself. Before the purple mare could begin to ask questions, the farmpony continued.
“Surprised me too. That’s what Rainbow had come over here for. She wanted ta know why Ah would do that sorta thing ta Fluttershy. Ah don’ rightly know myself. Ah mean, my Ma an’ Pa had always taught me that fillyfoolin’ and coltcuddlin’ was wrong. Ever’ time we’d be walkin’ through town, and a couple’a mares would be sittin’ a little too close, then Pa would jus’ go off. One time, when Pa was takin’ me home through Ponyville, we saw these two stallions who were havin’ a picnic. They were jus’ eatin’ some strawberries when one leaned in real close like an’ their lips were touchin’, only they didn’ stop touchin’. Pa scooped me up an’ covered mah eyes. When we finally got home, he sat me down and tol’ me ‘AJ, Ah wan’ ya to listen to me, an’ listen good. What those stallions were doin’ in the park is wrong, ya hear me? Mares ain’t supposed to have feelin’s for other mares, and two stallions shouldn’ be kissin’. Tha’ is somethin’ that should only happen between a mare an’ a stallion, an’ don’ you dare let me catch ya cuddlin’ up to ‘nother filly, or Sweet Celestia, there will be Tartarus to pay.’ An’ Ah believed him. Twi’ Ah believed him.” The farmmare was openly crying now, tears streaming down her face as she hung her head before she continued, “An’ now one of mah best friends went and tried tah kill herself. Ah jus’ dunno what tah do anymore.”
Twilight said nothing, shocked by what she had heard. Quietly, the purple mare reached over to her crying friend, and pulled her into a tight embrace. This caused the Applejack to break out into another wave of tears, sob beginning to shake her body. The earthpony returned the hug, burying her head into the shoulder of her friend. The two mares continued to sit there like that for a while, long past the point where the tears stopped flowing. As they sat there, busy weather ponies pushed clouds across the sky. The sky rapidly began to darken, until a bright flash of lightning followed by a thunderous crack signaled that the bright day had been replaced by an aggressive storm.
Author's Note
Hey everybody. So this was probably the toughest chapter to write yet. No matter how hard I've tried, it won't come out exactly as I would like it to. There are a couple of chapters that I have rewritten at least five times. I will also apologize if it has come out a little rough. I tried to get into contact with my pre-readers, but I have not heard word form them yet. That being said, I probably could have given them more time, but I was excited to publish this chapter. Don't worry though, I did TRY to edit the chapter, which wound up meaning more rewrites. If there are any major errors, please let me know. Anyway, sorry for disappearing, and for rambling.
-B.L.
Rainbow Dash sped through the pouring rain.The ice-cold rain was beginning to soak through her coat leaving her body numb, just like the rest of her had hours ago. The cyan mare haphazardly veered to the left, narrowly avoiding another rooftop. The mix of tears and rain clouding her vision did not help, but she needed the thoughtless bliss that flight normally provided. Even something as freeing as the skies could not help the weatherpony shake the thoughts racing through her troubled mind.
Rainbow Dash began to speed up, her frozen muscles protesting as she pushed herself to fly even faster, in vain attempts to outrun the thoughts bogging down her mind. Twisting and turning through the pouring rain, strikes of lightning flashing across the sky. Each strike brought a new flash of vision for the rainbow maned pegasus. A treetop here, a rooftop there. Feeling her muscles beginning to lose all control, Rainbow Dash twitched the backs of her wings downward, arching her trajectory upwards. The small twist sent her rocketing through the cloud cover, changing the area around her into a vast blue sky above and a dark grey sea of clouds below.
As the cyan mare continued to shoot skyward, the day’s events continued to go through an endless loop in her head. All of the joy she felt of ‘Shy waking up, to the uneventful walk home. From the disheartening moment of her friend finding all her animal friends gone, to the kiss. The kiss that tormented her for every second since the weatherpony left her friend’s house. It was unprovoked, shocking, and surprisingly pleasant.
The cyan mare shook her head as the thought ran through her head. Everypony expected her to be straight, so why were these thoughts coming back to her now. It had been bad enough in Flight School, when she was standing up for Fluttershy. All the ponies that called her a lesbian, who tormented her because of her want to defend a weak, kind, pretty- Rainbow shook her head again.
At this point all the momentum from her earlier flight had burnt off, leaving the mare floating above the sea of storm clouds. The sun was starting to go down, tinting the clouds bright reds, vibrant oranges, and soothing yellows. The whole scene was incredibly serine, but did little to settle the inner turmoil that was raging through the speedster. Her mind was going to war with her heart, each side fighting on what to do. To give into these strange feelings, or to stay with what she had always known.
Rainbow Dash sighed, her shoulder sagging as her mind raced in endless circles. She continued to stare out into the vast sky around her as the sun finished it’s decent and gave way to the full moon. The change in lighting did nothing to quell the thoughts racing through the speedsters head. As the stars blinked into existence above her, Rainbow Dash slowly began drifting aimlessly across the sky. While distracted with her thoughts, her body began to carry her faster over the sea of clouds. Each beat of her wings took her further across the sky. The clouds below her slowly started to dissolve, each having run out of rain to drop onto the world underneath.
Looking down, the cyan mare began to see trees blur beneath her. In the distance a barn rapidly approached. A strikingly familiar barn, a barn that she had help one of her friends build. Scowling, the speedster turned, not wanting to continue in that direction. All that direction held for her was anger and betrayal.
Arcing upward in a tight corkscrew, the prismatic pony slowed to an eventual stop and looked at the town that lay before her, each little section unveiling itself before her as the cloud cleared in the night sky. She saw the giant gingerbread of Sugar Cube Corner and the leafy roof of The Golden Oak Library. From the chic architecture of Carousel Boutique to the practical build of the Ponyville schoolhouse. All this wonder of the small town she lived in, slowly being drawn out in a new light as each portion of the town gradually appeared from underneath the cloud cover, like a canvas being filled with the scenes of the place Rainbow Dash called home. But the thing that drew her attention more than anything else, more than all the semi uniform houses to the rustically designed town hall, was a small cottage, sitting out at the edge of town. As if the moon was highlighting something important, the abode of her oldest friend shone, the shadows created by the moonlight made a scene that was not frightening, but serene and beautiful. The scene at her friend’s home bought a sense of calm to the speedster. It was peaceful, something that she hoped that she could see again, because of the serenity that the image carried with it.
Staring at her friend’s cottage brought forth the ease and simplicity that the weatherpony had been searching for since her rather abrupt departure from the home all those hours ago. As she watched the shadows dance around the small abode, all the pieces slowly fell into place. Her emotions arranging themselves, the conflicts answering the original problem. All the little thoughts that had initially caused the cyan pony turmoil fell to the wayside as her answer became clear.
Rainbow Dash began to fly towards her friend’s home, until a yawn stopped her. Shrugging it off, the prismatic mare continued to fly forward. But the further she flew, the more the weight of the day finally set in. Struggling to keep her eyes open and her body moving, Rainbow decided that her decision could wait until tomorrow, and started to veer towards one o the few portions of cloud left in the sky, her cloud home.
Author's Note
Hey everyone. Sorry this took so long. The big problem was I tried to make this chapter longer then it needed to be. I realize that this is almost disappointingly short after such a long wait, but as I sat down and wrote this, I kept going until I felt that it was enough. Even still there are sections in this that I feel that I could cut out without taking too much away from the story, but there is a reasoning behind this. Every other chapter had more action, or more character development. While this gives us a glimpse at the problem Dash is struggling with, I feel like it also portrays her inner conflict in a way that is similar to those who are not in her head. Rainbow Dash is very self reliant, so spending a chapter trying to give her problems a big show is a bit out of character, especially since its one of those things that she needs to tackle herself. For a while I thought about bringing in an outside character to try and act as a way to help easily defuse the situation, while both creating a longer chapter and more openly projecting the thoughts, but as I wrote it out, it felt wrong. So I went with this. This song has a huge influence from the music I've been listening to, mainly Loyalty by Mandopony and Acoustic Brony, and A Long Way from Equestria by Mandopony. I've been listening to these songs for about a year now, and these combined scenes were created from them. I also realize that the ending is horribly ambiguous, but that is just a personal decision, one that I think will make the next few chapters more interesting.
Anyway, I am horribly sorry about how short the chapter is. The next one should be longer. I hope you enjoy this one anyway. Please feel free to point out any mistakes, as I did not edit about a third of this.
One last quick note, there are only about one or two chapters left, plus an epilogue. I doubt there will be a sequel, but I have enjoyed writing this for you all, because the comments I get just sometimes shake me with how positive and nice they are.
B.L. out
Rainbow Dash was worried. She had been flying home earlier today when she saw Fluttershy running from Sweet Apple Acres. The tears running from her eyes worried her even more. What in Equestria had her worked up? Rainbow Dash realized that she was sometimes hard on the gentle pegasus she had known since foalhood, but never to the point of tears. Sure, they had not seen eye to eye all the time, but Fluttershy always seemed to be there. Whenever the cyan pegasus needed a shoulder to cry on, or somepony to give her the support that she needed, Fluttershy was there. She had never asked the pastel pony to do any of that for her; Fluttershy had done that out of the kindness of her heart. She was all that Dash needed in a pony.
The cyan pegasus watched as her friend ran until she was out of sight. Her curiosity peaked, Rainbow flew down to Sweet Apple Acres to find out what had sent Fluttershy running. As she got closer, she saw Applejack bucking a few apple trees in the fields. Rainbow Dash flew down, figuring that Applejack would know the reason on why the gentle mare had gone running. As she landed, the orange pony greeted her.
"Howdy, Rainbow, what can Ah do for ya?" the earth pony asked. She was smiling, but it didn't quite reach her eyes, like something had just ruined her appetite. Although Rainbow was curious about what aggravated Applejack, she was more worried about Fluttershy. Taking a deep breath, the pegasus spoke.
"Well, I was just flying over the town when I saw Fluttershy running away from the farm. I was just wondering if you had any idea on what would cause her to do that. Did you find a dead animal or something?" Rainbow Dash asked. As she finished, Applejack had dropped the smile. She now had a deadpan expression and was clearly not pleased to have whatever had happened between the two.
"That mare jus' ain't right. She came her talkin' to me bout her likin' me in some romantic manner. Ya know it ain't natural for two mares or stallions to be in a relationship. It’s just wrong," the orange pony stated with that same deadpanned expression. Rainbow Dash's jaw dropped. She could not believe that the pony she had known for years thought that way. Not to mention saying something so cruel to one the sweetest ponies in Ponyvile. Rainbow Dash turned away to quickly compose herself, shaking her head as she tried and get rid of the thoughts that raced through her mind. She quickly turned back to Applejack, staring her down.
“AJ, you’ve got to be kidding me with this! Fluttershy is a sweet pony. Sure, she might like other mares, but there is nothing wrong with that!” Rainbow Dash stated while trying to keep her anger down. Surely the orange earth pony must be joking about this. But Applejack did not look like she was telling a joke, if anything she seemed even more steadfast about it.
“Rainbow, somethin’ is wrong with that mare! It don’t matter what she’s done if she’s gone ‘round trickin’ everypony into trustin’ her, just so she can corrupt our minds!” Applejack said, looking Rainbow Dash straight in the eye, the conviction set on her face. Rainbow Dash’s jaw dropped at this. Fluttershy, innocent, sweet Fluttershy, trying to corrupt anypony was an outlandish idea. Rainbow Dash found the whole idea so crazy that she would of laughed, thinking that it was a prank, if it wasn’t for the look in Applejack’s eyes. It was a look of certainty, one that dare Rainbow Dash to challenge her.
“AJ, seriously? Fluttershy, the pony who hasn’t got an evil bone in her body, trying to corrupt us all? You’ve got to be kidding me about this!” The cyan pegasus stated her total disbelief to the mare in front of her. Applejack just shook her head, tutting, before she looked up at Rainbow Dash with the one emotion that she was not prepared for.
Pity. Rainbow had expected anger, sadness, relief. Anything but pity. This made Rainbow Dash tilt her head to the side, wondering why in Equestria the farm pony was pitying her.
“It seems like that monster has tricked you too. Ah’m not surprised, considerin’ yew and her have known each other for so long. But don’t worry Sugarcube. I took care of that disgusting beast. I told her how wrong she was, how she would be better off dead then destroyin’ the land we live in with her unnatural thoughts. Don’t ya worry Rainbow Dash. Ah’ll set yer head right once again.” Applejack said while looking Rainbow strait in the eye, her arrogance making Rainbow Dash shake with rage. Of all the insensitive things that could be said to Fluttershy, this one topped the cake.
“Applejack, how could you treat your friend like that, after all she’s done for all of us? How could you be so heartless?” Rainbow Dash asked the earth pony, confused and angered by what she had just heard.
“She ain’t our friend Rainbow, she’s a sick monst--” But Rainbow Dash had heard enough. She whipped around and bucked the orange earth pony with all her might, her anger fueled by the words being said about her longest friend. The kick caught Applejack right in the jaw, knocking her onto her haunches, and dazing her for a few moments. She quickly got back onto her hooves and lunged at the cyan pegasus, knocking them both to the ground. They rolled around, throwing jabs at any opportunity to land a hit against the other mare. After a few moments Applejack wound up on the bottom and bucked Rainbow Dash straight into the air, where she hovered for a few moments. After wiping some blood off her face, the orange earth pony spat at the pegasus.
“Ah just don’t understand why in Equestria you’re defending that fillyfooler. She ain’t nothin’ but a sin against the world we live in,” Applejack said between ragged breaths. Rainbow Dash just glared down at the earth pony below her. Rainbow Dash was starting to feel the aches of the tussle already setting in, her back hurting from all the rolling the two mares had done. Deciding it wasn’t worth the time to fight with the orange mare anymore, Rainbow flew to her cloud home, leaving a beaten up and angry earth pony behind, cusses being shouted behind her. When she reached her home, she slowly retreated to her bedroom, collapsing into her bed. She fell asleep quickly, but it was not to last, because a few hours later, she woke up after dreaming about her fight with Applejack, how the two had fought after she had thought that they were some of the best of friends.
Rainbow Dash froze, as she remembered the pegasus that the fight had been about. Suddenly, she took off, deciding to check on Fluttershy. As she flew the more she thought about the gentle pony. If Fluttershy had such a problem with simple statements, Rainbow Dash couldn’t imagine how the pastel pony would react to having her heart broken in such a cruel manner. This worried the cyan pegasus even more, causing her to pick up more and more speed.
She quickly reached the pegasus’ house. As she landed, she looked through Fluttershy’s windows, hoping to see her. Rainbow Dash saw the mare, but she had a rope around her neck. To the cyan mare’s horror, Fluttershy stopped flying, letting her body fall to the ground, the noose applying pressure to the mare’s neck. This caused the weatherpony outside to stop, the pure shock of what her friend was doing rendering her body incapable of moving. Eventually Rainbow Dash realized what exactly was happening, causing her to spring into action.
Rainbow Dash crashed through the door, flying straight for Fluttershy’s now limp body. She grabbed the unconscious mare, taking the noose off as she flew. She began to panic, trying to figure out what she could do to save her friend. She checked her pulse, and found a shallow heart beat, a sign that her friend was still alive, if barely. She gently shook the mare in her hooves, calling Fluttershy’s name with tears in her eyes, but there was no response. Rainbow Dash’s panic rose. She hit Fluttershy on the cheek, seeing if that might shock her awake, but no such luck. On the verge of a mental breakdown, the cyan pegasus picked up Fluttershy’s limp body and left the cottage. She flew to the hospital. As soon as Rainbow reached the hospital, and she flew down to the entrance, crashing through the door, tears in her eyes.
“Please, somepony, help her! PLEASE!” Rainbow Dash shouted, tears streaming down her face, as she looked around the waiting room frantically. She collapsed to the floor, shouting for help. The doctors glared at the pony who had disrupted the peace of the waiting room, until they saw the injured pony on her back. The hospital staff jumped into action, immediately rushing to Fluttershy’s aid, taking her from the cyan pegasus’s care. Once Fluttershy was wheeled away on a gurney, Rainbow Dash broke down on the spot, her body shaking as she cried. Her friend had looked so lifeless as she was raised onto the gurney that it hurt.
Eventually the staff managed to console the panicked pegasus. After a few moments of being calmed, the staff talked to Rainbow Dash, trying to figure out what caused her to bring her friend to the hospital in the first place. When they found out what Rainbow Dash had seen, the staff surprised to discover that a pony that was known for her respect towards all things living, would try and take her own life. After a few hours in the waiting room, a doctor came and told Rainbow Dash that she could see her friend, but that she would not be conscious for some time, as Fluttershy had suffered some damage to her neck from the suicide attempt. Rainbow Dash silently nodded, and followed the doctor to Fluttershy’s room.
As she walked in, she noticed how lifeless the pastel pony looked. In reality, she looked more like a doll than a living pony. Rainbow Dash slowly crossed the room, taking a seat beside the pony in the hospital bed. Her exhaustion slowly took over though, and she fell asleep in the chair by her friend, whispering three words before she fell asleep. “ Why Fluttershy? Why?”
