Friendstuck

by Rubix Cube

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Crossover, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other
Length: 16010

12. That's how many alternate dimension ponies it takes for havoc in Ponyville.

After a new experiment, and Twilight and her friends unintentionally make twelve horned and practically insane ponies enter the calm of Ponyville.

And Celestia they need to get home.

My little Pony belongs to Hasbro
Homestuck Belongs to Andrew Hussie

Published 2013-07-10 23:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2014-07-15 05:51:59 UTC

Trickster

Pinkie Pie hopped in the Everfree forest.

She was on her way to Zecora's so she could invite the zebra to the party she was holding for John, Rose, Dave, and Jade. She was confused when she woke up to Gamzee, Fluttershy, and Lyra unconscious on the ground in the Everfree castle, but she let it go when she saw John and the others. Pinkie hummed a song as she trotted down the path.

Next to the path, something fell out of a tree and into a bush.

Pinkie jumped and and stood in place. She slowly inched to the bush and looked inside.

There laid a green and red spiral lollipop.

"Who would leave a perfectly good lolly in the Everfree Forest!" Pinkie thought out loud. The lollipop seemed irresistible, and Pinkie felt the overwhelming urge to lick it.

"Wait! I can give this to John! He'll love it!" Pinkie ignored the urge, put the lollipop in her saddlebag and hopped back down the path, ignoring why she came to the forest in the first place.

Little did she know she should have left the sweet in the forest.

John soared through the air happily.

He spent some time mastering the Windy Thing, but now he could fly. He glided downwards to the ground, enjoying the wind on his face and back. He needed to find a way to get back into God Tier, but right now he just wanted to fly.

"JOHN! JOOHN!"

John looked down to see Pinkie Pie jumping up and down. He had made friends with her, despite the fact she was crazy when they met. He flew down to the ground, his wings folding up slowly.

"Hey Pinkie! Wazzup?" He said, stretching.

"Look what I found!" Pinkie took the lollipop out of her bag and showed it to John. The stallion looked at the candy with interest. He felt like he knew it from somewhere, and he had an urge to lick it. Pinkie handed him the lollipop.

"Bye! I need to do some stuff!" And with that, she hopped off. John stared at her as she hopped off, then back to the lollipop. Half of him told him not to taste it, but the other half was telling him to do it. It did look good, but his gut was telling him not to lick it.

But one little taste wouldn't hurt, right?

John leaned down and gave a small lick to the top of the candy.

And then he felt a sense of relief.

Like all his problems disappeared.

He began giggling hysterically. He hopped on the ground, his wings flapping at high speeds. He took hold of the candy and stood on his hind legs. He felt amazing as his mane slowly became a bright orange and his cutie mark became a light pink. To top it off, another lollipop appeared in his mane. He felt amazing.

In fact, he felt...

Peachy.

Rainbow Dash napped on a cloud. It had been a short day at work, so she had decided to relax for a bit. There wasn't a problem in town or back at the Weather Factory, so she had thought everything would be quiet.

"DASHIE! DASHIE! HEY! HEY DASHIE!"

"Maybe not.." Rainbow Dash grumbled as she woke up.

"DAAAAAAAAAAASHIE!!!"

Was Pinkie Pie on a sugar rush again? She curled up and tried to ignore whoever was talking.

"DAAAAAAAAAAAAAASHIEEEEEEEEEE!"

"WHAT!" Rainbow Dash yelled, sitting up. She was greeted by a Tan, orange maned pegasus with a dopey look on his face.

"HI DASHIE!" He yelled.

"Who are you...?" Dash asked, creeped out by how he knew her nickname.

"I'M JOHN! DON'CHA KNOW?" He said giddily.

"But why are you so...?" Rainbow dash circled her hoof around to show what she meant.

"PEACHY!" John yelled. "DASHIE! GUESS WHAT!"

Rainbow dash simply stared.

"I THINK YOU'RE AWESOME! I WANNA GO ON AN ADVENTURE WITH YA~! I WAS SO SCARED TO SAY IT, BUT NOW I'M NOT! YAAAAY!"

Rainbow Dash forced a smile and chuckled. "Thanks kid...?"

John's smile somehow got bigger and he neared Dash. The Female Pegasus trotted back slowly until they where at the edge. John giggled before turning around and bucking her in the chest.

Rainbow Dash was about to yell at him, but was suddenly overtaken by a feeling of happiness. All anger and her problems were washed away as she began to giggle, and then laugh along with John. Her cyan coat brightened into pink, her wings became fluffy, and her cutie mark became a brighter shade. A pack of the human candy Skittles appeared in her mane.

"WE REALLY SHOULD GO ON AN ADVENTURE, JOHN!" She happily said. John and Rainbow Dash laughed hysterically.

"WAIT, BUT WE NEED EVERYONE ELSE!" John yelled. He grabbed Rainbow Dash's hoof before they flew off.

"That was Delicious, Pinkie Pie." Rarity said, wiping her mouth with a cloth. Both her and Applejack had been invited to taste-test a cake Pinkie had been making for John and the others.

"Eeyup." AJ said.

"Yay! I really hope John, Dave, Jade, and Rose like it! I want their party to be FUN!" Pinkie hopped up and down, before the door to Sugar Cube Corner was shot open and 2 giggling Pegasi flew in.

"My Word, Rainbow Dash, is that you?" Rarity asked, noticing one of the Pegasi's cutie mark. Rainbow Dash smiled.

"YEAH! IT'S ME! WITH MY BESTEST FRIEND JOHN!" She squealed, throwing her hoof around John.

"OH DASHIE, I'M NOT YOUR BESTEST FRIEND!"

"YEAH YOU ARE~!"

"NO I'M NOT~!"

This erupted in the two Pegasi saying those two things over and over as Applejack, Rarity, and Pinkie looked on.

"Why do they look so different?" Applejack asked.

"I do not know, Darling, but their fashion is atrocious!"

The happy Pegasi turned to the 3. Rainbow Dash giggled and got up close to Rarity, the unicorn mare smiling awkwardly.

"RARITY! HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT!?" Rainbow Dash yelled.

"Err, what, Darling?"

"I'VE ALWAYS LIKED YOUR DRESSES! BUT I HAD SO MUCH PRIDE IN ME THAT I COULDN'T TELL YOU BUT NOW I CAN!" Rainbow Dash hopped around before raising her hooves, about to bring them down onto Rarity.

"Rainbow, what in hay happened to you--" Applejack ran in front of Rarity, suddenly taking the blow. She fell on the floor before giggling along with Dash and John. Her hair and coat became lighter, her ponytail split into pigtails, and a Caramel apple appeared in her mane.

"AWW, I MISSED HER." Rainbow dash said. Applejack put her hoof on her shoulder.

"BUT'CHA GOT ME!" Applejack's southern accent was replaced by an extremely high pitched voice.

"OH YEAH!" The 3 ponies jumped around before running out of the sweets store, Rarity and Pinkie dumbstruck.

"I can't believe it!" Pinkie said.

"I know, Darling. That event was so--"

"Their group is so much fun!" Pinkie giggled.

Gamzee, who was unnoticed by anypony, stared at the door before running into the kitchen.

"Not again not again Not motherfucking again..." He said, grabbing a pie and trying to run outside, before being stopped by Twilight.

"Can someone tell me why John, Rainbow Dash and Applejack are running outside yelling 'Peachy?'" She asked. Gamzee put his pie down and groaned.

"Trickster Mode."

"What?"

"They get all motherfucking happy and ignore every problem they have. Scary as shit." Gamzee cringed as another burst of laughter came from outside.

"Well, they just got Eridan!" Pinkie said, looking out the window to see the indigo pony with a gumdrop in his light purple mane.

"How do we make them stop?" Twilight asked, concerned.

"They have to burn out the juju."

"So we have to capture them?"

Gamzee nodded, but didn't move anymore.

Twilight's horn began to glow.

"C'mon, girls. It's gonna be a long day."

Rainbow Dash, John, Applejack, Eridan, and Rose ran through town happily.

"AWW, WHERE IS EVERYONE?" Rose asked.

"MAYBE THEY'RE PLAYING HIDE AND SEEK!" John squealed. The 4 other ponies giggled and began running through the streets, eventually getting to Sweet Apple Acres.

"WHERE ARE YOU, BIG MAC!" Applejack yelled. The 5 hopped to the barn, and looked toward the apple cellar. In front of it was Big Mac, oblivious to what was happening.

Applejack ran forward with her other Tricksters before leaping to tackle her brother. Big Mac, however, swerved out of the way and let the five ponies crash land into the cellar. Twilight jumped out from behind a tree and locked the door tight.

Now they had to wait.

"Ugggghhh...."

John, Rainbow Dash, Applejack and Rose were lying down at Twilight's house, waking up feeling like they were having a hangover.

"What happened...?" Rainbow Dash groaned. John turned is head to look at the table. On it was the green and red lollipop. Remembering what it did, he groaned heavily before putting his hooves on his eyes.

"Don't worry, this is getting locked up where it belongs." Twilight walked into the room and put the cursed sweet into a metal box.

"Not feeling so... Peachy?" Rarity asked, trying to stifle a laugh.

"Now don't try and trick us, we know!" Pinkie said.

"Shut uuuuuup...." Rose said, rolling over.

"I am never going to enjoy caramel apples knowing what ah did..." Applejack said, shivering.

"Where's Eridan..?"

"Sollux took him home." Twilight said. "Now I think it's a good idea to go to Sugar Cube Corner and try to calm Gamzee down."

City of Gold and Purple

Rarity turned off the sewing machine. Another fine dress to wear at some point. Activating her horn and placing the apparel on a mannequin, her hooves gently clopped the ground as she walked to the sleeping Kanaya and Feferi. They had passed out a few hours ago; Rarity didn't blame them, it was getting late. Placing a blanket on the two, she yawned before ascending the stairs and climbing into bed herself.

Her eyes flickered open. She rubbed her eyes softly and stood up. A round room of a blue color with a single bed was all she saw, nothing else. Looking down on herself, she saw a bright yellow dress with a moon symbol embroidered on the chest. Seeing a large window and approaching, she gasped at what she saw.

A golden city lie before her, with 10 towers in a line next to hers. Intrigued, she leaned forward, an urge to jump out growing inside her. Before she could react, her hoof slipped off the sill of the window, causing her to lose her balance and fall out. Gasping, she screamed before curling up in a ball and waiting for the inevitable.

It never came.

Popping open one eye, she realized she was flying weightlessly. Her assumed room was a few meters above her. Rarity kicked her hooves, causing her to move forward a few feet. This felt odd, yet mystical somehow. She looked up, to be met with a beautiful, blue moon, surrounded by clouds and a Spirograph lining the edges. A checkerboard pattern was transparent along it.

She just wanted to stare at it, not even noticing her eyes beginning to burn...

She was tackled in the side.

Upon being let go, she stood up to be met with a familiar face.

"Kanaya?"

"Yeah, It's me. Never look up at Skaia. You'll go blind."

"Skaia? Kanaya, Where am I?"

"You're in Prospit. You're asleep. This is just a dream self."

"...What?"

She sighed. "Sit down, I'll explain. When you sleep in the real world, you wake up in either Prospit or Derse. Just imagine this place except it's Purple EVERYWHERE. Those towers have our friends inside. They are all unawoken, but they will be. The only way to wake up a Dream Self is to suffer an unpleasant event. The only exception is a Space player, like me."

"Player?"

Kanaya just stared at her for a few minutes.

"Rarity, have we ever explained Sburb to you?"

Pinkie Pie bounced around in midair.

She didn't care about how she woke up with a purple dress on in a pink room, but flying was super cool, she didn't want to waste time! She bounced around on the bridges, before noticing the sound of hooves clopping. Upon investigating, she saw Aradia walking around the city alone.

"Aradia!"

The pony jerked her head up and stared at her. Pinkie waved.

"What'cha doing?"

Aradia just sat down.

"Nothing."

"Aw, c'mon, This place is sooooo Cool! Let's go!"

"NO, Pinkie."

"Why? Don't be such a grump!"

"I have all the rights to be."

Pinkie scoffed.

"Look Pinkemena Diane Pie, I do NOT want to fraternize with your games. I suppose no one has told you what happened before we became hoofbeasts."

"Nope!"

"Fine, sit down. Once opon a time there was a Thief, a Page, a Maid, and a Seer. They were all 'friends'. Such best friends in fact, that the Thief killed the Maid, Paralyzed the Page, and Blinded the seer. The end." She slumped and stared forward.

"What does that have to do with your past!'

The ram-horned equine face-hoofed.

The next day

"Hey Rainbow Daaaaaaaash!"

The pegasus poked her head from above the cloud.

"Oh, Vriska! Hey, what's up."

"I was wondering... Would you like to play a game?"

Rainbow Dash was already gliding down to the ground. "What kind of game?"

"Oh, Role-Playing!"

"What? Isn't 'Role-Playing' that kind of game eggheads play?"

"Nonoono, this one is full of action. What kind of friend are you if you won't play with another friend?"

"Action, eh? Alright, I'll bite. What's it called?"

"Nothing special...It's called 'FLARP.'"

Author's Note

I AM BACK! I have more chapters to be working on, DON'T WORRY

Vris-Bitch

"I wonder if Rarity will notice the jewels missing from her emporium..." Vriska wondered aloud.

"What?" Rainbow Dash asked, stretching out her wings.

"Noooooooothing!" She responded gleefully. The two equines trotted along the path idly, birds chirping overhead.

"Soo, Vriska. How does this Florp thing work?"

"Flarp. It's pronounced Flarp. Think Live Action Role Playing in a much more dangerous situation!"

"Dangerous? How much more dangerous?"

"Think...Everfree forest dangerous. Speaking of, that's our setting!" She turned her attention to the dark woods. "Now, laying out the rules-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Everfree Forest? Look, I'm extreme, just not taking it to THAT extreme."

Vriska sneered. "What are ya, chicken?"

The cyan pegasus rushed forward and into her face. "Excuse me? I am NOT chicken. I'll take your game on!"

"Alright then! Here's the rules." She paused. "No rules! Collect the gems at the end of the forest and you keep em!" The earth pony cackled, before dashing into the dark. Rainbow stared in where she used to be for a few seconds.

"HEY!" She shouted, jumping into the air and chasing her.

A few yards ahead, Vriska jumped over roots quickly, ducking under branches as she galloped. She felt alive. Ironic, how she had died just a few years ago.

"CAN'T CATCH UP, RAINBOW CRASH!?" She yelled behind her. The minute she looked back in front, she was spun around as RD zipped forward, barely a blur. Well, she's huffy. Vriska continued running.

A roar went off farther down the path.

Jerking her head up, she skid to a stop, her ears going up.

"The hell?" She muttered. She shook her head and continued down her way.

Rainbow Dash zigzagged around the trees, her wings beating quickly.

"Calling me Rainbow Crash, who does she think she is?" She mumbled. She slowed to a stop, getting on her hooves and resuming a steady gallop.

The roar echoed.

She turned around, wings erect.

"Manticore." She whispered, before jumping up again and flying straight back.

"VRISKA! YOU ALRIGHT!" She yelled. The pegasus was about to yell again, before she felt dizzy and spiraled into the ground. Her body went numb, and everything went black.

Vriska tried to keep herself as concentrated as possible as she ran from the beast. She had her mind control, that's good, and now she was controlling RD. Perfect. As the manticore behind her roared again, she ran to Rainbow Dash's unconscious body and slid behind her. Placing her hooves on her head, she closed her eyes and focused.

Rainbow Dash stood.

Yes! She thought, gritting her teeth.

In control of the pegasus, she slowly made Rainbow fly the other way. Gotta, do this, right. Rainbow Dash got a set distance away, before Vriska jerked her head back and caused the cyan pegasus to fly straight forward, hoof first into the Manticore's skull. The earth pony sighed, releasing her control and plopping onto the ground.

Rainbow Dash opened her eyes, blinking a few times.

"Vriska, what happen-" A zap of pain went through her front hooves and she fell to the ground. "OH MY CELEESTIA, THIS HURTS." She said through clenched teeth. Vriska trotted over to her.

"Calm down, ya pansy." She leaned down and hoisted RD onto her back. "Let's go home."

"You didn't." Tavros asked.

"I did." Vriska responded.

"WHY?"

She shrugged. "I got bored. Pupa, we're ALIVE. I'm spending my time alive with gusto."

"YOU BROKE RAINBOW DASH'S HOOF!" He yelled, pointing the pegasus as her hoof was wrapped with gauze by Twilight. Said unicorn shot Vriska a glare.

"Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine. Soooooooorry." She said.

"Goddamn it Vriska, This was exactly the reason you died! You bullied me in Flarp, causing me to get paralyzed, then Terezi went blind, Then Aradia DIED, then she was a robot, then she beat you up and I tried standing up to you and I died and then Terezi killed you IT'S ALL A BIG CHAIN REACTION!"

"Ah ah ah, Pupa. You forgot that it also made me go GOD TIER." She sneered. At that moment, the door opened quietly and Equius and Nepeta walked in.

"We heard the mews!" The blue capped pony said. Equius trotted forward, sitting by Twilight and looking at Rainbow's Hoof.

"With the right amount of materials, I could make a suitable brace to enable her to walk without damaging the bone any further."

"Thank you, Equius. We need to keep more eyes on Vriska. She could seriously hurt somepony."

"Oh you have no idea." Tavros muttered.

At Sweet Apple Acres, Aradia's ears perked up at the Horizon.

"Ms Aradia? Is somethin' wrong?" Applebloom asked. The crimson pony stared at the landscape for a few more seconds before turning to the filly.

"No. Everything's alright. Let's get back to your grandmother." The two ponies trotted away.

If Aradia had looked at the horizon for a few more seconds, she could see a visible greenish light tinting the sky. Deep in the heart of Everfree, a large green building had appeared, and inside, a completely pale, tall stallion trotted on a green tiled floor in front of 15 individuals. His wings flared and his horn glowing a radiant green energy, he stopped.

"Now. The Condense will be here soon. To recap, we have simply... moved Lord English's opposers to this universe. We will have to eradicate them before they find a way back to the Medium. Any questions."

A small voice piped up. "Yeah, uh, Doc? Why are we horses?"

"A side effect. No doubt it has happened to The Midnight Crew and the ones Post Scratch as well. We do not have much time, as this planet's first guardian will soon find me."

"We attack at noon."

Strife!!!

"Are you...sure that Twilight needs a large sickle for an experiment?" Daisy put Karkat's list on the counter.

"Yep. Just give me the damn tool." His eyes shifted around cautiously. Twilight told him to run some errands, and he took this time to collect a makeshift weapon.

"Well...Alright." The flower pony turned around and went to collect the gardening tool. Karkat leaned on the counter, staring out the shop window. "Here you are." Daisy returned with a large metal sickle. "That would be 10 bits." The pegasus reached into his saddlebag and threw the coins on the table, clasping the tool in his teeth and running.

He couldn't believe this fucking worked.

Karkat shoved the sickle into his saddlebag and resumed a steady trot. Act natural. Act natural. Act natural-

"Mister Karkat!"

Said pony snapped his head back to see a purple-maned filly.

"Hi!" Scootaloo said.

"What the hell do you want, kid."

"Just wondering what you were doing. What's in the bag?"

"Nothing." Karkat muttered, rolling his eyes. In the corner of his vision, a green blur went by. "The Fuck..."

"What is it?" The filly tilted her head.

"Nevermind. Go hom-HOLY SHIT!" Karkat grabbed Scootaloo and dropped to the ground as a green blast of magic zipped by overhead.

Twilight was flipping through her books when the door flew open and slammed shut. She turned away to see a long haired pony with a black and Fuchsia design panting.

"Feferi? What's the matter?" Twilight organized and reshelved her books quickly, walking over to the gilled equine.

"Green... Green... Pony- EEP!" Feferi dropped down as a blast of lime green magic shot through the window.

"Dammit, Trace! Where are they!" Someone shouted from outside.

"I DON'T FUCKING KNOW!"

Twilight gaped at her now shattered window, before running out the door. Her galloping was halted as she rammed into a large, burly stallion, a bowl-like hat adorned on his head marked "15."

"Excuse me, sir, I have a few matters to attend to with the ruffians who broke my-" Twilight was cut off as another green pony dropped down from her tree and pointed a large, metal cylinder with holes around the rim of the front at her.

"QUARTERS! NOW!"

The cylinder holding pony held his hoof up, only to be rammed into and knocked onto his side by a certain pegasus.

"Twilight!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed. "Who ARE these guys!?"

"I don't know! They just started coming to my house-"

"GET DOWN!"

Karkat jumped on Twilight, bringing her to the ground.

"DAMMIT!" Another voice shouted from afar.

Twilight struggled out of the horned pony's grip, standing up stiff and alert.

"Karkat, what in EQUESTRIA is going on here!?"

"I don't know, English's lackeys, probably!?"

"Who the heck is English-"

"NO TIME!" Karkat reached into his saddlebag, pulling out the sickle he bought earlier. The other trolls accumulated by the house over time, makeshift weapons aready.

"...WHY DO YOU HAVE WEAPONS-"

"I'm from a planet where killing is normal, SHUT UP!" Karkat pushed Twilight away, leading the 11 zodiac trolls outside.

"Team Adorabloodthirsty... MOVE OUT!"

Aradia hadn't used a weapon in a long time. Tying a rope to a broken pole wasn't THAT efficient, but it would work.

The ram horned pony leaped upon the strangers, tying the rope into a lasso and strangling the one marked as "10." As she jerked the pole back to cut off his oxygen, the town flashed around her. Everyone bloody. Everyone Dead. Ponyville gone. Timeline after timeline. With a grunt and strong willpower, she choked the pony until he stopped struggling, lying dead.

The crimson blooded pony continued running, dragging the body around behind her. She didn't even have her Maid of Time powers for some reason, having had lost them at ponification. Growling, she dropped the "whip" and continued running, past Tavros, past Sollux.

"Guys! Where's Twilight!?"

Sollux grunted, red and blue eyes sparking wildly as the light surrounding them grew larger. Tavros screeched and ran forward, ducking. At the drop of a feather, two red and blue blasts of light ricocheted from the yellowblood, ripping two holes in the ground and disintegrating three attackers where they stood.

"Keep doin' whatcha doing, Sollux!" Aradia cheered, Skidding and heading westward.

Twilight ran through the chaos, teeth grit as she looked for Karkat. What in CELESTIA'S sake was happening. She was stopped as she rammed into a slim, yellow hatted pony, smirking as he vanished into thin air.

The unicorn felt punches and kicks around her body, seeing glimpses of yellow and green. Twilight yelled loudly as she fired a blast of magic, to succeed in hitting her attacked square in the jaw, sending him skidding away.

"Changelings?" She thought aloud, "No, they can't go THAT fast! Who are these ponie-" She was cut off by the sound of a flipping coin. Looking down, she saw a purple-hatted colt with what looked like a quarter in his mouth. "Oh no. Uh, little boy? Get home this isn't safe right now-"

Twilight was then tripped and stood upon.

The green colt snickered. "Lucky, Ain't it?"

With a battle cry, Applejack appeared from the left and yanked Twilight to her feet. The orange pony's hat was lopsided, an angry look in her eyes.

"TWI! What in HAY'S goin' on!?" She shouted.

"Listen, Applejack. I don't know who these ponies are, but the trolls seem to. For SOME reason." Twilight regained her balance, sighing. With the sound of approaching galloping, they turned their heads to an approaching Aradia.

"Twilight! I need your help. Do you know ANY time spells?"

"Time spells? Well, no, only REALLY advanced unicorns can use those, so-"

Aradia groaned, putting a hoof on her face.

And the only sound was fighting, until...

"APPLEJAAAACK!"

The ears of the applebucker perked up, her pupil's shrinking as she ran away.

"APPLEBLOOM!"

With the skidding of hooves on asphalt, the three stopped in the middle of town.

By the fountain, was a red tricorn-hatted Pegasus, the earth pony filly behind held by the scruff of her neck in his mouth.

"Don't come any closer!"

Applejack froze in her tracks, tensing up.

"One more step, the kid gets a knife to the face!"

Aradia seethed quietly, Twilight weighing options.

"Applejack! Help! Let go of me!" Applebloom struggled harshly, brow furrowed and hooves trying to it her captor.

"Hand over the trolls, we let her go. What'll it be?"

Applejack growled loudly. Aradia sensed... something. And the distant sound of tick, tick, tick...

"You..."

What was it?

"Let..."

It was so familiar....

"Her..."

Then it hit her.

"GO!!!"

Everything

Froze.

Planet Equestria

"Twi, are you sure Pinkie won't get hurt in this?" Applejack asked, investigating the large machine in front of her. The metal curved into a giant ring connected to a telegraph and projector.

"Of course she won't, Applejack. It just sends a shock through her system and into her brain, so we can see her memories and how she can do all those...feats." Twilight said, not taking her eyes off of Pinkie attached to the ring by her hooves and happily humming "Smile, Smile, Smile."

"Don't worry AJ! I trust Twilight, and I love helping my friends!" Pinkie said, the last bit sing-song. Rainbow Dash flew up and inspected the metal ring, earning a smile from the pink Earth pony.

"Sooo.... How long have you been working on this?" Dash asked, flying over to inspect the monitor, knocking it with her hoof.

"About a few months! Believe me, all of that time will be worth it when we finally find what allows Pinkie to see 'beyond the wall'."
Seeing that Rarity and Fluttershy were confused, she sighed. "That's just a metaphor I made. Don't mind it." She flipped a few switches and put on a pair of goggles. "Alright. Ready Pinkie?"

"Okey Dokey Lokey!"

Twilight smiled and pushed a few buttons, causing the machine to let out a pale light. Rainbow Dash flew down and stared at the monitor, along with her friends. A small crackle of electricity flew down onto Pinkie's mane, causing her to giggle. She continued humming "Smile" as the monitor began to flicker to life. It slowly brightened, showing a crib.

"It worked!" Twilight cheered. Two ponies ducked their heads in the crib, their flat hair being prodded at by two pink hooves. They both giggled and shook a few toys in front of the pony, causing more laughter. "This must be when she was a newborn filly." Twilight pushed a button and the monitor flickered to a pile of rocks. Twilight grumbled and went forward once again. This went on for a few hours, the entire group staring at various memories, along with Pinkie adding commentary. After a while, 99% of her memories had been looked over. Twilight smiled at the last 1%, eagerly lighting her horn.

"Well guys, today's the day! Today, Pinkamena Diane Pie's secrets will be revealed!" She cheered, the monitor glowing bright. Twilight's smile got bigger as it dimmed, revealing the final memory. It showed the 5 ponies staring at a monitor, showing the same 5 ponies staring at a monitor. Twilight's eyelid twitched.

"Wow, Twilight! It's what's going on right now! You all are staring at yourselves, staring at themselves! It's like that Con-Mane movie Inception!" Pinkie laughed, trying to imitate the sound. Twilight stared at Pinkie, and then the machine. Her horn began glowing and her memories began flicking in over and over.

"Twilight, what are you doing?" Rarity asked.

"This isn't scientifically possible! We should have saw what happens!" The memories flicking even faster, smoke piping out of the machine.

"Twilight...?" Rainbow Dash said, noticing the smoke.

"No, no, no, no." Twilight said, still looking over the memories. The monitor began flicking white, the smoke nearly filling the room. It began shaking and Pinkie was released. A gurgling sound came from the machine, small amounts of light coming out of cracks. "EVERYPONY DOWN!" Twilight yelled, she and her friends ducking into various places, shielding themselves from a large flash of light, rattling the entire household.Twilight poked her head from under a table and stared at the metal pile where her machine used to be. "Pinkie!" She ran to the wall and pulled the pink pony out. "Sorry about that. Celestia, this went wrong. Are you hurt?"

"Hurt? That was FUN Twilight! Like being shot out of a cannon!" She hopped around as normal, Twilight sighing in relief.

"Sorry, guys. I got to engrossed in this and sort of lost it." Twilight said, staring at the ground.

"I-it's okay Twilight...Nopony got hurt, right?" Fluttershy asked.

"Course not, Sugarcube. Everything is fine. But it sure is late." Applejack replied, poking her head out from the stairs. Twilight sighed once again.

"We should all go home. I'll clean this up in the morning. We're all tired from this, we all deserve some rest." She lead her friends upstairs and bid them goodnight. Trotting up the stairs, she stopped and rubbed a shivering part of her neck. Disregarding this, she walked up to bed, trying not to wake up Spike. Yet she still felt this failed experiment had more consequences then she thought.

Twilight and Spike trotted into town, tired after cleaning up the mess. Twilight had offered eating at Sugar Cube Corner with Spike and he had almost immediately accepted. However, the streets were empty and stores were closed, Twilight walking among shuttered houses.

"Twilight, are you feeling some déjà vu right now? Spike asked.

"Yeah. This is weird. Everypony was like this when we first met Zecora. What could have made this happen again?" Twilight responded, looking around, even for inside types like Berry Punch or Vinyl. Seeing no one, she continued down the path until she got towards town square. In the distance, what looked like 12 ponies arguing was in the middle, screaming at each other so loud she cold hear them even before she got to the square. Twilight stopped and stared in relief and confusion for only twelve ponies to be outside, yet before she could walk over and ask she was tackled and dragged inside Sugar Cube corner.

"Got her!" Rainbow Dash said to Applejack, releasing her hoof from Twilight's mouth.

"What in Celestia was that for!?" She said, glaring at Dash, who put her hooves up innocently.

"You didn't see the barbarians out there!?" Rarity said, pointing to the window, where the 12 ponies could be seen. Sweetie Belle walked into the room, followed by the other crusaders. Rarity rubbed the filly's head and brought Twilight to the window, giving her a clear view.

A stallion with jagged teeth and small horns was perched on top of unicorn with sunglasses and a single horn. A mare with curled horns stared with boredom at the two bickering ponies, next to two other mares, with smaller horns then the others, one eagerly swatting at a butterfly. A smaller mare with red glasses seemed to be licking everything. Two ponies, one with crooked and one with absurdly large horns, watched worriedly, yet the one with crooked horns and odd marks on his muzzle seemed to be staring out into space. A mare and a stallion were facefirst in the town fountain. 4 were Unicorns, 4 were Pegasi, and 4 were Earth Ponies. All of them were grey, had black manes, and two horns on the side of their heads.

"...That's them...?" Twilight asked, finding them relatively harmless for what they were doing.

"When we all walked into town, they were attacking each other, Twi! That one in the middle yells. A lot." Applejack replied, getting into Twilight's face. Twilight calmly pushed AJ away.

"I think they're just confused.and lost. if we just go outside and ask them what they need they'll just leave and everything will be normal. And don't say that, you could scare the crusaders."

"The crusaders?" Pinkie Pie asked. "They just left, Silly Filly!"

"WHAT?" The rest of the 5 said, making pink pony point outside, only to see the three crusaders walking slowly to the fighting strangers. Rarity rushed to the door, only to find it stuck due to a plank outside put by the three foals. Applebloom stared at Scootaloo outside, still thinking about how this idea worked.

"Are you sure about this, Scootaloo?" Sweetie Belle asked, walking close to the confident Pegasus. She laughed and turned to the other foals.

"Of course it will! We're brave! We'll get these ponies out of town and show that we're more then just blank flanks!" She triumphantly walked forward. Sweetie Belle and Applebloom exchanged looks, yet followed their friend.

"...Yet you know this is YOUR FUCKING FAULT!" One of the stallions yelled, pointing to another one with red and blue glasses.

"Yeah right, KK. I didn't even TOUCH any Mind Honey!" He yelled back, the crusaders noticing he had a lisp. "KK" growled at him.

"Hi, Misters!" Applebloom said cheerfully, the crusaders following her into the fight.

"FUCK OFF, KID." "KK" Said loudly, jumping in front of them and growling. The crusaders eeped and inched back. Scootaloo, however, went forward.

"Don't talk to my friends like that!" She yelled, getting into his face. Getting closer showed he was one of the Pegasi.

"Why you little-" The stallion raised his hoof, revealing a large sickle. Scootaloo gasped as he brought it down.

"SCOOTS!" Rainbow Dash flew out of the store window and scooped her up just as the farm tool was embedded in the ground. The stallion swore and tried to pull it out, yet was tackled to the ground by the enraged, cyan Pegasus. "What did SHE do to you!?" She screamed.

"She bugged me." He yelled back. Rainbow Dash, obviously not taking this as an excuse, raised her hoof and connected it with a blow to his chin. Applejack managed to buck the door down and ran forward, growling at the 11 other ponies.

"Y'all friend's crazy!"

"We already know that, lady...." The mare with red glasses replied. Applejack was taken back with the fact she agreed.

Rainbow Dash and the stallion were still fighting when Twilight rushed to the group, using her magic to hold them down. "What in Celestia's name were you doing!?" She screeched in the Royal Canterlot Tone.

"Fuck you." The stallion said, trying to reach for his sickle. Rarity levitated it and threw it away, shivering thinking of what would happen if Rainbow didn't save Scootaloo.

"STATE YOUR NAMES."

"Terezi." The mare with red glasses replied.

The two ponies in the fountain lifted their heads. "Feferi and Eridan." They were a Unicorn and Pegasus, respectively.

The three mares stared at Twilight. "Aradia, Vriska, Nepeta." They were Unicorn and Earth. A Unicorn walked to Nepeta. "Equius."

The Pegasus with red and blue glasses said "Sollux." A Unicorn mare next to him "Kanaya."

The two stallions that were watching were Earth ponies named "Gamzee" and "Tavros."

In the end, the six ponies stared at the one who attacked Scootaloo. He growled, but Twilight forced him to speak. "...Karkat."

Twilight glared at them all. "Spike, Take a letter."

Dear Princess Celestia,

Twelve ponies have arrived in Ponyville, and their hostility is not welcome. One of them has attacked Scootaloo and Rainbow Dash, and his group has agreed he is mentally deficient. I wish for you to come to Ponyville and decide what to do with them.

Your student, Twilight Sparkle.

Spike sent the letter, and Twilight walked over to Karkat. "Do you wish to say anything?" She growled.

Karkat just stared at her with bored eyes. "I think this is the beginning of a wonderful kismesis."

Author's Note

This was in my head for awhile.

A Toast with Twelve

A few seconds after the letter was sent, Spike belched and a scroll appeared at Twilight's feet.

Twilight Sparkle,

Thank you for reporting these ponies. I will be arriving shortly, but for now, I recommend that you give them shelter until my arrival. Do not let them hurt any more ponies and keep an eye out for the one who attacked Rainbow Dash.

Your Mentor, Celestia

Twilight pocketed the letter and growled at Karkat once again. Twilight's horn glowed again and she levitated the 12 ponies, turning to her friends.

"Princess Celestia-"

"Celestia? What the hell is with the names here?" Sollux asked, not seeming to mind being in midair. Twilight glared at him, then once again turned to her friends.

"Princess Celestia says that she will be here soon. We should take them to the library and make sure none of them hurt anypony else." She stared at Karkat the last few words, causing him to roll his eyes. The six trotted to the treehouse and led everyone inside. Nepeta seemed to be interested in everything, but mostly Owlowiscious. She ended up chasing the bird around, spilling over a pitcher of water. "Spike, Mind cleaning that up?" Spike nodded and ran into the kitchen.

"Now, for some ground rules. My house cannot be harmed in any way, shape, or form--"

"Oh, Dear LORD!"

Twilight turned around to see Gamzee, Tavros, and Kanaya staring at the pail and mop spike had bring into the room to clean the water. They were all blushing immensely and looking at Spike in disgust as he cleaned the floor.

"What are you DOING!" Kanaya yelled.

"...Cleaning the floor. What do you think?" Spike wet the mop, causing Equius to gag. Spike stared at everyone as he took the bucket out. The still-blushing ponies didn't even touch the floor Spike's mop touched. Twilight was both confused and relieved as this made Karkat shut up, yet his face was red.

"I say, what is wrong with them?" Rarity said, glancing at the shocked and embarrassed expressions with confusion. Eridan seemed to be shedding a few tears. Twilight just stared at everyone, before getting a wet cloth and wiping the place Spike cleaned. The twelve sighed in relief and began acting normal again, or their version of normal.

"Like I was saying, my house cannot be affected by anyth-"

She was again cut off by Terezi licking the side of her face.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" She yelled at the mare with red glasses.

"Wow, you look weird." She replied, acting if this was normal. Twilight was about to shout a bit more before Karkat cut in.

"She's fucking blind." He said, glaring at Twilight. "She sees. Through saliva."

Twilight was dumbfounded by this "logic". Half of her found this blasphemy, yet the other half believed him and wanted to study it. Twilight was about to say something to the stallion when a knocking came from the door. Twilight rushed over and opened it, letting in two Royal Guards, followed by the sun goddess herself, yet Luna was behind her. The six Elements of Harmony bowed, and Karkat again rolled his eyes.

"My faithful student." Celestia said, nodding to Twilight. She turned to the 12 horned ponies, inspecting them. "Were these the ones you were speaking about?" Twilight nodded, using her magic to hold down Karkat, causing him to swear loudly. Celestia showed surprise for a split second. "Everypony, sit down." The six sat down, Twilight's glare making the other 12 reluctantly sit down as well.

"My Name is Princess Celesta, the ruler of Equestia. This is my sister, Princess Luna. Please state your names." The 12 introduced themselves as the Royal Guards brought in a table and cups of tea.

"My student has told me of what has happened in town. I wish to know--"

"Yo, this isn't motherfuckin' Faygo." Gamzee said, pouring the cup's contents on the ground. Celestia stared at him before continuing.

"I wish to know what made you attack a foal and an innocent Pegasus. That kind of act is not tolerated in my lands, so I suspect you are from somewhere else. If so, where?" The white alicorn said, taking a sip of tea.

"Fucking Alternia. Where else." Karkat said, pouring out his cup as well. The eight ponies stared at him. "...What?"

"My night skies hold many other planets, yet none called 'Alternia' exists." Princess Luna responded.

"Really? A dark planet, full of trolls?" Tavros asked.

"Trolls?" The eight ponies asked, surprised.

"Yyyep." Vriska said, stirring her cup.

Celestia and Luna exchanged glances, muttered a few things, and turned back.

"We have no records of your race. We are not sure where you came from or what you are, but we know that your race is not in our universe." Luna said calmly. The twelve ponies were quiet. "However, we believe we know how you have got here. Yesterday, my sister's student, your friend Twilight-" Karkat scoffed. "-has told me a failed experiment had made her think an omen had befallen. We believe that had foreshadowed your arrival." The twelve horned ponies just kept quiet.

"Until my student finds a way to return you to your homes," Celestia said."We have decided that you must all become part of the society until further notice."

Twilight gaped. "But Princess-"

"Twilight, I know this is right. Please give them a chance."

Twilight sighed and smiled at her mentor. "Yes, Princess." Celestia and Luna smiled. Their guards following, they walked out of the library and set off back to Canterlot. Twilight closed the door and turned to the 12, unmoving ponies. Twilight walked to the table and sat down again. "I am sorry if you had any family. But what the Princess says, goes-"

"And why should we give these guys a Chance!?" Rainbow dash yelled, pointing to Karkat. "He tried to Kill Scoots just because 'She Bothered him'!" She yelled.

"Well, Excuse me!" Karkat yelled, throwing his empty cup at the wall.

"Why you little-" Rainbow Dash drew her hoof back.

"STOP!" Twilight yelled. "Like the Princess said, they must become members of society. They are trusting us with making sure no harm comes with these ponies until we can get them home. The decision is final, and we must go with what they say." Twilight stared at the bickering Pegasi until they settled down. "Now two of them will be living with us." Twilight got out a graph and began telling who wold be living with whom.

Sollux and Eridan would live with Rainbow Dash.

Nepeta and Equius would live with Fluttershy.

Gamzee and Tavros would stay with Pinkie.

Aradia and Vriska would stay with Applejack.

Kanaya and Feferi would stay with Rarity.

Twilight stared at the graph as she realized she would be living with Terezi and Karkat, the two that seemed to annoy her for what she's worth. Karkat groaned loudly and put his face on the table. He and Rainbow Dash glared at each other one more time before she flew off, her two new roommates following. Pinkie gasped loudly, catching the attention of everyone.

"Wait, if they're new in town," She gave a large smile and grabbed Gamzee and Tavros by the necks. "They need a PARTY!" Before anyone could respond, she threw the two on her back and rushed out the door. Twilight chuckled and said goodbye to her other friends before staring at Karkat and Terezi. Her horn glowed as she stared at the stallion.

"I don't like you, and you don't like me. But I swear, if you do anything to disobey the Princesses..." She snarled. Karkat just sneered.

"If you want to know something, my kind uses buckets to reproduce."

Twilight blinked before blushing. Karkat cackled, grabbed Terezi, and went upstairs.

Twilight immediately regret bringing these maniacs into her house.

Adjustments

Adjustments

"So let me get this straight; You can't fly." Rainbow Dash said to Sollux and Eridan. "But you're Pegasi!"

"We're also new here." Eridan responded, scoffing. Rainbow Dash had brought them to her home, yet they had obvious problems getting up. Rainbow Dash facehoofed for forgetting this.

"Just flap your wings and launch yourself off the ground. It's easy." She responded, giving a quick shove to Sollux. The two flightless Pegasi gave a quick glance to each other, but began flapping their wings anyway. Sollux's wings, however, flapped out of sync and made him fall over. Eridan managed to kick himself off of the ground, yet the wings seemed to be moving in circles, causing him to fall as well. Rainbow Dash just laughed. "You two really DON'T know!"

"Well, Excuse me for being more used to swimming." Eridan snapped.

Rainbow Dash sighed. "Well, guess I have to use the alternate way." She flew up into her house and returned a few seconds later with a length of rope. "I use this with Scoots. I find it funny how she's able to fly for a few seconds while you can't even get off the ground!" She laughed, shoving Sollux again. "Just grab onto the rope." Sollux and Eridan just stared at it, then at Dash, but grabbed held it in their mouths.

"Why are we doing thiiiiiiiiiiis!" Sollux asked, before being pulled up at high speeds by the cyan Pegasus. The flight was short, ending with the two facedown in the cloud. Rainbow dash sighed, shaking her head.

"You know, I could teach you how to fly along with Scootaloo. "

Eridan lifted his head. "Seriously."

Rainbow Dash nodded, and led everyone inside her house.

"What is this." Eridan asked once again. Rainbow Dash turned to see him dip his hoof in the rainbow fountain outside and lick it.

"No, wait-" Rainbow Dash tried to stop him, but was surprised to see that he seemed unaffected.

"...What." He asked.

Rainbow Dash didn't say anything, just dragged him inside her house.

She already knew this, but these ponies were weird.

Fluttershy stared at Nepeta in confusion.

The new pony was at an empty wall Fluttershy never used, carving pictures of her friends into it. She marked the pictures with Spades, Hearts, Diamonds, and Clubs, smiling if this was normal. Upon drawing all of her friends, she looked around as if forgetting something, noticed Fluttershy, and turned back to it. She carved pictures of Twilight and Rainbow Dash both with Karkat, marking each picture with a spade. She smiled and fell asleep in a chair by the wall. Equius trotted into the room, stared at the wall and sighed.

"Never thought she would want to do it this fast." Equius threw a blanket on top of Nepeta and sat down next to her. Fluttershy inched to the wall and ran her hoof over the engravings.

"C-could you... please tell me what these mean? If, if that's okay with you..." She squeaked, turning to the Unicorn. Equius sighed.

"Spades mean Kismesis, Clubs mean auspistice, diamonds mean Moirail, hearts mean matesprit." He said it as if Fluttershy already knew this.

"Umm...O-okay..." She squeaked again. She turned to Angel, who's look seemed to be saying I told you to not let them in. To be honest, she was more scared then frustrated with them.

"Sweet Apple Acres! Home sweet Home." Applejack announced, Vriska and Aradia following behind. The farm pony told them about their history and huge family, until they came up to the Apple Household. Applebloom was playing in the front wit Granny Smith and big Macintosh had returned from the field. "Howdy, Granny! These ponies are goin' to be livin' wit us for a bit, Princess's orders." She pushed Aradia and Vriska forward. Aradia simply seemed bored with the family already, and Vriska had walked over to Big Mac.

"You're awfully bulky." She said to the massive stallion.

"Eeyup."

"I could use you for some things." Vriska responded, smiling.

"Eenope."

Vriska frowned at Macintosh, not noticing when Applebloom walked up to her.

"Miss? What's your Cutie Mark for?" The yellow foal asked. Vriska turned to her, annoyed.

"My what?"

"Your Cutie Mark!" Applebloom pointed at her flank, Vriska seeing that on it was the symbol on most of her shirts. She stared at the rest of the family, noticing that they had marks as well.

"...Role Playing." She replied nervously. Applebloom tilted her head, but smiled and hopped off anyway. She walked back to Applejack and Aradia.

"Now, I don't want you to think bad of me or mah family, but if you're going to live here, you're gonna have to work. We have a lot of trees to buck, and we'll pay you with shelter in our barn." Applejack said with a smile.

"Wait...Buck?" Aradia asked.

"Yep. Follow me." Applejack trotted into the orchard, passing by empty baskets. She lead the two ponies up to a large tree full of the red fruit. "You just plant your hooves in the ground and shoot out your legs. Easy!" She pushed Vriska up to the tree and stared at her. The new pony simply stared back, but put her hooves on the ground and raised her legs. The second the two limbs hit the tree, Vriska hit the ground and moaned. A few apples fell out, and Applejack sighed.

"We'll work on that later, sugarcube." She put Vriska on her back and trotted to the barn.

She was glad they were so nice.

Rarity turned the lights on and led the two ponies inside.

"Welcome to the Carousel Boutique, where everything is Chiche, Unique, and Magnifique!" She said cheerfully, turning to the two. Feferi was obviously not interested, yet Kanaya seemed to be intrigued by the dresses and suits littering the room, mostly by a aqua blue ballgown donned with sapphires. "Ah, yes! This dress was requested a while ago, and I am very, very proud with it." She smiled at Kanaya, whom was still investigating the dress.

"Wouldn't it be better to use emeralds?" She asked.

"...What?" Rarity asked, confused.

"The colors seem to blend with each other, and the gems look dulled. Plus, the stitches are a bit to visible and the neck piece needs to be shorter." The Unicorn replied, circling around the dress. Rarity pulled up her blueprint and her eyes widened.

"Why, you're right!" She got a material box and levitated the mannequin towards her. Taking her sewing machine, she began to sang as she worked on the ballgown.

Piece by piece, snip by snip
Croup, dock, haunch, shoulders, hip
Thread by thread, primmed and pressed
Yard by yard, never stressed
And that's the art of the dress!

She laughed at the end, her eyes sparkling over her dress. Putting it back on the mannequin, she grabbed Kanaya and hugged her.

"Darling, you have a gift with fashion!" She laughed, and levitated a few more dresses to her. "Would you like to help me with these?"

Kanaya smiled and grabbed a few materials.

This was going better then expected.

Author's Note

This was more of an Intermission, and why I didn't go into what Pinkie was doing will be sown later.

Pinkie Promises and Cupcakes

"You promise you'll help me bake tomorrow?" Pinkie asked Eridan.

"Fine, whatever." The Pegasus said, looking at her at annoyance.

"Do you Pinkie Promise?" She asked, her gaze hardening.

"Yeah, fine. Pinkie Promise."

"Say it!"

"Say what?"

"'Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!' SAY IT!" Pinkie yelled. Eridan looked at her like she had sprouted a second head. In the silence, Pinkie repeated it, this time doing the signals. "Say it." She said again. Eridan sighed.

"Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye." He mumbled, doing the movements along with the chant. Pinkie smiled.

"8 o'clock sharp! Well, night, Eridan!" She said happily, and bounced off. The Pegasus sighed and followed Rainbow Dash back to her house.

Eridan woke up in his bed and rolled onto the clouds. Staring up at the clock, he noticed it was 9 o'clock. 1 hour after he was supposed to be at Sugar Cube corner. He groaned and woke up Rainbow Dash so she could fly him down.

"Why do you need to go this early..." She asked groggily, getting the length of rope.

"I said I would help the pink one bake today. I'm an hour late." Eridan mumbled, dragging Sollux to the front.

Rainbow Dash suddenly had a look of worry and rushed up to him. "You didn't Pinkie Promise, didn't you?

"She bugged me until I did. Why?" He said, pushing the worried cyan pony away.

She chuckled nervously. "Are you sure you wanna go into Ponyville? I haven't even shown you Cloudsdale!"

"Take me to the damn town." He said. Rainbow sighed and flew down to the field outside of Ponyville.

"Good luck." She said, before flying off. Eridan ignored this and trotted into town. He eventually made it to Sugar Cube corner, and knocked on the door a few times.

"Open up, Pinkie, I'm here-"

"ERIDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!" A screech erupted from behind the door. A second later, the door burst apart, causing Eridan to be sent across the street. In the doorway stood a Pink earth pony with flaming red eyes."YOU PINKIE PROMISED!" She yelled, her voice having a hint of a hellish undertone. Eridan yelped and scrambled to his hooves. He galloped through the street, Pinkie hot on his trail. He rushed into the Carousel Boutique, panting. Kanaya and Rarity stood up from working on a dress and stared at him.

"Eridan, what's wrong." Kanaya said, annoyed. Slamming came from behind the door.

"YOU PINKIE PROMISED!" Eridan stared at the two mares.

"...Oh dear." Rarity said. "Use the back door." Eridan nodded and ran out the back, causing Pinkie to start chasing him again. The two were in a game of cat-and-mouse for over half an hour, until Eridan rushed into the library, out of breath. Karkat stared at him, along with Twilight.

"The fuck. Do you need romantic advice, dude?" Karkat asked.

"What?...No, no! The pink one is trying to KILL ME!" He yelled.

"Oh, don't be silly." Twilight said. "Pinkie wouldn't try to kill anypony-" Twilight was interrupted by the door being busted open, an angry and tired Pinkie Pie standing in it's place. Eridan shrieked and tried to find somewhere to hide. "...Then again, she is front-in-line for her Pinkie Promises." Pinkie stalked into the room and cornered Eridan between a wall of bookshelves.

"ERIDAN! YOU BROKE YOUR PINKIE PROMISE!" She yelled at the scared Pegasus.

"I know, I know! WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO!" He shouted, hiding under his hooves to protect himself form the Pink Earth Pony's wrath.

"I want you to APOLOGIZE!"

Eridan moved his hooves from his eyes. "....What."

"Apologize!" She yelled again.

Eridan sat up, his eyes hinting a trace of annoyance. "Fine. I'm sorry for being late to help you bake."

Pinkie Pie smiled. "Good! Now to make up for lost time."

"Again, I'm sorry." Eridan growled, hating to apologize.

“Oh that’s OK, you’re here now. What‘s a few more minutes or hours? I've been sooo excited thinking about all fun stuff we’re gonna do, I haven’t stopped bouncing since I woke up. I mean, I almost forgot to breathe! I've been so happy.”

Eridan looked at the counter of Sugar Cube Corner, then at Pinkie Pie. "...Alright."

“So, you ready to get started, Eridan? I've got everything all ready.” The pink pony said.

"...Alright." The Pegasus said again, "What are we doing-"

"MAKING CUPCAKES!" The party pony happily announced.

"Baking? I'm not good at baking, you know."

“Oh, that’s not a problem at all. I only need your help making them. I’ll be doing most of the work.”

"Okay then. When do we start." Eridan said, leaning on the counter. Pinkie Pie grinned and held a cupcake out for him.

"...I thought I was helping you bake."

“You will be. I made this one just for you before you got here." Pinkie Pie said happily. Eridan inspected the pastry, before taking it and putting it into his mouth.

"Hmm. Now what?" Eridan asked, swallowing the cupcake.

Pinkie Pie began to answer, but before she could Eridan passed out on the floor.

A few hours later, Eridan woke up to the worried face of Pinkie and a doctor.

"Eridan, Eridan! Are you okay?" Pinkie asked, shaking his shoulders. The grey Pegasus tried getting to his hooves, but was brought down with a hard sting to the side of his head.

"Oh, this is my fault. When I was making that cupcake I accidentally used some alcohol I serve at some parties! You couldn't even handle a small amount of it. I'm sorry." Pinkie Pie hoisted the hangover suffering Pegasus onto her back. thanked the doctor, and trotted outside. "I'll get you home."

"Pinkie, you know what's funny...?" Eridan said on her back.

"What?"

"I had the weirdest dream... You were takin' out all of my organs, tearin' off mah wings, saying you were going to bake them into cupcakes..." Pinkie stopped in her tracks, and laughed.

"Oh, Eridan, you're so silly. But thanks for the Nightmare night idea!" Why would anyone think that she would bake organs and Pegasus wings into cupcakes? Next thing she knows, she may be accused of wearing a dress made of cutie marks! The new ponies were so funny....

Author's Note

Hooray for side stories and references!

The Party

It had been a rough night of thinking of what Karkat might do to bug her.

Twilight walked down the stairs and into the kitchen, where Spike was making breakfast and Terezi was waiting for it. The lavender mare sighed and sat down across from her. At that moment, Karkat trudged groggily into the room, earning a glare from Twilight.

"Go get the mail." She said flatly.

".....What." Karkat Responded.

"Go. Get. The mail." She said again. "If you're living here, you need to help Spike. Go get the mail." Karkat growled at her, but went outside anyway. He was going to go back in when he noticed she had no mailbox, but was stopped by a grey Pegasus falling out of the sky and right next to him.

"FUCK!" He yelled, jumping back. The Pegasus shook her head and saluted.

"DERPY HOOVES REPORTING FOR-- Wait, did Twilight move?" She asked, staring at Karkat.

"No, you're at her house." He replied, growling.

"Alright! You must be living with her! Take this inside with you." Derpy grabbed a box and dropped it in Karkat's hooves, it being remarkably heavy for it's size. "Welp, I gotta go! I have a husband and two daughters waiting for me!" At that, she took off, being followed by shouting and distant "I just don't know what went wrong!"

Karkat stared up into the sky, groaned, and went back in. He threw the box onto the table and sat down. Twilight investigated the box, then used her magic to open it.

"HI!" Pinkie Pie yelled, popping out of the box causing Karkat to yell and fall off his chair. "Oops. Sorry!" She leaned over Karkat and produced a cupcake for him out of nowhere. He grimaced and swatted it away. "Well, fine, Mr. Grumpy Gills." Pinkie said, pouting. "Anyway, Twilight, I have some super duper news for you!" Pinkie Pie inhaled deeply.

"Wait, What are you--" Karkat asked before being cut off.

Thiiis Is your singing Telegram, I hope it finds you well!
You're both invited to a party, 'cause we think you're really Swell!
We're celebrating the arrival of our 12 new friends,
It'll be held at Town Hall, The fun will never end!
Everyone's Invited, Everyone in Ponyville,
Once they all arrive, We'll have such a trill!
So come on now, a huge party tonight!
And best of all, your smiles will be bright!

The song ended with a few party horns blaring out of the box. Karkat groaned and slammed his face on the table, only to be held up by Twilight's magic.

"That was nice, Pinkie!" She said happily, clapping. "But you seriously invited everypony in town?"

"Yep, yep, yep! EVERYONE is going to meet our new friends!" She cheered, getting into Karkat's face. "You'll be at the party, right?" She asked Twilight.

"Of course we will, Pinkie, We love your parties!"

Karkat cut in. "Hey, Wait a minute-"

"Al-right!" Pinkie Pie smiled and ran out the door. Twilight and Karkat resumed glaring at each other.

"No fucking way I'm going to a dumb party." He said, sitting back down.

"Yes, you are. Pinkie is throwing it for YOU. YOU are going if I have to drag you to it." Twilight responded, letting him go from her magic.

"I fucking hate you."

"I know."

Zecora walked through the forest.

She had been happy to be invited to Pinkie's party, where she could meet the new friends Twilight and the others had made. She was stopped in her train of thought by tripping over a black box sticking out of the ground. Regaining her balance, Zecora took the box out of the ground and investigated it. She turned it over to see a smaller box taped to it. She put the two in her bag and trotted back to her hut.

"This box holds a tight lock, yet It's secrets I will not be blocked!"

Zecora spent the next few minutes trying to open the box, yet to no avail.

"Unicorn magic I must use, for what's inside, I still muse."

Zecora put the two boxes in her pocket and headed to the party.

Twilight was impressed.

The party was full of spotlights, balloons, and streamers covered basically every single opening. Ponies were either dancing, eating, chatting, or, in Pinkie's case, being crazy and just enjoying themselves. Vinyl Scratch had been blaring dubstep and heavy metal at the turn tables, sending powerful sound waves into the crowd. Gamzee was at the snack table, chugging what looked like soda, Tavros next to him.

"Pinkie's parties were already crazy, yet this is a new level." Twilight said, Karkat still mumbling insults at her. Feferi, Kanaya and Rarity were the next ones to appear, the latter and former wearing party dresses.

"Well?" Rarity asked, showing off an ebony black dress. "Kanaya here helped make it! She's an amazing seamstress, she has a great fashion sense-"

"LOOK OUT BELOW!" Rainbow Dash yelled. Rarity yelped and got out of the way, just as Sollux and Eridan crashed into the ground. The cyan Pegasus glided down to the ground. "Sorry 'bout that! I've been teaching them my moves, yet now I think that flying from my house was a bad idea." She helped the two ponies up, both saying hi to Karkat before walking off somewhere. Next up came Applejack, then Fluttershy. All twelve of the trolls had gone off to the snack table to talk with each other. The six had gone to a separate table.

"Let me guess: At least one of them have been giving you trouble." Twilight said, sipping her drink.

"Actually, No. True, Vriska and Aradia can't buck for any of the orchard's worth, but they don't trouble the family much." Applejack said.

"Like I said, Kanaya is simply divine helping with my dresses." Rarity added.

"N-Nepeta has carved a 'Shipping Wall' into my house..." Fluttershy quietly said. "But she says it's normal, so I believe her."

"How have the other two been for you, sugarcube?" Applejack said.

Twilight stopped drinking her punch and stood up.

"Terezi has been quiet, but Karkat has been GETTING ON MY NERVES. You know what he did? He said that his kind reproduces using Buckets right to my face!"

Pinkie Pie walked to the table with a tray of drinks. "Wait, THAT'S what they use buckets for? I guess that the prank I put for them won't work-" She was cut off by a crash over at where the mentioned twelve were. Karkat was soaked and had a pail on his head. Upon realization, he began flailing around his hooves and yelling. The others ignored him. "-That well." Pinkie Pie giggled and sat down.

"He made me get rid of the buckets in my house." Twilight grumbled.

"You could have said that it was your decision to get rid of them, you didn't have to." Rainbow dash responded

"Ooh! Are you beginning to fancy him?" Rarity eagerly asked. Twilight blushed while the other 5 eagerly asked her.

"NO! He's annoying, rude, and uses way to many swears. I do NOT like him."

"We don't mind if you want him to be your Matesprit." Fluttershy said. The other 5 stared at her, until Pinkie began hopping around.

"Ooh! Ooh! Zecora's here! Zecora's Here!" She said, hopping to the Zebra.

"Pinkie Pie, my dear! A extravagant party, I see here." Zecora said, bowing. Pinkie Pie rushed to Vinyl's turntables and grabbed a microphone.

"HEY EVERYPONY!" She yelled, calling everyone's attention. "Now That Everyone is here, We'd like it if you meet the twelve new ponies that made this party possible!" A cheer rang out, and a large circle was made around the snack table, showing Sollux and Gamzee trying to get the bucket off of Karkat's head. When the pail came off, a conversation had stared among the crowd. Gamzee threw the bucket to the side and jumped on Tavros's shoulders.

"PARTY!" He yelled, holding a bottle of soda above his head.

The crowd cheered and Vinyl began blaring the music louder then before. Pinkie was dancing in the punch bowl, and the other 5 slowly made their way to the table. Zecora was dancing in the crowd, not noticing when the two black boxes fell out of her bag and were kicked to the said table. Karkat felt something hit his hoof and looked down. His eyes widened when he saw the two boxes, and picked them up.

Sburb.

How did it get here, he didn't know. All he did know was that it was the human equivalent of Sgrub.

"GET OVER HERE!" He called to the others, and slammed the disc case and computer onto the table. The others reacted the same way.

"How did it get here?" Tavros asked.

"I don't fucking know, don't ask me." Karkat snapped.

"Maybe we could use it to get home?" Nepeta asked, grabbing the disc case.

"One, I don't know. And Two, We don't have a fucking thing to power it."

"...Or do we." Equius said, turning to Twilight. The twelve exchanged glances before Karkat smiled.

"Fucking do it."

Meanwhile, In Manehattan...

Derpy Hooves landed outside her apartment in Manehattan.

She smiled and walked in to her husband, the famous Doctor Hooves, or Time Turner as others call him, cooking while looking over their two daughters, Sparkler and Dinky.

"I'm home!" She called out, hugging her two daughters and kissing the Doctor's cheek. "I'm sorry I had to work late."

"Mom, your friends came by earlier." Sparkler said, nudging to a picture frame containing a college photo of Lyra, Bon Bon, and Derpy all hugging. "They said that you should meet them in the park later when you got home." Derpy smiled at her daughter and rubbed her head. She walked back to the door.

"Ooh! Ooh! Mommy, can you take us to the park too?" Dinky said eagerly. Sparkler rolled her eyes and smiled. Derpy walked over to Dinky and let her get on her back.

"Of course, muffin. Doctor, are you coming?" The cross eyed mare asked. The Doctor chuckled and joined his wife by the door.

The Hooves family made it to the park Lyra and Bon Bon told them to meet at. Derpy told Sparkler and Dinky to go play while she looked for her two friends. She found Lyra sitting on a bench in her odd way, excited. Upon seeing Derpy, she ran over to her, grabbed her hoof, and led her over to the fountain in the middle of the park. Hiding in the bushes with Bon Bon, she pointed to 4 ponies.

One was a Blue Pegasus with glasses and black hair, talking to his 3 associates. One was a magenta Unicorn with white hair, staring at the Pegasus. A Green Unicorn with a black mane was staring at a red earth pony with sunglasses and a spiked white mane. The Pegasus's cutie mark was a green worm-like thing, The magenta unicorn's a skull, the green unicorn's a dog head, and the Earth pony's a record disc.

"...Why am I here, Lyra?" Derpy asked.

"You know what they said earlier? They said that they had HANDS! Also they weren't from here and possibly another world, but HANDS!" Lyra said eagerly. Derpy groaned at her friend's obsession with the fictional creature known as a "Hew-man".

"If we go talk to them, will you let me go home?"

"Sure!"

Derpy walked out of the bush, followed by Lyra and Bon Bon.

"...And this is how close I can get to the windy thingy." The Blue Pegasus flapped his wings quickly. "What should we do, Dave?" Dave shrugged.

"We could ask the locals." The Green Unicorn asked.

"Or we could keep wondering how we got here. CURSE YOU BETTY CROCKER!" The Pegasus yelled.

"Who's Betty Crocker?" Bon Bon asked, walking close to the 4 with Derpy, Lyra rushing forward and getting into the magenta Unicorn's face.

"Ohmygoshwhoareyouwe'vebeenspyingforthepastfewminutesareyoufromanotherworldDIDYOUHAVEHANDS!?" She asked quickly, The magenta Unicorn pushing her away.

"We are from another world!" The Pegasus said, saluting. "And yes, we did have hands." Lyra's eyes sparkled as she stared at him.

"Who are you guys?" Bon Bon asked, her voice notably changing.

The Blue Pegasus stood up. "John!"

Dave waved.

The two unicorns were "Rose" and "Jade."

"Sooo how did you get here?" Derpy Asked.

"We don't know." John said.

"Well, I know a friend that might!" Lyra said eagerly. "I know Twilight Sparkle, best unicorn in Equestria! She can find a way to send you back!" She hopped in place, smiling at the 4. She grabbed them and her friends, then perched on the fountain.
"TO PONYVILLE!"

"...Lyra, put me down." Bon Bon said.

Author's Note

MORE INTERMISSION!

Screwing up Twilight's house

"Alright, let's see if this works." Karkat said, surrounded by the 11 others as he hooked the computer up to the generator. Twilight had let them borrow it after the party, but it was possibly because she had overdid the cider. Kakrat turned on the machine and sat down in front of the computer. Slowly, it flickered to life. "Boom." Karkat mumbled, and swerved the mouse around the desktop. He opened the disk drive and inserted Sburb Beta into the slot. He felt the human emotion "Happiness" as he saw the opening window.

SBURB CLIENT IS RUNNING...

On the train to Ponyville, everyone had questions.

Lyra wanted to know what it was like to have hands.

John, Rose, Dave, and Jade wanted to know why they were here.

Derpy and Bon Bon wanted to know why they were dragged along.

In few words, everyone was confused. Dave kept quiet during the entire ride, even with Lyra asking questions nonstop. John kept trying to do "The Windy Thing" to the confusion of Derpy, who just saw it as flapping his wings quickly. This helped him learn how to fly however, and just glided off of the floor for a few minutes at a time.

"...That won't work, you know. There isn't any wind inside the train, even as a Pegasus." Derpy said, staring at John. The stallion seemed to have a moment of realization before running to the back. "...That guy's gonna get into trouble sometime. I know it."

"I think all of them will." Bon Bon said, keeping her voice low so Jade and Rose couldn't hear her. "But it'll be good seeing Octy and Vinyl again, right?" Derpy nodded. They kept in touch even after Derpy, Bon Bon, and Lyra had moved.

"I don't know, Bon. I still think this may be a bad idea-"

"DO THE WINDY THING!"

Derpy's eyes widened and she stuck her head out the window, to see John on the top of the train flapping his wings. This only led to more chaos, ending with the train halting, John in a pile of dirt about a mile away, and Derpy yelling.

Twilight woke up with a splitting headache.

She growled and held her pillow to her head, hating the pain. She vaguely remembered being offered some cider by Pinkie last night, and the rest was overshadowed by flashing lights and rave music. Karkat asked her something last night, but that was drowned out. She cast a painkiller spell and got up. Spike was still asleep, and Terezi and Karkat weren't in the bed she had let them sleep in. She went downstairs and into the kitchen and began cooking herself breakfast. They must have went somewhere, she thought. She was about to take a sip of water when she heard a thump coming behind her. Turning around, she saw that half of her wall had just disappeared. She dropped her glass and ran over to the gap. It seemed to be just cut out of the room, no dents or anything.

She was about to say something else when the wall appeared again, causing her to jump back. The wall vanished once more, but was replaced by a square room sprouting out. Twilight ran outside, and true to what she thought, there was a square growth on the side of her tree. It disappeared, and Twilight ran back in. The second she entered her living room, one of her shelves had been torn out of the wall. The lavender mare jumped onto it as the books it held were dropped on the floor.

"SPIKE!" Twilight called. No answer. How he was sleeping, she didn't know. The shelf dropped down and the table took it's place in the air. The mare focused and wrapped her magic across the table and pulled it back. The unknown force against her broke out of her hold and dropped the table. Owlowiscious hooted and perched on the unicorn, looking around as the door was ripped out of it's hinges and thrown across the room. Twilight charged up her magic, focused, and released a revealing spell out. She swiveled her head around, trying to find the intruder. To her shock, nothing was found, and more things were shot around the room.

If I was still an Alicorn, this would be easy! She thought, watching the flying objects thrown around her house. The second she though about her past, a memory flooded back to her.

Twilight looked at Shining Armor.

He had grown slight wrinkles on his face, his blue eyes having paled so little no one else noticed. Cadence on his side, however, looked no different then when she was first seen at their wedding so long ago.

"Twiley, are you sure you want to do this?" Shining Armor asked, placing his hoof on her shoulder.

"Of course I do. I've thought about it and this is my conclusion." Shining Armor nodded and nuzzled his little sister. Twilight opened the corridor doors and walked toward the throne of her great mentor. Twilight bowed.

"Princess?" She said.

"Twilight, my faithful student, what do you need to tell me?" Celestia said, walking forward to her student. Twilight raised her head.

"I wish to step down from being a princess."

Celestia was surprised, but kept her neutral look on her face.

"Follow me." The princess said, walking to another exit. Twilight followed her, traveling through the many corridors and rooms. Celestia motioned her to the balcony. The princess looked out into the horizon and admired the sunset spreading out on Ponyville and Cloudsdale. "Beautiful, isn't it?" She asked the smaller alicorn, turning to her. Twilight simply nodded. "Why do you wish to not be a princess, My Student?" Celeestia asked, still staring at the sunset.

Twilight breathed in and out. "About two weeks ago, I visited my brother in the Crystal Empire once again. I was excited, yet the minute I saw him I noticed something was different. I didn't know for a few days until the last day. I saw he was aging. I spent the next few days trying to tell me he just wasn't getting much sleep, but my mind finally made me come with the result. I realized all of my friends would age as well, and eventually leave us. I don't want to be a Princess if it means losing my friends one day, then never seeing them as long as I lived." Twilight exhaled, then looked at her mentor. The sun goddess was staring at her in thought.

"Twilight, I know a day like this would come. I went through the same thing with Luna and other ponies I shared the magic of friendship with. I, however, did not let myself get rid of my wings, for I knew Equestria needed me. It still pains me today. I do not want you to go on with the very same thing." Twilight looked at her mentor with shock. "I shall teach you a spell that was conjured by me a long time ago. Repeat after me."

Twilight readied her horn.

"The ones I care for have left this world, that I cannot abide. Unable to live without them, I cast my power aside." Celestia said with a calm voice. She looked at Twilight as she inhaled and spoke calmly.

"The ones I care for have left this world..." Twilight's wings began glowing. "That I cannot abide..." The wings unfurled. "Unable to live without them..." The wings began becoming transparent. "I cast my power aside." The wings finally disappeared, leaving Twilight a Unicorn once more.

Twilight snapped out of her daydream to Spike shaking her.

"Twilight! TWILIGHT!" He said, shaking her back and forth.

"Spike! I'm here, what's wrong?"

"What's wrong? Do you see this mess?" Twilight looked around the room, seeing that everything had been knocked over or broken. Spike groaned. "I'll start cleaning it up."

"No, I'll do it." Twilight quickly said. "Just think of it as a friendly gesture." She hugged Spike. Not knowing what to do, he just patted her on the back and walked into the kitchen. Twilight sighed and began cleaning up.

Karkat shut off the computer. The others had left earlier, but he stayed and messed with Twilight. He didn't know why she stopped moving after awhile, but he continued messing up the house even after it. He got up and trotted upstairs, impressed with his damage. He went into the living room to see Twilight cleaning up. He held his head high and walked past her.

"Yo, I'm going outside, just keep cleaning-"

"Karkat, I'm your friend, right?" Twilight asked suddenly. She turned to him with sad eyes and stared at him. Karkat looked around awkwardly, trying to see if she would stop staring.

".......Yeeeeeesss...?" He said, edging to the door. Twilight smiled and resumed cleaning. Karkat ran outside and shut the door behind him.

Gamzee stuck his head in a cupboard in Sugar Cube Counter.

When he first arrived in Equestria, he didn't care about being a horse, just that 1. Where would he get his Faygo and 2. Where would he get his Sopor Slime. He managed to find a substitute for Faygo, and Zecora gave him herbs that were the same as Sopor. He of course went ahead and baked it into pies, which he never let Pinkie sell. Today However, he searched frantically through the pantry of the store for the herb substitute. Had he ran out already?

YoU dOn'T nEeD iT. Crap, voices. Not a good sign. Gamzee began searching harder.

He was all out.

YoU'rE a HiGhBlOoD, yOu DoN't NeEd It. The earth pony began swearing as he tried looking for scraps. The voices got heavier as he ran into the kitchen to see a single pie. He struggled toward it, the voices already trying to take over his mind.

NO

Gamzee dropped his hoof and laid face-down in the ground for a few moments. He slowly lifted his head, stared at the pie, and threw it in the trash. He looked through the drawers. Rolling Pins. Close enough. He put the baking tools in his mouth and walked outside.

The Dark Carnival was coming to town.

The Dark Carnival

Twilight was enjoying some tea and a book when the door was shot off it's hinges for the second time. She sighed, put down her book and cup, and walked to the door frame. Standing in it's place was a smiling Pinkie Pie with Tavros held like a battering ram under her hoof, the door held firmly to the tip of his horns.

"Hi Twilight! Look, I found a fun way to open doors!" The earth pony said happily, letting go of Tavros and hopping over to the Unicorn. The horned pony sighed and tried shoving the door off his head as Pinkie began talking.

"Has Gamzee been here earlier? I haven't seen him since yesterday, and neither has Tavros! He left a note, see?" Pinkie took out a slip of paper and gave it to Twilight.

going out for awhile
DON'T MOTHERFUCKING FOLLOW ME

Twilight put down the note and stared at Pinkie.

"This doesn't bother you at all?"

"Nope! The only thing that does is that he took my rolling pins! And he left his pie in the kitchen. What's odd is that when I gave to Pound and Pumpkin Cake they got super-duper sleepy! Maybe that's why he never let me touch them." Pinkie Pie said, when Zecora walked into the library, glancing at Tavros still trying to pry the door off.

"Pinkie Pie, There you are! You weren't at Sugar Cube Corner, but i knew you wouldn't go far. I need a favor you see, can you give this to your friend Gamzee?" She reached into her bag and pulled out a large fern. "At your last party, he seemed worried, so I asked him what his trouble might be. He needed a herb that helped him sleep, so I gave him this special leaf. I thought by now he had ran low, but he wasn't there, so I'd let you know." It was at this very moment Tavros got the door off and stood up quickly.

"What did he call the thing?" He asked quickly.

"The leaf, you mean? He called it 'Sopor,' I believe." Tavros's eyes widened and he ran outside.

"He's not sober, he's not sober, he's not..." He continued repeating this.

"What the fuck is he doing?" Karkat said, entering the room.

"He's running outside saying 'he's not sober,' Silly." Pinkie said.

"WERE YOU TALKING ABOUT GAMZEE?" Karkat said quickly.

"Yes. Why'd you ask?"

"Shit." Karkat followed Tavros outside, causing Twilight, Pinkie, and Zecora to chase after. They eventually got to town square, with Karkat perched on top of Tavros.

"EVERYONE IN HORSEVILLE! GET IN YOUR HIVES! THERE'S A MANIAC ON THE LOOSE!" He shrieked on the top of his lungs, causing the flower trio to scream and run into their shop. The rest of Ponyville quickly followed, except for Rarity, Fluttershy, Eridan, Sollux, and Rainbow Dash.

"U-Um...What's going on...?" Fluttershy said, before being grabbed by Karkat.

"Are Equius and Nepeta Okay." He asked firmly.

"Y-yes..?" She said awkwardly.

"Karkat, what's the meaning of this?" Twilight asked. He sighed heavily and sat down.

"Okay, listen. I don't have good details, but these will have to do: A time ago, Gamzee was like he was when you met him. Being a stoned, idiot miracle and faygo-obsessed clown. Yet he was still a good friend. It was all peachy and other shit until 1) An asshole named Dave sent him this video that shall not be named, and 2) He ran out of Sopor Slime, this thing that helps us trolls sleep. He came to the conclusion: 1) it was destroying his brain. True. 2) He is a descendant of the High Subjugglators, a bunch of assholes that killed others. True. 3) He is both of the messiahs of his own religion. Controversial. 4) He has to kill everyone. Highly troubling. and 5) Paint pictures with their blood. Terrifying. He killed Equius with HIS OWN BOW, and then beat Nepeta to death. Eventually, he collected the heads and bodies of Eridan, Feferi, Tavros here, Nepeta, and Equius. He was a psycho asshat that only I can get sober once again."

A quiet breeze blew during the silence that followed.

"And I don't think he's afraid to do it again."

And at that moment, a scream rang out in the distance. Karkat and Tavros didn't hesitate and sprinted. The others followed.

"By the way," Rainbow Dash said. "Eridan and Sollux know how to fly now. But now's not a good time to celebrate." She turned to the two mentioned Pegasi cutting through the air.

"...Oh no." Tavros mumbled as he stopped. Twilight caught up with him to see what he was referring to.

In front of him was the schoolhouse with a broken window. Twilight and Rarity rushed in. Inside,desks were toppled over, floorboards were broken, books were on the floor, and Cherilee laid on her desk unconscious with a bruise on her forehead. Twilight rushed over to her and shook her awake. The schoolteacher opened her eyes a small bit and looked around the room.

"Where... Where are... Where are the foals...?" She asked, looking at Twilight.

"Cherilee, stay still." Twilight let her close her eyes again and turned to the others. "She has a concussion. Tavros, what should we do?" Tavros didn't answer, for he was too transfixed on the wall. On it was written crudely in ink.

I'M BACK :o)

"He took the foals." Rarity said, covering her muzzle. Karkat grabbed Rainbow Dash.

"Is there any place abandoned near the town." He asked quickly.

"There's an abandoned castle in the Everfree forest. Would he go there?" Twilight said quickly.

"Knowing Gamzee, he would." The ponies rushed outside and toward the Everfree.

Gamzee looked around the interior of the castle. It would have to work. He threw down the bag of foals and walked forward. The CMC fell out and looked at Gamzee with terror. Scootaloo inched forward.

"When Rainbow Dash gets here, She'll kick the heck outta you!" She said loudly. Gamzee turned around and put down his rolling pins.

"Did your teacher manage to save you?" He asked.

"...No." Scootaloo said.

"Did the others try and save you?"

"No."

"Then what makes you so sure she'll motherfucking save you?" Scootaloo stared down in defeat. "I'll let you know something. I'm a bit lost here."

"Excuse me?" Applebloom said.

"I mean, how am I going to preserve your bodies. I know what to do with your heads, but not where to store your motherfucking bodies. It's a bit frustrating." The foals shook in fear. Gamzee twirled the rolling pin in his hoof as he eyed Sweetie Belle inching to the door. He walked over, grabbed her by the tail, and got close to her face. The unicorn whimpered. She had talked to Gamzee before, and he might have been weird but he was nice to her.

"It's funny. Nepeta tried to run too. But I'm not beating ya yet." He dropped the filly and grinned. "But when I get my friends again, It'll be one big motherfucking miracle."

Pinkie Pie tried budging the door.

"It's locked!"

"Of course it is." Karkat said. "For wood, It'll be hard to break."

"Sweetie Belle..." Rarity whispered. Rainbow Dash tackled the door while Pinkie Pie closed her eyes and thought. Her eyes popped open.

"TAVROS!" She yelled, grabbing him and hoisting him above her head. The horned earth Pony didn't have time to question when he has thrown against the door and jammed his horns in the lock. Pinkie grabbed his forelegs and pulled. After a few seconds, the lock was ripped out of it's place and once again jammed onto his horns. Pinkie pie opened the door and walked in.

"Gamzee!" She called to the Earth Pony. "What are you doing!" Gamzee seemed startled, before turning around and growling. "Let the foals GO!" Pinkie Yelled. She lowered her head and prepared to charge. Gamzee didn't even blink. He was prepared for this.

"They're in the other Motherfucking room. Go ahead." He said calmly. Pinkie raised her head, eyed him, and stared as she stalked forward. "If you want to rescue the ungrateful shits." Pinkie stopped.

"Ungrateful?" She asked, not turning around.

"You don't know? I thought it was obvious." He said, a small grin creeping to his face.

"What are you talking about?" Pinkie asked. Gamzee had to hold back a laugh.

"Remember that motherfucking story you told me about the motherfucking parasprites? Really cool. But did anyone thank you afterword?"

Pinkie frowned. "...No..."

"Oh? And even with how much you had to bear to use that song once again?"

"...I don't know what you're talking about." Pinkie said, and walked forward.

"Don't lie, Pinkie. Motherfucking Cakes told me everything. How you got your Cutie Mark. What happened on that day. What happened to your family." Pinkie froze in place as Gamzee smiled. He circled her. "Yep. Everything. How you 'didn't know the swarm would be attracted to that song. Your family saved you, but you didn't see them again.'" Pinkie bit her lip. "'You didn't want to play that song anymore.' Yet you did. You hated every minute of it. But you did it. And no one thanked ya. Not even your friends."

"No, They didn't!" Pinkie said, stomping her hoof. "Even with what I did..." Memories flooded back to her, things she didn't want to remember. And slowly, her hair flattened. She smiled.

"She's been in there for awhile..." Eridan said.

"Pinkie! What are you doing!" Rainbow Dash called. No Answer. "Welp. Screw this." Rainbow charged through the door. Everyone else followed, finding the lobby empty. "Scoots!" Rainbow Dash called, and was rewarded with a cry for help in the other room. She bucked open the door and surveyed the room for Gamzee or Pinkie.

"Is-is he there?" Fluttershy asked, crawling into the room.

"Nope."

Pinkie Pie trotted out from behind a statue, her head held high.

"Pinkie!" Twilight said, relieved. "Where's Gamzee?" Pinkie Grinned and walked forward, the group gasping as her flattened hair came into view.

"Not Pinkie." She said as she lowered her head. "Pinkamena." Gamzee stepped out from behind her, smiling.

"What the heck!?" Rainbow Dash exclaimed. Pinkie chuckled.

"i just came to My senses, that's all."

"Where's the foals!?" Twilight yelled. Pinkie just pointed to a net by the window. In it was the CMC, Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, and Twist. Pinkamena shrugged and flipped a knife around.

"This is insane!" Rarity said.

"Hey, Just doing what I motherfucking want." Gamzee said. Rainbow dash growled and charged forward. Pinkamena swiftly dodged and grabbed Dash by the wings.

"Nice try." Pinkamena threw her to the left and continued flipping around her knife, smiling at Gamzee who grabbed the rolling pins and neared Dash. Eridan flew forward and tackled Gamzee as Twilight, Sollux and Karkat began trying to untie the net.

"We'll get you out of here, I promise." Twilight assured the foals, using her horn to cut the net open. Eridan was kicked off of Gamzee and landed in front of the three. Karkat growled and ran forward. Twilight felt relief wash over her. Karkat was Gamzee's friend, he could snap him out of it and save them--

He tapped Gamzee's muzzle and began muttering shoosh.

"...What." Rainbow Dash muttered. Gamzee just grinned evilly and threw Karkat to the side.

"That doesn't motherfucking work on me anymore, bro." He laughed. Karkat stared at him in shock. He didn't have his sickles with him, and everyone else here didn't have a weapon. He looked around quickly, trying to find something to use. In the corner, shivering, was a scared Fluttershy.

"Hey! YOU!" Karkat called to her. "You're good with beasts! Try and calm him!"

"ARE YOU CRAZY!" Fluttershy yelled back.

"TRY!" Karkat yelled, running behind Pinkamena and tackling her. Fluttershy creeped forward, hiding behind the pillars before managing to get behind Gamzee. The clown was too busy watching the chaos to notice the yellow Pegasus fly above him. Sollux took this time to tackle him to the ground,

"NOW!" Karkat yelled, holding down Pinkamena. Fluttershy whimpered and glided down to the struggling Gamzee. Confused, she hesitantly tapped his muzzle and shushed him. Gamzee stopped struggling for a few seconds, before thrashing around and making honk sounds. Fluttershy eeped and drew back, but she whimpered and did it again. He yelled and struggled against Sollux's hold. Fluttershy seemed like she was about to faint, but she did it once more. Gamzee topped for a few more seconds, before fainting. Fluttershy groaned and fainted with him.

"One down, one more to go." Rarity mumbled, readying her horn. Pinkamena kicked Karkat off and grabbed him by the neck. She held up her knife and drew it back.

"Pinkie, NO!" Twilight yelled. Pinkamena grinned and readied the knife.

Before she could bring it to Karkat, a window broke and she was tackled down my a blue blur. Pinkie was knocked out. Karkat looked up and his eyes widened.

"JOHN!?"

"Karkat?"

Rose, Dave, Jade, Bon Bon, Lyra, and Derpy opened the door to the room. While the trolls and others asked questions, John saw the knife in Pinkie's hoof, smiled, few up and began to sing.

If there’s something strange
in your Sburb session
Who ya gonna call?
JOHN EGBERT!

If there’s something weird
and it don’t look good
Who does the windy thing?
JOHN EGBERT!

I ain’t afraid of no Jack!
I ain’t afraid of no Jack!

If you’re seeing things
in Skaia’s clouds
Who can ya call?
JOHN EGBERT!

If an angry troll
is messing with your head
Who ya gonna call?
JOHN EGBERT!

I ain’t afraid of no trolls!
I ain’t afraid of no trolls!

Who ya gonna call?
JOHN EGBERT!

If ya feeling glum
boot up Pesterchum
I won’t mind!
JOHN EGBERT!

I ain’t afraid of no Jack!
I hear he likes to stab!
I ain’t afraid of no Jack!
Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah!

Who ya gonna call?
JOHN EGBERT!

While Karkat yelled for John to shut up, Lyra looked around to see the trolls.

"Oh my Celestia, THERE'S MORE!" She squealed, and was the fourth pony to faint that day.

Author's Note

Serious Pinkie.